#ed recovery journey | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crustyisgettingbetter · 7 months

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It's transparency time.

I relapsed for a bit. I'm still in a bad mindset about my body, I won't lie about that. But I'm Choosing to eat a "normal" diet regardless, and since doing so (about 2 days), I've been less miserable all around. I know I need to work on my relationship with my body rather than try to change it.

Recovery is not linear, and it's okay to struggle <3

#ed recovery #ed recovery journey #recovery is hard

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maxiglow · 2 months

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JZ

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sonasi · 6 months

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Reasons why you should recover 🖤

To see your skin glow under the sun

To let your hair grow long and healthy

To smile & laugh genuinely

To travel the world

To see the clouds turn pink when the sun sets

To see your family and friends smile when they look at you

To smile at yourself in the mirror

To have a happy & healthy family in the future

To taste yummy cooked meals

To dance outside in the rain

To run & play with your pets

To go on dates

To take warm baths in the winter

To have healthy nails to paint

To sit next to a campfire

To drive anywhere you want

To be strong

To feel comfortable in your skin

To cuddle with your pets late at night

To stargaze

To wear fuzzy socks & pj pants on a cold night

To play in the snow

To go swimming under the sun

To jump in a pile of leaves

To go on walks with your pets

To listen to music

To go on road trips

To make someone smile

To hear the words “I love you.”

To know it gets better

To think clearly

To care for your body

To light up a Christmas tree

To go Trick or Treating with friends or family

To celebrate your birthday

To celebrate any holiday

To eat your favorite foods & drink your favorite drinks

To love your life

To love yourself <3

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uncanny-tranny · 8 months

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The thing that sucks about disordered eating recovery is that... you're expected to have a completely healthy relationship with food, eating, and exercise, but you also need to know and self-enforce the idea of Good Foods and Bad Foods, and you also cannot recover into a fat body or keep a fat body, but you also need to effortlessly maintain a thin and trim body. You also can't make other people (i.e. the "normal" folk) uncomfortable if you aren't doing okay or if you have a disordered experience. But you also cannot "glamourize" your past experience, even if you aren't glamourizing it at all.

It's really hard to internalize the idea that there isn't a "good" way to recover, and that recovery will look different. I always felt so out of place amongst people who don't get it because they often have their own ideas of your experience that they expect or even demand you adhere to.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #recovery #disordered eating #disordered eating tw #eating disorder tw #ed tw #not to MENTION how awful recovered/recovering fat folk are treated in this because of the inherent fatohobia in how recovery is seen/treated #i feel this twofold as a trans man because of the way i'm simultaneously supposed to not have this experience...#...but also must adhere to the idea of having a small little body that doesn't 'impose' or is too becoming for a (trans) man #i'm trying to keep a good outlook on my own recovery and my fitness journey but it can suck y'know

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boylikeanangel · 8 months

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clinging onto these pictures like a fucking lifeline right now honestly. the pearl necklace. buttons' jacket. the slow but sure process of shedding the skin of blackbeard and becoming "just edward" once more. the proof that ed is not lost, it's a long road but he's finding himself again and most importantly he's trying. he's been forgiven by the crew, he's one of them again. they're lending him their clothes. he's wearing little gifts from stede. he's happy and he's healing and he has FRIENDS. he really is going to be ok ohhhhhhhh

#i cannot wait to bawl my fucking eyes out over eds arc this season #every episode i predict one item of clothing is going to be replaced #until we find the real ed at the end of the season #blackbeard gone for good. just edward remains #its gonna be so good. i believe so hard in his recovery and his journey #our flag means death #meta tag

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wellfedfemme · 1 year

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chugged a malted strawberry milkshake to finish off lunch (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

i weighed in today and i put on like five pounds over the past few weeks ;))))

the wg->horny->wg cycle has had my brain in a fucking chokehold lmfao, i can legit feel my clothes getting tighter by the day and it just makes me want more, faster >:3

#i dont like to check my numbers that often cause i try to stay away from ed patterns lf behavior #being in recovery and all #but when i do its honestly just such an affirming rush #and rlly hot too lol #plus im noticing that im a lot more okay with my weight not doing exactly what i want it to #like if it drops or stagnates i just feel okay :))#whoops #did not mean to get emotional in the kink post tags but #my whole like “gaining journey” or whatever has done wonders for my body image in a way i never couldve imagined #n i just like to share that sometimes #wffemmepics

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jewishjunkie · 3 months

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finally a nice sunny day 😎😎

#selfie #me #body image #ed recovery #recovery #self love journey #self love

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ed-recovery-affirmations · 3 months

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What made you want to recover. I have anorexia and I don't want to recover I just want to get worse and worse until I'm sick enough. I'm in forced recovery but faking it as I just want to starve is there any reason to recover?

Hello anon, this is a difficult question to answer because for me, personally, it wasn't any one thing that made me want to recover. The truth is that when I started, I didn't understand the long-term effects of what I was doing to myself. I sort of knew about them, but the importance of being thin had been stressed to me all of my life and so I was in a self-destructive place where I was willing to make that choice again and again and risk throwing away my health for thinness. That's pretty fucked up, true, but again, I didn't understand the full extent of the damage I might be doing to myself.

I think it's also worth mentioning that I had an undiagnosed chronic illness and some trauma that I was quietly sitting on because I doubted my own perspective and my ability to access real help for these things. Because of this, I didn't have a frame of reference for mental and physical wellness, because I hadn't felt mentally or physically well for a very long time. Even now, looking back at symptoms I was experiencing, it is hard to know if I was experiencing these things due to my eating disorder or something else. I think it was all cumulative damage, to be honest. The eating disorder didn't help.

But looking back, I think I actually had an eating disorder long before I "decided" to start restricting food. I remember going through a growth spurt during puberty around age twelve and being hungry all the time, but we frequently had the kind of foods people call "junk food" in the house because that's what my parents bought. So that's what I ate a lot of, constantly, and my mother was constantly remarking on it in a negative way and trying to stop me. I have a very complicated relationship with my mother, and she raised me with a complicated relationship to food and body image. I remember doing fucked-up things like sneaking food into the bathroom with me so I could eat snacks in the shower unobserved, or hiding snacks under my bed, and just absolutely gorging on food at other times while knowing I was eating way past the point of being full and not knowing why I wanted to. So I officially decided to start restricting when I was fifteen, but the truth is that I had a fucked up relationship with food way earlier than that.

When I was nearing my seventeenth birthday, I experienced a breakdown in health due to chronic illness. I was suffering terribly. At the time I had this hippie friend who believed everything could be cured with the right diet and supplements. As I mentioned before, I was raised in a household where we didn't fully understand proper nutrition, and I had been raised eating a lot of low-nutrition meals. Because I had a stronger relationship with this friend than with my family, I bought into the mindset that if I got the right nutrients, I would be cured. And, in my mind, I had to get as many of those nutrients as possible as quickly as possible, so I immediately turned back to bingeing. But I was bingeing on a lot of high-nutrient hippie foods, so I didn't see a problem with this. I didn't understand that my relationship to the food wasn't fixed. I wasn't enjoying it, I was gorging on it, and between meals I was desperately anticipating the time I could gorge again. And because it was hippie food, I thought that this would cure me.

The thing was, after over a year of severe restriction, my GI system was wildly unprepared to handle the level of food-stuffing I was about to put it through - even though it was super-healthy hippie food. So I actually got sicker, experiencing the symptoms that come along with suddenly eating real portions after restriction. This led to me alternating between not understanding why the food wasn't working to cure me, to not understanding why I felt so addicted to eating. And this kick-started a violent binge-restrict cycle where I'd force myself to go hungry until certain times a day, at which point I'd unleash myself upon food and be unable to stop. Then I'd restrict again the next day to make up for it, get increasingly desperate for food, and you see the pattern. The binge-restrict cycle is so real.

So I was super trapped in that life and I wanted out. I knew I wanted to get out long before I actually started getting out. Because every time I binged, my immediate response was to hate myself and restrict. That was all I knew. By the time I even started to make a bit of progress on breaking that pattern, I had achieved enough real healing to understand that my restriction days had been a part of what led me down this hellish path and I didn't want to go back to that. To tell you the truth, in order to truly stay away from it - because I'll be real, I do get tempted to go back to restriction from time to time - I have to remind myself that while restricting feels like it would save me, it would only be a stepping stone back into that horrible pattern that kept me so sick and felt impossible to break. And I have to choose wanting better for myself.

Now, your story may not look like mine. So I'm not sure your motivation will end up looking like mine. But what do you need for yourself in order to want better for yourself?

You say you want to do this until you are sick enough. Can I just ask you to take a moment to ask yourself, what do you think is "sick enough?" Would you really stop when you got there, or would you just keep moving the goalpost until your body gave out? Because if you're stuck thinking "I have to do this till I'm sick enough" then believe me - you are sick enough. Your struggle counts. You don't have to wait until the damage is irreversible.

Because the thing is, when you start experiencing long-term sickness as a result - GI disorders, internal organ failure, etc - your suffering will be out of your control. Eating disorders feel like you're taking control, but you're not. And as someone who suffered with chronic illness for years, let me tell you, you don't want "sick enough." I can't tell you for sure what you do want, but allow me to take a guess. Maybe you want the validation that comes from being sick enough. Maybe you want to showcase how awful it got because you want people to care, to be concerned, to validate you. You want indisputable proof that you are well and truly fucked up, that you truly were hurt by whatever it is that hurt you.

The fact is, even some people who are sick enough to be on death's door, from some chronic illness or another, never get that validation or support. Our system is fucked up like that. But understanding that also means you don't have to wait for someone else to validate how hard you struggled and how much you've suffered. You're already sick enough. You don't have to wait for it to get worse in order to deserve better. So what do you need? What do you need in order to affirm to yourself that what you've been through is real? What do you need in order to feel you deserve to get better for real? What do you need in order to keep seeking out that desire to heal even when you're triggered as hell and struggling and forget all the breakthroughs you had once made and all you want to do is say "fuck it then, I'll self-destruct" because that's addicting in its own way?

I hope you're able to seek those answers in your treatment, anon. I hope you're able to affirm to yourself that you deserve to be more well than this, and to love yourself enough to fight for it?

#long post #recovery diaries #ed recovery #ana recovery #binge eating disorder recovery #healing journey #self affirmation #self worth

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purgatory2 · 4 months

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recovery journal page,, its so terribly done in my eyes because of the mistakes but.. art doesn't have to perfect :,]

this says all bodies are worthy bodies, yet only shows afab bodies because my recovery journal is made for me! i think all bodies are worthy ofc <3

#ana recovery #body positive art #body posi things #body positvity #body positive #body neutrality #body acceptance #self love #self acceptance #recovery journey #recovery journal #art journal #ed recovery #recovery

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marylisbon44 · 1 month

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eat what you're craving. u deserve it

#2014 tumblr #girlblogging #femcel #this is a girlblog #tumblr girls #girl interrupted syndrome #cold winter #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #lana del rey #ed recovery #healing journey #recovery #mental health #the virgin suicides

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screamingish · 2 months

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I’m an art account yadda yadda I should stick to art. ANNNYWAY?! I’m officially one year into my anorexia nervosa recovery! I celebrated by baking some chocolate babka and having it for desert with my family <3 we had some Japanese curry for dinner.

#ana recovery #ed recovery #recovery is possible #recovery is worth it #healing #healing journey #food #milestone

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crustyisgettingbetter · 1 year

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Nutella makes me so nervous. It's purely a calorie thing tbh.

I used to love this as a kid! Toaster waffles with butter and Nutella, put together like a sandwich. It was good, but it made me so uncomfortable to think about, but I got distracted by family drama lol.

Then for lunch I had a Nutella banana sandwich. I used to go for peanut butter and Nutella but I just can't get myself to eat peanut butter yet. I was so anxious about the sandwich i panicked and just packed strawberries and the other part of the banana with it.

Super uncomfortable and shakey, but it did taste so good.

I fought my fear food and I did good! But I haven't beat it yet, so back in the jar this paper goes!

#fear food friday #ed recovery journey #recovery

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maxiglow · 2 months

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Realest Intentions

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chillwithnea · 5 months

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by nea | body image + manifestation 🪴 (@gardenofnea)

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feel it to heal it, loves 🍵

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kaddyssammlung · 9 months

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Where to begin

Want to know something about me?

I've been struggling with addiction since I was 14 years old.

Idk what's also important to know. I'm 36, female, a lesbian, currently single, business owner, guitarist, runner, German ( Bavarian actually), spiritually awake...

I admitted myself into psychiatry once where I was diagnosed with alcoholism and depression. I also struggled with an ED and SH. There is also CPTSD and BPD .

I've been on this journey of healing over the past few years.

I'm a childhood sa-surviror and sometimes I write about that. I have an extra trigger warning on content with sensitive topics.

And also: I love music! My current obsession is Sleep Token <3

Everything Sleep Token related I use the hashtag "Sleep Token" and also everything lore related I use "Sleep Token lyrics" .If you are interested in my lyric analysis klick here

I mostly provide content and don't reblog (if I do then it's my own stuff). I love being creative. If you feel like saying something then feel free to do so :)

Something to state these days also about Sleep Token: yes I know who they are because I wanted to know. I will not say anything or post anything that reveals their identities. If you want to know something you can DM me. So it's fair for those who don't want to know.

I have a collection of posts if you are interested in a certain topic.

Addiction (ED and Alcohol)

(C)SA / CPTSD

SH/ BPD

#mental health #healing journey #ed recovery #addiction recovery #trauma recovery

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bpdohwhatajoy · 3 months

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I love tattoos so much. I’ve always loved the artistic aspect of them. But now that I have one I’m experiencing what it’s like to actually have one and although the change is hard for me (I’m autistic), I love it so much. I think body modification is really important for the healing of traumatized people. For my entire life, I have felt robbed of autonomy. Getting a tattoo helped me regain some autonomy. I got something I specifically came up with the concept for. I chose where to get it on my body. The spot I chose is actually an area I’m insecure about. But now when I look in the mirror instead of feel disgust, I smile. I feel like living art. I feel cool. I like my body more. I’m so excited to get more. I’m used to controlling my body through weight loss when I’m unhappy with it, but I like this a lot more. I don’t have to force myself to awful physical places to love myself (which isn’t even love. ED body love is incredibly hollow and never satisfying). I can love myself through adding art to myself. I can love myself in a new way that wasn’t previously available to me out of fear.

#ryan.txt #recovery journey #healing #tattoos #ed recovery #self love

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