5.13 // 5.17
[Image Description: 4 gifs of Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1. The first and third gifs are from season 5, episode 13 and are in black and white.The second and fourth gifs are from season 5, episode 17.
Gif 1: Eddie, his face tear stained, looks down, shaking his head, his lips trembling after having just said, “I pulled them out.”
Gif 2: Eddie shakes his head, sighing; with one hand braced one the wall of his bedroom as he puts on tape with the other. He looks contemplative as he says, “Taking responsibility for something he didn’t do wrong? That’s a bad road to go down.”
Gif 3: Eddie sobs as he says, “But I didn’t save them.” and looks to the side, visibly distressed.
Gif 4: Eddie pauses in what he’s doing, looking somber, and says, “You lose sight of things, of who you are."
Buddie 518 meta
I have to admit, we talked about Taylor breaking Buck’s trust, we considered the implications of her breaking the story on Chim and Hen (possibly putting them in harm’s way), I even took into account that Greenway might use her story to try and counter the actions taken against him from a legal position. But I have to admit, I did not think of the implications for Buck at work. TBH, it’s not fair that there would be any, but Taylor’s worked with off the record sources before, she must have been aware that the world is unfair in this manner, and that her actions could jeopardize Buck’s work. Now her words about hating for things to get messy for him at the fire station in 516 land even more of a punch. She knew, and she still went ahead. She knew, and she still didn’t think of giving him even just the benefit of a warning. This season’s B/T storyline started with Taylor ignoring Buck and his feelings for the sake of obsessing over the news in 501 and it ends in the same spot. It was always spelled out for us. ~
Eddie made me so proud in this episode. We already knew that he was progressing and healing, but it was damn fantastic to see him go from where he was in 511, at his lowest, snapping at Bobby, to getting to a place where Eddie could thank his captain for the help, which included exactly the thing for which Eddie had snapped back then.
The ending of these scenes was even similarly shot, with Bobby down below in the living room, looking up at Eddie (though in the finale, the distance between them is physically smaller). More than that, after the low point of 511, we go to Eddie starting to improve his r/s with his father in 517 and then on to him coming full circle and being able to (unknowingly) help save his father figure in this ep by thanking Bobby for being saved by him. This is the stuff that keeps us all watching, isn’t it? ~
I just have to say how happy I am that Buck finally realized he gets to walk away from a relationship if it doesn’t suit him. It was so clear he had such a fear of being left, that he ended up clinging to someone who he didn’t really love and didn’t make him happy. Realizing through his talk with Maddie in 513 that that’s what he’s doing, he was ready to confess to Taylor about kissing someone else, ready to take her wrath or a break up, but he still wasn’t in a place where he felt like it was okay for him to break up the relationship. That it was okay to walk away even if the other person was willing to stay. That sometimes, it’s the right thing to leave. He told Eddie it was in 502, but he still didn’t fully embrace it for himself, because all he’s ever known was being the one abandoned. He couldn’t bring himself to do that to someone else. He finally knows that he’s not going to be able to suppress how he feels about Taylor choosing her job over actual people. He can’t learn to live with it. She was willing to change, but he finally grasped that something was fundamentally broken between them, and chose to end their relationship. This is why things needed more time to unfold, so he could get to this point where he gets to choose himself.
Just like Eddie had to do the same with Ana at the beginning of s5, realize that he can’t stick it out for Christopher’s sake. We’ve seen these men’s romantic journeys, so often tied closely together, and in this season, we got to see both of them having reparative experiences for what they didn’t get to do in a romantic relationship before, getting to choose themselves and their own happiness over the need to be in one at any cost. ~
The Buddie scene fixing Eddie’s walls together was something else entirely! It obviously referenced the talk they had in the classic balcony scene earlier this season in 504, where Eddie told Buck he’s the guy who likes to fix things. Clearly, this shows how much what Eddie says resonates with Buck, and to make the connection even more blatant, Buck seems to even be wearing the same hoodie! I also adored how easily Eddie can read Buck and what’s up with him, that’s another ongoing theme with these two, figuring out exactly what’s going on with their best friend even before he spills the beans. And let’s not talk about the insanely domestic nature of Buck going to Eddie when he can’t be in his own home.
Remember Buck in 407 talking about the need for his loft to be his safe space? Remember him saying in 311 he’s not really a guest in Eddie’s house? This bit cements that Buck’s safe space and home away from home is wherever Eddie is, even when the place is physically still torn apart. But this scene was also a parallel to when Buck gave Eddie a wake up call about needing to break up with his girlfriend, and the next thing we knew, Eddie did. Buck’s break up with Taylor starts here, with Eddie’s words. For real, these break ups truly were the parallel bookends of this season in so many ways (I’m not talking only about the bigger things that I addressed in the previous paragraph, I’m also talking about stuff like the color of the couples’ clothes or the choice to do both in the kitchen), it’s truly unhinged. Except it continues the perfect tradition of Buck and Eddie’s love lives being intertwined, so really, it’s in perfect alignment with what 911 has always done. And if that domesticity wasn’t enough, they were literally finishing each other’s sentences in this scene, they are officially the most married people on TV ever. And they were also so content simply to be together here? They each had their own arc to wrap up in this scene, coming to a climax in the flashes we get during the wedding. Buck has to break things off with Taylor. Eddie has to talk to Bobby and reclaim his place with the 118. Those are good, satisfying moments for them. But we see them being the softest and most content to just be in the moment despite everything else they need to take care of, it’s this scene, when they’re together, literally helping and having each other’s back (precisely as Ravi mentioned in this very ep), Buck physically helping to repair Eddie’s home after also being there for him and their family unit, Eddie being there to stir Buck in the right direction.
And this scene is included in the same ep in which Buck spells out to Maddie what true love, true romantic partnership is like. To be there with that partner when each is hitting their worst and still choose this togetherness over and over again, just like we see the amnesia couple do in this ep. We already knew Buddie have been there for each other through the worst and lowest points in their lives, but this scene literally depicted that and their choice of their togetherness in the most perfect, wholesome way. If Buddie are not true love, it just doesn’t exist. ~
Speaking of the amnesia couple being at their lowest, but choosing each other, I just had to add in this one last, small detail about them. They begin and then they also start over by agreeing to go out and eat together. This specific line threw me back to how Buck and Eddie began as rivals in 201, but as soon as they got to vowing to always have each other’s back, meaning once they agreed to start over, Eddie asked Buck and Bobby to go and grab something to eat together. It may not seem that romantic, since he also invited Bobby along, but it stood out as being more romantically coded when Eddie repeated the gesture in 313, at roughly the same time he was thinking of maybe starting over, begin dating again, as is implied by his talk with Chim in that ep. ~
I don’t write Madney meta despite loving them, so I kinda got out some of my love for Chim, Maddie and Madney by posting this. However, I do have to point out that one of the ways in which we can tell they're destined to get back together is that neither one of them was very happy with the idea of dating others. Kind of like how we’ve never really seen either Buck or Eddie truly embrace each other’s girlfriends. Just think of how Karen is embraced by Bathena and Chim. Or David became a part of Michael’s gang together with Bobby. Partners on this show are also a part of this extended family, but Buddie’s external Love Interests never became that to their boyfriend’s best friend, they either remained far removed from them or showed active signs of unspoken dislike, the biggest case in point being Eddie with Taylor. These men aren’t fans of the idea that their partner is dating others, either. TBH, they don’t seem to be fans of dating others themselves, given how awkward the Eddie and Ana as well as the Buck and Taylor relationships have been. ~
Oh, but apparently I’m not totally done with Madney related comparisons, because hey, I pointed out Buck was their truth-teller back in 208. He takes that role upon himself again in the s5 finale, trying to imply to Chim that Maddie still has feelings for him. This is lovely in itself, but it also took me back to when Buck first did this, and how it was paralleled with Maddie being Buck and Eddie’s own truth-teller in 204, when she called out Buck’s crush on Eddie. ~
It was interesting to me that even though we saw Buck break up with Taylor before the ep moves on to Henren’s wedding, 911 still chose to add one more scene to truly wrap this arc up, when she returns the loft’s key to him. I just had to quietly squeal to myself, because this stands in such contrast with us all knowing Eddie has had Buck’s key since before 301, and 513 indicating clearly that Buck also has one for Eddie’s place. The show really made the key to someone’s home into the symbol of being their partner in the same season in which it reminded us that Buddie have each other’s keys. (also, my first time making one of these meta gifs myself. I hope it’s okay!) ~
I just adored that the happy ending of this season, that final moment when things slot into place and the world is a better place than it was, is when Eddie is finally back with the 118. Oh, but what made it better is that everyone on the team was so intense, everyone other than Buck. He glances over at Eddie, who’s finally there to determinedly stride along with them, and only then do we see this one singular dazzling smile on Buck’s face. Yes, everything is right with the world again at this moment, but this one smile lets us know it’s to a great degree because Buck has his partner back (as giffed here). I think 5b was great in terms of the team’s arcs, but many of the calls just weren’t quite the same without our iconic battlefield boyfriends. Can’t wait for them to ride together again in s6! ~
If you’ve enjoyed any of my meta posts, if you’d like to keep seeing them in the future as well, please let me know in the tags. Thank you so much for reading what I have put out and for any and all support! I’ll still be here during the hiatus and I wish us all a good time getting through it together! Also, I’m endlessly grateful to the wonderful @judsonryder and @whosoldherout, who added so much life to my meta with their dazzling gifs! xoxox
Actual Things That Actually Happened in 5B
...AKA these were actual canon things that happened in canon and not fanfiction and i still can’t fucking believe it
(there was a 5A part to this but tumblr ate it and honestly the best stuff is here anyway)
- "all this time you all thought i was a bad cook" "you were" buck and chris just casually roasting eddie and being all domestic and teasing
- "you don't have to pretend with me"
- "you need to move on" yeah just keep using this romantic coded language thanks
- absolutely INSANE camera choices in the bar scene; buck framed in light laughing and smiling, eddie's lil smile and pining eyes as he watches him from the semi-darkness??
- frank encouraging eddie to to talk someone who's lived through it about his trauma, then cutting to buck??
- buck's giant smile when chris calls him followed immediately by his utter panic when he realises something is wrong
- buck letting himself in. buck running to chris first. buck's hand on chris' neck
- "eddie?" with the break in his voice and the single tear
- ryan guzman emmy WHEN
- "okay buddy we'll be right out here"
- he apologised to buck for scaring chris. he apologised to BUCK for scaring their son,
- "okay. okay. what are you afraid of?" in the softest voice known to man
- "buck already took him to school, figured you could use the rest" + "we've got it taken care of"
- more insane lighting choices: eddie stepping out of the darkness to join buck in the light of his dining room
- pure husband domesticity: the soft 'hey's, buck being completely comfortable in eddie's house, eddie settling in with buck long before asking after chris because he knows chris is always safe with him
- buck MISUNDERSTOOD the ASSIGNMENT and then he GAVE EDDIE HIS HEART??????????
- just two dads taking their son to equine therapy
- eddie literally checked in with buck about chris riding the horses. wordless reassurance was asked for and buck gave it with that lil smile and half nod and eddie just?? accepted this?? a thousand words passed in this one interaction? i want to study them like BUGS
- RETURN OF THE SHOULDER BUMP
- the way buck framed that conversation PERFECTLY to make his point, KNOWING exactly what eddie would say. "yeah, i think so too" + eddie's reaction to buck's prodding being so much softer and more open than when frank did the EXACT same thing???
- "that started with you" and eddie's half smile yeah i'm still crying about it
- eddie talking with may about not knowing you really want to be and staying somewhere you feel safe and trying to figure things out and just??? yet another queer coded conversation, thank u
- BAMF eddie diaz: the Return feat. sexily applying sternal rubs, sexily carrying men over one's shoulder, sexily speaking into walkie talkies, sexily announcing dispatch is on fire
- "eddie, you're with buck", "buckley and I -" "buck!", more wordless communication, husbandly banter, working seamlessly (and on the same side!) together, "you guys should take this show on the road"
- *buck's gf and the woman he kissed are in the middle of a confrontation* buck: i Do Not See It, but hey eddie sure looks great i'm gonna give him all my attention and pull flirtatiously on my suspenders and just generally stare at him
- even MORE husbandly adventures feat. buck being the Cutest Possible playing with dinosaur toys, giving the fondest looks, BATHED IN LIGHT YET AGAIN, gently giving eddie space to talk about his family, "they SHOULD understand", the implication he was probably going to drive them all to the airport? husband behaviour your honour
- just every single thing about eddie's trip home and the revelations about how he was always a sweet soft kid who was forced to grow up way too fast, the way he always took care of people, he felt like he was punishing himself?!? FOR WHAT EDDIE???, he wants to be better "for myself" that's growth babey i'm gonna cry about it for awhile
- "i just want to -" " -fix it?" just casually finishing each others' sentences, giving a throwback to another soft supportive conversation, WHILE in soft comfortable clothes domestically cleaning up eddie's mess together, LITERALLY building something together, Petty Eddie making an appearance as he silently encourages buck to break up with his horrible girlfriend
- "isn't that what we want? someone to have our backs?" in a BLATANT call-back to That Scene from 201 like THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING DID THIS I AM STILL IN SHOCK??????????
- buck explaining that true love means seeing someone at their worst and still wanting to try??????? buck and taylor’s breakup perfectly mirroring eddie and ana’s??? “i thought i could learn to live with it” and buck FINALLY choosing himself???
- they’re both single now but also married and just. What Is Coming Next, this entire season was so fucking unhinged and i need to eat season 6 immediately