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#eddie diaz fics
blueathens · 1 year
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(Please Don’t) Let Me Drown - Agape
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                      ACT THREE, CHAPTER TWO
SONG: How To Save A Life by The Fray QUOTE: “Some firefighter you are, aren’t you meant to be doing the saving? We could die out here.”
TW: Drowning, Slight Mention of Suicide,
A/N: Not read through or checked!
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Masterlist//Agape Masterlist
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Drowning: When victims eventually submerge, they hold their breath for as long as possible, typically 30 to 90 seconds. After that, they inhale some water, splutter, cough, and inhale more. Survivors say there is a feeling of tearing and burning sensation in the chest as water goes down into the airway. Then that sort of slips into a feeling of calmness and tranquillity. That calmness represents the beginnings of the loss of consciousness from oxygen deprivation, which eventually results in the heart stopping and brain’s death.
Kasey was drowning, and it wasn’t at all like the stories.
She remembers one of her old mates – Trey Malik – trying to explain what drowning felt like after he experienced it mere minutes ago, she recalls her army jacket around his shoulders providing him warmth after she dragged him out from the river, she recollects the memory of his shivering body and she remembers watching him instead of holding him, he didn’t want to be held, he insisted on being okay, he just needed a moment to catch his breath then they could continue their mission. He was the one who started the conversation, she knew she didn’t want to hear it, but he didn’t stop, he told her it was important for her to know, important for her to listen to the experience so she knows how to get herself out of it if the time came.
She remembers laughing at that, stating that she will never get herself in that position.
She wasn’t going to drown.
She is even reminded of making a passing joke of how he didn’t get out by himself, she did, she helped him. So if she ever got herself in a position where she was drowning, then the only way to be saved is by someone else.
Trey shrugged his shoulders and mutters a “you never know” before telling her everything he experienced not long ago.
Instead of hearing of a horror story, she was enlightened by a tale that almost came across as a love song towards drowning, Kasey even recognises a sense of comfort washing over his face, one that someone would have when reliving a childhood memory, but instead he was talking about drowning, talked about it as if it was an old friend that gave him such a loving hug, a hug that he has desired for so long, a hug he just needed.
Kasey thinks that was the first time she has ever felt such a bubble of sadness coming from Trey, she recalls feeling closer to him at that moment as she too carried such a heavy heart of sadness that any danger that came her way, she would greet it as if it was a friend, but hearing Trey like that made her hate the world more, because why on earth would our planet be so cruel to such a lovely, good person? He doesn’t deserve to hold such sadness, he didn’t deserve to be out here away from those he cares for, he didn’t deserve to find comfort within drowning.
He didn’t deserve that.
And that made Kasey hate the world more, and it made her want to hug him and take him to a different world, far from this one, a world where he can find peace within the cool air on a spring’s morning, it’s what he deserved at least.
But he didn’t want that, she knew that by the way he talked, by the way he looked, he didn’t want to be saved, perhaps he couldn’t be saved, or maybe he just wasn’t ready yet and when he was then the only one who could help him would be himself.
And that was difficult for Kasey to process, and she thinks she never will truly process it because to her, she can save people, she can help, but Trey was never the person she could, and that’s just a fact that she thinks she’ll never come to terms with.
Perhaps it was a childish thought of Kasey’s to think that she could save everyone, and that saving them would even make her feel better about herself because maybe it’s too late for her to save herself, but it’s not too late to save everyone else.
And it’s stupid, she knows this, she knows it because she’s always the one saving everyone yet there will never be someone to save her…she’s the second choice, maybe not even that, maybe not even the third choice. But Kasey has to save everyone, she just has to, but when she needs saving then no one has to save her, no one chooses to save her, and then she gets to the point where it’s too late to be saved, and she just simply gives up, but to everyone she seems selfish even though she never got anything in return.
She always carried this thought that she was replaceable, that if someone wanted to, they could throw her away like a dead flower, that once stood tall and blossomed under the sunlight, but now only fallen petals remained, and who would even want to keep a wilting flower when there was a sweeter one just outside?
She overthinks it a lot, she overthinks how replaceable she is, and how most of her friends would now walk past her and not give her a second look because to them, she was just a stranger, but to her, she was the stranger that carried all the memories.
She wondered if Trey ever felt the way she did, maybe just once, maybe the currents made him feel wanted, maybe he felt unreplaceable within it, perhaps, just for a moment, he did feel okay, and he was truly telling her how lovely it was. Kasey pondered on this idea, but to her, nothing, absolutely nothing, could make her think drowning could possibly be relaxing.
And if Trey did truly think this, then Kasey began to hate the world even more.
He told her drowning was more peaceful than he could ever imagine, he said maybe he thought that as anything could be more peaceful than fighting in a war, he enjoyed the tranquil silence and the feeling that he was floating on clouds. For a moment he thought he was being gently lifted to the gates of heaven, he thought it was his time to go, and he even thought that drowning wasn’t the worst possible way to go.
Trey found it peaceful, but Kasey was in so much pain.
She was panicking. She barely could see anything in front of her. The water felt like it was suffocating her, filling her lungs and her throat, and causing her to choke. She couldn’t tell if her eyes were open or not, the confusing and disoriented of shattered light through water that shouldn’t be here – that shouldn’t be washing through the city – it shouldn’t be here – if it was where it was supposed to be then Kasey would be able to breathe, to see, to know where she was. But she couldn’t.
Kasey couldn’t breathe. Kasey couldn’t see. And Kasey couldn’t tell which way was up and which way was down.
Her body grew tired of fighting the currents.
Trey told her it was comforting.
But Kasey could recall watching Trey panic before he stilled, and perhaps he didn’t remember that moment, doesn’t remember her fighting against the currents to reach him as she watches him thrash around, yelling, screaming her name. Maybe he didn’t remember that, maybe he didn’t want to remember it, perhaps he just wanted to remember the moment of calmness before you drown. Where you no longer kick or scream, and your lungs don’t have that agonising and burning pain where it feels like it will explode in any second. Where your mind goes blank and there’s just this gentle humming left in your ears – and it’s almost like the lullaby your mother would hum to get you to sleep, it almost becomes…nice.
Comforting.
It feels like a much-needed hug. That too is comforting.
Perhaps this is what death is like, Kasey wondered, perhaps after all of this chaos, death is just around the corner to hand you that certain comfort you have been lacking your entire life. But if this was dying, then why didn’t she see her life flash before her eyes? And why does she feel something other than the cold water that was swallowing her up?
Why could she feel a hand gripping her shirt tightly before pulling her up with them, and the moment her face breaks the surface she takes her first real breath since being under.
She coughed, choked, and spat out filthy, salty water. Her eyes brunt as she repeatedly blinked, once her vision cleared up slightly she noticed the familiar features that belonged to no other but her brother. He was gripping onto the side of a fire truck whilst also holding her as tight as he could – if anything he was holding onto Kasey more than he was gripping the side of the truck, because if he had to lose something it would be the surface of safety and not his sister – he won’t let her go.
Despite the burn within her eyes, she noticed her twin’s struggle, and with numb limbs she pushes herself forwards to also grip onto the side of the truck. TK’s other hand moved to hold the truck too as he pulls himself up, watching as Kasey did so too before collapsing the moment her body made contact with the top of the vehicle. She may not have been drowning under the currents anymore, but it sure did feel like she was drowning on top of this fire truck, she still felt trapped, still unable to do something as simple as breathing. And now instead of hearing a near comforting hum, she hears TK screaming her name before everything went dark.
Once Kasey asked Trey if there was anyone waiting for him at home, waiting on news of his return, or perhaps praying they’ll never get that letter along with a military officer and a Champlin at their doorsteps. He told her that he has a dog waiting on his return, and his father, and he hopes his older brother too, he said they had a complicated relationship, and that was all there was to it, he even said his grandmother would be waiting.
She asked what was the name of his dog, he responded with “Goldfish,” and Kasey remembers chuckling softly at that.
Trey asked if there was anyone waiting for her and Kasey wished she could say yes, but the sad fact was that she couldn’t, she didn’t have anyone.
She fell out with her family before coming here, her own mother never cared much for her, her twin brother, she believed resented her, her father was always doing his own thing, she doesn’t think he would be waiting, she wasn’t a good enough daughter for someone to wait at home for. And along with her twin brother, she knows her best friend hated her, he wouldn’t be waiting for, god he probably be wishing for her not to return. She’s exhausting, she knows this, and she even thinks that she doesn’t want to return home either, she’s too troubled, she can’t be saved, she didn’t have anyone, and she couldn’t hurt them anymore…
After a long silence, she told them him no – then she gave her small explanation after seeing his curious eyes, she didn’t say much, she never did, she never could, but still she tried.
Trey told her none of it was her fault, and she could never believe him, not then and not now.
Sometimes she could still feel the hug Trey gave her after that, Kasey hasn’t felt that vulnerable before, not for a long time at least, nor has she been held so lovingly, so comfortingly, in such a long time. Kasey thought she was going to break down in his arms, but she didn’t, but she knew she could’ve though.
Kasey wondered if that was what drowning felt for Trey, but instead of drowning within water, she was drowning within a hug.
It was peaceful.
It was comforting.
And it was nice.
Kasey began to slowly wake up, her head in TK’s lap as he combs his fingers through her hair. Her first thought was trying to remember where she was, but that all came back in flashes. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes, before opening them once more to see TK’s chin. She then wondered if anyone else she knew got caught up in this, and if they did, were they okay?
Maybe it was a good thing that she didn’t know that Buck and Christopher wasn’t so far away, them too stuck on a fire truck as they helped casualties on board. Cause if she knew then she would have forced her tired body to search for them, to help them, to make sure they were okay.
Kasey would have to make sure they were safe because they were her fam–
Kasey sat up, taking in her surroundings to only notice that there were a few more people on board, all frightened and cold and TK gave her a worrying look, a look that almost begged her to do something, to save them, to just have a plan. But for once, Kasey had nothing as she looked out and around the flooded city, seeing nothing but water and broken homes and objects.
“You helped them?” Kasey muttered as she continued to look out.
“Yeah,” TK whispers. “You were out for a bit so had to improvise.”
“Sorry,” she whispers back.
She feels his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently as if he ushering her to look at him, and she does, she turns her head, looking over her shoulder with glassy, down, eyes.
“You have nothing to be sor–”
“Your brother said you’re around here. And that he’s a firefighter out in Texas. He mentioned that you were highly ranked in the military…suppose you have the best water training round here?” Kasey hums as her arm covers her face, blocking the sun as she looks at the man who spoke up.
“Did he now?” She purses her lips. “Suppose he mentioned I’m a firefighter too?” The man nods. “Cool.”
“So what do we do?” The man looks around at the other casualties.
“Nothing,” Kasey mumbles, “we can’t do anything – we’ll just have to wait for someone to come and rescue us.”
The man scoffed. “Some firefighter you are, aren’t you meant to be doing the saving? We could die out here.”
Kasey turns around, brows raised, studying the man, hand pressed against her hip, “Oh, I’m sorry Gary, I’ll just whip out the boat I’ve been carrying in my pocket all day and drive you all home in time for dinner.”
He scowled at her. “It’s Raphaël–”
“Some will be in much worst conditions than us, at least we’re safe, that’s what is important, no?” Kasey turns to look back out at the city filled with water. “I’ll try and find a way to get rescued quicker but can’t make no promises here.”
“Kas…” TK’s gentle voice came from behind, his hand squeezing her elbow gently, “you’re bleeding.” As if those words triggered some part in her brain, she feels a sudden sharpness coming from under her shirt, lifting it up she glances at the bruises littering her abdominal and an awful, long cut beginning from the top of her ribs down to her waist.
“I’m fine,” she insists, and she thoughts of this to be true, she’s had worst, and she continued as if it was nothing before, so to her this was fine, all of this was fine, she just wanted to go back to her home – well outside of her apartment, in her car, and just fall asleep…
…she just wanted some peace again.
Kasey lays down to peer over the truck, hands coming into contact with the open window, her fingers pressed against the inside framing and the metal framing of the inside to pull her further over so she can have a better look of the inside of the truck they were on. “You think the radio works?” She questions her brother who she knew was standing right by her, silently watching her body tense from the pain of moving around.
“Probably damaged from the water,” TK responds, ushering Kasey to stand as he hears her quietly groan from moving once again. “You’re going to tire yourself out, Kas, just stop for a moment, please.”
Kasey grimaces as she comes to a stand, “I just want to get us all out of here.”
“I know you do – but hurting yourself more in the process isn’t going to help anyone.”
Kasey thought she was seeing things at first when she saw TK’s right hand shake before he reached out to hold the top of her shoulder, she truly did thought her eyes were tricking her, but with the fear and worry twisted in his eyes, Kasey knew she wasn’t.
He wasn’t scared of her, she knew this, but for her? Yes.
He acted as if she was a fragile piece of artwork that’s been locked behind glass for centuries and now he’s the first to touch it, and he doesn’t even know if a simple brush of his fingers would have it crumbling, but Kasey wasn’t going to break, she knew this, she wasn’t damaged, she wasn’t going to crumble.
Kasey could hold herself longer now, she wasn’t nineteen anymore, she wasn’t nineteen who clung onto Trey Malik as if was the embodiment of air, the reason she could finally breathe again, she wasn’t nineteen no more who was desperate to be held.
Touch wasn’t a weakness for her no more, she gets held on many of occasions, Buck and Kit were the main sources of it, they were big huggers, always have been, physical touch has always been their thing and not fearing their touch proved to the young firefighter that she wasn’t desperate for it anymore, she was held enough to not whimper at the feeling of such comforting warmth no more.
But TK’s always been like this with her, of course they used to play wrestle when they were younger, pull one another’s hairs, the reason for some of the scars on their body after one pushed the other too hard off from the sofa causing the other to be in A&E. But still TK’s always had an element of softness with her, admitting once it’s because he doesn’t want to cause any harm to her, he tolerated a form of guilt growing up whenever he found her quietly ruffling through the medical basket (from the top of their fridge) late at night in their teen years, and he always ushered her to sit on the counter as he helped with the injuries she carried home with her that night, always being the one who has to listen to her holding back the cries of pain when his fingers brushes over a wound accidently, or whenever he began to stich her up as she insisted for no hospitals – she hates them – and that they can do it at home.
He was the one who usually saw her injured, and he was the one who stayed up until she came home just to help her, listening to her apologies for thinking she woke him again, when really she never did, he just awaits for her to make sure she returns home safely, even at his worst he still continued to make sure she came home. And then there was the guilt, the guilt that he gained growing up, watching her flinch at loud noises, especially from arguments, the way her body tensed whenever he tried to help with her injuries as that was the only way she could silently express her pain without waking anyone up, and he was the one who listened as she talked down on herself, thinking no one was there to hear, but he always did, he always would.
TK always wanted her to see him as something she could cling onto whenever she felt like the world was against her once again, but as they become older he knew he was barely that for her, in fact no one was that for her, but she was always that person for everyone else, especially for him.
And every day, TK wishes that Kasey one day finds someone who would happily sit in the dark with her, hand holding hers, as they distract her with random facts or how their day was, and only moves to turn on that switch to guide her out from the dark and welcoming her back into the light.
TK thinks she’s secretly back in the dark, actually he knows she was, and it’s sad to think that she still hasn’t find a comfort person yet – someone who will just help her when she’s down, to let her know she was enough, to just hold her.
TK was guilty when it came to Kasey, he wished they had a better life together, they deserved it, well he would like to think that they did, they were – are – good people, and that’s got to count for something, right? TK has questioned time from time if, in another parallel universe, they got the life they deserve, that they got to be the siblings they should have been, not the ones that were too damaged, not those ones, but the ones who were just happy, the ones who lived nearer together just so they could meet up easier.
Perhaps in that other life they be working together, living that dream they had when they were so young. Perhaps everything was okay in their lives, and they got to be the siblings they deserved to be in this life.
TK knew one day though he wouldn’t be so guilty, he knew those injuries he helped to cover up weren’t his fault, but at times whenever he accidently pressed too hard against a bruise or something then his stomach would twist, and he would be overcome with a sudden sickness all because he was reminded with the fact that he could never protect Kasey.
He thinks that’s what he was most guilty for, in the end it was never about the accidental touches of aiding her injuries, it was always the fact that he could never protect her, Kasey was always doing her own thing, she was always in some form of trouble, she was always someplace else, she was out of his reach, and TK couldn’t ever protect her like he wished he could, but she did for him, and she always will.
But they weren’t kids no more, they were now nearing the age of twenty-five and now, TK wonders, now it could be the time he could protect Kasey, bring her out from the darkness, and to just let go of this guilt, and then maybe, just maybe they could be each other’s safety net, they would feel brave enough to come to each other whenever they needed to, maybe, just maybe, he could play the role of an older brother – older by only fifteen minutes – and just simply protect her, even if it just as simple as protecting her from herself, in the sense that she doesn’t hurt herself more, that she doesn’t do her thing where she doesn’t think of herself, that for once she could just take a moment, take a breath, and think on the situation with him.
Her hands once again found home on her hips, face scrunching as a finger graze the wound and she ignores the look TK gave her.
“Let me check it out–”
“God, I’m so glad I didn’t take my car here.” Kasey mutters, looking up to the sky, as she changes the subject. “Or I would–”
“Lose your house?” Kasey head snaps towards his smug appearance, eyes narrowing at him, and her mouth itches to respond; but she doesn’t. “I’m not wrong am I?”
“I will throw you overboard.”
“No you won’t,” TK smirks, “you’re too nice to do that. Besides,” he then raises his shoulders before dropping them just as quick, “you’ll miss me.”
Kasey hums before her eyes glances over at everyone else for a quick moment before she steps closer to her brother to quietly talk with him. “We got to try and find some rescue for them soon though, the first wave of a tsunami is never the worst,” her eyes flickers back over to the group, maybe about seven other people, all adults, “even if that means we’re our own rescue team.”
“Kasey, that’s to risky and in your condition–”
“Forget about my injury, I’ll live, okay? We can use the hose and the things around us to try and find somewhere better, perhaps find a proper rescue team or even a hospital.” She ran a hand through her hair. “We don’t know how long rescue will be, we don’t know how much more damage is out there, and whilst we’re at it we can rescue more people.”
“You said that the only thing we can do is wait.”
She sighs, “I only said that as I didn’t have time to think of anything else.”
Now TK sighs as he looks around desperately, hand holding the back of his head, and he balances out their options within his mind. “TK, it’s better if we move than sit around, we’re only getting colder here.”
“I know, I know.” He turns his head to now look at the group, they’re all sitting around close to one another to try and warm the other arm, but most were still shivering. “How long you think we got?”
“Until the second wave?” Kasey questions, and he nods, “I don’t know, man.” She now faces the group, making small movement to get closer to them. “Is anyone injured at all?” Kasey grimaces slightly that she hasn’t even asked them how they were yet.
“No one’s injured, Kas,” TK answered. “I asked whilst you were out and–” He stops when he notices a sudden rush in the water. No, no, no, no, not now, please not now, TK silently begs.
He thinks he hears Kasey tell people to get down, his mind was no longer here, he just thinks about the second wave, and the second wave only. He thinks he hears screams, and he thinks he hears Kasey trying to calm them down, but he doesn’t know what she says, instead his hand grabs the hose, pulls on it tightly and his eyes focuses on it unwrapping, he turns, gestures it towards Kasey who pulls on it too, ushering everyone to grab ahold of it, that maybe if they were lucky enough they would still be attached to this fire truck at the end of it.
There’s were screams as the second wave hit, it was nothing like the waves that lapped the shore every minute of every day. It was a wall of filthy, cold, and powerful water. The water had no gentle softness to it, instead it had no thought, no motion, and no hesitation as it destroys everything in it’s path just to hit their targets. Within moments, TK was breathing the air, and just as he took a deep breath he feels frigid foamy fingers grabbing a hold of him.
It was their dear old friend, the ocean.
The water was once a great fear of TK’s when he was younger, he thinks it started when he was three where his uncle thought it was a good idea to take him onto a waterslide. They went down a long, twisting concealed one but as they came to the end his uncle didn’t let him go, instead he pulled him right under the chemical water with him. TK doesn’t remember it fully, he just remembers a glimpse of a waterslide and a flash of memory that showed him under the pool’s water, and every now and then, when he was younger, he could feel that sudden tightness within his chest.
TK tried to stay away from the depths of water from then on, always panicking whenever his family tried to bring him into the pool with them, but he wasn’t having any of it.
He remembers a wedding at the age of five, and the same uncle who created his fear of water was teaching his sister how to surf in the far distance whilst he was with his mother taking photos, he recalls that she told him not to wander off, but he does so anyways, he walks down the pier, wanting to see how much panic the ocean can truly offer him, he was fine with just staring at it first, he then decided maybe to sit down in the opening between the two broken fences, but instead his foot somehow slipped and he fell into the water, his mother jumps in to save him within seconds, cause little TK didn’t know how to swim, nor did he know how to breathe under the sea.
At five, he learnt how much fear the ocean has to offer.
Up to the age of ten, TK would stay on the beach building sandcastles with his family, but his eyes were always distracted by his sister and his uncle out on the waves; surfing. His ears always listened to the way his father complained every day and how he wished Gwen’s brother didn’t teach Kasey on how to surf, he didn’t understand the problem, it wasn’t like Kasey was afraid of water so why would it be a problem if she enjoyed the feeling of the water crashing over her every time she fell off her surfboard? She seemed to be laughing each time her face breaks the surface and then off she went back onto her surfboard to catch another wave.
TK longed to surf with his sister, but he never did, not even when he overcame his fear, Owen truly wasn’t having it, he couldn’t have both kids learning to surf, he couldn’t let it happen again.
So at the age of seven TK stopped learning how to surf among the safety of the sands, he never took another board out from the stands and tried to learn, to mimic everything Kasey did out in the sea, his fingers never brushed the sands the same since seeing how furious his father was after TK stated he would surf with Kasey one day, he never thought about learning to surf one day again.
At the age of ten, TK learnt how to swim, Kasey was adamant about it, she said it was time for him to overcome his fears and learn how to swim because what if you fall in again and no one was there to save you? What would you do then? It was a brutal honest truth that TK never wanted to know, but deep down he knew he had to learn, had to overcome. Because what if he did one day fall into a body of water and there was no one around to save him? He wouldn’t know how to get out of that situation, he would be panicking more as he had no experience in even swimming.
One of Kasey’s friends had a pool in their back garden, it was quite odd to ten-year-old TK considering they lived in New York City, but he never questioned it. So, every Tuesday, after school, they would learn how to swim for an hour in Kasey’s friend pool whilst her friend was with Gwen learning the piano.
Once he reached his teenager years TK wasn’t afraid of water no longer, and he thought of himself as a confident swimmer too. But still, whenever they found themselves at the beach, TK stayed on the beach, becoming familiar with the sands once again whilst he watches his sister out on the waves, he did still wish to be out there with her, but his fingers never touched a board, no, because maybe he wasn’t afraid of water anymore but seeing how scared, how angry their father was whenever he hears about Kasey talking about surfing, made him never want to feel what it was like when the waves were beneath you.
“Buck!”
That was the first thing both Strands heard as they tried to come back to their surroundings, both could still feel the re-enforced plastic in their hands and they heard some groans around them, perhaps they were alright, perhaps everyone was able to stay –
“Buck!”
Kasey pulls herself across the top of the fire truck, fingers pressing against the side as she grimaces at the pressure against her injuries, once her head hit the small bump that was on the top of the fire truck, gesturing that she reached the side of it, she hesitantly looked over the top to see who was yelling such a familiar name.
Her heart was heavy, wishing it wasn’t someone she knew, but the name, the voice, it was so–
“Buck?!”
Kasey blinks as she narrows her eyes at the blurry figure in the water, a yellow stripped top she thinks they’re wearing and they’re resting against the side of what she would say, a wooden plank and –
Oh god.
Oh, no, no, no.
“Christopher!” Kasey yells, voice strained from her previous yells for everyone to get down, strained from the amount of water she thinks she accidently inhaled and –
“Christopher!” She calls again and she was on her feet, diving into the water with no hesitation. It was Eddie’s boy – it was Christopher – it was her sweet Christopher, and he was yelling for her best mate and–
The water was still deep in the area they were in, not yet washed out back to sea like she was hoping it would, so she fought against the water that was still rushing through the destruction and she doesn’t stop until she reaches a trunk of a tree that was surprisingly still standing tall, with a heavy breath she awaits for a second as the plank of wood Chris was keeping himself up with passes by, and when it did she quickly grabbed him and pulled him tightly towards her.
Her arms were firmly around him as she takes a step back, her right hand was cupping the back of his head and her eyes were furrowed shut as she just lets him cling onto her, his fingers twisting into the back of her shirt, gripping it tightly, afraid to just disappear again.
“I got you; I got you, love.” She rushes out. “You’re gonna be okay kid, I’ve got you now, I’ve got you.”
Christopher blinks into the shoulder of the women he was so familiar with, and his fingers pressing into her back even more at the realisation it’s her – he’s going to be okay as she’s got him now and oh my word it’s –
“Kasey?”
Oh, and how her stomach fell at the sound of his weak, tired, and quiet voice, no, god, no, why did he of all people had to be caught out in this.
“Oh, baby,” she utters gently, she now stands in the gap behind the tree, the water wasn’t so strong or deep there, so she was able to rest and look at Chris properly as she stood there whilst she thought on how to get them back to the fire truck. “What are you – where’s your glasses?”
“I-I,” he stutters, stumbling over every other word as he speaks with her, “I lost them. I lost Buck. He was helping and-and I fell…I lost Buck and–”
She hushes him gently, brushing his hair back with her hand before her hand falls to lay softly against his cheek where her thumb brushes away the fallen tears. “Oh, honey,” she frowns as she tries to act calm with him, but she wasn’t, she couldn’t be, Buck was out there too, and she has no idea if he was okay, and he would be worried sick because Chris wasn’t with him any longer and he wouldn’t know that Chris was safe – that he was with her now. “We’ll find Buck and your glasses, let’s just get you back to the truck.”
The water was still by the time she calmed Chris down by the tree and it meant she could take them back to the truck much easier than it would have been earlier.
“You remember TK, right Chris?” Kasey questioned as TK waved with a soft smile at the boy, throwing Kasey a worried glance, it didn’t cross TK’s mind that children would have been caught in this mess, not until he saw Eddie’s kid right in front of him, shivering in Kasey’s arms as she holds him, hands rubbing up and down his as she placed light kiss on top of his head every now and then.
Chris nods.
He remembers TK, he was Kasey’s older brother, by fifteen minutes if he remembers correctly from hearing them playfully arguing about it. TK shared a bag of sweets with him when they sat in the waiting room together whilst waiting on news about Kasey, he remembers that TK shared the same taste when it came to pick n’ mix, his father was asleep next to him, arms folded, and Chris never told him about the amount of sweets he ate that day as he listens to Owen’s – TK and Kasey’s father – stories about being a firefighter out in Texas.
So, of course he remembers the nice man that’s Kasey’s brother.
TK kneels down, hand reaching forwards to ruffle the younger boy’s curls. “What you doing out here, bud?”
“I was with Buck,” he tells TK in a quiet voice, “we went to the carnival on the pier and–”
“Buck’s here?” TK mouths to Kasey who just nods as she lays another kiss on top of Chris’ head, but she was quick to move away, tilting her head back as she let out a low hum at Chris shuffling back into her stomach, her eyes scrunches up and Chris was quick to turn around to try and find out what the fuss is about.
“Kasey,” his finger presses against her chin, next to the cut his eyes has just caught sight of. “You’re bleeding.” Kasey wanted to chuckle at his worriedness about her, she was glad he didn’t catch sight on the pain she was in and that he thought it was just a cut that caused her that sudden distress that caught his attention.
“It’s nothing, kiddo,” she didn’t know there was a cut on her chin until he pointed it out, perhaps she got it when she pulled herself across the roof of the truck, perhaps it was just a graze that was only slightly bloody.
“You need a plaster.”
“I tell you what,” she begins as she adjusts him in her lap, moving him slightly away from the ache in her left leg and more onto her right leg, one of his arms where around her shoulder, fingers brushing the back of her neck, and his other hand was in his lap. “When we get to some land you can find me the best plaster for the graze.” Chris nods.
“Spider-Man ones?”
“I think that be well cool!” She grins and TK smiles as she watches the interaction in front of him. “TK?” Her brother hums. “We got to start moving, the water should be shallow enough for us to walk through now.”
“What if there’s another wave?”
“We’ll just have to hope for the best that’s this is it.”
TK nods, standing up from his crouching position to rub his hands against the wet material of his jeans before he leans forwards to pick Chris off from Kasey for a moment whilst she tells everyone that it be best if they move and try and find some help, after some glances shared between them Kasey states that they could stay on the truck if they wanted and when she finds help she’ll try and send them their way, but it be quite risky to stay on a truck that’s practically flooded.
She jumps down from the truck and into the water below, taking Chris out from TK’s arms as she brings him down into the water too, but instead of letting him go, she adjusts him into a more comfortable position for her to carry him.
TK, along with the other’s, jump down from the truck too and collectively follow the Strands and the kid on their mission to find some help.
“Perhaps we can go to the zoo together one day,” TK speaks up after walking in silence for a little too long for his liking.
“The zoo?” Kasey raises a brow at her brother who just responses with a huge grin.
“Yeah!” He’s got a sudden spring in his step. “Both of our families – you know the 126 and the 118, that cop,” TK clicks his finger as he tries to think of her name. “Athena! Athena can come and Chris obviously be coming with us and–”
“And your cop boyfriend?” Kasey smirks, forging a pain of hurt as TK slaps her shoulder, the one that was closest to him, but furthest from Christopher.
“Not my boyfriend,” TK mutters, the spring leaving his step, as he folds his arms across his chest, pouting ever so slightly.
Kasey only hums, corner of her mouth still tugged up.
“I like the zoo,” Chris jumps into the conversation.
“Oh, yeah?” TK holds his hands behind his back, his right hand wrapping round his left wrist whilst his attention is on the boy in Kasey’s arms. If he didn’t know her, he would have thought they were mother and son, that thought alone brought a kind look onto his face as he thought about one day the pair of them will find someone who loves them, and perhaps they’ll have kids with their significant others, however that be, and they would have those family days that they never got growing up, that one day they could actually be a family they deserved, start again now that Kasey was in LA and he’s started a new life in Texas – perhaps this is life giving them another chance, another go at life.
Another warm thought bubbles within TK, and that was the thought of the boy in Kasey’s arms becoming his family too, he hears the way Kasey talks about the Diaz’s, he sees how happy they have made her and how much they helped her too, and of course there was Buck, her LA best friend, but he was just like another brother to her, but Eddie – my god, Kasey deserves to have someone good like Eddie, she really does, and TK could only hope that the universe just gives her the best.
He's seen the way Eddie looks at her too, of course TK seen it, even a blind person could sense the way Eddie feels about Kasey, and usually TK would get slightly concerned whenever guys are interested in his sister due to her never having good past relationships, but Eddie, he would know she be safe with him, that she’ll be okay, that’s she’ll be happy, and god did she deserve that.
So, maybe one day, if the universe isn’t so mean, the Diaz’s will become very familiar to him and his own father, and perhaps they’ll have those BBQ nights whenever they’re down in Texas or LA. And everyone they see as family joins too, and the kids are at the end of the garden playing some imaginary game and the adults are laughing.
And they’re all just happy.
Maybe, just maybe, they get the things they deserve, because they’re all good people, and that gotta mean they deserve something good at least, right?
“What’s your favourite animal?” He questions and Chris thinks for a little while before answering –
“Lions? I like lions.”
“They’re pretty cool, aren’t they kiddo?” Kasey says as she takes in her surroundings once more, making sure she’s a step ahead of everyone just in case anything happens then she be the first to discover it.
Whilst Chris told them a little fact about lions, TK nudged Kasey’s arm before leaning closer to whisper: “why are we heading more towards the pier?”
Kasey felt her eyes widen, quickly turning her head to look at her brother. She didn’t think he’ll notice, in fact she didn’t think he’ll even know the area they were heading towards, but he did.
“We’re not going there directly–” She sighs, “I just need to see if there’s any sighting of Buck…” Kasey looks back at Chris with a fake, relaxed smile, “you said lions starts off spotty?” He nods. “I think that makes them even cooler. You know, Chris, I think you’re just like a lion – you’re really brave. The bravest person I know.”
“Really?”
“Yeah – I’m real glad your dad joined the 118, or I wouldn’t have met the coolest, bravest person out there.”
Christopher smiles brightly before burying his face into Kasey shoulder as he hugs her tightly, “I’m really glad too.”
Kasey was surprised by not stumbling across anyone else, she wonders if rescue has been close by and that everyone else has been rescued within the area, perhaps they just missed a rescue boat, but Kasey hasn’t heard no engine, or any noise expect their movements through the waters and the quiet chatter amongst the group.
She thought all was rescued till she heard a scream for help coming from a building to the right up ahead, someone was trapped under some of the damage from the buildings and trees and Kasey purses her lips as she looked around quickly, checking that the area they were in was fine for everyone to wait within for a few seconds whilst she goes to help the person.
Coming to a quick judgement, she hands Christopher over to TK and Christopher almost calls for her, begging her not to go, to not leave him, he lost Buck the same way too, he can’t lose Kasey too.
Kasey brushes back his hair as she stands in front of the pair. “Hey, kiddo, you’re gonna be okay. I’ll just need to help that person over there,” she jerks her thumb behind her shoulder to the person who was crying for help. “And then I’ll be right back.” And with that she rushed – as quickly as she could with the waist-high water – towards the one in danger.
“Hey! Hey! I’m here to help,” she offers out a hand, “I’m firefighter Strand of the 118, I just need you to tell me if anything hurts whilst I take this weight of you, okay?” She heard a chocked out okay from them before she began to push and pull a mixture of debris off from the stranded person.
The water was raising.
No – no, not again, please not again.
She was pushing it off quicker now, and the second her hand grabbed the person underneath and pulled them up to their feet, the third wave came, and Kasey could hope that this was the last one as she pushes the stranger to the wall and held the pair of them for coverage.
Kasey was no stranger to metaphoric drowning; she was so used to her heart anchoring her down. Weighing her down to the point that she could no longer move. She was so used to the cold feeling, the loneliness, the pain, it all felt normal for her now.
Kasey knew most would be familiar with the sense of metaphoric drowning, but most usually were able to break the surface, catch their breath, learn how to breathe again. Kasey thinks she’s been under for too long now, she doesn’t think she’ll ever meet the light that dances across the surface.
Kasey would like to think that TK was beginning to learn how to breathe again after New York, and Kasey is thankful for it as TK deserved to rest, he deserved his happiness, he was a good person, he didn’t deserve to drown.
On his way to Texas, Kasey recalls a private phone call between the pair, it was short as she was on her shift, but in the call, TK begs her to come to Texas, to fix their family, to mend it, to rebuild it, he tells her he would have never gotten better for himself, he only did for her, dad, and mum, and he tells her, with the quietest of voices that he needed her, he needed his sister, and he begs for her to come live with them in Texas, they can live out their dream on being firefighters together, but Kasey told him no, she couldn’t, she may have an alright relationship with their father and a strong relationship with TK, but she knew if she ever lived with them then it would just destroy her more, her chances of ever seeing the surface would vanish in a blink of an eye and she would just have to befriend the ocean floor.
She could live with TK, she knew she could, and hearing his broken voice over the phone made her want to drop everything and come and live with him, but her and their father didn’t see eye-to-eye all of the time, they were better than her and Gwen, but that wasn’t enough, that wasn’t enough, none of it was enough – despite wanting to be there for TK, she knew living with them wasn’t going to do her no good, so she declined.
She told him she’ll visit when she can and she’ll always be in LA if he needed, and she suppose she just has to continue watching him live his life through the photographs he sends, and the calls he makes, and she’ll just have to watch him from the distance like she always have.
Maybe in another life they could have gotten what they deserved as siblings.
But in this one they grew up together with different memories and experiences from their childhood. The pair were prodigy children but love for Kasey has always been contingent. Unlike TK, who was seen as the child who could do no wrong, Kasey was the burnout child, the troublemaker, and she was just too difficult for them.
In her childhood bedroom there were many sport trophies in which TK, Kit, and Vanessa watched her win (most of them), Owen tried to watch her win as many as he possibly could and Gwen…well, when she came it was clear she never wanted to be there.
Kasey wore the title of ‘disappointment’ with the most honour though. It was a common word that was thrown at her, the phase “you won’t be anything” followed closely behind. And despite her telling everyone she was fine, no one would truly understand the weight of her families words. TK heard the fights, but that didn’t mean he understood the way Kasey felt about their family, he didn’t have to live up to their family expectations, and he didn’t have to listen to the constant reminders from their mum of how much she has sacrificed to get him there, and that everyone is counting on him – no, TK never knew what that side of the family was like, that was what Kasey always saw and heard. He heard the proudness, but she heard the disappointments, the “you’re just not good enough.”
TK was never the one who threw up before every game in his sophomore year, no, that was Kasey. Kasey, the one who had to sit in the car listening to her mum scream at her if she lost, or worst, they just sat in silence. Whenever Gwen came to watch Kasey play, coincidentally Kasey’s team lost, it was as if she was their bad luck charm, or perhaps it was the way she made Kasey so nervous to the point she couldn’t concentrate properly because she wanted to show her mum that she was good, that she wasn’t such a screw up, that she was good at something.
But no, whenever she came to watch they lost and it was always Kasey’s fault, the one who was to be blamed, and the one who gets told she wasn’t worth the trophies in her room.
Kasey never had a childhood, but she made sure TK did, she sacrificed everything just to make sure he didn’t ever see the side of their family she saw, that he was happy, that he’ll never experience the feeling of drowning. And she would do it again. She would. She would go though all the pain all over again as long as it ends with TK being happy.
But he would never remember that it was her who had to make microwave meals in the first few years after the divorce because Gwen was always busy with Enzo. Once she overheard that Gwen couldn’t stand being in the same house as her daughter, so Kasey took it upon herself to stay in her room for as long as possible just for TK to have the chance to have family dinners again with Gwen and now her new boyfriend, Enzo, and then when they were all in bed Kasey would eat the leftovers or find something else to eat.
She couldn’t let TK live the way she did, even as a young child she knew this, TK deserved a childhood and Kasey was fine with eating at the dining table alone every night.
Gwen blames Kasey for her and Owen’s divorce, despite it being the weight of the 9/11 incident mixed with some other personal problems, no, Kasey was apparently a massive factor in their divorce and Kasey remembers her father telling her that she could come live with him if she wanted, she would’ve said yes if it wasn’t for TK, but there was TK and she couldn’t leave him, she couldn’t do that to him, so she decided to stay – for him.
TK will never know that it was his younger sister that raised him for most of his childhood as their dad was grieving and their mum…was well, Gwen. But to TK, Kasey knew he would always remember their mum being there, and she was, in a way, she was there for him at least whenever she wasn’t around.
But TK does remember, he does remember some it, like how she was the one who taught him how to swim, when it really should have been one of their parents, but no it was his twin sister, and my god was he thankful for her.
He always has been thankful for her, even if he could never recall the extent she went for him at times due to the way she protected and shield him for that side of their family. But despite all this, Kasey knew that TK would remember the times she failed him, that she was the one to blame for him to understand the feeling of metaphoric drowning, she was the one who believed to be blamed for him starting drugs, and she was the one who left him…and that’s the main thing he’s going to remember, he wont remember how she accepted the abandonment from her mother just so TK could still have a mum, and he will never remember how Kasey sacrificed her life to make sure TK was happy. No, he’ll never know because Kasey will never tell him, she doesn’t want him to feel guilty as there was no reason to. But Kasey would do it again, she was his sister, she was meant to protect him, she felt lighter when she saw her brother happy – he deserves it, he’s a good person.
But the thing Kasey knew she’ll never be able to handle was the fact that out of everything, TK will remember how she left the most, he’ll memorise every detail of that night, and be able to relive it all the time. He’ll remember how she left, and he’ll remember how, like every disappointed child, she hid in her own shadow and drowned.
But even though she left, even though she carried the belief that TK hated her, Kasey will never know how many times TK fell asleep in her bed after she left. Kasey would never know how much TK talked to himself in her room, pretending she was there, telling her ghost that he missed her and to come back home.
She will never know that despite how she left, despite the fights, despite the disagreements, all TK ever wanted was for his little sister to come back.
Kasey never knew that even though he never responded, he kept every letter she ever sent him in those years they spent not seeing each other, in a shoebox under his bed, and how he would pull that shoebox out and re-read every letter that he was ever given by her, he even put in the letters he got from her throughout the years, even birthday cards, and he would read them all every night that she spent out at war.
All TK ever wanted was his little sister.
Now, she was under the water again, fighting against the current, and her eyes felt heavy, but she continued to fight. So fought like a maniac as she struggled to regain control, thrashing until her limbs gave out and the light above the surface drifted away, leaving her numb in the darkness. But even then, even when her body felt like giving up, she fought even more.
Finally, her face broke the surface, even if it was just for a second, she made sure to look around, the stranger wasn’t there no longer, the group wasn’t there, and nor was TK or Christopher. Kasey knew she was about to lose air again, she knew she was going to go under again, and Kasey knew she should focus on trying to get some air back into her lungs, but she couldn’t.
She couldn’t because how can someone catch another breath when all the air has just left your lungs the moment you realise two of the people you care most about wasn’t there?
TK and Christopher was no longer with her.
But somehow she gasped for her last breath of air before the icy-cold water flooded in; her throat burned as if a thousand needles had been plunged into it. But her gasp wasn’t truly her last breath, it was really her last scream as she called their names, but the heavy blanket around her swallowed that up and dulled her senses before embracing her into another tight, warm, suffocating hug.
Kasey was growing tired, she wanted to become a victim to the hug and just fall further into it.
Perhaps this is the peace Trey told her about, that you’ll truly feel all the pain leave your body and nothingness will fill your body as you just fall into the embrace that Poseidon gives you. You feel warmth from his sandy, bubbly, fingers, and you’ll feel yourself nodding along to him questioning you if you were ready to leave.
But at that question, Kasey found herself shaking her head, eyes still squeezed shut, but she attempted to wake her body up, even if it’s just for a few minutes just so she could swim up to the surface again. Because maybe Trey found comfort within Poseidon hold, but she didn’t, she wasn’t ready to go, not yet, and even if she was, she just couldn’t leave, not when TK and Chris needed her.
So she fought her way back to the surface with two things on her mind. She thought of TK. And she thought of Christopher. And that alone was enough for her to continue to fight.
                                               ❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥
“Hey – Hey, I’m looking for a TK – Tyler Kennedy Strand, and Evan Buckley and Christopher Diaz.” Kasey’s strained voice begs the woman in scrubs that stood in front of her. The tips of Kasey’s fingers were bloody, and she lightly touches one of the woman’s arms, body flinching at the realisation of what she just done.
The lady looks Kasey over with the bottom of her lip tucked in between her teeth. Kasey didn’t look so good, not with the cuts over her face and the blood-soaked t-shirt she was wearing. She questioned if Kasey even realised how badly injured she was, but perhaps the shirt being dark has hidden the truth from her and she was just now running on pure adrenaline. But Kasey knew, she knew how badly hurt she was, but she wasn’t going to let herself get looked at until she knew those people were safe, that they were alright.
Kasey takes a nervous step back at the look of worry the woman gave her.
“Ma’am you need to see–”
“Are they here?” Kasey stuttered out, hand moving to clutch her side as she felt a sudden rush of pain run through her as she impatiently waited for the woman to skim through the pages of her clipboard.
She shakes her head. “You may wanna check over there at the black tent.”
Kasey’s eyes shifts to look over the woman’s shoulder, gulping nervously.
“But we need to check you–”
“Isn’t that the–”
“The morgue.” Kasey’s unfinished question echoes through her ears, through her mind, through her heart for a little too long. She feels a sudden shakiness in her hand, and her legs began to feel weak, and Kasey thinks her vision is going, but none of that mattered, not with the haunting hum that runs through her body; her soul.
Kasey felt like she was drowning again, felt like she was wrapped in the currents once again. Her breathing halted and her throat twisted and squeezed every word she thought of.
Her stomach turned at the thought.
She gags at the sight of it, at the word of it, and at the thought of it.
Morgue.
Just that word made her feel like she was under again, that the bile in her mouth was the salt water that tried to suffocate her, and death still lingered at the back of her mind as she passed the woman, ignoring her calls for someone to come and help the injured woman.
Kasey paused a few meters away from the black tent.
She failed them.
She’s the reason that they could possibly be–
Kasey couldn’t save them.
With her blood-stained hands, she clasps them together and presses against her stomach where she’s sure her heart has fallen into.
It’s impossible. They couldn’t be dead – not her brother, her best friend, and not her–
She wasn’t there, she should’ve been there, she shouldn’t have left them, she should stayed.
She should’ve stayed.
She should’ve stayed.
She takes a step forward. And another. And another. She thinks she’s thirteen and half steps away from the tent before her feet stop moving, She just stands there staring at it.
“Kasey?” A voice pulls her out, and tiredly she turns to the call, “Kasey!” It was no longer a questioning tone, it was more a tone of worry, and her eyes were fluttering shut but the feeling of cold hands on her cheeks awoke her and she was now welcomed by the eyes of someone she’s known from childhood – TK. TK is here, TK’s alive and – oh, she looks over her shoulder to see her team staring at her worriedly as they stand around a tired-looking Buck with cuts across his face and is his hand bleeding? But Buck is alive too and–
“Chris? Where is he? I lost you – I wasn’t good–” Eddie feels Chris push him away slightly from the hold he was in before turning around and stumbling his way towards Kasey who rushes forwards, kneeling on the ground just to hold him.
She ignored all the pain that came with the movements.
“I’m sorry – I’m so sorry – I shouldn’t have left you – I should have been there – I should have been – I’m not going again, I’ll–” She stops when she fells Christopher hold onto her even tighter, it wasn’t like the time before when she was holding him as they walked through the water, he didn’t hold her like was scared she would disappear, he held her in the way one would hold a loved one once they returned home safe. Chris tucks his face more into the crook of Kasey’s neck and mumbles out a tired but relieved, “you’re okay.” And maybe the hug was painful, but it was worth it, it was worth it cause she has her little Diaz in her arms again and her lips pressed against his cheek, giving it a feather light kiss like a way a mother would kiss their child in comfort after they had a nightmare. “I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, voice hitching around the lump in her throat. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you, kiddo.”
Kasey remains kneeling on the concreate as she tucks a cold and damp Christopher closer to her chest. She rests her forehead against his cheek as she just breaths in the smell of the salt water that lingers on the curls of his hair. “I’m sorry – I’m so sorry – I didn’t – I–” Her voice shakes in distraught, but she is interrupted by Christopher little voice.
“You’re okay now kid, we’ve got you.” He mimics a phase he often hears around, and Kasey indeed felt like she will be okay as she holds him in her arms.
She holds him a little longer before she ushers him to go hold Buck for a bit more as she notices Eddie standing near, face unreadable as he stares at the pair. TK was now perched on a rock as he finally caught his breath, asking Bobby if he could borrow his phone to ring his dad.
Christopher moves towards Buck and Kasey moves to stand, grimacing slightly as she did so.
“Eds–” But the look on Eddie’s face cuts her off as he shakes his head before he gently pulls her in closer by her right wrist. His eyes searches her up and down, lingering slightly longer on her stomach. “I’m fine,” she utters, and Eddie doesn’t believe it, but he just wants to feel her, touch her, just do something to rest his racing mind and make himself believe that she is real, that she is alive.
He thought he lost both her and his son tonight, and he just finished holding his son and now he’s got to hold Kasey whilst Buck now holds Christopher to assure his mind that they’re fine – that they will be okay eventually.
But Kasey didn’t return for nearly fifteen minutes after TK and Chris, and as the time ticked the more his mind tried to convince him that Kasey truly was dead.
But she wasn’t, she was standing in front of him and all he wants to do is hold her and never let het go. All he wants to do is take both her and Christopher home and watch some stupid show on the TV as he just holds his son and best friend…
And now Eddie’s hand slides up the back of Kasey’s neck, her damp, knotted hair falling over it as his thumbs strokes the base of her head softly.
Kasey was here, Kasey was fine, and she was real.
His family was okay and now the one who held his heart in her palms was right in front of him, and without a thought crossing his mind his forehead rests against hers and their eyes fall shut as they embraced this, and now she was being pulled into his chest and her arms were wrapping round him, and oh god was Kasey happy that something other than the ocean was gripping her, holding her – protecting her.
Kasey didn’t think much of it either as his lips brushed the top of her head.
Her rocks them side-to-side and he feels a smaller body wrapping round his waist before he ushers the two of them to kneel to the ground, then he pulls Christopher into their hug. And for a small moment, they seemed like a family who just been caught in a natural disaster, that he was the relief husband that his wife and son has returned back to him, and sometimes that’s what it felt like, and right now it did feel like it, despite the natural disaster, Eddie couldn’t help but think about it.
His fingers grip onto them for dear life and he’s now mumbling that their okay, that he’s got them now, and they will be okay.
Buck was back on the phone (Athena’s phone) with Maddie whilst Hen and Chimney ushered him and TK (TK now finally getting ahold of Owen) into a tent to get checked out, Buck questioned about Kasey and Christopher and they insist that they’ll be okay, that Eddie’s got them now, and they will be just fine.
Kasey was sobbing now, she tried to hold it back, but feeling the safety around her she began to sob, and she knew Christopher was crying too as she felt his body shake in her arm and Eddie was certain he had tears quietly running down his own cheeks, but he didn’t bring much notice to it as he took care of the two in his arms.
Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever felt this stress, not till he experienced the last seventeen minutes where he found a badly-looking Buck with his son’s glasses telling him that he lost Christopher, to Christopher returning in the arms of TK Strand, only to face TK’s panic as he begs Eddie to tell him that Kasey was here and that she was okay, to him saying he hasn’t seen her, to thinking she was dead, until now holding her and Christopher in his arms as he thanks the universe for returning them all back alive.
Bobby takes a step forwards with a doctor next to him along with the worried woman in scrubs who Kasey met first. He clears his throat, hating to break it all up, but it only just came to his attention of how hurt Kasey seemed, and she needs to urgently be looked at.
“Eddie,” his voice is quiet to not alarm anyone, “Eddie, we’ve got to check them out, please.”
Eddie nods as he slowly lets them go. He raises to his feet and picks Christopher up with one arm. Christopher’s shattered body wrapped round Eddie’s left side, his head resting against his shoulder whilst Eddie moved to stand on one of Kasey’s side whilst Bobby came to assist the other side, they both caught her as she stumbled to stand, the pain overtaking her once again, and her mind finally was catching up with the wounds across her body.
“Can you stand?” Eddie asked.
Kasey nodded shakily, trying to pull herself up onto her feet. Just as soon as she managed to get upright, her knees buckled.
Eddie and Bobby catches her before she fell back to the ground, helping Kasey to stand back up. “S-sorry,” she stutters “I-I-I–”
“It’s okay, we’ve got you.”
When they entered the medical tent, Eddie insisted to be the one to look after Kasey whilst Buck took Christopher after whining softly that he needs to hold the kid again, and Eddie allowed him too, knowing he’ll be safe as Buck holds him whilst Chimney moves to check Christopher over.
Kasey unconsciously rested her head against the top of his as he kneeled slightly in front of her to gain access to her abdominal area. Her shirt was pushed up whilst Eddie gently disinfected the area, the wounds weren’t as bad as he thought they be, the bleeding had came to a stop a while ago he believes, and it was a good sign to see that she wouldn’t be needing any stitches either.
Eddie’s finger dances across the cleaned, and freshly bandaged wounds, his finger pauses at a scar just above the beginning of the white bandage, and he ponders over it, but he says nothing of it when Bobby taps his shoulder, presenting a clean shirt that he must have found.
“We’ll have fresher clothes at mine for her to get into after she showers.” Bobby smiles softly and Eddie responds with his own small smile as he nods, but as he turns to face Kasey again his smile faltered slightly as reality struck him with the fact that Kasey wouldn’t be coming home with him and Christopher.
For most of time, Christopher stuck with either Buck or TK, only coming over when he see’s Kasey slightly more awake than before, drinking some water as she winces every now and then as Eddie daps a cloth around her face to clean the cuts there. He listens to his father quietly apologise to her, and he watches as Kasey shakes her head at it every time.
Chris brings himself closer to them, he was in different clothes now from the box Bobby searched through, and so was Buck and TK, all their old stuffs were stuffed in one pile by Athena as she spoke quietly with Bobby of how she is becoming a pro at washing due to the amount of blood and dirt she has taken out of clothes that belonged to him or their two older kids that go by the name of Buck and Kasey, and a few more clothes won’t be a hassle either, she’s just glad that they’re all okay.
His head falls onto his dad’s shoulder as he looks up at Kasey with a smile.
“Hey my little lion,” Kasey teased, hand reaching out to run through his curls as she eyes his scrunched up hand, “you doing okay, kiddo?” He nods before holding his hand out to her, presenting her with a collection of plasters with a small frown.
“They didn’t have any Spider-Man ones,” Kasey gently takes the plasters out from his hands as she looks at them. “Only Scooby Doo ones.”
Kasey gasps in small excitement, “well that’s good!” She says with a grin, but Eddie could see the tiredness behind it. “I love Scooby Doo!”
“Me too,” Christopher states with a bubble of laughter.
“Would you like to put the plasters on Kasey?” Eddie questioned as he took in the sight of the two, coming to a quick understanding that they must have talked about plasters when they found one another. Christopher nods and Eddie stands himself up better before bending down to pick his son up and places him down next to Kasey on the hospital bed.
Kasey turns her head to face Christopher, hand palm-up with the plasters laying in them for him to take, and he does so very gently as he rips the white pieces off from them before placing them gently over Kasey’s face to hide the cuts.
“Perhaps you’ll become Doctor Diaz in the future,” Kasey mutters as she studies his movements. “Think I’ll be least afraid of hospitals if I knew I’ve got the best and bravest doctor ever!”
As Bobby had same final words with the doctor, he brings himself towards the trio after confirming that Doctor Diaz has finished with placing Scooby Doo plasters on his patient’s face to tell them it be best if they all go home and clean themselves up and to rest.
(There was even a soft mention that Bear is at home waiting on her return).
The group that become bigger without Eddie and Kasey’s realisation ushered their last goodbyes, making sure everyone will be alright for the night, Karen kisses them all on the cheek, wishing them a better and restful evening, she gave Kasey a teasing squeeze on her cheeks before patting it softly, then when she came to Eddie she gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but as she leaves she gives his bicep a soft squeeze as she throws him a comforting and knowing look and he watches as her eyes shift to Kasey who has now began to pull herself off the bed.
Eddie quickly comes to her aid, helping her to slide off the medical bed much easier and she thanks him, and then she tells the Diaz’s boys how they’re the best doctors she has ever had, and that she’s feeling much better now. Eddie knew she wasn’t, but he also knew that comment was more aimed at his son than to him. Kasey gives another long-lasting hug to Christopher, telling him that she will try and see him the next day and she lays a kiss to his cheek and says that if he or his dad needs anything then give her a ring and she will come.
Eddie shakes his head as he stands behind the pair, a smile tugging at his lips as he watches them, and Christopher even leans up to kiss the bandage across her nose as he wishes her a goodnight before making his way to Buck and TK who were both whining next to Vanessa and Kit (who Kasey didn’t even notice turning up) as they begged to hold Christopher again.
Kasey moves to stand with Eddie’s help and Kasey says nothing as she wraps her arms round his waist, tucking her face into his chest as she just closes her eyes. “You should go,” her voice was raspy now but Eddie found it kinda cute if he forgot the reasoning behind it. “You should go and get yourself and Chris home.”
Eddie knows he should but he also wishes Kasey was coming with them, wishing she was coming home with them to clean up and rest there, and they would turn on some shitty show as they lay on the couch to watch it, all nibbling on something easy to fill their stomachs and Chris would fall asleep first, his eyes falling shut then Eddie would feel a heavy weight on his left shoulder. He then would promise Kasey that he’ll be back as he takes Christopher to bed, tucking him in and leaving the night-light on in his bedroom before he makes his way back to Kasey, who was watching them before but now her eyes were closed and Eddie would smile softly at the sight of her, watching as she finally gains some sleep before he tucks his arms under her body and lifts her up and–
Kasey was now leaving the embrace and gives him a small smile before she makes her way to Athena who wraps her up tightly whilst whispering words of how good a nice warm shower will be for her and TK and that the heating will be on, and she is sure that hot chocolate will be made tonight too.
And then everyone was leaving, out of the medical tents and Chris was situated on Eddie’s hip once Buck and TK finally let him go, Kit and Chimney were up front, helping Buck walk with Maddie following closely behind, then there was Hen and Karen, and then Bobby (who was carrying the dirty clothes) and Vanessa with Athena and Kasey behind, her arm was wrapped motherly round her waist as she began to question Kasey that all of her weight better be on her (Athena) and she better not be taking any of it, but Kasey wasn’t listening much as her head turns to look over her shoulder at the two Diaz’s and all she does was smile at them.
              ❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥
Eddie pushes himself off the sofa as he watches some shitty show on the television, Christopher was in bed now after having a quick bath and eating something before being tackled in hugs and comforting words from his father. Eddie wasn’t expecting anything else for the evening, especially not a knock at his door at this time of night or even from what has happened all day.
And he sure wasn’t expecting to see a clean but still tired Kasey (still covered in her bandages, but they were changed to plain brown ones after her shower, at Athena’s recommendation) at his door. He looks out at the road to see headlights on, and they gave him a quick blink and he was quick to recognise it being Bobby. He then watches the car drive off before his eyes move back to the women in front of him, who gives him a small, nervous, smile.
“Can I stay here for tonight, please,” her voice was still slightly scratchy, and she swing her arms at her sides as she gazes at Eddie and all he could do was nod as he holds back his smile from growing anymore at the realisation of why she was here.
No wonder Bobby drove off without Eddie giving an answer as he knew he would say yes to Kasey. Eddie even wondered if Bobby knew how much both Christopher and Eddie wished for her to come home with them.
“Yeah – yeah, of course,” he says and at his words Kasey falls forwards, falling into his open arms that were quick to catch her. Her forehead rests against his shoulder and she rounds her tired arms around his waist whilst he brings her into a tighter embrace.
In his hold, Kasey felt saved.
They stay standing in the doorway, still embracing one another, and Eddie wondered how long they be there for, but he didn’t really mind, not as long as he had her in his arms. It was silent between the pair; well it was until Kasey spoke up again with a question Eddie was truly not expecting tonight.
“Can I get Chris’ name tattooed on me?” Kasey pulls back slightly to look at Eddie’s face, but all she saw was his knitted brows and eyes that burnt with confusion. “I know it’s crazy – we have no relation – like he isn’t even mine or he, well, he isn’t mine anything. But he was so brave Eddie, and I want to carry some of his bravery around – it–it doesn’t make any sense, forget it.” She takes a quick pause. “But he means the world to me Eddie, really, you’ve got the best kid ever, you know? And I just want to honour him more, and just carry something of him around with me everywhere I go so when I do get scared, I’ll know that Chris would want me to be brave and …I just – I care a lot about your son, and you, my god, you two mean absolutely everything to me, I don’t think you understand how important the pair of you are to me and–”
She stops with the feeling of his lips touching the top of her head.
She blinks.
“I think,” he begins as he gazes at her, eyes full of softness, “I think Christopher would really like that,” the corner of his lip tugs up even more now, “I really like the idea too. It’s sweet.”
“Really?” Kasey scrunches her nose slightly, the plaster crumpling up as she does so. “You can say no if you want.”
Eddie shakes his head. “You can get his name tattooed, I don’t mind, but thank you for asking me though.”
Kasey blinks again cause why wouldn’t she ask for his permission? “Yeah – yeah, er, always…”
“When do you want to get it done?” He questions next as they still stood in his doorway.
“Tomorrow,” she instantly says. “I’m going to get TK’s name tattooed on me too, already asked for his permission,” she ranted slightly, “do you want to come with?” Then there was a moment of silence before she shakes her head. “Wait, no, you’ll be busy, it was stupid to ask, you will probably be working or with Chris and–”
His hand finds her, intertwining their fingers together as he offers her a soft squeeze. “I don’t have a shift tomorrow,” he states once he notices that his action has stopped her panicking rant, her eyes moves to look down at their joint up hands. “Chris will be at his Abuela’s, so I’ll come with you.”
And then he leans forwards, lays another kiss on her forehead, but his lips linger by her skin, and she swears she feels him smiling when she squeezes his hand in return.
               ❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥
A/N: Kit Prescott has been changed to Reiky De Valk A/N.2: Taglist found in reblog!
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aromanticbuck · 6 days
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AITA for coming out at my sister's wedding?
I (32M) recently realized I'm bisexual and I have my first bf (45M), he's a rescue helicopter pilot (this will be relevant later). I'm out to my sister (41F) and my coworkers, including her husband, who I have worked with for years, but not to my parents or most of the other guests. Everyone has joked that I'm a little too close to my best friend (32M), and we might as well get married, but he's straight and has a gf. They're not relevant to this story, but to give context to how much my sexuality probably shouldn't be a surprise, even if it took me by surprise.
I told my sister and her husband I was bringing a plus one, and they both knew my bf, they were supportive of it because he makes me really happy.
Everything kind of started at the bachelor party. It was just me, my brother-in-law, and my best friend, and we did the usual stuff. We stayed a night in a hotel, went out to get drunk, sang some karaoke at our usual spot. It should have been a super chill night. Until my best friend and I lost the groom??? But it way more stressful than The Hangover makes it look.
He'd been taken by these guys who tried to kill him (no, I don't know why) and we didn't realize he was missing until less than an hour before the wedding. My mom kind of threw a fit about us being late, and then blamed me for losing the groom, which is kind of a normal reaction from her. My dad didn't yell as much but again, this is a normal reaction, I'm kind of the disappointment child. Basically, we had to find my brother-in-law because he still needed to marry my sister.
Before anyone worries: they did get married. He's fine. The hospital says they're discharging him tomorrow to go home. They're gonna reschedule their honeymoon so he's well enough to enjoy it.
Long story short, it turned into a rescue mission, and driving would have taken too long, and my best friend suggested we ask my bf to borrow his helicopter again (long story, but we had to borrow him for something a few months ago, it's how we met!) so I asked him for the favor. My mom asked who he was, since my best friend just used his name, and I told her he's my boyfriend, and she freaked out about it.
When we go to the hospital with my brother-in-law, my parents both yelled at and scolded me for taking attention away from the biggest day of my sister's life by pulling some "stunt" with my bf (to SAVE my brother-in-law from being violently murdered), and I think my dad somehow grounded me?
AITA?
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ecoamerica · 15 days
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youtube
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chronicowboy · 12 days
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His breakup with Marisol is about as unremarkable as the rest of their relationship. There's no catastrophic muffin mess in his kitchen or divorce papers. Just a quiet I don't think this is working out, I'm sorry. Marisol hadn't even cried. She'd just nodded like she'd been waiting for it and left, didn't even need to grab anything from the house before she went and really that just reassured Eddie that this was the right choice.
So, his breakup with Marisol is unremarkable, except that it's not. It's pretty fucking remarkable when he thinks about it because it's not just that they weren't working out, not just that he really didn't care about spending time with her, not just the clench in his gut every time she touched him. No. It's pretty fucking remarkable because he realises he's in love with his best friend.
That's what pushes him over the edge, gives him the last kick he needs to actually break things off with her. Because Eddie may have sworn himself to secrecy about it the moment he realised, but he could never string someone along just because he couldn't have the real someone he wanted.
It's a fucking revelation once he has it. Not a ton of bricks, but the sun peeking out from behind the clouds on the greyest of days, bright and blinding. And the way Eddie has always thought of Buck in terms of sunshine maybe should have tipped him off sooner, but with the way Buck has been beaming over the past few weeks. Well. Eddie doesn't really think he can be blamed for only just taking his sunglasses off and daring to look directly at the light.
And, okay, so Eddie maybe makes it a full week before he decides his self-sworn secrecy absolutely is not a viable option when Buck walks through life now like a drop of sunshine in human form. It's after Buck leaves the Diaz house, walking out from a day of giggles and joy at the go-kart track they'd finally managed to convince Chris to be seen with them at, leaving behind a cosy heat like sun-warmed skin, that Eddie realises he cannot go another day without telling Buck that he's desperately, deeply in love with him.
And so, that's how Eddie finds himself at Buck's door on a random Sunday morning, knocking for the first time since Natalia waltzed out of the picture. Buck opens it a few moments later looking perfectly sleep-rumpled and soft and downright golden where he's backlit by the early morning sunlight pooling in the loft.
"Eddie," Buck breathes out, eyes darting up the stairs before refocusing on Eddie and what must be the most hopelessly lovesick expression painted across his face. "H-hey, what are you doing here?"
"I, um." Eddie takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous, and wipes his clammy palms on his jeans. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Now a good time?" And Buck must hear the slightly shaky steel in his voice because the surprise on his face morphs into a concern so quintessentially Buck that Eddie just wants to kiss it away.
"Y-yeah, of course, come on in." Buck holds the door open for him, and Eddie migrates to the fridge as Buck closes the door with the gentlest touch. "So, um, what's up?"
"I..." Eddie swallows against the heart in his throat, loses himself in the shining blue of Buck's eyes like an ocean he'd be more than happy to drown in. "I broke up with Marisol last week."
"Oh, Eddie." Buck slumps, and Eddie tries not to think that it looks a little like relief. "I'm so sorry, man. That sucks."
"No, no." Eddie waves him off with a laugh. "It's good. Was a long time coming actually." He shakes his head at himself. "I think I was dating her just to tick a box, you know? Realised you probably shouldn't be more excited about a phone call from your new buddy than one from your kinda long-term girlfriend. You definitely shouldn't be relieved when you see your best friend in the restaurant you're taking her to and disappointed when you realise he's just leaving."
And then, Buck blushes, ducks his head, does that little smile that could light up every house on South Bedford Street just like Eddie had been hoping for.
"Yeah." Buck looks up at him from under his lashes. "Probably not."
It bolsters Eddie. Buck's sunshine giving him that one last push he needs.
"There was something else I wanted to say," Eddie starts. And there isn't really any fear in him, knows they'll make it through this no matter what, just an overwhelming sense of peace to come. "I..." A deep breath, gathering all his love and devotion in his lungs so it's ready to pour out on his next inhale and—
A groan from upstairs has the words dying in his throat. A masculine groan. And then:
"Evan?"
"D-down here," Buck calls back.
Eddie can't take his eyes off the loft, stuck there like a car crash he can't look away from as a very shirtless Tommy Kinard appears at the top of the stairs and quickly blanches.
"Shit. Um..." He looks down at Buck in a panic.
Eddie finally manages to drag his eyes away from the very chiselled curveball that just hit him at a hundred miles per hour and finds Buck's face. Small, scared, shaken. He knows the feeling. And because he loves Buck, because of just how deeply he loves Buck, it's the easiest thing in the world to lock that love away and let his face crack into the most genuine of grins. Because if Tommy's been the thing making Buck shine like every fucking star in the sky, well Eddie will absolutely not be getting between them.
"You've been so happy," Eddie chokes out, still smiling.
"I have," Buck whispers.
"And I'm so happy for you." Eddie covers the distance between them in three long strides and pulls Buck into a hug so tight and clinging he's sure it's a confession in and of itself, but Buck only buries in deeper, taking shaky little breaths in the crook of Eddie's neck.
"Thank you," Buck murmurs into his skin. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut against the sudden rush of tears.
"Sorry you didn't get to tell me on your own terms," he murmurs back, letting Buck pull away, but lingering with a hand on his hip, on his shoulder. He should maybe be worried about what this could look like to Tommy who had basically never heard anything apart from rambles about Buck, except when he glances up the stairs, Tommy is nowhere to be seen.
"I was going to tell you," Buck rushes out. "I-I just wasn't sure how."
"That's okay," Eddie says. It's okay. It's okay. "Well, I'll stop gate-crashing for the... Second time?" He raises an eyebrow, and Buck flushes a pink Eddie will never ever get to taste. "Yeah, okay. That makes sense." He remembers the pure fear on Buck's face, the indecision on Tommy's and the sudden tightening of his own chest despite his smile. "I'll leave you guys to it." He clears his throat. "Kinard, if you hurt him, they'll never find your body," he shouts up the stairs.
"Copy that, Diaz," Tommy shouts back.
"I'm really proud of you, Buck." Eddie wraps him in another hug then, a quick thing, just one last touch before Eddie seals every desire away for good.
"Thanks, Eddie." Buck walks him to the door, eyes glistening with unshed tears, and Eddie wants to hug him again. Wants so badly it hurts. But if he hugs Buck again, he doesn't think he'll ever let go. "See you at work tomorrow."
"See you at work." Eddie prays Buck is too distracted to hear the wobble in his voice.
"Wait, sorry, what did you want to talk about?"
Eddie freezes on the threshold, the stutter of his heart painful like he's back in a suit store, and he catches himself on the doorframe with a shaking hand.
"It can wait."
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littlespoonevan · 14 days
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i'll keep it all to myself
7x04 coda (she's back, baby xoxo)
-
“Hey, killer.”
Buck winces, mouth already tripping over an apology as he moves into the Diaz living room. “Eddie, I’m so sorry-“
“Buck, I’m kidding,” Eddie interrupts, exasperated and just a little fond. He hasn’t been on the receiving end of that tone in a few days. It’s embarrassing to say he missed it. “Sit down.”
Buck takes the armchair instead of sitting on the couch next to Eddie. He’s not sure why. He never sits in the armchair. Sitting in it now he almost feels…off balance. But then catching sight of Eddie’s foot propped up on the coffee table sobers him immediately and he forgets all about the strange discomfort in his stomach.
Reaching for the cushion behind him, he gets up again. “You should have something under that,” he says, gently lifting Eddie’s leg to place the cushion on the table. He lowers it again carefully, nodding in satisfaction when Eddie’s foot is nestled safely in the cushion. “The table is too hard.”
“Oh sorry, I thought I was the one with real medical training,” Eddie quips but there’s no bite behind the words.
“Yeah but I’m the one with crush injury experience,” Buck says, kicking his own legs up on the table in proof.
Eddie opens his mouth as if to argue back but then closes it again, rolling his eyes, but his lips twitch a bit. Just at the corners.
“Eddie, I really am sorry,” he says, straightening in his seat and forcing himself to meet Eddie’s gaze properly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just got so-“
“I know,” Eddie replies, quiet and careful and devoid of any of his earlier teasing. “But you know you can talk to me, right? Like, it’s me Buck. You can just tell me when something’s wrong.”
Buck does know that. He knows he can tell Eddie everything. Anything. The bad and the good.
Which means he should be able to clear this up right away, right? He should just be able to say, ‘Hey, I was apparently working through some latent feelings I never knew I had. And I took that out on you. But guess what! I like Tommy and he likes me back and we have a date Saturday!’
But thinking about telling Eddie that Tommy kissed him makes his chest constrict in a way that he doesn’t expect. So he tucks it up in a neat little box in the corner of his mind for now and focuses on making sure Eddie’s okay. Because he can do that. He knows how to do that.
“I’m an idiot,” he says. “And if you want I will totally give you one free punch so we’re even.”
Eddie huffs a quiet laugh. “I could never hit you.”
“Should I go get Christopher’s Legos instead and step on them with my shoes off?”
Eddie lets out a real laugh then, the kind that makes his eyes close and his head fall back against the couch cushion, and Buck feels so much affection for him well up inside him he’s almost breathless with it.
“You’re an idiot,” Eddie tells him. “And a martyr. Seriously, Buck, I don’t care. I just want to make sure you and I are okay.”
“Of course we are,” Buck says, without actually stopping to interrogate if that’s true or not.
They are, he thinks. The fact that something absolutely life altering happened to him an hour ago and he somehow can’t make himself tell Eddie about it is…inconsequential.
He’s just hedging his bets. Not trying to get ahead of himself before he has yet another failed romance.
“In that case, can you go to the fridge and get us some beers?” Eddie asks, pulling Buck back to reality.
“You shouldn’t be drinking,” Buck says, even as he stands. Maybe they can split a beer. Half a bottle shouldn’t hurt. “Tommy says you’re on pain meds.”
“Oh, so you guys talked?”
Eddie says it unassumingly and when Buck freezes at the dining table and looks over his shoulder he finds that Eddie isn’t even looking at him. He’s leaning forward on the couch, adjusting his leg, but when Buck takes too long to answer he raises his head and gives him an expectant look.
“Yeah,” Buck murmurs, the phantom rasp of Tommy’s stubble against his mouth still tingling and making him want to reach up and touch his lips. That would give too much away though. “We talked.”
Eddie smiles, nodding his approval. “Good. Maybe all three of us can actually hang out together now.”
The thought immediately makes Buck’s stomach swoop with something unnameable but he doesn’t let it show on his face.
“Sure,” he breathes. “Sounds great.”
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The Look of Love.
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Synopsis - You, Buck and Eddie are absolutely, undeniably, head over heels in love with each other. It seems like everyone can see it except for the three of you.
Pairing - Evan Buckley x Female Reader x Eddie Diaz
Warnings - none!! just idiots in love.
Word Count - 1k
Author's Note - oh my buddie heart was bursting while writing this. whenever I watch 911, I always think about how easy it'd be to be friends (or more than) with eddie and buck. and then this was born!! hope you enjoy reading this sweetness as much as I enjoyed writing it <3
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Masterlist. Inbox.
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Buck twirls you around, strong arms circling your waist. Your feet don't touch the ground as he spins you, the skirt of your dress billowing in the breeze. You lean back in his hold, and catch sight of Eddie throwing Christopher up in the air, both of them laughing.
Buck puts you down and grins at you, Cheshire cat smile bright and blinding. You smooth your hands across his chest, flattening out his crisp white dress shirt where you've crinkled it. You tug at his bow tie, straightening it gently. Your gaze meets his, and you beam at him.
"Have I told you how handsome you look tonight, Evan Buckley?" you tease, wrapping your arms around his neck to sway with him. There's a smooth, jazzy melody echoing through the huge backyard, illuminated by golden, twinkling lights.
He quirks a brow at you cheekily before answering.
"I wouldn't mind hearing it again."
"I'm sure you wouldn't," you laugh, shrieking as he dips you backwards quickly.
"Well, you look very handsome. I like you in a tux."
You swear you see him blush slightly, heat creeping across his cheeks. He finds his confidence again, sliding his hands across the exposed skin of your back slowly.
"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," he tells you sincerely, eyes never leaving yours. "I should tell you that more often."
"Yes, you should," you tease, grinning at him.
You take notice of his smile, his relaxed shoulders, the way he's swaying with you effortlessly.
"You love weddings, don't you?"
"Hell yeah I do!" he replies delightedly. "Everyone I love all in one place, dancing, music... what more could you want?"
You can't wipe the smile off your face. He's right. The entire 118 is here, together as a family. Everyone is happy, excited to be celebrating Bobby and Athena's vow renewal. It's not often you all get to leave work at work and enjoy yourselves completely. You plan to make the most of every single second.
You feel two warm hands find your hips from behind, instantly leaning back into the broad chest behind you, knowing who it is immediately.
"Hola, Mr Diaz."
"Hola, hermosa."
"You gonna keep her all to yourself all night, Buckley?" he asks, wrapping his arms around you, over the top of where Bucks are already resting. You're sandwiched between the two of them, completely content.
"We were avoiding you and your terrible dance moves," Buck jokes, the three of you swaying together now.
"Are you hearing this?" Eddie asks incredulously, chuckling into your ear. "My terrible dance moves?"
"Don't listen to him, Eds. His ego lies to him."
"It's called confidence! Sorry if I have faith in my dance moves!"
The three of you laugh, bodies and souls tangled and intertwined on the dance floor.
Across the backyard, Chimney and Hen are sat at their table, watching you, Buck and Eddie move to the music, arms wrapped around one another.
"They really love each other, don't they?"
"Oh, yeah," Hen laughs. "Wish they'd all just admit it."
Chimney looks at his best friend in confusion, brows quirked and face crumpled.
"... What?"
"Oh, come on, Chim," Hen chuckles. "It's twenty twenty three. Get with the program."
"You mean, like, love love," Chim confirms, still puzzled.
"Yes, Howie. Love love. In love. The three of them are completely in love."
Chimney processes for a moment, before a light bulb goes off in his head.
"Oh, shit!" he laughs. "They totally are!"
"Damn, men are oblivious. How am I the only one that's noticed?"
"You aren't," Bobby and Athena say in unison, pulling out chairs to sit at the table.
"But we can't rush them. Good things like this take time," Athena offers.
Bobby glances over at the dance floor. You're holding Buck and Eddie's hands, and Chris is too, the four of you dancing and laughing. He smiles for moment, before speaking.
"You know they basically live together?"
When he's met with confused faces, he continues.
"They all crash at Eddie's place with Christopher so often, they've practically moved in. Buck hasn't slept in his own apartment in months."
"I mean, how do you even... navigate something like that? The three of them? It's so complicated," Chimney asks genuinely.
"They'll figure it out," Bobby assures. "They always do."
With that, he rises from his chair and across the yard. He scoops Christopher up into his arms, promising him cake and soda, much to Eddie's dismay. He winks at Buck before carrying Chris away, leaving the three of you alone.
Eddie surprises you by grabbing your hand and then Bucks, pulling you both away from the crowd.
"Come on. I wanna show you something."
He leads you up and into the guest bathroom of the house, rolling his eyes at you and Bucks suggestive comments. He's first to climb out the window and onto the roof, making sure you get through safely in your dress.
The three of you sit and watch your friends in the yard below, quietly reflecting. You're suddenly aware of the way you're sandwiched in between them again, thighs pressed together. You lean left and rest your head on Eddie's shoulder, interlinking your right hand with Bucks.
"How lucky am I?" you breathe. "To be surrounded by so much love."
Eddie rests his head atop of yours, smiling as he watches Buck lean in to rest his on your shoulder. The three of you exhale.
"We're the lucky ones," Buck murmurs. "I never thought I'd have this."
"Well you do," Eddie reassures. "And we're not going anywhere, Buckley."
"He's right, Buck. We're not going anywhere. Ever."
Evan sits up to kiss you on the cheek, before leaning over you and doing the same to Eddie.
The three of you sit on the roof, bodies and souls intertwined, illuminated by the moonlight. How lucky you are, to be surrounded by so much love.
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targaryenluvs · 1 month
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HARD TIMES / EVAN BUCKLEY
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PAIRING: Evan Buckley x Fem!Reader
SUMMARY: Whilst waiting for his appointment, Evan abstains from sexual encounters. Which is a bit hard whilst simultaneously having a crush on the girl from the coffee shop.
WARNINGS: Fluff, sex mentions, teasing, makeouts & sexual depictions
WORDCOUNT: 2.5K Words
A/N: I’m actually in love with this idea 😂 May or may not have made Buck a whiner 👀 As per usual, @megalony for giving me the inspo to finish this off - check out her Buck fic!!
Gif not mine, credits to the owner!
He was cursed, indefinitely.
Getting rescheduled, running out of gas, random remodels galore. It seems as if someone was against him finally making his donation. But the waiting wasn’t the worst part, the no sex rule was major. Why on Earth had he stuck with it? Evan assumed it wouldn’t be too difficult, which it wasn’t.
Until he met you.
It was the fourth day of waiting and he’d changed his usual coffee place ever since they randomly only served skim milk. And he was happy to make the change, since his new place was actually three minutes closer as well as better. Ever since he saw you, he’d found himself ordering more than needed, adding a muffin or two, or ordering for the crew.
Anything that let him stare at you for a little while longer. You were always on time, every morning you showed up, ordered the same thing with the occasional additional treat. A smile on your face and always equipped with a kind compliment.
But Buck surprisingly couldn’t find it in himself to approach you. Whether he was too scared of embarrassing himself or he just liked staring. He found himself second guessing his actions at every turn. It wasn’t until you came in minus a smile that he worked up the courage to interact with you.
You were currently sitting outside, gazing at the oncoming traffic and people going about their day. The cup in your hands taking the brunt end of your restlessness as you tapped your fingers. The hand waving in your face brought you back, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Did you need something?” The man in front of you grinned, “Uh no, not really. I just- well you were…” He pointed out to the traffic before pointing at you again.
“Would you like to sit? Maybe it’d help you get your words together.” You joked as he laughed before pulling his respective chair, “Thanks, I’m Evan. But people call me Buck, whatever works for you.” You reached your hand out, “Y/n, nice to meet you Evan.”
Evan smiled before revealing the brown bag, “I uhm, well you looked like you were a bit down, so I ordered you a pastry. Thought it’d cheer you up.” Your regular pastry sat inside the bag, waiting for you to eat it, “Oh! You really didn’t have to, that’s so nice of you.” He waved his hand, brushing off your words, “It’s nothing really, just enjoy it.” You wanted to ask how he knew, but figured there was no point in it.
And the two of you talked for almost an hour afterwards, slowly getting to know each other better. The pair of you were quick friends to your surprise. And your relationship only grew afterwards, regularly catching up in the mornings over coffee. Which then turned to lunch together during his off day, and then dinner.
You knew it was quick, but you couldn’t help yourself, you really did like Evan. It was unbelievably easy to talk to him, he was such a warm person. And Evan sure as hell liked you. Every day he found it easier to get out of bed, overly eager to get to see your face and hear your voice. God, he could listen to you for hours.
He’d never really clicked so easily with someone, and he was grateful for it. It’d been a while since Taylor, it was refreshing to talk to someone and not just for a night. He found himself checking his phone every few minutes, hoping for a reply from you.
And everyone else noticed.
“What’s got you so happy Buckley?” Chimney asked from the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee. Hen glanced over to find Buck smiling down at his phone, “Nothing, just looking at photos.” Hen circled back to him, sitting down across from him as she surveyed his body language. You and Evan had been out last night at a movie, and you’d both posed in the cardboard cutouts.
The photo he was looking at had you as a bodybuilder and him in a dress he looked “absolutely stunning in”, according to you.
“It’s like your face is permanently smiling. Please tell me it’s not frozen.” She poked his cheek before he swatted it away, “Can I not just be happy?” Chimney shrugged before settling down next to Hen, “You can be happy, as long as you tell us what, or who, has you feeling this way.” Bobby came towards the trio, Eddie in tow, “Who’s feeling what?” Hen chuckled, “Seems we’ve got a smitten Buckley in the house. We’re trying to figure out who’s making him happy.”
Buck rolled his eyes before getting up, “It’s really not that big of a deal guys, cmon.” Bobby shook his head, “Yes it is, someone’s in love.” The group laughed as Evan shook his head, “Not you too, I thought you were sensible.” He shrugged his shoulders, “I am extremely sensible, and curious. What’s their name?”
“Her names Y/n, and that’s all you get to know for now. Damn vultures.”
“Don’t make me circle back for you Buckley!” Hen shouted out as Evan made his way down, what he didn’t expect was for you to be waiting for him. “Y/n?” You turned swiftly to meet his eye, “Hey Buck, you called me?” His eyebrows furrowed, “It must’ve been an accident, I’m sorry. But you didn’t have to come here.”
He was thoroughly impressed, did a phone call from him warrant a visit? Not that he was complaining. You looked even more gorgeous than usual, and you smelled—
“Yeah but we were supposed to meet for lunch, and you didn’t reply, I only got a call.” His eyes widened in realisation, he’d forgotten your date. Was it a date? Did you think it was a date? Is that why you were wearing a dress? You said you usually only wear them for special occasions or people. Was he a special person?
“I’m so so sorry, it must’ve slipped my mind. We just came back from a run. We can go now for sure.” Your smile spread as he spoke, “Is something funny? Please tell me I don’t have sauce on my face.” Your laughter filled the air, did you know that your eyes creased when you giggled? Your nose also scrunched, god you were cute.
His eyes trailed up to the balcony, where his entire team stood staring before straightening up, “Mhm, the top of the trucks are so pretty. Probably shiny too.” The random topics of conversation were more than enough to alert Evan to the eavesdropping taking place. “Guess you might as well meet those idiots.” You smiled, “Lead the way Firefighter Buckley.”
“Oh! You are brilliant!” Chimney exclaimed as the rest of the group laughed uncontrollably. Buck sat with his arms crossed, “It’s not even that funny!” You couldn’t help but pat his bicep, “Of course you don’t think it is!” You leaned into him as you giggled, practically pushing your chest into his arm.
Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.
Evan’s eyes were staring right into Eddies soul, as Eddies laughter died down, “You okay?” He mouthed as the man across him from blinked rapidly before nodding. Eddies eyes trailed to you, and your low cut dress before returning to Buck. Oh, oh! Eddie smiled, “That’s a really lovely dress Y/n/n.” Evan’s eyes narrowed, wishing a few horrible accidents upon Eddie.
Murmurs of agreement broke out from everyone else, “It really is, what do you think Buck?” Evan’s lips drew into a tight line, “Oh, yeah. Definitely, they look good in it. I mean— you look amazing. Really good today. Not that you don’t usually, you always look so good. And smell! Not that I smell you, you smell. Good! You smell good.”
You couldn’t help but laugh as he stumbled his way through his monologue, “Good to know Buck, good to know.” You promptly turned to Bobby, “Yknow Evan never shuts up about your cooking, would I ever be so lucky to experience it for myself?”
Buck zoned out of the current conversation, replaying his epic fail in his head.The tightening of his pants had him shifting around uncomfortably, and Eddies grin aimed his way was getting to him.
He was going to kill Eddie.
Dinner that night was probably amongst one of the best dates he’d ever had. And he had asked you before you went out whether or not it was a date, repeatedly. But it was also a test of strength. You’d decided to wear a gorgeous dress, designed to test his patience.
And as if that wasn’t enough, he’d made the stupid mistake of inviting you back to his apartment.
Which, A) Gave the impression that something was going to happen.
B) Maybe made you think that he thought you were the type of girl to put out easily.
And Evan never wanted you to think that.
With a few glasses of wine, sweet music and amazing company you were bound to end up on his bed. Evan’s hands were soft yet controlling, lifting you up onto his lap to straddle him. “God you’re gorgeous.” He murmured into your neck as you giggled, “Is that so?” He smiled up at you as your arms locked around his neck, “Definitely.”
“Then we should settle in for the night, no?”
Evan wanted to curse his own mind for reminding him, maybe he could make the deposit another time, right? He knew it was wrong to think this way, but how could he stop himself from going all the way with you on top of him? “Dammit, I am so sorry. But I can’t.” Your swiftly lifted yourself off his lap, settling down next to him.
“Hey that’s fine, you’re not being forced into anything Buck.” Evan groaned as he leaned in to capture your lips again, “You are so annoyingly understanding. And I love that about you, it’s one of the many things I love. Including this gorgeous lace.” He joked as he traced the strap of your bra. “Oh hush, what’s going on?”
“Promise you won’t freak out?”
“Promise.” You smiled before grabbing his hands, with wide eyes filled with curiosity staring up at him, he couldn’t help but feel the pressure. “An old friend asked me to be a sperm donor, and before making my donation, I thought it best to uh…” You raised an eyebrow as Evan struggled to find the right words, “To keep my swimmers in the tank, if you catch my drift.”
“I catch your drift, or is it a flow?” Evan rolled his eyes as you raised yourself to kiss his cheek, “I fully understand, you don’t have to be sorry. I think what you’re doing is absolutely amazing Evan, helping to start a family? That’s really sweet of you, but it must’ve been a hard decision.”
And that’s what the loved about you. Your willingness to listen, to wait and understand what you were being told. Most girls Buck had been with had never really seen everything about him, nor understood him. With you felt truly seen, and heard. Never judged. And you were breathtakingly beautiful, which was a nice bonus.
“It was.” He watched as you grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head, “If i’m half naked, so are you. Now let’s sit and talk, when did you decide to help them out?”
For the rest of the night, the two of you simply laid in bed and cuddled, looking up at each other. Whilst you talked, Evan found his eyes trailing down your body. The two of you were in your underwear, and you your bra. With you practically ontop of him he found an intruder settling in.
“What is that?” You whined from underneath the covers, “Uh, maybe it’s my phone?” Evan rationalised as you stared at him, “Unless I stole someone’s phone and put it on charge, I don’t think it’s a phone.” Evan tried to stop you before you raised the covers, “Oh.”
“Well hello there.” The pillow was swept from underneath you as Evan buried his face in it, “Don’t,” Your laughter made his heart beat faster, and your hand which circled his crotch made him buck his hips upwards. “Oh god, please don’t.”
“Don’t… what?” Evan buried his head into your shoulder as you continued to tease him, it was the funniest thing you’d seen all day. And a helpless Buck was a fun one. “I like hearing you beg.” He slammed the pillow down onto his lap, “Y—you can’t say things like that!” His cheeks were turning red, whether it was embarrassment from his stutter or your hands, you liked it.
“Sure I can, just did. And you want to know something Evan?”
“Not really.”
“Indulge me,”
“Okay.” Evan gave in as you leaned into his ear, “I don’t sleep well with anything on.” You quickly kissed him before unclasping your bra, throwing your undergarments onto the floor and settling back in.
“Goodnight baby.” You smiled before turning off the lamp.
It was going to be a long night. Evan sat in the dark for about an hour before his situation calmed down, if he was sure of one thing? You were going to be the death of Evan Buckley.
It was donation day, finally.
Evan was practically bouncing off the walls after his shift, zooming down to the clinic before another mishap ruined his donation day. And luckily for him, he was given a cylinder and a few magazines before being sent on his way. His fingers drummed against the wheel of his jeep, he was having a good day.
The only thing better? His date with you tonight. What he hadn’t expected was to come home to candles, rose petals and his favourite girl happily sleeping in bed.
“Uhh, Y/n?” You sat up straight away in bed, “Evan! You’re back!” He walked up the stairs before setting his phone and keys down, “Whoa, you look…” You were wearing one of your favourite sets, and a new favourite of Evan’s, it didn’t exactly leave a lot to the imagination.
And he’d seen more than enough of you.
“Oh god, you look so good.”
“Well you’re extremely lucky, this is all for you. Almost five weeks, you did so well Evan.”
“I did well?”
“Yes you did, and you know what?” Evan shook his head rapidly, he was itching to touch you, “I cleared the day tomorrow for you and me, we can stay here as long as you’d like.” Evan felt weak in the knees, “Oh I love you. Now can I please throw you into bed?” You giggled before wrapping your arms around his neck.
“You can do whatever you’d like, Firefighter Buckley.”
“Oh, Firefighter Buckley?” Evan pushed you down to the bed before climbing over you, “Mhm.” His hands lifted your gown slowly, stroking the soft skin, “Now I really want to see you in my coat.”
“Oh? What, with your name on the back? All yours aren’t I?”
“That you are. You’re not gonna be walking for a few days.” Evan teased as he planted kisses along your neck, you raked your hands through his soft hair, “I’m definitely not complaining.”
Hard times have good outcomes, or something like that.
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loserdiaz · 1 month
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if i bleed, you'll be the last to know
buck/eddie | teen and up | 6.1k words
His thumb shakes and it takes him a couple of tries before he finally answers the call, just as its about to send Eddie to voicemail. “Hey, man. What's up?” Buck tries to make his voice sound calmed and unbothered, casual— and he thinks he mostly succeeds if the paramedics' annoyed and unamused stares are anything to go by. “Hey, Buck. Are you busy right now?” Eddie's voice sounds strained and has an edge to it, that immediately has Buck frowning with worry and concern. “Uh,” Buck looks down at his exposed abdomen where blood is still, even if slow and thin, gushing out of his wound. The skin around it looking red and… not good at all. “Nah, man. I'm not doing anything."
or; buck gets stabbed while out on a run and then... doesn't tell anyone about it. eddie loses his shit when he finds out, they have a moment in the kitchen and they kiss.... not necessarily in that order.
read on ao3
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imagineshere-forall · 2 months
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- staying with mom ✰ e. diaz
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Summary: the first time Christoper calls you mom 
Genre: mostly fluff but smidge of angst/tension
warnings: none
Pairing: eddie diaz x fem!reader
word count: 1.3k
Notes: hi hi i tried to use american terms like mall and mom, but i am not american and i say mum, so if you notice any slip ups pls let me know and i will change it. I feel like it would be weird to picture chris saying mum in an american accent so i tried to only used mom   Also i have started watched the walking dead and am obsessed so pls feel free to request some fics for the walking dead (i’m halfway through s7)
When you and Eddie started dating, you waited quite a while before meeting Chris as you wanted to be sure in your relationship so as not to unsettle Chris. After about 8 months, you were pretty sure Eddie was it for you, and you eventually met Chris. Within 6 months of meeting Christopher you had pretty much moved in with the boys, and when the lease on your apartment was up for renewal Chris was the one who suggested you move in. That was over a year ago and since then the three of you had been living life as a happy little family. 
Today, you had a day off from work but Eddie did not, so you had decided to take Chris out for the day. For weeks, Chris had been saying his shoes were starting to get tight so you had decided you would take him to buy some new shoes and buy him a couple extra treats. It wasn’t often you and Eddie weren’t both at work at the same time, even if you didn’t have the same shift, you often overlapped so Chris would spend time with Carla.
Eddie was at work before you even woke up, so you and Chris had a slow morning before heading to the mall. The car journey was filled with music and laughs, you loved spending time with Chris and you guys always had an amazing time. 
Once you got to the mall you found yourself chasing Christoper, the shoe shop was all the way on the other side of the mall so you had decided to do fun shopping first. The first stop was at the ice cream parlor, and then the two of you made your way quickly over to the lego shop. You both bought a lego set, as you planned to watch a movie and build lego together in the afternoon. Once the pair of you had gone to all the shops you wanted to, you slowly walked back to the car, trying to agree on a movie to watch while you were building your legos. 
You were nearly at the car, when the ground started to rumble. Small tremors weren;t uncommon living in LA, but this was not that. The slight rumble turned to full blown shaking and the lights in the parking garage started to come loose and smash to the floor. You quickly dropped your bags and grabbed Christopher and headed for the car, it might not have been the smartest idea but in your panic it seemed like the safest option if the garage was to crumble. 
Somehow, you managed to get to the car in record time as you were opening the door, you noticed a piece of debris falling and you quickly pushed Chris into the car. Within seconds of you getting Chris safely into the car, the debris had come down, knocking you down in the process. You hit your head on the concrete and briefly lost consciousness, but you quickly came around to the sounds of Chris’s cries. 
“I’m here Chris, I’m okay,” you mumbled as you tried to wriggle free. Although, your right leg was trapped under the piece of the parking garage that had knocked you to the floor.
Not long after you regained consciousness, sirens were all you could hear and it became nearly impossible to keep your eyes open, and you were soon consumed by the darkness.
“Cap, get Eddie over here!” You heard being yelled from close by. Squinting at the bright light you started to blink your eyes back open and were met with Buck’s face looking down at you. 
“Chris, is Chris okay?” you forced out, your throat was hoarse and felt as though you had woken from a deep sleep. You could feel yourself being rolled onto a stretcher, presumably to move you to an ambulance, or at least a safer area. 
“Chris was with you?” Buck panicked. 
“I think I got him in the car,” you coughed, “Check him first.”
A couple minutes later you heard a car door be forced open, and then Buck’s shouts. 
“Chris!” Eddie’s shouts were so loud. He had arrived onto the scene and saw Buck carrying Chris over some rubble away from the car. You turned your head slowly and saw Eddie embrace his son tightly. 
“Where’s Y/N?” Eddie suddenly asked. The panic in his voice was palpable.
“Over here,” You heard Buck’s voice get louder as he led Eddie to you. Eddie placed Chris down next to your stretcher and cradled your face.
“Baby, are you okay?” he questioned, whilst scanning your body for any obvious injuries. 
“My leg got crushed but I’m fine. How is Chris? Is Chris okay?” you spoke so fast. 
“I’m fine,” you heard Chris speak. You could have cried with relief upon hearing his voice. You had seen Eddie carry him, but hearing him speak and confirming he was okay made you so happy.
“Now, let get you taken to hospital, Buck can you take Chris to Athena and get her to call Carla please,” Eddie said as he began to wheel you out of the area. You saw Buck begin to usher Chris towards Athena who you could see a while away directing people. 
“No.”
You and Eddie both stopped and looked at Chris who was avoiding Buck and walking towards the two of you. 
“Chris, bud, y/n is okay. Your dad is just making sure she gets her leg checked out,” Buck tried to convince Chris.
“No,” Chris shook off Buck’s arms and carried on walking in your direction. Eddie sighed, letting go of your stretcher and turning to Chris before squatting down to his level while holding onto him. 
“Chris, I need to take y/n to get checked out. Can you please go with Buck?” Eddie begged.
“No.” Chris was being stubborn. 
“Chris please,” Eddie was starting to get desperate.
“I want to stay with mom.” Chris yelled. 
You, Buck and Eddie all went still. Suddenly, the atmosphere had changed. Chris had never called you mom before. The three of you all looked at each other in shock unsure what to say or do next.
“Come here Chris,” you beckoned the boy, before helping him to sit on one side of the stretcher after you had collapsed the arms, “You can stay with me.”
Eddie was still looking at you in shock, starting to feel love swell in his chest. The idea that Chris saw you as a mother figure made him so happy. 
“Chris, it looks like your dad is frozen,” you laughed whilst looping one of your arms around the boy. You had managed to get him in a place where he wasn’t near your leg which was causing excruciating pain. 
This brought Eddie out of his shock and he walked over to the two of you.
“I love you both so much,” he breathed as he leant to kiss both of your foreheads, “Let’s go get mom all checked out.” 
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lover-of-mine · 2 months
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the-ace-with-spades · 10 months
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Eddie knew Buck was going to cry the first time Chris called him any variation of dad.
It'd been weeks since Chris asked Eddie about this and he'd been thinking about what to call Buck because I can't call you both dad, it'll get confusing. He had concluded that he was too big for daddy, father was way too serious for Buck, and they didn't talk enough in Spanish for papi to sound natural for Chris.
Despite that, Eddie wasn't surprised when finally, while Eddie and Bobby were lying the table at Athena's place and Buck was entertaining the kids with Maddie, he heard Chris grumble at Buck's lame joke, "Pops, that's so embarrassing."
He had expected Buck to cry and he did cry and he was holding Jee at that moment so she started crying, too, when she noticed her uncle crying and it looked comical.
Eddie couldn't not smile at the scene, fond.
He had expected Buck to cry but what he hadn't expected was for Bobby to cry.
And yet here he was, still holding a plate in his hands, practically sobbing silently next to Eddie.
"You know, Buck used to call me Pops too."
"He did?" Eddie asked because he didn't know what to do - he wasn't best at comforting people in general but that had just taken him aback on whole another level. "Why did he stop? I'm pretty sure you're more of a dad to him than his own father."
"I told him the station isn't a family," Bobby said. "Then I fired him."
Eddie had heard that Buck's been fired straight out of probation, but he had never heard the details. Definitely nothing about this.
"He got the job back on the same day but he has never called me Pops again since."
"Maybe you should tell him to call you that again, then," Eddie said, pointedly. "You know he's not the sharpest tool in the shed about this stuff."
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blueathens · 2 years
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Get On Like A House On Fire - Agape
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                         ACT 2, CHAPTER 5
SONG: The Village by Wrabel  QUOTE: ‘...But maybe one day, she won’t ever get back up.’
A/N: Not proofread or edited.
Previous || Next
Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist
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“So you didn’t want to teach the kids the wonders of being a firefighter?” Hen questioned Kasey as they sat at the back of the fire truck, headphones securely on their heads whilst the rest of the team looked between Hen and Kasey.
“Bobby purposely made sure I wasn’t on the rota for that time,” shrugs Kasey.
Eddie furrows his brows. “But aren’t you good with children?”
Bobby begins to chuckle. Hard. Almost out of character laugher. And Kasey would feel offended if she thought he was laughing at the idea of Kasey being good with children. But she knew he wasn’t laughing at that as the entire team knew she was good with youngsters.
If she wasn’t, then why would they usually make her be the firefighter to comfort the frightened kids on scene?
But the reasoning for Bobby’s laughter still made Kasey sink in her seat, pouting like a toddler as she huffed slightly.
Hen gave Kasey a teasing smile as she already knew what Bobby was thinking – it was the reason she asked the question in the first place.
Hen let out a small laugh.
“Last time I was allowed to do that,” Kasey begin, sending a small glare at the older firefighters for finding such humour in this mockery, “I may or may not have accidently sprayed all the children with the hose.”
Eddie and Buck’s eyebrows fly up.
“Excuse me?”
Kasey groans and sinks more in her seat, hands covering her face as she tried to hide the pink tint in her cheeks. “Please don’t make me repeat it.”
“I just don’t understand how someone can accidently–”
“Oh! Look!” Kasey interrupted, sitting up in her seat as she pointed at the neighbourhood that Chimney told the team to head towards. “Fire! We should go and put it out.”
“It’s almost like that’s our job,” Buck rolled his eyes at the sight of his best friend shooting a pointed glare his way.
“Dispatch, this is Captain 118.” Bobby states in his radio. “We’re at Doheny Park. Multiple residential structure fires. Send everything you can.”
“Copy that, 118.” Josh replies. “I’m trying to find additional resources for you, but you might be on your own for the next 15-20 minutes.”
“Copy that.”
“Shit, this is bad.” Commented Kasey as she gazes out her window, teeth digging into her bottom lip whilst her fingers clenched round her helmet that sat in her lap.
A man rushes towards the truck the moment they stopped, the 118 began to climb out to see him waving his arms in desperation and slamming a hand against the windscreen “Help! Help! You got to help!”
“Cap!”
“My son! He’s trapped upstairs!” He pointed towards his house that was burning down fast.
“Do you know where? Which room?”
“No, no, I haven’t seen him.”
Kasey moved to stand next to Eddie as the pair squinted in the direction of the house, searching windows to try and find any movements.
Eddie saw him first.
“Cap. I see him!” He points towards the window where a small boy waving his hands was. “Upstairs window!”
There was a much larger explosion, followed closely behind desperate yells from the man and young woman who tried to run towards the burning house, but was stopped by Kasey and Eddie who didn’t allow them to go any closer.
“Sir! Sir! Two!”
“All right. Get the ladder up to the house.” Bobby instructed Buck who dashed off to follow his instructions.
“I’ll check the driver, Cap!” Hen exclaims.
“My son is up there!” The man yelled in Kasey’s face who kept her hands on his arms, guiding him a bit further away from the burning house as she nodded to show her understanding.
“I know, sir. But if you go in there you will just put both you and your son in even more danger,” Kasey reasoned with him. “Let us do our jobs and we can bring him out safely.”
“You gotta save him!”
“We will. We will.” Eddie says as he looks over at the man who was still fearfully yelling into Kasey’s face whilst she just continued to professionally comfort and guide him away from being in more danger.
He then walks up towards Bobby whilst Kasey tried to handle the two panicked family members who continued to yell at her as if she had all the answers, but Kasey didn’t, all she could tell them was that they will get the son out, that’s all she could say as that was all she knew.
Kasey then scrunched her face up when she heard Eddie alerting Bobby that they didn’t have enough water to put out the fire, and this only made the family panic more as they asked her questions on how can she save the son if they don’t even have enough water?
Kasey wished she was elsewhere, she wished she didn’t have to try to think of barely-there-answers for the family who has just overheard some terrible news, and she knew that repeating herself wasn’t going to convince them that everything was going to be okay.
Buck, noticing his best friend’s silent panicked state, made his way over, gently guiding the family members much further away so they were no longer in the teams way or screaming in Kasey’s face. Strand let out a sigh, squeezing her eyes shut for a few seconds as she tried to calm her fast but yet tired heart rate down.
She believed it was going much faster than it should usually go, and she knew that could be due to the lack of sleep. Her body wasn’t functioning properly. She wasn’t functioning properly. And all she wanted was to go to rest for a bit, let the ground swallow her up and just let her body rest.
But she couldn’t.
She had a panicked family pacing a few meters away from her and a son trapped in the burning house in front of her. She had Eddie and Bobby talking about the water issue a few steps away from her and then she had her anxious self who couldn’t fully assimilate what was going around herself at times.
The only thing she could do was force herself to stay awake and to calm down as she continued her job.
“Strand!” Bobby’s voice yell and Kasey turns to look at her Captain. “Keep everyone back, okay? And help anyone who has any injuries.”
“Copy that,” she nods as she went began to gather a few other firefighters to aid her in her task, completely not noticing the quick look of worry that Bobby sent her way as he noticed the shake in her right hand.
The only time she looked back at the house was when she heard metal grinding, and she saw the ladder collapse and Buck falling, catching himself on the collapsed half of the ladder but it didn’t stop the blood-crawling scream that emitted from his best friend.
“Buck!”
Every ounce of Kasey wanted to run towards Buck and help him, but she couldn’t as she was holding a cloth against the side of a woman’s head to try and ease the bleeding whilst the firefighter next to her prepared a bandage.
Eddie then begins to climb the drainpipe.
“Eddie!”
He ignores his teams calls.
“He’s fucking insane.” Kasey mutters as she raises from the kneeling position she once was in to go and find another person who may need her help, whilst her eyes stayed glued onto Eddie’s climbing figure. “Fucking insane. Who does he think he is? Firefighter Romeo?”
Kasey knew though that Eddie was doing the right thing, well the Kasey thing. If Kasey was able to initiate an idea, it probably would become a similar idea of what Eddie was doing right now.
'I’ve been a bad influence on him,' Kasey thought with a shake of her head before she crouched down to look at a casualties hand.
“I feel like if either Kasey or me did something like that, you would yell at us,” Buck says and Bobby turns his head to look at him, giving him a look that told Buck that his statement was correct.
“Thought your boy was going to become Santa Clause for a moment there,” the man said as he watched the scene in front of him whilst Kasey cleaned up his hand. “But instead he become James Bond and crashed through the window like he does it every Tuesday evening.”
Kasey hums. “He prefers films of romance than action films,” Kasey looks up with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes and with her left index she pressed it against her lips to usher him to be quiet as she threw him a playful wink. “But don’t tell him I told you that.”
“Yeah,” she looks over her shoulder. “Let me know when he comes out the house so I can yell at him for his stupidity,” her eyes shifts down to the ground. “Then I’ll give him his stupid hug.”
“How kind of you.” The man leans his head back against the tree, squeezing his eyes shut when he hears a curse leaving Kasey’s lips as she notices the wound in his leg. He opens them when he hears the comforting sound of her reassuring that it’s nothing bad and that she be able to quickly sort it out.
“I think,” the man smiles, shaking his head to himself before smiling bigger when he notices Kasey looking at him again, “I think the man would much rather a kiss.”
Kasey shook her head, sputtering out words as she quickly tried to deny the everything the man just suggested. “Oh no, no, I got – I’m seeing someone, and he’s got this sleeping arrangement with his wife, who isn’t his wife anymore, but she kinda is and – it’s complicated.”
The man didn’t look too convinced.
“Besides we’re just friends.”
“I always said the same thing about my wife,” the man chuckles, a sincere smile tugging at his lips at the thought of his wife. “It wall bullshit though, but we never said anything till much later on because we were scared. But everyone knew, even us eventually, but you can’t be friends with someone who looks at you as if you’re the reason the world has eight wonders.
Kasey laughs, “there’s only seven wonders of the world.”
“Not when the person you look at is the eighth.” He utters. “For me, my wife is the eighth wonder of the world. For you, it’s that James Bond wannabe, and for him, it’s you. You’re his eighth world wonder.”
“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” Kasey pokes her tongue against the inside of her cheek whilst she finally wraps a bandage around his knee. “One of those people who describes love to a metaphor.”
“You’ve never been in love, have you?”
“It’s not something I understand.”
“You will eventually.” The guy looks towards the house. “But if I was you, I wouldn’t wait for too long. You don’t want your something good to be taken from you. That another reason why it took a while for me to get with my wife.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Okay,” he hums, “but don’t do anything stupid because you’ll regret it.”
Kasey just nods, before standing up as another firefighter took over to guide the man towards the back of their ambulance along with a few other people who awaited for more to show up.
“The smoke of the fire must be getting to his head,” Kasey mutters to herself as she begins to make her way back towards Buck and Bobby to question them on Eddie’s status, but she stumbled back as she watched in horror as another explosion within the house went off.
The guy next to her screamed for his son, whilst Kasey called for her friend.
“Cap!” Kasey rushed over towards Bobby. “Let me go in there – let me help Eddie – I need to help–”
“No, no, no,” Buck gently pushes Kasey to the side, as he makes his way round the fire truck. “You’re body isn’t healthy enough for a situation like that, Kas. I’ll do i–”
Bobby raises a hand in the air. “No. Wait.”
Kasey spins on her heels at the sound of an aeroplane’s engine roaring, and it sounded close too, she glances round to see people looking in the sky with confused expressions, but with a quick shake to her head to wake her mind up, she quickly ushered them elsewhere, telling them that they need to get cover.
Bobby overheard Kasey and yelled, “incoming! Everybody, take cover!”
Kasey sent a worried look towards the house before being dragged down to the ground by Buck who jumped down from the fire truck to get the pair of them to crawl under it.
His hand instantly grabs her, squeezing it to try and let her tired body know that everyone would be okay, but Buck watched Kasey’s tired eyes flutter and he wondered if Kasey was truly going to be okay after all of this, because looking at her now, it looks like she could past out from extreme exhaustion in any minute, and it made Buck wonder how she has been hiding this for so long.
“Holy shit,” Buck heard his friend mutter next to him, “that’s a shit ton of water.”
Buck didn’t reply as he continued to stare at the side of her face with worry, ignoring as the water fell above them. It was easy to ignore when he allowed his mind to finally settle on his friend who special talent was hiding all this pain.
She needed sleep.
And after this Buck knew he was going to wrap her up and make her into a blanket burrito and stay with her until she fell asleep.
Buck snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed Kasey pull herself out from under the truck, standing onto her feet as she did a little shake – Buck didn’t know if this was her way of keeping her body to stay awake, or if it was just a random Kasey action.
She walked towards the house, anxiously waiting for any movements or a response back over the radio after Bobby asked if he could hear them. Her hands were shaking, but she hide that by patting the front of her thighs.
The front door was kicked to be opened further, and Eddie walks out with the boy in his arms, Kasey calls for his name as if it was a pray. She rushed towards him and watched as he gently laid the child down onto the ground.
The moment she heard the boy gasp, Kasey span and punched Eddie gently in the chest, before she brought him into a tight hug.
Her arms were round his neck, and his easily found comfort round her waist as he too held her closely. He gently swayed as he just breathed in the moment of Kasey hugging him.
“You’re okay,” she whispers. “Your James Bond arse is okay.”
“My what?” Eddie chuckles, frowning slightly when he feels Kasey pulling away from the hug before replacing his frown with a small smile as he took in the stupidly adorable smile she had on her face.
“Nothing,” she says, and Eddie shakes his head before wrapping his arm around her shoulder, bringing her close into his side.
“I really want some pizza after all of this.”
Kasey hums, “you deserve it.”
“You want to come back to mine for some?”
“Won’t Shannon be there?” She asks, she didn’t want to intervene with anything, and she had this feeling that the woman didn’t like her very much, despite the pair having any actual conversation between one another.
“No,” Eddie shakes his head, “just me and Christopher.”
“Ah,” Kasey wraps her own arm around her waist as she rested against the man a little more comfortably, “my favourite Diaz.”
“I’m ignoring you said that.”
“You always do.”
Buck pats Eddie on the back as he stands on the other side of him. “What was the Spider-Man routine.”
Eddie closes his eyes for a second. “I don’t know. I just did it. And prayed a lot.”
Bobby then copies Buck’s actions, “yeah, it looks like someone was listening.”
Buck looked at Kasey, eyebrow raising as he nodded his head off to the side, gesturing for her to come with him as he obviously wanted to say something. She slipped out from Eddie’s hold and made her way towards Buck who sat himself down on a patch of grass under a tree.
“You alright?” Kasey questioned as she sat herself down next to him.
“You know,” he turns to look at Kasey, his eyes no longer on the conscious kid. He needed Kasey to hear his words, to let her know that she can trust him, that he was there for her. “You’re kind of my comfort person.”
Her face scrunches up as she lets out a breathless laugh.
“You’re that one person who just makes me feel better no matter what.” He bumps her shoulder. “Like I could be having the worst day ever, but I could just look at you and I would feel okay. And I would be able to tell you anything because I know you wouldn’t judge me.” Buck pauses. “You’re my best friend and I–”
“You’re kind of my comfort person too, Buck.” Was all Kasey responded with and she knew that was something Buck needed to hear, she knew it was a way to keep him at bay before he would combust with worry over her – she knew this was his way to tell her he was there.
And she knew, but she didn’t know if she actually wanted people to help her – she didn’t feel broken, she didn’t feel like she needed to be fixed…she was just tied.
And what else should she say? That she has a fear of going back to her apartment? That would be ridiculous because who would be afraid of their own house?
Kasey felt ridiculous, but she hid it behind a smile and told her friends – her family – that she was okay, and Kasey was sure that the more she says it, the more she would be able to pretend she was.
And to her, she was okay.
She’s always been okay because she’s Kasey Strand.
She always gets back up.
...But maybe one day, she won’t ever get back up.
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ecoamerica · 15 days
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thisissirius · 15 days
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Do you think they're gonna fight?
hmmmmm
it might go something like this
"What is your problem?"
The words ring through the weird echo in Buck's kitchen. Eddie's furious, the lines of his body tense, holding himself apart from Buck.
Which shouldn't be as life-changing as it feels.
"Eddie," Buck says, fingers tight around the counter. "I thought you were out with Tommy."
"I was," Eddie says slowly, and there's confusion in the way he stares at Buck, a little betrayed, a little hurt. "You said you were busy tonight, but then Maddie sent a text. You told her we were going out?"
Fuck.
Buck shrugs, sliding his beer bottle off the counter. "Does it matter?"
"You're lying to your sister, to me, and you're asking if it matters?"
It's not lying. It's preservation. Buck can't—can't do this. "You were having fun, I was having fun," as if, "everything is fine."
Eddie watches him as he crosses the kitchen, cradling the beer bottle in his hands. Buck wants him to leave, to let him have this, whatever it is, in private. "You don't lie to me."
"Yeah well, people change," Buck mutters, because the hurt lances through him. Eddie and Tommy, getting on better, their relationship so effortless when Buck was jealous and angry and, and, and. "Tommy's—"
"I don't care about Tommy right now," Eddie says, coming to stand on the other side of the counter. "I care about you and whatever you have going on! it's not like you, Buck, and you can talk to me, you know you can."
Buck opens his mouth, closes it. "Not this. Not this."
There's definitely hurt in Eddie's expression, but he turns before Buck gets a good look. "Aren't we," Eddie starts, cuts off. His shoulders fall, sag a little. "Alright, Buck. Just—there's nothing you can tell me that I wouldn't—"
"Eddie," Buck whispers. He always thought it would be some furious thing, angry and heavy with emotion. Instead, he feels desperate, knows that if Eddie leaves like this, tension and hurt between them, it won't matter anymore.
"I think I might be bisexual!"
The words fall faster than he can stop them. It settles like lead in his stomach and he takes an involuntary step backwards.
Eddie turns, his eyes widening a fraction, his mouth closing. He stares.
The stretch is long enough that Buck starts to panic, feels something claw at his chest and it's tight, so tight, he definitely need to be somewhere else, anywhere else.
"Why would that," Eddie starts, cutting himself off.
Eddie's not stupid, of course he's not, but Buck hopes, begs, that he thinks it's Tommy, that Buck's like this because—
"Buck," Eddie says.
Shit. "Eddie, I don't—"
"Look at me." Eddie's words are soft, so soft. Buck wants to look up but he can't, he can't. Not if he wants to keep breathing or standing or doing anything that isn't collapsing because this is Eddie and he's, he's, everything.
Feet move into his periphery, fingers curling around his bicep.
"Buck," Eddie says again, this time firmer. "Buddy, look at me."
Like he's moving through mud, chest still tight, body warm, Buck is helpless to do anything but look up. Eddie looks the same way he always does. Buck isn't sure what that means; aren't things supposed to change? To shift beyond comprehension?
"Me?"
The word shouldn't be so life-changing. It's two letters, but it feels like so much more as Buck stares at his best friend. He wants to say yes, wants to run, but whatever Eddie sees in his face must say everything he can't.
"Shit." Eddie's fingers rest against Buck's collar, and he tips his head forward. Their foreheads touch and Buck doesn't know what to say, what to do. "Your timing, man."
Buck swallows. "I didn't know, not really. Not until—"
"Tommy," Eddie says. "Did you think—?"
"It seemed so easy, you and him," Buck starts.
"It is," Eddie agrees, shaking Buck a little. "But that doesn't mean anything against you. How could it? How could anyone come close to you?"
It's—Buck's fingers curl slowly around Eddie's waist, hooking in his jacket. "I'm sorry," he says, "about the lying, about not telling you. I couldn't, I didn't want to ruin anything."
"I know." Eddie sighs, pulling back, but his hand stays on Buck's collarbone, thumb rubbing against the exposed skin. "I'm so proud of you for saying it."
Something loosens in Buck's shoulders. "Thanks."
"But," Eddie says, and the lead is back, molten and hot in Buck's stomach. "I can't—Marisol and Chris," Eddie starts. "I need to speak to them and I can't, I need—"
The words trail off into silence.
Buck stares at Eddie, at the stricken expression, the concern. "I'm not going anywhere."
A smile curves Eddie's face and god, how could Buck have thought he'd be okay with this losing this? With letting Eddie go and being alone?
"It doesn't have to be now," Buck says, finding himself back on familiar ground. "You're the forever kind of guy, Eddie."
Eddie looks gut-punched, and his fingers flex against Buck's collarbone, tugs him forward by his shirt. A kiss brushes against Buck's temple, and Eddie drags him into a hug. "You're something else, Evan."
The hug is warm, tight, and Buck clings to the back of Eddie's jacket. He feels wrung out, worn and used, and he buries his face in Eddie's neck. "I'm sorry."
"Shut up," Eddie says gently. "It's not an easy thing to say."
Buck doesn't ask what about you or why did you come here or you make me so fucking happy.
Eddie doesn't say I don't know or I'll always come for you or you're the forever kind of guy, too.
Eventually, they will.
For now, it's enough.
or something :)
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chronicowboy · 2 months
Text
Maddie humbles him pretty severely in their conversation. Look, he knows it's stupid, knows it's selfish really, knows it's just plain crappy of him. But. But he hurt Christopher. And there wasn't some big uncontrollable variable like a tsunami that Eddie can explain it away with.
Sure, it was an accident, but it still happened. Sure, it was only a few scrapes that he'd cleaned up almost immediately with the little first aid kit tucked into the glove compartment of his Jeep - and, well, maybe part of the guilt is the way Christopher had grimaced at the added sting of the antiseptic wipes. But he'd done it. He'd made Christopher cry. And he'd ran as soon as Eddie swept in to take care of him. He'd ran before either of them could tell him to get out.
Christopher is injured, and Buck hasn't been to see him once. Christopher is injured because of Buck, and he's only checked in through a much too knowing Eddie. Because he's a coward, especially when it comes to Christopher. Jesus, nothing in the world scares him more than Christopher. Everything's so big and inconceivable with him. Buck feels it all, feels it all so strongly. The things he'd do for that kid... Well, that scares him too. Almost as much as Christopher's anger does, but he can't run from it forever. He can't stay away forever, so he shoots Eddie a quick text as he leaves Maddie's.
Can I come see Chris at some point?
He's just buckling himself into the driver's seat when his phone buzzes with a reply.
Get over here
Another buzz.
Now
His already knotted stomach twists into an even more complex shape as he turns the key in the ignition, but he has to face the music some time or another. May as well be now.
It takes him an inordinately long and nauseating time to get to the Diaz door, an even longer time to actually knock and then a terrifyingly short amount of time for Eddie to be appearing before him with those big, understanding eyes he can never seem to escape.
"Hi," he mumbles, suddenly struck with what image he must make out there on the porch. A naughty dog with a guiltily hung head and a tail between his legs just waiting to be patted on the head and told he's forgiven.
"Buck, come in." Eddie rolls his eyes and practically drags him inside. Buck had been about ninety-nine per cent sure (okay, maybe more like eighty) that Eddie's texts had been fond exasperation and not actual anger, but it's not until he hears Eddie's voice that he knows for sure. He was never a bad dog in Eddie's mind. Buck's tail wags just a little as Eddie leans back against the hallway wall with his arms folded over his chest. "He's in his room and he misses his Buck."
"Even after I almost killed him?" he mutters petulantly.
"Buck, you tripped over his crutches. The both of you went down and, honestly, you walked away worse than he did." Buck opens his mouth to argue, but Eddie ploughs on. "Don't lie to me. I saw those bruises on your ribs last shift. I know how weaponised those elbows can become."
"I'm fine."
"So is he," Eddie says seriously. "You know how many times I've tripped over his crutches?"
"Did you feel guilty about it afterwards?" Buck pries, eyes trained on his shoes where they kick lightly, sheepishly at the carpet.
"Of course, I did. I always do. Hell, I accidentally got some salt in his eyes when we were cooking the other day and I almost took myself down to Athena's station." Eddie shakes his head, unimpressed. "I'm his dad, I'd send him outside in a bubble wrap suit if I could. But I've been informed that isn't 'cool'," Buck snorts, "so I'm trying my best to make peace with the fact that that he's going to get hurt and I'm not always going to be stop it. But." Eddie steps closer, drops a hand to Buck's shoulder, ducks his hand to catch his eye. And Buck feels the echo of a wave and three ragged scratches across his face. "But I can always be there after it happens, to pick him back up and tend to his wounds, yeah?"
"Yeah," Buck whispers, nodding against the whirring of his brain.
"He's already mostly healed up. Go and see for yourself." Eddie leaves with a pointed look at Christopher's door, and Buck stays staring down the hallway like he can will it into something that feels a little less like a walk on the plank.
As he takes his first step, for just a moment, he wishes he was back in the endless labyrinthine hallways of his coma dream just to postpone his fate a little longer.
See, what he hadn't told Maddie was that he had actually tried texting Christopher a few days after their tumble. A sorry and an I hope you're okay and a jokey maybe we should leave basketball to the pros which had only gleaned a thumbs up emoji in response. So, he's not feeling very optimistic when he knocks on Christopher's door.
"Who is it?"
"It's Buck, buddy." Silence. A sigh maybe, if he strains. "C-can I come in?"
Another pause.
"Fine."
Buck pushes into the room with his heart in his throat. Christopher doesn't look up from his textbook where he's propped up against his headboard, just carries on reading. Buck approaches carefully, hovering at the end of the bed where he'd normally just sit.
"How are you doing?" he asks uselessly.
"Fine."
"Yeah?" Christopher only shrugs, and Buck sighs in defeat. "I'm really sorry, bud. I didn't mean to do it, you have to know that. I'd never ever do anything to hurt you-"
"Wait." Chris finally looks up from his book with his frown. "Do you think I'm mad because you tripped me up?"
"I-I, well, yeah." Buck blinks. "So, you are mad?"
"Yeah, I'm mad, but not about that." Chris groans and slams his book shut. "Why'd you disappear?"
"B-because I thought you'd be mad at me for, you know, hurting you," Buck says dumbly. Christopher rolls his eyes so similarly to Eddie's earlier expression that Buck aches with it.
"You didn't hurt me. Gravity hurt us."
"But you're mad at me."
"Because you disappeared!" Chris bursts. Buck's mouth snaps shut with a click. "Everything's changing. You and me and dad barely ever hang out anymore. And I know I'm getting older, so I shouldn't want to, but I do. But you're both dating, so it's always just the one of you. Or the three of us and a stranger. And I hate it. And the last time this happened, you promised you weren't going anywhere, but you did! And I want you both to be happy, and I really don't want dad to feel so lonely now I'm growing up, but I wish..." Christopher ducks his head as if suddenly realising he'd revealed too much.
"You wish?" Buck asks on the exhale of a breath he'd been holding since Christopher's little outburst, something fierce and jagged latching itself to his sternum.
"I wish you both could be happy with..." He shrinks into himself a little, and Buck wraps his hand around the footboard like a lifeline - like whatever Christopher is about to say will turn the world upside down. "I wish this was enough. I wish the three of us could make you both as happy as-as it makes me." He flushes and cracks his textbook open. "It sounds dumb when I say it."
"No, no," Buck croaks, something big and unwieldy expanding against the inside of his ribs, something that could choke him if he let it. "It doesn't sound dumb at all."
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dinogoose · 2 months
Text
Right there, looking distorted through the peephole is Eddie.
Eddie, who Buck wasn’t expecting. But, hey, he’s never one to turn down the company of the man he’s been silently pining for, so he opens the door.
“Hey, what’re you-“ The blond begins before pausing as he takes in the full form of Eddie. And boy is it something. Because currently he is dressed to the nines. Full three-piece suit, vest, cuff links, even a pocket square. Buck is suddenly worried there’s no oxygen left in his apartment.
“Uh- wow- you look great man, where are you headed?” Buck asks, vocally and probably visibly flustered. Eddie sidesteps him and walks further into his loft, ignoring Buck.
Buck shuts the door and turns to look at him once more, trying to sear the image of him in a suit into his brain.
“I am going on a date.” Eddie finally speaks, a happy and vaguely smug grin set on his lips. Buck tilts his head in confusion, feeling his heart sink.
“Oh… that’s cool, you look great.” He repeats dumbly. “Who’s the lucky lady?” Buck asks reluctantly.
“You.”
(the ‘surprise we’re going on a date!’ fic ft. confident eddie)
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mvltisstuff · 4 months
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santa baby - e.b **
Tumblr media
summary: christmas eve shenanigans by the tree
evan buckley x reader
smut!!
things sped up very quickly after athena’s christmas eve party. eventually, the candles burnt out and denny, along with other children, had to be tucked into bed before santa came tumbling on their roofs.
the innocence of the night was wearing off as buck stared at y/n in her tight red dress with the straight neckline. her arms were perfectly strung by her sides with the champagne glass in her hand. her rounded breasts were contoured by the golden lighting in athena’s room, and buck wanted to slap himself.
he hated feeling so turned on in the middle of a celebration for the holidays, but he couldn’t help but feel himself pushing against the fabric of his pants. the tingling sense in his stomach only grew when he saw y/n push her hair behind her shoulder, showing her sexy collarbones on which her long, gold necklace dangled over.
eddie’s sly comments were just faint sounds in bucks ear, teasing him for practically eye-fucking his girl from across the room. so, they were the next to leave.
buck had to stop himself from dragging her over the gearshift of his jeep and pulling her onto his lap. he wanted to feel the way her dress bunched up on her waist and then slowly peel it off her body as she begging for more.
“buck, slow down,” y/n asked, a slight chuckle in her voice looking at bucks white knuckles on the wheel. “it’s all fun and games until you get a ticket.”
“just wait til you see what im gonna do to you when we’re home. you’re gonna want me going faster.”
“oh.” y/n mumbled, shuffling in her seat, feeling the warmth in her lower stomach grow. she honestly thought buck was having a normal night, but she also knew what she was doing when she pulled that dress out of her closet. she slid her control center up on her phone, quickly turning on do not disturb for the night ahead of her.
he pulled frantically into the parking garage, running to her side of the door and grabbing her hand to pull her in.
“jesus, buck slow down!” she laughed. “you’re gonna rip my arm out of the socket.” she shut the door behind her quietly, noticing how late it was and not wanting to disturb anyone.
the moment she spun around, his hands were back on her sides, floating down her back and pushing his fingers into her ass. his lips were onto hers like a magnet, his soft kiss leaving stars in her mind. she could only faintly smell the whiskey on his lips, the one he sipped at while his dick was begging to be touched by her. he allowed her to fall into him, her hands touching the sides of his face and the back of his neck. he moved his legs quickly, pulling them into the living room. he sat her on the couch before sneakily scurrying away.
“what-“ she didn’t even have time to ask before he came back downstairs, his arms flooding with every pillow in the house. he slammed them onto the floor, right in front of the tree. “you do know we have a couch, right?”
“what’s the fun in that? c’mon,” he leans into her ear, his arms wrapping around her hips. “don’t lie and say you’ve never wanted me to fuck you under this tree?”
her mouth went slightly agape, shocked at his eagerness to please and the fantasies speeding through his head. “show me you’re not all talk then.”
he scooped her up, bending his knees to the ground and laying her on the pillows. he unstrapped her heels, throwing them across the room as she lay back against the cool, silky pillows. one of the straps of her dress was already sinking down her shoulder, practically begging buck to kiss all over her already. y/n propped herself up on her elbows, tugging at his shirt as he kissed her aggressively.
she felt his thick arms under the shirt, getting wetter just thinking about his muscles on top of her. buck placed his hands over y/n’s, leading them to the bottom of his shirt where she pulled it up, revealing his sexy figure and where his confidence rose. she just undid a few of the buttons on his pants before he couldn’t handle the wait. he stripped down completely, leaving his naked body to her view only.
it felt unfair for just him to be completely on display, and he only wanted to see her beautiful body in front of him. he started inching the dress up, leaning his body down to her thighs. he planted sweet kisses on her inner thighs, sucking and nipping at the skin. he eventually got to the point where the dress was on the floor, discarded somewhere with their other garments.
his large hands ran over her body, cupping her boobs and squeezing them lightly, in the most teasing way. he always knew how to get her where he wanted her, and he knew she was ready for him now. “shit.”
he placed a hand on her lower back, leaning her up to unhook her bra with one hand. he tossed it behind his head, earning a gentle giggle from y/n. he looked back rapidly, staring at her hardened nipples and bending down to connect his mouth.
his fingers were pinching and circling her left while his tongue worked on the right, getting the perfect amount of stimulation to get y/n all worked up. he loved to see the blush on her face, seeing her get all flustered and horny from his kisses. he sucked all around the skin on her tits, leaving small marks over her.
once he saw that she was fully content, he pecked a bit on her stomach, moving back to her inner thighs, just getting closer to her center. his fingers wrapped around the edge of her thong, pulling it down to fully reveal her wet pussy, the one that belonged to him.
“you’re actually the hottest person i’ve ever seen,” he said, connecting his eyes with her own as she smiled down at him. “just wanna taste you.”
his hands were placed on her knees, spreading her legs as far as they would go and settling himself in between. his fingers ran up her smoothly, the way they always do but make her feel ecstatic. he got his first moan as he circled his wet fingers around her clit, letting his fingers warm her up before his mouth was on her.
he licked and kissed at her lips as if they were just like her face, guiding the almost whimsical noises to leave her mouth. his arm was hooked under her thigh, his hand just by the top of her pubic bone. he lifted her up slightly to connect his lips to her clit, starting to suck again.
y/n’s hands reached down, lightly tugging at bucks growing hair in between her legs. she adored the way his hands were resting on her body as he ate her out and how lovingly he did it. he hit every spot that she needed to get off as she grinded on his tongue as it circled around her pussy.
as he kept licking at her favorite places, she came with a firework that left stars in her eyes and her chest heavy. her lungs filled with air, trying to catch up to the pleasurable feeling in her groin.
“buck!” y/n moans out. “god, buck i’m gonna cum.”
“cum for me, baby.” his deep voice vibrates against her cunt, instantly sparking up her entire body and leaving shocks throughout it. she clenched around nothing but the feeling of bucks mouth working her through her orgasm, her wetness being already around by his tongue.
when he finally released his hold on her legs and removed his mouth from her sensitive clit, buck pushed himself up onto his knees.
he connected his lips with hers once again, y/n now able to taste her sweet pussy on his lips. the way he treated her taste like an expensive wine just made it even better as he pushed his lips harder against hers. his tongue forced itself into her mouth, rocking against her own in a perfect rhythm. he used her mouth like he was starving, and he couldn’t help himself. the mix of her juices and her chapstick was the ultimate turn on, just making his dick grow harder.
“god, i wanna fuck you so bad.” buck groans, dragging his lips down her neck and sucking harshly on the skin.
“please fuck me already. i wanna feel you inside of me.” y/n begged, and buck could hear it in her voice how badly she wanted him.
y/n reached down, stroking bucks dick and pumping it a few times before leading it down to her pussy.
he ran his dick through her folds, collecting the mix of juices from her pussy and his own spit. the noises that she made as he grinded himself against here were heavenly, sounds that could turn him on faster than anything. the feeling of bucks body on top of her was unreal, almost like a dream. she reached up to grip his muscles as his hands moves down her waist.
he finally slid himself into her vagina, allowing himself to feel her tightness around his dick. he moaned out loudly, as if it were the first time he was ever in her. “holy shit, baby.” buck reached up through the pillows, taking y/n’s hands off her face. “don’t cover that pretty face.”
“you feel so fucking good.”
buck intwined his fingers with hers, bending her arms and pulling her hands up to the side of her head. he, in the most romantic way possible, rubbed her hands with his thumbs as he fucked her at the perfect place, hitting the amazing spots in her to make her moan out in pleasure.
he thrusted in her so hard, making her back arch off the pillows and making it difficult for her lungs to fill with air. the familiar sense started to creep up on her again, the bubble inside her threatening to burst.
“im so close, y/n, god,” buck groans out, not breaking the speed or rhythm of his thrusts. the only noises in the room were the wet sound of buck inside her and their practically synchronized moans of pleasure.
“you’re gonna make me cum, buck.”
“cum with me, baby, i got you.” buck continued to force himself into her, just the way she loves. he saw the way her face scrunched up and how her mouth dropped open with her blushed cheeks. the look in her eyes signaled how close she was, knowing they’d come together soon.
both of their legs shook as he came inside of her, spilling into her tight pussy. his thrusts slowed down, seeing his cum cover his dick and make a mess of her cunt. he leaned forward, shamelessly moaning into y/n’s ear as they both rode out their orgasms, using the other to their advantage.
“you’re so beautiful.” buck looks to the side, his nose lightly touching the side of y/n’s face before she tilts it.
“says you,” y/n winks, moaning again as buck pushes his fingers inside of her, attempting to clean the mess of juices and cum that they left. he pulls his hand up, letting y/n suck them and taste themselves mixed together.
buck rolls fully on his back, dragging y/n on top of him as she straddles him. “i love you so much.”
“i love you too, honey,” buck replies, kissing her lips again. “merry christmas, sexy.”
y/n laughs, gazing down at him and his goofy grin. “merry christmas, buck.”
“wait til you see what i got us for christmas.”
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watchyourbuck · 12 days
Text
do you mind? im pining
Eddie lifted his glass, bringing it to his lips, but just as he was about to take a sip, his gaze shifted, and he saw Tommy reach for Buck’s hand, their fingers intertwining. Water sprayed from Eddie’s nose and down his chin as a violent cough erupted from his throat.
He slammed his glass onto the table, sitting upright as he coughed into his hand. His eyes watered, but he couldn’t tear them away from the scene before him.
He hadn’t imagined it.
They were holding hands.
OR: 7x05 spec fic. Buck and Tommy have their first date. Eddie is jealous about it. (Includes Buck and Tommy making out at the loft + Eddie dealing with complicated feelings towards his best friend).
Read on ao3
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