#eddie is making his face because he hates having to share with taylor

[thewolvesof1998]

Hello!!!!!!!! I remember being heavily invested in LA zoo TikTok Buck before (any updates???? 🥺👉👈) but I also wanna ask about You belong with me? (Although tbf I wanna know about all of them 😊) 💞🦛

Hi Hippo!

@mangacat201 also asked after LA zoo TikTok Buck. Sadly there have been no updates on it until now when this scene popped into my head, enjoy!

Eddie looks over to the closed door where his son is sleeping before clicking on the video. Unlike on the LA Zoo TikTok account, where Buck is usually wearing his uniform, Buck is naked from the waist up in this video. He's standing at a kitchen counter, chopping fruit for his morning smoothie. He's talking about the origins of smoothies, which Eddie had never thought about before and very likely wouldn't have found very interesting if it wasn't for this gorgeous man talking about it. He clicks on the comment section and just as he expects most of the comments are about how hot Buck is, how they would love to wake up to that in the mornings. Eddie snorts some of the more ridiculous comments. Eddie types out the comment 'Really interesting information, thanks for sharing!' and hits send before he places his phone down on the coffee table. He tries to focus on the telenovela but his eyes keep going back to his phone. He sighs and picks it up again and starts scrolling through Buck's videos. Most of them are like the first, Buck making food and talking about some random fact. Eddie finds himself smiling stupidly at how enthusiastic Buck is about all the differing topics. It kinda reminds him of how Chris gets when talking about his current favourite thing. Eddie ends up saving some of the videos that he knows his son will find interesting before finally hitting that follow button.

'You Belong with me' fic is inspired by Taylor Swift's song of the same name. Basically at 12, the Buckley's move to El Paso and their new neighbours are the Diaz's:

And you've got a smile, That can light up this whole town (I haven't seen it in a while) Evan was twelve years old when his parents packed him up and left Hershey and Maddie behind. Maddie, his best friend, his older sister and the only one in their family that actually cared about him. She had told them at Friday night dinner that Doug had proposed and she had said yes, it was just a week early that they had found out that she and Doug were moving to Boston. The two siblings had both waited with baited breaths because they knew that their parents would not take the news well. But Evan never thought they would pack and leave her behind. He could still see Maddie’s tear-streaked face, her words still ringing in his ears: “You can’t just leave me behind and forget me like you did with him!” Evan didn’t know who ‘he’ was and from the flinch from both his parents, he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know. His unusual thirst for knowledge had dried up as he stared at Maddie through the rear window, curled up on herself, making her seem even smaller than she already was. Evan was twelve when he met his next-door neighbours, the perfect little family, three children and two parents who love their kids. He was twelve when he met Eddie Diaz, the perfect son and decided to hate him. He was also twelve when he decided that he didn’t really hate Eddie Diaz anymore and they became the best of friends. 

Thanks for asking! 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

#9-1-1 #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #wolf gets mail #wolf answers #buddie fic #thewolvesof1998 writes

[spotsandsocks]

Like Lovers Do

14.4K Mature

Cover art by @ronordmann

Chim shrugs an apology as he makes a quick exit from the table and the situation he just created with a casual comment. Buck consoles himself with the fact that at least he looks a little sorry this time, not like the last time he dropped Buck in it over this particular mistake. 

The atmosphere around the table had taken a sharp left turn into awkward when Chimney had  jokingly referenced Buck’s brief and unfortunate liaison with the blonde currently laughing with Hen on the other side of the room. 

Buck silently curses as Eddie stares him down from the opposite side of the table.

Chim’s long gone, he abandoned the situation the second he realised Eddie hadn’t known about the kiss, so now Buck’s all alone with his best friend; usually he likes being alone with Eddie but this is definitely not his idea of a good time. 

Eddie’s looking at him with his lips pursed and eyebrows raised. It’s obvious he has questions about this new piece of information. Buck squirms under the scrutiny. He’d rather be anywhere else right now. 

In a cool voice the questioning starts; “You kissed Lucy? You never told me that.”

That’s true he hadn’t told him. Buck had kind of been hoping Eddie would never have to find out because he’s not proud of that particular moment. 

It was a mistake, such a huge mistake, one he preferred not to think about. He’d never cheated before, had always hated the concept and he knows he never would again. Buck had spent weeks trying to work out why he’d let it happen, why he’d kissed back, then kissed again. Even now he hates thinking about it although at least now he understands the why a bit more than he had then. 

Being back in therapy will do that. Over the last year, longer really  things had gotten pretty mixed up and dark in his head.  He’d hardly noticed the spiral downwards, it had been so slow and steady, it had just become normal for him to feel that way. He hadn’t noticed but Eddie had. 

He’d laugh if it was funny; as Eddie had worked through his issues and found his balance Buck had lost his, but Eddie had seen him, noticed what was happening and been there to steady him when he tripped and stumbled.

When things got really bad, the cumulative effects of so many parts of his life, Eddie had gently suggested Buck start talking to a therapist again. Eddie’s apparently a big fan of therapy these days. 

So he had and now he’s spent a fair number of hours talking about all the things that pull at his heart and twist his thoughts and some of those things definitely contributed to the moment that Eddie’s only just found out about. 

His best friend knows a lot about him but he doesn't know everything, god no, not everything. The kiss is only one of the things he’s been keeping to himself. 

Eddie’s still waiting for details and he doesn’t look very impressed with the delay. Unable to see an escape Buck plunges in with the truth.

“It, it was just a stupid thing I did.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything, Buck knows what he’s doing and falls for it anyway, he fills the gap with more words, desperate to avoid the silence.

“I was just embarrassed to tell you, you know, because of all the stupid. It wasn’t like I was deliberately not, not telling you.”

It totally was.

“it just didn’t come up.” 

Eddie frowns “Why’d you do it?”

That’s a big question and the answer is more complicated than he wants to get into with the man opposite him. He goes with half an answer, half the truth, the parts that can safely be shared.

Avoiding Eddie’s eyes he explains the best he can “I was unhappy with Taylor.” 

He doesn’t add the rest - because I wasn’t in love with her, I was just clinging to an illusion. Taylor had been another mistake he made. He knows more about that choice as well now.

“and I was drunk” 

Eddie pulls a face, eyebrows shooting up even higher.

“Neither one is an excuse” he adds quickly “I know that.”

“When?”

He fudges that with “a while ago,” and a quieter,  “when you were at dispatch”.

That’s all he’s going to say because the rest of the answer he needs to keep to himself. Eddie can’t know about all of it. They can’t talk about that. 

Weeks of therapy have let Buck see what else played a part in his monumentally stupid decision that evening and he can hardly tell Eddie what he’s worked out. 

No - he can’t imagine a universe where he drops that particular bombshell on his friend.  As if he could just sit down next to Eddie and casually say, ‘hey, did you know I kissed Lucy once and guess what… I’ve worked out that I did it because I was miserable with Taylor and without you. I did it because you told me to move on and didn’t show up that night, because you left me behind and I didn’t know what to do with that feeling.

And the real kicker; his biggest secret, the root of the problem, the thing that they don’t (can’t?) talk about, the thing that laid the first stone in the path to his poor choices.

Well, how is he supposed to explain that, can he say ‘oh yeah and one more thing; you got shot in front of me and it changed me. I had your blood on my face, on my lips and I can still taste it. 

No, he can hardly say that, he can’t say ‘I didn’t know what to do with my feelings about you nearly dying so I kissed Taylor to chase away the taste of your blood and when that didn’t work I kissed Lucy too.’

Not that it was Eddie’s fault, of course it wasn’t, what’s happened in his love life was all firmly on him but he understands the path that led him there so much better now. 

It’s a path scattered with all his unspoken feelings for the man in front of him. The man he’s in love with and can never have, can never tell those truths to.

Buck knows all that now because, you know, therapy, but he’d known it then too on some level, just buried it so deep he didn’t have to think about it.

He thinks about it now, all the time, and sometimes he wonders  if it was better when he didn’t know.

So no he’s not saying any of that, those facts he keeps to himself because he’s learnt.

Buck’s quite proud of himself he may be slow but he can recognise a stupid decision now and sharing all that with Eddie would be a phenomenally dumb idea. He’s talking about it with his therapist and that’s good enough. True she has suggested he talk to Eddie about some of it but that was just a suggestion and that means he doesn’t actually have to do it.

Buck risks another look at his favourite face in the world. It’s not looking good for him right now. Eddie finally knows about the kiss and he doesn’t look any happier than he had a moment ago. 

In fact he may look even grumpier than he did at the start of the conversation, Buck studies his face again, actually, what Eddie looks is pissed off. 

Ok, so that’s probably because he’s annoyed that he’s the last to know, Buck gets that but he had been hoping for a little more understanding if Eddie ever found out, not judgey eyes. As far as Buck can tell there’s no reason for him to be looking like that. 

He tries an apology to see if that improves the sour expression currently occupying Eddie’s face.

“Look I’m sorry I never said anything about it but honestly it meant less than nothing. I can hardly even remember it.” That’s true because he had been spectacularly drunk. 

Eddie keeps his frown a moment longer then he wipes the expression off his face. He changes the subject completely and starts a new conversation about a school trip Christopher has coming up. They talk about that for a while, then Eddie leaves because has to ‘go and do something’ an oddly unspecific activity that Buck’s highly dubious actually exists. 

He disappears and Buck’s left with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that something isn’t right between them. That feeling only grows when for  the rest of the shift he hardly sees Eddie at all, well he hardly sees his face, he sees the back of him a fair bit. The other man seems to be leaving every time Buck turns up. 

Buck’s not fooled, it’s perfectly obvious Eddie’s still pissed at Buck. He’s just not exactly sure why.  

He tolerates Eddie’s mood, trying to work out exactly what’s annoyed his friend the most, is it that he’s the last to know, or maybe it’s that Buck hadn’t volunteered the information like a friend should? Eddie could just be disappointed in him, after all Buck is disappointed in himself, he still cringes every time he thinks about it. 

He spends ages trying to work it out and eventually decides to confront Eddie. He finds his opportunity an hour before the shift ends and pounces unseen from the spot he’s been lurking in.

“Hey Eddie.”

His friend startles then goes tense, eyes looking for an exit but there’s no quick escape for him this time. Buck’s planned this carefully. Eddie's expression shifts from startled to another one he recognises; it’s one of his fake ones, it’s the I’m going to be polite to you even if it kills me face.

“I feel like I’ve upset you”  Buck gets straight to the point - see therapy works.

Eddie scoffs but won’t look him in the eye. 

“No man, we’re, we’re good.”

“Really? ‘cos you’ve been off with me all shift, ever since you found out about me and Lucy” 

There it is, out in the world. 

Eddie's expression flickers at ‘me and Lucy’ and then he gives him a smile that goes nowhere near his eyes before assuring him he’s wrong.

“Buck, I have no feelings about that, why would I?”  Buck stares and when Eddie meets his gaze with a fleeting glance he thinks he detects a slight flush to his cheeks. 

Eddie walks away quickly, tossing back a breezy “relax, you're worrying about nothing.”

Buck watches him go, studying the tense line of his friend’s shoulders and knows that he’s not.

The last hour of the shift drags so he has more time to think. It’s not until he notices Eddie surreptitiously watching Lucy as she crosses the room to come talk to him that he works it out. By the time Lucy’s at his side and asking Buck about that show they both watch Eddie’s jaw is set and his eyes are cloudy. 

So Buck prides himself on knowing Eddie well, on being able to read his moods, all his faces and he’s only seen that expression a handful of times. There’s no mistaking how Eddie feels about Lucy and Buck standing so close together and talking. 

He considers the clues he’s gathered. No matter what he’d said earlier Eddie had definitely not been happy to hear Buck and Lucy had kissed. He's obviously upset with Buck and he’s not happy to see him talking to Lucy now.

He can’t work it out, to be honest he thinks Eddie’s disproportionately upset after all it wasn’t Eddie he had cheated on. 

So the question is why, why would it matter to Eddie so much that Buck and Lucy kissed. No one else cares not even him or Lucy, Buck wracks his brain to come up with the answer and then like a flash of lightning it hits him. God he’s an idiot, it’s so obvious. 

Eddie likes Lucy.

continue on AO3

Tagging a few people who’ve shown an interest or liked snippets from this so you know it’s finished @imsupposedtobewritting @loveyourownsmiilee @elvensorceress @jacksadventuresinwriting @the-likesofus @blaidddrwg1982 @weewootruck @ekstasisandangst-main @barzy90 @blackberry-I @brah3280 @buckaroodiaz @swiftiebuckleyhan @rogerzsteven

#911 fox #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 spoilers #911fic #911 on fox #spotty scribbles #Buddie fic #Buddie on ao3 #buddie fanfiction

[buckactuallys]

one line, any fic

i was tagged (ages ago) by @rewritetheending @nymika-arts and @littlespoonevan, thank you!!

Rules: Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or a few), and share it! Then tag 10 people.

a place to go

Eddie’s hand on his back is careful, as if he’s not sure he’s allowed to touch. Buck makes a sound that’s almost a sob and turns his whole body until his face is pressed to Eddie’s shoulder, and he’s so embarrassed-

you cause lanterns to light

Eddie is up on the balcony with Bobby and Chim, all of them sitting at the table. He’s looking pale and staring at his hands, palms pressed to the tabletop as the other two talk to him in low voices.

feeling the ache is better than nothing at all

“Because she’s his sister.” Eddie sighs. “You know how they are, Chim. I think it was them against the world for so long, they still sometimes forget to let other people in. Maddie begged Buck not to say anything, I think he was trying to do right by both of you.”

caught up in the war inside

“How’s your head?” he asks instead of continuing the conversation, touching his own temple in the place where Buck got pistol whipped. He wants to stride over, take Buck’s face in his hands and get a close look at the wound, but Buck got patched up at the hospital and it would be nothing but an indulgence.

when the weight we carry breaks us

It’s easier with people who don’t know him as well, which is the only reason he asked Buck to bring Taylor along to dinner the other day. He doesn’t particularly like her, hates thinking about her and Buck together, and it hurts actually seeing them together, but he needed a buffer so Buck wouldn’t have the opportunity to read him the way Eddie knows he can.

whatever i lose is put back by you

He’s already drawn a big, slightly lopsided heart, when he looks over and realizes that Christopher is taking great care copying an anatomically correct heart from his book onto his sheet of paper. Ah. So, probably not art class.

Buck looks down at his own heart and decides to keep going. It’s not like his assignment is gonna be graded, and maybe it’ll make Christopher laugh. Maybe it’ll even make Eddie smile. 

used to be a time i thought i had nothing to lose (but now i do)

Buck stumbles to his knees next to him, ripping off the glove of his right hand and pressing it to Eddie’s neck to check for a pulse. He finds it immediately, strong and reassuring, and nearly sobs with relief.

better days are coming

Eddie sighs. “Does everybody know?”

“I don’t know,” Chimney says, “this isn’t actually something we gossip about. I figured there was a reason you were keeping it to yourself.”

pulls our heart towards home

The big dog is less subtle. He gets to Eddie and happily eats all the treats off the floor, then butts his head against Eddie’s knee and licks his hand while his tail thumps on the floor as he wags it. Eddie smiles, charmed, and he’s lucky Buck already married him, because seeing him like that just makes him want to marry him again.

hear the door slam (realize there's nowhere left to run)

“You…Buck.” Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Buck wraps his fingers around Eddie’s wrist and squeezes. “Listen, Eds, I– I have some magic, and I came along so I could protect you, but, um. I think this spirit may be stronger than I am. Which is why–“

it's been so long that i think everyone who wanted to do this probably has done it? if not, you're tagged!

#this is a very random collection of older fics i liked and newer ones i think deserve better dhgjks #it was actually so interesting scrolling to the middle of them #tag meme #p

[monstrousfemale]

could you write a ficlet for your spotify wrapped no.8 song pls? ☺️

aaaaaa Thanks soo much for asking, I was so excited bc this is definitely on my top 5 favorite songs ever. I hope you like it 😌 Warning for Mature content and loads of angst. I crossposted this to AO3 because I just liked it a lot... Ain't much but it's honest work.

led by blind faith - Mature, 1845 words

"I don't know why we thought this would work."

The words echo over the payphone, carried over thousands of miles. They hurt just as bad as if they had been said right in Eddie's ear. 

He wants to fight, wants to ask Steve, just how could he say that? Instead, he breathes deep; in, out. 

"I love you," he says, because it's true. Because he wants it to be enough. 

"I know."

The line clicks off, and Eddie is left in the phone booth, pressing his forehead to grimy glass. Outside, Gareth has been tapping his index finger to his wrist. It's time. 

Steve holds Eddie's hand as they wade into the ocean. These shores are not the same as the ones back home, the waters are always colder. But they're alone on the beach, and Eddie clings to Steve's hand as they hiss their way into the frigid depths. 

Steve laughs at him, his nose scrunched up, eyes brighter than the sun overhead. 

"I love you," Steve says, like it's easy. It's always easier when they are together, actually on the same continent, sharing the same bed. 

"I know," Eddie says. He grins when he jumps on Steve, causing both of them to go under. 

"It's late," Eddie says, eyes stuck outside the window of his hotel. There's a tree swaying in the wind. It's late Fall, and its leaves are mostly orange. The European weather is unforgiving, and there's already a mess of fallen leaves on the hotel's lawn.

"I missed you."

It punches a hole in Eddie's chest, crosses his body like a pen through a sheet of paper. Like an arrow through the heart. Eddie thinks about writing it down, could probably use that for his next song. But Steve is sniffling on the other side of the line, and he can't make his feet move.

"I miss you, babe," Eddie says, yawns. It's true, he always does. Travelling with the band is fun, and he loves it. He loves playing for sold out venues and scream-singing his lyrics to audiences that know them by heart. 

But he does also love Steve Harrington, King of Hawkins. He does wish he could bring him along, hates that he can't. Hates that Steve is at home working a 9 to 5 to pay for his own college education, because he won't let Eddie help. 

"I wish you were home," Steve says, his voice low. He's trying not to sound like he's crying, and Eddie's chest is so full for him, he feels like he might just explode. 

"I wish so, too."

"You never call anymore." 

Eddie sighs, tries not to get defensive. He's not calling because he's busy, he's tired, he's living life. So is Steve, he knows he is. 

"I'll try to check in more."

"I hear more from the agent than from you," Steve says, and it's not even an accusation. It's just hurt seeping through. "She calls and gives me the hotel numbers, and tells me you're still not eating right, and still only up after 1PM, no matter the time zone. I miss you, Eddie."

"Steve, I'm trying."

"Yeah, so am I."

"Look, I'm not trying to scare you, or make things worse… but how do you know he's not off kissing cute European guys?"

Steve brushes his hair off his face, checks his watch again. He has to call Eddie in an hour. And he loves Robin, he does, and he knows she's just saying this because she's his friend, and she cares about him… But he wishes he had to go right now, doesn't want to have this conversation. He trusts Eddie, but also he knows what the answer makes him sound like. 

Nevertheless, Steve says what he always says whenever someone asks about the stability of his long-distance relationship.

"It's blind faith."

Robin doesn't have pity in her eyes when she looks at him after that, like a lot of others had had before. She just looks worried. He smiles softly at her, steals the last of her popcorn, and tries not to think about that faith. He really does trust Eddie. And Eddie trusts him. 

Eddie pushes Steve against the hotel room door, thigh between his, lets him grind down against him. 

Tells him, "That's it baby, you feel so good, so good, Steve."

Steve clings onto his hair, kisses him like his life depends on it.

They don't get a lot of moments like this, Steve doesn't get to travel much. But it was their anniversary, and Eddie was still on the road. He finally convinced Steve to allow him to get the tickets, and here they are. Making out in a hotel room in South America.

In the background, to drown out their sounds, The Cure is playing from a tiny stereo. 

Steve sings along as he throws himself onto Eddie's bed, smiling through the lyrics.

You, soft and only You, lost and lonely You, just like Heaven 

Eddie holds on tight to Steve’s hips, moves with him, touches him in worship. Whispers “you’re just like Heaven” into Steve’s collarbones, into his neck, into his chest. Steve whimpers for him, beautiful, divine.

"I can't fucking talk to you when you're like this," Steve says, exasperation dripping off every word. 

It may be midnight wherever Eddie is, but for him, it's the middle of the day, and he has shit to do. 

"You asked me to call," Eddie says, slurring. He's high, Steve can tell. And it's not weed, when he's high off pot he gets cozy and chill. Now, he is extra hyper and off, and Steve hates his voice when he's like this. Suspects coke or some other shit. He doesn't want to know.

"You promised me you wouldn't get high on the road. This is not okay. This is your career on the line, Eds."

"Oooh, you never call me that," Eddie chuckles, but it's dark. Nothing like his usual laughter. "I thought you wanted me to call more. I'm calling."

It hurts. Feels like being punched over the head, and Steve has plenty of experience with that. The dull ache, the dizzying effects. He's so tired. One more concussion and he might just be done for. 

"Don't call like this again. You’re putting me through hell." 

It's Eddie who hangs up. 

“I love you. I don’t think I could ever love anyone else like this.”

“Sometimes it’s not enough, Eddie. You know this. We knew this.”

There's a beat. Steve thinks maybe the call dropped. Thinks about the phone bill for international calls.

“Don’t say that, please,” Eddie finally says, and there’s something so solid in his tone that grounds Steve.

“Eddie, it���s just so…” Steve doesn’t know what he wants to say. It’s hard. It’s fucking lonely. It feels like pure desperation sometimes. 

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry, please Steve,” he’s begging, and Steve doesn’t know what to do with it. Hates himself a little too much for making Eddie sound like that. “Please, I need you to forgive me.”

“It’s not just about that one call, you know things were hard before that. It’s not even all your fault.” 

“Steve…”

“I’m in love with you. I don’t think I could ever love anyone else, either.”

There’s a sharp exhalation, relief that seems to worm its way from Eddie, through the phone line, into Steve’s brain. 

“I really am sorry,” Eddie says, means it. Steve knows he does. 

“Me too,” Steve says, sighing. “We’re going to be okay.” He doesn’t know if he’s trying to comfort Eddie or himself with that, but he suspects it doesn’t do a lot for either of them. Nothing could, right now. 

Eddie calls in the middle of the night, wakes Steve up at 3AM. Steve grumbles, but he’s happy to hear his voice.

“It’s witching hour, baby,” Eddie says, voice low and breathy. He’s mindful of Steve being extra sensitive to loud noises when he’s just woken up. Steve suspects there might be something else behind it tonight, though.

“I miss you,” Steve offers, untangles the phone cord on his bedside table. Pushes a hand below the blankets, brushes over his stomach, lets his palm rest there. 

“I miss you, big boy. Woke up thinking of you. Barely 11AM, aren’t you proud of me?”

“Hmm, sure, you want a prize for that?”

Eddie hesitates, and Steve smiles. He’s awake enough now that he has no doubts in his mind about what this call is. 

“Not a prize…” Eddie says, and he already sounds out of breath. Steve wonders where Eddie’s hands have been wandering, if he had already been touching before he even dialed. 

“Mm, no. A reward, maybe?” Steve asks, but his fingers are already dipping down the front of his pants. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. What do you have in mind?” 

“Oh, you’d love what I have in mind. For now, though, speed up for me? I can hear you, you know. You sound wet.”

Eddie makes a noise that has Steve hard in his own fist, and they get lost in each other’s voices and sounds like they usually would from much closer by. 

When Steve comes, he misses Eddie so bad he almost cries. 

When Eddie comes, he tells Steve he loves him so many times it sounds like prayer, and Steve falls back asleep with the phone stuck between his ear and his shoulder. 

They had met just before Corroded Coffin had been put on the map. Steve had been dragged to a concert because Dustin had needed a ride, and he had finally conceded. Eddie had invited them backstage, had doted on Dustin like only Steve ever would. They had probably fallen in love over the top of Dustin’s curly head of hair. 

Steve tries to remember that. He tries to focus on how easy it had been to fall, when he goes to bed alone after a long day at work. He tries to console himself with the knowledge that Eddie could have just said no to this arrangement, could have chosen to be single when he had headed out on a goddamn world tour. They had only been officially dating for a year when the band had gotten an opportunity to open for some big metal band Steve had never heard of before.

So Steve focuses on the love he feels, focuses on what he knows. And what he knows is that being with Eddie is worth it. 

It doesn’t make things hurt less, though. Just kind of helps manage the pain.

Eddie comes home on a Friday afternoon. Steve picks him up from the airport, has a sign that reads “my rock star” on it. Eddie looks tired, but the smile he has for Steve is large enough to lighten up his face, even if he calls him cheesy for the sign.

Eddie kisses him, and when they walk side by side to the car, Eddie’s arm over his shoulder, Steve thinks that, just maybe, they’re getting away with this after all.  

#steddie #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #rockstar!eddie #no upside down au #monstrous writing #monstrous bigboy

[lily-blue-blue-lily]

oh 911 hot takes poll, i loved yours!! what price do i get when i agree with all of your hot takes? the only thing that i am mostly neutral about is henren being the best ship, but that's mostly because i enjoy it the same way i enjoy bathena and madney. they're all cute, but not ships i actively ship if that makes sense?

i think there should be more talk about bobby literally lying his way into the position of captain of the 118 and not only facing zero tangible consequences for his actions but also being allowed to keep the fucking job lmfao. y'all be hating on female characters who are career-focused for personal reasons (cough taylor cough) but when it's a white dude, it's because he's such a poor misunderstood soul boohoo <3 the double standards make me sick <3

buck filing the lawsuit had a point, he literally won the case. like, in canon, the show canonized that buck was in the right. buck's doctor had approved him to go back to firefighting so bobby had no legal ground or evidence to just forbid him to come back. an "inkling" or "feeling" is not a reason for an employer to do that? idk why people were pissed at buck for going the legal route – we have unions because of employers frequently use their power to push you out of your job and shit whenever it suits them. bobby is not buck's doctor nor therapist, so why does anyone think that he can just do that? maybe it's an american thing idk about lmao. buck obtaining millions of dollars as damages said enough, and i need people to swallow that pill.

bless, i am not alone in thinking that eddie was (and obv the buddie shippers were) clearly being kind of an ass to ana! people were at her throat for calling him "edmundo" of all things, as if he cannot speak up for himself or isn't allowed to like his first name lmao. how ana was demonized and eddie was babyfied by the fandom is my villain origin story. on that note, i also must point out that the only reason eddie did not face a trial or any other severe consequences after beating up a man is because that man just conveniently dropped the case. could have easily lost custody over chris because of that, but sure, ana was the disrespectful toxic troublemaker. double standard rgrgrgrgrg

also taylor and bucktaylor my beloved <3 the end of the relationship was so abrupt but what else is new with the wonky 911 writing. i still love her, i love that she is clearly thriving after the breakup, and i think the ship could have been developed instead of broken up tbh. their different values were interesting and challenging, finally somebody who did not appear to only play the role of "buck's girlfriend who must agree with everything". i get the breakup, but taylor was willing to change to make things work, so like, big missed chance imo. i'll keep enjoying them in my heart tho <3

omg thanks for typing all this out and validating my opinions haha! its like we share a mind!

honestly i dont have much to add to this, you summed up a lot of my thoughts so well!

in terms of the lawsuit stuff, i dont necessarily completely agree with buck filing the lawsuit, like i get why the others were mad, but i do think that bobbys reaction to it was not great, plus like buck did have a point, he wouldn't have won otherwise and also i think there was a double standard, like other characters who got injured (like when chimney got the freaking rebar through his skull!!) came back to work pretty quick with no issue, but for some reason its different for buck?

my biggest issue with the 911 fandom is how any love interest buck and eddie have are treated. like, dont get me wrong, i love buck and eddie and i do ship them, but also the way fans treat the female characters is gross. i love taylor, like shes not perfect and im not saying she did nothing wrong, but also every other character in the show has fucked up on multiple occasions yet they arent treated with the same hatred she is, i truly dont get it! i do think it was right for her and buck to break up at the point they did, but for the majority of their relationship i did really like them as a couple!

im not gonna go into any more detail here cos this post is becoming insanely long and i have so many thoughts, but like, anon, you get it. thank you!

#im really sorry to anyone not interested in 911 having to scroll through this #theres a lot to discuss lol

[wikiangela]

1, 19, 21

Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]

You didn't specify which fic so let's just say most my fics make me think of songs they're based on/titled by (bc I'm not very creative when it comes to titles lol) so they're either Taylor Swift or Maren Morris haha (with a few exceptions)

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

here's a bit from the dog fic, that's very close to being done haha ❤️

“(...) And we can build a doghouse together, that’d be so much fun!” he says excitedly, and when Eddie looks at him and sees his sparkling eyes and that smile, he almost gives in. “And I’ll take care of it all the time, too, you know I will.” “Buck.” Eddie tries to be stern and wants to shut it down for now. They’re at work. “You’re getting a dog?” Hen asks, piecing together the few sentences she’s heard. “As in… together?” “Yeah.” Buck grins, opening his own locker as well. “We’re not getting a dog.” “But Eddie!” Buck almost whines, and, god, Eddie would give him anything he asked for, but he’s also stubborn, and he decided something already, he can’t just go back. Besides, does he really want to be stuck taking care of a pet on a rare occasion Buck’s at his loft? “Uh, you don’t even live together.” Hen notices, confused, a frown on her face. “Or have we missed something?” she and Chim exchange a look that Eddie doesn’t wanna look into. He’s already pretty sure he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve, and everyone knows how he feels, he doesn’t need confirmation. “No, but it just makes sense.” Buck shrugs, taking off his t-shirt in one smooth motion, and Eddie pointedly does not look (he sees him out of the corner of his eye anyway, he can’t help it, peripheral vision exists, okay?). He doesn’t look until Buck puts his LAFD shirt on, and he’s safe to turn to him without the danger of blushing or his eyes lingering where they shouldn’t. He kind of hates realizing he’s attracted to his best friend, because it’s making things weird, at least in his head. “How does it make sense exactly?” Chimney asks, something smug in his voice. “It just does.” Buck says dismissively, and Eddie wonders if he’s as confused as Eddie as to what has been happening lately between them.

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

yes I have, multime times tbh - usually because it doesn't feel right, or I get stuck and need to rewrite something and look at it differently and I like the new version better haha

Send me fic writer asks!

#thank you so much for the ask <3 #I send you so many teasers anyway lmao so here's another one ❤️❤️ #writing tag game #tag game #ask answered #wikiangela answers #ask me shit #wikiangela writes #fic writing #fic snippet #buddie wip

[capseycartwright]

“ you have me. “ for the reassurance starters? Should it spark inspriation.

Eddie Diaz had never been jealous in his life. Really, he wasn’t a jealous person. Maybe it was an overreaction to claim he’d never been jealous ever – he was sure he’d had his childish jealousies, wanted something his sisters or friends or cousins had – but he had never felt jealously quite like this. He’d been back with the 118 for all of three shifts, and they were out for drinks, and things had been bad, before they’d ever stepped inside of the bar, but now it was worse.

Eddie liked Lucy.

He needed to clarify that point first. He did genuinely like her – she was a little reckless, but she had good instincts, and she was a good firefighter. That was sort of all that mattered, or all that should have mattered, more accurately. Eddie should be able to be a grown up, and deal with the strange, flirty banter that Buck and Lucy easily exchanged after months of working together, Taylor long-since out of the picture and Buck a free agent who was welcome to flirt with anyone he wanted to.

Except –

Eddie was an idiot, and he’d convinced himself that Buck wasn’t a free agent. He’d convinced himself that Buck, who was currently living on Eddie’s living room couch on a full time, no end in sight basis, wasn’t a free agent and that he was Eddie’s. Something – something Eddie couldn’t quite describe – had been brewing between them for years, now, if he was being honest, but especially in the last few months, but it had felt like Buck had been holding back. Eddie had assumed he’d been holding back to give Eddie the space he needed to recover and heal, but now, looking at Buck and Lucy play pool, Eddie had to wonder if he was giving Eddie space because he wanted Lucy more.

Maybe –

Maybe he did.

Eddie wouldn’t blame him. She probably came with a lot less baggage than Eddie himself did, and there was only so much you could ask of someone before the burden became too much to carry, and Eddie had been asking Buck to share the weight of his troubles for months, now.

Maybe he was tired.

Eddie was tired – that was the excuse he gave Hen, and Bobby, as he stood up a little too sharply, his chair scraping against the lino of the bar’s floor. He managed to make it out the door of the bar before he heard someone behind him, Buck having clearly caught up.

“Are you leaving without me?” Buck asked, cheeks flushed, sounding out of breath, as though he’d had to jog to keep up with Eddie. Had Eddie really been walking that fast?

Eddie nodded. “I’m tired,” he gave Buck a weak smile. He wasn’t going to ruin his best friend’s night because he’d gotten the wrong idea. “But you stay.”  

Buck raised an eyebrow. “Why would I stay, when I could go home and hang out with you?” he said, as if it wasn’t even a choice he had to make.

“Buck,” Eddie hated how close he was to tears. “It’s been fun, these last few months – playing house. But I can’t keep doing it, because I’ve been convincing myself that I can have you for real, and clearly – clearly that’s not true,” he gestured vaguely toward the bar. “There’s a whole world of people out there who want you, and who want you back, probably including Lucy, and I’m not – I’m not going to stand in the way because I’ve convinced myself I have some chance of having you. So – go and have a beer, and enjoy your night, and don’t worry about coming home late. Okay?”

A thousand different emotions flashed across Buck’s face, ending on quiet confusion. “Eddie,” he said. “You have me.”

Eddie was pretty sure he was having a stroke. “I – what?”

“Eddie,” Buck repeated, firmer in his words this time, taking a step forward, closing the distance between them. There were only a few inches left between them now, the cool air of the late-October night whipping around them as they stood outside the bar. Eddie could hear a cheesy pop song start to play inside of the bar, the raucous cheers a fair indication of how happy – and drunk – the clientele were to hear it play.

And yet – it felt like time had slowed to a standstill, and the only two people left in the world were Buck and Eddie.

“Eddie,” Buck said, and Eddie wished he could bottle the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when Buck said his name. Buck always said his name as if it were something precious, reverence in his voice as he spoke. “You have me,” he repeated. “You have always had me. I don’t care who does – or doesn’t – want me, because all I want is you. You have me.”

“I – I do?” Eddie stumbled over his words as he spoke. It felt a bit like this was a fever-dream, his greatest fantasy coming to life in the parking lot of their favourite badge and ladder joint. Romantic, Eddie noted.

Buck nodded. “Eddie,” he almost laughed. “I want you so much it makes me crazy. I live on your couch, for crying out loud! I’m just – I’m waiting here, in your life, in your house, wishing you’d feel the same. I’m in love with you, Eddie. We’ve never been playing house. Have we? It’s never been pretend.”

Eddie was pretty sure his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He shuffled closer, close enough that he could brush his nose against Buck’s. “I want you,” he murmured softly, Buck’s hands finding their way to Eddie’s shoulders, a gentle, steadying weight as they came to rest right where Eddie’s shoulder met his neck.

“You have me.”

And, well –

Eddie couldn’t do anything except kiss him after that, could he?

send me a reassurance fic prompt

#911 fox #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan bittencourt #in which i ramble #in which lorna writes fic

[hmslusitania]

Paint it Black

@evanbucxley @arrenemris you guys wanted petty, jealous Eddie stuck in an elevator with Taylor during the blackout, right?

Eddie Diaz has been involved in his share of awkward dinners.

This one takes the cake though. It starts with him showing up at Buck’s loft by himself, and Buck opening the door with that stupid puppy-dog confused tilt to his head that makes Eddie want to do something drastic.

“Where’s Ana?” he asks.

“We broke up,” Eddie says. “Figured it would be weird to invite her to dinner after that.”

“Oh, I didn’t know,” Buck says, which yeah, Eddie knows because Eddie hadn’t told him yet. “I’m sorry, man.”

Which makes…one of them.

The night gets worse when Taylor shows up with her latest story of her investigation into – Eddie misses the details, but he’s discovered that Taylor’s voice somehow is at the exact right pitch that he can’t quite hear it most of the time. Weird how that works.

Buck, bless his fucking heart, feels none of the tension in the loft. Or if he does, he doesn’t react to it. He stays chipper and upbeat and positive and doesn’t comment when Eddie and Taylor trip over each other to help him with making dinner or pouring drinks or to sit beside him on the couch while the food cooks.

But, like, the spot on the couch beside Buck is Eddie’s spot, and if it’s not Eddie’s it’s Christopher’s.

And Eddie…loses the fight.

Taylor’s tiny, and for just half a second, he entertains the utterly absurd idea of just picking her up and moving her, but it flits out of his head almost as soon as it arrives. It’s quickly followed by an unfortunate realisation that it must be easy as anything for Buck to just pick her up and move her when – which is then immediately erased by the second-hand memory he acquired from Captain Mehta that Buck had been able to just pick Eddie up and toss him into the engine like he was a sack of potatoes – which –

He’s saved when dinner is ready, but he feels Taylor’s eyes on him the whole way through the meal.

Annoyingly, they end up leaving at the same time. Buck and Eddie have a shift in the morning, and Taylor has a story to cut before some deadline or other. Eddie would rather not walk out with her, would rather not share the elevator with her – he briefly considers legging it for the stairs but they’re at the other end of Buck’s floor and the elevator is right there and it would be absolutely blatant what he was doing – but if the alternative is knowing she’s staying the night at Buck’s, he’ll deal with the elevator.

They’re both quiet while the doors slide open, the soft whisper of the brushed stainless-steel brushing against the dust guards the only sound besides the simmering mutual animosity between them. They step into the elevator, which smells vaguely of Pinesol, and Taylor presses the button for the ground floor with a shiny lacquered red nail.

The doors close again and the shimmering, irritable silence fills the space. No elevator music in Buck’s building, which is probably for the best.

“So,” Taylor says as the world’s slowest elevator descends. “Is it personal or are you just jealous?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Eddie says. The elevator has faux wood panelling, not mirrors, so he can’t tell if she’s looking at him or if she’s staring straight ahead like he is.

“You either hate me on a personal level, because I’m me or something,” she says. “Or you hate me because you’re in love with Buck.”

Eddie gets as far as a spluttered, indignant, “I am not in love with—”

And then the elevator lurches. Stops. The lights flicker and then die. The emergency lights do not kick on.

“Well that’s comforting,” Taylor says, dry.

Eddie pulls out his phone. Usually, it’s still connected to Buck’s wifi by the elevator, and the connection’s gone. So it isn’t just the elevator.

“There’s a button in here that calls the fire department, right?” Taylor asks, pulling out her own phone and shining it at the elevator panel. She presses the button that should connect them directly to the department, and nothing happens.

“Depending on how wide the power outage is, it might have knocked out dispatch,” Eddie says.

“Great,” Taylor says. “You’re a firefighter, you can get the doors open, right?”

“With a Halligan and a fully functional shoulder?” Eddie asks. “Sure.”

She huffs. “Do you think it’s just this building or wider?”

“How would I know?” Eddie asks.

“So helpful, thank you.”

“What do you want me to do, Taylor? Use my magical powers of divination to figure out if we’re in a building-wide, block-wide, city-wide, county-wide blackout?” Eddie snaps.

He can’t see her face in the shitty half-light of their respective phone screens, but he hears her roll her eyes.

“It’s because you’re in love with him, right?” she asks.

“For fuck’s sake, Taylor, I’m not in love with—”

“Because he’s in love with you,” she interrupts as though he hasn’t spoken. Eddie’s heart stops. “It’s weird, I’ve never really had to vie for someone’s affections before. I can’t say I’m a fan, but, see, he thinks you aren’t an option.”

“He told you this?” Eddie asks and hopes to God his voice sounds normal because it does not feel like it.

Taylor snorts. “He didn’t have to. Do you guys have any idea what you’re like when you’re around each other? It’s obvious to anyone who even meets you in passing, and I know both of you and have a journalism degree. It’s not difficult math.”

“Then why are you dating him?” Eddie asks, swallowing back the lump that’s just jumped into his throat that feels suspiciously like his heart.

“Because I like him,” Taylor says. “And because I like a challenge.”

Before Eddie can say anything rude about Buck being worth more than a challenge to someone, she sighs.

“I’d say you’re going to have to fight me for him, but it’s not going to be much of a competition,” she says.

“You really think my chances are that bad?” Eddie asks and he hates how sad he sounds, even to his own ears.

Taylor doesn’t get a chance to answer before Eddie’s phone lights up with a picture of Buck and Chris together and Buck’s name in bright letters. In the sudden illumination, he sees the annoyed, resigned expression on her face.

“That answer your question?” she replies, and Eddie answers the phone.

“Hey, did you make it out or are you stuck in the elevator?” Buck asks.

“We’re stuck in the elevator,” Eddie says. “No idea what floor. Maybe three?”

“Cool, don’t go anywhere,” Buck replies and hangs up before Eddie can ask where, exactly, they might go.

An awkward silence hangs in the elevator in the wake of the phone call.

Until, finally, Taylor says, “For what it’s worth, if I had to lose to someone, at least you’re as pretty as I am.”

Eddie is still searching for some kind of response to that – coming up absolutely blank – when the elevator doors slide open. Buck, illuminated by a headlamp, waves at them and pockets his keys.

“You have an elevator key?” Taylor asks while Buck pulls her out.

“Fire marshals and captains get ’em,” Buck says. “They’re standard across production lines.”

“Fire marshals have to give them back,” Eddie points out.

“Eh, when I was a probie, we got an elevator rescue and Bobby told me to go open the doors, and so I stood there trying to pry them open for like five minutes before he walked up to the elevator panel and unlocked them with his key,” Buck says. “Chim and Hen laughed at me for about a month every time we got near an elevator. So when I did my turn as fire marshal, I may have made a copy.”

“Of course you did,” Eddie says. He rolls his eyes and is grateful for the darkness so Buck can’t see exactly how fond he must look.

Taylor catches him, though, and for a tense second, Eddie thinks she’s going to say something about it. But Taylor Kelly is a lot of things, but “quitter” isn’t one of them. It might not be a fair fight, and the outcome might be rigged in Eddie’s favour, but he understands then that she’s going to make him fight for it. Fight for Buck.

No worthier fight, really.

“We should check in, see if they want us on shift early,” Buck says, already pulling his phone out to text or call Bobby.

“And I should go investigate,” Taylor says. “I’m sure my station is missing me.”

“Okay,” Buck says. “Do you want my headlamp for the stairs?”

“I’ve got it, but, thank you,” Taylor says. She stretches on her toes to kiss him goodbye – much more thoroughly than she had when they left Buck’s apartment. She arches an eyebrow at Eddie once she’s let go of Buck and Eddie narrows his eyes right back. “See you boys later.”

She flips on the flashlight on her phone and waltzes off to the stairs.

“We should tell all my neighbours to stay inside,” Buck says.

“Sounds like a plan,” Eddie says, shooting a text to his abuela and Chris to ask them to do the same. He doesn’t know yet if the blackout’s reached their neighbourhood, but it’s a better policy.

“So what did you and Taylor talk about while you were in the elevator together?” Buck asks in between knocking on his neighbours’ doors to announce LAFD please remain inside your homes.

“We, uh, came to an understanding,” Eddie says.

“Oh! Good,” Buck says. He pauses. “What about?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie recommends. He nudges Buck with his shoulder and gets a grin in response. “Let’s check in with Bobby and see if they need us or if they recommend we just stay inside and stay safe, too.”

“No one I’d rather weather a lockdown with,” Buck replies, as if the second she stepped into the stairwell, Taylor also disappeared from his head. “Well, except maybe Christopher.”

Eddie laughs, and thinks in Taylor’s direction, may the best person win.

#9-1-1 #9-1-1 fic #9-1-1 season 5 speculation #this isn't actually speculation it's just goofy #but hey that promo exists so now it's fair game #buddie #technically anti bt #but mostly because it's a buddie ficlet #the ghost ship scribbles

[bibuckbuckley]

just think of all the jealous eddie we're gonna get in s5,,,,,jealous eddie, my king, my beloved, one of the funniest versions of eddie bc he's ALSO petty as shit when he's jealous

taylor rolls up with coffee but it's not bucks correct order and eddies like "you know buck really likes [coffee order], not whatever this is" just to like. prove he knows buck more and to rub it in her face and Taylor knows EXACTLY what he's doing but bucks like "how come my gf and the man I'm in love with don't get along :(((" and then when he and taylor break up and after he gets with eddie, they both explain and he's like "oh. wait what" and eddie has to explain in front of taylor that he's known he's been in love with buck for two whole years and he was extremely jealous the entire time they were dating sjdjdkdkkf

listen LISTEN Jealous King Eddie Diaz is absolutely everything to me. EVERYTHING. I mean I love all the different kinds of Eddie. Cowboy!Eddie. DILF!Eddie. You name it. Eddie Diaz is everything to me in general. However, there's just something about Jealous Ho Eddie that's just *chef's kiss*. Because you're so right, it really is one of the funniest versions of Eddie. He literally is SO damn petty it's amazing.

I literally CANNOT wait for all of the jealousy that this king will bring in s5. Here's hoping that Treasure Hunt was just a preview of what s5 will be like for Eddie when it comes to Buck dating Taylor.

And that entire scenario? Amazing. Showstopping. *chef's kiss*. Eddie 100% would be so passive aggressive like that. Especially since Buck would more than act like he loves the coffee even if it's like the kind he hates and it aggravates Eddie to see him hide like that with his girlfriend of all people. So Eddie is both a Petty Bitch™ but also a Protective Bitch™ bc if Buck is not going to say anything and let his gf think that's his favorite coffee order then he sure will.

And Eddie definitely pull the "I know more about Buck than you" card whenever he there's like a similar moment to Treasure Hunt where Eddie tried to be included with his knowledge but they complete debunk him (aka one of the most blatant jealous!Eddie moments). He'd be like "You might bond over shared knowledge or whatever but did you know this about Buck? You didn't? Aw that's too bad." Like ngl poor Taylor bc while they're in the beginning of their relationship and getting to know each other more, Buck's BFF Eddie here is being completely relentless and always pulling a Ron Swanson on her like

Meanwhile we're having Buck worried that they're not getting along. "how come my gf and the man I'm in love with don't get along :(((" lmaooo this is absolutely perfect. He totally would be like this. oh Buck, my sweet summer child, do you hear yourself???

Okay but ngl I feel in the beginning of s5 Eddie would be more "subtle" with his petty jealousy. Like when Buck or someone mentions Taylor Eddie just tightens his jaw and sits there in silence or with small a comment or two and just makes his classic Eddie Faces™. tbh I really hope he makes his Eddie Turtle Face™ again. But then I just want to see him become and more obvious and just absolute feral with his petty jealousy to the point where everyone are like 👀👀

But no matter how it goes I just DESPERATELY need all of the jealous!Eddie in s5. Give it all to me. It just makes sense with that we saw in Treasure Hunt (and the crossover and s2 with Taylor).

Jealous King Eddie Diaz here we come.

#buddie #eddie diaz #kj gets an ask #enbyeddiediaz #the eliza tag #thank you so much for this amazing ask hon! #ngl thinking of changing my url to jealous eddie alaksjdhdj #long post

[on-maars]

Another Place

Literally I haven’t been able to stop screaming since ep2 came out and I needed to write something

Read on AO3

Bobby is halfway through the third part of The Outsider when he hears a sharp noise followed by a curse coming from the fire station's kitchen. He sits up straight on his chair and even though the voice comes as a whisper, the door to his office is still ajar and Bobby can recognize some Spanish he learned back when he was in high-school.

It’s Eddie then, who always tends to resort to Spanish when he wants to curse or complain about something to himself.

Bobby puts down his book on his desk, stands up and opens his office door a bit wider so he can take a few steps inside the kitchen. The room is plunged into darkness but Bobby can still catch sight of Eddie’s silhouette, standing in front of a box of herbal tea, his eyebrows furrowed, as if he’s currently facing the most complicated dilemma of his entire life.

“Can’t sleep?” Bobby asks and makes Eddie jump with surprise, letting go of the mug he was holding in his right hand. And Bobby might be over 40 but his reflexes are still good and he managed to catch it before it breaks on the floor.

“Shit Bobby, you scared the hell out of me. Thought I was the only one awake.” Eddie says but his voice seems sad, almost dejected.

“Nightmares?” Bobby asks. After all, Eddie’s been through a lot for the past few months, it would only makes sense for his sleep to still be haunted by the memories of the shooting.

“More like insomnia.” Eddie corrects him, his eyes still down. “There’s just stuff I can’t get out of my head, you know.”

“Stuff about the shooting?” Bobby says calmly, but that’s enough for Eddie’s face to wince in pain.

“Among other things.”

“Why don’t you go sit down on the couch and let me take care of it?” He offers. Eddie’s hand stops in mid air and his shoulders eventually slumped as his heads nods, retreating back from the kitchen with a heavy step.

Bobby fills the kettle with water and turns it on before opening the box of herbal tea still on the counter. It’s an old box, supposed to help you sleep, one of those things he brought from home a few years ago when he realized it wasn’t much use back there. He places the tea bag in the mug, opens the drawer to grab a spoon and half a sugar cube. His movements are robotic, like he’s done that a thousand times in the past. And he did, back when his nights were filled with nightmares.

He lets out a sigh and leans against the fridge, looking at Eddie out of the corner of the eye. He’s seated on the armchair, his eyes fixed on the ground, the same haunted look Bobby saw him with a few times already during this past few weeks.

The light turns off on the kettle, and Bobby pours the water in the mug, before making his way towards the ‘living room’ area where he places the tray on the coffee table.

“Wanna talk about it?” Bobby asks as he takes on the seat on the couch.

“It’s just-” Eddie starts but marks a pause, like he’s not sure how to say the next few words. “Just stuff I- I try very hard not to think about. Or just bury- bury somewhere in my brain but-”

“It keeps coming back?” Bobby offers and smiles when Eddie just nods quietly as he takes a sip of his herbal tea. “Does it have anything to do with your panic attacks?”

Eddie’s mouth turns up at the edges but he presses his lips together in a straight line just as fast.

“How do you know about them?” Eddie asks, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“I have my ways.” Bobby answers with a hint of amusement.

“Let me guess.” Eddie starts. “Buck?” And even though the words come out as a question, Bobby knows there’s no real need to answer. He still nods though, and smiles when Eddie rolls his eyes with a fond expression. “They were because of Ana.”

“The panic attacks?” Bobby asks, his eyebrows raised in confusion. “Were?” He adds. “You don’t have them anymore?”

“No.” Eddie shakes his head. “We broke up.” He adds. “I was trying to make it work for Christopher’s sake. Thought he loved her. And he liked her okay but turns out he was only going along with it because he thought she made me happy.” Eddie tells him, a sad laugh escaping his lips.

“And she didn’t?” Bobby encourages him. “Make you happy, that is.”

Eddie opens his mouth like he wants to say something but stops himself from doing so the next second. There’s a small silence after that. Eddie’s eyes are staring into space, his forehead wrinkled in concern, like he’s hopping that if he thinks about it long enough, an answer is going to magically appear in front of him.

“It was nice.” He starts and Bobby raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. “It just wasn’t working.” Eddie adds. “Couldn’t have worked.” He precises. “Not when I-” He marks a pause again, and closes his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his index. “I guess my heart just wasn’t in it.”

Bobby says nothing for a while. He just smiles. Because he knows where Eddie drives at. It’s been a long time coming, after all. All the looks, the soft glances, the sweet gestures. All the signs were there, and they were clear. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that what these two shared went beyond friendship.

“Have you talked to Buck about it, Eddie?” Bobby asks, his voice gentle.

Eddie flushes, and looks away. Because Bobby’s not only asking him if he talked to Buck about his break-up with Ana. No, in fact he’s asking a lot more than just that. And Eddie knows it. He’s just not sure he’s ready to go there.

“I... I did.” Eddie says, and closes his eyes again. “I mean I- I told him about Ana but I think he knows that… That it’s not only about the break up.” He adds. “It’s never been only about the break up, Bobby.” He admits. “It’s never been only about Ana.”

“I know.” Bobby smiles.

“He broke up with Taylor.” Eddie blurts out and Bobby’s not one to gossip about other people’s relationship because, ultimately, that’s their business and he’d hate to interfere with any of that. But as he sits there on that couch, watching Eddie, there’s only one thing that comes to his mind.

Freaking finally.

“So the ball’s in your court now, isn’t it?” Bobby asks.

“I guess it is, yeah.” Eddie answers, darting his eyes towards him before looking away just as fast. “And you know I was- I was waiting for the right time but…”

Bobby’s mouth turns up at the edges once again.

“I’m just so freaking tired of waiting, Cap.” Eddie finally says, and one of these rare soft smiles only reserved to Buck breaks in on his face. “I- I want this. Us.”

“I think everyone’s tired of waiting, Eddie.” Bobby remarks with a hint of amusement in his voice. “Tell him.” He adds. “After all we both know how he’s gonna react.”

“It’s- it’s gonna be good, right?” Eddie asks, his voice uncertain, a part of him still doubting. Bobby rolls his eyes and lets out a small laugh.

“Eddie, it’s Buck.” He reminds him. “He’s gonna be like a kid on Christmas morning.” He adds. “That boy loves you two to the moon and back.”

And, as if summoned, Buck chooses this moment to appear on top of the stairs, his eyes sleepy and his hair disheveled making his blond curls go in every direction. Bobby watches him as he shuffles towards them, and doesn’t miss the way his eyes light up when they fall on Eddie.

“Hey Eds.” He says, his voice soft, taking a seat on the arm of the chair Eddie's seated on. “You okay? I woke up and you- well you weren’t on your bunk.”

Bobby gives Eddie a knowing look and stands up, retreating back in his office once again, only this time he makes sure to lock the door behind him. He can still hear the muffled words coming from the living-room but nothing he can actually make sense of.

He lets his back rest on the backrest of his chair and goes back to his reading. It’s almost five in the morning now, and Bobby doesn’t see the appeal of trying to get a few hours sleep, especially now that they’ve been unbothered by any calls for a bit more than two hours. It’s certainly not going to last forever.

He finds himself so engrossed in his reading that the next thing he knows, a bit more than half an hour has passed and the kitchen is now dead quiet. The first sunbeams light up the fire station and Bobby decides that now is as good a time as any to start on breakfast.

Only, what he sees when he goes back inside the kitchen makes him stop in his tracks and smiles. Because there they are passed out on the couch, their legs intertwined and Eddie’s head pressed on the other’s chest while Buck has wrapped his left arm around Eddie’s waist while his right hand is buried in his black hair.

“Oh god.” He can hear Hen say from the top of the stairs. “Is this really happening?” She asks and Bobby only chuckles while shaking his head in disbelief.

“I guess it is.” He says.

“Holy shit.” This time, it’s Chimney’s turn to curse. “I’m calling Maddie.” He adds.

“Chim, it’s 5am.” Hen remarks.

“Oh trust me if I wait any longer I think she’ll punch me.”

“I’m taking a picture for the group-chat.” Ravi intervenes behind Chimney and Bobby only watches them from the kitchen with an amused smile.

“Guys come on, let them sleep for a while okay? They deserve it.”

“We’re not sleeping.” Buck’s voice comes from behind the couch. Bobby can’t see him but he can only picture the exasperated expression on his face.

“Not anymore.” Eddie adds.

Bobby rolls his eyes and turns his back on them to face the oven while chaos suddenly erupts in the fire station.

With a sigh and an amused smile, he starts on breakfast.

#buddie #buck x eddie #911 #9-1-1 #911 fic #buddie fic #my writing #evan buckley #eddie diaz

[finduilasclln]

Welcome to my Buddie Fic Rec List!

Since I read so many Buddie fics, and some of them are so good, I thought I’d share them in some handy lists. I’ll be posting them in different categories, and you will be able to find all the posts HERE.

Disclaimer: Always read the tags and warnings! Also, tastes differ. These are my personal favorites, which doesn’t mean they’ll automatically be yours of course.

If you want to reblog and add some of your own favorites that fit the category, please be my guest! I always love discovering new fics. I will also add new recs of my own whenever I stumble upon them.

One last thing: Please like and comment when you’ve had a nice read. It means so much to authors to hear your thoughts! And don’t hesitate to share this post and spread the love for these fics around!

Buddie Fic Rec: "Feelings Realization".

unfold me (tell me you love me), by extasiswings (@extasiswings) || 2399 words ||

Eddie follows the sound of running water to the kitchen. He stops in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and spends a moment just watching Buck scrub potatoes in the sink until the other man glances up and notices him.

“Hey,” Buck greets. “Chris is reading in his room, I’m just working on dinner. How was the date?”

God, I love you, Eddie thinks, and nearly has to bite his tongue to keep it to himself.

[Or: Eddie goes on a date and has some realizations about what he really wants.]

The Road To El Paso, by KeepOnSailing || 9604 words ||

Eddie takes a trip with Christopher to visit his parents (and the 126 team) following his recovery from the shooting, bringing Buck along for support/company. He is coming to terms with his former relationships and feelings he may or may not have for Buck.

Wrapped in Red, by Free (@somebodycall911onfox) || 10691 words ||

Taylor tells Buck that she loves him. Buck says it back. It takes him a while to realize that he didn't mean it.

when the evening comes, by markofalover (@markofalover) || 1882 words ||

“I don’t know, buddy,” Buck says, still slow, like his words are getting stuck to his teeth. “I don’t think that’d work.”

“Why not?” Eddie asks. He’s looking at him, brown eyes warm, always warm, but there’s a hint of challenge in them.

…Or, Chris makes a joke. Buck moves in.

***

I will be adding my own fics that fit the category, in case you want to read those too:

A New Day, by Finduilas || 2452 words ||

Written for the following Anon prompt on Tumblr: For the Buddies prompt : Chris acts nightmarish with Ana and Eddie overhears him when he says : "I don't like you because you are hurting my Bucky..." Then Eddie, oblivious idiot that he is, talks about it at the firehouse. Bobby tries to make him understand who he was speaking of when they had their heart-to-heart. Meanwhile Buck is simply trying to be there for Chris.

What if the love you deserve is love you never find?, by Finduilas || 1639 words ||

"I just want Eddie to call Christopher “our son” without even realizing it when talking about him and Buck and I want it to happen in front of other people."

First ficlet: Ana.

Please note this ficlet has Eddie and Ana on a date, but is ultimately a (pre-relationship) Buddie ficlet. There is no Ana hate in it though. (There is also no EddieAna kissing in it either, a little bit like in the show. ;) )

as long as I'm here as I am (so are you), by Finduilas || 2438 words ||

“Really?” Taylor asks, raising an eyebrow at Buck. She glances over at Eddie quickly, then back at Buck with a bewildered look on her face as she leans over onto the island. “Didn’t you guys ever do anything stupid at that age?”

“Plenty,” Buck says honestly, “But Christopher’s better than that.”

“He can make mistakes,” Eddie says, and Buck knows that it’s not as if Eddie thinks Christopher’s not allowed to mess up from time to time. “But I don’t want our son shoplifting and just thinking that’s alright or that there won’t be any consequences.”

#Buddie #Buddie Fic Rec #Buddie Fic Rec List #Fin's Fic Rec List

[insaneoldme]

Can you rec buddie fics? Pretty please?

OMG it's my time to shine, bitches!!!

Sorry if I went a little nuts, but this fandom has some of the best writers I've ever seen. I have 186 Buddie fics bookmarked in my AO3,

I'll link here if you are interested in taking a look cause if I put them all here it would be too long. Also, I tried to show here some fics I very rarely see recced, and a little bit o the classics. This fandom has some very underrated authors, everyone in my bookmarks is worth taking a look really.

Please take a look at the warnings before reading, enjoy!!!

I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends to This) by morganofthefairies (Rated E )

Buck and Eddie had always been unconventional. Neither of them gave it much thought – they were just them. Buck and Eddie - partners, best friends, co-parents – just as entangled in each other’s lives as any actual couple in the 118.

Or, the story of how Buck and Eddie went about their relationship in entirely the wrong order.

My Heart's Been Borrowed by ElvenSorceress (Rated E)

aka the one where Taylor gives Buck his ultimate fantasy and uncovers far more than either of them expected, forcing him to confront his long held feelings for Eddie

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by HMSLusitania (Rated E)

Buck 1.0 fathered a child and Buck 4.0 comes into custody.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) (Rated E)

Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck."

Keep It On by R_E_R6 (Rated E)

When Eddie walks in on Buck, bent over in nothing but a hoodie, their plans for the night immediately change. Buck's outfit though? Well, Eddie requests that it stays the same...for reasons.

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by ElvenSorceress (Rated T)

Buck nearly loses everything and Eddie has to follow his heart

hungry for your love by evcndiaz (Rated G)

prompt: "who’s gonna write a fanfic where chris is not cooperating with buck and eddie accidentally says “listen to your dad”?"

or; breadsticks are a metaphor for love and boning

keep your eyes on the road by iriswests (Rated M)

A glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

when things fall into place by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Eddie asks Buck to move in with them during lockdown to help look after Christopher, which leads to certain unresolved feelings being resolved.

Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

Evan "Buck" Buckley has made a name for himself as the independent bad boy of archaeology. At least, until Professor Eddie Diaz shows up with his fedora and good looks and starts beating Buck to the punch more often than not.

Buck hates his stupid six-pack covered guts.

Except for how... he might not.

Objects in the Mirror by SevenSoulmates (Rated E)

The voice had always been around, Eddie remembers it, like a stream of consciousness that babbled incoherently to the point where Eddie just tuned it out.

But then the voice started speaking directly to him. Conversing like he was a whole person standing right in front of him. Like he could see what was happening around Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. No one was talking to him, and Eddie most certainly was not talking back.

He wouldn’t talk to the boy in his head ever again. There was no boy in his head.

ripples all the way down by iriswests (Rated M)

christopher partakes in some parent trapping

dream of some epiphany by extasiswings (Rated M)

Evan Buckley is lost.

It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door.

Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name.

Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

Relationship Advice from Complete Strangers Online by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Hi, I’ve never made a Reddit post before and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but I need advice and can’t ask anyone in my real life. So, I [30M] have this best friend [34M]…

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico."

And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?"

In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea (Rated M)

“You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

Asked, Offered, Given, (He's) Taken by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

People like to flirt with Buck on calls. It kind of makes Buck uncomfortable.

And that makes Eddie frustrated.

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea.

Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right?

There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

Memorable by JessicaMDawn (Rated T)

Six times Buck got recognized by people he saved during the tsunami, and how his team realized he was a hero.

All Bets are Off by NobodyKnows_U (Not Rated)

Or, the five times the firefam realized Buck and Eddie were in love, and the one-time Eddie finally did something about it.

fire on fire by extasiswings (Rated T)

Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.

Better Together by Randomfandombloggs09 (Not Rated)

5 times Eddie sees Buck wearing his last name and 1 time its not just his

Daddy and Pops by EdithBlake (Rated M)

When Christopher calls Buck 'Pops' things get a bit confusing. Buck and Eddie have a talk with Christopher that ends up with both of them being even more confused by how right it sounds.

the meaning of the words you see by florenceandthemachine (Rated E)

unknown sender: Hi!

unknown sender: Just wanted to say thanks for letting me buy you a drink, and for your number. Sorry I had to run.

unknown sender: I’m Eddie by the way.

sent: hey um

sent: i don’t want 2 be this guy but

sent: i think u mayb put the wrong # in ur phone

the dream you wish will come true by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Christopher Diaz cannot understand why his father would want to date his former teacher when Evan Buckley is right there.

vienna waits for you by mottainai (Not Rated)

Eddie doesn't deserve a soulmate.

Work Husband by hideeho (Rated T)

“What...what have you done with Buck?” Eddie is going to kill him for messing with his phone. No, that’s too extreme. He’s going to maim him. Just a little.

“Check under H,” Chim offers helpfully, shooting a look over to Hen with a smirk.

Why the hell would he be under—

Then he sees it.

Husband.

Bad Neighbors by firstdegreefangirl (Rated E)

Eddie's new neighbors are keeping him up all night. He calls on his best friend for a little taste of their own medicine.

Cross the Line by Sirencalls (Rated E)

Eddie laughs, short and quiet and almost to himself. “No. If you want to learn, then I’m gonna be the one to teach you.”

Buck is pretty sure his brain stops working. “What? Why?”

Eddie turns to look at him and steps closer, their chests only a few inches apart. “Because there are people out there who will take advantage of how naïve you are. They’ll hurt you, and I won’t.” Eddie’s eyes are so intense that Buck doesn’t have any choice but to believe him. “If you want someone to do this for you, to—to dominate you, it has to be me. I don’t trust anyone else to do it right.”

pretty in pink by dykeevans (Rated E)

Buck forgets that he and Eddie made plans to hang out until Eddie shows up and Buck's in the middle of laundry day.

His laundry day outfit consists of a small pink crop top and grey sweatpants.

Eddie loses his damn mind. Me too, though, me too.

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies (Rated G)

“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”

Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.

“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.

-or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

Something Old, Something New by dumbhuman (Rated E)

“Damn, I love weddings!” Buck’s face lit up as he closed the door.

If asked later, Eddie wouldn’t have been able to explain what came over him in that moment to make him ask the question. Or, at least, he wouldn’t have wanted to explain. The exhaustion was an easy excuse, but he knew deep down that it wasn’t a real one.

“Why don’t you come with me?”

one of the few things by thatnerdemryn (Rated G)

five times that Eddie tells someone else that Buck is Christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells Buck.

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

things we shouldn't do by Ingu (Rated T)

“Why is everybody taking my relationship status so personally? Can’t I be fine with being single?” Buck said.

“Hey, you don’t have to say yes, be sad and alone if that’s what you want,” Josh replied. “But, I’m just saying. I’ve seen photos and this guy is volcanic levels of hot. Also, single dad, super cute kid. Saves lives for a living like you. I think you should give it a go.”

(the one where Buck and Eddie accidentally get set up on a blind date with each other, and everything snowballs from there)

Keeping It In The Family by Wolves_of_Innistrad (Rated T)

A young man shows up at the firehouse looking for Buck. Turns out Javier was a Bartender with Buck in Mexico. He’s back in LA, looking to reconnect and very flirty. Cue Eddie realizing Buck is not as straight as he thought.

kiss me (like your ex is in the room) by rebeccaofsbfarm (Rated E)

Eddie Diaz gets drunk and protective and signs up for a fake double date to get back at his friend's ex.

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania (Rated M)

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is… missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home

All my Buddie AO3 bookmarks

As I said this fandom has some very talented people, some of my favorite Authors's Tumblrs below, I recommend all the things they wrote and their blogs are very good.

@elvensorceress, @hmslusitania, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @extasiswings

For gifs:

@arrenemris, @skylessnights (very lovely AU gifsets)

@from-nova(good gifs & content)

For Podfics: @mistmarauder everything she ever read is amazing, her podfics are high quality and she has a very lovely voice and her presence calms me down lol I recommend it

I'm sorry there are a lot more people but I'm kinda in a rush haha most of the people I follow are amazing, but the ones I mentioned here are enough to get you started or entertained for a while.

Buddie fics are amazing, this pairing has spoiled me so much, everyone I met because of it is nice and so active and talented.

Sorry mutuals if I forgot someone! 

I hope I helped Anon, have fun!

(Tell me if any link is wrong please, thanks)

#buddie #buddie recs #recs #fic recs #911 on fox #911fox #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #ao3

[thisissirius]

my version of the “ok but in the finale eddie gets shot, right?” fic

to touch the sky [ao3 link] eddie/buck, finale speculation. major injuries. mentions throwing up. 

Eddie can see the sky. 

Is he supposed to see the sky? His ears are ringing and there’s a hazy quality to all the noise, like it’s coming from a long way off. 

Move, Eddie tells himself. 

There’s a dull ache beneath Eddie’s breastbone, a tingling in his fingers, and he’s finding it hard to breathe. Something about that should scare him, but it’s too hard to focus. He grunts, remembers his training; pinpoint one noise, one feeling. 

Sirens. Eddie winces, wants desperately to cough but can’t. 

A voice. Buck.

Choosing Buck’s voice is easy; Eddie focuses everything on it, on trying to move his head, but he doesn’t need to. The sound of something scraping and then Buck’s head appears above him, eyes wide, panic in his expression.

“Eddie,” Buck says, but it sounds murky. Eddie blinks, licks his bottom lip as he tries to solidify Buck’s face. Instead, his eyes drift down his body and he notices that Buck’s not wearing his uniform. Why? It’s something Eddie should know and he’s frustrated that he doesn’t. What’s happening? “Eddie.” 

“I’m fine,” Eddie tries to say; but it comes out a gurgled mess. There’s blood on Buck’s hands when he touches Eddie’s face. He looks scared. Eddie hates it when he looks scared. “Shit.” 

“Don’t swear,” Eddie tries. Again, it doesn’t make sense even to him. He can’t focus on why that is, just the terror in Bucks eyes. 

Buck is still touching him, hands wet and red, and he’s shaking. “You hold on for me, okay?” 

Can do. Not that he knows why he needs to. Eddie’s done it before. Thinks if Buck asks, he’d hold on forever. That sparks something in him; he is waiting for Buck. He’s been waiting, but about what drifts just out of reach. He wants to—

Pain explodes in Eddie’s chest and he makes a noise, one that makes Buck’s face screw up. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Eddie tries. Some of it must slur out because Buck’s gaze sharpens, a little hope. “You’re bloody.” 

Something crumples in Bucks face. Eddie thinks it’s the worst thing he’s ever seen. 

“It’s yours,” Buck says, his voice high. “Eddie, it’s yours.” 

Oh. That doesn’t sound good.

Drifting for a while, Eddie stares up at the blue, blue sky. It’s bright, sunny, and it’s a nice day. The park. Eddie’s supposed to be taking Chris to the park tomorrow, his day off. Alone, because someone else, someone who comes with them somtimes, isn’t there anymore, but the name drifts away, just the image of a smile, a name he doesn’t like. 

“Eddie?” 

It’s a lot of effort to move his head but Eddie does. Buck’s crying and Eddie wants to reach out, wipe the tears away. His fingers are still tingling and all he can manage is a weird jerk of his fingers. 

“Stay with me, alright? I need to get you on the basket so it’s gonna hurt.”

“Nothing hurts,” Eddie tells him, but for some reason that makes Buck close his eyes, take a few breaths. “Okay?” 

A laugh, sad. “Yeah, Eddie, I’m okay.” 

Eddie groans when pain shoots through his chest. He ignores Buck’s muttered apologies, focus on the way the sky tilts, his eyes taking in a building, the side of another. 

“You got him?” Chimney. Chim’s here? 

“We at work?” Eddie asks. Buck doesn’t answer for a moment. “Buck?” 

Eddie can’t help the way his tone banks into panic. 

“Easy,” Buck says immediately, and his face reappears. “I just had to get the harness on, Eddie, alright? I’m still here.” 

Eddie stares at him. Harness? Nothing about this makes sense. When whatever he’s laying on sways, he feels sick. “M’gonna throw up.” 

“Shit,” Buck says. “Alright, Eddie, do what you gotta do, okay?” 

“M’kay.” Eddie blinks. “Glad you’re here.” 

Buck laughs and again, it sounds funny. “You and me both, buddy.”

There’s a lot more swaying, and nausea bubbles up until it’s overwhelming. “M’sorry,” he mutters as he throws up, chest flaring with pain until it’s all he can focus on. 

“Hey,” Buck says, his voice cutting through whatever’s whining. “Eddie, listen to me, Eddie, you need to focus, okay—HOLD THE FUCKING WINCH—sorry, I know that was loud.”

Eddie closes his eyes, embarrassed, but there’s a hand in his hair. 

“Eddie,” Buck says, his voice gentle, and the swaying is less. 

“Buck,” Eddie manages, and the whining’s stopped at least. “Feel funny.”

A pause. When Eddie opens one eye, he can see Buck hovering over him. He’s wearing a helmet, blood on his forehead, his shirt, but he’s there. He touches Eddie’s face. “I know. We’ll be at the hospital real soon.”

Hospital. For Eddie?

“Yeah, for you,” Buck says, voice cracking. 

“’kay,” Eddie mumbles, and closes his eyes. He can feel the rocking, the noises filtering back in, but Buck’s hand is on his forehead the whole time. 

“Don’t sleep,” Buck says more than once.

Eddie tries. He tries so hard. “Just a little—”

“Eddie,” but Eddie can feel the tug of sleep taking him over. 

-----

Buck’s hands are shaking. 

“Hey,” Hen says, resting a hand on his thigh. “You need a coffee?”

“No,” Buck says immediately. He’s staring down at his sneakers. They’re covered in blood. Eddie’s blood. Like his hands—he’s tried cleaning them—like his shirt, his everything. “How long—”

Buck’s phone cuts through the silence, Chris’ familiar ringtone drifting out of his pocket. A couple of people glare at him, but Buck ignores them, grits his teeth as he answers. “Hey, buddy.”

“Buck,” Chris says, sounding scared. “Abuela said Daddy—”

“He’s hurt,” Buck says, not wanting to scare Chris more than he has to, but he’s not lying. “I’m in the hospital right now, okay?”

A pause. “Can you come home?”

Buck closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose. Home, like he lives there. Like there’s not been a steady distance building between him and them for weeks. “I need to be here for your dad, alright? As soon as I know anything, I promise I’ll FaceTime, okay?”

“Okay,” Chris says quickly, which means he knew. “You’ll hold his hand?”

Ana will, Buck thinks viciously. Out loud he says, “Both of them. For me and you.”

Chris doesn’t stay much longer; Isabel takes the phone. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck starts. 

“Don’t be silly,” Isabel says, in the way only she can. “Eddie is strong. He will come back to his family.”

“Yeah,” Buck breathes. 

Isabel makes a frustrated noise. “To you.”

“I don’t think,” Buck starts. 

“To you,” Isabel says again and hangs up. 

Staring at his phone, Buck wonders if Isabel knows about Ana. She must? Eddie’s not the kind of guy to not tell his family and he’s met Ana, so surely—

“Buck,” Hen says, tapping his leg. 

He looks up, sees the doctor walking towards them and abruptly realises they need someone here, Isabel or Pepa, he should have kept them on the phone. He realises, with growing dread, that Ana might be Eddie’s emergency contact. 

“Is there a Mr. Buckley here?”

Buck startles, almost drops his phone. Hen and Bobby share a look. “I’m Buck. Uh, Mr. Buckley.”

The doctor nods, approaches. “Is it okay to have a private word, Mr. Buckley?”

“You can,” Buck starts, frowns, doesn’t know what to say. He looks pleadingly at Bobby. 

“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, with a sense of urgency and patience that Buck doesn’t think he could ever master. “You are Mr. Diaz’s agent, are you not?”

Buck almost says no, but he’s too surprised, too shocked to do anything but stare. Hen pinches his thigh and he nods in reaction, says, “yeah.”

“Good,” the doctor says. “We’re about to take Mr. Diaz into surgery to treat the pericardial tamponade. I need to confirm whether there’s a DNR in place?”

Buck doesn’t know. 

“I,” Buck starts. He thinks, tries to recall Eddie ever saying—

"I don’t have a DNR,” Buck says. “Do you?”

“Are you kidding?” Eddie snorts, nods at Chris. “Neither of us is allowed to go anywhere, Buckley.”

—“No,” Buck says. “Please, he doesn’t wanna die.”

“Alright,” the doctor says. He says something else, something Hen and Bobby are listening too, squeezes Buck’s arm and disappears.

“What’s a pericardial tamponade?” Buck asks, he knows, but he needs them to say it. 

Hen doesn’t look at him. 

“Compression of the heart,” Bobby says instead, approaches slowly. 

Buck’s glad of that a moment later when his legs almost give out.

“Easy,” Bobby says, lowering him into a chair. “Breathe, Buck.”

“Why am I,” he gasps out. “He made me his POA, and I can’t—”

“Of course you,” Bobby says carefully. He squeezes Buck’s hand and Buck squeezes back, probably too hard, but he needs something to ground him. Eddie’s got a fucking heart compression and Buck knows that’s bad, so bad, but he can’t—

“Bobby.”

“Listen to me,” Bobby says. “Of course it’s you. That man loves you—”

“Don’t,” Buck says. “Please. I know you mean well, but Ana.”

There’s a silence Buck can’t explain. 

Hen sits down next to him, looking concerned. “Buck, Eddie broke up with Ana this morning. He didn’t tell you he was going to?”

“No,” Buck says, unable to comprehend. They didn’t speak that morning because Buck’s phone went off and he was with Taylor and they’d gone for coffee. “I’m gonna throw up.”

Someone moves something close and Buck throws up, feels guilt and horror well up in his stomach. Eddie’s in surgery, a doctor asking about resuscitation, and Buck didn’t know he’d broken up with Ana because he was celebrating Taylor’s promotion. 

_____

Numb.

There’s a steady beeping in his ear (hospital) and a rustle of sheets (his own?)

He tries to open his eyes. Nothing. Making a noise of frustration, he tries again. 

“Hey,” someone says in his ear. “Eddie, you can do it.”

Something is clogging his throat and he can’t speak, it hurts, something thick and it hurts. 

Someone says something, but his chest is tight, his panic palpable and then nothing.

When he next wakes, his throat hurts but he can breathe. He wants to sob with relief. This time, he can open his eyes. The lights are too much and he abruptly shuts them, makes a noise in the back of his throat, and shifts. 

“They’re off,” someone says quietly, and he feels a hand in his hair. “You wanna open them again for me?”

Eddie wants to say no but his mouth won’t cooperate so he makes a noise. 

“Please?”

The voice is trembling. Afraid? Eddie doesn’t want anyone to be afraid. He cracks open his eyes, grateful when the lights are off. He turns, ignoring the floaty feeling in his head, his body. 

Buck. 

“Buck,” Eddie croaks. His throat hurts. Buck must realise, because he holds out an ice chip. Eddie takes it, sucks on it gratefully, but can’t look away from Buck. He looks exhausted, a cut on his forehead, and his clothes look rumpled and bloodstained. “Okay?”

“Fuck,” Buck mutters, letting out a watery laugh. “Of course you’re asking if I’m okay.”

Eddie doesn’t know what that means. “Awake before,” he manages, before Buck’s shoving another ice chip at him. 

“Slowly,” Buck admonishes. “I need to alert the doctor.”

“Stay,” Eddie says, sudddenly panicked. 

Buck abruptly moves, puts his hand in Eddie’s hair. “I’m not leaving. Just pushing a button, okay?” Eddie nods and Buck does so, but he doesn’t move away. “God, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” Eddie says. Then, “woke up before.”

“I know,” Buck winces. “They intubated but didn’t know you were gonna wake up so soon. They had knock you out so they could take out the tube.”

Eddie tries to focus on that, but the words drift away like smoke.

“You had a cardiac tamponade,” Buck continues, as if he can’t see Eddie’s confusion. “They weren’t sure you’d be safe to consciously handle—”

The doctor interrupts him, striding in and taking over.

Eddie tries to focus, to pay attention to what the doctor’s saying, doing, but he just clings to Buck, hopes Buck’s paying attention. 

“I got it,” Buck whispers in his ear. “You can rest if you need to, okay?”

“Stay?” Eddie says, scared.

Buck leans down, kisses Eddie’s forehead. “I’m never leaving you.”

Eddie falls asleep with those comforting words in his ear. 

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie fic #buddie #fic by me #can you tell i studied today? #lmao bye #911. 911 spoilers

[deluweil]

So watching old episodes clips on YouTube I made some sort of parallel (could be the late hour though).

Buck was in-love with Abby, but she didn't love him back, she stuck it out with him until her mother died.

He was her emotional support boyfriend, until it wasn't enough and she had to leave to find who she really is without her mother's illness looming over her.

So she let go of Buck, but didn’t completely break up with him - my assumption was that she didn't know how things would go, so he was a sort of safety net, not because she loved him, but because she knew he was there to catch her.

In between, Eddie comes along, neither dates anyone until late season 4, and even that is because Eddie is encouraged by Bobby to do that. Notice no one else encourages him to do so, because it's clear that he is not available, he's just not seeing it yet. ("A*a who?" " It's like it a*a's and Eddie's kid" etc.)

Also, I'm pretty sure that until that talk in 5x02, Buck and Eddie never talk about her (while they're dating - " I thought you two were doing great" meaning Eddie didn't share his struggles until Buck pressed about the panic attack.) or refer to her as Eddie's gf.

The only one referred to as gf was Taylor, and that was said in contempt when she reported about the treasure hunt. And they weren't even a couple yet. (Buck was friend-zoned in that episode, only God and Tim minear know how he made it back from there.)

Now one would think that the boys filled a space for each other until they found a person to replace the love they lost, but that's not the case.

Eddie went so far as to make Buck Christopher legal guardian, should anything happen to him, and only share that detail when he realizes that, unless he makes clear how far he would go to keep Buck integrated into their lives, he may lose him.

In Eddie's case, A*a was the "emotional support", but not in the same way that Buck was to Abby. Eddie is, was?, under the impression that his son needs a mother, and his parents wanted the next woman Eddie picks to check all the traditional boxes that they think she should be.

A*a fit perfectly, on paper, the one thing Eddie forgot was, that you don't marry a woman or keep her around just because your son needs a mother. At the end of the day A*a was ,mostly, a glorified babysitter. She sat with Eddie in the hospital while he was unconscious, she looked after Christopher during the crisis, but nothing more.

She is not integrated into Eddie's and Christopher's lives completely. Ravi have met her for the first time during the crisis and as it turns out it's also her first time in the firehouse, so it stands to reason that out of all of them she may have met only Buck, and that's also, probably, in passing - considering there were no pleasantries exchanged when she and Chris visit during the blackout.

Kind of like how Eddie met Abby in passing, on a call, by accident, hated her, but said nothing other than stepping back with a disgusted/shocked look on his face before leaving to head for the train car.

A*a was a "godsend" during the blackout "taking care of Christopher". But nothing more.

Even the suits shopping, Eddie doesn't want a suit and Christopher is anything but excited about it, but Eddie capitulate for her "You just like to dress me up" and convinces Christopher to play along "come on..."

Neither of them is actually happy, she's just there now, but she holds no significance in their lives. "I'm not his mom, I'm just a friend."

Eventually the one to sort out Eddie's mess is Buck, but Eddie doesn't realize something is significantly wrong with his choice until his own crisis (Abby's was her mother's death) - he gets shot.

He looks at Buck until he collapses, he stares at Buck under the firetruck until he closes his eyes, he asks for Buck and his wellbeing when he sees he's covered in blood, and as he loses consciousness his eyes are fixed on Buck’s face.

At this point I want to point out, that when Eddie has his panic attack, and is sure it's something else, he looks anywhere but A*a.

When he wakes up, he asks for Buck - the smile on his face when he saw Buck run into his room. - The fact that A*a left them alone to call Christopher, even though she could have made thst call for him at any time.

Eddie had his realization, that something is not right, it takes a panic attack, and a near panic attack in the station when A*a and Christopher are visiting for him to sort out what's wrong. And when something is wrong he talks to Buck who uncovers the big picture for him.

Buck knows he wasn't what Abby wanted, he knew it then and it became all the more painfully clear when she returned with a fiancé. - He loved her, but he knew she didn't love him back.

And A*a is in the same place. - she says so herself later in 5x03. (Why she dragged it out herself, is beyond me.)

She was only Eddie's emotional support, but unlike Abby, Eddie already has what he's looking for, and on some level he knows that too. He knew that bleeding out on the concrete floor in the middle of the street, he also knew that when the last sight he chose to see on the firetruck floor, before losing consciousness, was Buck's frightened face.

That's the end of my parallel, I'm super tired and it's like 5:30am after an all-nighter, so I hope it's mostly coherent.

Before I'm wrapping things up and reunite with my pillow I will leave you with one little thought I have - I think that Buck indeed spoke about Abby, but I think on some level he also talked about Eddie too. Because Buck didn't start dating until Eddie chose to do so.

And Buck didn't need his own emotional support (stunted as she may be) if his own rock was still single.

I think Buck knows he loves Eddie (in which capacity is unknown) and on some level it hurt that he was considered "not enough".

That without meaning to, you can see that Eddie's words had impact - "my kid loves her." "Ready-made family". - You can see Buck actually holding back a flinch at those.

So yeah, parallels all around... so tbc?! ;)

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buddie meta #damn the parallels just keep piling up #one thing is clear though #these boys love each other so much #abby clark #a*a flores #a*a who #a*a flores negativity #Taylor Kelly #taylor kelly negativity #kinda it's mostly about comparing relationships #so many returning motifs #however if the guys don't end up together #what's even the point? #late night ramblings #9-1-1 rewatches #a bit S1 #9-1-1 3x18 #9-1-1 4x14 #9-1-1 5x02 #9-1-1 5x03 #christopher diaz #buddie fandom #9 1 1 fandom

[datleggy]

i’m not sure if this is a good prompt but i’d love to see something based off of jealous eddie in the new episode. established relationship with buck reassuring him about how he and taylor are just good friends. maybe getting together with a first kiss. i love all your work, but don’t feel like you need to write this if it doesn’t spark anything. thank you!

so i haven’t had a chance to watch the new episode yet, but i’ve seen gifs of jealous!eddie and it’s given me life lmao so here we go 

Taylor is at the station...again. And that’s fine. Totally fine, Eddie tells himself over and over in his head, as he watches Buck moon over the reporter. 

A week ago Eddie was content with his life and everyone’s place in it. Or so he thought, until he realized exactly why he was so bothered by Taylors presence at the station. All thanks to Chimney and his extraordinarily large mouth. 

Eddie huffs, annoyed just thinking about it. He’d been in the locker room after a long shift, and Buck had run in and changed faster than lightning, barely taking the time to tie his shoelaces. Eddie had asked if he wanted to come over and grab a beer, maybe play some video games with him and Christopher, but Buck had politely declined. “Sorry man, I’ve got plans with Taylor, she’s waiting outside for me. I’ll see you guys Monday! Bye!” He’d waved and sped out of the station before Eddie could so much as think of an appropriate response. 

Chim had laughed and said something that had most definitely struck a nerve, whether he’d intended it to or not. “Hey, cheer up, there’s other fish in the sea.” 

And Eddie had thought in that instance: But I don’t want anyone else. 

The very next day he’d broken things off with Ana. She’d been more confused than anything, initially, wondering if maybe she’d done something wrong, which had prompted Eddie to spill his guts to her about these decidedly romantic feelings he’s been harboring for his best friend. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize, not until last night, or I wouldn’t have dragged you into this, I just--” He’d tried to explain, tongue tied and at a loss. Ana was perfect, after all. Intelligent, a self possessed woman with ambition, good humor; she got along just swell with Christopher, and she was gorgeous to boot. But... 

“Hey,” Ana had taken one of his hands into her own and squeezed gently, comfortingly. “So...this sucks. Because I really do like you Edmundo. A lot. But I am glad you were able to sort your feelings out. I know--especially growing up in a Hispanic household--how difficult it can be to come to that kind of conclusion. Have you...told him, yet?” 

Eddie had shaken his head no, “Um, actually? You’re the first person I’ve told.” 

That had come as a huge surprise to Ana, who, though heartbroken, had still offered a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, in the future. 

Now, a week later, Eddie still hasn’t said a single word of this to anyone else. Not to Hen or Chim, not to his Captain--though sometimes the way Bobby looks over at him makes Eddie think the man knows something--and most definitely not to Buck himself. 

Instead, he departs from the crew, shoulders stiff, irritation spiking, and makes his way to the bunks. Which is where Buck finds him a few minutes later, sulking. 

“You ok?” 

Eddie’s head swivels towards the entrance and he can’t help but frown at the tall figure standing there. It’s all Bucks fault, with the way his hair goes poofy with strawberry curls when it’s humid outside and those dumb contagious too-wide smiles of his and that look on his face when he gets hyped whenever he gets a chance to share any of the million factoids he’s learned--all of it makes Eddie want to rush up to him and kiss his stupid face. 

“Eddie?” And suddenly said face is right in front of his, just inches away, and Buck is waving a concerned hand in front of him. “Earth to Eddie, you alright?” 

Eddie blinks and quickly backs away, nearly falling off the other side of the bed, if not for the fact that Buck springs into action, one long arm going around Eddie’s back and holding him upright.

Now they’re impossibly close and Buck is staring at him all wide eyed and breathing kind of funny and Eddie is swaying forward ever so slightly, not breaking eye contact. He’s not sure what it is he’s doing, except that his hand is now caressing the side of Buck’s face and Buck is leaning into it and Eddie's tilting his head to the side and then their lips are meeting at the middle and Eddie can only describe the feeling as sparks of electricity bursting in his chest.

It's only when they finally pull away that reality comes crashing back down around Eddie and white hot panic sets in. "Shit! Shit, I'm sorry. I--that wasn't supposed to--I mean--" he covers his face with the hand that had been cradling Buck's cheek not five seconds ago and it's warm and butterflies flutter around in his belly.

Buck sits back on the bunk and clears his throat, "Um, I thought you and Ana were..."

Eddie looks up instantly, "No, no, we broke it off last week. Or, I guess I did..."

Buck nods. "Oh."

Eddie slides his sweaty palms across his pants and looks away, nervous. "I didn't mean to kiss you." Not when he knows Buck is dating Taylor. Not when she's literally in the other fucking room. Jesus Christ what is he even doing?

If Eddie were looking he would see the hurt that flashes across Buck's face for a split second before he's able to school his expression. "Right. Yeah." He lets out a faint impression of his usually boisterous laughter. "Who wants to be a rebound, right?" And then he's up and gone.

There's a tension hanging in the air between Buck and Eddie after the incident and no matter how badly Eddie tries to pretend it's not there it lingers.

It's Friday night when Eddie rallies and asks Buck out for a beer. Christopher is at his aunt's for the night and it's been a while since the last time they hung out together, just the two of them, so he figures it’s worth a shot. 

He’s in the middle of asking Buck to go to a bar with him when who but none other than Taylor pops out from behind Buck, making the two of them jump. She tilts her head back and laughs at their expressions of surprise and Eddie wants to gag at how impeccably pretty she is with all that long red hair and those pumps on her feet that make her legs look like they go for miles. 

“I got bored of waiting for you in the lot, c’mon, happy hour’s almost over.” she bumps her shoulder into his playfully and Eddie watches heartbroken as Buck gives her one of his charming megawatt grins. Taylor notices him staring and smiles politely. “Hey firefighter Diaz, didn’t see you there--we’re gonna’ hit Bahama Mama, you should come with us.” 

Eddie tries to decline the invite but Taylor is relentless and despite his protests, he finds himself at the counter, ordering drinks next to Taylor, fifteen minutes later. He hates small talk, and apparently so does Taylor, because the moment Buck steps away to go to the restroom she turns to Eddie with her razor sharp stare and says, “So I heard you kissed Buck the other day and tried to do a little take back, huh?” 

Eddie wants to glare at her and tell her to mind her business but this is her business, and he’s the one in the wrong here, not Taylor, and so instead of lashing out he bites his tongue and apologizes. 

Taylor blinks. “What? Why are you saying that to me? It’s Buck you should be apologizing to. I’m not the one who’s heart you’re playing games with.” she snaps. 

“What? What are you talking about? Look, I’m trying to say sorry here--I kissed him in the heat of the moment, and I want to say I wasn’t thinking straight but the truth is I’ve been in love with him for longer than I can admit but I know you two are dating and I know I overstepped, that wasn’t my intention at all so I just--” 

“We’re not dating...” 

Startled, Eddie turns around to face Buck, who’s standing behind him, having heard a good portion of that conversation. “What.” 

“Is that why you said that? That you didn’t mean to kiss me? Because you thought Taylor and I were going out?” Buck can’t help but sound hopeful, gulping when it takes Eddie a moment to answer. 

“You’re really not dating?” Eddie breathes out. 

Buck shakes his head. “We’re just friends.” 

It’s quiet for a moment before Taylor decides to break the silence. “So...I’m gonna go get us another round and let you two geniuses figure this out.” 

As soon as she’s out of ear shot Buck sits down across from Eddie and both men try to speak simultaneously. “Oh, sorry, no, you go first.” Buck insists. 

Eddie twiddles his thumbs and bites his lip. “How much of that did you hear, exactly?” 

Buck’s heart pounds in his chest like a drum. “Uh, I think I walked up to the part where you told her you’re in love...with me? And for the record, I--you know, I--” Buck stumbles over his confession. “I’m in love with you. Too.” 

“Jesus, Buck,” Eddie leans over the table precariously and holds Bucks face in his hands, not giving a damn about the fact that they’re in a crowded bar. “Are you serious?” 

Buck nods softly and the scruff of his five o’clock shadow gently scratches the palms of his hand and Eddie can’t get over how much he likes that feeling. He could hold Buck like this forever. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Please.” Eddie lets Buck take the lead this time, digs his hands into those blonde curls as Buck twists a hand in his shirt and pulls him even closer. 

Taylor finds them making out like teenagers in the corner of the bar twenty minutes later and pats herself on the back for a job well done. It’s about time those two idiots figured it out. 

.

a/n anon i loved ur prompt <3 thanku! 

#a little longer than a drabble mayhaps #oops #thanku for the prompt! :) #911 fox #buddie #long post is long #911 #buck buckley #eddie diaz #ask #911 fox spoilers

[buckleyblueyes]

Buddie + 47 "This is home?" 😊

Thank you for your patience, nonnie! I know this took me some time to write and post. Loved this prompt, though! This fic features an appearance by Taylor Kelly, and maybe isn't the most friendly towards her? idk, I wasn’t actively trying to write her to be a bad person or anything, but just in case I thought I'd throw a warning for people who like her/like her and Buck.

Buck yawns and leans back into the cushions of the Diaz couch. He’s exhausted, physically and emotionally. They were called to a grizzly pileup on the freeway just before their shift was supposed to end, multiple on scene fatalities, and more that they lost later, in the ambulance. He had a date with Taylor scheduled for after his shift, but he knew before the engine even pulled back into the station that he was going to have to cancel. Not just for himself and his need for rest and recovery, but for Taylor’s sake. He wouldn’t have been a good date in his current state. He texted her from the locker room that his shift had run long and he was going to head home and rest. She texted him back with a “I understand, get some sleep” and that was that.

He followed Eddie home, because neither of them wanted to be alone, and he wanted to see Chris, even for a few minutes before the boy had to go to bed. They exchanged hugs and Buck and Eddie both pressed kisses to the top of Christopher’s head. Ever since Eddie was shot--since he told Buck about his will, since Buck spent the summer living on their couch and taking care of both of them--Buck took on a more parental role with Christopher. They don’t really talk about it, but it’s undeniably true, and Buck loves it. The three of them feel like a family, are a family.

Buck showered at the station, but Eddie hadn’t. Eddie likes to take his time in the shower, making it into a sort of ritual where he scrubs off more than just the grime of the day, but the stress and trauma of it as well. He’s going to be gone awhile. So, Buck settles into the couch and pulls out his phone.

I know it’s not the same, but wanna FaceTime before bed?

Seconds later his phone lights up with the call. He smiles when he answers it.

“Hey, babe!” Her smile is bright and bubbly as always.

“Hey, Taylor,” he says, forcing himself to keep his own smile up. “Sorry about our date.”

“No, no it’s fine…” Taylor trails off, blinking curiously through the screen. “I thought you said you were going home?”

Buck glances around the room behind him and frowns. “This is home?”

She rolls her eyes. “I know what your loft looks like.”

“Oh,” His smile returns. Of course, she’s only been to Eddie’s a few times, she doesn’t recognize it from the bit of it she could see through FaceTime. “I’m at Eddie’s.”

Taylor’s confusion morphs into exasperation. “I should’ve realized.”

“You’ve only been here a few times, it’s--”

“No, I mean I should’ve realized you were blowing me off for him,” she snaps.

It feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. “What does that mean?”

“It means that I’m always playing second to Eddie, and I’m getting sick of it,” Taylor’s tone is huffy and irritated and Buck hates it. “It was one thing when he was still recovering. But he’s fine now, so why are you still spending so much time with him?”

“He’s my best friend, Taylor,” Buck narrows his eyes. “Of course I spend time with him.”

She scowls. “How can you be too tired for me, but be sitting on his couch?”

Buck runs a hand through his ungelled curls. “Look, our shift ran long and it was really rough. My therapist says I shouldn’t be alone during times like this, and I happen agree with her--”

“So why not be with me?” Taylor asks, tone shifting from anger to sadness.

“Because Eddie knows exactly where I’m at emotionally,” Buck sighs. “He was there, he saw what I saw. There’s nothing to explain. And he shouldn’t be alone tonight, either. It just makes sense.”

She frowns. “So, that’s it? I’m not a first responder, so I’ll never be able to understand like Eddie?”

His stomach twists. This conversation is starting to sound familiar. “It’s not--”

“How can I understand if you don’t open up to me?”

Buck doesn’t know what to say to that. She’s right, of course. He isn’t open with her. She doesn’t know about his childhood, or about Daniel. She doesn’t know about the nightmares that haunt him, doesn’t know about the waves and ladder trucks, gunshots and explosions. She doesn’t know any of it, and he has no desire to share it with her. Maybe it’s the way she looks at her phone half the time they’re talking, or the fact that they haven’t really talked about her willingness to put Bobby’s trauma on the news, but he still doesn’t trust her, not really.

“You’re right,” he finally says. “I’ve been shutting you out.” She looks hopeful, which makes Buck feel like a huge jerk because this isn’t about to go in the direction she seems to think it will. “I have to be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever feel like opening up to you. I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” She looks so sad, and the part of Buck that’s terrified of disappointing people is two seconds from taking it all back, when she speaks again. “So, where does that leave us, then?”

“I don’t know,” Buck answers honestly. He doesn’t want to be single and lonely again, but he can’t deny any longer that Taylor isn’t right for him.

“I think you do.” She gives him a weak smile.

Buck blinks. Cocks his head to the side in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“Buck, be honest with me, are you in love with Eddie?”

Whatever Buck is expecting her to say, it isn’t that. All at once it feels like all the air in the room has been sucked out. He knows that he feels more for Eddie than could be strictly described as platonic, but he’s been avoiding those feelings for as long as he’s known Eddie. First because he thought he had Abby, then because Eddie was married, then because Eddie was grieving his wife, and then because they weren’t speaking to each other, and then because the pandemic hit and they had other things to focus on, and then because Eddie was dating Ana...It was never the right time, and he was always too afraid of losing Eddie, when he inevitably had to turn Buck down.

But Eddie changed his will, and Eddie broke up with Ana because “she’s not what I want” and Eddie let Buck stay here, for months, taking care of him and Christopher, and Buck knows in his core that he and Eddie are tied together, no matter what.

“Buck?”

He realizes she’s still waiting for an answer. “Yeah, yeah I think I am.”

She nods stiffly. “Right, well then. I guess we’re done here.”

“I guess we are.” Buck shifts uncomfortably. “Can we still be friends?”

“I don’t think so,” Taylor shakes her head.

Buck opens his mouth to respond, to say goodbye, but he’s cut off by a voice coming from the hallway. “You’re in love with me?” Buck looks up to see Eddie standing there in his sweats, hair still damp and dripping from the shower, brown eyes wide with shock.

Oh, fuck. “Taylor, I have to go.”

“I know,” she rolls her eyes. “Goodbye, Buck.”

“Bye, Taylor,” Buck swallows, setting his phone down on the coffee table. “How--How long have you been standing there? I didn’t hear the shower turn off.”

“Long enough,” Eddie steps forward. “You’re in love with me?”

“I--” There’s no point in denying. “Yeah. Is that...okay?”

It’s a stupid thing to say, but it’s all Buck can think to say.

To say Eddie looks dumbfounded would be an understatement. “Is it--What kind of question is that?”

Buck shrugs “Well, y’know. I thought it might make things awkward.”

Eddie shakes his head and shuffles the rest of the way into the living room, so he’s standing right above Buck. “Awkward? Why--What--Like, at work? We’re adults, we can keep things professional.”

“Keep...it...professional…” Buck’s brain processes the words slowly, but when he finally does, his heart sinks. “You don’t want to be friends with me anymore?”

“Um.” Eddie cocks his head to the side, in almost the same movement Buck made just minutes earlier. “Obviously not.”

Buck feels numb. This is it. The end of everything. Just when he thinks he’s found someone who will stay. “W-What about Christopher?”

Again Eddie looks baffled. “What about Christopher? I think he’ll be happy we’re together.”

Time stops. Together? “Uh-Wh-Huh? Together? Like...together-together? Like dating? Each other?”

“Oh.” The confusion melts off Eddie’s face. “Buck. I’m in love with you, too.”

Buck blinks up at him. “You are?”

“Yeah,” Eddie smiles warmly. “I thought I made that clear when I broke up with Ana and kept asking you to stay, but I guess I should’ve known that I needed to be more explicit with you.”

Buck laughs. “Oh, you think? I’m only in therapy for my abandonment issues, it’s not like I have problems trusting that people want me around or something.”

Eddie leans down and takes Buck’s hands in his. “Evan Buckley, I am deeply in love with you, and I want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me.”

Buck grins, tightens his grip on Eddie’s hands, and pulls the other man down onto the couch, right into his lap. “How does forever sound?”

“Sounds wonderful.”

Later, after they makeout on the couch like teenagers, after Eddie guides Buck down the hall to his bedroom, after they curl up in each other’s arms, it finally occurs to Eddie to ask. “How exactly did your FaceTime with Taylor end up with her asking if you were in love with me?”

Buck doesn’t open his eyes when he answers. “She asked why I wasn’t at home like I told her I’d be.”

“This is your home.”

Buck smiles and snuggles closer. “I know.”

#buddie #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #my fan fiction