#eddie snapping abby’s name

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | January 29th-February 4th 2024

Ao3 history still fucked :/

Repeating again: if I've ever reblogged one of your WIP fics, consider this my permission to tag me in them!!

Complete

🔥 Say You Were Made to Be Mine by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting, Soulmarks AU | 11K | Teen): It's Valentine's Day 2018, and Eddie saves a man from choking to death in the middle of a restaurant. It's only after the man is rushed away by paramedics that Eddie realizes his hands are green. The man he saved is his soulmate. And he doesn't even know his name let alone how to find him.

For hope I'd give my everything by dragon_rider/ @evanbdiaz (Post S1, CW: Eating Disorders | 8K | Mature): After the disaster of his first date with Abby, Buck’s relationship with food changes rather dramatically.

where would you rather die by tempestaurora/ @tempestaurora (Pacific Rim AU | 4K | Teen): “Care to explain why you’ve brought a child to a military base?” Bobby asked when they returned. The base was alight with celebration; the day had been saved, the world was safe for a little longer. “Uh.” Buck glanced back at Christopher, currently talking to Karen Wilson from the research division. “He was an unaccompanied minor?” “So we leave him with the social workers, with first responders,” Bobby said, a pointedly raised eyebrow in his direction. “His dad’s a cadet at the PPDC,” Buck replied. “And his grandmother probably died in the attack, so it just felt… I don’t know, morally right?”

i've been dying to catch you dizzy by diazbegins/ @evanbegins (Esablished Buddie, Fluff | 2K | Teen): Eddie and Buck go ice-skating. Oh, and Chris is there too!

🔥 The Aftermath of Liberation and Love Confessions by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (Post-S5E9, Getting Together | 17K | Teen): Still, Buck says, “Yeah, Eddie. Why don’t you teach us. What would you say if you were professing your love?” You mean something besides, “In the event of my untimely death, I made you legal guardian of my child”? ~ In which Eddie comes out, sexuality is complicated but coffee is not, Buck makes an excessive salad and is also roasted, everyone has a love confession, and December is the most dramatic time of year.

let the choir bells sing by foxwatson/ @eddiediazes (Madney Wedding, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): All at once, Eddie has an idea. It’s definitely the stupidest idea he’s ever had in his entire life, but he has it all the same, and there’s no time to come up with a better one. He puts his hands on Buck’s elbows, tugs him in closer, and says, “Kiss me.”

When You Broke Her Heart, I'm Watching it Burn by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (Post-S5E11, Buck/Taylor Break-Up | 4K | General): When Buck confesses he kissed someone, Taylor makes an assumption about who. Eddie deals with what all of it means for his own future while picking up the pieces for both Buck and Taylor.

🔥Plus or Minus by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (S5 | 10K | General): “Why are you cleaning out the kitchen? Why is my stuff in boxes?” Eddie slows, then stops. “Figured you’d want it back.” It’s quieter. Pained. When he says it. “I haven’t decided anything. So unless you’re kicking me out—” “Buck. Come on.” He’s not angry or snapping. It’s still quiet, and somehow that hurts even more. He’s resigned and defeated, and Buck is a scooped out, gutted, hollow shell. “I know how this ends the same way you do. You want to be loved, you want to be married. You’re going to leave. Might as well…” His voice cracks before he can finish and get it under control. “Shouldn’t drag it out.” ~ Taylor is offered a job across the country and asks Buck to go with her. Buck has to figure out if he wants to start over or if he has a reason to stay right where he is.

Color Him Father, Color Him Love by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (Post-S6E12 | 3K | General): “Connor was worried he wouldn’t feel like it’s really his kid. But I put him back in Connor’s arms, and I could see the way his face changed. The way he lit up and teared up and might have cried because that is his son. And all I could think was that I know that feeling. I know what it feels like to hold a kid and care about them and want to protect them. But it’s so different when it feels like they’re yours. It’s so much more. Even if you didn’t— Even if it’s not biological and you’re not. You’re not really the father. Because I hold Chris— I hold him and I feel like he is part of me.” ~ Buck has a revelation about what he is to Chris. And to Eddie.

turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Post-S6, Getting Together | 4K | Not rated): To protect his heart, Eddie pulls away from Buck when he starts dating Natalia. When he decides to move to B-shift, Buck finally confronts him and certain feelings finally come to light.

with blood in my nose by hammersmiths/ @henswilsons (Canon Divergent, S4E14: Survivors | 9K | Teen): The spray of blood hits him, first. And then Buck drops like a fucking stone. or, Buck is the one who gets shot instead of Eddie.

🔥 3 Men 1 Baby by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Canon Divergent, Accidental Baby Acquisition | 21K | General): It’s a good thing the groceries have made it to the table, because the eggs would certainly have cracked from Eddie dropping the bags to the floor. Because Evan Buckley was standing there holding a baby. A baby. OR: Buck, Eddie, and Chim get a baby. Here's what happens.

you can see it with the lights out (you are in love) by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post-S6, Love Confessions | 5K | General): Turns out, Natalia does see Buck, though maybe not in the way he expected. In which Natalia realizes Buck's in love with Eddie and help him see it, too.

we could be corny by devirnis/ @devirnis (Established Buddie | 1,6K | General): Or, Chim and Maddie have Buck and Eddie over for their first official couples’ game night.

🔥 Facets of a Diamond by countrygirlsfun/ @acountrygirlsfun (Canon S1-S2 | 35K | Teen): Southern California is where Buck has spent the most time since leaving Pennsylvania. Of all the places he’s lived and worked over the last few years, this place is where he decided to stay. It’s why he picked LAFD: to put down some roots. It’s warm, has the ocean, and it’s the opposite coast of his parents. So if he’s going to be here for a while, he thinks he’ll need to make an effort to let people in.

a little of that human touch by devirnis/ @devirnis (Established Buddie, Secret relationship | 1,5K | General): Buck closes his book and places it on the coffee table, pushing himself up a little more as Eddie trudges over to him. “Couldn’t sleep either?” Buck asks quietly. He wanders over to the far end of the couch and Buck moves his feet out of the way so Eddie can sit down. “Woke up and you were gone,” Eddie murmurs, pulling Buck’s feet into his lap.

you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Getting Together, Valentine's Day | 2K | Teen): The LAFD throws a Valentine's Day charity event, there's a kissing booth and Eddie is definitely not going insane with jealousy.

🔥 Winter Prayer by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Road Trip, Buck&Bobby&May | 18K | General): When a work conflict prevents Athena from accompanying Bobby to Minnesota for the ten year anniversary of his family dying, Buck and May offer to go instead. Over the course of the trip, they all learn more about each other, and Bobby faces his grief.

Fractals from the Lightning Bolt by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (One Shots Collection | 47/54 | 87K | Not Rated): A collection of oneshots, some originally posted on tumblr. Each chapter is individually rated.

47. But What if They Were Secret Dating (S4, Explicit)

You Can't Surprise Evan Buckley by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Established Buddie, Fluff | 5K | Mature): Ten months into their relationship, Eddie has not been able to execute a romantic surprise for Buck. But on Buck's birthday, things are about to change. (Part 2 of Birthday Surprises & Other Shenanigans)

WIP

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by callmenewbie/ @puppyboybuckley (Post-S6, Disaster Fic | 1/9 | 7K | Explicit): During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 111/? | 315K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 A Minor Delay by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Post-S6/S7 Spec | 6/11 | 21K | Mature): Almost a year after the bridge collapse, a lot has changed. The team are scattered—Bobby and Athena on their Honeymoon, Hen on adoptive parent's leave, and Buck and Eddie... They may still work together, still have movie nights with Chris whenever they can, but things have changed. With Maddie and Chimney's wedding around the corner, Buck tries to make it perfect. And maybe, along the way, he might figure out why everything still feels... wrong.

if i need to rearrange my particles — i will for you. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, Social Media fic | 1/16 | 4K | Teen): OR Buck joins a support app for first responders and matches with a firefighter who has PTSD and a kid who likes giraffes, apparently.

#buddie #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #epic buddie fic rec #911 #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #911 fic

[half-bakedboy]

everything stays unsaid

Buddie | 1.5k | general | 7x4 coda

After Tommy leaves his apartment, all Buck wants to do is talk to Eddie. He wants to apologize for making Eddie collateral damage to his stupid crisis. But he feels like he's broken some unspoken agreement between them or betrayed Eddie by feeling something other for Tommy. It doesn’t make sense because it’s Eddie, but he doesn’t feel like he can trust his gut feelings right now.

read the rest on ao3 or under the cut

After Tommy shuts the door gently behind him, all Buck wants to do is tell someone why he has been such an asshole.

But when Buck thinks about calling Eddie, the person he’s hurt most, he doesn’t know how he would even begin.

Hey, remember how I body-slammed you into the pavement and sprained your ankle? It’s apparently because I wanted Tommy to kiss me and I didn’t know that until he did. So sorry about that. I’ll bring you takeout next time we hang out.

No, of course he can't do that. He has to prepare for this conversation, right? He has to figure out what he’s feeling, put a label on it so it’s wrapped neatly in a bow when he finally tells his friends and his family.

He’s seen movies where nerves are haywire and difficult sit-down conversations lead to teary-eyed pride and general… emotions. He’s supposed to say the term and let a few seconds of silence worry him before the people he loves remind him they love him back, whether he’s into men or not.

“I’m—” he begins to say into his now empty apartment. He’s not sure what to follow it up with.

“Gay?” He tests. He thinks about how Abby’s soft voice made his skin simmer, how chasing Taylor had sent thrills up and down his spine, the instant connection he had with Nathalia. No, he doesn’t think he’s gay.

“Straight?” He tries. The thought of Tommy’s lips on his, the gentle power behind the fingers on his face, the scruff on their chins velcroing together. The heat that catapults straight to his stomach tells him he can never call himself that ever again.

He knows there are other words. Bisexual, pansexual, demisexual… But he doesn’t want to dwell any longer on what he might be, not when who he has been over the last few days has been so awful.

The last thing Tommy asked before he left was for Buck to call Eddie and that’s all Buck wants to do.

But he still isn’t exactly sure what to say.

I’m sorry I put you in the hospital. I’m sorry I’ve been such a possessive asshole. I’m sorry I put you in the middle of whatever my feelings were doing. I’m sorry you became collateral damage when all I’ve ever wanted was to make sure our relationship never changed no matter what.

Luckily—or unluckily, he’s not quite sure—his phone is ringing before he can talk himself out of finally reaching out. His entire body freezes when he sees Eddie’s name flash across his screen, but it relaxes almost instantly when his picture comes into view.

A few months ago, Christopher decided he was too old to be the background of his dad’s contact, especially now that he has his own phone. When Buck left his phone on the dining room table to clean up dishes, Christopher took it upon himself to snap some pictures of Buck and Eddie at the sink. They’re hip to hip, almost like one of them pushed the other in jest, and Eddie’s smiling over his shoulder like he’s caught Christopher in the act.

Usually, seeing the picture sends a warmth through him at the friendship he’s created and cultivated throughout the years. One of domesticity and care that almost no other relationship in his life can match.

Today, the picture ties his stomach in a knot—like he’s broken some unspoken agreement between them or betrayed Eddie by feeling something other for Tommy. It doesn’t make sense because it’s Eddie, but he doesn’t feel like he can trust his gut feelings right now.

He can’t really trust any part of himself, not until he clears the air with Eddie and figures out where the Hell things are going with Tommy.

Caught in his spiraling mind, Buck almost misses the call and answers abruptly with a choked-out, “H-Hey!”

“Hi, Buck.” Eddie’s words exhaled like he wasn’t convinced Buck was going to answer. “I’m sorry to call so late, but Tommy called—” Buck’s heart leaps into his throat before dropping into a pit in his stomach— “and said that he’d been there to see you and that he told you to call but he wasn’t sure if you’d actually do it. He said you guys talked and you seemed worried that he was replacing you in my life?” Buck didn’t have time to breathe, let alone speak before Eddie continues. “You have to know that’s not true, Buck. Tommy could never replace you. You have a permanent place in my life and you always will. Tommy can’t even begin to change that—”

“I kissed someone!” Buck blurts out.

Buck didn’t know what he was going to say to Eddie, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. Eddie is very aware of the fact that Buck has kissed people before.

There are a few moments of silence, and Buck can hear Eddie pull the phone away from his ear like he has to check the caller ID to make sure it’s Buck he’s called.

Eddie clears his throat before he asks, “Am I supposed to be surprised, or…?”

“I—” Buck inhales deeply and lets out a shaky breath. He figures diving headfirst into this is the best way to go. “It was a guy,” Buck says as steadily as he can. He doesn’t say Tommy’s name. He’s new to this whole sexuality thing but he’s pretty sure that outing someone is a big no.

There’s more silence. It’s not unusual, really. Eddie’s never been one to jump to words before thinking them through. That was typically Buck’s job. But that doesn’t make it any easier for Buck to wait it out.

There’s something about the pause that makes Buck’s insides feel like tinder just waiting for a spark to ignite him from the inside out.

“And how do you feel about that?” Eddie asks slowly.

“Surprisingly normal,” Buck answers.

“Congratulations?” Eddie sounds unsure, but honestly, Buck is pretty unsure of most everything himself so he can relate.

“I was going to wait to tell you, figure out what this thing between Tommy and I is but—” Fuck.

“Tommy? My Tommy?”

Buck ignores the way his heart stings at Eddie’s choice of words which makes no sense because all they’d done is kiss. He shouldn’t be so easily soured at the mere thought of someone else having Tommy. Unease settles somewhere between his heart and his stomach like his mind has decided he can’t unpack all his feelings in one night.

“Your Tommy?” Buck tastes the bitterness on his tongue like he’s got a mouthful of Eddie’s too-hoppy beer that refuses to settle in his stomach.

“I just meant—” Eddie cuts himself off as if he knows it’s too late for excuses. “I didn’t think you guys were that close.”

“We ended up real close,” Buck jokes, an attempt at pushing down the awkwardness in the conversation. He swears he hears Eddie inhale sharply like there’s something painful in the words. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know what to do with this feeling, and all I wanted to do was tell you.”

Buck doesn’t know what he expects. For Eddie to have the answers, for Eddie to know him better than he knows himself like he always does, for Eddie to tell him that he’s always known or that nothing is going to change.

Then Eddie says, “I’m glad you told me.”

The sentence holds more weight in Buck’s heart than it should. It’s everything Buck imagined and, I’m glad you trust me with this part of you and I’m here for whatever you need to do next, just like I always am.

So why does Buck still feel like it says so much more?

“I’m sorry I knocked you down and sprained your ankle because I was having some sort of crisis,” Buck tries again to make Eddie laugh and this time, it works.

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to injure me to get my atte—” Eddie trails off, and Buck’s heard this sentence before. He heard it right before Tommy’s lips connected with his.

Whose attention had Buck truly been trying to get?

Why is it so hard for him to answer that question when the answer should be so… obvious?

“Next time, can you knock me over on grass or into some water? It’d be a lot easier for you to forgive yourself if I could walk away if this crisis of yours keeps going.”

Eddie’s joking, and Buck laughs. Eddie’s joking, but there’s something else there. There’s something underneath Eddie’s words that feels like hope. It can’t be hope that Buck hurts him again or hope that Buck continues to plunge deeper into crisis. It’s like an acknowledgment that Buck is going to continue to hurt him, but he’s okay with it as long as Buck cushions the blow this time.

He doesn’t know what it all means, what unspoken conversation they're having that feels half-finished but barely begun. But he does know that if he’s going to figure anything out, it’s going to be later.

For now, he revels in the feeling of Eddie’s forgiveness and the excitement of whatever is to come.

#911 on abc #911 spoilers #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 coda fic #7x4 fic #i feel like i never write from bucks pov #this fic started because i feel like im cheating on eddie #when in reality #he'll catch up eventually #and we'll all be happy again #my writing

[diazbuckleydreamer]

Flash Fic: Abby Returns

It was a pretty standard Friday at the 118. The team had been running calls every two hours or so for what felt like the entirety of their shift. They were tired, under caffeinated and more than a little ready to go home. They just had to survive the next two hours. A task that would prove slightly more difficult now that they were down a crew  member.

Buck had changed and headed out for his final followup appointment with cardiology half an hour ago. The team was more than happy to pick up the slack created by his temporary absence. All of them were just glad he was alive and doing well. If today's appointment went well, Buck would officially be done with post arrest care. He'd still have to check in with the cardiologist yearly. That would likely be a lifelong thing. But if he left the doctors in a couple hours with a clean bill of health, maybe...just maybe...Buck would be able to truly start healing. Not just learning to accept the reality of what happened, but actually healing.

That was the thought running through Eddie's head as he finished spraying off his turnout gear and hung the hose back on the wall. 

"Um, excuse me?" Eddie turned towards the soft, feminine voice and paused. He'd seen the red head walking towards him before. Something about her slightly aged skin, gentle eyes, clear thick framed glasses and hesitant expression sparked something in the back of his mind. 

Eddie took a step her way. "Yes, ma'am. How can I help you?" The woman paused a couple feet away from him before chuckling lightly. Her eyes dipped to the floor momentarily as if she was embarrassed.

"I'm looking for Buck." She told him, meeting his eyes again.

It was only as Buck's name left a woman's mouth that it all came back to him. The train wreck, the woman arguing with him, the way both she and Buck froze when they saw each other.

Abby.

Even now, years later, Eddie can hear the word leaving Buck's disbelieving mouth. He can see the look on his face, astonishment, fear, pain and even a little hope. Hope that Eddie had seen dissolve instantly the second the word fiance left her mouth.

She'd hurt him. Not just that night, but long before then. And yet, he'd still risked life and limb to bring her fiance back to her. The man was a saint sometimes. Whether he wanted to believe it or not. A quality that Eddie didn't currently share with his friend as he stared over at the man's ex.

"He isn't here." The words left his mouth harsh and finite. He watched as the woman's happy expression dropped into something resembling sadness. 

"Oh, um…" She glanced around. "Isn't this his shift?" 

Eddie's arms crossed over his chest defiantly. He shifted on his feet and bit back the nasty words primed in his head. "You still keeping tabs on your ex?" He challenged. 

Abby's eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open slightly. Eddie had to wonder if it was shock that he was calling her out, or anxiety because she'd been caught. Eddie couldn't tell, but either way, the look wasn't flattering on her. "No, I just thought…"

"How does your husband feel about you stalking your ex boyfriend?" He pushed harder, angier as he looked down and caught sight of the gold band wrapped around her finger. 

"Okay, look, I'm sorry." Her voice was calm but low. "I just thought I'd come by and see how he was doing."

"You lost the right to know how he was doing when you abandoned him and then proceeded to leave him for another man without a word." Eddie informed her. She had a lot of nerve walking into their house, Buck's home away from home, and acting like he owed her something.

Surprisingly, Abby didn't argue. Her gaze fell to the floor and stayed there for a long moment. Eddie watched the rise and fall of her chest as she contemplated his words. "Maybe you're right." She whispered, still unable to meet his accusing stare. 

"I know I am." He told her through gritted teeth. 

"Diaz!" Both Eddie and Abby's eyes snapped up to where Captain Nash stood looking down from the loft. His eyes bounced back and forth between Eddie and Abby and Eddie knew the Captain well enough to see the stunned expression in his eyes. "Abby." The word left his mouth in a guard tone. Leaving Eddie to believe that perhaps Cap was as off put by her presence as Eddie was. 

"Captain Nash." Abby's voice had softened entirely and Eddie looked over to find her beaming up at his superior like he was her saving grace in that moment. Her shift in attitude back to happy and casual pissed Eddie off more. He bit down on the inside of his lip hard enough that he tasted the blood before Cap spoke again. 

"Eddie, I need you to run inventory on the engine for me before shift change." Eddie nodded but said nothing. "Ms. Clark, would you care to join me up here for some coffee?"

Eddie wasn't sure, but he may or may not have growled. "That'd be great Captain." Abby chirped. She shot a sad look over at Eddie, before heading up to the loft.

As Eddie headed for the truck,  he prayed to any power listening that Buck went straight home after his appointment. Eddie didn't even want to consider the spiral that seeing that woman would send him into right now. It was the last thing his friend needed right now. Especially after Eddie had only recently pulled Buck out of his head about the lightning strike.

No, Buck needed to go home and relax. And Cap and Eddie, needed to get Abby the hell out of here.

‐—-----------------------------

Bobby took a centering breath before snatching the two mugs off the counter and turning towards the table. Abby sat in one of the eight chairs. She was glancing around with a sad expression and picking at her lower lip with her white painted fingernails. Bobby couldn't  help but notice the way she jumped the tiniest bit when he set the mug down in front of her, interrupting whatever thoughts were eating at her.

"I'm sorry, if Eddie upset you." He told her diplomatically as he took residence in the chair across the table from her. 

Abby sipped from her cup before the tiniest of chuckles left her chest. It sounded more like an exhale than a chuckle. But Bobby could see on the woman's face she was trying to play everything off. It was a reaction that had him on edge. "Oh, that's okay." She smiled brightly over at him. Another forced front. "He wasn't entirely wrong." She admitted. 

"No he wasn't." Bobby leveled with her, earning a surprised expression shot over the table at him. "But, I'm curious what part you think he was right about?"

Abby stared into her cup sadly. "I heard about the lightning strike." She told him. "And, I heard Buck was back at work. So, I guess I just…I wanted to see how he was doing." 

Bobby drank from his own cup as he contemplated his next words. As Captain, he didn't want to be rude to someone visiting the station. Especially since she was here to check up on one of his guys. But, as a man who watched Buck grow and experience love and happiness because of this woman, only to have her unceremoniously rip it all away from him without a single shred of remorse, he wanted to tell her to kick rocks. "Well, like you said, he's back at work. That should tell you something." He concluded. 

Abby smiled slightly. "It does." She said. "Buck is strong. It's not all that surprising he's back at it already." She paused before meeting Bobby's gaze across the table. "I was more worried about how he was doing emotionally."

Her words caused Bobby's jaw to tighten. Of course Buck had a tough time emotionally. You didn't die and wake up feeling like everything was fine and dandy. But what struck a nerve with him more than that, was the fact that she cared about Buck's feelings now, cared enough to waltz in here and ruin the peace that Buck had found without her. When she hadn't seemed to bother taking his feelings into consideration when she left him. Bobby forced his own smile. "He's doing good." He told her. It wasn't a lie. But he'd be damned if he told her the entire truth. Eddie had been right when Bobby had overheard him tell her Buck didn't owe her anything. And it wasn't right for her to act like he did. "He's got a great support system here at the station, and at home with his family." 

Abby made no effort to hide the interest that sparked inside her at the mention of his life outside of work. "So, he's doing good?" She questioned. 

Bobby had no doubt that she was curious about Buck's life without her. He wondered if she was looking for peace of mind in knowing he was happy and loved. But, based on the fact that she'd shown up here looking for him, after allowing him to risk his life for her own needs when that train derailed, he didn't entirely believe her intentions were selfless. 

"You know you hurt him right?" He questioned,  unable to play the game any longer. He knew the answer before she spoke. 

"I do." She conceded. 

"That boy loved you in a way I didn't even think was possible for him. Not at that point in time at least. He would have burned the world to the ground to make you happy. He would have sacrificed everything just to be with you." 

The sadness on her face grew deeper. It filled every feature on her face. "I know that too." She whispered down into her cup. 

A silence drew out between them. "Then why'd you do it?" Bobby shot over at her. Somehow, he managed to keep his tone level. More silence filled the air around them, interrupted only by the sound of people moving around in the bay downstairs. 

Abby shook her head. "I just couldn't do it." She said, still unable to look over at him. "I was so lost after my mom died. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted out of life anymore." 

Unfortunately, Bobby could fully understand that feeling. Grief had a way of robbing even the strongest people of their ambition, hope and happiness. It wasn't unheard of for people on the outside to get caught in the darkness. But even though Bobby understood, he wouldn't let Buck be another casualty. The man had been through enough. "But you knew you didn't want Buck." He concluded.

At his words, Abby's head shot up. She pinned him with a look that was both shock as well as defiance. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." Bobby leveled. "If you had loved Buck, you wouldn't have run. You wouldn't have left him here to watch you leave while allowing him to believe that you'd be back." His voice was growing harsher. He tried to reel it in. "All you had to do was tell him."  

Abby sighed. "I really did think I'd be back. At least, at first." She told him.

"At what point did that change?" Bobby threw at her, no longer fighting to hide his anger. "Was it when he was here supporting you with everything he had; trusting that you loved him and would come back when you were ready? Was it when he was calling you, every chance he got; hoping with just as much energy that you'd spare just a few minutes for him? Or was it when he finally began to see what was really happening? When he felt like a fool for believing you ever really loved him?"

"I did love him!" Abby snapped back. Tears pooled in her eyes and she took a heavy breath to try and keep from crying. 

Bobby sat back and bit back his anger. He counted to ten in his head as he watched the woman across the table fighting back sobs. He still had no idea what she was so sad about. She was the one that came out on top. At least on the surface. She found someone she loved more and moved on; got married. "If that's the truth, you'll leave." He told her bluntly. 

"What?" The word was shaky. But she looked over at Bobby the same way Buck did during their many heart to heart conversations-with rapt attention.

"You and I both know that you’ll cause Buck nothing but pain if he finds out you're here. The man has been through hell and back over the past few months let alone the years it's been since you walked out on him. Leave. Let him maintain his peace. And if you truly care for him, take comfort in knowing his friends and family are here for him."

Taking a shaky breath, Abby simply nodded. Bobby let her sit with the truth of the situation for a moment before he stood and stared down at her. 

"I'll walk you out."

—--------------------

Eddie was just finishing up the inventory checklist when movement on the stairs leading to the loft caught his attention. He looked over to find Abby descending the stairs with Cap immediately behind her. Abby looked utterly defeated. Something that probably shouldn't have made Eddie as happy as it did. He made no move to look away as the two passed him. And he didn't miss the sad puppy dog expression that she gave him as she walked by. He watched until she was out the bay doors and had disappeared around the corner. All the while Cap stood just inside, watching her go.

"What'd you say to her?" Eddie asked as Cap moved past him. He watched the older man stop and turn back to him. His face was hard set, unreadable. 

"I told her the truth." He said simply. "That Buck was better off without her."

A grin pressed Eddie's lips. "Damn straight he is." He muttered. More to himself than to Cap. But the words still garnered him attention from his superior. 

"I have to ask." Cap began, folding his arms over his chest. "You weren't even here when Abby and Buck were together. So, why do you seem so invested in keeping her away from him?" 

The question surprised Eddie. Who had thought his motivation was the same as everyone else's, including Cap's. "I watched him slowly lose hope the same way you guys did." Eddie argued. "Whether I was here when they were physically together or not doesn't matter."

Cap considered his words for a long moment, and Eddie took the chance to continue. 

"Plus, I was there at the scene of the train wreck. I saw the way he changed the second he saw her. Saw the hurt in his eyes when she told him her fiance was missing. Why wouldn't I want to keep someone who causes that much pain away from my best friend?"

"She made him a better person." Cap's words were so low, Eddie almost didn't hear them. It was as if he were trying to convince himself as much as he was Eddie. 

"According to Buck, you made him a better person." Eddie argued, causing Cap to glance over at him in surprise. "Abby was just the one there to show him what he was capable of."

"You sure that's how Buck sees it?" Cap challenged. 

Eddie shook his head. "He can't see the true role Abby played in his life because he was blinded by his love for her. But the fact that he's still a great man and not the little shit head it sounds like he used to be, is proof it wasn't her, it was you."

Cap took a deep breath. "It was all of us." A grin lit his face. "Even you." He told Eddie before turning and walking away. 

Eddie knew that Buck and him had become vital in each other's lives. But the thought that somehow, some way, Eddie contributed to making Buck the amazing man he was, put a smile on his face and warmed his heart. 

#911 abc #911 fox #911 fanfic #eddie diaz #evan 'buck' buckley #abby clark #bobby nash #flash fiction #fanfic

[probieravi]

eggs, sick, ask, plane

eggs — ttds/post-lawsuit au

The worst part of San Diego is that everywhere he looks, he sees his team.

It’s the hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves Eggs Benedict just like Bobby used to make during slow shifts; it’s seeing a joke on a billboard and immediately wanting to text it to Chimney; it’s staying up late on his shitty couch in his shitty apartment watching reality TV and wishing he could turn to Maddie and talk about the terrible decisions everyone’s making.

It’s seeing a sign for the zoo and missing Christopher and Eddie like a missing limb; it’s being alone, on the Trolley or at the Natural History Museum or even at his new fire station and wanting, more than anything, to be back with Chris and Eddie. Be back at home.

But he can’t. He left home behind months ago.

sick — exes to lovers amnesia au

Buck wants to put it on the record that he doesn’t actually like full moon shifts. Sure, that one shift he did when him and Abby were going somewhere was—interesting, to say the least, but he doesn’t make a habit out of getting scheduled on the full moon. In fact, he actively avoids it if he can. 

But Lucy is back at the 147 permanently, and Hernandez is out sick, so the team is down a man for the upcoming 24, and Buck really, really doesn’t have an excuse as to why he can’t take it. 

So, he does. 

That’s his first mistake.

ask — kindergarten teacher/school nurse au

“So,” Maddie says, perching at the edge of Buck’s desk. She has to shift over some still-wet finger paintings to sit properly, and Buck braces himself for whatever she’s going to say next. He knows his sister, and he certainly knows her meddling voice. “When are you going to ask him out?”

“Ask who out?” Buck murmurs, staring at the spelling quizzes in front of him. Maybe if he doesn’t entertain Maddie’s very obvious prodding she’ll leave him alone and return to the library where she belongs.

“Nurse Diaz,” Maddie says, and Buck knows she’s got a stupid Cheshire-cat grin on her face. “I’ve seen the way you look at him in the break room.”

“I don’t look at him.” It’s a lie, and they both know it, so Buck deflects. “You shouldn’t be talking, by the way. I know you’ve been wanting Chimney to ask you out for weeks now.”

plane — hockey player/physical therapist au

It’s kind of surprising, really, when Buck sits next to him on the plane.

Eddie is against the window, a shitty mystery novel Hen leant him in one hand and a bottle of water in the other; the plastic creaks between his fingers as the engine starts to rumble. He feels it, then; the subtle tug beneath his sternum, the same one that’s been there every time he’s flown anywhere since he came home from Afghanistan. Since the helicopter—

“Nervous flyer?”

Eddie looks up, head snapping toward the aisle so quick he hears it crack. He’s expecting Chimney, maybe Ravi, or one of the other guys Eddie hasn’t quite learned the name of, but it’s—

“Buckley,” Eddie says, his voice a little rough from disuse. Buck sends him a meaningful look, and Eddie corrects, “Buck.”

“That seat taken?”

send me a word & i'll reply with a snippet from my wip!

#MWAH MWAH MWAH #drew 💌 #reply #t/n au #hockey au #amnesia fic #ttds fic #fic update

[ads1008]

Hopefully it isn’t too late

“Buck, no offense but you are painfully single,” Chim yelled from the kitchen. Buck rolled his eyes as he cleaned the table from dinner.

“I am not. I’m just living in the world of being single which is good for me. After Abby, I should just date myself for a while.”

Bobby, Hen, and Chim paused, staring at his statement.

“Buck, I love whatever this is but how long till you find the next girl,” Hen asked.

“Or guy.” Buck chimed in.

“Right.” Hen said.

Buck wasn’t ready. He had been Buck 1.0 from the time he graduated high school till he met Abby. Abby wasn’t the first person Buck saw himself settling with and starting a life with. No, that person was a teenage dream of his.

Buck decided that the year 26 was going to be his year of being single. He owed it to himself to discover who he was outside of his Pennsylvania trauma and firefighter trauma. Buck needed to learn who Buck was outside everyone else's influence.

“Guys, I’m being serious. Welcome to the year of single Buck.” Buck beamed.

“Hey, I’m Eddie Diaz, new recruit.”

Buck froze without moving knowing that name. Knowing that voice. Buck turned around slowly to see Eddie Diaz. The Eddie Diaz he said goodbye to at sixteen after their summer was over. The Eddie Diaz that promised him, he would find him again.

There goes the year of single Buck.

—------------------

“I’m done. I’m leaving.” Eddie stood up from the chair as his parents looked at him in astonishment.

“Where are you going to go, Eddie? Are you really going to drag Christopher?” His mom asked him.

Eddie continued to walk away. He knew exactly where he was going to go. Los Angeles of dreams. A place that once was his dream to go. To find the boy he only ever loved once again. —------------------------- Eddie stepped out of his truck, feeling ready for his next chapter in life. Firefighter. He looked around at the fire engines and loft that must hold all of his coworkers. He took each step two at a time in excitement. Eddie was ready to get out there and be part of the action again. “Hi, I’m Eddie Diaz, new recruit.” Eddie introduces himself. He looked around to notice his new crew giving him bright smiles. All but the one guy standing in front of him. The man turned around slowly to reveal Buck. Buck, the love of his life.

“Buck?” Eddie whispered not believing his eyes.

“Eddie?” Buck whispered back. Neither one of them moved but neither one of them broke eye contact.

The others in the room just looked back at one another in confusion. Captain Nash stepped forward stretching a hand out to Eddie. Eddie snapped out of the trace he was in, to shake his new captain’s hand.

“So, do you and Buck know each other?”

“Yeah, Bobby, we um went to football camp together in high school,” Buck spoke first turning to Bobby.

Damn, Eddie, though. Buck was so much taller now and thick. Buck definitely worked out and often. Eddie continued trailing down Buck’s body stopping to notice all of his tattoos. He wondered about the stories behind each one of them.

“Right, Eddie.”

Eddie snapped out of his dirty daydream to find everyone was looking at him.

“Um.”

Buck smiled at him. The same smile he missed. The smile from the late nights by the lake, laying under the stars.

“It’s been like what ten years we have seen each other right man.” Buck laughed. He clapped a hand onto Eddie’s shoulder guiding him down the stairs. “Cap, I’m going to show Eddie, where to change. By the way Hen, Howard but we call him Chimney. Anyways let's go.” Then he proceeded to push Eddie down the stairs.

Buck shoved Eddie into a room that was definitely not the locker room but Eddie didn’t care. It was nice to be somewhere just the two of them because it was still weird to see Buck in all places as a firefighter. A part of him was hoping he would find Buck in L.A. This was their plan right to find each other again in L.A. after ten years.

“Edmundo,” Buck whispered.

“Evan,” Eddie whispered. Eddie’s back was against the wall. Buck’s against the door. The space between them felt infinite even though it was only a few steps.

“I don’t know what to do,” Buck said.

“Neither do I.”

“I really hoped I wasn’t right but I just assumed I would never see you again. Turns out I was wrong. I’m so glad I was wrong.” Buck noted. He stepped forward closing the distance.

���I’m glad you were wrong too.”

Eddie stepped forward, dropping his bag in the process. They were chest to chest with neither one moving any farther. Eyes locked on each other smiles kept on each one of their lips.

“I just got out of a really bad relationship,” Buck choked, taking a step back.

Eddie could feel his heart drop into his stomach. A breath caught in his throat. What did Eddie expect? Buck just didn’t date anyone. He was waiting for Eddie for the last ten years. That was crazy of him to think especially since he was still married.

“I have a wife.” Eddie blurted back. “But I haven’t spoken to her in years.”

“Yeah, I haven’t actually spoken to Abby in four months.”

Buck and Eddie stared at each other not knowing where to go from there.

“Friends.” Eddie laughed. Buck smiled back.

“Yeah, friends.”

They both knew it was better to have one another as friends than it was to not have each other at all.

“I also have a kid.”

“What?” Buck shouted.

Eddie shrugged knowing it was crazy they were just telling each other all about the messiest parts of their lives. That was BuckandEddie for you. No secrets between them. —----------------------------------------------------------------- Partners once again. Eddie and Buck were seamless in the field. Both were able to read exactly what the other one needed both physically but also emotionally. Eddie comfort Buck after a failed rescue. Buck supporting Eddie with Christopher. Buck and Eddie sat on Eddie’s couch after putting Chris to bed. This was usual accordance for them. Buck spent more time at Eddie’s than at his own apartment. Eddie’s navy blue couch became his bed. Morning pancakes were asked from Chris each morning.

“So, I called Shannon and sent the divorce papers over for her to sign,” Eddie said without breaking eye contact from the movie they were watching.

Buck sat up swinging his legs off of Eddie’s.

“Really?”

Eddie turned, shaking his head yes. This was what they wanted right? They were both single now so they could rekindle what they had as young boys.

Eddie leaned forward giving Buck a smirk.

"I asked Aly out," Buck blurted out.

Eddie leaned back with just an oh. Oh as in he read everything wrong. Oh as in maybe they weren't on the same page. Maybe Buck didn't see him like a forever anymore." —----- Fuck, fuck, fuck! Buck thought. Why did he say he asked out Aly? Why did he even ask out Aly in the first place?

Probably because it seemed Eddie and Shannon were going to get back together. Buck felt silly just waiting for nothing. Then the one thing he was waiting for Eddie to do, divorce Shannon, was happening and he went and screwed it up.

Buck stood up, collected his stuff, and walked out the door. For the first night in a long time, he was going back to his apartment which didn't feel like his home anymore. —------------------ Aly didn't work out. We all knew this was going to happen. Buck should have just called her the night he left Eddie's and canceled the date. He should have just turned around and walked back in telling Eddie how he felt.

Now work was awkward. Life was awkward. It was like Buck and Eddie were dancing around each other with each interaction. There were quick glances back and forth when neither one of them was looking.

The sorries and excuse mes as they passed each other in different areas in the firehouse. When they were in the field though, they were still a machine.

"What is wrong with the two of you?" Hen asked Buck as they straightened up the ambulance.

Buck sat down the pack of gloves he was restocking. How could he explain what was going on without sharing the long history that was him and Eddie? Neither one of them has given anyone on the team details about their relationship from when they were teenagers. To really grasp the problem he would have to tell Hen.

"Buck and I dated before when we were kids."

Hen covered her mouth in pretend shock.

"Kinda assumed that after the first day when you two snuck off to the utility closet."

"Well, we never expected to see each other again. We hoped but knew it might have been impossible. Well, then we realized we were both in really weird places. So, we agreed to be friends." Buck rattled on telling Hen all about the night at Eddie's.

"So, you love him. Tell Eddie and see where things will go. This whole being weird around each other is making everything else super weird." Hen noted. She placed the rest of the gauze in her hand in their spot and then jumped out leaving Buck alone with his thoughts. —----------- Buck searched everywhere for Eddie. It was like Eddie was hiding so Buck wouldn't find him. That made him feel shitty and think Eddie didn't want to be around him at all.

There Eddie was by the fire engine. Buck jogged over ready to confuse his feelings and hoped Eddie was too. The alarm bell rang. They looked at each other for a split second before pulling on their gear and jumped into the firetruck.

When they reached the call they were at a house that was burning. Two stories, with minimum smoke but heavy flames on the right side.

"Dispatched noted that there was a child trapped in the upstairs bedroom on the left. Looking at this fire we have about ten minutes to get the girl and get out. Buck and Eddie go search for the girl."

They ran inside beelining it straight upstairs to the bedroom.

"Katie, LAFD, are you in here?" Buck shouted.

Eddie went to look in the closet and under the bed. He looked up at Buck shaking his head no. Buck huffed running out of the room down the hall which he assumed to be the parents' room.

Buck looked at every inch of the room with no luck.

"Dispatched, this firefighter Buckley. There is no sign of the little girl. What room do you think she might be in?"

"Buck! I've found her. Bathroom," Eddie shouted through the raging sound of fire.

Buck ran to the bathroom to find Eddie already carrying the girl.

"Go, I'm right behind you," Buck shouted, directing Eddie to move. —------------- Eddie emerged from the front door to be met by Hen and Chimney with a gurney. Eddie sat the girl down and took a step back to allow them to do their jobs.

"Eddie, where's Buck?" Cap asked.

Eddie turned around quickly to find Buck not there. Panic rose in his chest as the fire was getting higher.

“He was right behind us,” Eddie said speaking slowly and evenly.

“Firefighter Buckley come in,” Cap called.

Silence on the radio. Eddie ran towards the house to go look for Buck but as he did the fire wooshed toward his direction. Eddie jumped back, assessing the situation. Buck was okay, he was right behind him so what happened?

Not another second later Buck was walking out with a little brown dog. Eddie ran over to him looking at him in shock.

“Hey, I had to save this little guy. Hoped I didn’t worry you too much.” Buck teased.

Buck was covered in muck and soot but Eddie didn’t care. Eddie pulled him into a hug letting the tension wash away from him.

“Use your damn radio next time.” Eddi scrawled, hitting Buck lightly on the shoulder. —----------------------- “Hey, can we talk?” Buck asked.

Eddie opened his truck door swung his bag into the back seat and then closed it. He turned to look at Buck walking towards him. Eddie nodded his head yes as Buck stopped in front of his bumper.

“What’s up?”

“I was an idiot. I should never have gone out or even asked Aly out. I got in my head like I always do and assume you and I would never have what we had that summer a long time ago. I assumed you didn’t want me,” Buck confessed. Eddie stepped forward grabbing both of Buck’s shoulders and pulling him close. Buck was still self-deprecating. Still ready to self-destruct anything good in his life. It was easy to run before the other person ran first.

“I want you, Buck. I want all of you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you got on that bus ten years ago. I honestly suspected you to forget me.”

Buck shocked his head no. Eddie continued.

“This is going to sound crazy but after my life seemed like it was exploding in Texas, I knew I had to move to L.A. There was a part of me that just hoped that you would be here too. I was right.”

Eddie moved his hands down Bucks's arms wrapping a hand around his waist and pulling him even closer. Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck leaving them in a place of just them. The world was just them.

“Kiss me,” Buck whispered.

Eddie kissed Buck lightly like they no longer needed to rush. They no longer needed to hurry because one of them might leave. Neither one of them was going anywhere. Eddie finally had Buck and Buck finally had Eddie.

Buck tasted like stale coffee and popcorn. He smelled just the same. Gain, took him back to their first kiss, To the late nights on the lake. Now that they were all grown up they could go out on real dates and make new memories.

Eddie took a step back but didn’t let go of Buck. He took him in for a second. For the first time even though they have reunited for several months, Eddie noticed how much Buck had gone from the shaggy hair boy he loved to the man with deep wounds. Eddie understood it as something that also had a few skeletons in the closet.

“Wanna go on a date,” Eddie asked.

Buck nodded with a smile. —-------------------------------- Buck sat at the restaurant waiting for Eddie. They agreed to make this feel like a real date, So no carpooling. They texted and talked to each other all that day as they got ready.

Buck struggled to figure out something to wear. Nothing seemed to be right or enough for a date with Eddie. He finally decided on a white shirt with tan pants and a blue blazer. He wasn’t too dressed up but was still nice-looking.

Buck grabbed his glass of water to take a slip when Eddie walked in looking hot as hell. Buck almost spilled his water at how good Eddie looked. Eddie was in a tight pair of black pants and a tight blue button-up with the sleeves rolled up. He had sunglasses on that he quickly took off and placed in the front of his shirt which was slightly open.

“Hey, you look nice,” Eddie said.

Buck jumped up from his seat after blinking back into reality from his thoughts of what he could do to Eddie or more importantly what Eddie could do to him. Buck came around the table bumping into it as he tried to pull Eddie’s chair out for him causing their waters to tip over.

“Shit,” Buck gasped quickly trying to clean up the mess. Eddie grabbed his hand stopping him from making a bigger mess.

“Buck, it’s okay,” Eddie said and then he looked around laughing. “What are we doing?”

Fear rosed in Buck’s chest. Was Eddie regretting this? Should they not have gone on a date? This was such a disaster, Buck thought.

“This isn’t us.” Eddie gestured around the fancy restaurant with everyone in suit jackets and designer dresses. Eddie grabbed Buck’s hand pulling him out of the restaurant to his truck.

“Eddie, where are we going? What about my Jeep?” Buck questioned as Eddie picked him up and sat him in the truck seat.

“Call Maddie to pick it up. We have a date to get to.” Eddie jumped into the driver’s seat and sped off towards the beach. —-------------------- “Stay, okay? Until you hear me calling your name.” Eddie said.

Eddie parked the truck getting out to grab all of the needed stuff. A blanket, a picnic basket, and a bouquet of flowers. Eddie ran the best he could to the edge of the ocean that was close enough to the water but far enough not to get wet.

“Buck! Buck,” Eddie shouted.

Buck jumped out of the truck took his shoes off placing them on the floorboard and ran over to where Eddie was standing. Standing holding a bouquet that was bigger than his head. Standing next to a picnic all set up for the two of them.

“Why did you make me plan the date and make reservations when you know how much I hate talking on the phone.” Buck teased.

“I wanted to surprise you and you would have figured out everything I would have planned. Or you would have pulled it out of Christopher so I had to trick you. Sorry, babe.” Eddie smiled handing Buck the flowers.

Buck sat them on the blanket and kissed Eddie.

“Babe, now we are at the pet names.”

“What do you think?”

“I like it.”

They sat down and had the amazing dinner Eddie somehow made. Buck would like to think he got Carla’s help. They talked about everything under the sun until the sun indeed set leaving them tangled in limbs under the stars.

“This reminds me of our dates by the lake at camp,” Buck said laying his head on Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah, that's why I did this. I thought it would have been cool to recreate our first date. It’s no lake but it's a pretty damn good second option.” Eddie kissed the top of Buck’s head, intertwining their fingers together.

I’m going to marry this man, Buck thought. Buck was the happiest he had been in forever and Eddie made him that way.

“I could stay here with you forever but I was thinking we could get some dessert.”

Buck sat up on his elbows giving Eddie a teasing look.

“My place or yours?” —---------------------------- Life was amazing for the two of them. They were dating now for eight months. Buck moved in two months ago. Eddie became an official firefighter and there were talks of marriage. Nothing final, they both knew they would love to one day.

Things still weren’t sunshine and rainbows. They still had a lot of adjusting to do. They both had to still figure out who each of them was now that they were almost thirty. It wasn’t easy.

“Oh my God, Buck, would you just stop? We aren’t teenagers anymore. Grow up.” Eddie pleaded throwing his hands up into the air.

“What do you want me to say sorry? Eddie, I had to do the rope rescue. That’s our job.” Buck exclaimed leaning against the kitchen counter. “It’s not that. I know what this job pertains to. I’m the one holding the damn rope. The cutting the rope and then smashing the window in to get into the building. It’s like you have no self-regard. You don’t care if you get hurt or not.”

“Once again Eddie, that’s part of the job.”

Buck turned around looking out of their kitchen window. What did Eddie want from him? That was the type of firefighter he was. They take the risks and deal with the consequences later. Often times he was right and saved the day.

“You know what if you don’t understand why this is a big deal then just sleep on the couch tonight. You’re a grown-ass man. You figure it out.” Eddie pushed up their kitchen door leaving Buck in the kitchen alone.

“Fuck,” Buck whispered to himself.

That night Buck laid on the couch he never thought he would ever have to sleep on again. He stared at the ceiling trying to still reel his brain around what that fight was all about. It wasn’t the first time he ever put himself at risk with Eddie being right there to catch him if he fell. Eddie put himself in harm's way all of the time too and Buck never got mad at him.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a whimper. Buck threw his blanket off heading straight for Christopher’s bedroom. He pushed the door quietly to find his psedoson was fast asleep.

Buck took a step back closing the door still hearing the whimpers. He walked slowly to his and Eddie’s bedroom to find Eddie thrashing in his sleep. Buck ran over to him trying to wake him up.

“No, no. Buck, don’t leave.” Eddie cried in his sleep.

Buck shook him awake. Eddie’s eyes flew open, grabbing Buck’s arms.

“Hey, hey, Eddie I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. Look I’m here.” Buck reassured him. Buck grabbed his hand placing it over his heart so, Eddie could feel the steady beats.

“Buck,” Eddie whispered.

Buck nodded. “Yeah.”

Eddie broke down cries falling into Buck’s arms. Buck ran a hand up and down his back shushing him and reassuring him.

“I get it now. I will be more careful. I promise.” Buck did promise. Buck and Eddie talked about Eddie’s time in the military. Buck knew his time had changed him a lot. The problem was Eddie was so good at hiding his PTSD. He never wanted to talk about it even when he was shaking in his sleep or when he was up for hours after the both of them were supposed to sleep. The panic attacks came and went. Buck never thought he would be the reason for one.

“I’m calling Frank in the morning,” Buck said. Eddie agreed. This would be good for both of them. Eddie wasn’t the only one with mental health problems. To be able to be the best for each other they had to make sure they took care of themselves first. —-------------------------------------- It had been two years since Eddie walked back into Buck’s life. Buck knew what he wanted to do next.

Buck walked into his now official son’s bedroom. He adopted Chris on his and Eddie’s first-year anniversary. Christopher sat on his bed playing video games as an almost ten-year-old would. Buck sat in Chris’s desk chair across from him.

“Hey, Chris can I talk to you for a second?”

Chris paused his game putting the remote down to smile at Buck.

“Sure, Buck.”

“I was thinking about asking your dad to marry me.”

“Finally!”

Buck was taken aback by the examination but also thought that was very sweet.

“So, your cool with it.”

“Duh, you’re my dad too so now we can have a party.” Christopher laughed.

“Wow, that was easier than I thought,” Buck laughed, “Buddy just don’t tell your dad.”

“Don’t tell your dad what,” Eddie asked as he peaked his head in the door.

Buck looked quickly at Christopher to give him the “don’t say anything” look.

“I was thinking about getting my haircut and wanted to surprise you.”

Eddie scrunch up his eyebrows and gave Buck a confused look and then just walked away. Buck sighed in relief. That was close. —--------------------------------- Nothing Buck thought of to propose to Eddie was good enough. Everything was cheesy or overdone. Didn’t feel like them until both of them had a chance to go back to Austin. Back to the same camp that brought them together. They were shipped down there to help the 126 of Austin fire department where they were able to reconnect with Judd and Paul. After the assignment was done they decided to stay for an extra to visit the camp.

Buck and Eddie walked hand and hand down the old path in the forest that lead down to the lake. To their spot.

“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if didn’t have to leave each other? If we were able to stay together.” Eddie wondered.

“I feel we wouldn’t be the people we are today. We wouldn’t have become our best selves for one another as we have been. There would have been no Christopher.”

Eddie nodded in agreement. Life was how it was meant to be. It was meant to be. Eddie turned to look at Buck to find him bending one knee holding a box with a ring.

“Eddie I met you hear over ten years ago and fell in love with you. Even though we had to say goodbye to one another we were able to find each other again. I want it where we will never have to say goodbye to each other again. Will you marry me?”

Eddie felt tears stream down his face. He bent over pulling Buck onto his feet and kissing him hard. Kissing him with all the years that were lost between them. Kissing with all of the years they will gain between them. Kissing him with the fact of forever.

“Does that mean yes?”

“Yes, Evan, I will marry you.”

#Buddie #ash's blurbs #The sequel to Time wasn't in our favor. #911 fox

[ablazenqueen]

Me, everytime Buck or Eddie get a new love interest and start acting weird around each other, spitting out the love interest’s name like it’s poison, stumbling over their words, not wanting to hear about them but also pushing for information and bringing it up when literally no one asked: They’re clearly jealous and in love with each other!

#I have receipts if anyone needs to see them #eddie snapping abby’s name #eddie butting in when buck and taylor are chatting #buck stuttering as he asks eddie about his date #buck bringing up ana in front of the firefam #eddie and buck both being weirdly dismissive of the more serious conversations though #like the post-clown ana talk or the post-turkey veronica talk #I can’t believe I just said ‘post-clown’ and ‘post-turkey’ #anyways point made enjoy your day ❤️ #buddie #evan ‘buck’ buckley #eddie diaz #jealous eddie #jealous buck #911 fox #*my stuff

[drysdaales]

looking at you, looking at me

Buck knows the moment he hears the words that he’s made a mistake.

And then he backtracks, because he’s good at backtracking, and Taylor’s telling him she loves him, and this is the first non-high school partner to say this to him so he’s done something right. So after his stupid response of “good,” he pauses a moment and looks back at her. “I love you, too,” he says, and he hopes his expression is less confused and more teasing, because he was certain she was breaking up with him not even moments ago.

And now she’s saying “I love you.” And throwing a string bean at him. And he’s good with flirting and having fun and teasing and he jokingly tells her he knows all her secrets and all she can say is that Kelly is her middle name, and he totally fucked this up, because he’s close to pretty sure what he felt with Abby was love, and he does not feel the same now.

Hen is going to laugh in his face about it. And maybe be sympathetic, too. Eddie will surely laugh in his face. He wishes Chimney was there to laugh in his face. Bobby’s right, though. How does this keep happening to him? And why is he not the one on the other side like normal?

So he gets to work, and maybe he’s moping a little, but he thinks he’s entitled to it. He doesn’t want to be laughed at even though he one hundred percent deserves it, and it would probably make him feel better. He wants to wallow, he wants to be miserable for a day. And if he can do it at work, where Taylor won’t see, well. Better for him, honestly.

He’s sighed around the coffee maker one too many times apparently, because Hen snaps her book shut and swivels around on her bar stool, giving him an unimpressed look. He blinks innocently.

“Spill, Buck,” she says, and Buck swallows.

“It’s nothing.”

He says it too quickly, must say it too quickly because— “It’s nothing?"  Eddie’s saying, sliding onto the seat next to Hen. “Never heard you, Evan Buckley, say it’s ‘nothing.’”

“Okay,” Buck starts, “if you’re going to be rude about it, I’m definitely not talking about it.” And it’s fine, he’s only mostly kidding, but he is an idiot and definitely wants to get out of this relationship without hurting Taylor which will not happen, so he thinks, maybe, if he can put it off a little longer—

“Buck, come on.” And there’s the sympathy. Hen’s looking at him with a pinched frown. “You’ve been sighing all morning.”

“I’m tired,” he offers. Eddie scoffs.

“Buck,” Hen tries again, and then Ravi’s sitting next to her, and he has six pairs of eyes on him, scrutinizing, and maybe if Buck looks directly at Ravi this will all feel better. He hopes it’ll all feel better. Ravi won’t judge him too harshly. Ravi likes him, even.

Buck shuts his eyes. If he can’t see it, it can’t hurt him. “Taylor told me she loved me,” he says, so rushed it all blends together like it’s one word. When he opens his eyes, Hen’s eyebrows have hit her hairline, and Eddie just blinks in his direction.

read the rest on ao3!

#911 on fox #buddie #911 fic #buddie fic #anti-bucktaylor #evan buckley #eddie diaz #my writing #<3 #grace speaks

[favefandomimagines]

I Bought A Ring (e.b.)

Summary: Abby’s back and Buck doesn’t know how to handle the news. And neither do you. 

AN: i’m still PISSED that abby came back even if only for an episode, my poor buck was so hurt ): this was something i had deep in my drafts and now that buck is blowing up it seemed like a good time to post it!

there is a buck fic similar to this and i just wanna say that i did not copy or steal the idea. i’ve had this in my drafts for months since season 3 ended so no one stole anyone’s idea! if you wanna check out their fic their username is @lotsoflovefromlea and the fic is titled ‘Second Best’ it’s really really good

You didn’t think you’d have to face the day when Buck’s past came back to haunt him. You were hoping it would stay in the past and you would be his future. But life has a funny way of putting us to the test. 

After the train crash, and Buck saw Abby again, he had been acting distant. Distant enough for you to notice that something was wrong. It wasn’t hard to notice, especially when the two of you live together. 

He would rarely talk when you had the same shift at the 118, there was no conversation during dinner and he’d come to bed long after you had already fallen asleep. 

It had gotten to the point where you didn’t even remember the last time he kissed you or touched you. And you had enough of the maltreatment. 

You exited the shower and saw him standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. You walked down the stairs and stood across from him, the tension between the two of you painfully obvious. 

“What’s been going on with you?” You asked, breaking the ice. “What do you mean?” He asked, not meeting your gaze. “Seriously? Buck, you’ve been acting like I killed your dog for three weeks since the train crash. What the hell is going on?” You explained. 

Buck sighed before looking up at you. He knew he couldn’t keep secrets from you. Including ones that could possibly change your relationship. 

“Abby reached out to me. She wanted to meet up to talk.” He said. Buck could tell by the way your right eyebrow was raised and your eyes narrowed that you were not happy. “Really? And you went?” You asked. “Yeah.” Buck answered quietly. 

You laughed bitterly before walking around the counter back towards the stairs. “God, you just can’t seem to let her go, can you?” You started. “It’s been, what? Two years? Two years since she left you for her ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ experience and got engaged? And who was the one who never left your side? Me. It was me, Evan and even now, you can’t seem to realize how terrible she was to you. Face it, you were her midlife crisis and you fell in love with her and never fell back out. All while making me fall in love with you.” You finished. 

Sure you were a tad bit cruel, but it was what he needed to hear. No one wanting to be the one who had to pop his perfect bubble when it came to Abby. 

“I stayed with you when you were suing the department for christ sake! And I can’t do it anymore, Evan.” You added. There it was again. His dreaded first name. The name you never used unless you were beyond angry with him. And he hated hearing it come from your lips. “Y/N, what do you mean?” He asked. 

Fear was coursing through his body as he waited for you to finally leave him. After everything he put you through, Abby was the last straw. 

“I mean, maybe we should take a break. Until you figure out what it is you really want.” You answered. It wasn’t something you wanted nor did you think it would ever happen. “No. No, no, Y/N, don’t do this.” He begged, walking towards you. “I have too. Since she came back, this relationship has been one sided and I don’t deserve that.” You said. 

“Please, Y/N, I love you.” Buck told you. “Do you? Because you have a funny way of showing it.” You replied. You swiftly grabbed your keys and your purse and made a path towards the exit. “So this is it? You’re breaking up with me?” Buck asked, causing you to stop. 

“I don’t want to. But you seem to have unresolved feelings for Abby and you can’t claim to love one person wholeheartedly when you clearly don’t. Figure it out, Buck. But remember who was here when no one else was.” You answered before leaving the house. 

You didn’t know where else to go after you left. So you decided to go to Bobby and Athena’s. Bobby was like a father to you when you joined the 118 and you trusted him more than you trusted most people. 

After trying to straighten yourself up and wipe the tears from your face, you got out of the car and headed to the front door. You knocked a couple of times and waited for the door to open. 

When it did, Athena’s face softened when she saw you and instantly knew something was wrong. “Y/N? What’s wrong? What happened?” She asked, ushering you inside. “I didn’t know where else to go.” You answered. 

Bobby, wondering who was at the door, turned the corner and saw you standing in the entryway. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked. “Buck and I got into a fight. He went to meet up with Abby and he didn’t tell meand I just, I just don’t understand why he won’t let her go. Am I not enough?” You explained. 

Athena shushed you and pulled you into a hug to comfort you. She knew Buck was stubborn but not so much that you felt you had to leave. Bobby was furious. He hated seeing you so upset and he was frustrated with the young man for making you think you weren’t enough for him. 

After a few minutes, Athena made up the guest bedroom for you and said you could stay as long as you needed. But you hoped it wouldn’t have to be for long. 

__

Bobby arrived at the station in search for Buck and found him sulking while Hen and Chimney were grilling him about his mood. “What’s wrong with you today?” Chimney asked. “Him and Y/N got in a fight last night and she walked out on him.” Bobby answered for him. 

Buck looked up at his captain with wide eyes, wondering how he knew about the prior events. “She stayed at mine and Athena’s last night.” He added. Buck let out a sigh of relief, mainly because he was worried sick about you. You didn’t answer a single one of his calls or texts and he didn’t know where you went off to. 

“Why did she walk out on you?” Hen asked. “Because I may have went to meet up with Abby the other day. And apparently I had been acting distant towards Y/N and she confronted me.” Buck explained. “Seriously? You still have feelings for Abby?” Hen asked. “No, Hen-” Buck tried to explain but was interrupted by his coworkers. 

“Y/N is the perfect girl for you and you’re throwing her away for someone who left you?” She continued. “Hen,” Buck started. “You’re stupid but not this stupid.” She said. “Hen! I don’t have feelings for Abby anymore. I wanted to give her a chance to explain why she left and to thank her. Because if she wouldn’t have left, I wouldn’t have met Y/N.” Buck interrupted. 

“And I,” He started before he stopped himself, not sure if he wanted to tell everyone his secret. “You what?” Eddie asked. Buck looked up at his friends before sighing. “I bought a ring.” He answered. “Wait, what?” Chimney asked. “I bought a ring. I was going to propose but then I got all in my head after Abby showed up. I thought Y/N would say no and she’d leave me just like Abby did.” Buck explained. 

The rest of the 118 crew was silent as they looked down at Buck. Hen sat down across from him before speaking. “That girl is head over heels in love with you, Buck. She has been since the first time she met you and the last thing she would do is leave you like Abby did. Though, because of Abby, she felt she had no choice.” She said. 

“I need to get her back. I didn’t even know what to do this morning without her.” Buck said. “When does she come in for her shift?” He asked Bobby. “She was supposed to be here by now. She left before me.” The man answered. 

Before anyone could form a theory about your whereabouts, the bell went off signaling they had a call. 

They soon arrived to the scene of a car accident, one car completely flipped upside down. 

The 118 stopped short, however, when they noticed who’s car was upside down. It was yours that was hit by a guy texting and driving and ran a red light. 

“Y/N?” Buck called, running to the driver side door. “Buck, you’re too close to this.” Bobby stopped him. “We’re all too close to this, Bobby.” Buck rebutted. Bobby looked at Athena and gestured for her to keep Buck away from the scene. “Keep him away from her.” He instructed his. wife. 

Eddie began trying to get the door off and Hen and Chimney noticed you were still conscious, struggling to get out and stay awake. 

“Y/N, can you hear me?” Hen asked. “Yeah. I-I can hear you.” You stammered. “I have a piece of shrapnel between the third and fourth intercostal space. Mild to severe concussion and around three broken ribs, and a possible pulmonary contusion.” You told them. 

Both EMTs were surprised that you could still diagnose and recognize your symptoms while having a concussion and actively bleeding. 

Once the door was off the car, Hen and Chimney set down the backboard and Eddie began cutting your seatbelt. 

“Where’s Buck?” You asked him. “Bobby won’t let him help. He’s too close to this one.” Eddie answered. “Aren’t you all though?” You joked. Eddie laughed dryly as the seatbelt was cut free. “Can you move?” He asked. 

You looked down at the piece of metal from the seat and back up at him. “You have to pull it out.” You told him. “Y/N,” Eddie started. “Eddie, you have to pull it out or I won’t be able to move. I have a concussion, I’m already bleeding and in about five minutes I’m going to pass out. I will slowly bleed out from the inside if I don’t move. Pull the damn thing out.” You snapped. 

Eddie looked at you for a moment before glancing over at Buck, arguing with Athena. As Eddie pulled the piece of metal out of your side, Buck broke free of Athena’s grasp and fell to his friend’s side. 

“Y/N, baby, are you okay?” He asked frantically. “I’m going to pass out in a couple of seconds so I’m sorry, Buck. For what happened last night.” You spoke, your breathing becoming shallower. “Buck we gotta move her.” Eddie told him. 

Your eyes fell closed slowly and the heart rate monitor attached to you started beeping rapidly. “We gotta get her out now.” Hen instructed. Bobby pulled Buck back as he watched in horror while his friends began giving you CPR once they pulled you from the car.

Your heart beat thankfully went back to normal and Chimney and Hen loaded you into the back of the ambulance. 

Buck took the liberty of joining you considering he was your emergency contact, having no other family in LA.

Once the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Buck, Chimney and Hen were forced to stay at the ER bay, not being allowed to go with you. 

Buck watched as the doctors took you away and this quickly became his worst nightmare. What if you didn’t make it? What if the last conversation you had was a fight? 

Bobby’s hand rested on Buck’s shoulder as they all watched you disappear down the hallway. 

__

It had been hours. Hours of the 118 sitting in the waiting room for you to come out of surgery. Buck was a nervous wreck and no amount of consoling from Maddie or Eddie made it any better. He knew she should have told you about meeting with Abby but he was afraid of ruining everything. But not telling you made it ten times worse. 

“Evan Buckley?” A doctor called, alerting the entire crew. “Th-That’s me. I’m Evan Buckley.” Buck replied. “Y/N is going to be okay. We repaired the damage to her lung as well as the other internal damage she received from the car crash. She still had a major concussion and she’ll be out of commission for a while, but she got incredibly lucky.” The doctor explained. 

Buck let out a very visible sigh of relief, as did everyone else. “Can I see her?” Buck asked. “She’s in the ICU so only a couple of people at a time.” The doctor said. “You go, Buck. We’ll see her when she’s moved to a normal room.” Bobby told him. 

He nodded his head and followed the doctor to your room. He saw you lying in the hospital bed, multiple IVs in your hands and arms and an oxygen tube in your nose. 

Your eyes were still closed but he could tell you were awake, though hearing the doctor’s voice alerted you. 

“Y/N, someone’s here to see you.” You turned your head slightly and saw Buck standing in the doorway. “Hi.” You said quietly, your voice still hoarse from the breathing tube in surgery. 

Buck sat in the chair next to you, his eyes red and watering. “I am so sorry, Y/N,” He whispered. “I should have told you about Abby but I met with her to get closure. And to thank her because if she wouldn’t have left me, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.” He added. 

“It’s okay. I should have let you explained.” You replied. “I have something else to tell you.” Buck said. “Oh no, now what?” You joked. “I bought a ring.” He said. “Like, a ring ring?” You questioned. “Yes, a ring ring.” Buck laughed. “Where is it?” You asked.

Buck let go of your hand for a moment and fished the piece of jewelry out of his pocket.

“You have to put it on for me.” You said. Buck looked at you in disbelief as he smiled, sliding the ring on your left finger. “I’m assuming that’s a yes.” He said. “Of course it is. I’d be stupid to say no to you.” You told him with a smile.

Buck squeezed your hand gently as he looked at the ring on your finger. “I never want to come that close to losing you ever again.” He muttered. “You won’t. I don’t plan on leaving you for a long time.” You said. “Good. Because I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” Buck said. 

He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your forehead as you looked down at the ring. “You did a good job.” You commented. Buck laughed at your comment, causing a smile to grace your face. “Hen and Maddie helped.” He said. “I figured as much.” You replied. 

The rest of the evening, or whatever time of day you thought it was, Buck stayed by your side. Even when the doctors were running their tests and looking over your condition. After almost losing you, there was no way you were going to get rid of Buck even for a moment. 

#imagine #imagines #911 imagine #911 fox #911 lone star #evan buckley #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley oneshot #oliver stark

[fcntasmas-archive]

I know we're well into season 5 and there's been so many more things to go crazy over but do you ever think about 3x18 Eddie and absolutely lose it? (I know I do) I mean the way we've never seen Eddie lose his cool on a call like he did in this episode?? And snapping, the storming away, the anger stemming from fear for Buck, the absolute disgust on his face and in his tone when he says Abby's name??? I just...yeah... I'd like to see it again.

okay but the way i had to stop and think about this because - you're right?? i think the only other time we've seen him snap like that was when he was being held at gunpoint and he yelled "shut up"? i mean, okay, just compare his face in these two moments???

"buck, stop" -> "i want you to shut up", except one moment he's angry because buck's putting his ex-girlfriend's fiance's safety over his own and the other moment he's literally being held at gunpoint and i know that has to mean something that HAS to mean something, right?? that he'll snap in both of these situations, except one is considerably more dangerous than the other??? one isn't about his safety at all??? someone better with this meta stuff should give this a go because currently my brain is just stuck at "BUCK IS AN EXTENSION OF HIM" and i'm actually having a meltdown about this???

#answered #crown-on-your-head #i'm spiraling actually thank u

[intricacies-of-fate]

I think when analyzing an episodic story like 911 it's important to ask ourselves how do the choices the writers make progress the story? what purpose does this scene or storyline serve?

In this case, the questions are: why was it important that Eddie met Abby? why does the audience need to see Eddie's reaction to Abby and to Buck risking his life for her fiancé?

In these scenes Eddie and Sam (Abby's fiancé) play a similar role, they are the person Buck and Abby have moved on with and there are a couple of parallels to both characters (we know Sam is a single dad and Abby has a really good relationship with his children just like Buck with Christopher).

When Buck sees Abby and calls out her name and Abby says his name in return we immediately get Eddie's reaction. When they're taking Sam to the ambulance and Abby says Buck's name, again the first reaction we get is Sam's. What goes unsaid in Eddie's reaction is vocalized in Sam's "you're Buck?" (you're Abby?).

we also get similar techniques used in both scenes, with Eddie's reaction we have Abby still in the frame but out of focus and with Sam's reaction the focus changes from her to him, keeping her in the frame but, again, out of focus.

and now let's talk about framing.

When Buck first sees Abby, instead of having the focus solely on her with a single shot, we get a two-shot of Eddie and Abby. The purpose of this could be to place both characters in the same category of love interests to the audience, the ex and the future partner. Buck looks at both before snapping out of it and asking Abby what she's doing there, almost like he's being confronted with that same feeling too.

As Abby and her fiancé enter the ambulance, Eddie is back in the frame next to Buck, both couples facing each other as the door closes on Abby and Buck. We cut to Eddie and Buck and a final exchange between them setting up a question we likely already have the answer to "what's next?".

#this is half meta half technical analysis #buddie #buddie meta #911 fox

[datleggy]

Jealous

Eddie nearly bumps into what is probably the tallest man he’s ever come across--taller than Buck, even, by at least five inches--as he rounds a corner without looking. “Oh, sorry man,” Eddie looks up. “You a new recruit?” he hadn’t heard of anyone new getting hired recently. 

The guy shakes his head and holds out a brown paper bag. “Just here to drop off lunch, kinda got turned around.” he smiles crookedly. “You wouldn’t happen to know a B--” 

“Hey!” From up above on the second floor, Buck waves giddily at the stranger. He takes the stairs two at a time, reaching him with a smile of his own. “Wes, what are you doing here?” 

Again, the man holds up the sacked lunch. “I go through all the trouble of making you lunch this morning, only for you to forget it on top of my counter? If I didn’t already know you love my cooking so much I’d be insulted, Buck.” 

“Oops, knew I was forgetting something this morning--but hey, you can’t blame me, this is like the first time you’ve made me lunch.” Buck takes a hold of the bag, and it’s only then that Eddie sees the little drawn on hearts. Huh. 

Wes grins toothily. “Well it’s the first time you’ve slept over,” he shrugs. “Thought I’d spice things up.” He leans in so that their foreheads are touching, right before giving Buck a very chaste but somehow simultaneously oh so intimate little kiss on the lips. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you later tonight?” 

Buck nods, their heads still too close together, his smile dazed, cheeks red. “For sure.” 

Wes waves a goodbye on his way out and Buck waves back dopily, only snapping out of it when Eddie snaps his fingers in front of his face. “Hey, who the heck was that?” 

Buck blinks, as if only now noticing Eddie had been in the vicinity the entire time. “Oh, sorry I didn’t introduce you guys; that’s Wes. We uh, we started dating a few weeks ago, actually.” 

Eddie stares at him in disbelief. “And when were you planning on telling me?” Aren’t they best friends? He told Buck all about Ana, after all. 

Buck shrugs, a bit self consciously. “Honestly? I wasn’t really sure about what I was doing--umm, Josh introduced us like a month ago, at this get together, and I don’t know, we just clicked? I guess I was just trying to figure that part of myself out first, before telling you guys? This uh, this doesn’t hafta change anything right? We’re good?” 

“God Buck, yeah, of course we’re good--is that what you were worried about?” Eddie would accept Buck no matter what. Surely he knows that. “Buck, you’re my best friend, I love you,” he puts both hands on his shoulders and squeezes tightly. “I’m happy for you.” Eddie pulls Buck into a hug and he can feel Buck release a long breath. Relief. 

“Thanks Eddie.” Buck smiles a soft smile and Eddie gulps at the way it makes something in his stomach flip. 

Eddie nods. “So,” he forces a grin and waggles his eyebrows. “You spent the night, huh?” 

Buck rolls his eyes, even as his face grows red. “Shut up, I don’t kiss and tell.” 

Eddie bumps his shoulder as they walk side by side, “Oh? That’s new.” he teases. 

Buck shrugs, “I really like Wes,” he admits, “I haven’t felt like this for anyone in a while. Not since Abby, really.” 

Eddie really is happy for Buck, there’s no disputing this; so why is that being overshadowed by what he can only describe as that green little monster named envy? 

#buddie #ficlet #writing #i want buck to discover that he's bi af and eddie to be JEALOUS #thats all i want in life #is that too much to ask? #ion think so #911 fox #long post is long

[ktinastrikesback]

Re: your meta this morning about that moment in Jinx (I'll forgive you posting something that isn't the mother figures meta just this once 😜) you unburdened some thoughts in me. Fair warning my tin hat is ON.

Jinx is such a........weird episode? Like, it's all humor haha and the firefam being dumb, but it's also the first major episode of Eddie's mini arc this season (which I hope will extend into a much larger one next season). Im always trying to separate what their script says and what their script means, and this one is a trip.

I'm talking about Buck-Eddie-Ana. When I rewatched the episode, the dialogue struck me like, "two people (Buck and Eddie) who are tentatively navigating the landscape of their shifting relationship, succumb to missed signals due to an outside force (Ana)." He meets Ana and i guess he's smitten??? Although it could just be Eddie's typical level of charming niceties. He tells Buck about Ana, looking uncertain and like he's gauging Buck's reaction. The only thing Buck responds with is "Christopher's pretty English teacher" which also....was normal ig but still felt weird to me. And then we never get the end of that conversation. We never hear Buck's thoughts about Eddie dating Ana. What!?

And back at the station, Eddie and Buck seem like their engaging in some sort of wordless game of chicken with that love languages fiasco, until Eddie has to cave and tell the team about Ana. And once again, we never hear Buck's thoughts about Eddie dating Ana. Buck, who arguably holds the most important opinion for Eddie, neither affirms nor denies.

And then! At the end! When Eddie leaves to meet Ana! And the camera shows us Buck's face....and he's confused! The implication here being Eddie did not consult with Buck about this date. He did not tell him period. Which begs the question: why? They share everything. They're best friends. I would have grilled my bff if I was in Eddie's shoes.

It's just so WEIRD. It felt like Buck and Eddie were trying to clock each other the entire episode and either just could not get on the same page or missed the point entirely. I wouldn't be so upset about it if this pattern of Buck and Eddie pointedly not talking to each other about these complex and important moments in their lives didn't carry on throughout the rest of the season. Anyway. I am so sorry this got so long. I had to come out of hiding at Tim's house to comment bc I love this.

Hi friend, so glad you forgive me 😂 You are onto something here…I know you’re thinking about Jinx, but now I’m wondering…when was the last time we saw Buck and Eddie converse onscreen about their romantic partners or love life in general?

I can only really recall their talk about Shannon and how sex complicates things in season 2. Of course in Fools, Buck teases Eddie about snapping at Ana so it’s implied that they talked about her/the situation, and in Jinx he recognizes the name, but we never saw them really talk about Abby or Shannon or Ali (and now Taylor and Ana). Of course, in season 3 it was important that they were both single and working through some things, so love interests weren’t there, and they can’t be discussed if they aren’t there, but…we didn’t even see conversations about previous relationships.

It’s just an interesting contrast to Hen and Chim, Hen and Athena, Bobby and Michael, Buck and Bobby, etc etc. Of course, they are best friends and they discuss important things having to do with the job and with Chris and with their mental health, but they seem to be the only friend pairing that doesn’t spend a lot of time discussing their love lives. Obviously they talk about it off screen sometimes, but..why do we never see it?

You’ve given me much to think about as always @kitkatpancakestack thanks for leaving your post at Tim’s house to come and visit with me!

#kitkatpancakestack is the best #911onfox #buddie #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #so many interesting dynamics to consider here #much to think about

[buckleyydiaz]

what he deserves

Ship: Buck/Eddie

Summary: It had to be done - someone had to do it, to make sure Buck got the best in life, what he truly wanted. As the old adage says, “if you love someone, let them go.” Eddie could only hope it paid off in the end, because it really wasn’t feeling as though it would.

Words: 2.4k

Eddie didn’t want to be angry at Buck - it felt wrong, went against every fibre of his being, to feel so pissed off with Buck, of all people, his best friend, his partner, the most selfless man he knew, who would never do anything with the intent of hurting anyone else.

But anger was easy. Anger was familiar, being consumed by a burning rage was comfortable, easy, no matter how much he didn’t like it - no matter how much it scared Eddie, because it was too easy - and he couldn’t afford to fall back into old habits.

What Eddie was certain of, however, was that he would rather be pissed off at Buck, he would rather risk going back to what he swore to himself, to Buck, that he would never do again, than move beyond the anger. Because he didn’t know what would lie beyond it, but he was sure it would be a hell of a lot more frightening than all of the possibilities which anger provided him with.

He knew if he hadn’t stopped attending therapy as soon as it had stopped being mandated for him, that his therapist would have most likely told him that he had to move past anger, that he had to acknowledge what he really felt, but that was bullshit. Therapy had never really been Eddie’s thing, anyways.

So Eddie would sit and let his anger stew for a while, letting it simmer inside, burning him up from the insides - he deserved it anyway, he thought, as he tried desperately to make excuses to his own mind as to why it was right for him to do what he so clearly knew to be wrong.

He deserved to hurt himself by letting the anger build, he decided, because he simply managed to miss that something was so significantly wrong with Buck, that he wasn’t - wouldn’t be - happy in their relationship. Eddie had never wanted to do anything but protect and love Buck, but he had done nothing but fail at that, evidently.

It was all just made worse by the fact that Buck didn’t say anything, that he never had. He had never mentioned that he wanted more, that just Christopher and Eddie couldn’t be enough for him.

Instead, Eddie found out because he simply happened to walk past at just the right - or as it felt, wrong - time.

“I’ve always wanted a kid of my own.”

That was all it took. Eddie didn’t even know what on Earth Buck had been talking about with Chim for that to come up, but it had, and that was all that mattered.

Eddie would bend over backwards for Buck, he would do almost anything he could to make things as good as they could be for him, because he deserved it, but of course, the one thing that Buck wanted, was the one thing that Eddie was unable to provide.

A child. Of his own.

Eddie had always known that Buck loved children - he had made that clear from very early on in their friendship, and the way he was with Christopher was proof. Buck had proven that he would walk through hell and back for him, and Eddie knew that Buck was his son’s absolute favourite person in the world. He had always figured that would be enough for Buck, had always hoped it would be, because Eddie couldn’t give Buck a child of his own, nor was he sure if he was in a position in his life to have another child, if it were even a distant possibility.

As he thought about it, the anger began to dissipate, much to Eddie’s disappointment, because he knew what was coming.

Waves of sadness began to wash over him, and as they crashed and crashed, it felt like he was drowning. He preferred the violent, scorching pain of rage, to this dull, aching feeling that left him desperately gasping for breath, for a tiny bit of happiness, that was nowhere to be found.

Eddie hated to wallow in self-pity, but it was better to sit alone and sulk than to force anyone else to deal with his chaos, his broken heart.

Because he knew, no matter how much he wished he could, that he would do whatever it took to make Buck happy.

The strange selflessness was proof of Buck’s impact, proof of all of the ways he had changed Eddie for the better. And now Eddie had to do just one thing, one tiny thing, for the betterment of Buck’s life.

He had to let go, no matter how much it hurt, or how much he hated doing it. Buck would never do it for himself, not even if it was holding him back from happiness.

--

Eddie wasn’t sure which had been harder - breaking up with Buck, watching his crestfallen expression, which did nothing to make Eddie feel better about breaking his own heart on some Buck-esque self-sacrificial attempt at doing the right thing, or telling Christopher that Dad and Buck weren’t dating anymore, that Buck wouldn’t spend almost every night with them anymore. Both just made Eddie wish he could have stayed oblivious, that it then wouldn’t have been him that was the bad guy who had to do the breaking up - which, he had realised, would probably lead to him being alienated at work (they had all always liked Buck more than him, not that he could fault them for that, he felt the same way, but it meant that there would be hell to pay for hurting him, even though it was for Buck) - and who had to break the news to his son.

But it had to be done - someone had to do it, to make sure Buck got the best of life, what he truly wanted. As the old adage says, “if you love someone, let them go.” Eddie could only hope it paid off in the end, because it really wasn’t feeling as though it would.

--

When Eddie turned up to the 118 for his next shift, it was clear everyone knew what had happened. Buck had told Maddie, who had told Chim, and before long, the entire firehouse knew exactly what Eddie had done.

Eddie Diaz had been just the next in line to break Buck’s heart, just as Abby had before him, which he had sworn to never do. He was certain he was angrier at himself for doing so than anyone else, but he also knew it was for the best. It was for Buck. It had to be.

But all of the excuses he had for his actions within his head meant nothing to the others, who refused to so much as talk to him in passing, which only felt worse, because their shift was so quiet, and they were stuck there, just them.

While Hen, Chimney, Bobby and Buck sat up in the kitchen, each doing their own thing but sharing the space, Eddie had isolated himself to the gym - it was easier to be on his own of his own volition, and to pretend it wasn’t essentially going to be forced upon him.

Eddie tried to lose himself in what he was doing, tried to get each punch to the bag to take him further out of his mind, with little success, although it had rendered him unaware enough of his surroundings that he had not noticed Hen walking up behind him for far too long, not until she cleared her throat to get his attention.

He kept his back turned to her, not particularly keen to be chewed out for breaking up with Buck, for hurting him, when Buck was hardly the most hurt in the situation.

“Eddie, what happened?” She asked, as Eddie continued to try and tune her out. “You were both so happy.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at Hen’s words, because that’s what he had thought too, but he kept his focus firmly on the punching bag in front of him.

“Clearly not,” he muttered, not even sure that Hen would hear him, but she did, and reached out to touch his shoulder, causing him to turn around.

“Look, I can’t deal with you berating me for upsetting poor little Buck right now, okay, and I don’t think it’s really even your place to get involved.”

Eddie felt a little bad for snapping at her, but at the same time, he didn’t have the capacity to deal with the consequences of actions he hadn’t even wanted to take - not yet.

Hen, however, was clearly unbothered, used to dealing with people far ruder than Eddie, on what could be as often as a daily basis, in their job.

“Hey, I haven’t come here for Buck. I wanted to make sure you are okay, this can’t have been easy on you, and I hope you don’t think we are all against you.”

That made Eddie feel the slightest bit better, to have someone who wasn’t against him, when even he himself was conflicted on it, but it left him unsure as to what to say, because he wasn’t okay, but any attempt at a lie, Hen would almost immediately see right through him. He had to try anyway.

“I’m fine Hen, it's fine.”

As he predicted, Hen immediately gave him a look along the lines of are you fucking kidding me, not taking his bullshit for one moment.

“No its not, Eddie, and if you don’t want to talk about it with me, fine, but for the love of God, please talk to someone, okay?” After a moment where neither spoke, she began walking away, but briefly turned around - “You are as much our family as Buck is. It’s not that we don’t care about you, or blame you, it’s just much harder to tell when something is wrong than with Buck.”

Any other time he would have rolled his eyes at what she was saying, but to be honest, he appreciated the reassurance, because when they were all ignoring him, but were so concerned about Buck, it stung, just a bit, even if he deserved it.

“He wants a kid.”

Hen faced Eddie again, furrowing her eyebrows as she tried to work out what Eddie meant - Buck had always been so happy with Eddie and with Christopher.

“I heard him say it to Chimney. He wants a kid, one of his own.”

Eddie looked up from his hands, which he had been fiddling with as he spoke softly, to see Hen looking at him pityingly, but also to see Chim walking towards them, seemingly summoned by his name.

“Aw, Eddie, are you sure he meant that? Maybe it was out of context? Because you know that Buck loves Christopher like his own.”

“Well clearly that wasn’t enough for him!” He exclaimed, anger flooding through his veins as he tried to rein it back in - it wasn’t Hen’s fault that he hadn’t been enough for Buck, the same way he hadn’t been enough for Shannon. “So it’s done now. He can go off and find some woman and have a kid of his own. It’d be unfair of me to hold him back from that.”

Chim must have been close enough to hear what Eddie was saying, as a look of realisation, mixed with the same pity on Hen’s, painted his face.

“That’s not what he was saying, you know? Buck is so in love with you, and Christopher is his entire world. You are both everything that he has ever wanted.”

Eddie looked at Chim curiously, confused, because Chim had been a part of the initial conversation, and what he was saying seemed so far the opposite of what he had heard.

“Buck has always wanted a kid of his own, and he has one now, thanks to you - or he did.”

Eddie wondered if Hen and Chim could tell that the only thing he could think was oh shit. He had just ruined the best relationship he had ever been in over a misunderstanding.

“Go get him back, Eddie,” Hen said, smiling, and Eddie knew he had to do just that.

He made his way up the stairs to the kitchen area, trying to work out how on Earth he could grovel enough to make up for what he did. Eddie found Buck sat alone, Bobby having returned to his office.

“Buck, I- uh, I need to apologise,” Eddie began, looking at Buck, his eyes red and puffy, which just tugged on his heartstrings to see, knowing he was the cause.

Buck wouldn’t even look up at him.

“I, uh, heard you talking to Chim.”

Eddie watched as Buck looked up, horror all over his face.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep Eddie, I know Christopher is just your son and always will be, I just… love you both.”

Buck’s apology confused Eddie for a moment, because none of this was remotely his fault, Buck hadn’t said anything wrong - what part of the conversation was he even referring to? - but was he surprised by the show of Buck’s self-flagellating nature? Not particularly - Buck never had mastered being nice to himself.

“Overstep? You are my best friend, we are family! You could never! I thought you didn’t want us anymore.”

It was Buck’s turn to look confused, his head tilted to the side as he looked up towards Eddie.

“Why would you think that?”

“You said that you wanted a kid of your own, and I can’t give that to you!”

Buck’s eyes widened as Eddie spoke, eventually a slight smile appearing as he realised what had happened.

“And you didn’t listen past that? Eddie, you should know that you and Chris are all I need, or want.”

Begrudgingly, Eddie smiled slightly too.

“Yeah I should have, shouldn’t I?”

Buck stood up and made his way to where Eddie was standing, pulling him tight.

“I’m so glad I didn’t lose you,” Buck murmured, speaking softly into Eddie’s shoulder, his eyes welling up slightly with relief and joy.

“I love you, Buck.”

Eddie smiled as he said that, but before Buck was able to say it back, the bell began to ring out through the station, causing them to pull apart, rolling their eyes.

As they raced down the stairs to meet with the rest of the team, they were greeted with a grateful chorus of cheers from their friends.

They grinned, and Buck lent over to kiss Eddie on his cheek.

“Yeah, yeah, we know, you’re back together, but please, do not subject us to your ridiculous PDA. We do not need to see that.”

#911 #911 fox #buddie #buck #eddie diaz #evan buckley #henrietta wilson #howard han #chimney #911 tv #fanfic #buddie fanfiction #fanfiction #911 fanfic

[extasiswings]

A Buddie prompt if the feeling ever strikes: “Among the faithless, faithful only he.” Also everything you write is amazing so please never stop. ❤️

“Buck.”  

The truck stops back in the station and Buck is off like a shot, ignoring the way Eddie calls after him.  It’s been a long shift, and technically still isn’t over, but it might as well be—they’re not expecting to get sent out again in their last few minutes after spending hours cleaning up the train derailment.  Eddie is exhausted down to his very bones, aches in muscles he forgot he even had.  But he’s not worried about himself—he’s worried about Buck.

He swings down off the truck and Hen is leaning against the side of the other, arms crossed, her brow furrowed as she looks off after Buck.

“Did I hear right?” She asks.  “Abby?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit.”

Eddie sighs.  “I’m gonna—”

“Yeah—yeah, you should.  Go after him.”

The thing is, Eddie knew vaguely that Buck had an ex named Abby who left before he started.  He knew that Buck had spent months hanging onto a relationship that everyone but him seemed to understand was already over.  But it’s been nearly two years and Buck’s dated—Eddie hadn’t realized how affected Buck still was until he saw his face earlier in the night, until Buck recklessly risked his life to save her new fiancé.

There’s something fierce and protective inside him that makes him want to snap and snarl and claw on Buck’s behalf.  But as there’s no one to snap at—Abby’s been gone for hours—Eddie will settle for making sure Buck is okay.  So he strips down and heads to the showers.

“Buck.”

The other man is facing the wall, head bowed low under the spray.  He doesn’t react until Eddie says his name again.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah, well, you could have died tonight,” Eddie shoots back.  “So, we’re going to.”

Buck lifts his head and glares.  “I knew what I was doing, Eddie.  Just because you and Bobby decided to treat me like a child doesn’t mean I am one—”

“Yeah, and I’m not an idiot.  I know what a suicide mission looks like.  So maybe let’s be honest with each other, okay?”

That was why he walked away before, let Bobby take over.  Because he had been afraid of what he might say, what might slip out in the heat of the moment with tensions running high.  He had been half-tempted to grab Buck by his shoulders and step in close—

Don’t you understand?  Don’t you know that we care about you?  That we need you? That I—

Buck deflates, his mask of set jaw and sparking eyes cracking, slipping away to reveal the devastation underneath.  

“I wasn’t trying to—” Buck swipes at his eyes, rubs a hand over his face.  “It really wasn’t like that, I swear, I was…almost positive I could do it.  That I could save him.  And I did—I did, dammit, I—”

Eddie doesn’t hesitate.  He steps under the spray with Buck, pulling him into his arms.  For half a moment, Buck resists the pull, but then he shudders and drops his head to Eddie’s shoulder.

“I saved him,” Buck repeats, muffled and wet against Eddie’s skin.  Eddie bites his lip and closes his eyes, tightening his arms.

“I know.  I know you did.”

“I gave her everything.  I did everything right.  Even tonight, after all this time, seeing her again was just—I’m not still in love with her, but it didn’t matter, I still wanted—and it still wasn’t enough.  I wasn’t.”

Eddie’s stomach drops, his throat getting tight.  He pulls back, sliding one hand around Buck’s neck to look him in the eye.  

“Hey.  Listen to me.”  Buck’s eyes are red, but he looks up.  Eddie swallows.  

“You are enough,” he says.  “You are more than enough.  God, Buck—everything you’ve done for me, for Christopher, for this team, and yeah, hell, everything you did for her tonight—it’s incredible.  And it means more than I could ever—you’re enough.  I see that.  I see you.  If she couldn’t, that just means she didn’t deserve you.”

Buck exhales shakily, his eyes closing.  He’s quiet for a long moment.

“Everyone always leaves,” he admits, eyes still closed.  “My whole life, nobody—nobody ever stays.”

“I’ll stay,” Eddie promises.  Buck makes a hurt sound, but still doesn’t open his eyes.  Eddie’s thumb gently strokes the side of his neck.

“I’ll stay,” he repeats.  “Let me prove it.”

“Eddie…”

Eddie sways closer, presses his forehead against Buck’s.  

“Let me.  Please.”

Let me be good for you, too.  

Buck shudders again, but then his hand is sliding around the back of Eddie’s neck and his mouth is on his and Eddie—

—feels like he’s come home.  

#chapel writes #coping with coronavirus prompt fills #buddie #prompt fill #maybe i'm having some Feelings #agentlemuse

[mirismuffins-ovo]

Plant Palace pt 8🌿

John felt guilty,he hadn’t expected Eddie to accept him back so easily but it still hurt to feel rejected. John had gone back to his car. It was a colder night but he sleeplessly stayed there for the night. Missing his kids and filled with sadness,what would he tell his kids if he came back and said Eddie didn’t want anything to do for John. He’d felt lonely for such a long time and feared losing the one person he wanted to be with most.

He stayed there for the rest of the night,ignoring his hungry stomach begging for food. John normally went hungry for the sake of the kids when they handed out rations for the camps and he’d gotten into the habit of eating less. His clothes hid that fact for the most part,he had examined Eddie's house,it was nice. Eddie had done well for himself,and he didn’t blame Eddie for being mad at John,he’d ran off after promising they’d have a family together and raise the babies together. Sleeplessly lying in the driver's seat with it reclined thinking about everything.

Eddie groaned as he woke up. Leafy and Bitty were pawing at his legs as he realized where he was. He never left the front entry way and didn’t think about the cats.

“Shit.” He groaned.

He got up, going to feed the cats when Bitty looked up at him and meowed before rubbing up against his leg. Then it all dawned on him.

“SHIT, JOHN!”

He fled his apartment, running outside, seeing maybe the man fell asleep at his apartment complex entry way. He didn’t care if it was early in the morning, He fucked up. He had promised himself over the years that it didn’t matter what happened to John. He wasn’t human so he had to do what the man had to do, and Eddie accepted that when they were dating. Just his own jealousy got in the way. He ran in the opposite direction he walked home in the night before, shouting for John’s name. He didn’t even look in any of the parked cars on the side of the street or alleyways. All he wanted to do was find his old lover and hold him in his arms again and apologize for being a complete dick.

John looked over with restless eyes from his small car seeing Eddie running around seeming to look like he was distressed.He wondered would Eddie really be better off,as he listened to him call his name. It seemed like it from what he said last night but he got out of the car,his eyes burned from crying the whole night but also no sleep. He shut the car door loud enough to let Eddie know to look over. John couldn’t bring himself to look at Eddie.

John leaned on his car,watching the man somberly,hearing the rapid steps from Eddie darting around in frantic search. He’d figured Eddie would be better with someone more normal...after all he said maybe it was better that people like them shouldn’t be together. John had spent all night trying to decide whether he should’ve turned the car around and driven back to camp. He hoped he didn’t choose wrong.

As soon as Eddie heard the car door close, he whipped around seeing the smaller distressed frame of the familiar man. Eddie took off full he speed,as fast as his older body could before flung himself at John, embracing him and swinging him around.

“Thank God you didn’t leave!” Eddie exclaimed in pure joy as he set John down from the spin.

John looked up confused but also trying to hide a blush on his cheeks.

“I know we have a lot to work out, but I am so so sorry for being an ass last night. I had a shitty band practice and so I went to get a few drinks and this one girl kept hitting on me at the bar and then I heard your song on the bus home and I…” Eddie paused himself,pulling the red head in for a hug again. “I’ve missed you so so much..I feel like I’m in Heaven right now seeing you again..” he muttered in a loving tone. Placing a gentle hand on the back of Johns head still holding him.

Eddie was crying tears of joy again. John was alive, John was safe, John was here.

John had frozen shocked by the sudden action,he didn’t know what to say. He felt happier than ever and relieved but still filled with confusion, “I’m sorry..I don’t know what I should say” he muttered in a dry voice,batting his eyes a few times while streams of tears ran down his face. Now in the arms of Eddie tightly burying his face into Eddie's upper shoulder. John's stomach said something for him with a loud growl. He blushed embarrassed and pulled away from the hug to look up at Eddie.

“I missed you Eddie...I should've tried to take you with me” John's pale frail hand wiped a tear falling,from his cheek as he let out a soft shaky breath. His stomach letting out another growl craving food once again.

Eddie just ignored the words for the time being and broke them apart for a quick moment before smooshing their lips together in a super long, 2 year delayed, kiss. It felt good to finally connect this intimately with the person he loved dearly. Suffocating one another in affection,but another growl from John’s stomach snapped them out of it,Eddie snickered as John blushed with embarrassment.

“Come back to my place, I’ll cook something. Plus I’m sure there is someone who’d love to see you right now.” Grabbing John’s hand, Eddie started to drag him in the direction of his house.

When they were reaching his apartment, he forgot to close his door and was afraid the cats got out. He quickly approached the door and looked inside, calling to his two kitty companions. He left John at the door to see if he could still find them.

“Spspspsp” He sounded out and waited. The singer walked in looking around to see Bitty pinning Leafy down who was struggling to move as he wanted to go out the door. “Good kitty! Keeping Leafy inside!” He cooed, getting them treats. “Daddy’s sorry he left in a hurry, I’ll give you extra kibble.” Both cats heard food and started to pour more into their dishes.

“You can come in now.” Eddie called, hearing the footsteps enter his home and close his front door.

Bitty lifted her head up in wonder to see who came inside her home when the kitty smelled an old but familiar smell. “Murrrrp? Merrrrp!” She ditched her food dish and ended up rubbing herself on her old cat dad. She meowed and purred vigorously when John picked her up and started laughing.

“Awww my lil Bits” He held her like a baby and gave her head small kisses “I missed you so much my lil one” he laughed softly and set her down purring loudly as she pranced over to the food bowl “I missed her,Thankyou for taking care of her Eds”

John tiredly sat down on a chair relaxing a bit as Eddie started to cook up breakfast,he looked like he was ready to fall asleep then and there. John was exhausted from his worrying, “your house is really nice,I also like the new cat” he smiled at Eddie from across the table. He fidgeted with his red hair “the girls wanna meet you Eddie..and I can’t stop thinking about it” Johns eyes were closed now,smiling at the thought of his sweet kids “my moms taking care of them right now”

Eddie smiled. “I would love to see them too John…” He got out a couple of plates. “But we need to work out what’s between us. We need to make sure it's really safe for Humans and Abbies to live together and be allowed to love each other. Things have been trying to change for the better between our species, but there’s always that loophole that continues to set everyone back.”

He dished up the food and handed one plate to John who carefully begin to take small bites to ease the food into his stomach. Eddie ate like normal, scratching Leafy’s ear when the kitty decided to beg for his food.

“No, Leaf, go eat your kibble.”

Eddie turned his attention back to John. “So… How have you been, like really been?”

John thought about the question pausing his meal,he normally tried to not think about how he was feeling. “I-...I’m tired,it’s been a rough few years raising the kids...and helping my mom with the rebellion,getting captured then breaking out of a facility.I really lucked out they didn’t find I could have kids,...we aren’t seen as humans in facilities” John gave an awkward laugh attempting to hide his grim recount,before he shoved another bite into his mouth chewing slowly. “It’s been...lonely” John had gotten sick during one of the harsher winters after he had the girls. He let out a deep breath rubbing his burning eyes. “It was actually my mom and the girls who said I should try to come back to see you…I mean I was planning to anyways, but I just wasn’t sure if my mom could watch the kids that long. Or if you’d want to even see me.” John ran his fingers through his petal filled hair,it all stressed him out. “Anyways how've you been…” John didn’t wanna tell Eddie that he longed to continue the dream of having a family with him,getting married and actually carrying the children of Eddie. He knew it would be too much to say,it’d been so long after all. He didn’t wanna rush things too fast and lose him again.

“I’ve been better.” Eddie replied. “Just been working on a new EP with the band. After a few concerts, Greenhouse was a success to my surprise. I guess it resonated with a bunch of people. Some people have called it the ‘Barrier Breaker’, saying it’s what's going to bring the people together.” He shrugged. “But who knows.”

He let out another sigh. “So you’ve mentioned you’ve broken out of a facility. But it’s legal for Humans and Abnormals to live together now. Does this mean you’re a fugitive? Does your Mom know you were taken? What about the girls?” He started spilling questions. But then he stopped.

“Sorry. But if you really are on the run, then we have to figure something out so you’re really free.”

“I was a fugitive,this wasn’t the first time I was in a facility. So when we first met I could technically be considered a fugitive,but after this break out and some political negotiations with the governor. My mother and I with a few others were able to make it legal in this state to live in city’s with regular people.” John took a deep breath trying to not overload Eddie with information. “And now a few other progressive states it’s legal,it’s making its way to the presidential office,so hopefully it’ll be countrywide soon” John had an awkward smile for a moment. “we’re working on the details about Abnormals and Regulars getting married and such” He shrugged and sat back in his chair,”Before we were together,a few years back I did some shit as a teenager that got me put in a facility” clearing his throat he continued “it’s why Quinn blew up when I asked about them taking the babies,but now, I’m not a fugitive,I’m ‘legal’ now”

Eddie felt so relieved, like his heart was mending back together.

“We should talk more but you look like you’re about to pass out. Stay for a few days, rest up and eat. I’m still in the middle of the album so I’ll be in my studio most of the day. If you need to leave…” He looked at John with seriousness, giving a warning in his tone of voice. “Tell me. If you run off again, I won’t be as forgiving.”

He got up, went to take a shower real quick then left for the studio. Eddie was elated that John was back, but he couldn’t forgive him just yet. He needed to mend his broken heart and he knew just how to do it. Eddie dried off and got dressed in pajamas,making his way down the hall. John who’d finished eating and seemed to pass out on Eddies couch.

When he walked into his studio, he got set up, texted his band about what’d happened,then began to strum his guitar. He heard only one song ringing through his head now,the song that had been haunting him for years. He closed his eyes, sliding his finger and plucking the first string, beginning to play Eden.

[detectivecarlosreyes]

In Case of Emergency (Ch 9/10)

Ao3 | 2.9/18.5k | Buddie | Status: Incomplete

Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 9: It’s about time  In which Buck and Eddie try to disclose their relationship; if only calls didn’t keep getting in the way. Set in mid-3x18: What’s next.

Things were going well between them. After recovering mentally and physically from Eddie’s ordeal, they were closer than ever, with Buck spending most nights in the Diaz household than he ever was before. He was there for Chris’s first sleepover party, being an incredibly helpful chaperone to a bunch of hyperactive 9-year-olds. He was as much a parent as he was both a form of entertainment for the kids and was a welcome relief to the stresses of parenting such an event.

It was good, practically perfect really, having him home all the time, helping, basically being an integral part of the family. He was rarely in his own apartment anymore, only returning to collect his mail and restock on clothes really.

Buck was effectively living with them full time, his wardrobe slowly but surely integrating into his own and their relationship had progressed to the point that it was near almost impossible for them to keep it to themselves anymore, considering how intertwined their lives had become. So now, in their downtime between calls, nearly every recount of what they did on their time off involved the presence of the other.

They were pretty sure the others were finally catching on. It was hard to miss the side-eyed glances when he mentioned something involving Buck and Chris or when Buck did the same mentioning him and Chris. They were also noticing long considering looks coming from Bobby, especially when they were doing something together alone when at the station, but it was hard to say whether he knew but was waiting for them to come to him or if he just suspected something was going on.

In any case, they knew it was long overdue for them to officially be seen as a couple in the eyes of the team and the universe, except the problem was, anytime they tried to get Bobby alone for a chat or tried to bring it up when there was a dip in conversation, something else became more important.

Their most recent attempt was the closest they had ever gotten, having managed to catch Bobby alone in his office looking at them expectantly behind his desk.

Buck had just managed to utter, “Bobby, there’s something that Eddie and I have been wanting to tell you. We’re in a--”

He was cut off before he could finish the sentence, the call alarm blaring for their attention and distracting them all from the conversation at hand. It resulted in a rushed promise from Bobby that they would finish the chat when they returned after the call.

The call being the train derailment; bringing Eddie face to face with a person that he has only ever heard of.

Abby.

Buck’s ex-girlfriend.

As soon as Buck appeared by his side and said her name Eddie knew exactly who she was. How could he not? Buck had been living in her apartment in the first half of the year of him knowing the man and he remembered how long Buck carried a torch for her. How long he desperately held on to the idea that she was still his girlfriend until he finally let go and moved out of her apartment.

And now here she was, just showing up after all this time; no text, no call, no warning at all that she was coming back into town. Returning with a fiancé no less. He saw the way Buck reacted, how that revelation affected him. And then Buck, his kind-hearted, selfless boyfriend goes and promises her that he’d bring back her fiancé with the heavy implication that he would make sure they brought Sam back alive.

He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why Buck would make that promise, she had ghosted him for months before he had finally given up on the hope that she’d return. It made him nervous because he knew exactly how far Buck would be willing to go for a promise, and that terrified him.

And he was right. Buck wouldn’t listen to reason, so focused on being able to deliver on his promise that he seemed willing to ignore rational thought. He was so hell-bent on trying to save Sam even though there was no feasible way of rescuing him and the girl, that he was willing to put his life on the line. It was maddening and enough to make him snap out of fear and frustration in a last-ditch attempt to make Buck see reason.

“Buck, stop! Alright, I know you made a promise.”

And then for him to see Buck to back-track and fail to divulge pertinent information to Cap as to why he was acting the way he was, well, it set his teeth on edge and it had him spitting out, “Abby! His fiancé is Abby.”

Unable to look at Buck as he continued to blatantly disregard his own safety for a promise he shouldn’t have made, he left Bobby to deal with him, hoping that maybe the Captain would have more sway in talking Buck down from his dangerous plan. But it seemed not even Bobby could talk Buck down, especially when, much to his chagrin, he was offering admittedly sound reasoning.

That didn’t stop him from worrying about the man the whole time he was out there, hanging off the side of this awfully unstable car. It was one thing to be on the inside if it destabilised and falls, it was another thing entirely to be attached to it on the outside with no way to protect one’s self from the fall.

Thankfully, it was a situation that didn’t eventuate, and for that Eddie was enormously relieved because he wasn’t sure his heart could take it if it did. In the end, he was left with Buck watching as the ambulance drove away and could only imagine how Buck was hurting from seeing Abby and Sam together. It was enough to dispel any residual feelings of frustration and anger that he might have felt about the situation.

In fact, the whole situation was enough to put things in perspective for Eddie. Reminding him of how far he and Buck’s relationship has progressed and how much he wanted it to keep progressing and take the next logical step. But first, they were going to have to deal with Bobby who seemed to have remembered their previous meeting, despite the exhausting call, as he muttered to the two of them to join him in his office once they returned back to the station and restocked the trucks.

“Now what was it that the two of you wanted to talk to me about? Don’t tell me it has something to do with the way you were both acting today in that train car,” Opened Bobby when they finally joined him, looking up from his paperwork with a tired sigh.

“Well, it does, and it doesn’t,” Eddie answered vaguely, causing Buck to shoot him a look as he closed the door and took a seat beside him.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Eddie?” asked Buck in a hushed tone, half-turning in his chair.

“Nothing. We can talk about it later,” he muttered back, not wanting to talk about it right this second.

“If this is about Abby, you know I had no idea that she was coming back.” Pressed Buck.

Before he had a chance to respond to Buck and say that yes it was about Abby but not it the way that he thinks, Bobby was clearing his throat, reminding them that he was in the room and waiting for an answer to his initial question.

“Right, sorry Cap. What Buck and I have been wanting to tell you is that we’re in a relationship.”

Bobby looked between them as if he were trying to gauge whether or not he was joking and must have come to a conclusion because his next question was simply, “How long has this been going on for?”

“Over eight months.” Buck jumped in, answering resolutely, “We wanted to be sure before we told anyone.”

“Well, that clears up a few things.” They heard him mutter under his breath as he pulled out a manila folder from his top desk drawer before addressing them again, “I had a feeling this might come up at some point, I’ve been waiting with the paperwork for the last couple of weeks.”

“You knew?”

“Well,” Bobby drew out as he slid across the relationship disclosure form, “I didn’t know for certain, but I have been suspecting that something was going on, so have Hen and Chim, just didn’t realise exactly how long it’s been going on for.”

He waited patiently after handing a pen to them to fill out the form and sign it before sliding it back to him.

“As your friend, I am happy for the two of you but as your boss let me make one thing clear. If your personal relationship starts to affect your work on the job, I won’t hesitate to transfer one of you to one of the other teams in the station. Understood.”

“Yes, sir.”

“We promise to be 100 percent professional at work just like we have been when you didn’t know about us-”

Bobby raises an eyebrow at that, giving them a pointed look.

“- but we will try to do better at controlling our emotions if and when one of us is in a dangerous situation?” Buck tacked on questioningly, assuming that was Bobby’s look was alluding to.

Bobby nodded in approval before adding in good humour, “I should hope so, however, I have a feeling we might have to revisit this conversation sometime in the future.”

Eddie chuckled as he stood up, “That is entirely possible, but we will do our best to avoid it.”

“Good.” Bobby said with a grin as he offered his hand to both of them, grasping each of their arms warmly with his free hand, “I really am happy for you both. Now go, tell the others.”

With a sigh of relief, they left the office feeling somewhat liberated over finally disclosing their relationship. Admittedly, one of the reasons for their hesitation was that they weren’t sure they would be allowed to continue working in the same team and they wanted to prolong the moment for as long as they could, not wanting to be separated. But it seemed they were worried for nothing and now they could bring Hen and Chim into the loop.

Funnily enough, they didn’t have to look far for their friends, finding them not so subtly loitering nearby. Feeling Buck’s fingers thread between his own as they move to greet the other two, Eddie found himself unable to keep the smile from his face, knowing that this was something they could now do freely in front of their friends.

They barely had to say anything, with Hen immediately zeroing in on their joined hands and crowed in delight over their announcement before a group hug was instigated by Chim, celebrating their news, and declaring how overjoyed they were.  

“Can I just say you two are adorable,” Hen remarked when they relocated to the couches, causing him to blush over the comment, knowing that he and Buck had left little room between each other on the couch and had yet to relinquish the other’s hand. “And it’s nice to see that you guys are so comfortable about it after only a couple of months, I honestly thought you’d be more awkward about it.”

“Well,” Buck drew out in a contradictory higher register, “I’d say that’s because it’s been a bit longer than a couple of months.”

“Uhh, how long is ‘a bit longer’?” chimed in Chim, parroting the short phrase back at them.

Eddie looked at Buck who in turn looked at him, and they had a momentary silent conversation based on eyebrow movements and head tilts over who got to break the news. It ended with him sighing and turning back to the waiting pair, knowing what their reaction would be, “Some time since before Halloween last year.”

Their collective response to the admittance had him both wincing and trying to suppress the laughter that was bubbling in his chest over Chim and Hen’s affronted exclamations that they had waited so long to tell them.

“In our defence, we stopped actively trying to keep it a secret at the beginning of the year, we thought you’d figure it out sooner.”

“So, at all the gatherings this year, when you just happened to be dressed similarly and always also came in the same car together with Christopher and seemed to spend your days off together more often than not, that was you being a couple?”

“Yep!” Buck confirmed, popping the p as he relaxed further into the couch cushion and pressed himself more heavily into Eddie’s side.

“Oh my god, that makes so much sense. I can’t believe we didn’t see it.”

They watched as Hen and Chim withdrew into themselves re-evaluating all the moments together and realising what was so blatantly there. It was after a few more drawn-out minutes that Chim startled and stared Buck down.

“Wait, does Maddie know?”

Naturally just as Buck is about to respond, the call alarm sounded sending them all into a flurry to head down to the trucks. Chim however stopped at the bottom of the stairs and repeated his question more loudly. “Buck! Does Maddie know?”

Eddie watched out of the corner of his eye as Buck stopped mid-step and turned back to Chim gesturing for him to hurry up as he does so, “Yes Chim, Maddie was the first to know, now come on, we’ve got to go!”

This jump-started Chim back into action, “Right, yes, of course.”  But that didn’t stop him from muttering that he couldn’t believe she didn’t tell him sooner.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

It’s not until they make it back home, do they revisit the aborted conversation that started in Bobby’s office.

“So Eds,” Buck opened with from the bathroom doorway having just finished brushing his teeth, “it’s later. Want to tell me what you meant in Bobby��s office.”

He sighed, realising that he might have been a bit dramatic about the whole situation as he shucked on his bed shirt, “I didn’t really mean anything by it, honestly.”

“I feel like that sigh said otherwise,” Buck observed as he turned off the bathroom light and flipped back the covers, and slid into bed.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Buck! In that train car, I was just so worried about how far you’d go for that stupid promise. That’s all,” he ended up saying in hushed exasperation, turning on the bedside lamp and moved around the room to turn off the bedroom light before moving to climb into his side of the bed.

Buck wrapped an arm around his shoulder when he did and he let Buck pull him into his side, “I only said that because I was thrown. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in almost 2 years and she came back with a fiancé.”

He huffed at that and pushed his mild annoyance aside, relaxing into Buck’s embrace instead, “Okay, so maybe I was being a bit irrational too. But so were you promising to save him, you know that we’re not supposed to do that.”

“I know. And as much as I know I shouldn’t after the way things ended between us, I do still care about her, I didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t get to be happy.”

He repositioned his head to settle it more closely to Buck’s heart speaking softly, “I get it,” and then after a period of quiet as they listened to each other breathe he suggested, “You should go see her.”

The was a beat of hesitation from Buck, “…you sure?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, I may resent her as your friend and boyfriend for what she did, but this is about you. You deserve to get the closure she owes you.”

There’s a long considering pause as Buck thought it over, long enough that Eddie actually thought he might have fallen asleep, so he shifted across Buck’s warm chest to turn off the lamp and resettle back onto his pillow.

“Eddie?” is spoken softly into the darkness, the sound of a head turning on a pillow.

Rolling back onto his side to face Buck even in the darkness, he places a hand on Buck’s bare chest, “Yeah Buck?”

“I just want you to know how much I love being part of your life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I promise to do everything in my power to keep it that way for as long as you’ll have me.”

Smiling softly at the heartfelt declaration, he uttered immediately in response, “I love being part of your life too Buck and I know how seriously you take your promises." He pressed a kiss to the tip of Buck’s shoulder, "Don't worry, I don’t intend on letting you go anytime soon.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He felt as Buck adjusted his position slightly to drop a kiss to the crown of his head with a contented sigh.

The conversation trailed off after that and he could feel Buck slowly drifting off beneath him. He wasn’t lying, after everything the day had brought and the months leading up to it, Eddie knew one thing for certain; he wanted to take the next natural progression in their relationship and have Buck move in properly, officially. Now he just needed the assistance of one Christopher Diaz to make it happen.

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