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#edes zero edit
edensania · 1 year
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Shiki Granbell
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lazylittledragon · 1 month
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a 2 act tragedy starring me: i’ve been making fruit smoothies in the morning for a few days which has been great because it’s getting me to actually eat fruit for once, only to go on the internet and be told that it apparently releases all the natural sugars so it's actually Not that great for you and i am devastated
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brighteyesredfire · 1 month
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Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water (2014) - Bride from Black Water Yuri Ending
"I'll let the dark current take me, your glance has saved my soul. I leave my last thoughts with you. I'm so glad it was you."
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saltpepperbeard · 1 year
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Better alive than dead.
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mitski · 11 months
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OSHI NO KO (01x07)
A girl with a pretty face. She has a smile like the sun. Her performances are perfect. Her speech and behavior are seemingly all-conquering. Her eyes draw you in by their very nature.
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lizluzz · 2 years
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Ooooh, you know what would be fun? Stede taking one look at Ed's painted face, and in an attempt to be positive and supportive of everything to do with Ed, declaring he just loves the new look, isn't it splendid?
Ed is a bit taken aback, but nothing prepares him to waking up the next day and seeing Stede like this:
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Look, Ed! I think it turned out quite nice, if I do say so myself. I think we should do the crew next, make it a bonding experience, what do you think?
Ed promptly goes back to his room, and the next time he comes out his face is clean. Stede is actually disappointed because he thinks it's about Ed refusing to share this with him. The crew is tremendously relieved they won't have to participate in their captain's ridiculous courting rituals.
(Ed is secretly disappointed too, because he thought it was kinda hot look for Stede, actually, but he'll never ever admit it)
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oatflatwhite · 6 months
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i made some dumb babygirl ed icons <3 free to use if you so desire!
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ambulancenoises · 2 years
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new favourite ship/brotp <3
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jdramastuff · 6 months
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youtube
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battinscnz · 1 year
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youtube
THE BATMAN | Thursday, October 31st.
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jellybeanium124 · 7 months
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I love how like, every major character in ofmd is min-maxed. like they each have 1 or a couple of things they're really fucking good at and then outside of that they are very bad at most things. there's stede and his sky high confidence and willingness to learn vs. his naiveté and ineptitude and -8 self-esteem. ed's great at being a pirate and coming up with clever schemes but as soon as plan A fails he resigns himself to death. frenchie can plot and scheme and code switch but also can't use a hammer. jim has their knives and zero emotional intelligence. izzy has his sword and zero creativity or leadership skills or anything else really. pete can whittle and that's literally it. lucius can read and write and play therapist and it's only because reading and writing were in high demand for stede that he landed a job in the world of piracy. roach... ok roach can cook and sort of be a surgeon which is pretty damn impressive honestly. wee john can sew. buttons is also a bit of an outlier since he's an all-around talented pirate. the swede... bless him but so far he's got nothing. ok like yeah maybe not all of them are perfectly min-maxed but a lot of them are and I love it. cringefail only good at 1 thing loser representation
EDIT: I know the swede can sing I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭 I'm so sorry I forgot your beautiful voice babygirl please you can stop yelling at me about this now I know and I'm sorry 😭
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tboygareth · 8 months
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the anatomy of a home run
written for lex's spicy six summer challenge | rating: E | word count: 5.7k | prompt: baseball | cw: barebacking, virgin eddie munson | READ ON AO3
beta and editing by the incomparable @steves-strapcollection <3
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First Base
The first time they fool around, it’s not so much fooling around as it is an impulsive makeout session wherein Eddie finds himself sat astride Steve’s lap with his hands in his hair. Steve’s hands are fisted in Eddie’s tee shirt and they’re panting into each other’s mouths, sucking on each other’s lips and tongues and swallowing one another’s moans, and Eddie’s cock is straining against his fly so hard it’s a fucking miracle the zipper hasn’t popped. 
Eddie doesn’t know shit about baseball but he’s pretty sure this is first base. Right?
They’re not touching each other, not really, not in a way that matters, but the air between them is hot and sticky, the summer humidity clinging to their skin. Eddie’s hair is plastered to the back of his neck with sweat while Steve’s mouth learns the shape of his throat and his teeth scrape lightly across his Adam’s apple.
If Eddie were to spread his legs a little more, if he were to fully sit down in Steve’s lap, he’d have to live with the knowledge forever that Steve is erect beneath him. For now, he can’t handle that. He can’t cope with the knowing, with his own anxieties that he’s never gone further than this before, that at the rate they’re going he’s eventually going to get to watch Steve come under his hands or his mouth or fuck, maybe on his cock.
“Steve,” he groans, pulling back a little as Steve’s hand creeps beneath the collar of Eddie’s shirt to rest against the notch in his throat. “Fuck, sweetheart, much as I’d love to keep doing this… don’t you have a job to get to? A Robin to pick up?”
Steve’s voice comes out as something between a growl and a purr, his teeth latching onto the bolt of Eddie’s jaw and he murmurs, “When did you become the responsible one?” 
“I’m gonna be so very honest with you, Stevie, I’m mostly just nervous I’m gonna bust in my jeans if we keep going.”
With a mean smile, Steve grips Eddie’s hips and presses them firmly together. The hard line of Steve’s cock drags over Eddie’s and punches a whine from one of them - Eddie, probably - and if they don’t put a stop to this soon the single will turn into a double and then Eddie’ll hit a home fucking run all over this stupid threadbare couch that Wayne managed to save from the old trailer.
Just when Eddie’s ready to stop Steve, to tell him it’s time for them to dial it back and pick this up another time when Steve doesn’t have a clock ticking down to his scheduled shift, Steve pats him on the thigh and starts to push him up. He’s sighing unhappily as he does it, like this is the last thing he wants, too, but responsibilities are starting to outweigh desire and y’know what? Eddie’s pretty fucking proud of their self control, even if he is still hard as a rock in his jeans.
“Come over tonight?” Steve asks as he stands and adjusts his monster of a cock in his own jeans. “We can pick this back up then?”
Eddie wants to ask, What is this? What are we? What does this mean to you?
What he says instead is, “Sure. Gonna show me second base?”
Steve captures his mouth in another hard, wet kiss and murmurs, “Keep talkin’ baseball to me, babe. You’ve got no idea how hot it makes me.”
“Of course it fucking does,” Eddie huffs. “Get to work, slugger, I’ll see you tonight.”
***
Second Base
Eddie realizes he’s not gonna make it past second base tonight the moment Steve gets his hand on his cock. They barely manage to get Eddie’s jeans and boxers down. They’re hanging off of one of Eddie’s legs now and Steve’s got him laid out on the bed, his fingers pressing into the give of Eddie’s thighs, spreading them apart for him to lie between them, while his mouth zeroes in on that spot on his throat that made Eddie keen earlier. 
Steve’s hand is big and firm and warm when his fingers wrap around Eddie’s dick and there are fucking stars dancing behind his eyes, his voice coming out in broken whimpers and he finds himself spreading even further for Steve. He wants to touch him, wants to guide Steve’s cock to his hole and beg to be fucked dry if that what it takes to get him inside.
Eddie’s hands, clumsy and distracted, tug at the fly of Steve’s jeans to draw him out and stroke him -- hopefully, god fucking willing -- at the same rhythm that Steve is stroking him. When he finally manages to shove Steve’s pants down to bunch around his thighs and gets his hand on him -- the skin of his cock smooth and hard beneath his palm -- Steve hisses and nips hard at the skin of Eddie’s neck.
Steve pulls away, just a little, just enough to spit on his fucking hand before getting back to work on Eddie’s cock, and Eddie barks out something that might have been fuck or it might have been Steve’s name but there’s too much ringing in his ears to be sure. Steve is leaking all over him, the sound of his hand stroking through the precome nearly as loud as their panting breaths.
“Faster,” Steve breathes against Eddie’s neck, “give it a twist near the head, baby, yeah fuck that’s it. ”
“Fuck,” Eddie groans. He tosses his head back, the hot breath on his throat making him dizzy and warm.
Steve’s pace is quick and dirty, the pressure relentless as he draws little noises out of Eddie on every upstroke. He digs his thumb into the slit of Eddie’s cock and there’s starbursts in his head with the intensity of it.
“There’s no fuckin’ way you never did this before,” he whines, and Steve’s breath on his throat comes out in a huff of a laugh, followed by a quick lick and kiss to the pulse point there.
“Just on myself,” Steve insists. “ Fuck, Eddie. So hot, you’re so fucking hot. Leaking everywhere for me like this. So wet.”
Eddie tries to tell him, You too, but it comes out garbled, unintelligible nonsense around a broken off cry when Steve tightens his grip and quickens his pace.
“Not -- hah, oh god -- not gonna last, Eds. Your hand -- fuck -- keep thinkin’ about how I’m gonna come all over your hand.”
“ Oh, fuck yeah, Stevie. Fuckin’ paint me with it, sweetheart, shit. ”
Steve’s hips are moving now, thrusting to meet Eddie’s strokes and Eddie’s hyper aware of his own hips doing just the same. The wet tip of Steve’s cockhead brushes up against Eddie’s and leaves a slick trail of precome behind to mix with his own. Eddie’s head is swimming, the heavy feeling in his gut tightening as his release draws closer, closer.
Steve kisses him, their tongues meeting in the scant space between their lips, and it’s so brief Eddie thinks it might not have even really been a kiss at all because then Steve is using his other hand -- the one not currently bringing Eddie’s entire world to its fucking knees -- to push his tee shirt up to rest at the dip in his throat. Steve’s mouth moves to bite at his chest, lick and suck at Eddie’s nipple as they thrust against one another.
Eddie’s free hand fists into the soft silky hair there and holds Steve in place, a silent plea for more attention to that nipple and Steve gets it, draws it into his mouth and adds teeth.
“Oh, fuck, Steve, yeah -- yeah, god, shit, just -- just like that, fuck! ”
“Gonna come?” Steve asks. “Gonna -- Eds, you gonna come with me? Close, baby, so close.”
“Yeah, yeah me too. Just a little more.”
“Can’t wait to fuck you. Can’t wait to get inside you, Eds, make you scream my name.”
“ God. ”
The rhythm of Steve’s hips is beginning to stutter and everything in Eddie’s brain is abandoning ship, rushing to his dick where he’s sure it’s about to spurt out all over Steve, paint him with jizz and brain matter and every ounce of fluid in his fucking body at this point. He’s gonna say something stupid, gonna tell Steve that he fuckin’ loves him or some shit because he’s never been this fucking keyed up before. 
He meets Steve for a kiss again, and it’s wet and sloppy and Steve is swallowing the noises Eddie’s making -- his whimpers and his whines and his desperate moans -- and giving those sounds right back to him in kind.
“Here, here,” Steve whispers, frantic, knocking Eddie’s hand away from his cock so that he can take them both in his massive hand and Eddie sees fucking stars.
Steve’s cock, hot and smooth and weeping at the tip, is dragging along the length of Eddie’s own, the head catching on Eddie’s and smearing their precome together. Steve lets loose this fucking whimper, so raw and fucked out it barely even sounds like him at all, and Eddie feels the way his cock twitches a split second before the hot dampness of his release splashes against Eddie’s stomach, his pubic hair, the head of his dick, and then Eddie is throwing his head back with a shout to empty himself into Steve’s hand.
It comes in fucking waves. Eddie’s never come this hard in his life. He feels like he might be turning inside out from the force of it, wrung dry, every muscle in his body pulled taut like a drum.
“ Holy Christ, ” Eddie breathes in the aftermath, his head swimming and his fingers tingling. His mouth is dry and he’s hot all over. His muscles throb and their combined spend on his skin is cooling, feels a little gross but goddamn if it’s not the hottest thing Eddie has ever experienced.
“Yeah,” Steve agrees, flopping onto the bed beside him. “Holy Christ, Eds. Why weren’t we doing this months ago? ”
“Thought you were fuckin’ straight.”
“Aren’t you glad I’m not?”
“Still trying to wrap my fuckin’ head around it, honestly.”
“I meant it,” Steve says quietly. “I really do wanna fuck you.”
“Take a guy to dinner first, though, huh?” Eddie jokes.
“Mmm, maybe I will. Seafood or Italian?”
“Seafood. I can put away some crab legs.”
Steve makes a face. “Bet you look so sexy with melted butter all over your mouth.”
“Oh, I’m sure. ”
They don’t talk about how it’d be dangerous for them to go out on a very public date, or how they’re going to tell the others about this development in their friendship. They don’t talk about what they are. They laugh about the drying cum on Eddie’s skin, and the way Steve shook apart when he climaxed, and the size of Steve’s cock in comparison to Eddie’s.
But they steer clear of feelings. They steer clear of vulnerability. 
Eddie will have to tell Steve eventually that he’s got very real feelings here, that he wants Steve to be his boyfriend and not just a buddy he fucks around with, but he figures he can test those waters out a little later, maybe after he’s gotten Steve’s cock in his mouth. Or after they go all the way. If he’s gonna destroy their friendship he might as well lose his virginity first, right?
This is gonna suck when Steve inevitably tells him he doesn’t feel the same way.
***
Third Base
Eddie’s not entirely sure how this is supposed to work. He’s never sucked a dick before in his life. He’s thought about it, fantasized about it all the way back in the day when his older friends were starting to get their first girlfriends and getting sucked off for the first time, but… the reality of it is so much different than his fantasies.
For one, Steve’s cock is… well, massive might be overselling it a little bit. It’s sure as shit not small, though. Eddie’s worried he might have to actually unhinge his jaw like a weird snake creature just to get him in his mouth all the way. For another thing… what’s Eddie gonna do when Steve comes? Will he take it in his mouth, swallow it down? Is he supposed to? What if he gags on it? What if it tastes terrible and makes him choke?
When the time comes, though, Eddie’s worry is stripped from him with the quickness of his own jeans being stripped from his thighs and tossed across the room.
He’s barely even hard yet, and Steve’s mouth is enveloping him in wet heat.
“Fuck, Stevie, I was gonna suck you off.”
“You can do me next,” Steve tells him, drawing off enough to stroke him to full hardness before getting back to work. “Been dying to get my mouth on you for ages.”
Oh, fuck, Eddie is going to make a fool out of himself here. He’s barely been hard for a full minute and already the tug in his gut is telling him it’s almost time, that he’s going to come in Steve’s mouth before they’ve even really gotten started here.
“Fuck, Stevie. Not gonna last, sweetheart, it’s so -- Jesus fuck, there! ”
Steve pulls back, gives Eddie some relief as he squeezes the base of his dick.
“That good?” Steve asks, his smirk cocky and teasing.
“Don’t get a big head about it, okay?”
Steve is kneeling between his legs, and from his place there he looks up at Eddie from beneath those long beautiful eyelashes, Eddie’s cock resting against his bottom lip, and he maintains eye contact as he presses the tip of his tongue to Eddie’s slit.
“Ah, fuck.”
“Mmm, first time, huh?”
Eddie says, “Fuck you,” but it comes out breathless, his voice a little wrecked, and Steve chuckles deep in his chest before taking Eddie to the fucking hilt again.
Eddie throws his head back, closes his eyes, his hand resting gently in Steve’s hair as he just gives himself over to wet heat and suction.
He does his best not to thrust into Steve’s throat, but it’s so hard. Steve’s drooling on him, pearly strings of spit connecting his lips to the tight ring of his fingers where he holds Eddie’s cock steady. It’s a fucking sight when Eddie’s brave enough to actually look at him.
And the sounds Steve is making -- the wet squelch of his mouth around Eddie’s dick, the low groans in the back of his throat when Eddie twitches for him, the literal fucking slurping noises as he applies that delicious fucking suction to the head -- they’re all threatening to do Eddie in once and for all.
Eddie’s not entirely sure how long it’s been -- might be five minutes, might be fucking two seconds for all he knows -- but it becomes very clear very quickly that Eddie’s gonna blow. He hears himself mumble out a vague warning as if from far away, grabbing at Steve’s hair and shoulders to push him back rather than come in his mouth but Steve holds firm, sucks him down to the root of his cock and opens his throat.
Steve gags on him and that’s what fucking does it. Eddie’s vision goes white and he cries out when the coil in his gut finally snaps. His eyes cross and his hips stutter and he floods Steve’s mouth with his spunk but Steve… Steve moans like it’s the nectar of the gods and he drinks Eddie down, his throat bobbing as he swallows, his lips still wrapped tightly around the head of Eddie’s dick.
When it’s over, after Steve has milked the last of Eddie’s release from him and he’s beginning to get too sensitive to let it go on, Eddie pushes him back and collapses onto Steve’s bed.
“Jesus,” he pants. “ Shit, Steve, where’d you learn to do that?”
“Does it matter? Just made you come in…” he checks his watch, “three minutes.”
“Rub it in, why don’t you?” Eddie should probably be embarrassed at how quickly he came, but he isn’t. “Take it as a compliment, alright?”
“Oh, I do. You lasted longer than I did my first time.”
“Yeah? King Steve comes early, then, does he?”
“Wanna test that theory?”
“I don’t… I don’t think I’m gonna be any good at it,” Eddie admits quietly. “Especially, like… I’ve never…”
“Me either” Steve shrugs.
“Yeah, but you’ve received a lot of blowjobs, so.”
“I have, but…” Steve pauses, like he’s not sure he wants to say what he’s about to. “I haven’t had one from you. I think… even if you aren’t experienced, I think it’ll probably be the best one I’ve had. Because, like… it’s you. ”
Eddie scoffs. “I bet you say that to all the boys.”
“Told you already, Eds,” Steve says, getting on the bed to take Eddie’s mouth in a kiss. “Just you. Always just you.”
Even as he presses Steve to his back and pops the fly of his jeans, Eddie is nervous. Even as he drags those jeans down Steve’s thighs, his heart is racing. Even as he spreads Steve’s legs on either side of his own body, Eddie can’t fucking believe this is happening. He strokes Steve a little bit, occupies their mouths with more kissing while he works up the nerve to finally get him in his mouth.
Eddie’s going to be terrible at this.
He puts his all into it anyway. What he lacks in experience, he is determined to make up for in sheer enthusiasm alone, so he stores his anxiety away in the back of his mind and he gets to work. He swallows Steve down as far as his gag reflex will let him -- barely halfway down his fucking shaft, apparently -- and he listens to Steve groan above him.
“So warm, baby,” Steve whispers. “Use your tongue.”
Glad for the direction, Eddie uses the flat of his tongue to stroke up the underside of Steve’s cock, pleased when Steve makes a little noise of pleasure above him. He sucks on the head and Steve jerks a little bit. He presses the tip of his tongue into the slit of Steve’s cock, the way Steve did for him, and there’s a hand tightening in Eddie’s hair.
Oh, so he likes that.
Eddie does it again before sliding his mouth a little further down and doing his level best to open his throat but he gags anyway, and the sensation must do something for Steve because his dick twitches out a blurt of precome against the back of Eddie’s tongue.
Eddie moves, bobbing his head and licking at the glans of Steve’s dick and Steve is chanting yeah, yeah, yeah above him in time with his movements. His back is arching a little bit, his head thrown back, and the hand not in Eddie’s hair is fisted in his blanket like he’s holding on for dear life.
He takes Steve down again, as far as he can, and Steve’s moan when he gags again is high pitched and tightly wound.
“Eddie, oh my god, fuck, you’re -- you’re gonna make me come, babe.”
Eddie’s heart leaps in his chest at the pet name. He loves that -- loves it when Steve calls him babe.
Eddie pulls back, focuses a little more on the head again, and Steve’s hips actually do begin to buck up to shove his cock deeper in Eddie’s mouth. Eddie sucks hard, and Steve cries out, goes tense, his voice loud and frantic as he warns Eddie.
“Now, now now now, Eds, I’m --”
And he does. And Eddie takes it. It tastes fucking awful but Eddie swallows it anyway, each heavy spurt hot and slick on his tongue. He gags through it and it makes Steve whine even as he pulls his softening cock from Eddie’s mouth.
“Beautiful,” Steve whispers. He sits up and reaches for Eddie, pulls him to crawl up his body until he’s straddling Steve’s hips and kissing him deeply, the taste of them mingling in the kiss and making Eddie hot all over again.
“God, Eds, you’re so good, so fucking good for me,” Steve whispers against the kiss. “Wanna do this with you forever, babe. Forever. Fuck. I’m all yours, Eds.”
Eddie could cry at the declaration. He is so certain it’s just the orgasm afterglow talking, that Steve can’t possibly feel that way for real, but god, if there was ever a chance for Eddie to reciprocate out loud, it’s now.
“Forever,” Eddie hears himself say, echoing the sentiment, and Steve is dragging the shirts off of both their backs and tucking them beneath the covers on his big, soft bed. He pulls Eddie close, their lips meeting again and again, their legs tangling and knees knocking together. “Think I love you, Stevie.”
Steve brushes the hair away from Eddie’s face and whispers, “Tell me again tomorrow when you’re not riding the third base high and I might believe you.”
“I mean it,” Eddie insists, doing everything he can to inject as much confidence and certainty into his voice as he can. “Been meanin’ to tell you for… for weeks, okay? I just… you’re outta my league, Harrington.”
Steve kisses him again, groaning as he does. “You gotta stop with these baseball metaphors. I can’t get it up again yet but you’re makin’ me wanna try.”
***
The Home Run
When Eddie was fourteen, he learned the chords and lyrics to MeatLoaf’s Paradise by the Dashboard Light, and that’s been the extent of his baseball knowledge, intentionally, ever since. He’s having flashbacks now, the lyrics of that song sitting heavily in his head and in his gut as Steve drags him by the shirt to the backseat of the Beamer. 
It’s a humid night, the rain showers from earlier in the day did nothing to cool it down and made the air muggy and thick, even all the way out here on the edge of town where they’re parked. They’ve been sitting in the car in the field out past Merrill’s famous pumpkin patch for the better part of two or three hours, just talking and trying to figure out where their relationship stands.
Eddie came clean earlier, told Steve he meant it the other night after they’d blown each other, when he told Steve that he loved him. It’s been building and building in him for months, since the moments of quiet while they waited for the world to end back in March. They’d talked about the perception of Steve’s straightness, how he’d always had really intense friendships with other boys and how in retrospect now he can see them for the crushes they were.
And then they’d gotten down to making out. And they’d undone one another’s flies and gotten their hands on each other, panting and moaning into their kisses over the gearshift. And the whole time, Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about that stupid song, the baseball interlude part with the announcer declaring the characters safe at second base while they made out in the car.
And now, here’s Steve, climbing over the center console to the backseat and dragging Eddie with him. It’s a tight fit back here, the windows cracked and the engine off, keys still hanging from the ignition. It’s humid in the car, smells like sweat and Steve’s expensive shampoo, and Eddie’s tee shirt is a little damp when Steve peels it off of him.
Steve drags his own shirt over his head too, punching the roof of the car with a sharp curse as he does, and Eddie’s frantic with the way he shoves his jeans and boxers off of one leg. Steve elbows him hard in the hip while he’s pushing his own jeans down far enough for his cock to spring free, and then Eddie throws one leg over Steve’s lap to straddle him.
Just like the first time they made out. This time, with far less fabric between them.
“Ready to hit this home run, sweetheart?”
Steve reaches around his to dip his hand into the pocket on the back of the passenger seat and pulls back with an unopened bottle of lube. 
“Think we can make it a grand slam,” he says as he pops the seal on the bottle and pours it over his fingers.
It’s a tight squeeze, getting Steve’s hand between them to creep underneath, where he pets and prods behind Eddie’s balls in search of his hole. Eddie jumps a little when he finds it, one slick finger rubbing circles over the tight, hairy clench of muscle he finds there. Eddie’s gazing down at him, and Steve is gazing right back up at Eddie, and his pupils go wide as he sinks his finger inside of him. The sensation makes Eddie gasp, his jaw dropping in surprise at the size of just one of those fingers as it slides home.
“Okay?” Steve asks in a whisper. He’s inside Eddie to the last knuckle, not moving, and Eddie can feel the way his second finger is curled against the skin of his asscrack right beside the first.
Eddie can’t find his breath, nods encouragingly for Steve to keep going, to move his finger, and Steve does. It slides out, and back in, and back out and inside again, and Eddie can feel the way his body is relaxing around it, the lube easing the way. Steve takes his cock in his other hand and strokes Eddie to keep him hard, and he whispers something but Eddie’s ears are full of cotton. He nods anyway, like he actually fuckin’ heard him, and a moan punches out of him when that second finger presses in beside the first.
It’s a stretch and a burn and Eddie is holding onto Steve’s shoulders for dear life as sweat pools in his collar bones and on his upper lip. Eddie tilts his hips back a little, seeking friction, and Steve begins to move the way he was before when it was just one finger, but this time every time he pulls back he spreads his fingers to open Eddie’s hole up more. Eddie can feel the way his pulse quickens with each outward stroke of those clever fingers and before he knows it he’s moving, fucking himself on them, clutching Steve’s wrist to hold him where he wants him while he takes and takes and takes.
“More,” Eddie hears himself say, and it comes out whiny, almost demanding, but Steve’s mouth finds Eddie’s throat at the same moment he shoves a third finger into Eddie’s asshole. He doesn’t hesitate anymore, thrusting those fucking fingers in and out and in and out, spreading them and pressing deep and curling them in a way that makes Eddie breathless with need, desperate for even more of that stretch and burn.
His hips are urgent, pressing down onto Steve’s fingers and up into the circle of his fist around his cock. Peering down to Steve’s lap, Eddie’s only a little surprised to find Steve hard and leaking, the slit of his cock shiny and red and swollen with need. If he could focus on anything more than the feeling of being stuffed full of Steve’s fingers and fucking into his hand he’d touch him, spread the lube over Steve’s cock himself so he can finally fucking impale himself on it like he’s been dreaming of for the past - fuck - several months.
“Your cock, Stevie,” Eddie gasps, whining as Steve finds that place inside him again that makes Eddie’s head swim and his vision spark with stars. “Need it. Ready for you. Where’s the lube?”
Steve’s hand leaves his cock to fish for the bottle, discarded and leaking, still open on the seat beside them and he presses it into Eddie’s hand. Eddie dumps the stuff into his palm and takes Steve’s cock in his hand, giving him a good hard jerk as he spreads it over the hot flesh of him. It sounds so fucking wet, Eddie’s hand moving over Steve’s cock like this, and Steve’s hand has stilled where his fingers are inside him. He’s groaning, thrusting into Eddie’s hand and slowly pulling his fingers free of his body for Eddie to gape and flex around nothing.
“C’mon,” Steve whispers as he guides Eddie’s hips into position over his cock. “Get over here.”
“Ready for this, slugger?” Eddie breathes, capturing Steve’s mouth in a filthy open mouthed kiss.
He shifts, maneuvering Steve’s cock against his hole and he sits, slowly, so fucking slowly.
“Ah, fuck, ” he grits out when the head pops through, and he forces himself to breathe.
Steve is staring up at him, his mouth falling open and gaping, a sound trapped in his throat as his brow furrows at the sensation.
Carefully, Eddie lowers himself more, hissing at the stretch and the slide of Steve’s cock into his body. He doesn’t stop until he’s fully seated in Steve’s lap, where he finally pauses to just bask in it. Steve is inside him. Steve’s cock is completely and totally inside Eddie’s hole, filling him up and stretching him out, making a home for itself. Steve is clutching him, his fingernails digging into the skin of Eddie’s hip and thigh, and there’ll be finger shaped bruises there by morning and Eddie’ll get them fucking tattooed to keep this memory forever if he has to.
Eddie leans back, hooking an arm around each of the headrests on the front seats, watching Steve’s eyes roam over his body as he does.
“Fuck me,” Eddie hears himself say. “Please, Stevie. Please fuck me.”
Steve does. He takes Eddie’s hips in his hands and lifts him up before driving into him and it’s like something breaks between them then. Steve plants his feet, lifting his hips off the seat and he sets into a steady, punishing rhythm. He’s got his head thrown back, the long line of his body taut and muscled, abs flexing with every thrust, his chest hair damp and curly with sweat. There’s no way the car isn’t rocking with the force of this thing between them, Steve’s brutal thrusts into Eddie’s body, the roll of Eddie’s hips as he meets him every single time.
“Fuck you feel so fucking good, Eds.” Steve says it like it’s all one word, the way you’d say amen at the end of a prayer. “Gonna live with my dick in your ass forever, fuck. ”
Eddie never thought sex would be like this. The sweat, the heat of it - that he expected. The hands on his skin, though, the reverence in Steve’s gaze as he looks at him, the little sounds they’re both making, the chants of “I love you I love you I love you” - this , he never anticipated.
“C’mere,” Steve whispers, reaching for Eddie, and Eddie goes to him. He takes his arms from where they’re hooked around the headrests and he pitches forward until his hands find Steve’s hair, until Steve’s mouth finds his own, until they’re kissing. It’s slower like this, pressed together, Eddie’s hips still rocking in time with Steve’s thrusts. The smell of Steve surrounds him like this. It’s all expensive shampoo and sweat and sex, and if Eddie could bottle it to keep he would.
Steve’s hand finds the small of Eddie’s back and presses, guiding him forward to rock down onto him and take him even deeper. Eddie’s cock drags along the planes of Steve’s abs and makes him dizzy. He’s amazed he’s lasted this long and certain he’s coming up on his release quick. Steve’s whispering into his mouth, moaning his name, calling him beautiful, calling him a good boy and Eddie’s got no idea why that’s doing it for him but it drags a whimper from somewhere deep in his soul. Eddie gasps when Steve finds that place within him again, and Steve sucks Eddie’s lip into his mouth.
“I love you,” Steve says again, and Eddie’s too breathless, too consumed with Steve to say it back so he kisses the words into him instead, licking into Steve’s mouth as he quickens the pace of his hips to chase his release. It’s there, it’s building, it’s within sight now and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop it when he gets there.
Steve’s hand comes between them to touch Eddie, wrap around him and move against him.
“Ready to come for me?” he whispers against Eddie’s lips, and Eddie is. He is very, very much ready to come for Steve, ready to bust all over his hand, in his chest hair, ready to lick him clean afterwards.
“Come inside me,” Eddie says, and Steve groans. 
Briefly, Steve’s rhythm falters a little. His thrusts get jerky, twitchy, and then he presses deep with a cry, spilling deep into Eddie’s body. There’s a flood of warmth, slick and perfect, and Steve’s hips don’t stop, his hand flying over Eddie’s cock to bring him off and there, right on the precipice of release Eddie cries out. He lets it wash over him, barrel through him, and he makes a mess of Steve’s skin with every splash of cum against his chest.
“Fuck,” Eddie breathes when it’s over. “Holy fuck, Stevie, shit. Is sex always like that?”
“Sex has never been like that,” Steve laughs. “Jesus Christ, Eds. Jesus fucking Christ. You’re it for me, I think.”
“Well, shit, after that I’d fuckin’ hope so.”
“Maybe a bed next time, huh?”
Carefully, Eddie lifts himself up off of Steve’s lap, Steve’s cock falling free from his hole and -
“Oh, Jesus, it’s leaking out of me, what the fuck? ”
Steve laughs again, drawing Eddie back down into his lap so he can kiss him some more. He threads their fingers together and holds him there, his other hand coming up to push Eddie’s hair out of his face. They’re tacky with sweat and cum but it’s perfect, and distantly, Eddie hears Steve begin to hum a little tune. Eddie thinks he recognizes it, but his brain hasn’t come back from wherever he threw it earlier and he can’t seem to…
“Take me out to the ball game,” Steve sings under his breath, and Eddie snorts. 
Yeah. That was it. Fuckin’ jocks.
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tag list <33 @patchworkgargoyle @thefreakandthehair @sidekick-hero @stobinesque @starryeyedjanai
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liulith · 1 month
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Sir Pentious & Alastor: an underrated dynamic
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"Show yourself, Alastor! Come and face--! Oh, there you are. FACE MY WRATH!"
Sir Pentious has been in Hell for much longer than Alastor. That means he was there when the Radio Demon appeared, and he's been trying to overthrow Alastor for decades! We know what Alastor is capable of, and what he could do if he truly wanted Sir Pentious to stop. He obviously doesn't register Sir Pentious as a threat, but that doesn't mean he's not annoying (like when he interrupts his song in the pilot and destroys a wall in ep2). Yet in all those decades, Alastor always let him go with the equivalent of a slap on the wrist, considering what he's done to other sinners in his broadcasts.
And why is that? Why, he must find Sir Pentious very entertaining, of course! Even though he calls Sir Pentious forgettable (to rile him up), there's no way a narcissist like him doesn't LOVE being the main focus of Pentious' "evil plans", as pathetic as they are. Not only does he give him the attention he deserves (like Vox), he's a true "architect of evil" who constantly reinvents himself to try and get the upper hand on Alastor. To Alastor, Pentious is like a sillier, weaker, more immature version of Vox with close to ZERO survival instincts but twice the creativity. Even Vox, who made a whole diss track about Al, wouldn't dare speak to him the way Sir Pentious does if they were face to face.
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"SILENCE! Now cower! For when I've ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal."
He does have some "oh shit" moments when he sees he crossed a line/is about to get Team Rocket-ed, but he still gets back up and attacks him again with all the unearned confidence of a man who has no idea how easy Alastor goes on him.
Just like Alastor, Pentious is attached to the aesthetics and technology of the time period he knew when he was alive, and still manages to innovate with those limitations. I think Alastor could respect that.
"You whores have no class! In war, the side remembered is the side with the most style!"
It's also funny that to Pentious, Alastor is the young, modern one. Some phrases Alastor uses are "young people slang" to him!
Pentious asking Alastor questions on his "modern" radio technology...
Alastor is one sarcastic bastard, and Sir Pent is one of the most naive characters in the show. He takes a lot of things way too literally (#autism?). That's just PERFECT for comedic misunderstandings between these two!
Before s1 was released there were quite a lot of ace!Pentious headcanons. I think we could still make a case for closeted ace-adjacent!Pentious in canon! Possibility even aroace!Pentious, if we interpret his crush on Cherri as compulsive heteronormativity (he loves her creative genius and is fascinated by her explosive contraptions; surely that means she's the one, right?)
Ace4Ace Alastor & Pentious would be a fun duo in my opinion. They could bond over their shared experience
On the topic of bonding... ("I have feelings for you" (Narrator voice: the feeling was friendship, but he had ever experienced it before)
Seriously, imagine Sir Pentious spending more and more time around Alastor because of the hotel, taking his sarcastic and mocking remarks literally and thinking they're becoming closer... And then being like. WAIT. Do I have feelings for him?? and trying to seduce him like he does with Cherri Bomb. The absolute shenanigans... Rizzlord Pentious strikes again.
Accidental fake dating scenario that only exists in Vox's head, where Vox, being the stalker that he is, spies in the two of them bonding and reaches all the wrong conclusions
Once Sir Pentious dies for the second time and ascends to Heaven, he could meet Alastor's mom 👀
EDIT: OH and How could I forget the Egg Boiz?? Egg Boiz babysitter!Alastor is canon and he definitely babysat them multiple times in the few months Sir Pentious spent at the hotel. Joint custody :3
AND let's not forget the important information that Frank the Egg Boy reported to Sir Pentious lol. The one Charlie made a deal with Alastor for. I can imagine Alastor considering killing the Egg Boiz/ Sir Pentious after learning Frank didn't keep quiet (Imagine Sir Pentious trying to engage in a conversation w/ Alastor and telling him what Frank told him as a joke akfkkd), spending a whole afternoon trailing after them and making plans, only to realise that the Egg Boiz say insane shit all the time and Sir Pentious was in fact NOT playing 4D chess by telling him he knew (and probably already forgot all about it)
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thankssteveditko · 7 months
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About Marvel's timeline
Here's something else important to keep in mind as I made my way through these comics: the way Marvel handles its timeline.
Marvel's comics have always been set in a fictionalized version of the present day real world that just so happens to also have superheroes and aliens and magic and whatnot. They've never been shy about referencing real world events or pop culture to ground the comics in our reality. The first ever Spider-Man story mentioned that he should go on The Ed Sullivan Show. Iron Man's classic origin story involves the Vietnam War. In the far, far future, I'm gonna have to cover the infamous 9/11 issue of Spider-Man where Marvel's heroes AND villains mourn at Ground Zero.
Marvel's main universe has also never had a true full-on reboot. They'll do their big dumb crossover events that Change Everything Forever™, sure. (God, I am not looking forward to having to worry about crossover events.) But, like... the stuff that came before still happened, for the most part.
So, combine these two facts, and you've got 60+ years of comics referencing then-current events that are basically all still in continuity... but the characters haven't aged 60 years. Things operate on a floating timeline - or a "sliding timescale," as Marvel seems to prefer. But unlike, say, The Simpsons, where the characters never age, some time HAS passed for Marvel's cast! Spider-Man isn't 17 forever, he's grown up over the course of the series. There's of course some timey-wimey nonsense that was invented decades later to explain this bizarre chronology, but basically, the characters get a year older about once every four real world years.
So, long story short: those 60+ years of comics get compressed to about, say, 15 years of in-universe history.
What of all the topical references, then? Just... don't think about it too hard. Marvel continuity supernerds will tell you those aren't supposed to be literal, and most get retconned out with enough time. (A few years back they invented a fictional all-purpose southeast Asian war that can perpetually be pulled forward with the sliding timescale, to replace outdated references to the Vietnam War and the Korean War.) If you go on the Marvel wiki and try to edit references to real world history into a character's biography they'll bust your fuckin' kneecaps.
On the other hand: it's funnier if you take them literally. So as we go through these early Spider-Man comics where characters reference things like twist music, just remember that - at the time of writing this in 2023 - the events of those comics are now considered to be set in about 2008 or 2009.
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science70 · 1 year
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M. K. Joseph, The Hole in the Zero (Avon edition, 1969).
Cover art: Ed Soyka
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the-empress-7 · 10 months
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WSJ: The Spotify deal is kaput. The Netflix deal is unlikely to be renewed. And the employees left see more rejections than approvals. Prince Harry and Meghan are flopping in Hollywood. Our look inside the turmoil at Sussex-upon-Sunset, w/
@bysarahkrouse
https://archive.ph/lpNKq
"Choosing the right kind of guest was often fraught. Meghan would often ask for changes late in the editing process, at times recruiting senior Spotify executives...to call producers and push them to make changes."
"Archewell employees & associates say the company often lacks direction, & that its founders at times seem surprised by the work required to finish entertainment projects. Most potential initiatives, they said, follow a similar route: Big idea, subpar execution."
"Both Netflix & Spotify "...have been underwhelmed by the lack of productivity by the Sussexes, people familiar with their perspectives say."
"Executives at Netflix have groused about Archewell’s output, according to people familiar with the matter, and feel that the success of the “Harry & Meghan” documentary is all the company has to show for the deal."
Spotify’s executives grew frustrated with the amount of time it took Archewell to conceptualize an idea for Meghan’s podcast & assemble a production team." Spotify's Gimlet had to help Meghan compile a guest list & build a podcast studio in their mansion
"Archewell didn’t make good on all of the terms of the Spotify deal, which included each of the Sussexes voicing and being directly involved in a podcast. Harry, in particular, struggled to land on an idea."
Ed Owens, author of the book, “After Elizabeth: Can the Monarchy Save Itself?” said Harry tried to return to subjects he previously focused on, but without the foundation of being a working royal. “They haven’t found the one area that they can really call their own.”
Given their distance from the crown, the sheen Harry & Meghan once lent show-business projects is dimming. It helped cost them what was intended to be their first project with Netflix, an animated show about powerful women of history called “Pearl.”
The graveyard of video projects they hoped to make includes an animated children’s show called “Pearl” that was canceled by Netflix, as well as at least two TV ideas that the streaming service rejected within the past year, people familiar with Harry and Meghan’s projects said. Netflix is unlikely to renew the couple’s deal, which runs through 2025, the people said.
"Meghan wrote Taylor Swift a personal letter asking her to come on the podcast. The pop star declined, through a representative.”
"
Holy 💩
The floodgates in Hollywood have truly opened. And wtf was Netflix thinking signing people with zero experience to a five year deal instead of a 2 or 3 year one with the option to renew.
PS: dying at Taylor Swift rejecting her through a rep not even bothering to respond to her personally
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