#edit 2: also noah fence it's so funny when my therapist is like 'should we make a safety plan?' like

[badcountryofficial]

holy hell i made the past hour and a half absolutely unbearable for myself lol i’m very angry but not at myself

#i feel very nauseous and i'm going to bed #a little slip. tomorrow will be better. #edit: i need a fucking hug and hot apple cider #i need a hug i need a hug i need a HUG i need someone to hug me #and acknowledge how hard im trying and tell me its gonna be okay brcause its so hard to believe #idk i keep getting better! and going yes! i can do this! it'll be good if i can push thru! #and then i lapse into this and it's like #it'd be so EASY tho to just not be here #i can't do that to my mom tho she's already dealing w so much #god. buries my head in my hands. i wanna cry in someone's arms. #i wanna feel important but i shouldnt #edit 2: also noah fence it's so funny when my therapist is like 'should we make a safety plan?' like #as if i'd actually follow thru w that lol #no! ik how anxiety inducing it is to wake up to goodbye messages or knowing that someone is close like im not #gonna be texting ppl for help or whatever when im at thay point thats not fair to them #just. #ok ot's gettin dark in these tags huh💀💀