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#edit for word choice
inkskinned · 2 months ago
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tbh for a long time i really resented the advice "pick a partner that you would want to raise kids with" because i don't want kids and i hated that all relationships had to come from this place of procreation-first. what about toxic friendships, after all.
it took me a really long time to realize it's a bastardization of good advice.
many of us are recovering from being raised by parents/caregivers that were in toxic relationships or were toxic themselves. we learned behaviors, thoughts, and patterns from these people, and we spend our adult lives untangling and dismantling the harm done to us.
the advice should be - is this the person you'd want a child to emulate? is this a person you'd want a child even around? is this a person you can trust alone with a kid - any kid, mind you - and know that the child is safe, looked after, loved? is the relationship you're in one you'd want children to see and repeat in their adult lives? or is the relationship one you hope they won't follow, after all?
to be honest, i knew when i was in a bad relationship. i'd tell people - i know, i know, i should break up with him. i know, i know. she's not actually a good friend. but the reality was that it's incredibly difficult to escape the-devil-you-know. it was easy enough to train myself to be okay with it; i have very little regard for the-self and the process of cutting people out was simply too threatening for my mental state.
but i wouldn't put a younger version of myself through the same thing. i'd picture her in the same situation. i would tell her, broody as she is - leave, you're happier outside of it, never let anyone talk to you like that, you're worth more than this. i'd tell her when you let him cross your boundaries, the fault is his, but you need to understand you're rewarding bad behavior if you don't do something about it. i would wish, fervently, i could restart the relationship and do it all differently, be-young-again.
and then i realized: i am the younger version of myself. a future version of myself is begging me to leave. to take my happiness seriously. i am a kid to fifty-year-old-me. and i need to take my own advice. it's okay if that sets me up to grieve.
pick a partner that you would trust a younger version of yourself with. pick friends you'd want your younger self to grow up alongside. pick love that makes you feel like you want everyone to experience in their life and feel with others, something magical and shareable and full of mist. pick a love that feels like you can grow in it. pick a love like: i will be proud of this.
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I'm so frustrated with news media culture
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This CBS article showed up in my newsfeed. I normally don't click on articles like these, but I read the headlines. My instinctive response to this headline was "what a tepid, noncommittal response from an uncaring administration." Mainly because that's the mental framework that media & social media has taught me to use.
Then I clicked the article:
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What Biden actually said was that these laws are an atrocity (they are). He literally called them "Jim Crow in the 21st Century" (completely true). He made a sweeping condemnation, taking a far stronger stance than the headline implied--stronger than the media has taught me to expect. A much more accurate headline would have been "Biden condemns Georgia election laws" or "Biden calls Georgia election laws an "atrocity"".
As a progressive, I have enough complaints about the Biden administration without media companies purposely trying to mislead me with this shit. Keep in mind the vast majority of people who read the headline will not click on the article. That is just how headlines work. And this is just one of dozens of small but incredibly harmful journalistic practices. Too many U.S. media companies consistently twist words & highlight the wrong information in order to drive wedges between liberal voting blocs while unifying the far right and I am sick of it.
Always read critically, and hold your news sources accountable.
#reminder of the extreme importance of supporting independent news sources#especially nonprofits like Mother Jones#but always always always examine word choices and tone#it's become second nature to me to rewrite and rephrase news articles as I'm reading them#i go into mental 'editing' mode.#just rephrasing sentences a different way as an experiment can do a LOT to quickly uncover invisible bias#for every phrase there are two synonyms that could have been used instead. and the writer made the choice they did for a REASON#anyways. TONE POLICE MEDIA COMPANIES NOT MINORITIES#serious post#not a shitpost#no I'm not a fan of the Biden administration#but falling for shit like this is ultimately why we got that orange fucker instead of clinton#Christ think about how much better the last year alone would have been if we'd had Clinton#again not a clinton fan but we would have had a functional center for disease control for one thing#would have had a center for disease control in the midst of a global pandemic#remember the CDC? the thing Trump got rid of along with 100 other essential government services#well putting children in cages is expensive I guess. Walls don't pay for themselves#anyway. vote as a form of harm reduction#yes the system should probably be torn down and built from fucking scratch#but until you figure out a way to do that will you please just fucking vote to reduce harm#wow. this was such a small thing but apparently I was set to go off I guess#I am possibly just beginning to process the last 4 years of social trauma.
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messed-up-gal · 8 months ago
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didn’t watch most of this dream stream, but the number of posts in the mcyt tag and on my dash psychoanalyzing every single instance dream mentioned george or listened to him talk in the manhunt video is so beyond creepy.
I don’t tend to criticize the people in this fandom very harshly. usually, I diss someone and move on, I talk shit about mcyttwt as a whole just because that’s a dumpsterfire and justified, or I have discussions with people who disagree with me. but this is something that truly disgusts me, and I’m going to say in no uncertain terms that I’m disappointed in every single one of you who does this. 
Every single one of you who makes these ridiculous, nitpicky posts and engages in this kinda discourse is wrong. First of all, this stream was not about this at all, so this being your takeaway is absurd. Second of all, counting the seconds it takes for him to pause in between words or breathe, noting the inflection in his voice at the end of some sentences - these are so beyond creepy. I just can’t even articulate how fucked this is. I get that people on the Internet are going to be scrutinized because videos are forever and can be scrolled through, rewatched, and paused, but that that reality exists doesn’t excuse it, in my opinion.
Also, I’m going to use this as an opening to bring up a point about dnf that I have hated for some time but never said anything about. Why can’t a man talk about a male friend without every single utterance and action assumed to be romantic? I get that there are distinct moments that explictly seem like flirting and are naturally going to garner shipping from the audience, I get that. I get that sometimes one of them laughs a lot at a seemingly-inane joke and it’s cute, or that sometimes George blushes at something Dream says, or that one of them makes an innuendo/tells a pickup line, yeah. All of those things are, in my eyes, justifiably assumed to have romantic subtext. But every single joke between them, every single word they tell each other, every single insult or compliment, everything is scrutinized and given a romantic meaning by shippers, and I can’t help but feel like that’s kinda wrong. If we’ve gotten to the point that a seven-second clip of Dream - someone who, by the way, hasn’t streamed in weeks and also has ADHD, for fuck’s sake - getting distracted incites entire paragraphs overanalyzing why he got distracted and concluding that it was because of George’s voice, I can’t help but feel like we’ve crossed a line
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likethehorrormovie · 8 months ago
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Broke: Bakugou never makes it past Number Ten.
The public dislikes his attitude and language. He never escapes the assumptions made about him following the sports festival, and being abducted by LOV.
...His approval rating is incredibly low. Even though he is an adept hero who saves many lives. He is consistently voted the "Hero who looks most like a villain". He hates it.
Woke: The people love him because he's a precious and petty bitch.
Bakugou's approval rating is INSANELY high, and it's for the exact same reason he's consistently voted Number One in the real world.
And Bakugou is straight up fucking livid.
...Because his die hard fans rarely even call him by his hero name. Instead: he is primarily addressed as things like "gremlin man", "pomeranian", "TSUNDERE" and "my son 🥰🥰!"
There are challenges to see who can get him to acknowledge them or remember their names/ faces at events. People regularly send hand made spicy bento boxes to his PO-box. Twitter users tag him in memes making fun of him- but they also leave him notes telling him to make sure he drinks water, and that he's doing a good job. They also still consistently vote him the "hero who looks most like a villain", but it's with love.
...Older hero fans of course hate him. But try as they might: they cannot compete with the swaths of adoring stans (that Bakugou does NOT understand)- voting him high in the polls every year.
The first time Bakugou is awarded Number One (he and Deku constantly switch places in the polls)- he screams death threats all his fans (on live television- and into a microphone) for their bullshittery.
And they LOVE it.
...Bakugou gets banned from going live on day time TV that day. But he garners an even larger cult following.
Because civilian fans know his death threats are empty when directed at them. But villains are still terrified of him.
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zigsnose · 20 days ago
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AHHH JULIEN IS BACK!!
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and i really liked the first chat?? MC was h*rny as always which i'm not opposed to in this case but it was actually super entertaining to read! like why was this so funny to me omg
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inkskinned · 6 months ago
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it is almost summer, somehow. i disintegrated in march and slept through april. i miss plums. i miss coming home. i miss my family. i miss fruit stands by the side of the road.
a lot is better now, just-personally. i can buy my own plums. i am surrounded by people who actually say sorry. i am in love. i am in therapy.
my friends and i lie in the grass and watch the crows overhead. i am 27 and learning how to longboard, even though it makes me kind of afraid to lose my teeth. i am confused by certain video game mechanics, which i used to pick up so easily.
it is okay, to miss a thing. i eat a grape (small plum, maybe?) and think about - the world is so easy to feel empty in, or too-full, or swirling. the days seem to exist in extremity - either where did the time go or why is this happening so slowly.
plums come back into season. i have been singing in the shower again. i often feel this strange edge in my thoughts; where the good-nature of my recovery comes slinking back in. like remembering how to hold without clutching.
i put one hand on the walls of my heart and i keep walking.
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writinghereandthere · a year ago
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Cute - Ethan x MC
Book: Open Heart
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC
Summary: In which Mariana asks Ethan to recount all the times he thought she was ‘cute’. Set after Chapter 14.
Warnings: While this is Fluff (ahead of the smut storm that is going to hit this month) there are vague mentions of sexual content. 
--
“So, you think I’m cute?”
Ethan’s gaze flits to the ceiling, asking a higher power for patience, and regretting that his mouth got away from him. His fingers halt their dizzying patterns along her arm.
“Distractingly so.”
Bolstered by his answer, Mariana rolls over so she’s on top of him and adjusts herself, shifting her hips back against his – just close enough to elicit another string of enticing thoughts.
The firelight catches on her hair, in her eyes, against the skin of her chest.
“I’m going to need specifics, I’m afraid,” she says rearranging the sheets around herself in a less provocative way, noticing the way his eyes are tracing the column of her neck and rise of her chest.
“What?”
“Come on, don’t be greedy,” she giggles. “Tell me! When was the Ethan Ramsey driven to distraction?”
Ethan rolls his eyes, but the teasing smirk on his face eventually wins over.
“How am I supposed to pick just one time?”
Her jaw slacks in faux-shock, before breaking into a large grin.
“Oh yeah?”
“You’re not going to drop this, are you?”
Mariana ignores him, wiggling impatiently, excitedly, at this crumb of new information. For the sake of his blood pressure and his racing heart, he wishes she would just sit still.
She prods at his cheeks, teasing his face into a forced smile, coarse dark hair pickling the pads of her index fingers. She lights up, eyebrows raised attentively, curiosity tickling her.
“Was it when we performed the emergency thoracotomy? And I got blood all over my first pair of scrubs?” She jokingly flutters her dark eyelashes at him, almost comically so. Her own antics send her into a chorus of laughter.
Ethan mutters something under his breath that sounds like: “Heaven, help me,” but Mariana continues.
“Oh! Or was it when you told me my examination was ‘slow and superficial’ and chewed me out in front of everyone?” She taps a finger to her chin, humming thoughtfully.
Ethan exhales a loud, defeated sigh and sinks his head further into the pillow. He already knows this is going to take a while.
“Could it be…” Mariana trails off, “the time you were leading rounds and you basically asked me if I had anything to share with the rest of the class? So, I told you to stop being mean to the interns?”
He lets out a strangled laugh, revisiting the memory – he’d almost entirely forgotten the exchange and Ines’ worried expression darting between the two of them.
Mariana smiles at the reaction she pulls from him and drops her voice to a sultry purr. Her fingers walk their way up his chest before tracing the curve of his lower lip. Ethan’s eyes darken at the simple, coy movement.
“Was it when you saw me in Donhue’s wearing that little green number?”
“No, you were sexy at Donhue’s and I thought to myself I shouldn’t be describing an intern as sexy,” he voice is thick, deep with longing. “Then I watched you down that fifteen-year-old Macallan and I knew I was doomed.”
“I could have told you that,” she shrugs and the sheet slips off a shoulder— his eyes are automatically drawn to the smooth slope. The desperation heightens to shower her skin with hasty, open-mouthed kisses again.
“Okay. So, when was it?” The playfulness in her tone ebbs, tilting her head in genuine interest. “When did you first think I was cute?”
He releases another exaggerated breath, dragging the back of his knuckles against the edge of her collarbone.
“How about… all of the above?”
“That’s not an option,” she giggles, tickled by his featherlike touch. “And you’re a bad liar, Dr Ramsey.”
Ethan pauses his caresses, deep in thought, and chewing over his words – debating if he should share them at all.
But with the storm howling outside, and the warmth from the fireplace and Mariana’s body against his…he can’t think of many logical reasons why he shouldn’t.
He cups the side of her face, and she leans into it, eyes fluttering shut and humming softly at the welcomed heat.
“You were standing at the nurses’ station at the end of your first week,” he starts and it draws her attention back to his steely gaze. “Probably finishing up a fourteen-hour shift. I just arrived for the day and stopped by to pick up some case files. You didn’t notice me, but I saw you struggling to fill out something… a request for a CT scan or— I’m not sure... But your hair was all over the place and you were talking to yourself quietly— and I remember thinking... I wanted you to notice me.”
The palm she rests against his chest feels his heart kick a little wilder, and he swallows - traces of the memory attempt to pull Ethan away from the much more lucrative present.
Then her face pinches in disbelief.
“I don’t remember that.”
She sounds annoyed. And the combination of her expression and tone causes another rumble of laughter to escape Ethan. It makes his chest and, due to her current indecent position, Mariana to bounce.
She frowns. “No, I want a do-over.”
“A do-over?”
“Yes!” Mariana crosses her arms defiantly, although she’s laughing as she says it. “The first time you thought I was cute cannot be a crusted, fourteen-hour shift, no sleep, no shower, version of me. I’m taking my chances; I’d prefer it if you said it was when you saw me covered in thoracotomy blood.”
Ethan can’t stop laughing and it’s the only sound in the room rivalling the pitter-patter of ice hitting the window.
“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, Mariana,” he says with as much docility as he can muster to try to wipe the miffed look from her face. “I can’t help it if I found you incredibly endearing, sleep-deprived and confused over a request form— maybe that says more about me than it does about you.”
Once more, he cups the side of her face and she nuzzles into the warmth of his palm, displeased expression and all.
His thumb brushes the line of her lower lip and her breath hitches at the intensity he studies her with. His free hand snakes under the sheets and finds the curve of her hip, keeping her in place.
In one swift movement, the sheet unfurls around her and she shivers at the drastic temperature change. The only thing warming her is the fire slowly stoking inside her, simply from the way Ethan continues to regard her – fully bared before him and thrumming with need.
She tilts her face just enough to nip at his palm, before planting a soft kiss against it.
“If it’s any consolation,” Ethan hungrily drinks in her naked skin. She straddles him, illuminated only by the fireplace in a far off corner, hair tousled and lips still plump from their previous tryst. “This is a close second.”
--
Note: This conversation played out in my head this morning, so consider it exorcised from me. And no, Ethan. It’s no consolation, weirdo. This came this 👌 close to being smut. ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵇᵉ ᶜᵒʳʳᵉᶜᵗ ᶦⁿ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢᶦⁿᵍ ᴵ ᵗʳʸ ᵗᵒ ᶠᶦᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ “ᶠᵒᵘʳᵗᵉᵉⁿ ʰᵒᵘʳˢ” ᶦⁿᵗᵒ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸ ᶠᶦᶜ ʷʳᶦᵗᵉ. (Also, does this show up in the ethan ramsey tag at all?)
Anyway, back to stanning Bryce Lahela. 
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endlessnightlock · 12 days ago
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thank you for the fic rec. but using the word “bemoaning” in relation to people wanting non everlark stuff is pretty rude. again, thank you for the recommendation, but that did hurt reading your tags.
Ooops, sorry, anon. I didn't mean to be rude; I just have a habit of using strange word choices sometimes (thank my neurodivergent brain for that). I was kind of in a hurry when I reblogged that post this morning, and actually later, as I was driving in my car, I thought to myself, "bemoan might not have been the best word choice."
I really wasn't trying to be a jerk. Sometimes I'm just trying to be silly, and it doesn't translate online that right way. Anyway, I hope you give the story a chance and leave a comment if you enjoy it. I thought it was very cool.
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writing-with-olive · 7 months ago
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Using your world to develop character
Okay this stuff is pretty much all just surface-level stuff, so if you are in the drafting stages, you have my complete permission to ignore it (not that you need anyone's permission to do anything in your WIP).
Good? Good.
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The main thing about worldbuilding on the page is making it feel real, feel present for your reader. The main thing you'll hear is using your five senses. After all, they're how you experience the world in real life. And not only that, but unless your POV is very different from most things you'd experience on Earth, they're going to be naturally equipped with at least some of the five senses.
The trick here is that no one percieves the world in the exact same way. Sometimes, it's a difference in physical ability, such as if you're blind, you're not going to rely on sight, but a lot of it is about personal history and backstory. For example, I'm a swimmer. One of the most notable things (beyond the humidity) is the smell of chlorine. If I were somewhere and I smelled something similar, such as bleach, I might describe it similar to the smell of chlorine because that's what I'm used to. But say someone really never swims, and they're a janitor. They'd have the association of mopping floors, and swimming might never cross their mind when describing the smell. These associations will also have memories attached, and memories invariably come with some kind of emotion.
So the above example was pretty much the gist of my whole post, but I would like to go into a little more detail about how to a) figure out what’s worth describing, and b) how to describe it from the perspective of your POV.
An oft-cited guideline in writing is that each time you move to a new location, you have to set the scene. The extent of that set-up will vary based on how many times we’ve been to that place, and how observant your POV is. 
Regardless, there are a few pretty universal questions for setting each scene:
Has the POV been to this place before? If so, how much time have they spent here? This is going to influence a few things. First, if they’ve been here often, they’re likely going to gloss over the familiar, and focus in on anything that’s different or that’s changed. They’re also going to have more memories attached, meaning you have the opportunity to describe things through the context of those memories (”the windows were pristine as always. The pane Emerie had smashed with her textbook last summer was swiftly replaced - the evidence wiped away.”). Because they have memories of the place, they’re also going to have emotions surrounding it. These emotions are going to influence the comparisons they make and what they call attention to, as well as word choice. If they haven’t been here before, they’re probably going to be comparing it to places they have been, and memories and emotions are going to be based on those tangential experiences. 
What is their emotional and physical state going into wherever this place? If it’s their first time going into this place, their state will drastically alter their first impressions and how they describe whatever they notice (ie: word choice: are words veering positive or negative?). If they’ve been to the place before, their current state is going to color what they notice, but they’ll have a baseline. If there’s relatively muted emotions connected to the place, it might override those emotions. They might channel their emotion through their reactions to the place. For example, if they’re angry, they might be really pissed that the chairs were moved because they liked the original setup. If they’re excited, they might not be bothered by the usually annoying grey walls. If they’re exhausted, they might not notice as much. If they don’t want to be here, that’s going to make a big difference
Beyond that, things start to get more specific to the circumstances.
Consider the character themself:
What is the character’s reason for coming here? This will influence what they focus on.
Is there anything major on their minds? See above.
Where do they spend a lot of their time? What are some of the most memorable things from their life to them? What places have they been that were similar to the place they’re currently at? All of these will influence what comparisons and descriptions they’ll use to describe where they are.
Also, consider the details of the setting:
Where are things spacially?
What’s the color scheme? What is visible immedietly from where the characters are entering, or from where the narration starts? What do things generally look like?
What can be heard? Are some sounds almost too quiet to hear? what are the louder ones? What do the sounds sound like?
What smells are there? Is it a mix, or is it overwhemingly one thing? 
What about feel? What’s the air like? Is it warm or cold? Is there a breeze/air flow, or is it more still? What about textures?
If there’s something to taste, what is it? what does it taste like? Is there anything that might be described as taste, even if it isn’t really?
Even if you don’t use all of this detail when you’re setting up the scene (and you probably shouldn’t), it’ll give you good material to choose from to keep things interesting.
For the details you think your character would notice first, or at least notice and think were important, how would they personally describe it? Are they deeply familiar with that smell, or do they have to resort to something else from their life it reminds them from? Or is it so foreign they only have adjectives with no memory attached to it to describe it? Is it something they find uplifting, or is it foul? 
A final note is to think about words and/or lingo your character’s learned. If they’re specialized in an area, they’re probably going to have picked up field-specific words, and be able to call items associated with the field by their proper name without really thinking, or they may use slang. For example, my main character has been a part of a secret military branch, and refers to pretty much all non-military individuals as civilians as her go-to word. 
So. This has been long, but I figured I’d end with some actionable steps. Each time you set the scene, go through and see how you can personalize it specifically to your POV character. Think about their experience with each element you’re trying to describe, and think about what experience they have with that element already, and use word choice and/or small snippets of memory or opinion to describe it as your character would.
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