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inactivefollow-blog · 6 years

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Transphobic

I got called this without someone knowing why I was saying what I was, and my phone is being a prick and not letting me reply with what I was to say to the people saying it.

The posts I had typed up might show up later, they might not. Who cares, I'm making this master post to get it all out.

The post that got it started, on my end:

My response was to, in the same format, say how all people in the community are valid. They responded back about how derailing posts was ugly. My response was, in a less detailed way, how ignoring the rest of a community about sexual orientation and gender identity was rude because they chose to talk about only three (the more common ones households talk about too).

This was when the OP responded, still haven't been able to get it to load for me to read it but it says something about trans and nonbinary people having positive posts and something about being mad about that fact (?). I'll edit in a response once it loads up for me to read in full. I'm not mad about this response because I haven't been able to read it completely... That might change, that might not.

Edit: one primary thought I have is thank you for introducing me to a new term. For all my life, I have never read or hear enbyphobic/enbyphobia before and I'm glad you brought it to my attention.

My next thought is that I pretty much explained myself about how I responded fairly well in accordance to the other responder (below) that it fits with what OP had put.

Further response is, again, I wasn't using my full vocabulary due to not having slept just yet, even now but I've had time to actually think about my response and stare over what I've written to fix it. I apologise for how I came across and that it made you feel like I was attacking because of it simply being about what it was about.

Nonbinary, OP says in their response, and I will have to say you have taught me another aspect of something that I'm still learning about. I hadn't known that some trans people identified as nonbinary. My argument below still stands though, as not all nonbinary people are trans, and it is like you are validating only part of a whole group. And that's what makes me upset. Because not everyone knows all the terms, like myself. As such, only pointing out a few groups and calling them validated is wrong too. I give reason why below and don't feel like repeating myself.

But, and I have said this multiple times by now, am I sorry about how I came off. Normally I would either have left it at a reblog or I would have actually read your post without misunderstanding. I'm tired and disoriented because of something I ate (lovely isn't it?) and I have little excuse other than that.

But I will say that my misunderstanding was also a part of me being pissy over some things being said. I focused on the words gay and lesbian in the original post and I went off on a tangent, in my head at the start and then down below and in posts I mentioned above that led to this post, that was uncalled for. But I feel like it is still validated. Because what about nonbinary aces? Nonbinary polysexuals? Nonbinary bisexuals? Are they not valid too? Or is it because they don't really pick one gender (including gender fluid in this because I still see it as a gender identity) over another, or that they do but don't want much else but an emotionally intimate relationship, for themselves and in the general sense of the asexual definition?

Someone else responded though:

And while I'm not completely offended, gotta protect from phonics, I get that. What does have me offended though, is how they assumed.

I get how I came across. I do. Honestly? I'm pissed at myself as well, but having been vomiting since yesterday afternoon? Not really thinking about my vocabulary words and how I can use them.

But I initially responded to the first post because of my history. And that history involves only three parts of a community with more, officially or not, being talked about in full depth. Yeah, I heard about asexuals and pansexuals. But growing up? It was all about gays and lesbians and transgenders. I hadn't even known about nonbinary people being a thing outside of sci-fi movies. That came to light, for me, when my friend came out to me as asexual and we went into depth about what that meant and what else was out there in terms of sexualities and identities.

And last year, when I was fucking 17, when my friend and I had our conversation , was when I was given the opportunity to looking into terms that an initial Google search wouldn't have brought up. Like demigirl/woman. I'm nonbinary in the fact that I identify as a demigirl. And for the longest time, I thought poly was short for a relationship, and not a sexuality. Everyone I asked about it either thought I knew and made me feel stupid or knew it as only a relationship too. So imagine my surprise when I find out that it's an orientation too!

And imagine my surprise when I start looking into polusexual and realize that that is what I am!

And trust me, I've done blanket searches and have talked to people who are open about their orientations and identities and how they are allies. Demigirl/boy never came up. And polysexual? I don't think a good portion of my friends even knew about it either, and all I got in a blanket search was a definition for a poly relationship.

It's posts like the OP's that piss me off because I know I'm not the only one unaware of what's out there. Or if they do know, what it means in a specified manner that they can understand it.

And the OP chosing to only say how lesbians and gays and transgenders are the ones who are validated just, set me off. Because it's like saying aces aren't validated in how they don't involve sex in their lives as a constant factor.

I'm not transphobic, I'm someone who had to deal with feeling wrong in my own skin because other orientations and identities are not always talked about or validated. I'm someone who wants my friends, aces, transgender, nonbinary and all, to feel like they are just as validated as everyone else.

I regret how I responded, because it wasn't my full thoughts and it came off as, to someone, transphobic.

Because I'm not. I just don't like how only some orientations and identities are talked about like they are better or deal with more shit then the rest.

And so I'm not attacked for being indirect, I'll @ the two people I know are involved in this conversation as of my current knowledge.

@nb-leafeon

@howdyyloverss

(not showing up. My bad? I got blocked, is my guess?)

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