Tumgik
#eight perfect murders
melodysbookhaven · 7 months
Text
“Books are time travel. True readers all know this. But books don’t just take you back to the time in which they were written; they can take you back to different versions of yourself.”
Peter Swanson, Eight Perfect Murders
2K notes · View notes
cr3sh · 10 days
Text
eight perfect murders: book review (includes minor ? spoilers)
this book follows malcolm krenshaw, an owner of a bookstore by the name of 'old devils', who definitely has more than a story to tell. following the death of his wife, years later, an fbi agent comes to question him about a string of murders that seem to be happening, and they all seem to connected to a list he made with eight books he describes as the 'eight best ways to get away with murder'.
this is where the yellow brick gets a little bumpy. after realizing he might be considered a suspect for said murders, he begins his journey to find out who the real mastermind behind the crimes are. it makes you wonder, 'why would such an innocent and harmless list send poor old malcolm into a frenzy? is there more than what he is letting on?'
a lot of people believe this predicable, it wasn't as thrilling, it was slow paced, blah blah blah. to each their own, am i right? me personally, this book kept me on my toes. i was always wondering as time went on, would he get caught? would his secrets spill out? i mean, he did make some stupid decisions, especially including an old friend on the investigation, but he wanted to get there before the fbi did. he lived a somewhat normal and peaceful life, why should that end now? he's gotten far without the eye of the police on him, so why now? it's because of his companion.
in the book, a good friend of malcolm tells him, it's hard to commit a crime with another person, especially a stranger as you never know really know them. you don't know their thoughts, you don't know their feelings, you don't know if they're on the same wavelength as you, and it's obvious that's the play here. malcolm only wanted a spur of the moment 'get rid of the bad guy' kill whereas his unknown partner kept going. it was his pleasure. not only that, but he wanted to get closer with malcolm. he believed there was a connection due to the murders and he wanted that. he craved that. he needed it.
and the ending.. goodness, the ending. you think the partner was the plot twist? wait until you hear about his wife. i sat there in shock. it makes you look at him differently. you spend the entire book almost grieving with him, hurting every time his wife is mentioned, because it was a tragic ending, only to find out he's almost just as terrible as the man who strung his wife out on drugs. i understand him in a sense. i can see where his head was. i can see the mixture of emotions, the range of emotions he was going through, and i hate to say it, but i understand the impulse. it's something i wouldn't dare to see myself do, though.
overall, i'd give the book a four out of five. it is something that barely caught my attention in the beginning, but as the story progressed and i began to learn more and more about every detail, it drew me in. i recommend it for mystery / thriller / psychological readers!
0 notes
morganc89 · 18 days
Text
Eight Perfect Murders by Peter Swanson
This book was recommended by my boyfriend’s boss with a high endorsement—she read the book cover to cover in one sitting. It’s been a while since I’ve read this author’s work and with a rec like that, I couldn’t resist. Malcom Kershaw, the narrator and main character of this story, is an expert on mystery novels and sells them for a living, and years ago he made a simple blog post—a list of 8…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
somuchbooks · 1 month
Text
Book Review #3:
Tumblr media
Eight Perfect Murders by Peter Swanson
⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 to 4.5 out of 5)
Reading Time:
1/24/2024 - 1/25/2024
Notes:
I’ve read my share in murder mysteries and I always feel the need to share my thoughts on them whenever I finish. That being said, I think this book does a great job of following its plot. The concept of mimicking murders from famous murder mysteries has left me adding all of them that were mentioned in the book to my reading list. The narrator himself is unreliable, as he has just as many secrets and mysteries as the actual occurring killings. Nearly every chapter there is a new secret to be revealed, and this is a book that I used as an excuse to ignore all the responsibilities I had.
The way that Peter Swanson wrote this story was perfect for the plot, the characters, and the suspenseful mysteries presented in this book. I don’t enjoy the ending that much, but then again, with the way that the book was headed, I also couldn’t see it ending in any other way.
P.S - This book got me out of a reading slump, and I plan on getting it for a teacher of mine who just loves mysteries with all of his heart.
0 notes
counterfeit-stars · 1 year
Text
No matter how old I get or how many new interests I have, Viggo Mortensen will always be my number 1 crush, my only man ever
28 notes · View notes
lunarrolls · 8 months
Text
every so often i remember the hytroaga heartmoor heist and i fucking lose it. quintessential hells. these people are in their element when they have barely any idea what’s happening, are in imminent danger at all times, have both no plan and every plan at the same time, and are trapped in a place with looney tunes logic
12 notes · View notes
jesuisici33 · 1 year
Text
wow ok what a backstory for the cozy bookstore cat in the book im reading
4 notes · View notes
valeskafics · 2 months
Text
"The Chase" - Oliver Quick x Catton!Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
a/n: shoutout to @barbiedragon and @aemondsbabe for encouraging this nastiness 😈🩷
Summary: Now that Oliver's ensnared you in his web, he has no intention of ever letting you go.
TW: DUBCON, profanity, innuendo, she/her pronouns, afab reader, chasing, fingering, oral f receiving, semi public sex, allusions to murder, yandere behavior, p in v sex, unprotected sex, manipulation (duh it's oliver), elspeth lowkey being ignorant as fuck, reader is an adopted catton
Word Count: 2,000 words
Rating: 18+, MDNI
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Saltburn characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated 🩷
Tumblr media
Oliver knows that he has to have you the moment he sees you walk onto the Saltburn grounds. You’re stunning, intimidatingly so, and you carry yourself with a self-assuredness and confidence that even rivals Felix’s. You stroll in, throwing your arms around your brother and then your sister, a bright smile on your face as you tell them all about how your gap year has been. Farleigh rushes to embrace you next, and then finally your parents. Oliver watches as they all fuss over you, the shiny new toy, leaving him forgotten on the sidelines. It annoys him as much as it intrigues him. His interest in Felix is quickly shifting toward you, the youngest Catton. He soon learns that you’re adopted, hearing Elspeth mumble to herself as she tries to remember your country of birth.
“We adopted her from… Oh, Sudan? Cambodia? One of those third world countries. Maybe one of the ones that end with -istan.”
He sees the way you cringe at your mother’s ignorance before turning to him, giving him a quick hug, welcoming him to your family’s home. All thoughts of seducing Venetia, the eldest Catton, are quickly gone from his mind. No, not when you’re there.
You’re absolutely perfect for him.
After a night of drunken revelry shared between all of you, Oliver lays in wait on the deck. He knows you like going on a morning run around the Saltburn grounds - Farleigh was teasing you about it last night, after all, saying that you’d be too hungover to do it while Felix teased and said you’re a woman of principle and would never be able to live with yourself if you didn’t. Almost like clockwork, just around eight in the morning, he sees you jogging toward the mansion, your hair tied back, wearing a pair of running shorts and a sports bra, body glistening with sweat. His icy blue eyes trail over your form, taking in every inch of exposed skin as quickly and greedily as he can.
“Morning, Ollie,” you greet cheerfully, taking off your headphones, “You and the lads have any plans today?”
He shakes his head, gesturing for you to take a seat beside him, “No. Pretty chill day. Care to join me?”
“I would, but I’ve actually got plans,” you say apologetically, untying your hair and shaking it out, “Haven’t even gotten to see my mates yet since getting back.”
Oliver hides his disappointment well, giving you a charming grin, “Aw, you can’t even give me five minutes of your time?”
You giggle, a sort of girlish innocence about you that makes him want you all the more, “You’re here for Fel, not me. He doesn’t like it when V and I talk to his friends.”
“That overprotective of you two, huh?” He asks, leaning forward in his chair, elbows resting on his thighs as he arches a brow.
“Well, protective over his friends is more like it when it comes to V. She has a habit of sleeping with them,” you tell him conspiratorially, “With me, it’s just him being an annoying big brother even though we’re quite literally the same age.”
“Aw, that’s cute. He’s protecting his little sister,” Oliver grins, his voice deceptively innocent, “But I do still want those five minutes. Maybe we just don’t have to tell him?”
You bite your lip and Oliver can tell you’re weighing the pros and cons in your mind, whether talking to the cute new guy is worth pissing your brother off. He’s pleased when you decide that it is, taking a seat beside him, your knee grazing against his as you start the conversation in earnest.
“So you and my brother met at Oxford?”
Oliver nods, leaning toward you, close enough that he can smell your natural scent mixing in with the Coco Mademoiselle perfume you spritzed yourself with upon waking up, “Yes. Your mum mentioned that you took a gap year?”
You cross your legs, your foot brushing against his calf, the small action making his cock harden in his pants as you tell him, “I did. I went backpacking in Southeast Asia. Mum was pissed but Daddy told her it was my decision and mine alone. He just gave me the condition that I had to start uni this year.”
Daddy. He likes that. He likes that a lot. He urges you to continue telling him about your travels, listening intently, his blue eyed gaze boring into your own, making sure to make you feel like you two are the only people in the world. Like right now, you’re the only thing that matters to him. Like the ground beneath you could give way and he wouldn’t care because he’s so enraptured by hearing you speak about ancient temples and mango groves and elephant sanctuaries. Maybe it’s because you’re adopted and not completely a Catton, but Oliver senses something special about you.
And realizes how much easier a sweet little thing like you will be to manipulate rather than Felix.
Tumblr media
It’s so easy to catch you in the web he’s spun, especially when he tells you about his father’s death, the drugs, the money problems. You’re so sweet, pulling him into a hug, inviting him to watch a movie in your room after Felix has fallen asleep. And bit my bit, you reveal things about yourself to him too. The fact that you’ve never had a boyfriend because of your overprotective brother. That you’ve always felt inadequate when compared to your big sister. That you worry that your parents don’t truly see you as their child.
You lay together on the grass under the stars one night, turning on your side to face him as you whisper, “Sometimes I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met that’s really understood me. Bothered to see past the surface, you know?”
That’s when he kisses you for the first time, slow and sweet, making himself out to be the quintessential summer lover, wanting to be your first everything. Wanting to ingratiate himself so deeply into your life that you can’t imagine it without him.
Oliver often sneaks into your room to sleep beside you, the two of you talking late into the night, giggling about the most asinine of things. And you manage to keep Felix squarely in the dark about all of it. That is, until one night when you take things to the next level. Farleigh walks into your room unannounced, wanting to grab your iPod, but he sees your legs dangling over Oliver’s shoulders, your face twisted in ecstasy, hands grasping at his inky black locks as you grind yourself against his lips. Farleigh quickly leaves the room and informs your brother, who gives both of you a stern talking to.
But Oliver doesn’t let that deter him. All it does is make him stick a pair of your knickers in your mouth the next time so no one hears you.
He knows the good times are about to come to an end when Felix learns the truth of his circumstances. And he knows Felix must have told you. Your sudden change in attitude toward him is frustrating. You’re not cold or unkind. You’re just quiet. When he kisses you, you just turn away, saying you’re a bit tired.
Oliver needs to fix this.
Tumblr media
He seeks you out during the party your family throws for him, watching the way you rush toward the hedge maze, your hair flowing behind you, the angel wings that you wear matching with Felix sparkling under the light of the moon. You clearly want to get away from him, from everyone. But Oliver doesn’t care. He follows after you, grasping at the white fabric of your skirt, holding you in place. You freeze for a moment when you hear him call your name, only to wrench yourself away from him and break into a run.
“Wait!”
Oliver chuckles to himself, thinking that it’ll be nice to work up a bit of an appetite before he finally feasts on you, your footsteps echoing the farther you get from the party. He catches glimpses of you between the hedges. So irresistible, beautiful. So vulnerable. You may not want him after what you’ve learned, but really, that’s just a tiny complication. You’ve been his from the moment he laid eyes on you. And no one, not Felix, not Venetia, not Farleigh, no one is going to keep him from you.
Oliver has a plan. And he’s going to see it through.
He finally manages to catch up to you, lunging at you and grabbing you by the wrists. He pins you against one of the walls of the hedge maze, holding you in place as you thrash and squirm against him.
“Get off! Please!”
Please, you say. How sweet. How innocent.
How corruptible.
Oliver leans in to whisper in your ear, his breath tickling your skin, “No.”
His hands trace the curve of your hips, pulling your body flush against his. He sees the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the way your eyes go wide as he snakes his hand between your thighs, rubbing at you over the fabric of your underwear. He can see how you hate yourself for the way your body betrays you, the way your tight little cunt squeezes around his fingers when he pushes them inside you. When you try to close your eyes from the sheer shame of it, he bites down hard on your neck, a silent order to keep your gaze on his. Oliver keeps your wrists above your head as he fucks you with his fingers, your breath coming out as soft pants as you grind your hips downward. He hears you cry his name and he knows he’s found that sweet spot of yours. Oliver rubs at it furiously, watching as your lips fall open in a silent scream, your eyes rolling back as he continues, feeling you soak his fingers within moments.
Oliver gives you little time to rest before he’s unbuttoning his trousers, freeing his long, thick cock, the tip already leaking with evidence of his arousal. You look terrified and yet amazed at how big he is, and he can tell you’re wondering if he’ll even fit inside your sweet little virgin pussy.
“Don’t worry,” he coos, slapping the fat head of his cock against your clit, watching the way your body trembles, “I’ll make it fit.”
You gasp as he sheathes himself inside you. You’re so fucking tight, he thinks to himself as he grits his teeth, feeling your body pulsating around him. He can’t even fit all the way inside you, he muses, holding your hips in place as he slowly begins to fuck you. Your eyes water from the sting, but he watches the way your face twists, sweat beading at your temples as he fucks you. You like this. He can see it in your eyes.
The moon casts a shadow of the two of you on the ground. Oliver with his horns and you with your wings. The sight of it makes him want you all the more. Here he is, corrupting Felix’s little sister. The sweet little angel he’s wanted all summer. And you have no idea what his plans for you are. His plans to slowly but surely get rid of everyone around you until it’s just you and him.
You let out a quiet mewl of his name, bucking your hips, wanting to take him deeper, the tip of his cock brushing against your most pleasurable spot with every thrust. He drives into you harder, holding you in place by the hips. He fucks you like he hates you, he fucks you like he loves you, you don’t know.
All you know is you may not have wanted this, but now, you think you’d die if he stopped.
Oliver rests his forehead against yours, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.
The chase is over.
He has his prey.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
writing0305 · 4 months
Text
All he needed.
Pairing: Homelander x F!Reader.
Summary: After two years of being together, you dissapeared from Homelander's life. Vought had told him you killed yourself but one file left on his desk by someone unknown, told him a different story. And when he sought you out, he was surprised to see you alive and well, with an eight month old son, blonde hair and blue eyes, just like his father.
Warnings: Heavy swearing. Blood and murder. Mentioning of smut. Mention of suicide
You were with Homelander for only a short two years. But it was the best fucking two years of both your and his life. You adored Homelander before you even started working for Vought. You always offered him kind smiles when you saw him. And he could hear the way your heart skipped a beat when he was near.  You were taken with him from the start and he was taken with how much you adored him, how much you loved him.
Tumblr media
At first, Homelander would only watch you through the walls of your office. He could watch you for hours, but honestly, you never did anything exciting at work. So then he began watching you at home. He watched through your walls as you danced around in nothing but a shirt and panties while making dinner. He watched you dress, watched you bath, watched you whenever you pleasured yourself, and even watched you sleep.
He couldn’t get enough of it. Of you. And soon he was forcing his way into your life. He forced Stillwell to make you his personal assistant and you were all too happy for the job. He made sure you had to follow him around the whole day, except when he was out fighting crime. He made them move your office next to his own so that he could comfortably watch you through the wall.
And then one day he showed up at your apartment. He invited himself in, made friendly talk and even stayed for dinner. Being with him for your whole workday, made you two close, and then suddenly he was at your apartment every day after work. You got yourself into the habit of cooking for two and always having fresh milk in your fridge. He seemed to quite enjoy the beverage.
One night you admitted to having a crush on him when you were younger and not before long you were laying naked across the bed, being fucked senseless by the supe. Your relationship developed fast and strong after that. Homelander moved you into his penthouse in the Vought building, so you’d truly be around him nearly 24/7. This created a co-dependency for you.
To Homelander, it truly seemed like you enjoyed his company. You didn’t mind having him around all the time. You didn’t mind listening to him rant. You always praised him and agreed with him on everything. You were truly just perfect.
And then you just had to go and fucking kill yourself.
When the cops found your burned car, there was barely anything left to identify you with. That’s what Vought told Homelander. It was believed to be suicide because of the cans of gasoline that were found not so far from your car.
For a whole year and five months, Homelander mourned you. He was confused, heartbroken and angry. He didn’t understand why you had to leave him. Was he not good enough? Were you not happy? He gave you fucking everything and you just ripped his dead and cold heart right out of his chest.
That’s until one faithful day when things changed. He stepped into his office, finding a brown file on his desk. He sighed in irritation, thinking Ashley had dropped it off. He wasn’t even going to bother with it until he saw the red stamp on the file. ‘Highly confidential.’
His eyebrows furrowed and more irritation filled him. Was Ashely that fucking incompetent to leave a highly confidential file on his desk. He sat down and opened the file, eyebrows furrowing when he was met with your gaze. The photo pinned to the inside was not one he had ever seen before. Your hair was shorter than it was when you were still alive.
His eyes scanned over the file, reading only a few words that stuck out to him.  Two simple words struck something inside him. ‘ Witness protection.’ He read it over and over. Nowhere did it say why you were in witness protection, but it gave the exact date you entered the program through Vought. Exactly seventeen months ago.
He was raging by the time he reached Stillwell, who happened to have her infant son in the office with her. He demanded to know why they lied to him, where you were, and why you left. At first, she was reluctant to speak, but with one flick of his red eyes at her son and she began speaking. She told him where you were, but spun a story that you were scared of him and begged her to help you get away.
He didn’t buy it but soon he’d get his answers. Within minutes, he was in front of a cabin, tucked away far away in the middle of the woods. He stared at the house, noting the zinc inside the woods that obstructed his vision.
Inside, you were walking barefoot through the house, still in your pajamas. Your blond-haired blue-eyed  baby was in your arms, dressed in a blue onesie, his blue blanket in one hand and his dark red pacifier between his lips.
“Alright buddy, let’s get breakfast in that belly.” You coeed to Noah and the eight-month-old registered the word ‘food’, and an excited spark slipped into his blue eyes. You carefully placed him in his highchair and he grabbed for your shirt. “You can have milk after you’ve eaten.” You said you pulled his hands off your shirt before walking around the kitchen, serving him a bowl of yogurt with mashed banana.
You smiled at the baby when he grew even more excited when you brought the food over to him. You only got into feeding him a few bites before your front door was slammed open so hard that it ripped from the hinges and fell with a thud to the floor.
A gasp slipped from your lips at the sound and your eyes widened. Noah began wailing and you shushed him softly as you picked him, cradling his head against your chest. Your heart beated painfully in your chest as you heard the slow thuds of footsteps approaching down your hallway.
There was no back exit through your kitchen. There was only one way in and out, and that was through the same hallway the footsteps were approaching from. You slowly backed up as the footsteps grew closer, but you froze in your steps when a familiar tall and blonde supe stepped into your kitchen.
Your chest clenched at the familiar face blankly staring back at you. ”John?” You whispered as your eyebrows furrowed, confusion filling you just as much as it filled him. His gaze darted down to the baby in your arms, and his eyebrows knitted together. “Oh my God…” You let out a soft sigh, a relieved sigh. “You found me.” You said softly as the smallest smile tugged at your lips and tears filled your eyes.
“Y/n…” He whispered as he continued to stare at you with furrowed eyebrows. Stillwell’s story and your reaction to his presence didn’t match up.  “I…I don’t understand.” He muttered softly as his eyebrows furrowed even more. His gaze darted towards Noah when the baby sniffed softly, his blue eyes still full of tears. “Whose that?” He asked as he pointed at the baby.
“Noah.” You replied with a soft smile as you glanced down at your son, wiping his tear-stained cheeks. “Our son.” You informed Homelander as your gaze returned to him.
His eyes slightly widened as his gaze shot towards you. He was silent for a long while as he just stared at you. His head cocked to the side and he opened and closed his mouth for a second, unsure of what the fuck to say. He was silent for another second again. “Our…our son?” He repeated softly as his eyebrows furrowed.
You slowly nodded your head as your gaze diverted down to the floor, tears pooling in your eyes. “I’m sorry.” You whispered as you shook your head, your gaze returning to him. You loved Homelander with all your heart, but at that moment, you felt scared of him. Scared of his reaction.
“We have a son?” He repeated as he raised his eyebrows, slowly and hesitantly taking a small step towards you, his gaze darting down to Noah. “I have a son?” He whispered.
“Yeah.” You replied softly as you nodded your head and slowly approached him. When you stood toe to toe, Homelander hesitantly reached out and to the baby from your arms. He cradled Noah in his arms, staring down at the baby who was a mirrored image of him. The perfect creation of him. “I’m sorry.” You repeated as you lowered your gaze, wiping the tears from your eyes.
Homelander’s gaze returned to you. He silently stared at you for a long time, listening to your heartbeat. It didn’t sound like the heartbeat of a woman so scared she had to fake her death to get away. It sounded like the heartbeat of a woman broken.
“They told me you were dead…and then they told me you ran away because you were scared of me.” He informed you, eyeing your face closely to see your reaction. Homelander was so deeply hurt by everything he had found out in the past few hours. He didn’t know who or what to believe.
You looked shocked at this, your eyebrows furrowing and your lips parting as your gaze darted towards him. “They told you that?” You asked softly as your gaze darted around, slowly shaking your head in denial.
“Why did you leave?” he asked, and you could hear a hint of anger slip into his voice. Anger towards you. Because for what fucking possible reason could you have left him for. “Why did you leave with my son?” He asked as his eyebrows furrowed, his gaze darting down to Noah.
You sighed softly, sitting down at the kitchen island, running a hand through your hair. “I was going to tell you I was pregnant when I found out.” you began speaking. “Somehow Vought found out and found me before I could get to you. They didn’t want you to know because they were scared your priorities wouldn’t be them anymore.” You explained as you turned your head to look over at him. “They gave me three options. They kill me before I get the chance to tell you. They keep me locked up until I give birth and take the baby, raising him like you were, and threatened to kill me if I told you. Or I leave, live in isolation with my baby.” You informed him and his lips twitched into a snarl as his grip gently grew tighter on Noah. “I know how much you suffered…I couldn’t do that to him.” You said softly with a shake of your head as you glanced at Noah.
“Vought…Vought made you do this?” He questioned softly, his voice a low growl and his eyes briefly flicking red as his gaze diverted away from both you and Noah.
You nodded your head and he inhaled sharply. “I’m sorry.” You whispered as you got up to your feet and slowly approached him, gently placing a hand on his muscular bicep and he slightly relaxed underneath your touch. You didn’t leave because you were scared of him. He just knew that was fucking bullshit.  “I wanted to tell you, I wanted you to be part of it, of everything, my pregnancy, the birth, his life. All of it.” You whispered as your gaze turned to Noah and you ran a hand through his blonde hair. He was quite peaceful in his father’s arms.
“They said…they said you left because you were scared of me,” Homelander muttered in a low voice, and you could still hear the hint of anger. But his anger wasn’t directed at you anymore. Now it was directed at Vaught and every fucked who lied to him. “They said you wanted them to fake your death.”
“No.” You immediately denied it with a shake of your head as you reached out to cup his cheek in one hand. “I loved you…I still love you.” You whispered as he leaned into your touch. You sighed softly and your gaze flicked towards Noah for a brief second again. “I tried to take him and leave when he was a few weeks old, to go and find you.” You inform Homelander in a soft voice. “So many men with guns showed up. They didn’t point their guns at me to get me to come back, they pointed their guns at him.”
Homelander’s lips twitched into a snarl again as he thought of his son being put in danger. He didn’t care if the kid had powers or not, he fucking despised the thought of anyone even thinking of hurting his son. First, they wanted to fucking take him away from his mother, raise him in a fucking lab, then they DID take him away from his father and pointed guns at him. Someone was going to fucking die today.
“Who knew?” He asked in a low voice. You looked at him hesitantly. His voice was trembling with anger and his blue eyes flicked red again, like a broek light flicking on and off, constantly. It was like he had no control, or he was dangerously close to losing it.
You breathed deeply, hesitant to tell him. You knew he was close with Stillwell because he had her pressed nice and firmly underneath his thumb. “Stillwell.” You whispered and he inhaled sharply again. “She gave the orders, made the threats.” You informed him and Noah was immediately shoved into your arms. “John?” You muttered in confusion as he spun on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen. You hastily followed after him as he stormed out through the broken door and flew off. “John!?”
You let out a soft sigh as he disappeared into the sky. You felt confused, wondering where he was heading. Surely he wouldn’t kill Stillwell. Were you and a kid he’d just met a few minutes ago truly more important to him than a woman he’d worked with for years, a woman who gave him whatever he wanted and always had his back?
You waited there by the broken front door for a long time before you went back into the kitchen, calling the men who patrolled around the woods like guards, keeping you and Noah in like caged animals, but no one answered. You were supposed to always call them if you needed something but after five missed calls you figured you'd have to fix the door yourself.
You finished feeding your son and got him dressed in a saige colored green shirt and brown overalls before you dressed yourself in a plain blue t-shirt and some black leggings.  You sat on the steps of your front porch, silently staring at the broken door. Noah sat a few inches away from you, playing with his toys.
He crawled his way toward you, dumping a few pieces of his toys on your lap. He leaned against your thigh as he played, using your legs as a play area. You smiled down at the boy, running a hand through his hair. “It’s okay buddy.” You whispered. “Me and you, we’re gonna be okay no matter what happens.” You assured him.
There was a loud woosh in the air, followed by a thud on the ground, your head shot towards the side, eyes widening at the sight of Homelander, standing a few feet away from you, covered in blood from head to toe. The sight made you gasp.
You slowly got up to your feet and picked Noah up in your arms. “John…” You whispered as you slowly approached him, lips parting as your gaze drifted over the bloody man before you.“Who?” You asked softly, knowing not a drop of the blood that covered him, was his.
“Stillwell.” He muttered in a low voice as he blankly stared ahead of him, his eyes looking dead.
Stillwell was already writing a form of resigning and packing her bags when Hoemalnder found her. He could have made it quick for her, lazering her head in. But he made it as painful as possible. He dragged it out for as long as she could take before she choked on her own blood. When he left her house, Madelyn Stillwell was barely recognizable. She was scorched into almost nothing.
You slowly nodded your head. You shifted Noah onto one hip and with your free hand, you placed a hand on Homelander’s shoulder, almost flinching at the wet and cold patch of blood that stuck to his suit, smearing onto your palm. “Let’s go inside.” You insisted as you let him inside. “You can clean up in the bathroom.”
You washed your hand, scrubbed it until the skin was burning and red then you waited in the living room as Homelander cleaned himself in the bathroom. Noah was sitting on the floor, nibbling on one of his toy cars.
You glanced up when you heard Homelander’s footsteps approaching. He was clean now, his blonde hair damp. His face was blank as he sat down on the couch opposite yours. Noah’s attention was drawn to Homelander and he abandoned all his toys and crawled towards his father.
Homelander stared at the baby who now sat by his feet. He was unsure of what to do when Noah lightly slapped his leg. Hesitantly he reached out and picked up his son, resting Noah on his lap. Noah’s interest immediately went to Homelander’s cape, pulling and biting at the fabric. Homelander didn’t even care about the drool now on his cape. He watched his son in awe.
You slowly got up from the couch you sat on and moved to sit next to Homelander. “I’m sorry.” You whispered as you looked at him, a frown tugging at your lips. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t let them do to him what they did to you.” You muttered softly as you shook your head.
“You’re a good mother, Y/n,” Homelander replied as he wrapped one arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side. You leaned into his touch like you always used to do. It brought strange emotions forth in Homelander. Having a woman who loved and adored him and a son. A fucking family. HIS family. “He’s lucky to have you.”  He said softly as his gaze turned to Noah.
“Now he has you too.” You whispered as you turned your head to look up at Homelander, his gaze never leaving Noah. Never had you seen the man so much in awe of something or someone. Your gaze also turned to Noah and you pursed your lips. “They ran tests on him when he was born.” You informed him softly and he tensed up for a second until you continued speaking.  “He’s like you, but he hasn’t shown any of his powers yet.” You explained as you looked back at Homelander again. “He’s a real gentle kid actually.” You said as a smile tugged at your lips.
A smile tugged at Homelander’s lips as well. He felt proud knowing his kid was like him. He turned to look back down at Noah again, gently running a hand through the baby’s hair. “He looks so much like me…” He noted softly as he let out a soft, pleased huff.
“He does.” You agreed with a nod of your head. “I took so much comfort in that.” You admitted softly as you smiled sadly. For the past eight months, Noah was all you had of Homelander. Of the man you loved with all your heart.
“Vought’s not going to hurt you or our son.” Homelander assured as his hold on you tightened and he pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “And they won’t take either of you away from me ever again.” He promised softly as he leaned his head against yours.
After fixing your front door and informing you that all the guards around the woods were dead, Homelander spent the entire day playing with his son. They played with toy supes, and cars, watched cartoons together, and played a little outside. After eating dinner and getting a bath from his father, Noah was beyond tired. You let Homelander put the baby to bed. It was the least you could give him after he missed eight months of his son’s life.
You sat in the living room, looking up when Homelander returned to you. “He sleeping?” You asked softly as he sat down next to you, shifting to lay his head on your shoulder as he closed his eyes.
“Yeah.” He replied softly as he slowly nodded his head.
 “You really knocked him out.” You said softly as you let out a soft chuckle, a smile tugging at your lips as you leaned your head against his.
“I couldn’t let him go.” He spoke softly as he inhaled slowly. “I just wanted to spend every single second with him.” He said as he turned his head to look up at you, his face barely an inch away from yours.  “I’ve missed so much.” He whispered.
You sighed softly, reaching out to brush your finger across his cheek. “Now, we all have so much time together.” You whispered as you offered him a small smile, cupping his cheek. “I’ve dreamt of this day for so long.” You admitted. “Wondering how it would be if you found us…meet him.” You muttered before sighing again. You silently stared at him for a second before resting your forehead against his. “I love you, John.”
“I love you.” He replied as he reached up to cup your cheek as well before pressing his lips against yours in a yearning kiss. Now he had all he ever wanted. A family. A son. And a woman who loved him. He had it all. All he needed. And fucking pray for anyone trying to take it from him again.
796 notes · View notes
coryosmin · 27 days
Text
Late Nights In The Office - Lawyer Coriolanus Snow x Secretary/Assistant Reader
summary: coriolanus is caught up in a case and ends up staying late. but whenever coriolanus stays late, his assistant and secretary does too. some late night work turns into something else when reader buys coriolanus dinner.
warnings: nsfw, mdni, unprotected sex, p in v, oral (f), fingering (f), pussy drunk coryo, praise kink, etc.
word count: 3,600
Tumblr media
Being a secretary and personal assistant to Coriolanus Snow, your hours strongly depended on his. Truthfully, he was a workaholic. Being a lawyer, he constantly ensured perfection to all of his work no matter the case he received. And this case was no different. He was filing paperwork, gathering the evidence to defend a man who was wrongfully convicted of a murder he did not commit. Coriolanus was always a hard worker. He dedicates himself wholeheartedly to the things he is passionate about and that was one of the many things you admire about your boss.
Coriolanus was known to be many things around the office. Working for the Plinth Legal Services alongside Strabo Plinth and Sejanus Plinth, Coriolanus Snow was known for being a hardass. He was usually hard on his employees, expecting nothing else but perfection at all times. More often than not, he’s categorized as rude. However, to you, he’s anything but. Perhaps it’s the fact that you make sure you do your job perfectly. It’s the perfectionist in you that allows you to ensure all documents are filed and organized to Coriolanus’s liking or perhaps that you’re the only one who has memorized his coffee order (It’s strangely very specific). Coriolanus was kind to you, respected you, even flirted with you. And you didn’t dislike it.
You sat at your desk, typing up Coriolanus’s schedule for the next day in Microsoft Excel as you glanced at the time. It was already past the time you usually went home as the time was hitting seven p.m. You frowned, realizing that Coriolanus likely didn’t even notice the time yet. You got up out of your chair, soothing out your pencil skirt before making your way to Coriolanus’s office. Your heels clicked on the tiled floor as you walked. You knocked on the door, popping your head in to see Coriolanus wearing his reading glasses as he read the documents from the case.
“Yes?” He asked without looking up, keeping his attention on the file.
You stepped into the office. “It’s already seven p.m, sir,” you said, looking at the blond.
Coriolanus looked up from the file to the clock on the wall, looking at the time. “Oh,” he said before looking at you. “I just have a few more pages to read and then we’ll be out.” He said with a small smile.
You smiled back, nodding your head. “Alright,” you said. “Do you need anything?”
Coriolanus shook his head. “Not at the moment, no,” he said.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” and with that, you walked out of his office and back to your desk, going back to what you were doing before.
As the clock turned from seven p.m to eight p.m and then eventually to nine p.m, you sighed. At this rate, there was no telling at what time you’d be going home. And neither of you had eaten dinner yet. So you took it upon yourself to order food. You ordered takeout from Coriolanus’s favorite Italian restaurant, getting him his favorite chicken francese while you ordered yourself chicken alfredo. The food arrived within forty minutes, making it about ten p.m by the time you could have dinner.
Holding the food in hand, you walked to Coriolanus’s office and knocked on the door. “Come in,” came the muffled reply of Coriolanus’s voice.
You opened the door with the bag of food in hand. “You haven’t eaten dinner yet,” you said softly, looking at Coriolanus. “And it’s already ten p.m. I think it’s time you take a break, sir,” you exclaimed.
Coriolanus took a deep breath as he glanced at the clock and then back at you. As if on cue, his stomach growled, causing him to let out a breathless chuckle. He took off his reading glasses, placing them on his desk before standing up and stretching. “I suppose you’re right,” he said, walking over to the couch in his office. “Did you order yourself something as well?” He asked as he took a seat.
You nodded your head, placing the bag on the coffee table in front of the couch. “With your card, too,” you grinned, taking the containers of food out of the bag. You handed Coriolanus his meal. “Got you your usual,” you said. “I’ll leave you to it,” you said, grabbing the bag that still had your food in it and turning around to leave.
Coriolanus grabbed your hand, stopping you. “Stay,” he said, letting go of your hand and patting the seat next to him. “Eat with me?”
You bit your lip, nodding your head before placing the bag back onto the coffee table and taking a seat next to Coriolanus on the black leather couch. The two of you ate together. It was awkward at first, the both of you not knowing quite what to say. Until Coriolanus said, “You know, with a highly intelligent woman such as yourself, I wonder quite often why you’re nothing but a mere secretary.”
You were chewing as Coriolanus spoke, swallowing before replying. “Aren’t you glad that I’m your secretary?” You asked, tilting your head as you looked at Coriolanus.
Coriolanus nodded his head, cutting his chicken. “I am very grateful,” he exclaimed. “You’re the only person to ever do anything correctly,” He said with a slight annoyed tone as he thought about the incompetent people within the office. “But isn’t there anything else you’d rather be doing?” He asked, glancing at you.
You took a deep breath, shrugging your shoulders. “I’m not entirely sure, truthfully,” you replied, looking at Coriolanus. “I like what I do, even if I don’t have much of a social life because of it,” you teased, giving Coriolanus a small smile.
You and Coriolanus continued talking, learning more about one another. When the clock hit twelve in the morning, you realized that rather than getting work done, the two of you spent the past two hours doing nothing but talking. “Oh, it’s very late now,” you exclaimed, looking at the clock with a smile on your face. Coriolanus too had a genuine smile on his face, something he didn’t often do.
Coriolanus hummed in agreement. “I suppose it is,” he said, adjusting himself so he sat a bit closer to you. “However, I must say, I’ve been enjoying this time with you.”
You nodded your head in agreement. “I’ve been enjoying it too, sir,” you said softly.
“Coriolanus, please,” Coriolanus murmured into your ear. “When it’s just you and I, I’d rather you call me Coriolanus.” He whispered. He was close enough that you could feel his breath on your skin as he spoke to you.
“Okay, Coriolanus,” you whispered back, turning your head to look at him. Your faces were mere inches away from one another, just one movement and your professional relationship would be completely ruined. Your cheeks reddened at the close proximity, turning your head away and looking down at your lap.
Coriolanus, however, put his fingers underneath your chin, turning your head to face him. You looked into his blue eyes as he looked into your shiny ones. And without saying anything, he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss onto your lips. You froze, unsure of how to react. Your boss was kissing you. The logical side of you should pull away and scream “what the fuck” but the woman in you is screaming to kiss him back.
After all, Coriolanus Snow is indeed an attractive man.
After a few moments, you relaxed, kissing Coriolanus back just as gently. Your lips moved in sync with his as your eyes fluttered shut. Coriolanus cupped your right cheek while his other hand went to your waist. Your right hand rested on his shoulder while your other hand made its way to his hair, entangling your fingers in his golden locks. Eventually the kiss got heated as Coriolanus pushed you gently onto the couch cushions, laying down on top of you as the two of you continued kissing. He kissed you with more heat, biting down on your bottom lip slightly. You let out a soft gasp and Coriolanus took that as an opportunity to let his tongue explore your mouth.
Coriolanus’s hand slowly traveled up your body and to your chest, massaging your right boobs through your blouse. You let out a soft moan in the kiss, feeling your arousal pool in your panties. Coriolanus pressed himself against you. You could feel his bulge through his trousers on your thigh as he kissed you. He pulled away from the kiss to press a trail of kisses from your jaw to your neck. Coriolanus’s hand moved back down your body and underneath your skirt. You bit your lip, letting out a soft moan when his fingers found your clothed pussy.
“You’re so wet,” he murmured against your skin, his fingers beginning to rub circles on your clothed clit. “Soaking through your panties.”
You let out a shaky breath, nodding your head. “Yeah,” you replied, looking at Coriolanus. This should be wrong. He’s your boss and you’re his secretary. But how could it be so wrong when it feels so good? Coriolanus pulled your panties to the side, running a finger up and down your slit to spread your wetness around before inserting a finger inside of you. You bit your lip to avoid making sounds. Truthfully, you were a little embarrassed about how compliant you’re being under Coriolanus’s touch. Shouldn’t you be fighting it?
Truthfully, you’ve been wanting this for a while. Coriolanus was a very attractive man. Being 6’0, blond, a skinny but athletic build, you couldn’t help but be physically attracted to the man. Not to mention, his personality wasn’t so bad either when you get to know him. Yes, he’s absolutely a dick to everyone he knows, including to Sejanus who’s his best friend. But he was always so kind to you. Or at least what can be considered kindness in his eyes. So maybe you have always had a crush on your boss. But how could you not?
Coriolanus thrusted his finger in and out of you gently. You held back a moan, not wanting to make any noise. Coriolanus kissed your neck as he fingered you, adding a second finger and curling them inside of you. You inhaled sharply, biting back a moan. “Don’t be shy, darling,” Coriolanus murmured in your ear. “Want to hear those pretty noises,” he said as he sped up his movements with his fingers, hitting that spongy spot repeatedly. Unable to help yourself, you moaned, cheeks flushing in embarrassment from your noises. “So good,” Coriolanus cooed before sucking on your pulse point.
The office was filled with the sounds of your moans and the squelching of your pussy as Coriolanus fingered you. You could feel yourself getting close, arching your back in the process. “So close,” you said, practically whining.
Coriolanus smirked against your skin as he pulled his fingers out of your cunt, causing you to whine at the loss of contact. “I want to taste you,” Coriolanus breathed out, pressing a kiss onto your lips. He undid the buttons on your blouse, revealing your black lace bra. You watched Coriolanus as he took in the curvature of your breasts, admiring your form. “So beautiful,” he murmured, taking your shirt and tossing it to the side. Coriolanus licked his lips as his hands made their way to your skirt, hiking it up enough to reveal your matching black lace panties. He moved down your body so that his face was near your thighs as he hooked his fingers underneath the fabric of your panties, pulling them down. Coriolanus let out a shaky breath as he saw your glistening pussy. He took your panties off of you, stuffing them into his trouser pocket as he spread your legs.
“Gonna make you feel so good,” Coriolanus said, licking his lips in anticipation. His eyes were fixated on your pussy, as though already drunk.
“Please,” you said, biting your lip.
And without any further hesitation, Coriolanus took your “please” as a signal to dive right in. He immediately buried his face into your cunt, licking a stripe from your hole to your clit before assaulting your clit with his tongue. Unable to help it, you moaned loudly, bringing a hand down to grip Coriolanus’s curls, tugging on them. Coriolanus let out a moan against your pussy, sending vibrations through you.
The blond sucked and tongued at your clit, eating you out messily but oh-so-good. You relished in the feeling, not a single thought in your brain other than about Coriolanus’s skilled mouth against your cunt. Coriolanus’s tongue dipped into your hole, his nose rubbing against your clit. You moaned loudly, grinding your hips against Coriolanus’s face. “Oh my god,” you moaned, your eyes fluttering shut. You could feel your orgasm approaching quickly as you arched your back and threw your head back in pleasure. And soon, your thighs were clamping around Coriolanus’s head as you came undone on his tongue. Coriolanus groaned against your pussy, eating you out through your orgasm.
And when you finished, you relaxed against the cushions of the leather couch. Coriolanus pulled away from your cunt, his lips and face glistening from your juices. His eyes were displayed and glossy, most definitely drunk off of the taste of your cunt. He stood up, his bulge very prominent in his black trousers. “You taste so good,” he said thickly, looking at you.
You breathed heavily as you came down from your high, looking up at Coriolanus. “Uh…” you began, unsure of how to respond. “Thank you,” you said shyly.
Coriolanus smirked as he reached up to unbutton his button-up shirt. “I’m not done with you yet though.”
You couldn’t help the grin forming on your face as you looked at your boss. “I didn’t expect you to be,” you replied.
Coriolanus finished unbuttoning his shirt but kept it on, revealing his well-toned chest. You bit your lip as you looked at him. He then unbuckled his pants, unzipping them and pulling them down along with his boxers, revealing his large red and angry cock. Your eyes widened at how big Coriolanus was. You’re obviously weren’t a virgin. However, all of your sexual partners were not as largely endowed as Coriolanus was. Noticing you staring at his cock, Coriolanus spoke, “Everything okay?”
Your gaze moved from his cock to his eyes as you processed what Coriolanus had asked. “Huh? Oh. Yes,” you said, swallowing. “You’re just much bigger than what I’m used to,” you said shyly.
Coriolanus smirked. “I’ll take that as a compliment then,” he said, making his way over to you. “Will I still be able to fuck you?” He asked softly, making his way back onto the couch and crawling on top of you.
You nodded your head. “Yes,” you murmured, looking up at Coriolanus with doe eyes.
Coriolanus smirked back, pressing a kiss onto your lips. “Good,” he said as he reached between your bodies, gripping his cock and guiding it to your pussy. He rubbed the tip along your cunt, spreading your wetness around. You let out a shaky breath as his cock rubbed your clit. Coriolanus let out a soft groan as he moved his cock to your hole, slowly easing himself inside of you. There was a slight stretch, causing you to whine a little bit. He was bigger than what you’re used to so it hurt a little bit. When Coriolanus bottomed out, he stayed still, gently kissing your lips.
You kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. Coriolanus stayed still for a few minutes as you adjusted to his size and when he felt you relax, he slowly moved his hips. He pulled away from the kiss to look at you. Your pretty face was looking up at him as he moved his hips slowly. “Truthfully, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while,” Coriolanus murmured, dipping his head into the crevice of your neck.
You let out a soft moan as Coriolanus began moving his hips, wrapping a leg around him. “Been wanting this for a while too,” you sighed, closing your eyes as your hand made its way to his curls, entangling your fingers in his hair once more. Coriolanus let out a shaky moan, moving his hips faster as he got into a rhythm. You both let out moans as he moved.
“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby,” Coriolanus said, kissing your neck. “Clenching me so good,” he said, burying his cock deep inside of you with each thrust.
You moaned, your eyes fluttering shut as you relished in Coriolanus’s big cock deep inside of you. It felt so good to finally be stretched out so well. “You feel so good,” you said, pressing a kiss onto Coriolanus’s shoulder.
For what was supposed to be just a hookup with your boss, it certainly seemed much more intimate than it should be.
Just as you thought that, Coriolanus pulled back, pulling out of you completely. “Stand up for me,” he said as he got off of you. Confused, you stood up. Your pencil skirt was still hiked around your waist and your bra was still on. Coriolanus sat down on the couch, motioning for you to sit on his lap. You complied, sitting down on Coriolanus’s lap. He wrapped an arm around you, using his other hand to grip his cock and insert himself back into your pussy.
You both moaned as you sunk down onto his cock. And when he was fully inside of you, you took it upon yourself to start riding him. You bounced your hips up and down slowly, your hands resting on Coriolanus’s shoulders for stability. Coriolanus’s hands gripped your ass, kneading at the flesh as you rode him. “Doing so good, darling,” Coriolanus groaned, closing his eyes in pleasure. “So fucking wet.”
Coriolanus’s cock, in this angle, was going inside of you deeper. You whined at the pleasure, loving the feeling. “So deep,” you said, bouncing your hips a bit faster.
Coriolanus opened his eyes to look at you. You looked so beautiful riding his cock. With your cheeks flushed, lips plump, whiny from his length inside of you, your tits bouncing in the confines of your bra, threatening to spill out. He couldn’t help but meet your movements with his own thrusts, holding onto you. He began thrusting into you, causing you to moan loudly. “You’re so beautiful,” he groaned, reaching up your back to undo your bra skillfully. The material fell forward off of your shoulders and onto Coriolanus. He grabbed the bra and tossed it aside, looking at your tits bouncing with each thrust.
As Coriolanus began thrusting up into you, you leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. He moved his hips hard and fast, making you unable to hold back your almost obnoxiously loud moans. Thankfully, no one else was at the office.
“Good girl,” Coriolanus moaned. “Taking me so good,” he said, breathless as he fucked up into you. “Your cunt was made for my cock, hmm?”
“Yes!” You moaned out. “Love how good it feels.” You could feel your orgasm approaching quickly as Coriolanus’s cock kept thrusting into that spongy spot of yours.
Coriolanus licked his lips, grabbing one of your boobs and massaging the flesh. “You close?” He asked. “Tightening around my cock so beautifully. I’m close too, baby,” he said, pressing a kiss onto your lips. “Gonna let me cum in that pussy of yours?”
“Yes, please,” you whined at the idea, grateful you were on birth control because you wanted nothing more than to be filled up with Coriolanus’s cum. “So close, Coryo,” you said.
“Oh I know, baby, I know,” he said, thrusting his hips a bit faster. “You can do it, you can cum on my cock like a good girl.”
And with a loud whine, you came a second time that night, moaning loudly as you arched your back. Your body was shaking as you came, your pussy gushing around Coriolanus’s cock. After a few more thrusts, Coriolanus came inside of you with a loud groan, filling you up with ropes and ropes of his cum. When you both came down from your highs, you slid off of Coriolanus’s cock, sitting down next to him on the couch as you both stared at the ceiling, basking in the post orgasmic glow.
When you both calmed down, Coriolanus turned his head to look at you and you turned your head to look at him. Neither of you spoke as you just let out soft chuckles at one another.
The following morning at work happened as normal as could possibly be. You had arrived to work as though absolutely nothing had happened. And when Coriolanus arrived, he acted as though nothing had happened. You both had gone along with your days. That was until around lunch time when you received a note from Coriolanus that wrote “Let me take you out on a proper date tonight for dinner, my treat. We’ll go after work. Come to my office with your response. - Coriolanus”
It was safe to say that Coriolanus Snow most definitely took you out to dinner at a very high end restaurant. Which most certainly led to him taking you home that night and fucking you so good that you were able to see stars.
488 notes · View notes
melodysbookhaven · 5 months
Text
“She rarely talked, and when she did, it was only about books.”
Peter Swanson, Eight Perfect Murders
365 notes · View notes
highpri3stess · 1 month
Text
Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa
Tumblr media
Chapter 2: Shots Fired
Tumblr media
pairing: Mikey Sano x Fem Reader x Izana Kurokawa
series summary: Your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. And now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.
chapter summary: izana kurokawa decides he has to teach you a bitter lesson that you wouldn't forget any time soon
chapter warning: 18+ dark content, misogyny, religious themes, smoking, mention of drugs, brief description of child abuse, childhood trauma and sex work, violence (against both character and reader), emotional incest, night terrors, allusions to sex, sexual harrassment, mention and brief description of rape, asphyxiation (non sexual), manipulation, slut shaming, near death experience, sexual assault, noncon, oral (m.recieving), face and throat fucking, attempted murder
Please read ending credits for important annoucement
wc: 7.5k
masterlist||chapter 1||chapter 3
Tumblr media
  IZANA mindlessly fiddled with his lighter as he leaned on the wall, waiting diligently for Emma.
Unlit cigarette between his lips, his purple eyes scanned the people leaving the English department one by one, hoping to find a mop of golden hair amongst the students. A small vivienne Westwood shopping bag hung between his fingers loosely, perched beside his faded out black jeans. There was no way that Emma would avoid him in public at least, not with the entire student population watching the both of them. He knew that his little sister hated being the subject of rumors, no matter how trivial it could be.
His plan has to work. It just has to.
Whatever bullshit Mikey was spewing about you being the key to getting Emma to speak to him, can go to hell. He and Emma had a strong bond that transcended anything casual. This was his little sister he watched for the first eight years of his life, a bond doesn’t just break like that. Not over a stranger.
Not over you. Over your dead body.
A few minutes passed and still no sign of Emma. Deciding that he didn’t want to stand around and gape like a moron, Izana lifted his lighter towards his cigarette, flicking the light twice and bringing the warm flame to his lips. Breathing in the familiar scent of nicotine, smoke filled his lungs as he tucked the lighter back in his pockets. His free hand took the cigarette from his lips and he exhaled, releasing plumes of smoke from his lips.
His smoking habit had gotten worse within the past week. Izana couldn’t help it, reaching for a light anytime he saw his gifts in the dustbin. Emma hasn’t been this angry at him for more than a day before, usually a new plushie was enough to wash his sins clean, no matter how grevious they were. Now, not even the most expensive shoes she’s been eyeing for months could satiate her anger.
All because of you.
Izana knows his little sister like the back of his hand. Like how she loved sleeping with plushies because it comforted her whenever their mother brought men into the house and they were loud. Or how he picked up a guitar to learn multiple barbie songs because their mother had destroyed Emma’s CD that he bought with his money to punish her. He knew she liked warm tea during her periods and gentle back rubs to ease her pain.
Izana knows he’s not the best person to be around. Emma may have been young when she left their mother’s home, but Izana had stayed there until his teens before going to the orphanage, enduring unimaginable horrors. Life hardened him, made him so jaded that the only thin thread connecting him to his humanity was Emma.
And little by little, his humanity was slipping away.
First it was Mikey’s stupid friend, Ken Ryugi, who waltzed his way into Emma’s life. Izana didn’t like him one bit- didn’t like how Emma would bite her lip, waiting for him to reply and cry herself to sleep when he didn’t. Her heart was soft, fragile and that brute tore it apart by telling her he wasn’t interested in a relationship yet. The only reason Ken wasn’t in an unmarked, shallow grave in the middle of nowhere was simply because Mikey was involved.
Now it was you. Taking the space in her life that belonged to him and him only. He was fine sharing with his younger brother, no matter how much that little shit pisses him off but now, you’re pushing both of them out of the equation. How could someone so insignificant be so important to his sister?
He took more puffs, letting the smoke out through his mouth. He skimmed throughout the campus once again, nervousness creeping onto his consciousness with every passing moment. Had he missed Emma?
‘Has she gone to her room already? Don’t tell me I missed her-’
His thoughts were cut short the second he caught sight of a familiar blonde hair bouncing in the wind. He stood up straight tossing the cigarette to the floor and crushing it underneath his black shoes, before rushing to catch up to his little sister.
Izana pushed through the throng of people, violently shoving anyone that got in his way until he finally fell in step with her, slowing down to match her pace. Without wasting time, his hand curled around the girl’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks instantly. A shocked gasp escaped her lips, her head twisting fast and her free hand even faster to hit him.
“Get off me - Izana?”
Her hand stopped mid air, inches away from the smirking male’s face. He noticed her tension leave her body, relief washing over her, only for irritation to take its place on her face, instantly displeased at his actions. “What the hell? I’ve told you to stop doing that.” she hissed at him.
A mischievous grin made its way to his face at Emma’s irritation. She always had a pout whenever she was angry at him and it made look even more adorable.
“Were you scared?” He teased her, pulling Emma closer to him until she was practically smushed at his side, his arm hugging her tight despite the irritated glare she gave him in response. “You know that as long as I’m alive, no one guy would ever have the balls to hurt you. Unless they want to die.”
“Stop joking about things like that.”
‘I’m not.’
Shaking his head, he decided to change the topic to what he came here for originally. “Here I got you something for your��” he sneered at the thought of Draken being near his little sister. “date with Draken.” He released her from his side hug before extending the perfume bag to her with a smug look on his face. “It’s Vivienne Westwood, your favorite.”
His hand hung in the air as Emma trailed her pointed glare from his hand, back to his cheerful visage. She crossed her arms in response slowly, her yellow eyes rapidly looking at the bag to his face before her lips curled into a sick sneer.
“Are you insane?”
“What?”
“Don’t ‘what?’ me Izana! How many times have I told you that this is not a situation you can bribe me out of! Not this time!”
Emma’s voice was loud enough to garner wandering eyes of other by-standers, watching the event go down. They were wise enough to hide that they were staring, so as not to piss Izana off even further after she left.
Izana kept his composure, still holding out the bag towards Emma with a smile -albeit stiffer than before. ‘She’s just being emotional’ Izana whispered to himself, still trying to be rational. ‘Just take it easy with her’
“Easy Em, I said it was a joke” his words were smooth, buttery, flowing out of his lips like it was the truth. In his own opinion, you were the one in the wrong for wearing such a provocative outfit, showing your body off. He was just trying to tell you off so that you would be more decent next time when you’re around seniors. “I didn’t know your friend was that sensitive-”
“Are you listening to the bullshit coming from your stupid mouth?” Emma roared, her voice echoing throughout the entirety of the department, her face red with fury. Izana had never seen his own beloved sister ever look at him with such disgust in her eyes, her teeth gnashing against each other and hands at her side, clenching against each other. “Is that what you think a joke sounds like?”
“Calm the fuck dow-”
“No wonder you’re fucking single, you’re such a piece of shit to anyone that isn’t Shinichiro!” Emma screamed, interrupting Izana once again, her temper fiery enough to burn a hole on the ground she stood with how heated she was. “How does anyone even stand you for so long? You’re unbearable!”
“Excuse m-”
He doesn’t like where the conversation is going, with how furious Emma was right now. He tried to raise a comforting hand to Emma’s shoulder to ease her tension but she was quick to smack it away from her hard, stinging his fingers a little.
It hurt.
“You’re so unpleasant, how do you even have any friends? How do they tolerate you? To think (name) wanted me to forgive you! Thank god you aren’t my fucking brother, I can’t imagine being anything like you!”
The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.
It was as if the world froze over for Izana. He stood there, wide eyed, his heart beating loudly in his chest as all the voices around him faded into the background. His hand extended weakly at his side, mouth drying up as a lump formed in his throat. He can see the flash of regret in Emma’s eyes, the way her face changes when the weight of her words crushed the both of them.
Suddenly he was sixteen again, thirteen year old Mikey taking Emma’s place and uttering those soul-crushing words to him after another fight. It was just a silly xbox game that Shinichiro forced them to share, one of his many futile attempts to make them get along with each other. Izana remembered how he looked at all of them. Mikey. Emma. Shinichiro, hoping to god that it was spite that fueled Mikey’s words, not conviction.
“It’s not true right? Shin-nii? Em?”
The terrified look on Shinichiro’s face sealed Izana’s fate forever.
“I-I-i didn’t mean i-” she starts to stutter, tears gathering in her eyes. It’s obvious that she can recognize the heartbreak in his violent hues, blankly staring at her, disappointed. He wants to say something, but all that manages to come out is air. Of all the things she could say to him, why did it have to be this one?
“Izana please-”
He doesn’t let her finish, turning on his heel and walking as fast as possible. People were quick to clear out of his way, not wanting to be his target of aggression when he eventually snapped. He ignored Emma trying to reach him, shouting his name at the top of her lungs with strings of apologies as he walked back to where he bike sat.
“Izana, wait please-” she screamed from the crowd of people, tears streaming from her yellow eyes. He continued to ignore her as he hopped on his bike, sliding in the key and revving up the engine before she could reach him.
“Izana please I didn’t mean it! I’m so-”
Izana zoomed away, turning Emma’s cries into background noise.
Tumblr media
"THANK god you’re not my real brother.”
Izana narrowly avoided crashing his bike into the tree right next to the house, hitting the breaks just in time for the bike to stop.
‘It’s all that fucking bitch’s fault!’ He seethed ‘That useless excuse of a human being caused this.’
You. An unimportant little rat that scurries around his little sister. From the first day Izana set his eyes on you, an intense hatred filled his gut. You were just there, sitting awkwardly while Emma tried to involve you in their conversation and it irked him. He hated everything about you - the way you picked your finger when you were nervous. Your bright smile you gave to only Emma when you talked about the most mundane of things. The fact that Emma would cut short their outings just to see or meet up with you.
Just your mere presence in general. He couldn’t stand you. He couldn’t stand losing his beloved sister to you
Blinded with rage, Izana throws his helmet on the tree with a guttural scream, breaking it in half. Unsatisfied with his rage, he clenched his fist and stalked towards his fraternity house, ready to beat up the first person he set his eyes on.
The doors of the fraternity house were thrown open by Izana. Shion was the first person Izana just happened to set his eyes on, the blond carrying a box of tools in his arms as he headed towards Ran’s bedroom. The taller male turned his attention just as Izana was entering the house and smiled at him.
“Hey boss, did you see your lil si-”
Izana pounced on the poor man, sending the toolbox and a confused Shion to the ground, shattering the glass table underneath them. Ignoring the broken glass digging into his skin, Izana slammed his fists straight into Shion’s face, dealing him powerful blows, cursing you as he beat up Madarame.
“(name) you stupid slut. You ruined everything! I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you-”
“Izana!”
“Stop it! You’re gonna kill him.”
Two sets of hands pulled Izana off Shion, dragging him away from the injured man. Ran is quick to help Shion up from the floor, holding the barely conscious male up. Eyes burning with irritation, Ran turned his attention to Izana who was held back by Kakucho and Mucho, heavily breathing after his rage induced breakdown.
“Izana what the hell man?” Ran cursed at him. “He was supposed to help me set up my humidifier. Look what you did!”
“Let’s take it easy, Ran, it seems like Izana had a bad day.” Kakucho reasoned, still holding Izana away from lunging at Shion once again. “You know he’s only like this when he’s stressed-”
Ran put his free hand up, silencing Kakucho completely. His violet eyes moved to Izana who was still huffing and puffing, still in Kakucho and Muto’s grip. “Look.” Ran sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We don’t want to deal with this anymore, Izana. You can’t keep taking out your anger on us. Especially for that (name) girl.”
Izana growled, his teeth clenched against each other at Ran’s words. Deep down, he knew Ran was right. Each time he saw his gift in the dustbin, it would send him into a panic induced rage and end in hitting one of his friends. Beating up everyone that wasn’t you was not the solution at all. No matter how violent he got, it still wouldn’t change the fact that his sister doesn’t want him anymore.
And it is all your fault.
Eventually, Izana relaxed, breathing through his nose gently. The two men released Izana once he calmed down before helping Ran with the barely conscious Shion to his room. The white haired male now left to his devices, crashed onto the chair, his hands on his knees. If he was going to get his sister back, he had to do it right. Maybe teach you a bitter lesson that you would never forget. Punish you for angering him and changing his little sister into something else.
Anything really, to satiate his anger.
His hand fished out his phone from his pocket, going straight to his contacts. Purple eyes rested on a familiar name, one that he hadn’t spoken to for the past eight months after a hookup. She tried to elevate herself from a hookup to his main girl, texting him non-stop and throwing herself at him.
Pathetic.
Izana liked thrill and adventure. Women who were wild on the dance floor and even wilder in the sheets were his favorite, for the same reason he loved riling up Mikey. The dopamine rush.
Sex was a drug to him. Not necessarily a favorite, just something he got a high from that was different from cocaine or LSD. The experience was a thrill, bodies meshed together in bliss as they gave into carnality until they fell over the edge. It was why he couldn’t stay with the same girl all the time, eventually their holes get accustomed to his dick and they try forming attachments to him. It gets boring.
Like this one.
He dialed the number and not even up to a minute later someone picked it. “Izana! Hey babe!” She chirped. Izana bit back a groan to avoid voicing his displeasure. She was so fucking annoying. “It’s been so long. Do you want to see me tonigh-”
“You’re (name)’s roommate right?” He could hear her deflated sigh from the phone and decided to butter her up. “Don’t worry, she’s not my type. Just need her schedule for a friend.”
“You sure?”
Izana rolled his eyes before deepening his voice to lure her in. “Sure babe. You’re the one I wanna see tonight. I see the cute pictures you sent to me. The one with you wearing those cheetah print panties, your bare tits hanging out is my favorite.”
“Really?” She sounded so excited that he liked something she sent. Pathetic.
“Really.” he breathed out. “You should wear it when you come here tonight. That is, if you tell me about your roommate’s schedule.”
“Alright!” She began excitedly, the prospect of being Izana’s girl tonight looking very tantalizing, to the point she is willing to sell out her friend. “I’ll tell you everything I know baby!”
Izana shook his head. Too easy.
Tumblr media
  YOU haven’t been able to stay asleep for the past few days.
It’s easy to fall asleep after a hard and stressful day at school and your part-time job. Your limbs ache from all the walking and lugging a bookbag far heavier than what you could handle -since all your e-textbooks were on your (now destroyed) laptop and phones were not allowed during lectures. And working from 5pm until 9pm at a restaurant, serving food to rude, overbearing customers only to be paid in pieces was another added stress in itself. Not to mention, studying.
But then, in all your dreams, everything you’ve pushed to the back of your memory is at the forefront. Your dream starts typically, your normal school day, waking up, dressing in your cute little blue crop sweater and jean skirt with socks. You go to classes, and then you see Mikey’s car waiting for Emma.
Things take a different turn. He’s the one getting out of the car to meet you. It’s like a siren call, him holding out his hand for you to take despite someone screaming for you to stop. And you try to reject him, you try to run away like the voice said but you end up getting trapped.
But this time, he’s not using his hands. He’s fully sheathed inside you, robbing you of every thing you hold so dear and you kick, bite and claw at him until you wake up screaming, sweat soaked all over your sheets.
You consistently dream of being violently raped by Manjiro Sano.
The next few hours until sunrise were equally horrible. You’re quietly sobbing into your pillows, praying to God to forgive you for letting Mikey touch you in the first place, assuming your reason for having such dreams was God’s divine judgment for your grievous sin. You’ve lost count on how many Bible verses you stay up reading until your eyes are bleary and the sun comes up.
No matter how much you pray and how many times you recite psalms 127 before you sleep, you can never escape Mikey in the world of dreams. He’s a virus that has invaded your thoughts, corrupting every dream you had and twisted them into nightmares.
You don’t know how long you can hold on being this sleep deprived. It’s been impairing your school life, trying to find a way to stay awake during classes only for you to fall asleep and miss the rest of it. Even when you got notes from the person next to you, reading them was always difficult because your eyes hurt so much.
 Work was even more taxing and stressful, rush week adding more stress than you could ever imagine. You found yourself spacing out more than usual when you were supposed to be taking orders. You were unable to keep up with the fast paced environment, your body feeling like a ton of bricks with every moment you make. Your eyes were heavy lidded, tired from forcing them open throughout the day.
You were so, so tired-
“Hello! Are you sleeping on me young lady?” A voice snapped at you.
Your eyes shot open and immediately you stood back straight. You must have been dozing off while taking the older lady’s order -the very thing you’ve been trying to avoid all day long. “No, not at all Ms-” you started to explain. “-I was just … what was your order aga-”
You flinched when the woman angrily slammed her fist on the table, shutting you up instantly! “So you were sleeping on the job! What kind of establishment allows this?” She screamed, attracting the attention of customers around. “I need to speak to your manager. NOW!”
You instantly began to panic at the mention of your manager. If he heard you’ve been sleeping on the job, for sure he was going to fire you, especially when he was angry you rejected his advances on the first day. You cannot afford to lose this job right now, with all your school expenses and saving up money for next session’s tuition.
“No mam” you begged, keeping your voice even as you tried to reason with her. “Th-there’s no need for that! Please! Let me take your order and I’ll-” you racked your brain for an excuse, knowing fully well your establishment does not offer free meals. “- I’ll pay for your meal! On me-”
“So you’re trying to imply I’m poor?” She interrupted you again, her tempo even higher than before. “You disrespectful little wretch! How dare you? GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”
You started begging the older woman, trying to calm her down and de-escalate the situation, but each plea only fuelled her rage. By now, every customer, every employee and just anyone in that place watched you grovel and beg this woman to calm down, some people even videoing your altercation. Your body was trembling as she screeched in your ears, calling you all sorts of names while you relentlessly apologized to her.
“What is going on here?”
You winced at the sound of your manager’s voice emerging from the backrooms. You stood stiffly as he walked to your side, using his shoulder to nudge you out of the way. “Is there something wrong Ms.?” He asked the lady. “What happened?”
“This little wretch!” She practically screeched at you, her finger wagging straight at your hung face. “She was sleeping while I was ordering! And when I pointed it out to her calmly, she called me a hag!”
Your eyes snapped open. You can tolerate people yelling at you, but lying against you is out of the question. “I did not call you anything! That’s a lie-”
“You be quiet!” Your manager yelled at you, silencing you. He turned to face the woman again, apologizing profusely for your so called rude behavior. “I promise you mam, she will be dealt with accordingly. Your order is in the house, please take that as a token of our humble apology and forgive us.”
You stood there in shock as the woman smirked satisfactorily at her now free meal. “Well. You better get rid of her!” She snarked, eyes scanning you up and down, plopping back down on her seat. “Or you’ll lose me as a patron.”
“Of course mam.” He said sweetly before switching his countenance towards you into a more irritated one. “You, come with me.”
You lowered your head once again in disappointment as you started following your manager towards the back rooms, your head lowered in shame as the eyes followed your every move to your damnation waiting for you in the manager’s office.
Your skin crawled as you felt his gaze roam your body up and down, before regaining his composure again. “You know how many complaints I have received this week just from you, (name)? How many orders you’ve messed up?”
You shook your head no in response, not trusting yourself to say anything reasonable at this point. He eyes you up and down again before scoffing at you rudely. “I only let you stay here to see that tight virgin body of yours roam around. It’s not like you’re even good at this kind of job.” He spat out, rolling his eyes. “Unfortunately for you, this is the end of the road for you here. Change out of your uniform and leave.”
“But s-”
“I said you’re FIRED. GET OUT.”
You sighed weakly, obeying your now ex-manager’s order and leaving the office. You ignored the eyes of everyone watching you exchange the too tight black jeans and green top uniform back to your white bohemian skirt and light blue top with your white jacket. Calmly, you packed your school bag and everything you owned with you and slung it over your shoulder, replacing the uniform back to the locker, dropping the key on top.
No one said goodbye to you as you left through the back door.
Tumblr media
  THE walk back to your dorm was quiet.
By the time you managed to catch a bus after your walk of shame and get back to campus, almost everywhere was dark and deserted. Save for only the street lamps that were beginning to dim, everywhere else was darker than usual.
You had read that there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight between the hours of 10pm - 12am. The time boldly written on the bus’ digital clock before you got down was 10:45pm, so you already assumed it was the cause of the unnatural darkness tonight.
A long time ago, things like this would have made you excited. You loved watching the stars when you were young, trying to check on the papers your father bought to see if there was any space news available. You remember borrowing your immediate elder brother’s binoculars as a makeshift telescope, trying to piece out the stars in the sky or see if you would catch a glimpse of the comet that was said to pass through that week.
Unfortunately, you were young and foolish. Wanting to impress your father, you told him all about your book of constellations that you drew up, detailing the first star that appeared every evening, down to your crazy childish theories about aliens and space.
“Can you show me the book?” your father had asked calmly. You should have known it was dangerous for your father to be this calm, but you were too blinded by excitement to think and you gave him the book, a bright smile on your face.
Your smile fell as his large hands ripped your book into shreds, before telling you “women don’t dream.”
Maybe that was the day you stopped loving your father. You were so young and impressionable, all you wanted was for him to be proud of you, like he was with his sons. Now, you can’t even look at the stars.
The memory leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you try to shake it off as you continue on the path.
You wondered what grievous sin you’ve committed to be so down on your luck like this.
You passed by Emma’s dorm building, another sigh escaped your lips. She told you that Draken wanted to take her out for dinner tonight, which shocked you because friends with benefits - according to what Emma herself told you- don’t go on dates or do lovey dovey stuff with each other, to avoid complicated feelings from budding.
Then again, their relationship is based on the fact that they both have feelings for each other, but Draken was not interested in a relationship.
It was already complicated before it began.
Your eyes darted up to her window, hoping her lights were on. Whenever she was alone, Emma hated sleeping in the dark. She said it reminded her of the times her mother would lock her and Izana in a dark room whenever she brought her customers in. Anytime she was in a darkened room, she told you she could still hear the sound of her mother moaning and a man grunting. Izana would try his best to distract her, playing games or even stealing an earphone and plugging it to his own so that she would listen to music instead of what was going on.
A frown graced your lips when you saw two bodies from the curtain, one tall figure you recognize as Draken and Emma’s smaller dainty figure perched on him, kissing. You quickly averted your eyes and walked faster, ignoring the unfamiliar pang in your chest. Maybe you’re jealous because you needed your friend’s comfort right now and she wasn’t available.
‘She has her own life to live. And I have mine’ you muttered to yourself as you trudged along the path, slowly dragging your feet. ‘I have to stop being so dependent on her.’
Eventually, your thoughts drift back to your reoccurring dream. Losing your job made you realize that if you didn’t do anything about it, your tiredness would eventually catch up to you and ruin everything else you’ve worked for. With an important test scheduled for tomorrow, you knew you could not afford to take another loss this week. You had to power through your sleep tonight, even if it traumatized you.
‘Maybe I should pretend that I like it. Pretend it’s okay and enjoy it so that I won’t have to wake up.’ You shook your head, cursing as you drew closer to your own dorm building. ‘How far I’ve fallen. Look at me trying to enjoy a disgraceful act-’
You paused in your tracks at the sound of a leaf crushing. You quickly turned around, trying to ascertain who could be lurking there behind the bushes. Your palms started sweating, your nerves firing at the thought of being watched by someone or something.
Silence.
You decided to continue walking, assuming that maybe you were hearing things and there wasn’t anything at all. Night time always had a way of making you nervous, especially with all the horrible stories you heard about innocent women being attacked around these times. Besides, looking around for whatever may be lurking was a dumb idea.
You should just try to get out of here.
Still, the nervousness and unease you feel doesn’t leave you. Your heart rate became abnormal as you started walking faster, only for you to hear mismatched footsteps behind you.
‘Run.’
You sprinted away as fast as possible, not even bothering to look back to see what was chasing you. At this point, all that was important was for you to get into your dorm room as soon as possible, the fear of the unknown running down your spine.
Your lungs burned from having to sprint at full speed after not exercising for years now, your leg muscles aching but you dare not stop running from what might be behind you. A glimpse of light peeking through the cracks of your dorm house beckoned you to run even faster, until you reached the door.
Your heart rate picked up as you attempted to twist the door handle open, only for you to realize that it was locked early today -of all the times that the school took security seriously it just had to be now. After a few more frazzled and failed attempts, you started pounding on the doors and screaming for anyone to let you in. “Please! Open the door, I’m being chased! Help!” You screamed frantically, shaking the large doors with how hard your fists hit them. “Open the door-”
Unfortunately, your luck ran out and nobody answered you or said anything. You kept on screaming as footsteps approached you, slowing down as you harshly pounded on the door for someone, anyone to help you. Your cries became even more frantic, shouting for help anywhere, anyhow, fear taking over your rational senses.
‘God please, please, please save me, please please please’
A loud blood curdling scream rips out of your throat as arms around your waist and chest before dragging your body into the nearby bushes, discarding your bag on the floor. Your limbs flail around, trying to hit your attacker in any way so that they can release you, and you can run back to Emma’s dorm.
All it did was enraged them.
The person threw you on the ground, the grass and dirt harshly brushing against your face and body, dirtying your white skirt and jacket. You attempted to get up, only for someone to jump on top of you, pushing their weight onto you so that you can’t.
‘No. No. No-’
You reached up to the person’s chest, trying to shove them off your body, but they didn’t budge pushing themselves further onto you. You decided to use your long nails to scratch them, drawing three long lines on their cheek, anything that could distract them so that you can fight back.
“You bitch.”
Your world froze over the moment you recognized that voice, heartbeat almost stopping completely. Your eyes fearfully locked with his bloodshot purple ones staring right back at you, silver hair reflecting in the street light just a few steps ahead of you.
‘Izana-’
What did you even do to him? After the Mikey incident, you avoided the brothers like a plague, not wanting to piss them off or a repeat of what had happened. You even told Emma she should start talking to them, so why was this happening to you?
Before you could scream, his fist came in contact with your face. The pain was unbearable, black spots clouding your vision as you tried to make sense of what was happening. He hit you again, this time on your jaw, forcing you to bite your tongue so hard it bled.
“This is what bitches like you deserve. This is what you get when you don’t stay in your fucking lane.” he spat out, slapping you across the face hard, your eyes rolled back and blacked out for a second, only for him to keep beating you up, emphasizing on each syllable with a violent slap. “Everything was fine until you came. You evil little bitch. You ruined everything!”
Tan hands found purchase around your neck, both pressing down until your air supply was cut off. Panic filled your gut the moment you looked at his face once again, eyes blown out wide, teeth gritted against each other so hard, it could crack. His face twisted grotesque with how hard he was looking at you, white dust scattered around his nostrils. You reached out to his hands, clawing and scratching at them until you drew blood, kicking your legs so that he’ll become unbalanced and loosen his grip.
It was as if he was immune to pain. Nothing you did worked.
“I’m going to kill you.” He hissed slowly, bending his face towards yours until his hot breath hit your skin. “I’m going to kill you and send your dead body to Emma. Nothing will EVER come between me and her. I’ll kill anyone that comes between us!”
‘God. God. God’
You watched as his lips curled up into a smile at the frightened look on your face when you realized how serious his threat was. Your nails dug harder into his skin, tears rolling down your face as you fought for your life. You didn’t want to die. Not like this. Alone, terrified, in the hands of a crazed man and his vice-like grip forcing you to stay in place.
Izana loved every second of it. Watching you tremble in fear as you fought back was nothing short of priceless. Sure he was holding back majorly because this was a lesson, but watching you beg for your life whilst fighting him has his blood rushing down to a particular place.
Eventually all your fight gave way to fear of death. You didn’t know when you started begging for your life, until your lightheaded brain began to register that the garbled, choked and broken pleas and apologies were coming from you.
“I’m s-orry, i’m so-orry- s-orry-”
You don’t know how long you’ve begged, waiting for death to take you while your body writhes in agony. Your eyes glance up to the moonless sky, memories of your younger self flashing before your very eyes, staring at the stars with wonder, dreaming of being amongst them. Your head feels light, your eyes unfocused and body turning cold-
Your eyes shot open the moment his hands left your neck. Instantly, you’re gulping for air, coughing and sputtering as he sits on top of you, his hands on either side of your head. Izana scrutinized you under his watchful gaze, eyes drinking in the sight of your mascara running down your bloodied face, glossed lips parted open for him, taking in air.
You’re so… weak and powerless underneath him, unable to do anything and yet you fought for your life, knowing you would lose to him.
That rawness of fear that acted up as your life flashed before your very eyes shifted something in him. You’re just a weak girl. A weak, vulnerable little girl who thinks she has a bark that he can do whatever he wants to her.
He almost cannot believe the boner growing in his pants right now. He’s never felt this way for you. Meek girls were always so boring to him and yet he wants to fuck you. He wants to claim you as his own personal toy only he can play with.
The familiar thrill, once again. He’s feeling it with you.
You’re still coughing and sputtering as you lay on the ground when Izana mindlessly gets off you. He’s conflicted within himself, wondering if he should leave you for another time or relieve himself there and then. There’s just something so sexy to him about your helpless body at his mercy, he could decide if he wanted to take you here and you would never be able to fight back.
His eyes flickered to your open mouth. That will do.
“Get on your knees.”
Not wanting to take another chance at life, you obeyed instantly ignoring your body aches as you kneel in front of him. Your mouth goes dry when you hear the clinking of his belt and his zipper go down. He moves closer to you until his crotch is right next to your face, shuffling his boxers until his cock springs out, slapping your cheek hard before resting his tip on your lips.
No.
Not again. You can’t go through this again. You already have nightmares of Mikey raping you, you didn’t need Izana there too. 
“Please, I don’t want-”
“Open your mouth.”
You gulped, forcing your eyes closed as your lips parted, opening it for him just enough for his cock to enter. “Izana, please. I’ve never done this before. Please don’t make me do this. Pleas-” you tried to beg, but Izana did not care, rubbing his shaft with pre leaking from his tip.
“Unless you want me to kill you, keep it open.”
A hand reached behind your head ignoring your protests holding it in place as his cock forced its way into your oral orifice, hitting the back of your throat with a loud groan of pleasure escaping his lips. Your gag reflex acted instantly, making you want to pull away but his hand was too strong, forcing you to stay put and take his cock.
Izana wasted no time, his hips rolling his cock inside your wet mouth at a brutal pace. Strings of curses left his lips with each thrust, relishing in the euphoric pleasure of riding your face, fucking into your pretty little mouth. The hot tears rolling down your cheeks, spittle pouring from your lips and the vibrations of your gagging nearly drove him mad.
Why hadn’t he done this earlier?
“That’s it -fuck- you little slut.” Izana hissed, each thrust into your mouth making a loud, wet pornographic noise. “This is -ahn shitshitshit- what you’re good f-for.” He groaned, his hips thrusting faster into your mouth. “Ahn, ahn ugh- f-fuck, s-should h-have fuck-ked you a-at that party ahn-”
You felt dizzy as he continued assaulting your mouth for his pleasure. Dark spots began to gather around your vision as he increased his pace, choking hard on his fat dick with each roll. Your knees ache from digging into the ground hard, your fingers buried in the sand as he fucked your mouth with reckless abandon.
You don’t think you can stay awake anymore. Your head hurts from how hard his grip is. Your throat hurts, your knees hurt, your head feels like you’re floating with how you’re not breathing properly.
You don’t feel good. It hurts so much but you can’t fight back.
“That’s it- ahn ugh fuckfuck-” he quickened his pace to speed up the process of his orgasm. Makoto had only given him three hours, and he is sure they’re almost up. “Yeah, this mouth is for me! Only for me-ahn ahn- you’re my fucking tight slut. Mineminemin- ah-”
Izana thrusted deep into your mouth thrice before cumming hard, pushing his bitter cum down your throat with a low groan, his purple eyes rolling to the back of his head. At the same time, your body instantly gave out, going limp in his hold as his cock slid out of your mouth, falling on the grassy ground with a dull thud.
He adjusted himself again, tucking his now flaccid cock in his pants and wearing them properly. Izana gave you one last look, glancing at your unconscious body before laughing to himself, kicking your shivering form out of his way as he started his journey back to the Tenjiku house.
“Perhaps Mikey was right. You have some use.”
Tumblr media
Bonus scene:
LOVE hated mornings.
Groaning at the fact that she had woken up so early in the morning - 5am to be exact, when her first class was by 2pm, the gyaru tried going back to sleep.
After tossing and turning underneath her blanket, the girl huffed, pushing herself off the bed until her feet touched the ground. Running her hand through her blond hair, she sluggishly walked towards the door, careful not to wake her roommate up.
“Maybe I should get some air, I’m sure it’ll help me sleep back.”
The girl found herself trudging out of the dorms, pushing the door open for her to leave. Not even two steps out of the dorms, Love tripped on something, falling face first on the mahogany floors.
“Ouch!” she hissed, grimacing as she sat up, rubbing her nose. “I just got this nose job done. What gives-”
She stopped short on seeing a blue bag with books scattered everywhere. Her hand reached out to one of them with a name written on it.
“(name) (last name)?” She read it to herself, scoffing the moment she recognized who it was. “That girl always follows the Sano girl like a lost pup. Tch. What’s her stuff even doing out here?”
Deciding not to care about the bag, she dropped the book back and stood up. “Whatever, I’m going on my walk.” She shrugged, walking away from the building to the empty roads. The morning breeze danced on her skin, playing with tendrils of her bleached hair as she walked.
Despite the peaceful aura, Love couldn’t feel at peace with herself. A sense of nervousness crept upon her as she walked, as if there was something wrong. Come to think of it, maybe she shouldn’t have left your bag just like that. It was strange to see your stuff left on the porch.
Unless.
Love didn’t know why her feet started taking her to the hedge just across her dorm building. She was always told that from her young age, she had a heightened sense of danger and as of now, she didn’t doubt that something was wrong.
“Alright. Let’s see what’s going on.” She breathed out, opening the hedge completely.
Her stomach dropped the second she caught sight of a white skirt dirtied in the sand. Quickly, the gyaru ran over to where your body laid and stopped, gasping at the extent of the damage done to your face and neck. She knelt over, picking your unconscious body onto her lap. Her fingers checked for a pulse, realizing how weak it was against your cold skin.
“Oh no, no.” Her voice trembled, throwing off her comfy jacket and wrapping it around you to warm you up. “This isn’t right-”
As her fingers started to dial the emergency number, she wondered what you could have done to deserve this. Yes you followed Emma around, but you were a good girl who hasn’t done anyone harm. Love had always seen you as too sweet, so whoever did this to you was evil.
“Please, stay with me, (name). Stay with me.”
The line finally went through and an operator spoke. “911, what’s your emergency?”
“A girl… a girl was attacked, please hurry, her pulse is weak.”
Tumblr media
Special thanks to: @honeybleed @manjibunny @reiners-milkbiddies @izanaki707 @rukiaslvr @ilovetwodmen @bbykoo-7 @tenjikusstuff4 @cockonoi @koffeenoe @kodzukein @lostsomewhereinthegarden @cashout-princess @aliyxh-o @kay-bear200 @iluv-ace @vixensbrainrotts @missgab @urmomsksk @sweeytheart @charcoal-xl @kokoch4n3l @aliss0n-love-blog @haikyuusboringassmanager @eattmeowt
monica's after note: honestly, after everything that has happened to me last week, I debated if I should put this chapter out or just give up on the project completely. the only reason i put it out is because i made a promise to myself to finish this series this year and i already have the skeletal work drafted out.
please it doesn't take anything for any of you to be respectful to me and yourselves. if you're angry that an author is delaying posting a chapter a few weeks always remember that we are real people, with real lives. the bigoted and racist comments i got last week should be the first and last i should ever see on my account. you saw that i made due with my threat and posted this as i said i would. if you wish to send anon asks, i apologize but they are off permanently. this is also due to the misbehaviour of a certain individual that caused this. do not also go to my mutual's inbox and start talking about me.
to everyone who supported me and sent me support throughout that difficult period of my time on here, thank you very much. you inspired me to keep going and really did not taint my image on this fic. i pray each one of you finds help in the day of your trouble. y'all are real ones.
on a lighter note, i'm pretty salty no one got my haruchiyo reference in the first chapter 'laugh haruchiyo' 'smile (name)' like cmon 😭😭😭 it was THAT obvious /j
edit: please comments and reblogs are highly appreciated. Forgot to add this.
465 notes · View notes
darnell-la · 2 months
Note
smut suggestion for rafe,
maybe like:
readers first time
being jjs sister and you guys have to be quiet bc he’s next door
something dark like with jealousy
“I deserve you” - Rafe Cameron
word count: 2.3k
pairing: jealous!Rafe Cameron x reader
warning: jealousy, sneaky around y/n’s house at night, hair pulling, choking, rough sex, risky sex, orgasms, begging, etc.
note: we added all of the requesters suggestions in this one story. we hope it’s enough!
WE DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OUR STORIES!
————————————————————————
3rd person pov
Everyone in Figure eight knows about y/n. Not just because she’s JJ’s sister, but because she’s pretty hot for a Pogue. Everyone knows that, and now she’s called “one of them,” when she doesn’t ask to be. 
She knows how they treat her brother and is not down with it. The Kooks constantly tell her how she’d be welcomed with open arms while the men tell her as long as she greets them with open legs. 
“Look, we’re just throwing a small party after the biggest win a Pogue could have ever made,” JJ said as y/n got food from their refrigerator. “They never cared about you before, so why would they now?” Y/n made a good point. 
“It’s not about making them like us, y/n. It’s way more. I just bought this big house with Kie and the rest, you love here, we’re rich and a lot more. It’s about time we rub it in their face,” JJ said as he sent out tweets about the party he’s hosting tonight. 
“Ugh, whatever,” y/n sighed as she stormed out of the kitchen. “I’ll make it up to you!” He said, making her laugh, because she knew he will. “You better,” she replied before making her way upstairs. 
It’s now late at night and everyone is here. No adults but their kids. Everyone’s drinking, smoking, or doing some drugs while y/n’s sneaking past people to get snacks before she stays upstairs for the rest of the night. 
“Look who decided to show up! Little miss perfect,” some drunk girl spat as y/n passed her to get to her cabinet. “What’s wrong? You don’t want to party? Are we too good for you?” She said as he friends laughed. 
“You’re definitely not,” y/n said before grabbing her chips and a couple water bottles. “Aye, ladies. I think it’s time to leave it,” a familiar voice said. As y/n looked back, she could see how everyone around her was just as shocked as she was. 
“And you’re here because?” Y/n asked, seeing, Rafe with that dumb look on his face. We all know he wouldn’t want to be here, so why did he bring himself? 
“Just here to congratulate y’all,” Rafe said, knowing he’s not. He would never. “You could have done that when they noticed us a couple months ago. You know, when you were pissed and whiny next to your stepmom,” Y/n clapped at him. 
“Wasn’t the right time,” Rafe said, standing up for himself. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing time? You know, for murder?” Y/n asked, making people gasp. 
Rafe knew what he was getting himself into when he stepped through these doors to provoke everyone. 
“Look, that’s in my past, and I bet if you gave me a chance, you’d see how much I’ve changed,” he genuinely meant, but everyone knows that his temper is still there. 
“Whatever you said, Cameron. Your sisters with John B if that’s who you’re here for,” y/n said as she walked passed him, bumping into his arm on purpose because she can’t find the respect for him. 
When y/n first met Rafe, she had thought he was sweet and too attractive to be real, but now that years passed, she can’t see this sweetness in him anymore. Maybe the attractiveness, but anyone can say that. 
After y/n made it to her room, she got set up. She placed her door on her bed and then got undressed until she was in her underwear and bra. She turned on some movie before she hopped in her bed and snacked on her chips. 
The whole night was semi-quiet for y/n. She wanted a few movies before putting everything to the side and lying down. It had gotten very late for her, and she plans on going to the mall with the girls tomorrow. 
The whole night for Rafe was boring. Usually, he likes it when girls approach him, but he doesn’t come here for them. He came here to talk to y/n and apologize for his passed. 
He knows it’s crazy, knowing he and her never had anything since he was after JJ and the others. Y/n was barely home since her school provided a place to stay since she and JJ’s father were always gone. 
Rafe talked to a few guys the whole night as he avoided JJ and the others. As the party got smaller, JJ took this chance to go upstairs and hide in one of the bathrooms in the house. 
Since almost every room here had a bathroom, he figured no one would think about using the bathroom in the hallway, so he stayed in their quiet and bored for a good two hours. 
After time passed, he heard no one in the hallways but JJ’s music coming from his room. Rafe slowly opened the bathroom door and closed it before searching for y/n’s room. 
Finding where y/n slept wasn't hard since the girl had a certain style and her room door was covered. Rafe chuckled at how cute this girl was before slowly opening her door. 
The room was slightly dark, so he couldn’t see y/n at first, but the second he closed her room door and locked it, he turned her dim lamp on, next to her room door on her work desk. 
There she was, laid on her bed and sound asleep like he wanted her. He can’t freak her out just yet. 
Rafe took his time walking to her bed, thinking he had this all under control until her phone notification went off. 
Y/n groaned as she turned in her bed. She annoyingly grabbed her phone and put it on silent. Rafe thought he was safe, and took a slow step towards her after she laid back down, but she heard him. 
Y/n’a head shot up and turned towards Rafe, seeing his figure only a few feet in front of her. “Hey,” he looked at her awkwardly, knowing he shouldn’t be in here. 
“Rafe, what the fuck are-“ She got too loud so he jumped at her, pushing her down on her mattress as he covered her mouth at the same time. “Ssh ssh ssh!” He spat, hoping she didn’t wake anyone. 
“Hey, hey! If you stay quiet, I’ll let you go, okay? I just want to talk,” he said as she tried speaking through his big ringed hand. “Y/n, just please. Please let me talk,” he said, sounding desperate, and she could hear it in his voice. 
She sighed and shut up with an eye roll. She has no choice. “Thank you,” he said. He hesitantly pulled his hand away from her mouth, letting her speak. 
“Be fast,” she said. “It’s nothing too much, but I just wanted to apologize. You know, for everything. I don’t want to get into it because it’s late and I had to sneak around and- I just need a break, you know? I just wanna break,” he said as he got comfortable on her bed. 
“A break from what?” She asked, slowly leaning up. “From everyone hating me. I’m not saying I don’t deserve it, but I want to change. I did change but then things happened and I just- I just can’t go and it fucked me,” he explained himself. 
“Yeah, you did,” y/n responded to his confession, not really hearing him out at first, but she noticed her response what a bit shitty after she noticed his body language change. 
“Hey, Rafe, look. Your dad fucked you and you followed him. That’s what sons do, you know? But you have to admit, you hate Pogues all around. With or without your father. And you’re cocky and get what you want,” she spoke. 
“I know you’re different than you act, but you also don’t try hard enough,” Y/n said. “But I do! Like for example, me and you. I tried making you happy but you left. You ignored me and went to these other rich pricks,” Rafe grew angry already. 
“I didn’t leave you like you didn’t deserve it. You like, you hate Pogues, and I’m a Pogue. You also flirt with any given bitch, and I’m not down for that,” y/n defended herself. 
“You’re different,” was his only argument. “No, I’m not. I was just nice to you, and that’s why you liked me. Clearly looks weren’t enough because you kept going back to Vanessa,” y/n reminded herself. 
“I didn’t want her, and you know that. You even flirted with my best friend,” Rafe argued back. “Correction. He flirted with me. I was just being nice,” Y/n told the truth as Rafe scoffed. 
“Yeah, fuckin right. You drank with him and fucking giggled like the whore of the night. You never do that shit with me! You do it with every other dude, but me!” Rafe got up from her bed and he grabbed his face. 
“Well, maybe it’s because they don’t call me a whore and get pissed off at the smallest shit without asking me about the situation!” Y/n yelled and whispered at him. 
“I get pissed off because you’re easy for them, but never me. Why not me! What have I done for you to act like such a fuckin- A fuckin-“ Rafe stuttered, trying to keep himself in. 
“Like what Rafe, huh? Like fucking what!? Like a whore? Like a bitch? Like a slut? Say it!” Y/n got up from her bed and got in his face. “I did that shit because of you! They at least deserve me,” second after her last words, Rafe grabbed her by her neck and pulled her into him. 
“So I don’t? I don’t fuckin’ deserve you because what? I care for you? I’m obsessed and would do anything for you?” Rafe spat at her as she fought against his grip. 
“No, no, tell me, y/n. Tell me I don’t deserve you, and see what fuckin’ happens,” Rafe threatened. “You don’t-“Before she could even say the word, he turned around and forced her to her knees on her bed. 
Y/n went to get off, but he grabbed her hair and kept her in a certain position, forcing her to stay right in front of him, back facing his stomach. 
“You’re very ungrateful. I push dudes away from you at parties, I threaten people for you, I yell at other bitches and all you have for me is that I don’t deserve you!? You’re a fuckin’ stuck bitch,” Rafe couldn’t hold himself anymore. 
The muscular man undid his belt before pushing his shorts and boxers down enough to expose his length. “Rafe, get out of my house!” Y/n yelled whispered, not wanting to wake everyone up. 
“Shut the fuck up,” Rafe said under his breath as he rapped y/n’s panties clean off. “Hey, what the- Rafe, stop it!” Y/n began to move around to wiggle away from him but Rafe had other plans. 
The strong man forced his cock into her slightly wet cunt, making her take every inch at the first thrust. 
“Yeah, I know,” Rafe pulled y/n back by her hair, whispering in her ear. “It feels good, doesn’t it? This is the Kook dick you’ve been lookin’ for, huh?” He licked her ear as she struggled taking his immediate thrusts. 
“F-Fuck,” y/n whined. Rafe grabbed y/n’s waist with his free hand to pull her weak body back into him, making her take him rather she liked it or not. He can tell she liked it. Everything about her moans says she does. 
“Gonna keep fuckin’ other Kook’s now? Or is my cock enough? Tell me my fuckin’ cock’s enough for your slut cunt,” Rafe growled in her ear, slightly scaring her, but the way he fucks her is only putting her in the mood. 
“Say it, now,” Rafe said in a warning voice. “Y-You’re enough!” Y/n moaned loudly. Rafe quickly took his hand that was placed on her hip and used it to cover her mouth. 
“Hey, hey, hey, princess! Keep it down,” Rafe said with a chuckle as he thrust harder into her to test how far he could keep this going. “Don’t want your brother waking up and seeing this scene, right?” He asked, now completely scaring her. 
“Look at that. The whore’s quiet now,” he taunted, before he pushed her face down into her bed, forcing her ass to angle upwards as her back arched. 
“Let’s see how long that shit will last,” Rafe said before he began slamming into her soaked pussy. The sound of their skin clapping filled the room, as well as she cried for him to stop or at least slow down. 
“I bet you didn’t tell the others to stop fuckin’ you. Am I right? You just let them fuck you, but did they cum in you?” Rafe asked. “Did they cum in you!?” He asked more seriously. 
“No! I swear!” Y/n cried as the knot in her stomach burst. “I know, baby. I asked then myself,” Rafe used one hand to snake under her body and rub her sensitive clit as he pulled her hair, still keeping her arched. 
“P-Please, Rafe. I-I can’t take it,” y/n begged as Rafe’s cock twitched. “You’re gonna take it,” Rafe groans began to fill the room as his orgasm hit him like a headache. 
“Fuuuuck!” Rafe groaned like a wild animal as he fucked his cum deep into y/n’s cunt until she was filled to his liking. “That’s it, baby. Take it all,” Rafe whispered in her ear as she moved her hips so her clit rubbed on his fingers faster. 
“God,” she squealed as her second orgasm washed over her. “Yeah! Yeah!” Rafe praised as he helped her as she shook and couldn’t fuck against him anymore. “That’s my girl,” Rafe kissed all over her neck as his cum began to leave out of her hole with his cock still deep in her. 
412 notes · View notes
tojisbbg · 3 months
Text
𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚
Tumblr media
❝and i know that i've been the worst, but i love you better.❞  
♡ toji fushiguro ♡
a/n: need him to fill all of my holes asap! 🥰 also, two posts in one day?!
reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3
content: ex!toji fushiguro x fem!reader, age gap!! (reader is 23 and toji is 31), smutty smut (lolol), not edited.
---
it's the middle of december, the air was crispy cold outside and despite begging your landlord to put the heater on blast in your apartment; your king-sized bed always felt like an ice plate.
of course, the size of the bed was intended to be shared with another human being. your boyfriend— well, now ex-boyfriend; toji. however, the breakup between you both was sudden, ending a little bit before thanksgiving.
this was the first time in three years that you've gone back to your parent's house for the holidays without toji. it was dreadful, having to distance yourself from nosy relatives who were bombarding you with questions about where your boyfriend was.
not having the energy or heart within you to explain the whole story, you gave them the excuse that he was working on thanksgiving. it was the most believable excuse you could come up with, as your boyfriend was quite much older than you, by eight years to be precise.
of course, your parents were strictly against your relationship at first, but, just as how toji was able to charm himself into your heart, it didn't take much longer until your parents would give in and melt. toji was mature, charming and he knew how to handle you.
you both loved to spend the holidays together, not to mention that his birthday overlapped during new years. now, you're only looking forward to forgetting the vast memories of him, which continue to haunt you this rough winter season.
you were trying to find the perfect position to fall asleep in, but, your room was so cold that it made it hard for you to concentrate on sleep. it was snowing outside, and the landlord clearly didn't give a single flying fuck about your comfort.
after a few minutes of fighting with yourself, you finally could feel your eyes grow heavy with sleep. it wouldn't be long until you could hear your bedroom door crack open, eyebrows pinching in confusion.
you couldn't tell if you were hallucinating or almost about to get kidnapped or murdered in the comforts of your own house.
your heart began to thump in your chest, feeling scared minute by minute as you could hear the heavy footsteps of the figure approach your bed. you regretted everything, you wanted toji by your side to protect you from whatever monster stood in front of your body, to hold you tight in his arms to keep you warm like every year because he knew that you get cold easily.
you missed toji.
suddenly, the blanket tucked under your back and butt got lifted before there was a dip in the bed behind you. a strong pair of arms wrapped around your waist, followed by the familiar scent of the cologne and body wash that is engraved into your brain.
"toji?" you mustered up the courage to call out the name you prayed to god for. he shoved his face in the crook of your neck, and just by feeling the rough skin of his lip scar on your flesh, you knew that it was him.
"it's just me, i'm here." he mumbled into your skin before pressing a tender kiss on your shoulder.
"why are you here?" you sighed, not even bothering to tell him to stop his ministrations of kissing your nape and rubbing his hands on your hips.
"had a feeling that you were cold." toji answered in a gruff voice before yawning.
"you know we can't-"
"go to sleep, y/n. we'll talk about it tomorrow." he cut you off before scooping your body closer to his. if it weren't for the fact that this was by far the warmest you've felt in your own bed within these past two weeks, maybe you would've screamed at him before kicking him out.
---
you were grateful to whoever proposed the idea that college student should get long breaks for christmas. it was still pretty early in the morning, maybe around six in the morning? you were warm and tucked away into toji's chest the entire night as you both peacefully slumbered.
you stirred awake when you felt disconnected from his touch, forcing an eye open to see that toji turned to face the other way; leaving you could and abandoned. you whined in annoyance, scooting over to him as you tugged on his shirt. toji, who was snoring in deep sleep, groaned from the gentle shakes.
"hm?" he hummed, eyes still closed, but he was half-awake now.
"cold." you briefly said, making him let out a deep sigh.
"come here." toji replied with a groggy voice as he opened his arms to invite you into his embrace once again. you snuggled closer to him as he hugged you tight.
yet, it seemed like that wasn't enough.
you kept fidgeting in his arms, continuing to either tighten your hold on his large and beefy figure and rolling more into him until you finally rolled on top of him. you were literally holding onto him like a koala.
"jesus, i'm not going anywhere, you brat." toji groaned, feeling your weight on his body. you sat up, now straddling his waist, letting out an annoyed huff. toji decided to watch you pout through his half-lidded eyes.
suddenly, you began to take off your shirt and the hello kitty printed pajama pants you wore, roughly throwing them on them floor. toji's eyes widened as you were now sitting on top of him, half-naked.
you gave him a small glare before pointing at his t-shirt and sweats.
"off. now." you demanded, getting off of toji as you watched him sit up with his bed messy hair. he obliged to your command, not finding the energy to argue back with you or ask any questions this early in the morning.
the man just wanted to go back to sleep.
so, toji did as you said, taking off all his clothes until he was left only in his boxers. you took a minute to soak in the sight of his godly sculpted body as he slipped back into the covers.
without any hesitation, you threw yourself on top of him, wrapping your arms and legs around him. it took everything in you to not moan out in bliss as the skin to skin touch between you two immediately transmitted his body warmth to you.
toji's body was perfect for hugging during any season, especially winter time. he was like a giant and beefy teddy bear to cuddle with, his body being a natural furnace.
without thinking, you rubbed your body onto his, unknowingly grinding on his crotch. toji's breath hitched, feeling his cock harden even more than before when he saw your half-naked glory after two weeks.
"feels so warm, toji." you mumbled, pressing yourself into him as your face was buried into the crook of his neck. toji ran his fingers on the back of your thighs, while his other hand rested on top of your ass.
"yeah? i could make you feel even warmer." he smirked, bucking his hips a little up to make you feel his erection. you gasped, feeling his cock throb below your pussy, the thin fabric of your panties and his boxers not providing much of a barrier.
"t-toji.." you stammered, cheeks growing warmer against the flesh of his chest. his skin smelled like bare vanilla with a mix of cologne, it was almost intoxicating.
"shh... let me please you, sweetheart." toji softly whispered, a strong arm curling against your waist while he turned to his side, gently laying you on the bed. you were now facing the wall with toji behind you, his hands sneaking up back before unclasping your bra.
with one swift motion, your bra joined the rest of the heap of clothes scattered on the floor. toji's hand found its way to your tits, groping them as you let out a whimper.
"haven't seen these pretty tits in so long. can i give them a little kiss, darling?" he sweetly asked, your mind fogged up with nothing but the thought of toji. nonetheless, you nodded your head as you leaned a little back.
toji lifted his head before leaning forwards to give each of your nipples a kiss. the contact of his soft lips and your sensitive hard buds was enough to drive you off the edge. but, knowing toji, he's one playful man.
without a warning, he latched his mouth onto your tits. his warm tongue swirled around your swollen bud as he suckled on your nipple.
"mhmm... toji." you moaned, your hands stroking his hair as he sucked and kissed the flesh of your tits until it left purplish hickeys on your skin.
with one final kiss on the valley between your tits, he went back to his original position. toji relaxed behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist. he noticed how you were trying to discretely rub your thighs together to create some kind of friction that would grant you the relief your aching pussy needed.
"need something, y/n?" toji teased, but you were too stubborn to give in. toji's fingers were freely roaming all over your body, from dancing on your spine to rubbing your hips and ass.
"n-no." you stammered, desperately wishing for him to plunge his fingers or cock inside your cunt right now. toji's fingers played with the waistband of your panties.
"hm? you sure? seems like you need something... or rather, this sweet little pussy of yours need something from me, no?" he spoke in a husky voice, the tips of his fingers gently rubbing your pussy on top of your panties. your breath hitched, feeling him press on your clothed clit before tracing the outline of your slit. there was a visible wet patch created from your slick, making toji smirk.
"so wet for me. you missed me, didn't you?" toji asked, but you were too focused on his movements. the lack of response made him a little upset, so he gently pinched the plush flesh of your thigh to get your attention.
"oww!" you winced in pain, looking over your shoulder to throw him a glare.
"i asked you a question, baby. don't ya know it's rude to not answer your boyfriend?" he snickered, making you roll your eyes at his justification.
"ex-boyfriend." you corrected him, making him scoff.
"oh, is that so? so you'd let your ex-boyfriend play with this pretty pussy of yours, hm? slut yourself out for him? talk to me, sweetheart." toji's hand slipped inside your panties, his middle finger sinking into your wet folds. your eyes rolled back as he rubbed your sopping wet pussy at a pleasurable pace, the words in your throat getting stuck.
"f-fuck." you moaned out, feeling toji draw circles on your throbbing clit. you swallowed harshly, as toji began to rub your clit at a pretty face pace before slowing down and sliding his fingers down to your pulsating hole.
toji shoved two of his fingers inside without a warning, making a whimper escape your lips. he was unforgiving, scissoring his long and thick digits in and out of your hole at a cruel rhythm; stretching your hole.
"nghh~ feels so good!" you panted like a bitch in heat, feeling the familiar knot forming in your lower stomach. toji felt your walls clamping on his fingers, a small smirk etching on his lips as he added onto your pleasure by rubbing your clit with his thumb.
your eyes rolled back, shutting your thighs around his wrists as a shaky hand came down to halt his movements.
"t-too much." you squealed, vision becoming blurry as you couldn't even form coherent sentences.
"you could take it, baby." toji encouraged, prying your legs open with his free hand as he gave you the most jaw dropping orgasm just from simple foreplay.
you saw white, creaming on his fingers as you let out a guttural moan.
"that's it, there you go, pretty." he cooed, helping your calm down from your orgasm as you tried to snap back into reality.
"holy shit." you breathed out, now laying on your back as you turned your head to face toji and look at him through half-lidded eyes.
you took note of the details that were already carved inside your brain of the man who owned your heart and soul. his beautiful ebony locks that always seemed dishevealed yet so soft to your touch; smelling like your shampoo because he's too lazy to get his own. his sharp grey eyes that always tease you. the supple fat of his cheek that he swore he'd get rid off but always rethinks his decision every time you pinch or bite them. his plump lips that kiss you stupid even if they're a little chapped sometimes because he's a little forgetful.
and of course, your favorite feature, the scar on the corner of his lip that you love to kiss because it's unique to him.
this was the man that you were so madly in love with, toji fushiguro. you fought wars to be with him, to get approval from your strict family, because he was an older man. but, not once have you ever regretted your decision.
to which, you were now thinking, was the reason that caused you both to break up even worth it?
"missed you." a shy glimmer graced your eyes as you mumbled those two words, catching toji's attention. he gave you a boyish smile, grazing his thumb along your bottom lip.
"yeah?" toji huskily chuckled, making you nod as you lifted yourself up before climbing on top of him. your disheaveled hair curtained his face as you leaned down to finally press your lips on him. the kiss was needy and messy, feeling toji push your head further towards him, his tongue sucking and biting your bottom lip.
you let out a whimper, opening your mouth to grant the wet muscle permission to explore the caverns of your mouth. you unintentionally began to grind your hips on his hard bulge, the wet patch on your cotton panties now dampening the front of his boxers.
toji let out a gruff groan, his hand going down to caress the supple fatty flesh of your ass before giving it a small spank, making you jolt.
you gave a tender kiss on the side of his mouth where his scar was before kissing along the outline of his sharp jaw. your wet kisses moved down to his neck as you sucked purplish bruises on his skin, all while he was groping your ass and thighs.
your mouth was practically drooling at the thought of having your boyfri— ex-boyfriend's cock inside your mouth again. you eagerly tugged down his boxers, his hard dick springing out and slapping his lower stomach.
toji was so incredibly manly, his body was gorgeous; as if the greek gods themselves scultped him. it was no use of denying the fact that you loved beefy men who could crush you in seconds with their body weight. toji was fit, his pecs were defined yet so soft; his toned abs and muscular biceps— don't forget those killer thighs and back muscles as well.
the cute happy trail leading down to the monsterous rod in his pants, which you clearly missed so dearly. you watched how his cock throbbed, the two twin veins that ran on the side of his shaft were a little swollen and his tip was red and angry from neglect; drooling with his sticky precum.
you wrapped your fingers around his cock, stroking it slowly before thumbing his tip, spreading the bead of his precum as toji groaned.
his thumb came down to brush against your lips before intruding to part them. he bit his lips, the pads of his finger feeling the wet muscle in your mouth. you licked a stripe up his shaft, starting from the base until the tip.
"fuck you're so pretty, sweetheart." a grunt left his lips, and before you knew it, the mushroom head of his cock was right in front of your lips. he rubbed the tip on your lips, the wet feeling of his precum smearing on them. you slightly opening your mouth, slowly licking the tip as you got a taste of him.
you wrapped your lips around his tip, sucking on it like candy before deepthroating as much of his cock as your mouth could take. it was almost impossible to suck and fuck the entire length of toji's dick because he was a good eight inches at least.
but, nonetheless, you tried your best to take as much in and let your hands do what was left out.
not giving you much time, toji grabbed the sides of your head before slamming his hips up into your mouth as his patience was running thin, making you gag. it seemed that all the self-control that he maintained so well all this time has completely vanished by now.
his moves were animalistic, starved and desparate.
toji began to thrust into your mouth, feeling the flesh of your cheek welcome his cock. your tongue dragged up and down his shaft, sucking in the shear length of his cock whenever he was forcing it down your throat. the twin veins grazing against the walls of your throat and against the surface of your tongue.
"you're gonna feel me exactly here." he commented with a smirk, his hand coming to your neck to slightly squeeze the area he was speaking about. he grabbed your hand before placing it on that place, then he took a hold of both sides of your cheeks.
with one long and deep thrust, he kept his word and you felt the bulge on your throat where his cock was lodged in. tears welled in your eyes, your throat burned both from the friction of his dick and the lack of oxygen.
but toji just wanted to see how long you'd last before tapping out. of course, he has no intention in killing you, but he wants to test your limits.
he continued to rut his hips, drool trickling down his cock as you choked and gagged, trying so hard to control those reflexes. but to toji, it felt like heaven because every time the muscles in your mouth and throat contracted, it hugged his cock in such a welcoming way.
"so close." he moaned out, eyes rolling back as his dick twitched inside the wet hole of your mouth that he ruthlessly fucked. you tried to breath through your nose, but it was getting a little difficult.
you felt the rush of warm liquid fill your mouth before sliding down your throat, opening your screwed shut eyes to glance up at toji. on the other hand, his eyes were closed tightly, breathing becoming erratic as he groaned in pleasure.
you tapped his thighs aggresively, wanting him to pull out before you lose your senses. he listened, taking his cock out of your mouth as you sat on your knees completely breathless. you coughed a couple of times, holding your throat as you rubbed it from the aching pain you felt.
your eyes were red and cheeks were stained with the tears that stained your rosy cheeks, eyelashes wet from it as well. you lifted your head to face him, seeing how flushed his face was as sweat coated his forehead. your eyes trailed south, seeing his cock dripping with your saliva and his cum.
"fucking asshole, you almost killed me." you said in between your breaths, glaring at him and he chuckled. leaning closer to your trembling body as he sat up, toji gently kissed your earlobe, making you shudder.
"had to make sure my little princess wasn't going around sucking other people's dick. i trained your throat pretty well, huh? but now i gotta check if this little cunt of yours has been loyal too." toji snickered, turning your body around in the position of reverse cowgirl.
you yelped once you felt him hook his forearms on the back of your knees, before pushing it up until it was besides your chest. your legs were now spread wide open as toji put you in a full nelson, his cock rubbing between your wet folds, nudging your clit as some points.
"put it in, baby." toji encouraged, pressing soft kisses to your temple. your hand went down to grab the shaft of his cock, giving it a few pumps before rubbing it on your sopping wet pussy to lubricate it. as his tip got caught in your hole, you gently and slowly began to enter the inches of his monster cock.
"ngh~ fuck, it's so big." you winced in pain, forgetting how painful the stretch of toji's cock was. it didn't matter how many times he fucked you dumb on his dick, your pussy would always be too tight for his thick meat.
"but you took it like a good girl, didn't you?" he praised, planting his feet on the bed before thrusting up into you. you moaned loudly, feeling his cock rubbing your wet walls so deliciously. the squealching sound of your pussy was pornographic.
"this pussy is mine— fuck, none of those stupid college boys could ever fuck you like i could. you're mine and only mine." toji moaned, his thrusts getting faster as his balls smacked against your ass, your hand coming down to rub your clit.
"hnghh, only yours. please! ahh~ feels so good." you were delirious, eyes rolling back from pleasure as you began to see white. your thighs were shaking as toji's thrusts began to get sloppy.
his cock twitched inside your hole, a ring of white cream already forming at the base of his dick from how much your pussy leaked on him, coating his balls in a shear white gloss.
the sticky shlick shlick sound echoed through the four walls of your shared room. tears pricked your eyes as you could feel the huge wave of your orgasm coming at you as your stomach began to tighten.
toji could sense that you're getting close, your walls clamping down on him as the tip of his dick kissed your cervix with each thrust. you turned your head to side, catching his lips in a messy and saliva filled kiss.
you both moaned into each other's mouth, cries of pleasure leaving your lips as you gushed on his cock.
"f-fuck, it's too much!" you mewled, feeling overstimulated as toji fucked you thrugh your orgasm.
"you could take it, gonna breed this pussy. maybe i'll fuck a baby into you, yeah?" toji panted and you were so cock drunk that you mindlessly nodded your head.
"yes, yes, please— fuck, give me a baby." you whimpered, and your voice was so sultry that toji came so hard inside your cunt. the thick and sticky ropes of his cum coated your walls as you shuddered from the warm feeling of being filled up with his cum.
his cock slid out, your hole being creampied to the brim as both of your cum began to gush out of your cunt. you rolled off of him, now laying besides toji as you both tried to catch your breath.
"i love you, y/n." toji confessed, turning his head to the side to look at you. that soft and lovesick expression painted on his flushed face made your heart jump.
you gave him a gentle smile, scooting closer to him before wrapping your arms and legs around him, pressing a tender kiss on his lips.
"i love you too, toji. i'm sorry for everything, i was just so angry and frustrated because it felt like forever that we've spent time together. i-i.... i got insecure and thought that you found someone better than me." your face dropped in sadness, a lump forming in your throat as you tried your best to not break into tears. toji frowned upon hearing your words before stroking your cheek.
"and why the hell would you ever think that?" he questioned and you shrugged.
"i know i'm a little immature sometimes, but i really do love you. i just don't want you to get tired of me and find a woman you're age who's more mature. you know how badly people talked about us before and still do." you sighed, making toji scoff.
"fuck those people, you're mine and i'm yours. no one could ever change that, got that princess? those few weeks i got a little busy because i was working long hours to book a flight to venice for us to spend christmas together." toji smiled, making your eyes widen in shock.
"no way." you gasped, but he grinned and nodded his head, making you squeal in excitement.
"we leave next week." he informed, pressing a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. you hummed in response and hugged him tight.
"ugh, i missed my teddy bear so much... spent so many lonely nights sleeping alone." you complained, and toji rubbed your back in a comforting manner.
"my poor baby, how could i make it up to you?" he cooed.
"let me put my hello kitty stickers on your dick." you gave him a cheeky smile, making him narrow his eyes.
"naughty girl." toji snickered, his hand going down in a sly manner to grab his cock and without warning, he entered it inside your already swollen hole once again.
your breath hitched, feeling your boyfriend latch his mouth onto your nipple.
"my pretty princess." he mumbled, giving you a small wink before licking your nipple playfully.
toji couldn't wait to give you your surprise in venice, the small box resting nicely in his coat pocket.
---
BONUS:
"tojiiiii~ toji! look!!" you ran from the hotel bathroom to the bed where your fiance laid down. his sharp grey eyes peered up at you in curiosity as you showed him your phone, the diamond on your ring finger shimmering under the hotel lighting.
"what am i looking at?" toji cocked an eyebrow, watching a girl having her face squished by a guy's bicep.
"i want you to do that to me." you gave him an innocent look, and toji smirked at your request. he laid his arm flat on the bed and ushered you to rest your face.
you did so and as toji flexed his arm, your cheeks got squished and forced your lips into a pout. toji chuckled at the adorable sight of you and leaned his head down to press a tender kiss on your pouted lips.
"gonna marry you and make you mine forever."
696 notes · View notes
Text
The sheer development of botw/totk zelink…
Zelda didn’t originally like Link. She outright avoided him at all costs and wasn’t particularly nice to him. And despite her own efforts, Link’s own determination and devotion to his role finally wore her down to the point where she realized how wrong she had judged him.
Link was a prodigy, he had the sword that would seal the darkness already (had since he was a mere preteen) and was known for besting adults in duels as a literal child. She was born with powers she couldn’t unlock despite all the effort she put in. She thought he was simply handed his fortunes in life with no consequences, while she struggled daily to uphold her father’s expectations for her and neglect her own hobbies.
But when Link steadfastly protected her in a place she had specifically gone to in order to escape him, she sees the truth behind it all. Link is determined. He never backs down from a fight. He’s also reckless and she understands this as she chastises him and worries over his well-being. He’s knowledgeable about horses and has good advice, always willing to share it when someone (aka Zelda) needs to hear it. She learns bit by bit about Link until she outright questions why he doesn’t talk much. And he genuinely hesitates but decides that he can share this with her. She’s the only one he ever has. Because she asked.
And he tells her. The sword on his back brings a great responsibility and massive burden to bare. He feels the need to be strong and to be the stoic perfect knight to take on the role everyone expects him to play.
They become much closer after this and there’s multiple times we see Link actually neglect his role as her protector in order to just be there for Zelda as her friend. Once in the spring memory where he turns after Zelda berated her inability to awaken her power and the second when they’re literally running away from murder bots and he doesn’t force her to continue when she slips but rather kneels, listens, and comforts her.
And to find out that Zelda’s love for Link is the reason she awakened her powers and that it’s canonically proven through Kass’ song? Wow. And that doesn’t even BEGIN their story and how it ends in totk.
In botw, the Japanese original logs are written by Link himself and it’s revealed that one of his motivators in saving Zelda was to see her smile once again. Just. Remember that.
Of course the game end and we do see Link and Zelda planning on traveling to investigate Vah Ruta. And we find out in ToTK that the two are inseparable, so much so that without Zelda by his side no one recognizes Link beyond the characters that genuinely know him through the story.
They’ve traveled across Hyrule and helped numerous people, no matter what it was. They live together in Hateno, where they helped to build a school and even teach the kids there. They founded expedition and research teams, reformed a guard, and even found the time to ‘vacation’ at Lurelin where they would go up to Lover’s Pond in the evening.
Zelda and Link create a home out of Hyrule. It’s no longer a desolate, sparingly populated land. It’s being reformed. It’s being cared for. It’s their home. They lost theirs 100years prior but they’ve steadily worked to make it a home once again. They were healing. Together.
So losing Zelda again, being unable to reach her, and also losing his sword. . . It’s a lot. But the thing he knows he must do— Find Princess Zelda. Despite knowing exactly where Zelda is after you finish the Tears of the Dragon Quest, Link does not complete it. Because he hasn’t found his Zelda. The one that rambles on about everything and gets excited about history and new discoveries. The one that tried to make him eat a frog (albeit she was on to something). She isn’t home.
Meanwhile Zelda. . . Zelda goes on about Link, enough for Sonia to know all about him and his tendency to worry over Zelda’s well-being. And then we have memory eight that has Zelda practically gushing about him to her pseudo-parents and promptly being teased for it. Then, as Zelda finally understands why she is in the past, she ensures Link has everything he could need in order to win. Because to her, Link and Hyrule surviving is a must. She sacrifices herself to ensure that.
And yet. . . Link is determined to bring her back. Hyrule won’t be the home they’ve worked so hard to make it so without her. He can’t quit until they find a way to revert her back. So when Rauru and Sonia channel their power through Link, it takes a moment for him to understand by when he does… WHOOH boy does the determination SHINE in his eyes.
And he gets her back. He reaches her. Protects her just as she did for him in the form of restoring the Master Sword. And she immediately rambles.
We don’t get to see Link’s reaction to any of this. But then we end with “Link, I’m home” and a SMILE. Because that’s all Link wants. For Zelda to be safe and smiling.
Ultimately, they just want to be home. And home is with the other.
2K notes · View notes
elliesbelle · 4 months
Text
nobody compares to you
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
chapter 12
pairing: ellie x reader
synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?
content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of alcohol, descriptions of anxiety and anxiety attacks, allusions to toxic parents, description of murder (in a joking fashion), flashback scene, some descriptions from ellie's POV, descriptions of marijuana and marijuana usage, allusions to toxic ex-friends, slightly sexual behaviour, minors do not interact
word count: 9.2k
chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen
series masterlist
my masterlist
i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎
the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist
Tumblr media
“Oh, I don’t know, Abs…” 
“Hey, like I said, no pressure at all.” 
You’re sprawled out on your bed with your homework spread out on your sheets which you’ve completely abandoned as you’d spent the last half hour chatting on the phone with Abby. 
It’s been exactly four days since your night out with her and her friends at the lesbian bar, Bow and Arrow. Exactly four days since unexpectedly you ran into your ex-fling from freshman year, Adriana. Exactly four days since you drunkenly rejected Abby’s sudden and attempted kiss. Exactly four days since you visited the same alleyway where you had your first kiss with Ellie Williams. 
Being the perfect gentlemanwoman that she always was, Abby had insisted on taking you home herself that night. You’d reassured her that you could easily order a rideshare service to take you home if needed, but she argued that it was her fault that you had tequila in your system in the first place and that she’d feel much more at ease if she definitively saw you enter the front door of your apartment with her own two eyes. Her thoughtfulness and persistence won out in the end, and at around 2 A.M., she respectfully greeted you good night as you tipsily crossed the threshold of your apartment. 
As you waved her goodbye, a sinking sense of shame settled at the seat of your stomach. Despite your brush-off to her advances, Abby remained completely sweet and amicable for the rest of the night. Her demeanour didn’t seem to change, though there were no more attempts to steal another kiss from you again. The feeling of remorse soberly persisted into the following day, and you’d remorsefully texted Abby the morning after to offer lengthy sorries for your rejection. Ever a well-mannered woman of honour, she easily accepted your many apologies and, in turn, apologized for attempting to kiss you while neither of you was completely sober. Your “friendship” with Abby remained untainted, much to your relief. 
But now, exactly four days later, you’ve been once again placed in yet another uncomfortable predicament.  Abby had just invited you out to dinner with her that following Friday night at a restaurant called Orchards. Though never having actually set foot in the place, you’d seen just in passing how extravagant and fancy the establishment was. It was never a restaurant you considered ever patronizing, and as Abby attempts to persuade you to accompany her for dinner, you feel your entire body begin to react in complete hysteria. You try to convince yourself that your rapidly beating heart and extreme nausea were merely nervous reactions to being suddenly asked out on an obvious date, not at all from the fact that Orchards is a mere block and corner away from the apartment that Jesse and Ellie shared. 
“It’s not that I don’t want to!” You insist. “It’s just that… I mean, are you sure?” 
“Sure about what?” 
“I don’t know… that you wanna be asking me out on a date.” 
“Doesn’t have to be an official date if you don’t want it to be,” She says. “It can just be two friends going out on a Friday night for a nice dinner together and having a fun time.” 
“At a super fancy restaurant?” 
“Hey, I’m a really good friend.” 
You can’t help but giggle at Abby’s cheekiness. 
From experience alone, you have a gut feeling somehow that if you were to decline Abby’s invitation, she wouldn’t hold it against you. You could choose to once again remain within the sanctuary of your platonic comfort zone, a sanctuary that you’d grown far too comfortable in for the past couple of years. But Abby was genuinely sweet and so thoughtful and incredibly handsome, and she’d been so very good to you so far. Suddenly, wise words from both Dina and Jesse come back to you and echo within your mind. 
“Don’t let her stop you from enjoying your life.” 
“I also think that you deserve to be happy. And unfortunately, that means putting yourself out there.” 
Trying to hold back from letting out an audible sigh, you finally give Abby a reply. 
“Alright.” 
“Oh?” 
“Alright.” You repeat, smiling slightly. 
“Is that a yes?” Abby asks. 
“It’s a yes,” You giggle. “Now whether it’s a friend date or a real date…” 
“Hey, I’ll take whatever I can get,” Abby laughs. “You don’t have to decide now. Hell, you can even decide during dessert while we’re actually at the restaurant.” 
“You’re cute.” You chuckle. 
“Oh, I know.” You swear you can hear Abby’s cocky smirk through the phone. 
“So, Friday at 7?” You confirm. 
“If that works for you. Do you want me to come pick you up from your place?” 
You seriously consider her generous offer. A small part of you knows that there is every chance that you would end up bailing in total anxiety if you weren’t essentially escorted to the date. Part of you also begins to worry that you’d immediately look out of place if you walked in alone without Abby and her usual charm & swagger by your side. But you then remember that Abby’s apartment is only five minutes away from the restaurant and yours was fifteen and in the complete opposite direction; your unrelenting unwillingness to inconvenience her ultimately makes the decision for you. 
“Oh, it’s okay! I can just meet you there.” You exclaim. 
“You sure? I totally don’t mind coming to get you.” 
“Abby.” You say in a playfully stern manner. 
“I know, I know,” Abby chuckles. “You’re a big girl.” 
“Yes, ma’am, I am.” 
Suppressing from loudly exhaling in both relief and tension, you finally remember and notice all of the unfinished homework still laid out right in front of you. 
“Anyway, just text me all the details later. I’ve got a shit ton of homework that I’ve been procrastinating on, and you’ve kind of been sidetracking me from completing any of  it.” 
“My apologies, it was not my intention to be so distracting.” 
“Yes, it was.” 
“Okay, maybe a little.” 
You both laugh. 
“Alright, alright,” Abby complies. “I’ll let you get to it. I’ll see you in the morning?” 
“Don’t you have class at like, 8?” 
“I can skip it so I can walk you to your 9 A.M.” 
“Abigail, go to your classes.” 
“Fine,” She chuckles. “I’ll be a good student, I guess. Always so eager to be rid of me.” 
“Abby Anderson, I swear to god—“ 
“Kidding, kidding!” 
“I’ll text you later, then.” You say. 
“Sounds good. Good luck with your homework.” 
“Thanks. Good night, Abs.” 
“Good night, pretty girl.” 
You tap the red button at the bottom of your screen, subsequently ending the call. 
Sighing, you flop onto your back and stare at your prickly white ceiling. Your eyes zoom in and out of focus as your mind recaps the conversation you just had with the blonde, blue-eyed woman. 
Did I just agree to go out with Abby? 
Do I really want to do this? 
This is gonna be so, so different from the other night. We were with her friends. She’s inviting me out to be with her and only her. 
It’s going to be a date, no matter what she says. 
I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing anymore. 
Am I doing this because I want to do it? Or is it because I feel like I should? 
She doesn’t even know what she’s taking on, trying to date me. She doesn’t know what she’s getting into. She’s way too nice, too sweet for me. 
Can I really do this? 
As your internal monologue quickly fatigues both your mind and your emotions, you nearly pass out before the panic of not finishing your schoolwork jolts you awake once again. 
Tumblr media
 “What about this one?” 
“No, it hugs my thighs really weird…” 
“First of all, it does not. Second, why do you even have it in the first place, then?!” 
“Sentimental value, D!” 
You had invited Dina over that Wednesday evening to help you settle on an outfit to wear for your date-not-a-date in two days. You’d finally relented to telling Dina about your situation with Abby and how on the fence you’ve been in regards to starting anything romantic and real with her. To your surprise, Dina was a lot less judgier than you had been anticipating and much more understanding. She was just as supportive as she was the day she came over with the cup of coffee and advice regarding your messy situation with Ellie. She even enthusiastically invited herself over, accurately predicting that you were already far too hesitant and anxious to properly plan for Friday night. 
You snatch the white dress Dina had been holding out for you from her hands and throw it onto your bed. 
“If we can’t find actually anything suitable for me to wear, maybe it’s a sign from the universe that I should cancel on Abby.” 
“The hell it is!” Dina scolds. “You are going on this date, even if I have to go out right now and buy you a whole new outfit myself!” 
“I just don’t think I actually have anything good enough for Orchards! I’m gonna go there and look like a freaking shabby peasant, and Abby will take one look at me and immediately collapse on the spot over how disgustingly and horrifically ugly I look.” You flop onto your bed next to the pile of rejects you’d adamantly denied earlier in the evening. 
“Did you really just say ‘peasant’? What are you, eighty?” Dina rolls her eyes at your dramatics. “And if Abby Anderson passes out on the spot for any reason, it’ll only be because you will be so stunning and gorgeous and ravishing and elegant that she just couldn’t consciously handle your natural beauty.” 
“Oh, shut the fuck up, D!” You laugh, picking up the white dress Dina was holding previously and lobbing it at her face. 
Dina laughs as she effortlessly catches it before placing it back on top of the reject pile. She then saunters back into your walk-in closet to continue examining its contents. 
“Maybe if we build your date outfit from—” 
“Not a date.” 
“—your date outfit from an accessory or a pair of shoes or something. Do you have a pair of heels that you were thinking of wearing?” 
You give her an apprehensive look.
“What do you think, D?” 
“Of course. Be helpful for two seconds, babe.” 
“Ugh!” 
You lift your head slightly to watch her venture further into your closet from the comfort of your bed. 
“I have a whole bunch of other shoes on the top shelf over there,” You say, pointing in the direction of a wall-mounted shelf above your clothes arranged on hangers. “Some of them are still in their shoe boxes, though, so you better put them back properly after and line them up exactly the way I had them.” 
“Anal.” Dina scoffs, smiling. “Why are they still in their boxes?” 
“Some of them were stupid, impulse purchases that I immediately regretted but was too lazy to return,” You explain, dropping your head back onto your bed. “Others are a bunch of ugly and uncomfortable shoes that my mother bought me and that I have to lie about wearing regularly and that I’m definitely not allowed to get rid of, lest she murders me in cold blood with her own two hands.” 
“So when are we going to finally end the miserable existence of that horrible woman again, exactly?” 
“When I figure out exactly how to get away with murder.” 
Dina smirks as she grabs a small step stool hidden in a corner of your closet. 
“Hey, if Barbie Bear had actually come to life when I asked her to all those years ago, you would have been free from that witch’s clutches by now.” Dina huffs as she begins to peek into the shoe boxes neatly arranged on the top shelf of your closet. 
“Speaking of Barbie Bear,” You suddenly segue, still staring up at the ceiling of your apartment. “I still want her back, by the way.” 
“I told you fifty million times already that I don’t have her!” 
“Bullshit,” You counter. “I know I left her at your house summer after freshman year I came home with you guys.” 
“Babe, it’s been like, well over a year now. I promise that I don’t have her, and I seriously haven’t seen her anywhere in my house back home.” 
“I’m planning on pressing charges against you for kidnapping my child and for causing such catastrophic emotional distress as a result of the trauma of many years of motherly separation from my daughter.” 
“Such a fucking drama queen.” Dina chuckles as she continues her footwear search. 
“Dinaaaa,” You whine. “You know that Raf gave her to me—” 
“Uhhh…” Dina abruptly interrupts. “What the hell is this?” 
“What?” 
“What is this box?” Dina asks, climbing down the step stool with something in one hand. 
“Hmm?” You finally rise from your position and prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at what she was referring to. 
Dina slowly emerges from your closet holding something heavy in her hands. It looks like a shoe box at first glance; but upon further inspection, it looks quite different from the other containers that it was previously organized with. Dina reveals a dark blue memory box adorned with intricately drawn vines and flowers. On one side was a tiny strip of paper with the word “El” written in small golden ink. 
Your fingers go cold, your jaw goes slack, and your eyes widen. The absolute panicked expression on your face complements Dina’s expression of complete astonishment. 
“Oh, shit.” You mutter involuntarily. 
“Sooo…” Dina begins. “You’ve got… an Ellie box.” 
Knowing Dina very well, you figure that, at the very least, she already snuck a quick peek at its contents. You sigh, aware that lying to her face would be pointless. 
“Y-yeah. I’ve got an Ellie box.” 
Dina’s mouth drops open even further, and you groan in total embarrassment at her elated squeals of your name laced with amusement and intrigue. 
“An Ellie box!!! Oh my god! Scandalous! Outrageous! Somebody call the Vatican!” Dina exclaims happily, a shit-eating grin wide all over her face. 
“Dinaaaa…” You gripe. “Put it back right now!” 
“Absolutely not, you slut!” She excitedly cries as she plops herself down next to you on the bed, carelessly pushing your pile of discarded clothes further to the side. “This is the best day of my whole life.” 
“Dina!” You smack her arm but make no real attempts to pull the box away from her, knowing you wouldn’t win that very brief fight. 
“You’re the one who still has it!” She points out smugly. “And after you swore to me the other week that you are definitely not in love with Ellie anymore.” 
“I’m not!” 
“Yeah, yeah, yeah” She simply waves you off as she removes the lid. “Keep telling yourself that, babe.” 
You fall back onto your sheets, shrouding your face behind your hands in shame as Dina giggles giddily to herself. 
You try in vain to convince yourself that you’d completely forgotten you even had the memory box in the first place, that it was something you’d meant to get rid of ages ago but merely never gotten around to. It was shoved, after all, in between all the pairs of shoes you never touch, always closed and completely neglected. But the brutally honest part of your conscience knows that its continued existence in your closet is a representation of something you desperately try to keep buried deep within the corners of your mind.  
Unable to help yourself, you cautiously peek behind your hands to observe Dina’s extensive inspection of your secret Ellie box. You watch as she picks up several pieces of paper: a faded ticket stub from a show Ellie once took you to of a local band whose music she wanted to introduce you to, a receipt from the time that you and Ellie attended a limited portrait exhibition at a nearby art museum, an unfinished charcoal picture Ellie had drawn of a small field of blooming daisies you’d spotted when you’d gone with her to the woods to freely smoke in secret. 
You try to block out the images the box’s contents were involuntarily eliciting from memories you’d hidden long ago as Dina places the papers back in lieu of a stack of envelopes wrapped together with a thin piece of twine. A gentle smile appears on Dina’s face as she tenderly turns the handwritten letters back and forth between her hands. 
“You know,” She says quietly. “Ellie used to really love whenever you wrote her these letters to her. Jesse and I used to catch her rereading them all the time, even super old ones you’d written her months before.” 
You quickly feel your entire body burn hot with a sweltering sensation that you hadn’t let yourself fully feel in years. 
Tumblr media
Fall of Freshman Year 
The university that you’d chosen to reside in for the next four years was chosen partially for its distance away from your hometown, from your parents in particular. Longing to be liberated from their tyrannical control, you applied exclusively to schools that were no less than a hundred miles away. Not a week into your freshman year, however, the guilt of choosing to be so far away from your favourite cousin ate at you every second you were apart. To give Rafael something tangible to consistently remind him of you, you’d send handwritten letters to him through the mail at least twice a month while you attended college. Though you’d chat with him regardless through texts and video on a regular basis, you enjoyed showering him with sisterly love in your own sweet and corny way.  
Ellie was sprawled out on your bed one night while you sat at your rickety, battered student desk. She was busying herself by rolling a few joints, all packed with lavender buds you’d previously provided, and placing them in her metal tin. As she placed the last one next to the others and put another in between her lips, she hopped off your bed and came to hover nosily behind you. 
“Are you really doing homework this late?” 
“Shut up and go finish rolling so we can smoke already.” 
“What are you doing?” 
“Not my homework.” 
“Then what?” 
Ellie curiously leaned over your shoulder and watched the way your hand smoothly and speedily glided over your favourite piece of floral stationary, writing legibly your own blend of print and cursive. To the right of your paper was a small white envelope with both your name and Rafael’s written on the front accompanied by your respective addresses. To the left was a golden stamp seal of a sunflower and a tiny mason jar full of multicoloured wax beads. 
“Are you writing a letter? With your hands?” 
“I mean, how else are you supposed to write a letter, El?” 
“What kind of nerdy ass nonsense—” 
“Go roll our shit, Ellie Williams!” You interrupted, taking a pencil within your reach and flicking it at her. 
She chuckled, blocking it in time before it hit her directly in the face. She placed it back on your desk before picking up the sunflower seal and examining it closely. 
“You’re writing an actual letter, for real?” She asked, her lips still tight with the joint in between her lips. 
“Mhmm.” You hummed. 
“To your cousin?” 
“Yup.” 
“Why?” 
“Because I feel like it.” 
“That’s some shit that only senile, lonely grandmas do on their grandkid’s birthday when they’re sending them fifty bucks in cash.” Ellie teased as she placed the sunflower stamp back on your desk. 
“So, what?” 
“So, you’re even more of a nerd than I thought.” 
“Shut up!” 
“Hey, not my fault that you’re an old lady.” 
“Can you go finish rolling our joints so we can smoke already?” 
“I’m already done, grandma!” 
“Then go away and hush!” 
Ellie chuckled as she leaned against your desk and took out a lighter from a front pocket of her jeans. She moved to ignite the tip of the joint, but you smacked her arm and pointed towards your bed. 
“Sploof, sploof, sploof!!!” You demanded. 
“What? Tara won’t care about the smell. She smells like weed half the time herself.” 
“My RA will notice, though! I don’t wanna get kicked out in my first year of college just ‘cause you’re lazy!” 
“Thought that the whole point of your lavender shit was to mask the weed smell.” 
You didn’t reply and settled for looking at her with a stern glare. She laughed and mockingly held up both her hands in defeat. 
“Alright, alright! Stick-in-the-mud.” 
She walked over to your bed, plopping back down and reaching for the paper towel roll that she’d wrapped securely with duct tape and stuffed with several dryer sheets. After lighting the joint and taking a deep hit, she exhaled deeply into the cylindrical piece of cardboard. Her ocean green eyes remained fixated on you, fixated on concluding your letter. 
“So why are you sending Rafael snail mail? Don’t you guys talk like, almost every day?” 
“We do. But it’s just something I really love doing. Makes me feel connected with him in more than one way, you know?” 
Ellie merely hummed in acknowledgement as you continued your explanation. 
“I used to do it a lot back in high school for the friends I had at the time. Or at least I did, until my parents made me stop when they complained about me using up all their stamps.” 
“Dicks.” Ellie chuckled. “Did any of your friends ever write you back?” 
“No,” You said simply. “I totally get it though. We saw each other every single day at school. It makes sense for them not to send some handwritten reply through the mail.” 
Your expression looked completely and genuinely unbothered, but Ellie frowned. 
“That was pretty rude of them.” She pointed out. 
“Oh, it’s okay. I never thought it was. I didn’t do it to get anything back from them or anything. Just did it ‘cause I really cared about my friends and wanted to show that in my way. It was sort of like my own kind of love language.” 
Ellie continued to watch you in total awe as you folded up the stationary and stuffed it into the envelope. You thoughtfully picked out a couple of wax beads from the mason jar, two violet and one silver, and placed them on a tiny spoon that you placed on top of a mahogany wax warmer. You turned around to face her, one hand held out in her direction. 
“Can I borrow your lighter, El?” You asked. 
Ellie, still mesmerized by your routine, blinked in disorientation. 
“Wh-what?” 
“Your lighter, dummy. Can I use it for a sec?” 
“O-oh, y-yeah.” 
She’d completely forgotten about the lit joint still placed between her lips. After quickly inhaling from the cigarette and exhaling into the sploof, she shoved a hand into her jean pocket once again and handed you her lighter. She ignored the subtle electricity that sparked between you when her fingertips brushed against yours. 
She observed the way you carefully lit the white tealight candle inside the wax warmer and stared at the way the beads slowly melted inside the small spoon. Clearing her throat and finally handing you the joint, she leaned back onto your pillows and tried to lighten the mood. 
“So, you’re allowed to a candle in your dorm room, but I can’t even smoke?” 
“Asshole, I’m literally smoking with you right now.” You pointed out before bringing the joint to your lips and relighting the tip. 
“I’m just saying, double standard.” Ellie shrugged. 
“Wh—double standard? Does anything you say ever make any sense?” You asked with tight lips, hysterically flapping a hand in the direction of the sploof next to her on the bed. 
She laughed and quickly handed it to you, once again ignoring that flicker of electricity at your touch. 
“I love being an enigma to all human beings.” 
“Fucking weirdo.” You replied after exhaling into the wrapped paper towel roll. 
Ellie gave you a cocky wink, and you ignored the feverish burning of your cheeks. 
“So,” She began as you suck from the joint once more. “Am I ever going to receive one of these  fancy ass letters of yours?” 
“What? What for?” 
“I don’t know; just wanna see all the fuss is about.” 
“I see you every day, El. We literally live on the same campus.” 
“So, what? I still want one.” 
“You just said it was an old lady activity.” 
“It is.” 
“You’re not helping your case by being mean to me, you know.” 
You handed the joint and sploof back to Ellie and turned your uncomfortable desk chair around to lean back into it and face her directly. 
“You wouldn’t want one, anyway. It’s almost always all corny and sentimental.” 
“I mean, I expected as much. Have you met you?” Ellie gestured to you with the joint between her fingers. 
You playfully stick your tongue at her. 
“You are a rude and blunt asshole, El. Corny and sentimental aren’t really your thing.” 
“Fine!” Ellie jokingly conceded after taking a huge hit of the joint. “I didn’t really want one, anyway!” 
You rolled your eyes at her petulant and whiny expression. Ellie finished off the rest of the joint as you delicately poured the melted wax onto the envelope and sealed it with the sunflower stamp. 
Despite having just made lighthearted fun of you for it, the small smile on Ellie’s lips contradicted her prior teasing. She adored watching you perform such a personal ritual, and she felt special to be given your natural, instinctive trust by comfortably allowing her to witness such an intimate act. 
Out of sheer stubbornness and defiance on your part, you gave Ellie her very own handwritten letter the following day. You found some time during your day to slip it underneath her door in between your classes, and you quickly scampered off before either she or Jesse came home. You were still a bit huffy over her playful teasing the previous night, and you wanted to tease her back in your own way. 
To your slight surprise, Ellie was completely amused and ecstatic by your act of indignation. She eagerly opened the small, white envelope with her name written in golden cursive on the front, carefully avoiding ripping the fancy seal you’d closed the letter with: a forest green wax seal with hints of gold, embellished with a pair of ferns that notably matched that of her forearm tattoo. 
Inside the envelope was a simple, small piece of paper with only seven words written on it: “you are so, so mean to me,”  followed by a tiny sad face. 
You would have never guessed that her silly jabs at your sentimentality would establish a special ritual between you and Ellie. You were entertained by how truly thrilled Ellie had found her first letter that, on a frequent basis, you would sneakily slip formally sealed envelopes under her door or drop them inside her designated mail slot or hide them underneath her pillow with a short handwritten letter inside written in jest. But somewhere along the way, the little inside jokes eventually turned into genuine letters of you enthusiastically talking about innermost thoughts you’d be having at the time or words of loving encouragement when you knew she was having a particularly bad day. Your little confidences only for her eyes that were hidden by different wax seals, whether it be a bumblebee or a daisy or her token ferns, brought her a sense of comfort she could never quite comprehend. 
During that summer after your freshman year, you’d continued to regularly write her letters. But as she began to pull away from you, they never reached her as you became reluctant to actually present them. She sequentially stayed ignorant of their existence after you’d broken it all off with her.
But despite how horribly heart-wrenching the end of the whole affair was, you kept the letters anyway. You’d even composed several letters in the months following as a sorry means to ease your grief, confessing all the sentiments and feelings you wished you could have fully expressed to her but never got the chance to.
Some were furious and indignant over how she had been treating you that summer; others were wistful and nostalgic over the connection you’d believed you had with her but lost completely; each just as miserable as the next. Just as you were so unhealthily attached to the letters previously written to her, you couldn’t bear to throw out these melancholy ones. You settled instead on hiding them away, never meant to be seen by anyone else.
Tumblr media
You watch as Dina delicately runs her fingers over the different wax seals you’d used to close the envelopes, a kind but thoughtful look on her face. She sighs before speaking. 
“I really wished things worked out between the two of you, you know. Still do.” 
“I know, D.” 
She turns back to look at you, a sad smile still etched on her lips. 
“Still won’t tell me anything about what happened at the end of that summer? You still never told me and Jess. Hasn’t enough time passed?” 
“It doesn’t matter anymore, babe.” You sigh, shaking your head. 
“I guess not,” Dina says, turning back around to place the letters in the box. “Just wish you’d talk to me about it, even just a little bit.” 
Even now, you feel immense guilt over your unrelenting reluctance to reveal to Dina and Jesse what really transpired when Ellie dropped you off at home after your summer in Jackson. It had been consistently painful over the years not to confide in your closest friends, especially when you know just how badly they’ve always wanted to give you the comfort you so desired. But tarnishing the couple’s view of their childhood best friend after all this time feels pointless and immature, and you know you would never be able to forgive yourself if this subsequently caused a rift between the trio. 
 “I don’t want to have to bring it up again…” Dina asks quietly. “But I just feel like I need to ask you this once more.” 
“What is it, babe?” You reply, already aware of the question that looms obviously and ominously. 
“Do you really believe that you’re not still in love with Ellie?” She inquires. 
“I only have that box in my closet because I didn’t want to keep it at home for my parents to find and make a big fuss over. They barely know of Ellie’s existence in my life.” You respond quickly, making a deliberate attempt to avoid giving her an actual answer. 
“But why do you still even have it in the first place?” 
“Just forgot I even had it in there, you know.” You shrug, getting up from the bed to approach your walk-in closet. “Like I said, it’s stuffed in with all this other shit I never touch anyway. Literally forgot it still even existed until you brought it out just now.” 
Dina watches as you evade her probing gaze by getting up from your position on the bed to rifle through your hung clothes in the closet. She always had an uncanny way of reading people’s emotions, no matter how deeply others attempted to conceal them. Unwilling to let her delve deeper into whatever feelings you had in regards to Ellie, especially right before a date-not-a-date with Abby, you select several random articles of clothing from your closet and hold them up in front of Dina’s face to view. 
“Okay, I feel like these are good contenders for tonight. Which one do you think is classy and fancy enough for Orchards?” 
Tumblr media
You take a nervous step through the cherry wood entrance that leads into Orchards, wearing a light purple dress with strappy, silver heels to match. You cling tightly to the tiny handbag between your hands like your life depends on it. Exhaling deeply with your old therapy breathing techniques, you approach the wooden podium stationed several feet from the doorway. 
“Hi, umm,” You utter nervously. “I-I’m still waiting for the rest of my party, but the reservation should be under ‘Anderson’ for 7 o’clock?” 
The host scans the booklet before finding Abby’s name on the list. 
“I-I can definitely wait until she gets here, though! I can hang out in the vestibule. I totally don’t mind at all—” You stammer before the host interrupts. 
“Oh, reservation for Miss Abigail Anderson? I see it right here. Your companion has actually already arrived just a few minutes ago..” 
“O-oh, okay!” You say surprised. “I-I had no idea.” 
“Not a problem, ma’am. She came not too long ago. I can show you to your table if you would like to follow me.” The host replies graciously, grabbing a menu from underneath the podium before escorting you further into the restaurant. 
You tail after him, trying desperately to keep the sound of your heels clicking to a minimum but nearly tripping in the process. 
The interior of the restaurant surpasses the quick glances you’d stolen in passing from the adjoining street. If you had been born and raised to be an upper-class socialite who frequented such fine dining establishments, you’re sure you’d have felt quite at home upon stepping into the place. The tables are all neatly set with white tablecloths and golden napkins folded precisely and neatly at the top of the plates. The maroon Fleur-de-Lis seating is all dimly lit by the modern beaded chandeliers hanging over the patrons. Servers skillfully weave throughout the place, all coordinated in their white button-down shirts and black slacks. Your tiny handbag nearly slips out of your icy grip from how slippery your fingers had gotten with sweat. 
The restless intimidation that the establishment so easily oozed is slightly soothed when you catch sight of a familiar smiling blonde woman standing next to a table by the windows. The anxiety you have been feeling since entering Orchards is then replaced with a different type of tension as your eyes meet Abby’s piercing sky blue ones. 
She’s wearing a muted green shirt with a pair of grey slacks. Her dirty blonde hair is in its usual braid, but it appears looser than it usually is. You try not to stare at the way her muscular arms bulge from her shirt, trying to avert your eyes elsewhere. 
When you reach the table and whisper a “thank you” to the host as he places your menu next to your plate before he walks away, you return Abby’s winning smile with a flustered one of your own. She holds an arm out for you to give her a small, one-armed hug in greeting. 
“Hey, Abs,” You say as you briefly embrace her. “Have you been waiting long? I thought you said we were supposed to be meeting at 7.” 
“Well, I technically made the reservation for 6:45.” Abby replies, grinning at you unapologetically. 
“What the hell, Abby!” You scold, playfully smacking her left bicep before reaching for your seat. 
“I just like being prepared and being earlier than other people.” Abby shrugs, holding her hand out to help you into your chair as she pulls it out for you. 
“Jesus,” You chuckle as you roll your eyes. “Has anyone ever told you how that’s kind of lunatic behaviour, Abigail?” 
Abby merely smirks as she pushes your chair in for you, you murmuring a thanks in response. 
“So, what do you think of the place?” Abby asks as she walks around the table to take a seat in her own chair. 
“For a date-or-not-a-date, this is very extravagant.” You point out. 
“Like I told you before, I’m a really good friend.” Abby shrugs again. “Am I not allowed to treat a friend to a nice, well-deserved dinner?” 
“Abby.” You chide. “There’s no way that I’m letting you pay the whole bill by yourself. I know that this is a pretty pricey place.” 
“Yeah, and I have the money for it. Get whatever you want, pretty girl. What’s the point of having money if you’re not going to spend it on other people?” 
You don’t say anything, settling for merely pursing your lips as you take the neatly folded golden napkin off your plate and place it on top of your lap. 
Orchards being a “four dollar sign” type of restaurant is a partial reason why you remained silent. Not coming from money as Abby does, you’d firmly decided prior to the dinner that you were going to order the cheapest appetizer on the menu as an entrée and that you’d drink nothing else but water. But knowing Abby, she’d order every single dish for you until you actually eat a proper meal, especially after her casual yet firm declaration. 
But as you open up your menu and nervously bite the inside of your cheek, Abby’s last words begin to ring inside your ears. 
“What’s the point of having money if you’re not going to spend it on other people?” 
This was a sentence and philosophy that those around Ellie knew her quite well for. Every food delivery, every coffee order, every glass of vodka cranberry was paid for with Ellie’s hefty dealer income. You didn’t bother arguing with her when it came to it, not towards the end, because it was a pointless fight she would win every time. Despite every eye roll you’d throw her way, your heart would flutter every time you’d get a glimpse of the small, secret smile Ellie donned each time she’d spend her money on someone else. As long as those she cared about were happy, Ellie was happy. 
To see the same kind of propriety in someone else disoriented you, especially someone who has been making her romantic intentions with you quite clear. It’s a trait you so admire in Abby, but a reminder of the auburn-haired woman on a date-not-a-date with another person still pierces something deep within your guts. 
Adamant on keeping your mind off of Ellie for the rest of the night, you busy yourself going through Orchards’ lavish menu. 
“Have you been here before?” You ask Abby as you scan the list of soups and salads. 
“Once,” She replies as she goes through her own menu. “My aunt and uncle brought me here last year for my birthday, and I haven’t stopped thinking about their truffle parmesan tots since.” 
“Yeah? They that good?” 
“Oh, most definitely. I was ready to make love to it right there and then on the table.” 
“Eww! Abby!!” You giggle, squinting your eyes and scrunching up your nose in simultaneous disgust and laughter. 
You and Abby spend the next few minutes on small talk as you finish deciding on your order. Abby is in the middle of telling you about how she nearly elbowed a teammate right in the jaw during her last rugby practice earlier in the week when your phone begins to vibrate from inside your tiny handbag. 
You keep your eyes focused mostly on your companion, intent on being present in the conversation, while your fingers silently fish your phone out of your purse. Your gaze briefly diverts to the lit screen, and your eyebrows furrow when you see that it’s Jesse who’s calling you. 
Quickly pushing down your power button to reject the call for now while you make a mental note to call him back later, you shove your phone back into your handbag. You lean forward further and place your hands underneath your chin to make a show of being attentive, but only a few seconds pass before your phone starts to pulsate within your purse again. 
Suppressing an obvious groan of simultaneous annoyance and concern, you attempt to ignore Jesse’s second call and instead try to listen to the rest of Abby’s story. But when her sky blue eyes distractingly fall onto your purse, you sigh dejectedly and reluctantly pull your phone out once again. 
“Sorry, sorry,” You desperately utter as you reject the call again. “It’s Jesse. Not sure why he’s calling me right now.” 
“You sure you don’t wanna pick up? Might be something important.” Abby asks, eyes full of honest concern. 
“Oh, it’s okay. I’ll just call him back after—” You begin to say as your phone vibrates for a third time, violently begging for immediate recognition in your hand. 
“Don’t worry,” Abby chuckles. “Go ahead and answer it. He’s your friend and I know he’s important to you.” 
“I’m so, so sorry, Abby,” You say, awkwardly scrambling out of your seat with your phone in your hand. “He never, ever calls me like this, so I swear that I’m just gonna see what’s up, and then I’ll come right—” 
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Abby interrupts, smiling. “I don’t mind at all, I promise. I’ll be right here. Take your time.” 
“You really are the best, Abs,” You sigh. “If the server comes around before I get back, could you get me the Caesar salad with Italian dressing?” 
Abby gives you another kind smile and nods. You give her a gracious look before dashing towards the direction of the restroom, purposely leaving your purse behind as an unspoken promise of your eventual return. 
You let out a heavy sigh after having swiftly glided through the restaurant and shut yourself in a unisex stall. Getting more nervous by the second, you immediately call the raven-haired man back. His delayed response begins to worry you further while you listen to seven agonizingly elongated rings before he eventually picks up. 
“Oh, hey, my dude! What’s up?” Jesse greets nonchalantly, slightly out of breath. 
“Wh-what—” You stutter, completely befuddled by his casual, unbothered tone. “Is everything all good? Are you okay? Why’d you call me?” 
“What? I didn’t call you.” 
“Jess, you called me like, fifty times just now.” 
“Wait, really? Hang on…” He mutters. “Oh, shit. Huh. I guess I did.” 
“Jesse!” 
“Sorry, dude! My fault for leaving my phone in my pocket while doing squats.” 
“Oh my g—I thought you were dying or something!” You gripe, sighing both in relief and annoyance. 
“Me? Die? Man, I’m indestructible,” Jesse proclaims. “No man can kill Jesse Chang.” 
“Jesus…” 
“Hey, I thought you were on a date, by the way?” 
“I am.” You point out, irritated. “Well, it’s not a date, but… whatever! I’m on it now!” 
“Then what are you doing calling me?” 
“You called me!” 
“Oh, yeah.” Jesse chuckles. 
“Dude!” You huff, clicking your tongue in indignation. 
“Hey, you’re listed as one of my favourite contacts. My phone was somehow compelled to communicate with you tonight for some mystical reason.” 
“I’m gonna kick your ass.” 
You suppress a chuckle at hearing Jesse’s genuine howls of laughter from his end of the line. 
“Alright, alright,” Jesse eventually says. “I’ll let you get back to it.” 
“Thanks.” 
“You’re doing alright, though?” Jesse suddenly asks, his lighthearted tone shifting to a more sincere one. “You feeling nervous?” 
“Always.” You admit. 
“You got this, man.” 
“I-I don’t know, Jess…” 
“Hey, you showed up, which means you’re halfway there already anyway.” 
“I know, I know. I just… I just can’t believe I’m on an actual date. I can’t believe that I’m actually doing this.” 
“I can. You are one foxy, amazing lady who deserves to be properly wined and dined.” 
“Okay, grandpa.” 
“There she is.” 
You allow yourself to chuckle this time, suddenly feeling grateful for Jesse’s accidental buttdials tonight. 
“Thanks, Jess. Needed that a bit, honestly.” 
“I know, bud. Call me or D afterwards? If Anderson isn’t too busy ploughing into you or whatever it is that you lesbians do in the LGBT community.” 
“Shut up!” 
Jesse cackles. 
“Yeah, I’ll call you guys right after.” You promise him. 
“Good. Now get back to your quote-unquote date and enjoy yourself.” 
“I’ll try.” 
“Do or do not. There is no—” 
“Don’t you fucking quote Star Wars to me, you nerd.” 
“Hey, but you recognized it. You’re the nerd.” 
“Whatever! I’ll call you after, grandpa!” 
“You better, young lady!” 
You and Jesse share a laugh. 
“Thanks, Jess. Have fun at movie night with D. Love you lots.” 
“Will do. Love you too, dude.” 
You murmur a farewell before ending the phone call. 
Leaning against the door of the stall and sliding down slightly, the comfort of hearing Jesse’s reassurances slowly dissipates as you think about Abby patiently awaiting your return at your table. You’d been so preoccupied with the anxiety of how the date-not-a-date itself would go that you hadn’t even spared a thought about the aftermath: how is the night going to end exactly? 
You gulp, suddenly aware of the way your silver heels are digging into your ankles. You feel guilty for even entertaining the thought of ending the night and running home to the embarrassing comfort of your bed.  
Why can’t I just fucking give in? Why am I stopping myself? Why am I so scared about how this night is going to end? 
The sound of someone else entering the restroom snaps you out of your thoughts and back into reality: the reality where you are on, what you need to admit to yourself, a date with an extremely handsome, charming woman who is willing to give you what you might just need from a romantic partner. 
A couple more minutes pass where you heavily abuse your breathing techniques before you finally find the courage to pry yourself off the door. You emerge from the stall just as your nameless powder room companion exits. 
You dare look at yourself in the mirror. Surprised to see a little bit of eyeliner smudged underneath your eyes, you quickly grab a paper towel to dab at it. 
Did I really just cry while I was on that phone call with Jesse? Christ, what the hell is wrong with me? 
You nearly poke yourself in the eye from frustration and stare at your tired reflection. The only thing that wills you to leave your restroom refuge is replaying Jesse’s supportive words of encouragement. 
He believes in me. Dina believes in me. 
With that and a heavy exhale, you finally depart the restroom. 
Tumblr media
As you finish off the last few crunchy croutons on your plate, you watch as Abby does the same with the French dish she’d ordered that you’d never heard of and had some weird-sounding name that you can’t pronounce. 
“You sure you don’t want dessert?” She asks you, setting down her spoon. 
“Abby,” You say sternly. “You already wore me down into getting an actual entrée and a glass of Moscato. You are not getting me dessert too.” 
“Dinner is just not complete without it!” 
“That is some rich people behaviour that I will not indulge in.” 
Abby laughs as you give her a half smile. In the back of your mind, you’re relieved that Abby’s evening wasn’t spoiled by your impromptu phone call and your slight shift in attitude that followed. She thankfully hadn’t noticed your fingers fiddling with your dress in your lap or your quiet but involuntary tapping of your right foot underneath the table. The more the evening progressed, the more anxious you became about the possibility of her eventually noticing your fidgeting. 
After the dessert flan she’d ordered is placed in front of her, Abby takes a small bite and lets out a moan of satisfaction. 
“I love me a good flan.” 
“That good, huh?” 
“Fucking amazing. Here, try some.” 
“Oh, no. You already tried to feed me your weird ass French dish from earlier. Besides, I’m way too stuffed already.” 
“All you ate was a Caesar salad!” 
“It was huge! It was Olive Garden-sized!” 
“Just have a bit of the flan!” 
“You ordered it! I don’t wanna eat something that you ordered for yourself!” 
“Come on, pretty girl. Just a bite!” 
You groan at her insistence. 
“You are absolutely ridiculous, Miss Anderson.” 
“Completely. Now open up.” 
You lean across the table as Abby meets you halfway with a piece of flan on a fork. She delicately places it on your tongue, her sky blue eyes meeting yours. 
Your throat swells up with nervousness and you feel short of breath as your chest tightens. You move to sit down from how dizzy you’re getting, but your eyes widen as Abby’s thumb suddenly brushes against your jaw. 
“Hang on. Some of it is dripping down.” 
Abby’s tongue involuntarily sticks out as she wipes away the syrupy caramel from your chin. Your eyes widen as your lips turn a shade paler than usual. 
Oh, god. Oh god oh god oh god. 
“U-uhh, um, th-thanks, Abs.” You stutter as you clumsily take your seat. 
“No problem,” Abby says, a corner of her lip cocking up in a half-smile. “Don’t need you all sticky.” 
 Your breath catches in your throat and you feel a tingle travel from the crown of your head all the way down to your heel-strapped ankles. Abby smirks slightly as she sips from her Old Fashioned, smugly leaning back into her chair. 
Oh, god. 
Tumblr media
Being the natural gentlemanwoman that she is, Abby holds the door open for you as you step out of Orchards and onto the street. 
“Ladies first.” She says playfully. 
“Oh, stop.” You chuckle. 
Abby grins as she gives the host by the podium a parting, thankful wave. 
Teetering back and forth on your feet and playing with the sound of clicking your heels were making, you nervously stare up at the night sky. When you had been making your way to Orchards earlier in the evening, the sun was still descending in the west and casting a beautiful, pink hue through clusters of cumulonimbus. Now, the sky is clear of any clouds, and the moon in its waning phase along with the constellations dimly light the quiet downtown area of this college town. 
Suddenly spotting a few celestial patterns that looked all too familiar from a face you’d been trying to put out of your mind all night, you tear your eyes away from the stars to meet Abby’s sky blue eyes. 
“H-hey,” You hesitatingly start. “Th-thank you for tonight. This honestly was really nice.” 
“Oh, yeah? I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” 
“I really did, Abs,” You smile. “I haven’t had a nice, ritzy night like this in a while. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever had a really fancy night like this before.” 
“That so? Might have to take you out on dates like this more often, if that’s the case.” She pauses for a second, the usual confident expression on her face fading to be replaced with one of uncertainty. “Or… well, not a date exactly—” 
“Abby.” You giggle. “This was clearly a date.” 
“Yeah? So you finally decided?” Abby asks, her usual swagger back. 
“We got all dressed up and went to a very nice, swanky restaurant. You insisted on paying the entire bill and everything.” 
“Hey, that’s what friends do.” 
“Are we?” You ask, turning to completely face her. 
“What?” 
“Friends? Just friends?” 
“Hmm…” Abby hums. 
She takes you by surprise as she pulls you closer towards her by the hips. You stumble on your heels, catching yourself by your hands on her sturdy chest. You look up, meeting her bright, blue eyes that contradict that of the starry, shadowy sky. Fingers involuntarily clutching at her shirt, you gulp an anxious whimper down your tight throat. 
“What do you want, pretty girl?” Abby whispers. 
Your fingertips grow cold against her chest. 
“I-I-I’m— I don’t—” 
“Oh, hang on. Hold still.” Abby suddenly says. 
Her hand comes up to your face and her long fingers gingerly brush against your nose. She pulls her hand back, clutching something in between her fingers. 
“Got a loose eyelash.” She says, holding up for you to see. “Make a wish.” 
You entertain her and firmly close your eyes. You try racking your brain for a wish worth making to immediately come to you, but no desire materializes. 
So instead, you ask the universe for a vague, ubiquitous wish: for it to divinely and kindly lead you down the right path. 
You open your eyes and softly blow the eyelash out of Abby’s fingers. You lose sight of it instantly as Abby parts her pointer and thumb to release it into the open air. 
Abby brings her hand up once more, this time to caress her fingers across your cheek. Every inch of your body suddenly goes up in flames, and you’re almost surprised that Abby hasn’t retracted her hand from the pure heat of it. 
“Thank you for coming out with me tonight.” She says seriously. 
“O-of course, Abs.” You whisper. 
“I know you’ve been hesitant about things, and I won’t pry on why—” 
“It’s really gonna nothing to do with you, Abs, I promise—“ 
“No, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me if you don’t want to. I don’t want to push you on it.” 
You swallow. 
“But I just want you to know,” Abby continues. “I do like you, you know. A lot. I think you’re seriously so smart and silly and so, so stunning .” 
“Abs, be serious—” 
“I am.” 
“Y-yeah?” 
“Yeah. So if you ever wanna give me a chance, I’m right here. I’m ready for anything you want.” 
You gulp. 
“I-I’m not sure… not sure if you’re ready for all this. All of me and my baggage.” 
She takes your face between both her hands. 
“I’m ready for anything, pretty girl.” 
Before you know it, Abby’s mouth is suddenly on yours, enveloping you in a kiss. It’s soft and gentle, like she’s deliberately being mindful of how she touches you. 
You’d expected this the second her skin made contact with yours, but your body still reacts in complete surprise. You don’t kiss her back just yet, everything in you completely stuck in place. Your hands have an impulse to push her away, but a voice inside you begins to cry out. 
Kiss her! Kiss her the fuck back! Kiss her now! 
Fingers finally moving from their frozen state and grasping at her chest, you begin to kiss her back with hesitant fervour. 
The second your lips begin to move with hers, her delicateness turns into zeal. Her hands fall back down to your hips, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you even closer. You can feel her heartbeat pounding next to yours, drums sounding together unsynchronized but thundering. You let out a sudden and soft moan, and Abby deepens the kiss. 
She parts her mouth slowly and you feel her tongue against your teeth. You whimper when she starts to suck on your bottom lip as a hand comes up to clutch your hair. As you wrap your arms around her neck, you open your mouth slightly to invite her in further. 
After what feels like hours of you two intimately intertwined, you break the kiss to catch a much-needed breath. 
You open your eyes to meet Abby’s sky blue ones, even brighter than they were before. Her smile is wider than you’ve ever seen it, emanating a radiant glow. 
 “Th-that was…” She began. 
“Y-y…” You try to say, but you can’t seem to find your voice. 
Her hand brushes against your cheek once more as you feel your throat begin to close up once more. 
W-wait. My throat. It’s actually— 
Before you can muster any words, you feel your breathing stop completely and the entire world suddenly goes black. 
Tumblr media
author’s notes:
BELLE FINALLY POSTING AFTER MONTHS OF NO NCTY?! A MIRACLE
thank you for bearing with me during these past couple of months. i know many of y'all have been waiting very patiently, and i hope this chapter was worth the wait!
in true belle fashion, orchards is named after a restaurant that already exists in the games
reader's ellie box is totally not inspired exactly by the box i used to have for my ex-girlfriend, described exactly the same way and contained a whole bunch of stuff like the tickets from when we went to moma and the playbill when we went to see waitress on broadway....
mentions of daisies is because they symbolize innocence (also one of my fave students is named daisy)
ahhh sploofs. such flashbacks to when i lived with live-in ex at her dormitory in college. those were so annoying to make.
reader's love for writing handwritten letter is inspired by my own love for it. i write my friends letters all the time and seal them with cute wax seals. i have like, at least 15 different wax seals and i love them all. yes i do have a fern wax seal too. also reader has a sunflower seal bc it is my fave flower
reader's dress is purple for symbolism cause purple sometimes represents anxiety which... mood
the truffle tots are just a fun little reference to these truffle tots that my live-in ex and i get every time we go to this one gay bar, that shit is so fucking good
more of reader and ellie's relationship bc i love jesse but also i think a show of a healthy, platonic relationship between a lesbian and a straight man is important
jesse's line about never dying is a little heehee reference to the game obvi but also him saying that no man can kill him is like that lord of the rings line where eowyn says "i am no man" cause abby is obviously a woman lol
abby is eating flan bc i love flan (leche flan to be exact)
heehee leave some theories in the notes or in y'all's tags on what happened to reader at the end
love y'all so so much. chapter 13 is mostly written so stay tuned for an upcoming update very soon...
taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, @ valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn, @uraesthete, @ softbunlvr, @cherriesxinthespring, @amitycat, @thefishymissy, @yevheniiaaaa, @machetegirl109, @bertandfearnie, @ximtiredx, @efam, @ elliesnumber1gf, @digit4lslut, @ tayyyystan, @emothurman, @ livvy-2000, @ abigaillovestoread, @gold-dustwomxn, @liabadoobee, @yuckyfucky, @qtefolleunpez, @libr4sonsa, @robinismywifee, @ villainousbear, @ scarlettadore, @vianna99, @g0n3girls, @totheblood, @embermdk, @awyunh, @kenz-ee, @marvelwomen-simp, @eleactric, @simpforellie, @jade-posts-sometimes, @ anxiouso, @nyrastar, @lillysbigwilly, @hopeless-y, @elliesbabygirl, @alexpritch, @thestarsanctuary, @aethelwyneleigh27, @ cass00x, @mulan-but-gay, @carmellie, @destielcore, @ tfuuka, @ellielover69, @ewwitsbella, @ igoferalforelliewilliams, @kissesforells, @ asteroidzzzn, @ 97cityy, @ joliettes, @ p1llowthoughtss, @ aouiaa, @ lez-zuha, @ ineffablefics, @ peepshake, @ lil-elliesgf, @ wex--12, @ ccinnamongrl, @ siriusblackrunmeover17, @ whenlostinthedarkness, @ feelsoseencantdream, @ bellasfavepansexual, @ mina-281, @ harrysslutsstuff, @ lil-elliesgf, @ p4ison1vy, @ eurewili, @ miksde
please note that i am no longer accepting requests to be added to the taglist, so if you would like to be notified when a new chapter comes out, please follow @ belleloves and turn notifications on!
453 notes · View notes