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duskandcobalt · 6 months

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Echoes in the Hallway - III

May I present to you, the third and final part* of Echoes in the Hallway 💕 If you missed the first two parts, you can find them linked in my Masterlist.

Thank you to everyone who has read this and provided so much encouragement and support - as a new writer, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

*I lied, I do have one last little chapter planned but it's more of a bonus chapter and will be able to be read separately from this series.

As always, please let me know what you think!

ENJOY XX

Read on AO3

7.6k words - a little bit of angst, a little bit of smut (you know the drill) (18+)

Azriel’s hands form fists at his sides as he fights the urge to reach for Elain’s trembling fingers and pull her back so he can slot her safely behind his body. He can’t see her face. She’s frozen in place, looking up at their High Lord, but he can sense her confusion, her sadness and anger. He can feel it all radiating from her small frame.

There have been very few times in his life where he struggled to keep up his defenses - that cold, impenetrable guise of indifference - but this was one of them.

He’d let himself get distracted.

He had been so absorbed in their blissful bubble, that he hadn’t been paying attention. The world could have been collapsing around them and he wouldn’t have noticed - not when all he cared about was the taste of her on his tongue and the sounds he was drawing from her body.

He should’ve known that Rhys was there. He should’ve picked up the scent, heard his footsteps. He shouldn’t have sent his shadows away when they tried to get his attention ten minutes ago.

He had failed. He could’ve kept this from happening. He could’ve protected her from this.

Two months of carefully sneaking her away so that they could have a moment to themselves and this is the worst possible way this could’ve gone. Two months of resisting having her completely and of course, of course, Rhysand had caught them together after they’d very clearly just spent hours in bed together.

His High Lord wouldn’t know that it had been for the first time.

In Rhys’ eyes, this would be all he needed to confirm that his suspicions were right. That Azriel had only been lusting after Elain. That all he wanted from her was sex. Even if that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Rhysand is still staring Azriel down, pure fury in his eyes, when the female in between them turns to face him.

Her beautiful features are pained, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Those perfect lips that had been moaning his name against his skin just moments ago, are now parted in shock.

“What does he mean?” Elain whispers. “Azriel? Tell me it isn’t true.”

Azriel is silent as her eyes flicker over his face. He can practically see the wheels in her head turn as she reads everything he’s left unsaid.

“That’s why you walked away that night.” She says it so quietly, almost like she’s saying it just to herself.

Her eyes widen slightly and he sees the flame spark behind her eyes, sadness and anger coming together to create fire. “You would’ve done it, you would’ve kissed me. You wouldn’t have pulled back… you said it was a mistake but you only stopped because he called you away?”

Azriel.

Just like that night, Rhys’ dark, authoritative voice is in his head. He’s pulling rank again, warning him - ordering him - not to speak.

Azriel can’t let this happen again, not when they’d made so much progress. He wouldn’t keep the truth from her this time.

“Yes.”

Elain’s shoulders sag. She releases a long breath and turns back to face Rhysand before Azriel can explain himself any further.

“You had no right, you had absolutely no right to do that.” She tells Rhysand.

…

“What’s going on?” Elain barely hears Cassian’s voice over the roaring in her ears. She only just registers that the Commander of Rhysand’s armies is now standing at the top of the stairs and surveying the scene in front of him, one of his arms bracketing Nesta’s waist to keep her behind him.

Elain pictures launching herself at Rhysand. Imagines crossing the little distance between them and banging on his leather clad chest until her fists bleed. She contemplates screaming and yelling until her throat is raw. She pictures shouting every single obscenity she’s never dared to say out loud, at him.

Her blood pulses through her veins, so hot and angry, that she feels like she may combust.

Everything that she thought she knew had just been pulled out from under her with that single sentence from Rhysand coupled with the simple, one word confirmation from the male that she’d just given everything to.

Azriel hadn’t just left that night because he was concerned that she had a mate. He had walked away because he’d been told to leave.

He’d been ordered to stay away from her completely by one of his oldest friends. Someone that he considered a brother. Someone that she had come to consider a brother because that was the level of trust that she had in Rhysand.

Elain doesn’t allow herself to launch at him, she doesn’t even let herself scream at him. She cannot stand to look at Rhys for another second. She tucks away her anger and turns from between the two males to walk swiftly down the hallway towards the stairs where Cassian and Nesta are still standing, both already dressed for the day in their training leathers.

Cassian is shocked as he watches her pass, his mouth agape as he glances between her and his brothers, no doubt trying to decide if he’ll need to interfere in a brewing altercation.

Her sister, however, doesn’t look nearly as surprised. Nesta’s eyes turn from angry to sad as she shifts her attention from Rhysand to Elain.

“Come.” She says quietly, gently taking Elain’s hand in hers and guiding her down the stairs without a word to anyone else.

Elain waits until she’s in the safety of her room before she collapses on the floor, shoulders heaving as she lets all the emotion flood out of her. Tears are streaming down her face when she feels Nesta’s lean, strong arms wrap around her, covering her body with her own. Her sister’s hands run over her as she murmurs into Elain’s hair.

She can’t hear anything Nesta says over the ringing in her ears but it’s a welcome comfort at least, to be in the reassuring embrace of the only person alive that has known Elain for every single day of her life.

…

Elain doesn’t know how long she’s been asleep for but she’s in bed when to the sound of her bedroom door opening and the gentle rustle of sheets as Nesta sits up next to her.

Cassian’s familiar scent drifts through the room and Elain keeps her eyes shut as she feels the mattress sink under his weight when he takes a seat at the very foot of her bed.

“Rhys went home.” He informs Nesta, keeping his voice low so as to not wake Elain. “He told Azriel to meet him in his office in a few hours.”

“How’s Az?” Nesta asks.

“I don’t know.” Cassian sighs. “He wouldn’t talk to me, not even after Rhys left. He’s probably flying around to blow off some steam… he’ll be there, though. To see Rhys. He gave his word.”

“This is ridiculous.” Nesta huffs. “Will your brother ever stop interfering in everyone else’s life? How is it any business of his who Azriel or Elain choose to spend their time with?”

Cassian doesn’t take the bait. Elain can tell from his voice that he’s dealt with enough confrontation for one morning.

“How’s she doing?”

“She hasn’t said anything, either.” Nesta sighs. “She’s exhausted. I don’t think she got much sleep, if any, last night.”

Elain’s cheeks heat and Cassian snorts.

“I can’t wrap my head around it. I mean… Az and Elain? ” He pauses, most likely waiting for Nesta to agree, to tell him that she didn’t see this coming either, but Nesta doesn’t say anything. “You knew?”

Elain tries her best to keep her breathing even as she awaits the answer.

“Yes.” Nesta admits. “I saw them in the garden one afternoon. Elain was watching Nyx. I thought I’d go spend the day with them since you were away but then Azriel was there and they were… I could just tell there was something between them. I left, neither of them knew I had been there.”

Elain thanks the gods above that she’s facing away from them because she cannot keep the surprise from her face. If she’s thinking of the same day, it would mean that Nesta had known about them for almost an entire month.

“You never told me.”

“It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

“But I’m your mate.”

“She’s my sister.”

Elain can’t see Nesta’s face but she can picture the exact scathing look she’d be giving Cassian. She knows she’s right when Cassian doesn’t argue the point any further.

“I’ll leave you to it, I have to go to the River House.” The bed shifts as he stands. Elain hears him lean over and kiss Nesta before he makes his way to the door. “Rhys has put me in charge of finding somewhere else for Lucien to be before Azriel shows up this evening. Her scent is all over him and probably will be for days. If Lucien sees him…”

“You think he’d do something?” Elain can hear the concern in Nesta’s voice.

“She’s his mate - he’d react on instinct. Even then, he still wouldn’t stand a chance against Az. He’d be dead before he could land a single punch.”

Cassian leaves, shutting the door behind him and a shudder runs through Elain at the thought of the two males physically fighting. She didn’t want it to come to that. She had no desire to be the reason one of them ended up injured, if not worse.

“I know you just heard all of that.” Nesta swats Elain’s back.

Elain turns, finally opening her eyes only to see Nesta looking down at her with raised eyebrows. “You knew?”

“When I told you that I knew you came here last night because of him, I didn’t mean Lucien.” Nesta gives her a pointed look. “You may be the Seer of the family, Elain, but I know you. I’ve seen the way you look at Azriel when you think no one’s watching.”

“I really care about him, Nes.” Tears prick at the corner of Elain’s eyes. She presses a hand to her pounding heart. “I… I can’t explain it but I know in my soul that he’s it for me.”

“Tell me.” Nesta turns her body to face Elain and takes her hand. “Tell me everything.”

So Elain does.

She tells Nesta about Solstice and how she felt in the months that followed. Tears are flowing freely as she tells her sister exactly how her feelings for Azriel had developed over the years but especially over the past couple of months. Elain fills Nesta in on almost every single detail that led up to last night, stopping at her decision to make her way to Azriel’s room.

“So last night was the first time you two had sex? Really?” Nesta’s lips turn up into a cunning grin. “I’m impressed you held out for that long.”

She knows this is Nesta’s attempt at lightening the mood and it works. Heat rises to Elain’s cheeks as she nods.

“How was it?” Nesta’s icy blue eyes shimmer with amusement.

“How do you think?” She covers her face with her hands, suddenly shy.

Nesta’s hands wrap around her wrists, prying them off so she can see Elain’s face.

“If the wingspan thing is actually true, I’m surprised you can even walk today.” Nesta erupts in laughter and Elain can’t help but join in. A memory from the night before of Azriel asking if she could take more makes her face and chest flush bright red.

The two sisters double over as they laugh, clutching each other’s hands, and Elain is thankful for the distraction as all the stress of the past few hours dissolves for just a moment.

…

Azriel storms out of Rhys’ office towards the balcony, blatantly ignoring his High Lady as she tries to stop him. He’ll apologise to her later for his abruptness but for now all he can do is launch himself into the sky, flying higher and higher, until the clouds completely block the city below.

One week.

From tomorrow morning, Rhys was sending Azriel away for an entire week on some bullshit mission to the continent.

Rhysand hadn’t even given Azriel an opportunity to explain himself. He had simply fixed him with a glare that had become all too familiar, not even bothering to stand when Azriel walked into the room before he proceeded to give him strict instructions on what information he expected the Spymaster to seek.

It was a task that was so obviously beneath him, something that normally would have been assigned to one of the spies in Azriel’s network. It couldn’t have been clearer that it was a poorly disguised excuse to put distance between him and Elain as a punishment for going against his High Lord’s orders.

The only ounce of sympathy had come from Feyre who had looked at Azriel with such sad eyes from where she had stood next to Rhys. Still, she hadn’t said anything to contradict her Mate’s orders even if it was clear from her expression that she disagreed with his approach.

“I care about her, Rhys.” Azriel had told his brother a minute before he walked out. “Whether you believe me or not, I care for Elain. Keeping us apart isn’t going to change that.”

And then, though he shouldn’t have, he had turned to Feyre just before he stepped onto the balcony. “Did he tell you what he said to me on Solstice? Did my brother tell you that he told me to go to a pleasure house? As if that’s all I wanted from Elain? As if that’s all your sister is good for?”

He couldn’t get the way Feyre’s face had fallen out of his head. His emotions had gotten the best of him but he had to say something. He had to let her know. Rhys had gotten away with too much for too long and it was a low blow, but it was a last second attempt to get Feyre on his side.

Azriel would take his High Lord’s order. He’d go on this ridiculous mission, he’d bring back whatever pointless information he’d been asked for. He’d stay away for a week that he knew would all but kill him. He’d do it all, but he needed to take care of something else first.

Rhysand hadn’t given him any direct orders as to where he could or could not be tonight and that was all Azriel needed before making his decision.

…

Azriel takes a deep breath as he stands outside Elain’s door.

He’d spent most of the day flying around to delay the inevitable before he finally returned to the House of Wind just as the sun began to set, stopping in his chambers only to bathe quickly before he made his way downstairs to her floor.

He raises his hand to knock and is surprised to hear the musical sound of feminine laughter through the door just as his fist makes contact with the wooden surface.

When he cracks open the door and peers inside, Elain is seated at her vanity and Nesta stands behind her, brushing her younger sister’s hair. They both turn to face him, their laughter dying down at the sight of him even though Nesta has a suspiciously amused look on her face and the remnants of a blush stain Elain’s cheeks.

“Sorry to interrupt.” He opens the door fully and takes one single step into her room. “Can we talk?”

Elain remains frozen in place as she stares at him but Nesta leans over and sets the brush down on the vanity. She bends at the waist, whispers something in Elain’s ear and stands back up after a dip of Elain’s chin.

She gives Elain’s shoulder a squeeze and then approaches Azriel.

Nesta peers up at him, her amused expression turning into something more serious as she pokes his chest with a single finger. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Shadowsinger.”

She doesn’t wait for him to reply before she slips out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Azriel walks over to Elain, picks up the brush that Nesta had been using and gestures for Elain to turn back towards the mirror.

He turns the brush in his hands as he assesses her.

She’s also freshly bathed. Her hair is still damp, a few shades darker than usual, though the golden highlights that run through it are just starting to show through as the strands begin to dry. She’d changed out of her silky blue slip and into a much more demure cotton nightgown.

Azriel gently drags the brush through her hair from root to tip, just to have something to do with his hands.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers finally, swallowing down the rush of emotions that threaten to consume him when he meets her eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“You lied to me.” He hates the way her chin wobbles as she looks at him.

“I’m sorry.” He repeats. “I wish I had done things differently.”

“Did you mean any of it?” Elain asks. “Everything that you said about him being better for me… did you actually mean it or were you just covering for Rhys?”

Azriel continues brushing her hair, focusing his attention on combing out any tangles as he gathers his thoughts.

“I meant it all, Elain.” He says earnestly. “The only thing I didn’t tell you is that I wouldn’t have walked away on Solstice if Rhys hadn’t called me away. But everything else is true. There’s so much tension between the courts and our involvement could have insurmountable impacts because of your mating bond.”

Azriel sees her sit up straighter at that, ready to argue with him once again. He places a gentle hand on her bare shoulder. His thumb strokes over her soft skin, silently asking her to let him continue. “I was willing to overlook it. I told Rhys that I would fight for you. That I would win… he didn’t like that very much. He thinks it’s just lust. He thinks I’m just trying to seduce you.”

Elain’s jaw drops and she laughs.

“That’s ridiculous.”

Azriel sets the brush down as she turns on the bench to face him. “The way he caught us this morning wouldn’t have helped.”

He can’t help the way his eyes fall to her neck. To the already fading splotches of purple in the shape of his lips that decorate her skin.

“Cassian said you went to meet with him this afternoon?” Elain’s fingers come up to graze over the spot where his eyes linger.

Azriel nods, forcing his attention back up to her face. “He didn’t say anything about us. He just… he’s sending me away for a week.”

“And you’re going?”

“It was an order… I don’t have a choice.” He sighs.

“So that’s it, then?” Elain stands up, her arms at her sides. “You’ve just come to say goodbye?”

“It’s just a week.” Azriel attempts a small smile.

“What if it isn’t just a week?” Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears as she looks up at him.

He sees the unspoken plea in the depths of them, begging him to do anything but leave. But he has to go, he has to let Rhys win just this once. He has to play his cards right if he wants even a chance at making this work without having to keep it a secret.

Azriel takes her face in his hands, presses his lips to her forehead. “I’m sorry.”

It’s all he can say before he makes his way towards the door. His fingers are just about to twist the doorknob when Elain speaks.

“Stay.” Her voice makes her sound so small. “Don’t go.”

Azriel almost turns to look at her but he can’t do it. Can’t bear to see the yearning and disappointment that he knows will be written on her face. So he turns the handle, walks out of the room, and leaves her standing alone once again.

…

He gets all the way to his room, all the way to his bed, when he glances at his bedside table and sees the objects laying there. The items that he’s looked at every night as he attempted to find sleep for the past two years.

It’s the sight of the headache powder that makes him realise what a colossal idiot he’s been.

It’s the thoughtfulness behind that gift that has his feet moving on their own accord, carrying him back down the stairs and straight into her bed chambers without so much as a knock on her door.

Elain’s head whips to face him from where she’d been leaning over her bedside, just about to blow out the candle on her nightstand. Her eyes are wide with shock and there are tears staining her face as she sits up on her knees and silently watches as he approaches her.

Azriel’s chest heaves as he slowly walks towards her bed, maintaining eye contact with her all the while. He relies on his eyes to convey everything he can’t say out loud.

That he’s sorry. Sorry that it has to be like this. Sorry that he’d left her like that again.

He lets her see how much he wants her, how much he wants this. Even if he’s leaving tomorrow. Even if this ended up being the last time.

She was worth it. She would always be worth it.

Not a single word is exchanged as Elain reaches up for him, grasping his face between her hands and pulling him down towards the bed. Her lips part for him as his body settles easily over hers.

Azriel kisses her with everything he has while Elain’s fingers fumble with the soft fabric of his shirt, dragging it up and over his head with some assistance from him until she can get her hands on his bare skin.

Her touch is searing against his body, her movements frantic as she tries to rid him of his pants.

“Slow.” Azriel takes her shaking hand in his, brings it to his lips and kisses her palm. “We have time.”

Elain looks at him and he holds her gaze until her breathing calms and she nods. Only then, does he kiss her again.

He takes his time dragging her nightgown up her body, his lips brushing every inch of perfect skin that’s revealed to him as he pushes it up, up, up until his mouth is on her breast and she’s tugging her dress off the rest of the way.

Her hands entwine themselves in his hair, holding him close to her as his tongue swirls and flicks over her peaked nipples. He moves down, his lips never leaving her skin, taking her with him until her back is flat against the mattress and her thighs are slung over his shoulders.

Azriel groans against her core when his tongue slides along her sex only to find that she’s already so wet for him. Her arousal covers his lips, his chin, his nose, as he settles between her legs and works her with his tongue and teeth until her thighs are clamping around his head, holding him in place as her first orgasm wracks through her body.

Her legs have yet to cease trembling before she’s guiding him back up to her and covering his mouth with hers. She places a small hand on his chest, pushes him down onto his back and kneels beside him. Azriel doesn’t have a chance to utter even a single word before she has his pants off and her tongue slides up the entire length of him.

He reaches down, gathering the curtain of her hair in one hand so that he can see her. So that he can watch in awe as those beautiful pink lips wrap around him, her cheeks hollowing, her tongue swirling and licking as she takes as much of him as she can. Her fingers wrap around the base to compensate for what doesn’t fit.

He feels his cock throb against her cheek and he lightly tugs on her hair. Elain takes his cue, pulling off of him and ever so delicately wiping her mouth. Her swollen lips turn up in an innocent smile that sends every nerve in his body into overdrive with the undeniable need to be inside her. His hands land on her waist, supporting her as she places a knee on either side of his hips, straddling him. She takes him in her hand and lines him up at her entrance before sinking down just enough to envelop the head of his cock.

Azriel curses at the feel of her sex, so warm and wet and impeccably tight, around him as she takes him further and further until he’s seated deep inside her. He grips her hips, fingers digging into her soft skin as he guides her back and forth, helping her rock against him until she’s found a rhythm.

He can’t take his eyes off of her. He delights in the way her lips part with pleasure, the way the candlelight catches the thin layer of sweat on her skin and makes her glow. She’s so unbelievably beautiful that he cannot believe how lucky he is, how utterly blessed he is, to bear witness to her on top of him. To watch as she derives her pleasure from him.

Elain rides him slow and steady, her breasts rising and falling in time with her hips as she sinks down on him over and over again, her walls clenching around him each and every time. Azriel doesn’t know how much longer he can possibly hold it together.

He wraps an arm around her waist, holding her in place as he shifts them both up so his back is against the headboard and her chest is against his. Her nipples slide against his skin each time he thrusts up into her. His arm stays wrapped firmly around her waist while his other hand threads through the hair at the nape of her neck, gently craning her head back until her eyes are on his.

He holds her there, his eyes locked on hers, as he picks up his pace and angles his hips slightly to hit the spot that has her falling apart with a sharp cry of his name just a minute later. Azriel follows, letting himself go with a whisper of her name as he comes inside her. Elain buries her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder and he feels the cool dampness of her tears against his heated skin.

She makes no move to lift off of him, only melts further into his body as he pulls her tighter against him. Azriel holds Elain close as she cries in his arms, his eyes squeezing shut against the feeling of his heart shattering in his chest.

…

I’m always thinking of you.

Elain studies the small scrap of paper with the carefully written message that Nuala had quietly slipped into her hand while they prepared dinner together ten days ago.

The note is creased, the paper worn thin from the amount of times she’s unfolded it to read the words over and over again. Those five words are all that keeps her tethered to the earth these days but if she keeps this up, the ink will fade and she’ll have nothing left.

Just as she had feared, what was supposed to be a week apart had somehow turned into almost four.

Twenty-five days have passed since she had woken up to an empty bed, her hands blindly reaching out only to find her sheets cold where his warm body should have been.

Twenty-five days and other than this singular note in her hands, Elain had not seen or heard from Azriel.

She had also hardly seen their High Lord despite living under the same roof.

It was evident that Rhysand was doing everything in his power to avoid her. He made excuses to have his meals at different times, he had mysterious meetings that would come up the second Elain stepped foot into the room. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think it was guilt that made it impossible for him to look into her eyes.

Even Feyre had been tiptoeing around her, carefully avoiding bringing up any topic that could possibly lead back to Azriel. Elain knew her sister felt terrible about the situation, that her regret over her Mate’s actions and orders meant that she couldn’t be around Elain for more than five minutes unless they had Nyx in between them as a barrier.

Elain decided that she’d finally had enough when she woke up this morning with fire in her veins. It’s what had her reading that note one last time, folding it neatly and sliding it back into the top of her dress, before she stormed upstairs and let herself into Rhysand’s office.

He’s in the middle of a meeting with Cassian when she barges in, both their heads turning quickly at her interruption.

Rhysand looks at her as if he’d been expecting this to happen eventually. Cassian watches on in silence.

“Call him back, Rhys.” Elain spits out, not bothering with any niceties.

“Elain…” Rhys starts, taking a deep breath.

“Call. Him. Back.” Elain enunciates each word. “I want him back here within the next two days or I swear on the Mother, I will find my way to Autumn Court and cause a scene like you wouldn’t believe.”

Cassian swears under his breath at her threat, obviously taken aback by her unexpected tenacity. Rhys remains looking at her with that infuriating, unwaveringly calm expression that’s so similar to Azriel’s, plastered on his face.

“I want a meeting with you and Feyre as soon as he’s back. Cassian, you can come too.” Elain’s voice is strong even though she feels like she’s about to crumble into dust on the inside. “Invite Nesta. Invite the whole godsdamn circle. I want this done formally since you think this is such a big deal.”

“He’s coming back tonight.” Rhys says finally, brushing something Elain can’t see from his sleeve. “You both are so very dramatic for being the two quietest people in this house.”

Elain ignores that remark. “He’s coming back? Tonight?” And then because she doesn’t trust Rhys quite like she did before, she turns to Cassian for confirmation. “Really?”

“Really.” Cassian nods, an inkling of a smile on his lips.

The ache in her chest eases just enough for her to take her first proper breath in what feels like weeks.

Tonight. He’d be back tonight and then they could finally put this all to rest.

Hope ignites like a flame low in her stomach as she leaves Rhysand’s office but Elain squashes it, shoves it down until it’s nothing but a tiny, burning ember because hope was a dangerous thing for her to have.

…

Elain does her best to calm her racing heart as she stands in Rhys’ office, her arms crossed over her chest as if to keep her heart within her body, as she waits for Azriel to arrive so that this meeting can commence.

Feyre is perched on the corner of the desk where Rhys sits, mindlessly flipping through whatever papers are in front of him. Nesta and Cassian are squished together on a loveseat off to the side, his large, siphoned hand heavy on her knee as if to hold her in place. Most likely in case Rhys says one wrong thing and she lets her emotions get the best of her. Something that wasn’t completely out of the question given the way she was currently staring at him with daggers for eyes.

Other than a few initial greetings, no one has said a word. The tension in the air is palpable and Elain feels like every inch of her skin is on fire. It’s a sensation that only gets worse when the doors leading to Rhys’ office open and Azriel finally enters the room.

His eyes find hers immediately, softening as they travel up and down her body, devouring her with his eyes just as she’s doing to him.

The sight of him knocks the air out of her, like it usually does. He’s beautiful, dressed in well tailored gray slacks and a simple white shirt. There isn’t a single weapon on him other than Truth-Teller strapped to the belt slung around his hips.

After going so long without seeing him, it’s only practice from months of pretending that they were nothing more than acquaintances that allows her to drag her gaze from his without launching herself into his arms and showing everyone in this room just how much she wanted him.

Azriel walks further into the room but carefully maintains the excruciating distance between them, as if standing too close to her would have Rhys sending him back to wherever he just came from.

“Okay.” Rhysand breaks the silence, standing up and walking around to the front of his desk. He leans against it, his arms cross at the same time one ankle crosses over the other. “Let’s hear it.”

“I won’t stay away from her any longer.” Azriel’s words collide with Elain’s when she speaks at the same time.

“I want you to tell me why you called him away on Solstice.”

Rhys’ eyes flicker between them and the way he sighs, as if he had a million other things he’d rather be doing, makes Elain see red.

“I called him away that night because it would have been incredibly stupid for him to kiss you.” He chooses to respond to Elain. “Both of you seemed to have forgotten that your mate was in the same house.”

“My mate,” Elain repeats his words through clenched teeth, “has nothing to do with this.”

Rhys’ eyes light as he stands up a bit straighter, fully engaging in the conversation.

“Your mate has everything to do with this.” His voice is firm. “I will not risk the safety of my Court, of my people, because my Spymaster decided to seduce you.”

“Seduce me?!” Elain’s eyebrows raise. To hear it from Azriel was one thing, but hearing it confirmed from Rhysand hurt in a way she hadn’t expected. “As if I’m so naive that I could be swayed because of what…? Sex? Do you truly think so little of me?”

“That’s not it, Elain.” Rhys replies, patiently.

“So what is it, then? You think he isn’t capable of pursuing anything except sex? That he couldn’t possibly be interested in me for anything else? That he isn’t capable of actual feelings? Of wanting more for himself?” Elain pauses, “He’s one of your oldest friends and yet you have no idea what he wants.”

“You have no clue what you’re talking about.” Rhys shakes his head, his voice darkening. “I have known him for centuries. You have known him for a few years.”

“Watch your tone.” Azriel’s warning sends a shiver up Elain’s spine but Rhysand only turns to the Shadowsinger with a smirk on his lips.

“What do you have to say, brother?”

“I have fought you on very few things in my life, Rhys.” Azriel takes a step forward and Elain catches Cassian sitting up straight out of the corner of her eye. “I’ve obeyed your orders even when I’ve disagreed with them, but I have to put my foot down on this. I will not stay away from her any longer.”

“What do you want me to do, Azriel?” Rhys laughs. “I may as well set Prythian on fire myself because that’s where this is all headed if Beron or Eris gets word of this. They’ll take any excuse to act and you know it.”

“I will not be used as a pawn in your political game.” Elain interrupts before Azriel has a chance to reply. “You have ruled this court for almost your entire life. You have won wars. You have kept your people safe for centuries. There has to be another way. I am begging you to find another way. This is my life, Rhys. I won’t let you interfere with what I want and Azriel is what I want.”

“You haven’t even tried with Lucien!” Rhys raises his voice and Feyre’s hand lands on his arm as she glares at him, silently telling him to calm down.

“I have no desire to try with Lucien.” Elain maintains her composure. “I am glad that the mating bond worked out for you. I’m glad it worked for Nesta and Cassian but my sisters had time to fall in love before they even knew about the bond. They had a choice. I deserve one, too.”

“I can’t allow this.” He shakes his head. “I cannot risk everything because the two of you are incapable of keeping your hands off each other.”

“Rhys.” Feyre breaks her silence, sighing. “We’ve discussed this.”

Elain watches as Rhys and her sister exchange words in a conversation only they can hear.

“Let me show you.” Elain’s patience slips and the words are out before she can think about what she’s just offered. “You think this isn’t serious, you think it’s just lust… let me show you that it isn’t.”

“Elain.” Azriel turns to her, his eyes wide. “Don’t.”

It’s an invasion of their privacy. She knows it and she hates it but it’s a necessary evil. She’d give up the moments that were supposed to be just between them, she’d let Rhys see them if it meant they could have a future. “It’s the only way, Azriel. I don’t know how else to make him believe it. To make him believe us.”

“Rhys, this is unnecessary.” Azriel pleads with his brother.

Even Feyre speaks up, quietly whispering to her Mate to rethink this. But Elain can tell that his interest is piqued. This could be their only opportunity.

“I’ll show you.” Nesta stands, pushing Cassian’s hand off her lap. “I saw them one day. I’ll show you.”

Rhys, Feyre, and Azriel all turn towards her - disbelief clear on all their expressions.

“No.” Elain remains firm, turning to her sister and giving her a soft smile. She appreciates the effort but she knows it won’t be enough. “He needs to see it from my perspective.”

She faces Rhys once more and repeats herself. “Let me show you.”

Rhys closes his eyes for half a second but nods once.

Elain opens the gates to her mind when Rhys asks for access and then she begins to pull memories, letting him see and feel everything just as she had.

She starts at the very beginning - let’s him experience that initial flutter of interest that she’d felt the very first time she met Azriel. She lets him see the glimpses of all the quiet conversations they had, lets him feel the relief that had flooded her body when she saw him walk into the tent in Hybern’s camp. She summons memories of the way he’d been the only source of light in her life during her darkest days, the moment he’d been the one person to see her for what she was when even her Mate had failed.

She shows him the memory of Solstice and the aftermath that followed, the countless nights that she spent crying herself to sleep as she tried to figure out what had gone wrong.

Elain brings Rhys into what was possibly the most emotionally vulnerable moment of her life - that first night in the hallway where she’d confronted Azriel and laid her whole heart out in front of him. She made sure that Rhys saw that she’d been the one to instigate the conversation, made certain that he heard how Azriel had tried to do what he had once thought was right.

She pulls memories of the way Azriel looked at her, the softness and reverence in his eyes and voice as they exchanged whispered words in closets and garden sheds. She shows him the way he relaxes around her - the way he laughs, the way he smiles, the gentleness with which he touches her.

Elain shows him that very last night - the affection in Azriel’s eyes as he watched her in the early hours of the morning before she’d fallen asleep. She lets him see the way he’d wiped the never ending tears from her eyes and held her close, whispering promises that he’d always find his way back to her.

She lets Rhys view and feel it all. Each intimate moment that couldn’t be written off as just simple physical attraction. She lets him into every moment that should’ve been just between her and Azriel, allows him to feel that light between them that neither of them had ever been able to explain.

It’s so emotionally exhausting to go through it all that her knees practically give out when she finally retreats from her mind. It’s only Nesta’s arm around her waist that keeps her standing.

Elain can’t keep her hands from trembling as she looks up at Rhys. She doesn’t dare look over at Azriel.

She can’t get a read of Rhysand’s face as he stands in front of his desk. There isn’t even a hint in his expression that she’s just shared some of her most cherished and vulnerable moments with him.

It feels like hours before he moves even a muscle but her breath hitches when she sees the slightest tick of his jaw.

“You love her.” He pivots to Azriel. It’s a statement, not a question. But he still looks at his Spymaster for confirmation.

Nesta’s grip tightens around Elain’s waist. She still can’t bring herself to look at him so she keeps her eyes on Rhys, only breaking to look once at Feyre, who’s tear lined gaze shifts from Elain to Azriel as she too, awaits his answer.

“I’ve been in love with her for ages.” His voice is barely a whisper but his words are assured. Elain can’t help the whimper of relief that escapes her as she gives in and looks over to him only to see that his hazel eyes are already on her.

“Gods.” Rhys mutters under his breath. “This is to stay within this house. Not a single person outside of the Inner Circle can know about this. Certainly not her Mate. Not until we figure out how to handle this.”

Rhys gives Azriel a long pointed look before returning his attention to Elain.

She fights the urge to make a comment about how they’d done a damn good job of keeping things a secret from him these past few months but she holds her tongue lest he change his mind.

“You’ll still be expected to appear next to Lucien in public. Whether you agree with me or not, this is a serious matter that will backfire if it isn’t handled correctly.”

“Okay.” Elain nods quickly, her fingertips begin to itch with anticipation.

“Okay.” Rhys says, begrudgingly.

“Really?” Elain can’t keep the hope out of her voice, nor can she stop the tears of relief that pool in her eyes.

“Yes.” The words are barely out of his mouth before she turns and crosses the room, practically sprinting towards Azriel.

…

Azriel catches her easily, his arms winding tight around her waist as he lifts her off the ground. Her dress is a whirlwind of colour around them as he spins her once.

He can hardly believe it. It doesn’t feel real to hold her like this in front of everyone after months of only having her in secret. She’d sacrificed so much for this, given up parts of herself to fight for this. For them. He didn’t know how he’d ever convey how much what she had just done meant to him. He didn’t know if he’d ever fully forgive Rhys for letting it go that far but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind, in favor of focusing on the beautiful female currently in his arms.

“I love you.” Azriel murmurs, staring deep into her eyes as he says the words directly to her for the very first time. He leans into her touch when she places both of her hands on either side of his face and looks down from where he’s still holding her off the floor and against his body. “I love you, Elain.”

“I love you.” She cries, dipping her head down to bring her lips to his.

Azriel sets her down, his arms stay safely around her as he kisses her back. It’s soft and slow and entirely too intimate given their surroundings. But for once in his life, he doesn’t care. He pays no mind to Rhysand taking a seat at his desk, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He hardly sees Feyre standing next to him with a bright smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

It’s a relief to have her like this. It’s a weight off his shoulder to no longer have to hide, at least not within these walls. He was well practiced in keeping secrets, but it had killed him to bring into this. To have her hide a whole part of her life from her sisters. To have her live in the shadows with him when she was such a bright light on her own.

Azriel knows there’s more to be done. That they still aren’t in the clear. That they may never be in the clear. He knows that there’s more at risk, that so many things could go wrong. But the risk was worth it for the reward of knowing that Elain was his.

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