#eldest daughter therapist

[shellem15]

Thinking about the Dawnfather. A god of light, a god of harvest, a god of the sun itself. Good but not nice, kind but not soft. Life-giving but also scorching. Protective, warm, and kind, but also stern, harsh, and abrasive. His light can foster growth, can protect and guide, but it can also scorch and burn. The sun is warm and nurturing but don’t stare at it too long, child, it’ll blind you.

Was he always so hard? Did he always hide his face with the harsh light of the sun? Or was there a time when he smiled and laughed, let others see him as he truly was?

Thinking about the Schism. Was the Dawnfather close to the Betrayer Gods before they turned? He must have been, Asmodeus wouldn’t be so hung up on him if he wasn’t. Speaking of Asmodeus, he was once a being of light, like the Dawnfather and the Everlight are now. Were they closer than the others? When the Gods came to Exandria, did they come from the same place or were they scattered, a ragtag group of survivors fleeing from predators seeking to devour them? And if the latter is true, did these three beings of light come from the same place? Siblings, born from the same stuff, forever tied to one another?

If this was the case, then, what was their relationship before the Schism? Did they call each other “Brother” and “Sister”? Did they hold each other when they were scared, dry each other’s tears, laugh and joke and tease and fight and make up because they were siblings and they’d always be together, and they loved each other with every fiber of their being and they only had each other. When Predathos came, when it devoured two of their newfound siblings, did the Dawnfather hold them both and promise them that everything was going to be okay because he was their brother and he was going to protect them, all of them. The gods, mortals, the world itself, they would not be devoured, they would not be destroyed, because he was there and would fight until his very last breath to keep them safe.

Wondering then, was that the moment when Asmodeus truly grew to hate their creations? Seeing his brother and sister and siblings risk their lives just to protect some mewling mortal wretches when they could just leave it all behind and start somewhere new. Was that the moment when he realized that mortals had done something to them, changed them when they were not supposed to change. Why else would they risk being devoured by Predathos, why else would they suffer through war with the Primordials? Why else would they choose them over him!? Was this the moment when he decided to conspire with the Primordials and the other Betrayer Gods? To destroy this world and the mortals on it so they could finally leave. And they would leave, of course, because the Dawnfather was his brother and the Everlight was his sister and the Gods were a family, and at the end of the day, they would always be together, and once the corrupting influence of those mortals was gone, they would surely all see reason.

And when the Dawnfather discovered this betrayal, when all the Prime Deities did, he must have been furious. How could they!? His kin, his brother, who had always been by his side through everything, how could they turn around and destroy their creations, their children. And so he and the other Primes took up arms and fought against their own family to protect this world they had created, and their children who inhabited it. Those battles must have been brutal, bonds of comradery broken, kin clashing against kin, screaming curses as they tore each other apart.

During those final battles of the Schism, when the Dawnfather clashed against Asmodeus, did they scream at each other in rage? A twisted reflection of previous squabbles, different because this time it was real, this time there is no forgiveness, no making up. When the Dawnfather knocked Asmodeus down, crushed his throat under his foot and banished him to the Hells, was he yelling when he disowned him? Or was he quiet when he did it, his voice going into a low growl, deadly calm as he told him that he was not his brother anymore. And moments previously, when the Dawnfather could have easily killed him, did he look into Asmodeus’s eyes and see his brother? Scared and hurt by his hands, hands that once held him and swore to protect him. In that moment, did the Dawnfather realize he couldn’t kill him? Because that was his brother and despite everything, he still loved him, and hurting him brought him more grief and pain than he could ever imagine. So instead, he banished him, locked him and all the other Betrayers away because he and the other Primes couldn’t bring themselves to kill their family, but they also couldn’t let them free.

Was this when the Dawnfather obscured his face? Hardened his heart because otherwise he would break, and he cannot break, because the other gods need him to be strong, because Exandria needs him to be strong. And so he stayed strong, despite the grief, despite the guilt, despite the pain of heartbreak, of hurting the ones he loved to protect the ones he loved. And this hardening must have continued, running himself ragged during Calamity, beating back Tharizdun, protecting Ioun after she almost died, sheltering the Everlight after Asmodeus once again betrayed her, stabbed her in the back and left her broken and weak when all she wanted was to do was get her brother back, to save him from his own wrath. Failure after failure after failure to protect those he cared about, to protect his siblings and mortals and Exandria itself. The guilt of his failures must be overwhelming, and these are his failures: Predathos devoured his siblings under his watch, his siblings betrayed them under his watch, Calamity ravaged Exandria under his watch, and even now, the threat of Predathos has once again returned under his watch.

No wonder he is so harsh now, so controlling now: because every time he has failed in his vigilance the world has suffered for it. He can’t fail again; he can’t lose any more siblings. And so, he continues hardening his heart, continues fighting, because the sun must always rise again in the morning, no matter what.

#did i make my first post a 1000+ word essay about the dawnfather? yes #did i write this instead of doing my work? also yes #would i do it again? absolutely #i have so many thoughts about the gods of exandria #i want to shake them in a jar and examine them under a microscope #it is my foremost belief that pelor has eldest daughter syndrome #like surface pressure from encanto is literally the perfect pelor song tell me im wrong #he is so stressed. all the time #like pelor IS a dick. absolutely #he has definitely done some fucked up shit #but he's not malicious or evil. hes doing what he thinks will protect everyone #he is in desperate need of a nap. a hug. and a therapist #this definitely delves into headcanon territory but i dont care #critical role #cr spoilers #cr meta #cr headcanons #dawnfather #everlight #cr asmodeus #pelor the dawnfather #cr sarenrae #cr gods #shelley's overdramatic character analysis

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary #bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it #so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences. #being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much #compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself #tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments. #tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts #could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably #and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist #but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think #this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines #and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before #it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person. #this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3 #we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically #p

[deesi-academia]

Eldest daughter syndrome is basically therapist behavior (forced due to circumstances)

#where are my desi eldest daughter therapists at #desiblr #desi #dark academia #light academia #desi academia #desi culture #therapist #eldest sibling #eldest daughter #desi household #desi tumblr #desi tag

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

#batfam #batfamily #dc #dc polls #dc poll #poll #dick grayson #dick grayson has eldest daughter syndrome #batkids #batsiblings #these are the two I have seen most often #yes there is an entire tag about dick having eldest daughter syndrome #but tim is also eldest child coded in my opinion #I know a lot of oldest children who played the therapist in the family and thus relate to tim a lot #polls #dc comics #batman

[itneedmoreshit]

being an eldest daughter means sobbing every time you have to leave your parents even though your therapist is literally BEGGING you to get out of your hometown

#siblings #personal #i love my therapist and she is right but also have you considered my parents need me?? and they’ll be sad without me?? #even if my sisters are still home? #oldest daughter #eldest daughter syndrome

[amistillhere]

eldest child? no, eldest daughter. she’s never been a child in her life.

#eldest child #eldest daughter #eldest sibling #eldest sister #recovering people pleaser #isolation #depressing life #oldest #therapy #family therapist #third parent #eldest daughter club #eldest daughter therapy #eldest daughter recovery #sibling parent #no mistakes #lonesome #mentally exhausted #mentally tired #unstable emotions #paranoid #social anxiety #depression #i don’t want to be a mum

[nonbinaryphantom]

i dont want to make jazz Nice Girl trope whose main role is to care for the male characters i need her to be batshit i think she has a superiority complex. she’s full of herself shes envious she wishes she has a normal family but if she could she would have a whole shelf with brains in jars she thinks she knows whats best for everyone she’s an overachiever and sometimes doesnt read people as well as she thinks

#jazz fenton #she is so eldest daughter but to me she is also weird girl #idk im not a fan of jazz but shes Only allowed to be a therapist #and like i think she does care about people but shes still a teen and doesnt know the answers

[what-is-this-bakwaas]

.

#i need to rant #or else i will lose my mind #so pls skip if you dont want to listen to my sob story #i am tired #i am so so tired #i am tired of being the eldest daughter #i am tired of handling every single thing #i am legit a mom to everyone including my mom #i have to deal with all the shit my siblings go thru #be their therapist #the parent that they never got #i have to handle finances of the house #im tired of paying every single thing and having the majority of my paychecks go to the house #the house drains me so much that im not able to show up in others aspects of my life #i am tired of doing all of this and getting nothing but insults #verbally abused and degraded #im trying to get a law degree so i can help people in the future but the on going shit at home makes studying so much harder to the point #where i fail my class #i am tired of pretending to be okay when i just wanna scream and break every single thing around me #my ankle recovery is taking a toll on me physically and mentally #that shit is not easy and no one will understand how shitty it is to break a fucking ankle and learning how to walk bend run all over again #this list is just never ending #i wanna have my own family #i wanna build a healthy house hold for myself #but at the same time who the fuck would want to be with me when i go thru all of this #i am not okay at all and i am tired of helping every single person around me #i know im supposed to help my own self but i wish someone went the extra mile and went above and beyond just like i do for everyone else #i just want a break i want someone to tell me its all going to be okay i do not need to suffer and go thru life alone #i want someone to be there for me #i dont wanna seem ungrateful but this is how i feel

[pain-is-my-game]

I should not be the therapist friend. I'm just a girl with a special interest in psychology and a pair of eyeballs. I'm not mentally stable enough for y'all's problems and my own.

#therapist friend #i will never care if you reblog #depression memes #emotionally unstable #eldest daughter #eldest daughter syndrome #this is an oldest daughter thing because i said so #thoughts to throw into the void

[pretentious-librarian]

being the oldest daughter is using gentle parenting techniques on your own parents

#oldest daughter #eldest daughter #dysfunctional family #my dads been dead for a while and my therapist just told me that i am in fact my mom’s husband and my younger sisters dad #slay

[anabsoluteagathokakological]

That moment when you realize that, eldest daughters are absolutely-no definitely the therapists in every way and every relation possible...

and also the ones in need of some therapy themselves....

kudos if it's self-realization.

#thoughts #random #it be like dat #eldest sister #eldest child #daughter #eldest daughter #family things #therapy #the therapist #needless to say #it was a long day #listening to rants #self realization #my depressed/overthinking/insecure/anxious brain watching me:....you hypocrite...

[evolvedclown]

i suppress my emotions almost constantly so sometimes i forget how draining it is to be queer and black in an all white/straight family. while also being the eldest daughter. the eldest grandchild of all the cousins. the first on one side to go to college. the family therapist and the one who has to be neutral in all arguments. and the one who regulates everyone else’s emotions while mine are seen as ‘overreacting’ and when i get upset or angry im the one who always ends up having to apologize. even when i was the one being targeted in the first place. no fucking wonder i’m so mentally fucked up.

#mental illness #family issues #family problems #mental health issues #eldest daughter #eldest daughter syndrome #family therapist

[deesi-academia]

Sorry for reacting on the spot and speaking my true feelings. That wasn't very empath-therapist-friend of me.

#desiblr #desi #chaotic academia #humor #dark academia #light academia #memes #desi culture #desi academia #academia #therapist friend #eldest daughter #therapy #empath

[todderwodders]

Shaking like a dog because Veronica has had to watch her father bear the burden of chosen and Bhaalspawn and lover to the chosen of bane all her life and she constantly throws herself into work and listening and helping her family with what must be done and if she even slightly refuses on something for herself there’s another fire to put out within seconds. She has never been picked first for anything in her entire life, her father cannot, her brother will not, and the other seems to chose it.

Anyhow Veronica falls in love with a monk and the first thing Gortash says when he catches wind of it is ‘he’s married’. It doesn’t matter if it’s true, to Veronica it’s just another way Gortash goes out of his way to ruin everything

#bearing the burden of being the eldest daughter and the surviving daughter and the family therapist grocer maid and second mother and nurse #while an adult just sits and watches you do it all #you feel like a pet he plays with only when he wants and never any other time #he likes lulius more #you don’t mind that #but it stings #you used to feel loved #now life is comprised of work and bitter disappointment and watching your parent become more and more tired and despondent and erratic #nic writes #Veronica #this is hurting my feelings

[sassmill]

I haven’t looked in on the unfinished side of our basement in a while and… my dad’s hoarding has actually gotten significantly worse. And we just heard from my grandfather last night that he’s pretty sure my grandmother is going to pass soon. And when that happens, my father’s hoarding is absolutely not going to get better. So. That’s a lot. I brought it up to my mom and she told ME to research psychiatrists that specialize in hoarding. It’s a very eldest daughter kind of day.

#it will be a relief when my grandmother passes mostly because it has been causing my grandfather so much pain to care for her like this #she’s been in decline since 2016 and has been in basically a vegetative state for the past 2 years #so we’ve already made our peace with that and started that grieving process #but I am the most worried for my father #he’s been in therapy for a couple of years #but he still doesn’t have many coping skills #his binge eating has gotten worse his hoarding has gotten worse #so we’re absolutely headed for a breakdown if intervention doesn’t happen NOW #and my mother has kind of resigned herself to it happening which means it’s all on me to make sure it doesn’t #because apparently I’m the only one in this house that actually gained coping skills #‘your parents trauma isn’t your responsibility’ i can hear my therapist saying #but Ashley I still have to live in their house so if I want to stay sane while living here #it has to be somebody’s responsibility #and like many times in my family history: nobody else is willing to do it so if I don’t do it it won’t get done #thank you for coming to my ted talk #taking a friend to see a movie later because his mother just had emergency spinal surgery and can’t walk #and she’ll be in a rehab facility for over a month #*heavy sigh* #eldest daughter syndrome

[thedawningofthehour]

I don't think it's irrational. They give me anxiety too. I've asked people not to enter my stuff because of that.

I am content to watch from the sidelines and enjoy watching people be silly

It's weird, like, I do want to participate in stuff and have fun but it just kind of takes over and invades my head when I'm trying to do anything else. And it's illogical because there's literally no point. 'What if you loooooose?' Nothing. Absolutely nothing will happen, I won't even feel that bad about it. The result is the same as me not having entered at all. 'But what if you lose?' It just doesn't end.

#should talk to my therapist about it but honestly i think my therapist is kind of useless #she's younger and i think she's still really new at this and afraid to commit to anything #she keeps trying to bring everything back to my parents and i'm like yes i have eldest daughter syndrome i already knew that #i wanted help on how to deal with that #“well you know that anxiety is irrational” I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I'M TALKING TO YOU. TELLING MYSELF IT'S IRRATIONAL ISN'T WORKING