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#elementary school

School memories (because quarantine)

My 8th grade geography teacher told us he couldn’t donate blood because he was in Europe during the whole mad cow thing. (We all swear he was insane)

Another story about my 8th grade geography teacher is that he was originally the German teacher at the highschool. He and another teacher would always prank the Spanish teacher and that year German was cut from the curriculum. He and the other German teacher printed out several pictures of themselves and tape them to all the Spanish textbooks, hid several pictures all around the classroom, changed the teacher’s name plate to their names, and hanged a sign that said ‘Welcome to German 1!’ In German, obviously. From what we were told, she’s still finding pictures to this day.

My 7th grade English teacher was a gem and she’s the only exception. She was always late to class and so one day a different teacher had to let us into the classroom. We were all reading The Giver at that moment and so we all agreed to just silently read the next chapter. A couple minutes later our teacher arrives and she compliments us that we were reading. As she gets to her desk she exclaimed, “You guys are reading The Giver?!!” She didn’t expect to be reading that.

She had a beta fish named Shark. She also rapped and was a big fan of Eminem.

My 8th grade science teacher called her classroom a dictatorship.

My kindergarten teacher got married when I was her student and I got sick on her wedding day. She held a party and I was in the nurse’s office and throwing up.

My best friend moved away the summer before 3rd grade and so I was alone during recess. Someone ran up to me and asked if I wanted to play My Little Pony with them and their friend. We’re all still close to this day.

My 6th grade English teacher showed us an Epic Rap Battles of History with Gandhi vs. MLK jr. I’m just warning you now that showing a bunch of 12-year-olds a video with a swear word isn’t a good idea.

My 8th grade math teacher had a daughter in our grade. Her daughter got dress-coded and she took it out on us. Saying that any girl caught with any violation to the dress-code would be caught by her.

That same math teacher once gave my class a worksheet that we had to complete in 6 minutes. This worksheet was two word questions we had to answer. Then we had to make a graph, create our scale, plot the scatter plot, draw a line of best fit, and then answer four short answer questions at the bottom. We had to do that twice. As you can guess, many people were upset at her. I even cried in class because I was so frustrated. We reported her and nothing came up of it.

During the summer before 9th grade, my friends and I were on call playing video games. We were just ranting about 8th grade and our teachers. We were each in the same section and so we were ranting about our teachers. I mention that fateful day and how I cried and my friend who wasn’t in the same hour as me goes, “Wait, that was you!?” Apparently, that math teacher had told their class that she was tired, stressed, and that 'she’s already had a student cry today.’ So while I was kept anonymous she loudly admitted that she made a student cry.

I came out to my dad as trans on December 5th. My choir teacher had told us about the little dinner-and-show that a cappella does every winter. I sighed up and the day I was going I left a note telling him about how I felt and how I was trans. I didn’t hear anything from him all day but I didn’t want to worry. During the bus boarding for the dinner we were told that the other bus was practically empty. I stand up and go to get on the other bus. I step off and immediately slip on ice. My foot hurt like hell and I limped to the bus. Apartently, I sprained my ankle. I sat through that whole dinner with absolute pain and I had to use my friends as crutches. Once I got in the car my dad asked how my ankle is and how that happened before going, “So… how long have you felt like this?” In reference to me coming out to him. That was a fun night.

I will add more as I remember

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someone please make a math blog where users can submit hard questions they don’t know how to do, and the admins of the blog can post formulas and answers, and cool math facts, and just general stuff that’ll help all us math losers out, someone please make a math blog, please—

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I will tell you right now, NO TEACHER WANTS TO BE HOME RIGHT NOW.

All I can think about is my munchkins who’s routines are thrown off my being home. My kids who only get love when they walk into my classroom. Who only get food when we eat breakfast and lunch and I sneak them in a snack even though we arnt aloud to bring in food because they don’t have any at home.

There is not a good teacher out there that likes this situation. It is not a break. It is a self isolation to stop the spread of a terrible virus. There is no vacation aspect here. I am at home every day making YouTube vlogs for my kids about geography and math so they can stay activily engaged at home.

Think about that the next time you say “lucky you” to a teacher. It’s not lucky for us that our kids arnt getting what they need or deserve.

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Good morning all!

Due to the COVID-19 crisis I have lost my job. I worked with special needs children and unfortunately the general panic has cause the last of my clients to chose to postpone my services until further notice. While I completely understand their decision, I have been left unemployed.

I am offering my services, as someone who has worked with many types of children, as a tutor for school work. Although I can work with school age children on basic math, my strength is English for all ages. I am also fluent in Spanish and I am will to help even adults who need assistance. I will discuss monetary details with you one on one but due to this crisis affecting all individuals and depending on your situation I am more than happy to offer very discounted prices.

In these times of uncertainty we need to band together and help one another. I appreciate you taking the time to read this through and I will provide my email address to further discuss. I hope everyone continues to stay positive and healthy. Thank you.


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Home Schooling………..

Keeping My Kids Focused on Academics During the Pandemic…..


New York City school are officially closed until April 20th. My kids are home. The first day off we were at a loss for what to do with the kids. We let them have a day off. They played mindlessly on their iPads for hours. Youtube and games for hours upon hours. That wasn’t going to fly with me. So i took the time off and said i will home school these kids. No longer will they have an early summer vacation. They will continue their studies via dad’s school.


I woke up made them get dressed and have a seat at the dining room table. Set up a day of studies centered around 30-45 minute blocks of different subjects. Science, art, history, math, reading spelling, and poetry. Some of it was in line with what i helped them with on their homework with previously. I went through their math books and i worked on things accordingly.

So here i am teaching without a degree while still allowing my kids to be themselves. Making the best of a bad situation. The unexpected thing that happened is that my kids are responding! My son is mastering word problems. He had his awakening. He knew he knew and with that he mastered it. I wanted to throw a party. My daughter too. She had multiple letters she didn’t know the shapes of and the sounds. Suddenly she got it. There’s progress. So I’m going to use this time to the best of my ability to help my life catch up. I’m not going to sit in the corner and cry i can’t go outside. Forget outside. Inside there’s some magic brewing. Let’s see if i can catch them up. See if they can get excited about school. That’s all i want is the effort, them to give it their best shot. Here’s praying that my babies come out the other side of this better than ever……….i hope that for all of us.

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gen z culture is school “self esteem” assemblies that list out new insecurities you wouldn’t have thought of yourself so you know you don’t have to be cool, and kids unconvinced not to try the Forbidden Cool™️

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I am a para professional in a small elementary school in New Hampshire. I worry for my kids daily; I worry for their well-being, if they’re eating, how they’re doing with the new at home learning, whether they’re safe. It’s been a week since we were told we’d be shutting our doors. A week that we had to prepare 500 packets of learning k-4, special education packets, OT, speech, and music therapy work for students in our school, distribute it, and get our online learning classrooms up and running for our students. We’ve been in constant contact with our families and the kids making sure they have everything they need to feel supported in this unprecedented endeavor.

Every morning teachers, administrators, and staff load three buses full of breakfast, lunch, and milk to pass out to hundreds of kids in our district.


I think the hardest part of this for me was a week ago I left school like any other Friday. We packed the kids up, stacked the chairs, and called for dismissal like we were going to be back on Monday. I’ve worked as a one-on-one para with two little boys. One in third and one in fourth. I’ve been working with them for 3 years now and I didn’t get to say goodbye to them. I can’t call them, I can’t talk to them except through their teacher.

Monday we’ll all be working from home so I’ve set up my office to make videos for the kids, read-alouds, and math tutorials to keep up to date with them.


This is not a vacation for us. We’re still working. Still here for our kids.

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Since I can’t teach for another month time to throw out our secret weapons~! Jk it’s always been there people just don’t know about it.


Gonoodle is another one but more for physical learning. Indoor recess basically. It is not totally free but it has some free stuff! Like a hygiene song!

K5 learning is another one! It is more for ELA and math. It however is for grades kinder till 5th (5 year olds till 11 year olds)

Youtube tbh has some great online math tutorial! Read alouds as well. Science facts. Overall it is a great resource if used right! (Though give those kids a break don’t burn them out)

I know you guys aren’t big on education but these are some good resources for home learning. Let’s not let them lag behind. In NYC they will do online learning. But thats not till next week. These sites are wonderful for establishing a routine. Some kids need that routine setup before being hit with a totally new method.

Best of luck to all of us and feel free to add on.

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F$&k School……..

Tales of a frustrated parent……


My kids are bright intelligent little people with amazing observational skills and extremely logical and thoughtful. My daughter will debate you better than any presidential candidate. My son will ask u such soulful profound questions about the most existential aspects of life. I’m not worried about their future prospects i know they will be fine.


The issues i have are in school academics. My children are struggling going through the motions of common core math and reading. I have done everything to help. Cut back on overtime, paid for tutors, and downloaded every app and made every effort to help them excel. So many thousands upon thousands of dollars to help them along. Yet i got to parent teachers conference and they tell me i need to do more or my children may be held back. My children get up go to the bus stop by 715 start school at 810am and get out from their after school program at 530pm. We get home by 6 and proceed to eat dinner while we do home til 830pm and then it’s time for showers and bed. So from 715-830 everyday my children are overwhelmed by school. The truth is i need the after school because they provide summer camp which i couldn’t afford otherwise.


My concern with school is the social aspect. My son takes incredible pride in being a big brother. Constantly consoles his sister for not knowing something by attributing it to her only being in kindergarten and him understanding because he is in 2nd grade. He is hyper aware that he is behind the other kids in class. He in excited every time he passes a reading level he gets excited. He comes home chest puffed out and announces like a returning champion, “I am now a level H reader.” If he gets held back or if she does that social aspect of his sister catching up to him will crush his confidence. If she is held back and being aware that she is much older than the kids in her class is a huge deal.


So here we are struggling through school again. Making adjustments finding money for tutors again. Finding help to assess them again. I know children mature at different rates and perhaps the way they are teaching now differs so much from when i went to school that it seems to be catering to different style of learning, one that I’m unfamiliar with. I am a frustrated parent trying to find a way to help my kids. I know as adults they will be fine. That’s a long time from now. Right now i just want my babies to be okay. Not great not good just okay…….Whatever it takes.

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So when I was in elementary school we had fake money called “rallids” and a board with pockets with colored papers under each of our names. Everyone started with a green slip of paper at the beginning of every day, but if you did something wrong, you had to pull the green one and then you’d have a yellow in front, and if you did another thing wrong you’d pull another slip and then it’d either be orange or red, I can’t remember. Red meant you got detention, but IDK if you only got two strikes or if it was three. Either way, you could be forced to pull a slip over really minuscule shit like talking without raising your hand, and even back then I thought it was totally unfair that all infractions were treated as equal under that system. But I digress. If you stayed green the whole day, you were awarded rallids and then you’d be allowed to buy candy out of the teacher’s desk with them. If you slipped up even one time during the day, you didn’t get anything. So basically, they gamified behaving in class. Except, they couldn’t regulate what we did with our rallids. So I’d make paper wallets with custom designs and sell them to my friends to hold their rallids to earn extra cash because the teachers were always whipping out the hammer of justice on me just for getting overexcited and answering a question without being called on.

Did anybody else’s school do this?

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