all the reasons why i wouldn't survive tma:
1) i get distracted incredibly easily. creepy michael mcfuckhands puts on a baby sensory fruit video and i'm gone.
2) my memory has a half-life of 2 minutes. was i supposed to take a statement? sorry i already forgot.
3) if i came into possession of a coffin that urged me to open it i'd name it bobert and develop a parasocial attachment to it.
4) i flail so badly in social settings. nikola orsinov could jumpscare me in my room and i'd still be asking her for tone tags. i'd try to awkwardly compliment her outfit and somehow end up asking if she eats erasers.
5) i'm a curious gremlin. not!sasha corners me in the tunnels and i just start asking her if her table is ikea. what it's like to be the notthem. how she feels about her existence. what's her birth chart. you know, wood makes me think of rocks and rocks make me think of gems do you want to hear about gems-
6) i'd be so busy trying to get social approval from annabelle cane. or agnes montague. or michael shelley. really any avatar, actually.
7) i have no brain to mouth filter. i will either start talking about the onceler to elias bouchard or rambling about any research topic i've found info on to peter lukas.
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It never ceases to amaze me that "Hello Jon apologies for the deception" is...technically Jon's line
it sounds SO MUCH like Elias to the point of being absurdly creepy Everytime I listen to it my brain forgets that's actually voiced by Jonny and go "Wow Elias' voice sure is chilling" and realizes the truth two seconds late
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New casting announcement plus our favorite comments so far. With thanks to @kamaya4252 , @bonnieaspenwall, and @legalvalkyrie on Twitter!
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ALASDAIR STUART AND BEN MEREDITH PLAYING HUSBANDS. LONELYEYES BITCHES HOW ARE YOU DOING
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Whoever over at Super Suits decided let's canonize LonelyEyes, give them a fucking raise!
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I love trying to research a basic question like, “When did Jon get promoted to Head Archivist?” and being reminded that the timeline of this show is complete bonkers nonsense.
Like, according to the wiki, on March 15, 2015, Elias finds a pool Gertrude’s blood at her desk and reports her missing, but March 20 is the day he shoots her, and then on April 4 she records the statement of Sebastian Skinner???
Where did all that blood come from if Gertrude hadn’t been shot yet? Did she record that statement posthumously? Did it take her two weeks to die? Is Elias just really bad at murder?
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The ships LonelyEyes from The Magnus Archives and FrUK from Hetalia have the same energy. No I will not be explaining myself
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gender envy this, gender envy that, sir that man is a senior citizen
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Elias: if you ever wanted to know what your father looked like, you could just look in the mirror
Martin, crying: thanks for validating my gender in the single worst possible way-
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I’ve been out there with you. I saw the kick you got out of making them scream for once.
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This has been living in my brain for a few days now so I finally gave in and made it.
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uh oh! (sexualizes an old man)
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the magnus archives sure is a podcast huh
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THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES HAS POSSESSED ME
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Nothing funnier than Elias Bouchard sounding like Just Some Guy the first couple seasons and then abruptly going full Stereotypical Evil Voice the second he was revealed to be a villain.
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Every once in a while I’ll remember that Elias actually said that and my hatred for him will just about triple, which is very impressive cause I already hate him so much :)
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do yall like my new tma playlist ?
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hey TMA fans, who's your favourite avatar??
a man betrayed by one of the people he most trusted, thrown into something so unknawable that all that is left of him is a rage so strong that the thing that wears his skin still feels it
a woman raised from birth to be part of a story she had no part in writing, so caught up in being the chosen one that even we the audience only hear her story from the perspective of other people
a woman who framed the narrative as we experience it, a liar so competent at what she does that she spun her own lies into absolute truths like a spider spins its web
a man so afraid of death that he stole body after body and destroyed countless lives in a futile attempt to gain imortality that only ended with him becoming a sickening mockery of a god
a woman completely made of others, a dancer created for no other purpose, who, even in the end, couldnt bring herself to finish her dance
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