#ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

hello hi, wanna go off a bit about mori-san? whatever you want to say, just have fun~

hi :) i always wanna talk about mori!!

i can't stop thinking about the disconnect between mori and dazai that comes from mori projecting onto dazai so hard. like when they first met dazai was very much like mori - obviously much more disinterested in life but he didn't have any close human connections and was able to follow mori's commitment to the ideal solution because of it. but through chuuya and ango and especially oda, he came to develop strong bonds with people that mori simply doesn't have. and mori didn't predict that.

dazai's words to fyodor about not trusting anything you can't control could apply equally to mori. he's a chess master and the city of yokohama is the board and the mafia members are his pieces. he treats them well, doesn't carelessly throw away lives, but at the end of the day, they have a purpose to serve. and oda - he was barely a pawn. he was so underutilized. mori doesn't have the kind of relationships that would allow him to prioritize true friendship, to value people outside of their usefulness. he expected dazai to follow his logic and ultimately understand the purpose of the sacrifice.

except dazai loved oda. and oda threw a wrench in all of mori's careful planning by telling dazai to escape to the light.

because maybe, maybe, mori could've predicted dazai going off to sulk and be angry for a while before ultimately coming back to the mafia, because what else did he have in life before oda gave him a purpose? but when he first heard that dazai joined the agency, it had to be a complete shock. a slap in the face, honestly. his greatest tool, his most competent executive, the boy he trained and taught and led for four years, now part of an enemy group because of his own actions.

that had to sting a bit. not even close to enough to regret getting the permit, of course, but for mori as a person, it had to be painful.

but mori would probably never acknowledge that emotion. it was for the good of the mafia, of yokohama as a whole, after all, and that's the only thing that matters. outwardly, at least.

i think mori is a deeply lonely person and dazai was one of the few people who made a dent in that loneliness - part of the reason why elise now copies some of his personality traits. (and i could make a whole post about elise, i love her so much. elise is such a reflection of his loneliness. you don't create an entire person if you have healthy relationships and aren't a control freak, but i digress.) but his biggest failure was in thinking that dazai was equally lonely, equally alone, and equally willing to put the organization over everyone and everything.

because mori has nothing else other than the mafia. it's both his home and his prison. like he said to chuuya, he's both a leader and a slave to the organization. that will never change.

and as silly as it sounds to blame the difference between them on the power of friendship, it's the only thing that separated dazai from ending up just like mori. except dazai has a capacity for cruelty that mori doesn't and if oda hadn't told dazai to leave the mafia, i think we would've seen the results of that immediately after his death.

anyway. i'm insane about mori and dazai. i think about them so much. their dynamic is one of my favorite relationships in bsd because of the range and ambiguousness of it - it's never even close to familial, way too casual for typical boss/employee while still definitely not friendly, dazai was a complete brat to him most of the time while mori was just amused, and now there's this one-sided absolute hatred while mori holds zero resentment towards dazai so you can't really even call them enemies. there's no label for whatever they have going on. and i'm not normal about it. at all.

#enjoy my little morizai essay 🙏 #''little'' as if it isn't ten paragraphs #ellie.answers #bsd #bsd mori #bsd dazai #bsd meta

[butchjohndenver]

why do you love john denver! :)

thank you for asking :) so my mom would play his music all the time when i was a kid so part of it is nostalgia and also i feel more connected to my mom when i listen to him bc she said she would listen to john denver in her room when she was little while looking out the window. and then just in general his music makes me feel better and i find it extremely comforting + there's just so much emotion in his music and some of it brings me nearly to tears. i also just think he was a very interesting person like i read his autobiography earlier this year and there were so many unexpected things about him (both good and bad) especially since he died before i was born so i never got to see what he was like while he was alive.

#thank you so much for asking this #this was a great question #ellie.answer #john denver

[mjiro]

throws rocks gts👺👺👺

I CANT ‼️‼️ IM SPIRALING DOWN INTO THE DEPTHS OF NARUTO TUMBLR.. I CANT GET OUT!!!

#dont call for help tho.. #i love it here 💗💗 #ellie.answers #i just rb a bunch of trash on my sideblog lmao

[s4ijoh]

omg why are all us infps on tumblr...

must be the crippling desire to escape reality ig 😸

#goodnight to infps only <3 #cant speak for everyone #yOU TELL ME #ellie.answers

[atsumos]

this entire blog gives me serotonin, ellie i don’t think you understand

omg im so happy to hear that BC THIS IS LITERALLY MY HAPPY PLACE I LOVE IT HERE !!! ☺️☺️

#like this blog is literally a dumpster SHJAHSJA I just reblog every cool naruto post i come across and i come back later for some serotonin #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

fave things about mori?

hmm that's hard 🤔

i like that while he prioritizes logic and reason, he's still forgiving towards his subordinates, saying that effort is more important than results. and his words to chuuya about the leader of an organization being its slave really endeared him to me.

i guess that mostly i like that he's very contradictory. this cold, clinical man who drops everything to appease a bratty little girl who doesn't even actually exist. his fond exasperation when dealing with 15!dazai, even after recognizing him as a threat. a mafia boss whose main priority is genuinely the protection, the balance of light and dark, of the city as a whole. the fact that even as smart as he is, he's still capable of making misjudgements.

also i have a lot of appreciation for how he manipulates. it's very subtle, and almost always leaves himself free of any potential direct blame. he thinks like a doctor, a soldier, and a leader at the same time and it shows (and works well).

plus he's just a silly little guy. pathetic wet cat of a man. elise probably makes him cry every single day. i mean, we've seen him go to an executive meeting in pigtails just to make her happy. there is so much potential for her making him do the most ridiculous shit and him just going with it.

anyway. i kind of love him a lot, if you couldn't tell :)

#this is literally just me stream of consciousness rambling about him so sorry if it's incoherent or repetitive #bsd #bsd mori #bsd meta #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

would you dare say mori is a servant leader?

i don't think i would go quite that far.

while he does value his subordinates, and seems to take the opinions of kouyou and chuuya into mind, i think mori still trusts his own judgment above all else and leads with full control rather than allowing major decisions to be by committee. he allows his workers (akutagawa, for example) a great deal of freedom in how they accomplish their jobs but the jobs given aren't ever up for debate.

i do think the one aspect of that leadership style that mori embodies is the idea of community it fosters - like i said, he genuinely does value the people under him and doesn't just throw their lives away needlessly. i think he would want them to see the port mafia as a family/community environment, even if only because it would strengthen their loyalty.

he also consistently prioritizes the good of the organization over his own desires, but that's not necessarily a sign of being a servant leader - it's more representative of exactly how far his dedication to logic over emotion goes.

#thank you for giving me an excuse to analyze mori a bit!! <3 #bsd #bsd mori #bsd meta #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

wip game: sheep chuuya trans? :3

this is an idea that came to me in a dream (literally) and it's hard to pull a snippet from it because so far it's a lot of yuan/shirase dialogue and chuuya doesn't even have his name until like 1000+ words in

It's hard, being with people who treat them as if they should understand how to be a person. Some days they say words. It's difficult to gather the sounds and force them out of their mouth. They get the feeling that wherever they were before this, they didn't do it often, if at all. But when they do speak, Yuan looks at them with something like pride and the effort feels worth it. Most days, they don't say words.

#thanks for the ask!! 🖤 #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

meow

#hi and thank you for the ask!! :) #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

can i have "pre-mafia morizai" for the wip game?

this fic is really only two full scenes and a handful of unconnected paragraphs but i really do want to finish it at some point. it was inspired by a post i made here and i said i would write it but it just keeps getting pushed back. anyway, have a little snippet :)

"Modern ovens don't even use coal gas," Mori grumbles, shaking his head as he bends down to pull the boy's face out of the small electric oven by the back of his collar the way one would scruff a misbehaving kitten. He sometimes hesitates to call this strange creature a boy - his singular wide brown eye and gangly limbs speak of childhood but his sharp grin and intelligent quips seem to hint at something much more insidious hiding beneath. Dazai turns his doe-eyed stare on him and all thoughts of the boy's potential threat level vanish. It's hard to feel intimidated by something so… "Mori-sensei," Dazai whines, "you're always ruining my fun." … annoying.

#thanks for asking!! 🙏 #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

Hey, I know we haven't really gotten to know each other (or talked much) but I'm doing my nightly backread of tumblr after work and I just want to check in on you. You doing okay?

i'm doing a lot better than i was. i'm lucky to have really great friends who were so supportive and kind today and helped me through the worst of it. and thanks for checking in, that's really nice of you!! :)

#ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

Are you also a social worker? You seem like you'd be good at it 💙

no, i definitely don't have the kind of personality required to work in that field. but thanks!!

#she's perfect for it #like amazing at her job #i would be horrible at it #but thanks for believing i'm a better person than i am i guess 🙏 #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

for the ask game: your blog is probably sponsored by port mafia.

it definitely isn't but while we're on the subject - mori is the best boss in the world, treats all of his employees kindly, and (as previously mentioned) offers great benefits including excellent health insurance. you should sign up today!!* :)

*long career not guaranteed

#i would be a great pr guy for the port mafia #i can't shut up about them #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

▪️multifandom: mostly bsd, often jjk, and occasionally ynm, vnc, hxh, and death note

▪️my bsd tag has an organizational tagging system under construction

▪️i tag my health-related posts with "medical //" if you want to filter it because i do post about my health issues (surgeries, hospitalizations, etc) relatively often

▪️please let me know if you need anything specific tagged, i'm always happy to :)

▪️ mori defender

▪️no queue, i only post when active

▪️mutuals can ask for my discord

▪️bsd mayoi: 549989083557

▪️ao3 (contains explicit content)

▪️header by kyouka-supremacy

#frequent tags: #bsd #jjk #ynm #vnc #hxh #dn #ellie.txt #ellie.posts #ellie.answers #ellie.tagged #medical // #i think i'm at the point now where i need a pinned post unfortunately

[vivid-vices]

anon opinion: you're selling yourself a bit too short. i bet it seems crazy to even consider atm, but you're deserving of a wonderful life and are a very capable person.

this is so nice that i don't even have words. thank you so much!!! <333

#seriously thank you anon!! #it does seem crazy to consider but i'm hoping it gets easier someday #you're so kind <3 #ellie.answers

[vivid-vices]

What are you planning to do now?

hopefully (fingers crossed) i'm going to become a teacher :)

#there's a very personal reason behind this choice but i'm also very excited about it just for me as a person!! #i'm taking a few months off to do nothing but i'm going to apply for teacher assistant positions for next school year #and go back to finish my bachelor's in elementary ed :) #this was my plan before my ex came back into my life so i'm just sort of... resuming it? #hopefully #i'll know for sure in a week #ellie.answers