Mor had always loved a good ball. The way everyone dressed to impress each other or their special person always warmed her heart. The way couples would sway in time with the music, each lost in their own world. Their own love.
Rhys and Feyre had decided to throw one in honour of Nyxs 1st. They had invited each high lord form the varying courts, generals and special guests Rhys had wanted to impress. The ballroom was packed. Laughter and happiness hung In the air. An orchestra was playing in the corner, a buffet set out with all types of illyrian food.
Feyre and Rhys were introducing Nyx to Helion, Lucien had managed to make it with Vassa both of them arguing on what type of boot is best fit for travelling. Nesta was with a beautiful illyrian woman, Emerie. They had been chatting together for a while and occasionally Emerie would glance Mors way. They would hold each others eyes for what seemed an eternity before looking away. By the buffet to no one's suprise Cassian was stuffing his mouth with a disgusted Amren watching. The twins were flittering about attending to the needs of each guest.
Then there was Azriel, he looked good yet there was a wariness about him. A tiredness he couldn't seem to shake. His cobalt suit was tailored to fit, no syphons in sight. He had half heartedly danced with Nesta and Feyre, given everyone tainted smiles who chose to look his way. Az had stayed in the corner by the window for most of the night. The window itself was lined with different shades of roses. Their green leaves bright making them stand out.
Mor made her way over to him, hoping that she may be able to help him cheer up or at least get him to eat. Just as she was close enough to call his name out, she found that someone else had already beaten her to him.
Elain always looked beautiful but tonight she out shone everyone. Her dress was the exact same colour of Azriels suit, making her skin glow. Her lips were a darker red, black choal lined her eyes. She was truly breathtaking as she stood before Azriel, whose shadows were quick to hide his face.
"Dance with me" Elain's voice was soft yet conveyed a sense of authority. She stood tall before him meeting his gaze head on, though she did have to tilt her head quite a bit up. Azriel said nothing. His shadows were flickering across his face, a tactic Mor knew the spy master used when he wanted to hide his true emotions. He let his gaze leave Elains and focused on someone behind Mor, his eyes stayed there. It took mor a second to realise he was communicating with the person behind her telepathically. She turned to see who it was, but Az finally broke the silence.
"Thank you for asking me, but I'm not In the mood to dance right now. Feyre and Nesta tired me out. Maybe ask Lucien." His voice was low and neutral. Yet Elain didn't flinch from his tone.
"It can be a quick dance, only a few minutes, you can ignore me aft-"
"Elain. I'm tired. Please ask someone else I'm sure they'll be able to give you a much better company then I can"
" I don't want anyone else's company other than yours."
She simply stared at him. Before slowly nodding head. She mustered a shuddering breath. Her voice still strong.
"I'm sorry, I suppose it was a mistake asking you"
And with that she turned to leave. Her gaze caught Mors, and it broke mor to see the tears Elain had been trying to keep in. But even then a few still fell. She gave Mor a soft smile before brushing past and leaving the ball room without anyone else noticing.
Mor turned back to see Az watching Elain leave. Finally his shadows broke away from his face, revealing the emotions he had tried to lock away. His face held so much, his own eyes filled with unshed tears. Az seems at war with himself. But finally Elain was out of his sight, his reach. As his eyes closed, Mor swore a tear fell before a shadow brushed it away.
The roses that had garnered the window were now wilted, the petals slowly turning black. Leaves decaying.
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Day 87 of Spreading Elain/Elriel Positivity
I want to try and spread as much positivity to the Elain stans and Elriel shippers as I possibly can
While the Azriel and Elain interactions were subtle compared to the Lucien and Elain ones, the contrast between the way Azriel and Lucien act when it comes to Elain are one of the many reasons for why I ship Elriel.
ACOMAF Chapter 67
“Lucien was shaking his head, panting, and whirled to us. 'Get her back,' he snarled at Tamlin over the ranting of the king. "
ACOWAR Chapter 64
“From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, 'I’m getting her back.'”
ACOWAR Chapter 12 (Lucien & Feyre)
“'I want to see her. Just once. Just—to know.'
'To know what?'
He hitched my damp cloak higher around us. 'If she is worth fighting for.'”
ACOSF Chapter 22
“Az hadn’t so much as hesitated before going into the heart of Hybern’s war-camp.”
ACOWAR Chapter 24 + 33
“She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. 'Can you hear mine?'
He wasn’t sure if she truly meant to address him, but he said, 'No, lady. I cannot.'
Her too-thin shoulders seemed to curve inward. 'No one ever does. No one ever looked—not really.'”
“Lucien just stared and stared at my sister, as if he’d never seen her before.”
ACOWAR Chapter 27 + 33
“Azriel’s hazel eyes churned as he studied my sister, her too-thin body. ”
“It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. ”
ACOWAR Chapter 24
"I could have sworn his ruby hair gleamed like molten metal as his temper rose. But it faded, his russet eye fixing on me. 'Take her to the sea. Take her to some garden. But get her out of this house for an hour or two.'”
ACOWAR Chapter 24
“Elain peered up at his patient, solemn face. Azriel smiled faintly. 'Would you like me to show you the garden?'”
ACOWAR Chapter 28
“She pointed at Lucien as she saw herself out. 'Try sitting down with her. Just talking—sensing. See what you pick up. But don’t push.'
ACOWAR Chapter 29
“The sound seemed to startle Elain, who swiftly set down her teacup. She rose to her feet, and Lucien shot to his.
'I’m sorry,' he blurted.
'What—what was that?'
Mor put a hand on my knee to keep me from rising, too.
'It—it was a tug. On the bond.'”
ACOWAR Chapter 30
“'Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.'
'I can help her,' said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose.”
I just want to say that I am not hating on Lucien or anything, he was trying his best in ACOWAR and it was hard for him. I just think that the only connection he seems to have with Elain is a supposed (that was a joke don't come for me) mating bond.
The interactions between Lucien and Elain does not compare to the interactions between Elain and Azriel. And again, their interactions were subtle, however that's the whole point. They see each other, since then and still now. Elriel's connection is unmatched and I cannot wait to get a whole book of them.
What I just wrote is my opinion based on the text, but as always ship who you want to ship and be kind!
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Kinda hoping for an elriel scene where Rhys has to yell or something at Az and so Elain steps in front of him instinctively, all protective like (bonus points if she starts to glow- cause powers) and so then Rhys gets mad cause he sees them so close he figures out they’ve been secretly dating and yells something like “I told you to stay away from her!” Queue Elain releasing all kinds of fury on Rhys cause she just found out that he was the reason they were a secret.
I just want protective elriel and a little drama is that too much to ask for?
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Feyre: Elain is in danger!
Azriel: *risks his life with no hesitation*
Cassian: Gwyn is in danger!
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What do you guys think Elriel’s first dance will be?
Personally, I’m hoping for them to be in a secluded meadow or field where they can be together in peace. Azriel is lamenting about the fact that he wasn’t able to dance with Elain the night before when he gets the idea to ask Elain to dance now.
“Now? But there’s no music?”
Azriel, who has been practicing his waltz to impress Elain, effortlessly sweeps her into his arms and dances with her until she’s breathless.
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The funniest back track (and there is a few) in all years in the ACOTAR fandom has got to be people going from screaming from the rooftops “elriel are like siblings/only platonic” to suddenly “he only sees her as a sex object and wants her for sex”
Are yall not embarrazzzeeed 🤣 make it make sense 🐸☕️
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Elain is the first person to hold Truth Teller
Elain is the first person other than Azriel in this series to stepped out of a shadow
Elain is the first person to compliment Azriel’s scar
Elain is the first person to make Azriel laugh that show his true eye colours
Elain is the first person to make Azriel’s lost the snowball fight
Elain is the first person that owned the necklace in which Azriel’s choose sepecifically for her
No wonder people hate Elain. She just breathing and a 500 years old spymaster ready to beg on his knees to taste her
What a queen👸
Never settle for less. Choose a guy/woman that love us for who we are and that doesn’t give us a secondhand item.🥰
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Elriel is the kind of couple who are cute, fluffy in the morning and freaky in the night
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Flufftober Day 21: Fight and Apologize
Word Count: 4,564
Warnings: extreme fluff ahead.
“I want to know why you’re ashamed of me.”
The butterknife of peanut butter clattered abruptly to the island and his head sharply turned with an expression of such bewilderment and confusion displayed.
“Excuse me?” Azriel iterated. “What did you say?”
Elain crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway. “What did I say?”
“I think you said that I’m ashamed of you,” he abandoned the process of making her peanut butter sandwich altogether as he gaped and stepped away from the island, brushing off his hands. “But I think I might have hallucinated that.”
Elain simply stared back. “No. I’m wondering why you are.”
Azriel stood straight, his brow furrowed deeply enough for a garden to find a home there. “Are you listening to yourself?”
“I am,” she shrugged. “Are you?”
“What on earth would ever give you the impression that I am?”
Elain raised an eyebrow.
The small kitchen of her apartment never felt so tense and stiff as they stood there, Azriel in his work clothes still and her in her pyjamas and sniffling runny nose. The idea of dating secretly had been an attractive option, at the start, where it had been only them in the isolation of their feelings and the world’s meddling an off-putting obstacle to face. Elain had wanted anything of Azriel she could have, having pined and yearned for enough time to count a century that the quiet confession of his feelings felt like the world gifted to her disbelieving hands.
But now, an entire successful year where she was adamant that she loved him and no admission of the sorts from him, she needed more. Isolation was a fun concept until the unfed mind and stifled love devoured themselves- Elain was bursting at the seams for stability and surety. She wanted to settle, her heart needed the permission to settle down with its love and supply steady supplies for evermore.
Yet, no allowance was in sight.
Not when Azriel had yet to breathe a single word about her, even look at her in public. Outings with their friends, they were nothing more than simple acquaintances with mutual friends and siblings between them. Such a lie, a contrast to the burning stars erupting together in exploding supernovas when they were alone- that introverted kind of love, precious and pure and hidden from eyes, wasn’t meant for normal life. Dull, mediocre in this small world of theirs.
The last straw for Elain had been Feyre’s bewildered expression when Cassian mused that she and Azriel might hit it off, and that he should set her up with his friend. Feyre had stared strangely, “Them together? I always thought Azriel was aromantic. Elain has dreamt of a Disney kind of love since we were kids.”
Aromantic her ass, Azriel was just quiet- too quiet. But he loved fervently, with a passion molten hot as lava and deep as the inner core of the earth.
A blessing and misfortune, as fate would have it.
“Elain,” he said slowly, approaching her. “What do mean that I’m ashamed of you?”
She wasn’t vain just as she wasn’t blind, Elain knew how she looked, her positives and her disadvantages. She’d always believed she was good looking, and her personality was nothing abhorring even if she diligently worked on improving constantly. She wasn’t the smartest but she was hardworking.
Yet the crowd Azriel hung around put her to shame that it made her wonder why he’d choose her from the pick of company he could have, friendships and otherwise- because he’d chosen her to be his everything: confidante, friend, partner, family. She was honored, but the question begged to be asked why he had no intention of letting anyone know that.
Intellects, geniuses, gorgeous models with personalities that put the sun to shame, extroverted people who made you cry laughing. He hung around them all, successful tycoons of their different industries, and Elain knew she was slacking behind- the little florist with her small flower shop round the corner. Hardworking as she was, she needed to know the faults he couldn’t accept, to fix them. Because that was what she did; she made mistakes, took note of them, improved and fixed them and never made them again.
“What is it about me you don’t want others not knowing?” She asked, looking up as he towered tall over her, so close, his expression shuttered. “Why-“ she sniffled a slew of cold mucus before he pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket. Despite their discussion, Elain blew into it as he held it to her nose and gently wiped her red nose. “Thank you. Why won’t you let me around your friends?”
Azriel’s brow furrowed deeper.
“Like- why don’t we show up to Feyre’s birthday together next week?” She asked. “Why don’t you want people know we’re together?”
He blinked. “I work for your father, Elain.”
Not exactly but yes. Unfortunately, but yes.
It was how they originally met; Elain habitually went out for lunch with her father every Wednesday, a tradition started back when she was a child. She had gone to pick her father up from a meeting in one of the companies belonging to him, and Marvin Archeron had asked her to come up meet the people he worked with.
It had been hopeless from that moment, three years ago, when their eyes met over her father and the CEO’s shoulders, Azriel back then the impressive Chief Analytics Officer with eyes only for her in that hallway outside the conference room. Her father spared him no little amount of compliments; the brilliant analyst with even better suggestions. Her father liked to have many fingers in many pies, always on the lookout for talent which his life’s interest was to give the right amount of ammunition, and Azriel quickly found himself sped up the ladder of corporate.
Elain suspected that her father’s obsession with creating new projects and companies would never end, and suspected further that his madness loved to collect brilliant people and keep them around him.
Now, Chief Executive Officer of Dusk, and madly in love with her, Azriel was at a crossroads.
And damn everything, she understood. She did- it was awkward enough that his boss was the same man Elain complained about his failed attempts at relationships with people, but she couldn’t see why she had to hide and pretend like the man her father praised so highly wasn’t the same man she wanted to speak similar praise about.
Her shoulders tensed. “You see him once a year, I don’t think that counts as him being your boss. You’re your own boss.”
Azriel’s arms crossed over his chest. “You know it’s more than that.”
It was- frequent golf games and non-work related meetings with different kinds of investors and tycoons, long hours on the phone, discussing never-ending business prospects on the phone. Technically, her father needn’t be so in contact with Azriel but it was clear that he was taking him under his wing, encouraging him and nurturing his career prospects.
Azriel had many ladders to climb, many milestones to achieve, and her father was determined to see him succeed.
“I don’t see the problem of him finding out,” she answered, looking away. “It’s not like he’s not in love with you already.”
Azriel lowered his head to reconnect their eyes together. “It’s not only him. It’s-”
“God, yes, I know, you don’t want people to think you bought your way upstairs,” she rolled her eyes with a huff. “Not that anyone gives the foggiest-”
“Elain,” Azriel cut her off. “You wanted to keep this a secret as much as I did.”
She clenched her jaw. “Because I didn’t know how to tell my dad I’m in love with his CAO, not because-because I’m ashamed of you-”
“You flinched when I touched you,” he reminded her, face so serious and grave she wondered if she’d dug a grave for both of them now. “You remember? When he invited you to lunch with us and I barely touched your back to let you pass-”
She groaned and pressed her face to her hands. “I didn’t mean it,” her muffled voice made it through her fingers. “I just didn’t expect-”
“He pulled me aside and threatened to cut me up in thirty different ways if I ever touched you again,” Azriel incredulously said. “Not to mention his small little threat that my body won’t be found and if it did, they wouldn’t recognise me.”
“It was an accident.”
“And who the fuck said I’m ashamed of you?”
It was a sign of how flustered and agitated he was getting that Azriel was swearing in her presence. He was all perfect manners and class where she was involved; the perfect gentleman of manners and a patience that never saw any ends, a calm confident temperament that nothing wavered except on the occasions his heart was touched. He was a little insane then. Flustered and bursting at the seams.
Emotionally spoiled and coddled as she was, any sign of the pricking chill in his mannerism had her moaning like a petulant child. She grit her teeth as her skin prickled and suddenly she regretted even breaching the subject. The thought of the evening they would have had seemed as distant as a dream- stupid sick Elain, why couldn’t she have just been content with curling on her sofa, watching Love, Actually while it snowed and Azriel fell asleep? He made monster hot chocolates, and her sniffling nose could have convinced him to do anything in order to make her better.
Anything except this, it seemed.
“It’s the only reason I can think,” she managed to say. “That I’m not good enough-”
“Fucking hell are you listening to yourself?”
“Don’t swear at me.”
“Don’t talk bullshit then,” he demanded, eyes flaring slightly as he stepped back. “Not good enough- bullshit, Elain.”
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not ashamed,” her voice rose a notch, going shriller and thinner as it trembled and her clogged up airways fought for breath.
“Yeah I’m fucking ashamed- of me. Not you- never you- I’m ashamed of this between us. That there’s this thing between us, and it’s with you, and God help me, I can’t look anyone in the eyes and have them realize what a fucking asshole I am-”
“This thing is the most precious thing in my life,” Elain reminded him, clenching her fists. “This thing is my love, and I won’t let you insult it like it means nothing-”
“Elain, baby, sunflowers,” Azriel stepped close to cup her face. “I don’t know what to say-”
“Tell me you want this as much as I do.”
“Of course I don’t,” he snapped and her heart sank. “You can’t ever want this like I do. I don’t want it, need it, like you do- I live and breathe for it, and if it goes away then my life will go back to being miserable because you’ve ruined life for me, Elain. This for you is something casual, just another perk of life, but for me this is everything. And if I lose it, I don’t know what I’ll do with my life. And that’s pathetic, but it is what it is-”
“I don’t see how that’s a bad thing-”
“How can we have something you call love when we want it differently?” Azriel asked, eyes sad and devastated, it was like she was breaking up with him. Couldn’t he understand she wanted the opposite? That Elain felt brave and ready enough to further implement it in her life.
Elain stepped closer, her chest caving in with little air and exhaustion. “I can’t show you how I want it when you won’t give me the sign to. You have us stuck in that period where we’re oblivious and drunk on emotions we don’t know about and I’m ready to tell you I’ve figured out some of them, but you won’t let me, and you haven’t figured out your own emotions.”
He looked away sharply and Elain reached to uncross his arms and lace her hand with his. “I’m ready to start loving you, but whenever I tell you that, you dismiss it like I don’t know what I want and I hate it. I hate it. I hate when you do what others do because you’re supposed to be the different one.”
Azriel clenched her jaw, she went on rasping with her sick voice. “You can’t understand that I could love you, and you think I’m the problem. But you are, because you think there’s something wrong with you that no one can possibly know you.”
His eyes were dark when he sharply glanced at her.
“I don’t know what it is,” she confessed, staring down at his mangled hands. “That you’ve put up your walls for so long you’ve forgotten they have gates, or that you don’t think yourself capable of being loved, or that you’re afraid of it. Or that you still don’t know what you’re feeling. And I want you to tell me, because here I am, telling you I’m ready to stay, to start thinking with you if forever could be an option, but there you are, back to that stage where you didn’t think I’d ever be interested in you and it exhausts me, Az. Going through this cycle over and over with no change- let me love you. Let yourself love me. Just- just-”
Exhaustion cut her breath short and she dropped his cool hand.
“My feelings haven’t changed,” he said tightly. “Since I laid eyes on you. And I still don’t understand them.”
Sighing, Elain nodded her head. So she’d moved on quickly, then- it was her fault for thinking a year could have been enough to nurture whatever attraction they had into something tangible and real.
“Fine,” she muttered, turning on her heel and heading towards the front door.
“Where’re you going?” he darted after her, his voice shaking and his face a paler shade of brown.
Elain slowly pulled on her coat over her pyjamas. “I’m not mad, I just want a walk-”
“Stay, relax, I’ll leave-”
“It’s not about you,” she muttered the hideous lie. “But I’d prefer it if you didn’t follow me. I just want to cool off-”
She hurried past him, her eyes stinging and her lips tightly pressed together. She wouldn’t do this infront of him, not further the pitiful image he had of her. Crying over a relationship in the Christmas season was dramatic as it is, but in her sick state it was just pathetic. There wouldn’t be any cute, quiet, cheek-rolling tears that made her eyes look tastefully red in artistic sadness.
So she sat in the park a ten minute walk away from her building, on an ass-biting cold bench in the substance-less sunlight, shivering in her coat and sniffling as she quietly cried on her knees. Dramatic woefulness of the privileged few, sixteen year-old her would have been thrilled.
Half an hour later, with her phone buzzing and pinging and going mad with notifications, Elain gloomily stared at the bare trees, ignoring the device wholeheartedly; she didn’t have the heart to further blabber to Azriel in this pathetic state, and well if he got anxious with her silence, then at least she wasn’t the only one feeling dismayed on a day like this.
God, she was a proper heathen, wasn’t she? The man had taken the rest of the day off work the minute she told him she was sick, showed up with nothing but his anxious heart and worry, had listened to her trivial moans and complaints, scoured every guide on the internet and looked up all her symptoms, and her payment had been to spring that delightful conversation on him.
Yeah- she could see the shame-worthy qualities.
Heavily sighing and feeling guilty forty minutes following her dramatic flee from her apartment, Elain trudged back to her place. When would she have a home?
Bitterness made her twist her lips as she walked back. She wanted to make both their places her home, wanted to make him her home, and she was impatient to do so. Unfair, God she knew it was unfair, but when a girl like her had grown without a home be it a place or a person, she learned to yearn for it all her life.
With her rude departure, Elain didn’t expect to find him sitting at the small table in the corner where they had their meals, with her fat British Shorthair in his lap and his head in his palm. Azriel sharply looked up when she walked in and she stopped in front of his knees.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized simply, glancing at Thomas peering up at her with accusatory yellow eyes- the traitor to the crown, she’d ordered and orchestrated his beheadings many times already for loving Azriel more than he did her even though she was his lifeline. But she couldn’t truly despise him for it, not when Thomas’s acceptance of Azriel was such a good sign, especially Azriel’s reciprocation of the sentiments.
The blithering cat’s approval was the reason her heart was pathetically in love as it is. Elain narrowed her eyes at him.
“Don’t apologize,” Azriel said gruffly. “Never apologize. Not to me.”
Wanting to move on from this mess, Elain quirked up the corner of her mouth. “Except when I steal your Oreos.”
His eyes softened, and the way his body relaxed subtly but very, very visibly vanished any sort of tension between them. There, gone and dusted and never to be thought of again- glad they could forget it all.
“Baby, go get dressed.”
She peered down at her two piece button down with a frown. “I’m sick, I get to muck around in PJs all day.”
Azriel regarded her with a strange look. “Not outside, you don’t.”
She blinked. “Were we supposed to go somewhere? I’m sorry-”
“I’m taking you out for dinner,” he said simply.
Elain blinked again. “Ok… but it’s still early for dinner.”
He smiled that sultry smile of his that was the reason, amongst a plethora of them, that Elain was in this lovey-dovey state in the first place. Her heart sighed at the appearance of it as it always did and would always do. “Want to catch the shops before dinner.”
A smile she couldn’t fight bloomed on her lips. “What shops?”
“I’m taking you shopping,” he smiled. “Didn’t you say you wanted a dress for Feyre’s party-?”
“I was being stupid,” she laughed, nervous and hands clammy- fuck being in love it was hard. Hard being in love with him, specifically. “I have dresses, I just-”
“Baby,” he cut her off. “Just get dressed.”
So she did, smiling like an idiot as she quickly exchanged her sleepwear for more suitable clothing, her hot, fever-ridden body forgetting the illness it harbored as excitement churned her guts. He’d never gone shopping with her, they didn’t eat out- this was a first.
What kind of shopper was he? Would he trail after her with bored sighs like anyone else? Cassian had a window of five minutes to spend at once place, and anymore stalling he’d disappear. Rhysand was an online-shopper and he never fetched anything himself, barking his orders at whatever unfortunate soul had to be working for him to fetch what he was thinking of and God help the poor soul who couldn’t cater to his very, very specific mental imagery. Elain’s father himself merely gave her his card and told her to splurge while he talked on the phone or sat down somewhere.
The answer to her wondering was a glorious little detail that did nothing to save her heart from complete and utter dismay.
Azriel in public was a mix of assured confidence and reservation. He was respectful as he expected the same from others. There was no road rage as he drove them around the busy streets. He was both the man she first laid eyes on, but in his eyes lurked the youthful soul that relished in her presence.
He walked her to luxury brands in shopping centers, arm around her waist with easy little smiles to clerks and passers by, ignored her little protests about the budget she had. His infinite patience showed its streak and damn him, damn him to eternal suffering in the form of her unbearing love, it made him all the more attractive.
Elain had to keep looking away to actually focus on what they were doing. She soon discovered that there was little else sexier than a man so self-assured of himself browsing through dresses for his girl. He was the best shopping partner as he was the best partner for anything else- actively contemplating different models and giving her the truth, those analytical skills he was renown for proving to be invaluable as they searched for a dress she liked.
She blushed like a cherry when he’d accept the clerk’s help with things like “Hello, we’re looking for a dress for my Elain” or “my Elain needs a dress for her sister’s party and it’s kind of a big thing”.
His Elain. Sly little git, he knew what it did to her.
His Elain, she mused as she half-heartedly browsed expensive dresses as he trailed after her with his phone in hand. She was wondering that if they were at a stage that allowed, she’d have dragged him into never-ending mirror selfies and posted them all everywhere until people were sick of her. But then he pulled her in for one and her grin was stupid and blinding until she took the phone from him and took them herself. Arms locked around her, their faces hidden, his smile burning against her neck and her own blinding. Her purse slung over his shoulder and several shopping bags hanging from his fingers.
Azriel loved publicly with little kisses, adoring eyes, hands held together, calling her ‘his’ to any soul that would listen, swiping his cards, incurring incredible financial losses but with every dollar lost, his smile gained in value. He caught her staring at a window display of an emerald off-shoulders ball gown and asked her what was the matter.
“Nothing,” she admitted, indulging childhood memories of her parents dressed to the nines in their finery, mother-of-pearls in her mother’s ears and around her neck, her father fixing his cufflinks before leaving for balls and galas. “I’ve just always wanted to wear them.”
Azriel only frowned slightly. “Why don’t you?”
She laughed softly. “It’s not like I’m turning down invitations to galas and balls, Az.”
He was quiet then and made no mention of it ever again as they went on with their day. Nevermind that come next year, he’d throw a charity ball in her name for her birthday, and Azriel would toast her good health in front of his associates, friends, family, her father, in a way that blurred her eyes and made everyone else disappear. Call her his eternal happiness and ‘here’s to many more years, my darling’ or ‘Scientists can look for eternity and the meaning of the universe in their books and papers, but they won’t know that I’ve found it in your soul, or that the miracles of existence lie in your eyes and perfect bliss is your love. Happy birthday to me, Elain. No one could be more delighted about your existence than I am.’
Aromantic her ass, the man was a dragon hoarding his affections,, and Elain relished in being the key that set him free.
He was never the same after that day, much in the same way she never complained ever again of his withdrawn affections. Azriel loved freely, his love overflowing and pouring with no end in site and it filled her up, up, up until she was drowning and she’d never delighted in a flood taking her before.
She didn’t get why her phone would not shut up in her pocket, but she didn’t check, not while she was witnessing this miracle unfold before her eyes, not when she didn’t know if this was going to be forever or he was just indulging her. All she knew was that it was hard, incredibly hard, to not love him forever when he was like that and it was almost unfair of him to expect her not to love him in turn.
“I’m not used to getting what I want,” he confessed that night in her apartment when she was stuffed with Italian food and they both had their fill of intoxicating love. “And it’s-it’s” his words slightly slurred though he hadn’t drunk anything. “It’s tough for me to say what I want, mostly to myself, because I can’t handle disappointment and-and today felt good. It feels good to not care, to love freely and-”
“I get it,” she giggled.
“No- this is me telling you,” he said firmly, grasping her head in his hands. “That yeah, I’ve forgotten there are gates, and that I don’t understand what I’m feeling only that it’s a lot and that my feelings haven’t changed in the slightest, and that if this is what love is then God, Elain, I’ve loved you the moment I laid eyes on you and I want to love you, freely, unconditionally, if you’ll let me.”
Her fever was long forgotten as she giggled in his hold and she grasped his face. “You idiot,” she whispered, hushed, lips split into a grin that hurt her cheeks. “You idiot- idiot-”
She laughed and he held her tightly as if he’d never let her go, and Thomas circled their feet smugly as Elain crushed Azriel in a hug that throttled every withheld affection out of them both and he grinned.
Perfect bliss indeed.
She didn’t know that her phone was going through a fit because she had a new follower on Instagram, and that she’d been recently tagged in a selfie of her and Azriel. The person in question held the username @azriel and beneath it An Idiot Apparently whom almost every mutual friend was her sisters and their spouses.
The photo in question wasn’t the best of their photos together, but it was from a nap in his living room where exhaustion wrung them out both, and they’d woken up two hours later, and Azriel whilst texting with Cassian accidentally opened the camera. She couldn’t resist reaching out and clicking the button that captured how they’d been then. Her head on his shoulder, the frame was filled up with their faces only, her smile abashed and cheeky and his caught in the split second of a smile.
But it was the caption beneath that had her phone erupting.
@elainarch I’ll love you every day, and I’ll love you if I never see you again and there are no buts. No matter what. The way you love Oreos and hate knock-offs, I promise to keep your cabinets stocked and your days beautiful. I promise to never let you question my love and I promise to love you until nothing and everything ends and we’re dust in the universe. I swear to love you enough for it to last a lifetime, and other lifetimes if we are ever reborn. And I promise to never keep it to myself.
My specialty in life is writing impossible shit and then raising my standards too high. This will come bite me in the rear later on in life, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Also this wasn't proofread as you can tell. Cheers.
Tags: @tswaney17 @julesherondalex @56bloodyfingers @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @mademoisellenimbob @christiashadows @awkward-avocado-s @mis-lil-red @gorl-power @thesirenwashere @so-yeah-imma-witch @sadbitchlorcan @stars-falling @trying-to-read @dreamerforever-5 @starlitfangirl @hail-doodles @eloeloeheheh @i-am-lost-in-my-world @abraxos-is-toothless @elain-shadowsinger @1islessthan3books @elrielllll @negativenesta @b00kworm @harmonyindark245 @ducksmurf135 @meakathebesteversstuff @empress-ofbloodshed @sleeping-and-books @lord-douglas-the-third @thewayshedreamed @agem10 @superspiritfestival @maybekindasortaace @maastrash @courtofjurdan @ireallyshouldsleeprn @autophobiaxx @bookstaninthesoul @elriel4life
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So, I started writing a new fic and I thought I should give you all a little taste in the form of a summary:
Elain goes to a Halloween party dressed at Rey from Star Wars. When she sees her ex-boyfriend Graysen at the party, she decides to ask the stranger dressed as Kylo Ren to pretend to be her date since they already have matching costumes.
She didn’t expect the stranger to be hotter than Adam Driver.
Elain has read Reylo fanfics for years, and all of a sudden, it’s like she’s living one.
I just love the similarities between Reylo and Elriel, and as someone who loves both ships, this is my little guilty pleasure. Hopefully, I will be able to finish it this weekend/early next week.
(Yes. It will be smutty.)
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This is a scene I definitely need in the elriel book:
Mors footsteps barely made a sound as she rounded the corner of Feyre and Rhys' roof. A lone figure sat, head resting on the brick wall behind him, his shadows spread out creating a sea of darkness. She came to a halt, not knowing how to proceed forward.
Cassian had come to meet Mor at their little cafe. She had been enjoying the cool spring breeze as Cassian sat in the seat in front of her, seemingly at lost for words which was unusual and a bit disturbing. In all the years Mor had known him she knew how much he despised the silence.
"Alright Cass I give in, what's wrong?"
The warrior looked up at her. Raising a hand, he rubbed the back of his neck. There was a strange tightness to his entire posture. Ok, Mor thought something was definitely off.
"Cass your worrying me, is it something to do with Nyx? Rhys? Nesta -
His name hung heavily between them.
"Mor, I'm worried about him, ever since Solstice he hasn't been himself. He rarely comes to training, claiming he's too busy with missions from Rhys. He goes day on ends without sending word and when he does come back its very brief. He hasn't come to dinner in months nor has he slept properly at the HoW. He hasn't had a proper conversation with me or Rhys or anyone" Cass took a deep breath, running his hands desperately through his hair. "Mor, you've always been able to get him to talk. There's clearly something going on with him and we're all beginning to worry, this is far from his normal behaviour."
And that's how Mor found herself here, on the rooftop, the lights of velaris glittering softly beneath her. She tiptoed her way to Az, though it was useless. As soon as the shadows spotted her they flitttered to their masters ear. Yet Az didn't move.
She was standing directly in front of him. He looked terrible. His hair was a mess of spilt ink, there were dark bags beneath his eyes. His face seems shallower as though he hadn't eaten. She had never seen him in such a state. The questions immediately bubbled to her tongue but years of experience told her she wouldn't get anything out of him. So instead she slumped next to him, copying his posture. It was then that a flicker of movement caught her eye.
Az was twirling a red rose covered in thorns.
"What are you doing here?" His voice was hoarse.
He cracked his eyes open to look at her. Eyes that had always been filled with shadows. It was where he kept his vault of dark secrets yet in the last few years they'd been lighter, more gem like.
Just like everyone else, she wondered what had happened. Did someone die? Suddenly Mor realised that he and asked her a question.
"I just came for the breeze. And to talk to you"
"Who was it? Cass or Feyre?"
"Cass. He's been worried about you. Apparently you've stopped showing up to train Nesta and the girls? Not to mention you dont come for family dinners anymore."
Az said nothing, he seemed far away, out of anyones reach.
"Rhys has me busy. There's still enemies that want to bring havoc about. I simply have been caught up with spying on them. Nothing else. Don't worry about it" his tone left no more room for questioning. Az closed his eyes again, resting once more. Mor let him of for his lie. She had checked up with Rhys. He had told Az to go on one mission that was meant to last for 4 days. Something or someone was keeping him away from his family and Mor wanted to know what it was.
However if she questioned him again, he would simply leave. So instead she told him a story about a couple she had met on her way back home. Newly mated. Az simply smiled faintly as she babbled on, still twirling the Rose. Finally mor let herself fall silent. Pondering. That day Mor will never know what had come over her. Maybe it was the darkness and the security it brought that she voiced a thought that had been locked up in her heart for too long.
"Az...do you believe a mate is the only way us fae can ever get a taste of true love? Or is it not possible to have an all consuming love with someone if you were never fated for that person?"
He was silent. Mor let her question hang in the space between them. Each word carrying a heavy weight of their own. She waited for an answer but none came. So instead she deemed this meeting useless and got up. Taking a few steps forward Mor wondered how she was going to break her failure to Cass when Az's voice broke the silence.
"No. I refuse to believe that you can only have true love with your mate. There will be someone out there for you that will show you an all consuming type of love. A love that leaves you craving nothing else but that person. Your entire world becomes useless and bleak when your apart. That love Mor is more valuable than anything else because it was a love born of choice, not fate. Having someone choose you above what fate had planned for them, is a love so true that it breaks the hold fate has on us all"
He got up, the rose still in his hands, his wings stretched behind him. Azriel looked up at the stars, a breeze blowing his hair away, until she could see the entirety of his face. Pain and suffering was etched on to each hard line. His eyes held his tears captive.
"I hope you find that love Mor and when you do never let it go"
And with that he left, leaving Mor breathless and stunned.
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Mood: Azriel calling Elain ‘my wife’ all the time, to everyone. In Illyrian.
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as we wait in anticipation💅...
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I have a thing with Elain and Azriel massaging each other.
I JUST NEED A SCENE LIKE THIS IN THEIR BOOK. PLEASE.
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Rowan & Aelin in Queen of Shadows:
He let out another low groan, answer and confirmation and request, and the rumble echoed inside her.
Azriel & Elain in Azriel's Bonus Chapter:
Azriel's hand slid up her neck, burying in her thick hair. Tilting her face the way he wanted it. Elain's mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before fluttering shut.
Offer and permission.
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You Painted Me Golden — Chapter 5
Summary: Elain enters her reputation era. This chapter includes: girl talk, confrontations, and first times.
This story can also be found on AO3
Chapter 5 — I Did Something Bad
They say I did something bad — Then why’s it feel so good?
The silk sheets of Azriel’s bed clung to Elain’s sweaty back and the sound of the wooden bed frame hitting the wall rang out through the room — it was accompanied by Azriel’s heavy breathing, the high-pitched moans creeping out of Elain’s throat, and the repetitive slapping of skin as Azriel thrust into her. The hard bud’s of Elain’s breasts grazed against Azriel’s damp chest, she had just found out that night how sensitive they were, and Azriel wasn’t afraid to torture her with that information.
His rough hand grasped her left knee, the one with the evidence of their bargain marked upon it, and lifted her leg up higher. Elain’s scream reached an octave she didn’t know was possible as he reached deeper in her than ever before.
When she had knelt before him earlier that night in order to rid Azriel of his clothing, she was shocked at the sight of his cock — thick and veiny and glistening right before her eyes. The length startled her, and she suddenly wondered if she had gotten in over her head, but the deep moan Azriel let out as her fingers drifted over his sensitive skin caused her insides to warm and briefly swept away all her worries. Elain had the urge lick the blunt tip of him, and briefly thought about ignoring it, but the way his glazed, golden eyes stared down at her through heavy lids practically dared her to do it.
His hand fisted in her hair at the touch of her tongue, and he pulled her head back abruptly — otherwise he ran the risk of coming right there on her face, even though the image of Elain covered in his seed was deeply appealing. This was so like the dream he had while he was away that Azriel was almost convinced himself that he was dreaming again, but he wasn’t. Azriel had forgotten his strength and accidentally jerked her head back a little too roughly, but the way Elain’s cheeks flushed and the small sound that escaped her told Azriel everything he needed to know. His little fawn liked it.
She looked at him with wide, trusting eyes and Azriel said, “We have time to explore that later.”
Azriel had shadow-walked her home this morning back to the river house. He placed the most delicate of all kisses on her cheek and stepped away before the door opened to a fuming Rhysand.
“Get. In. Here. Now.” Rhysand said through clenched teeth, his violet eyes were spitting fire at Azriel. Elain felt a blush scorch her cheeks as she realized she hadn’t bathed since yesterday morning — everyone in the house could smell the evidence of what she and Azriel had done last night.
Elain quickly walked past her brother-in-law as he held the door open for her, and she noticed that Rhysand didn’t wait for Azriel. He followed her as she walked into the living room off to the side, where Feyre was sitting having tea. Her sister looked pale as she held a delicate, porcelain tea cup and stirred in her sugar. The faint tapping of the silver spoon echoed throughout the room as they waited for Azriel to join them, and Elain felt the sinking suspicion that she and Azriel were about to be scolded like a couple of teenagers.
Rhysand was clenching his jaw so tightly that Elain thought his teeth would shatter completely. He stood with crossed arms watching his Spymaster and sister-in-law. Elain knew exactly how they looked. They both wore the same clothing from yesterday; Elain’s blue dress had lost some of its luster and gained wrinkles and creases from where it laid at the foot of Azriel’s bed, there was even a tiny tear that appeared when Azriel had taken it off, and the bow tied at the back of her neck had gone limp. Her hair was knotted, tangled, and frizzed from the friction of Azriel’s pillow.
Azriel didn’t look too different. His clothes were oddly neat, but a pleased smile graced his lips.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Rhysand growled, his violet eyes burning bright as he looked at them. They were a respectable distance apart, but only a fool wouldn’t be able to tell what they were doing just hours ago. Elain was certain that their scents were so laced together that no fae would be able to tell where one scent began and the other ended, especially with the heady smell of desire radiating off of them. Elain loved the aroma so much, the aroma of them that she wanted to bottle it into a perfume and wear it everyday.
Elain fought the urge to reach for Azriel’s hand for strength. If they were going to act like it was a one time thing she would have to distance herself. She took a deep breath.
“I’m not sure how it’s any of your business.” Elain said in a voice that wasn’t unkind and clasped her hands behind her back. She didn’t want anyone to see that they were shaking.
“You’re our sister, Elain,” Feyre said delicately from the couch with an expression of confusion and concern. “We worry when you don’t come home.”
Nuala and Cerridwen must have kept her secrets.
“It wasn’t as if I met some random male, I was with Azriel,” Elain said, her gaze flickered to him to see his stony expression. “I was safe.” If she didn’t know better she would have thought the words had no effect on him, but she did know better. His shoulders relaxed just a bit, and his hands were no longer fisted to the point of showing white knuckles, but they were still balled into fists at his sides.
Rhysand pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, and he was most likely counting to ten.
“That is besides the point,” Rhys grunted. He opened his eyes and ran an annoyed hand over his face. His glare fixated on Azriel. “Are you incapable of thinking without your cock?”
Azriel’s stare turned deadly, and Elain moved before the two brothers came to blows.
“It was my idea!” She exclaimed, fury bubbled in veins. “I was the one that suggested we leave and…” Her face burned under the eyes of her sister and brother-in-law. Elain wasn’t a prude, as Azriel was aware, but that didn’t mean she wanted ther family knowing the intimate details of her life. “I was the one that wanted a night together. I’ve been attracted to Azriel since I laid eyes on him, and I wanted to act on it.”
Rhysand turned green and looked vaguely disgusted. Feyre, however, looked more confused than ever.
“A night?” Feyre asked.
“Yes,” Elain said with confidence. “One night. We decided it would be for the best if we had one night together to get this… attraction out of our system.” Her stomach curdled at the lie and the heavy silence emanating from Azriel. He knew, Elain comforted herself, he knew that she was lying.
They say I did something bad — but why’s it feel so good?
“I’ve never done this before.” Elain said as she straddled him. Azriel twisted them around, allowing Elain to rest on top of him — her breasts presented to his hungry eyes, and he delighted in the fact that her hair tried desperately to hide the rosy peaks that pebbled forward. Elain felt exposed on top of him like this, but the desire etched plainly on his face and the warm, firm hands that clasped her hips made her feel safe.
She felt his hardness slide against her slick center, and Elain was in awe of the fact that he was able to go again so soon after his release. Azriel’s stamina was added to the ever growing list of surprises that she discovered about him tonight.
His cock twitched and poked at her as Elain slid against him. The animalistic growl that came from his throat told her that he didn’t appreciate the way she was teasing him, so she bit her lip as she raised herself up just to lower onto his impressive length.
Elain felt overwhelmingly full. It felt different being on top, but she wanted to try it. All she could feel was how tauntly she was stretched around him to the point of discomfort. The look of complete and utter bliss on his face made her hesitate, but he had asked her to be vocal about what she felt. She decided to take a little more of him, but abruptly stopped. It hadn’t felt like this when he was on top, it was utterly delicious when he was sliding into her, but now she felt him too much.
“Az?” She asked in a tentatively small voice which caused his eyelids to fly open. “I think you’re too big. At least, it's too big for me — this way.” Elain whispered sheepishly. An embarrassed blush spread across her body, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth he immediately had her on her back. Her head towards the foot of the bed while their feet nudged the pillows, his wings above them.
“I’m sorry,” Azriel sputtered. “I forget how large I am sometimes, and you were taking me so well before.”
It was Azriel’s turn to blush, but her discomfort had eased in this position, and soon that heavenly warmth was pooling in her core once again.
Elain used the tip of her index finger to trace the length of his nose and asked, “Maybe we could work our way up to it? I’d like to try again some day.” She gave a bashful smile.
Azriel smiled a boyish smile in return, and Elain noticed a small indent in his cheek. She let out a gasp, and immediately pressed her pinky into his cheek.
“You have a dimple!” Elain exclaimed.
“What? No I don’t.” Azriel replied. His smile had faded into a look of confusion, which Elain had found utterly charming.
“Yes you do,” Elain stated and pressed down into the spot the dimple had been. “Right there.” Elain giggled as Azriel turned his head to nip at her pinky.
His hips shifted ever so slightly, but it was enough to cause a ripple of pleasure in her, and soon one of his arms was propped beside her head while the other grasped her hip as he drove into her again, and again. All laughter had faded into breathless sighs, which in turn became wails of euphoria as Azriel’s cock hit the sensitive spot deep inside Elain. She clenched around him and screamed as he bit her shoulder — their climaxes coming at the exact same time.
“You did something bad, Elain.” Feyre said, breaking Elain out of her vivid, vivid memories of the night before. She was suddenly grateful her hair was down and covering her shoulders. It was one thing to smell them on eachother, Elain couldn’t help but think Rhysand would have an even stronger reaction if he saw the bite mark Azriel had left on her shoulder. Elain, on the other hand, would run to a mirror as soon as she got the chance. “Lucien is a good male, and he didn’t deserve what you did to him,” Feyre scolded. “I remember what it felt like when I thought Rhys was interested in someone else at the Summer Court. It was completely awful.”
But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothing
Elain couldn’t stop the twinge of guilt that threaded through her, but he had claimed her as his mate to a complete and total stranger.
“Lucien,” The name dripped like acid from Elain’s tongue. “Was acting as if I had accepted the bond, and I hadn’t. I was practically starving for a week because everytime I picked up food he would get this hopeful look on his face. And nobody even noticed. He,” Her hands tightened in anger at the situation, she hated that she was somehow portrayed as an evil shrew for tempting Lucien with the mating bond when she had done nothing. “He claimed me as his mate to complete strangers at Rita’s.
A growl tore through the room, and Elain turned to look at Azriel. The shadowsinger looked like wrath incarnate; Shadows swirling around him to create a black, murky aura. Truth-teller gleamed on his thigh, and a pulse of blue glowed from his siphones. His expression promised war and vengeance, but it was darkly arousing. Elain could help the rush of arousal that overcame her and pooled between her legs, and by the way that his hazel eyes met hers, she was certain that everyone was aware of the effect the shadowsinger had over her.
“One night?” Rhysand asked violently, and Elain clenched her teeth to hold her aggravation at bay.
“Yes,” Elain repeated. “We don’t want to jeopardize our friendship, or the inner circle. It would be awkward, to say the least, if we decided to get involved and have our relationship turn sour. I,” She calmed herself. “I would never forgive myself if I came between Azriel and his family.”
That one sentence seemed to dispel some of the tension in the room. The High Lord and his Spymaster were still tinder ready to combust at the slightest spark, but a weird, uneven peace blanketed the room.
“I don’t understand,” Feyre said, her brows furrowed. She took a small sip of her tea. “Why say you want to explore the mating bond just to explore your… attraction to Azriel?” Her blue eyes looked soft upon her sister.
Elain, standing tall with crossed arms and a determined set to her jaw, said, “I didn’t.” And set her gaze directly upon Rhysand, who turned bashful at his mate’s stare.
“I may have been scheming again, Feyre darling.”
I can feel the flames on my skin
Azriel’s tongue glided along the column of her neck leaving a trail of fire in its wake. His large hands slowly wandered across her body, which was languid after their second bout of lovemaking. A sleepy, sedate moan rippled out of Elain as Azriel trailed his tongue into the hollow of her collar bone.
“You have lovely collar bones,” Azriel muttered, his lips a whisper on her skin. “But then everything about you is lovely.”
Elain opened her heavy eyes and took in the delicious sight of a rumpled Azriel after sex. Warmth started churning deep within her from the look of Azriel alone; His eyes were smoldering as he gazed up at her, his raven hair was sticking out in every direction, and the smile on his face was satisfied and sinful. It was a sight that she wanted to see everyday.
Elain was sprawled on her back with her arms thrown up over her head, and her legs spread to accommodate the heavy male laying on her. She welcomed the heavy weight of him.
“You know what I was surprised to learn?” Elain questioned, and continued when Azriel lifted a dark brow. “That your bottom looks just as cute nude as it does clothed.” She smiled at the light blush that appeared on his cheeks, and she took the opportunity to pinch said bottom which caused Azriel to jump slightly.
“You mean to tell me,” Azriel said and propped himself up on his forearms. “That while I have been waxing poetic in my mind about the lilt of your voice, and your undeniable grace, and your beauty that rivals anything in the natural world, you’ve been thinking about my butt?”
She didn’t try to stifle the laugh that erupted out of her.
“I can’t help it. It’s so distracting and cute,” Elain started laughing so hard a small tear trickled down her cheek. “It’s taken all of my self control not to p-pinch it during one of your training sessions, or just whenever you're standing in front of me. You have a very pinchable bottom, Shadowsinger.”
Azriel looked at her in amazement, and leaned down to press his lips against her lone tear. He supposed if he was going to make her cry it was better to be from laughter than from heartache.
He sighed and said, “You have permission to pinch my butt whenever you like.”
His kiss muffled the sounds of delight that she made.
It was a soft kiss at first, just a brushing of lips, but it turned molten like all of their other kisses that night.
Elain felt as Azriel shifted weight to one warm as the other slid down her skin, stopping momentarily to show appreciation for her breast, before gliding over her stomach and settling between her thighs.
Long fingers slid up and down her wet folds, and Elain found herself mewling into Azriel’s shoulder. Two seconds ago she was sated beyond belief and all it took was Azriel’s touch to make her needy for more. She lifted her hips, eager for more of his touch, but he just whispered in her ear,
“Relax. Let me take care of you,” His voice was low and silky, and she wanted to hear more of it. “You were so good, taking all of my cock. It stretched you so much, didn’t it?”
Elain managed a jumble of syllables, but her eyes were closed and she was too absorbed in her desire to form words.
She felt a sharp sting as he flicked her clit.
Her eyes opened wide at the sudden change, his fingers had stilled, and she saw the devilish look on his handsome face.
“Didn't it?” Azriel repeated.
“Yes, you stretched me so much,” She said and was rewarded as he moved his fingers once again. “No one has ever filled me as much as you did,” A growl was pulled from deep inside of him. She shifted her legs so that one was draped over his, giving him better access. “No one ever will.”
His humid breath tickled her neck as he bent his head to hers. His fingers started working her faster, and one plunged deep within her.
“I’m going to fuck you everywhere,” Azriel promised. “I’ll fuck your pretty little mouth, and I’ll be the only who knows what your perfect lips look like wrapped around my cock. I’ll fuck you right here,” One of his fingers drifted lower, towards a place no other male had touched her. “The next day when you’re bent over your garden I’ll be tempted to fuck you again, and when we are all gathering for dinner I’ll be the only know who knows the reason why you’re fidgeting in your seat,” Elain grew hot at his words and started thrusting her hips to the pace he had set with his hand, another finger joined the one inside of her. “And tomorrow I’ll think about how greedily you fucked yourself on my hand,” Flames started licking at her skin as she clenched around his fingers. “For the rest of my life I’ll be thinking about how no female felt as perfect as you around my cock.”
His thumb came up to press against her clit, and the flames consumed her. With a loud scream she released herself around his fingers, and she was surprised that her third orgasm of the night was just as strong as the first two.
“I love knowing that you scream when you come.” Azriel said gently in her ear.
He says, “don’t throw away a good thing”
“He left you a note, Elain.” Feyre said and gestured to the small table in front of her where her tea set was placed. For a moment Elain didn’t realize who she was talking about.
“Lucien? Has he left?” Elain asked, her delicate brows raised in surprise.
“Imagine that,” Rhysand said, his voice teetering between sarcasm and spite with an overall air of cattiness to it. “He didn’t want to stay around while his mate was fucking someone else.”
The words stung deep and sharp, but Elain kept her chin high. She didn’t want to give Rhysand any form of satisfaction.
“Be careful how you speak about Elain.”
The words were soft spoken, but they made everyone go on edge. There was an unspoken pledge in Azriel’s voice — that he would gladly inflict pain upon anyone that would demean Elain, including Rhysand. The tentative peace that settled over them completely evaporated.
“Yes,” Feyre said and stood. She slowly made her way to the rest of the group and handed Elain the letter that was left for her. “Be careful how you speak about my sister.”
It was obvious that the two of them were speaking mind-to-mind, so Elain took the opportunity to read the letter.
I am sorry for whatever offence that I did to cause you to take such drastic actions, and I want you to know that I did it unwittingly. I thought we were finally making progress, and finally working towards being fully mated. I thought it was best that I put distance between myself and you know who. I hope to hear from you soon. Please, I beg you, don’t throw away a good thing — especially for someone so beneath you. I have known of him for the longest time, and I say with confidence that you are too good for him.
Elain was seeing red. Whatever sympathy she had been feeling towards Lucien fizzled out and morphed into something ugly. How dare he? He doesn’t know Azriel, and he certainly doesn’t know me, Elain thought. The heavy handedness of the letter, the pompous, arrogant male who wrote it — it all caused Elain ball the letter up and toss it into the simmering fire. It was one thing for him to make assumptions about her, she could see the effects of the mating bond causing some of his emotions, but how dare Lucien say that Azriel wasn’t good enough for her, as if she would be soiled by being in his mere presence.
Don’t throw away a good thing? They didn’t even have a thing. Not one singular thing did they have between them.
She was quietly raging by the fireplace, watching as the flames licked at the paper until it turned into nothing but ash. The mated couple were too absorbed in silent conversation to notice Elain and the brave, friendly shadow that was comforting her.
It was the same one that was sent to her before, the one Elain left in her bedroom, it had the same cat-like quality to it. It curled around the hem of her dress and then her ankles, and the warmth coming off of it matched the warmth of the fire. Elain watched as it danced through the air, swirling and settling around her neck. It felt like the nose of some small animal nuzzling into her.
Elain let out a small giggle.
“Would it be terribly uninspired if I called you Shadow?” She whispered to it, and it just brushed against her cheek lovingly. Unintentionally she looked over to Azriel, who was staring at her with wide eyes. He looked surprised. She wanted to ask him why, but Rhysands voice broke the quiet of the room.
“I’m sorry, Elain,” He said, looking thoroughly put in his place after Feyre’s scolding. “I — I didn’t mean to insult you. It’s just that,” Rhysand took a deep breath and his face was more vulnerable than Elain had ever seen . “I remember what it was like when Feyre was still with Tamlin. I remember how it felt when she would…” He trailed off and suddenly everyone in the room was blushing except Azriel. Elain didn’t exactly want to hear the details of Feyre and Tamlin’s relationship, in fact she always felt a deep surge of guilt when she thought about how Feyre was suffering and she didn’t do anything to stop it. Rhysand let out a deep sigh, one that spoke of his tiredness and for once he actually looked his centuries old age. “I just hope Lucien doesn’t call him out,” His chin nudged towards Azriel. “For the blood duel.”
The conversation ended as Cassian and Nesta charged down the stairs. Cassian with his wolfish smile and Nesta with her catty grin entered the room and they all waited for breakfast to be served.
It just felt so good
“It just felt so good,” Elain said, setting her cup of tea down with extra precision. She was liable to slosh the liquid right over the rim of the cup with all of her excitement — she felt as if every nerve in her body had been electrified and then dunked in water and wrung out. “Not just good, but right.”
Nuala and Cerridewen sat on the opposite side of the wooden table in the dimly lit kitchen. They wore twin expressions on their faces: sly grins that always made Elain wonder what they knew, dark eyes that seemed to absorb light, and dark, expressive brows. The twins showed more of their true forms to Elain than anyone else, besides Azriel and Rhysand. Even for their High Lady, whom the twins respected and liked, some of their features remained shrouded in shadows. It was second nature to them as spies to remain at least partly shadowed, ever since they had befriended Elain Azriel was sending them on missions less and less, but they never knew when those missions were going to occur. It was easier for them to remain partly in the shadows, but they dropped them completely around Elain.
“That’s not surprising,” Cerridwen said and took a sip of her tea. The whole room had taken on the aroma of mint from their tea, but it hadn’t done a thing to calm Elain. “We have seen the two of you together — your bodies are always perfectly insync.” She smiled kindly at Elain, but the spark in her dark eyes told Elain that she had observed more than that.
“Are they really?” Elain asked eagerly and pressed her palms flat against the table.
“Definitely, it looks as if you two had been around each other for hundreds of years. You two can work together in silence and never miss a beat, remember for Cassian’s birthday last year? When the master helped with the cookies?” Nuala said, the golden stud in her nose glimmered from the flicker of the fae light in the room. It was the easiest way to tell them apart, Nuala had a golden stud in her nose and Cerridwen favored multiple golden earrings in her ears — Elain always marveled that they never tangled and pulled at her curls. That was the other way to tell the twins apart: Cerridwen's hair was curlier and Nuala preferred doing her hair intricate braids. “It helps that he can’t keep his eyes off of you.”
“Truly?” Elain said, her fingers digging deeper into the wood. “He can’t keep his eyes off of me?”
“As if you don’t know,” Cerridwen said with a laugh and waved Elain off with a flick of her wrist. “I remember how you had to get your hair off of your neck because you were so overheated,” The wraith sighed dramatically and gathered her curls on top of her head, in a surely exaggerated pantomime of Elain, and then fanned herself off with her hand. “I’m sure the fact that you were in a dress with a scandalously low-cut bodice never crossed your mind, especially considering how heavily you were breathing.” Cerridwen dropped her hair, the curls falling heavily around her face, and Elain felt her face burn at Nuala’s laughter.
“Remember when the frosting accidentally fell onto her bosom?” Nuala said, laughing at the memory, her voice made it clear that she didn’t think it was an accident at all.
Elain did remember that part of the night. A dollop of vanilla frosting had fallen right into her cleavage, and she didn’t want it to get onto the fabric of her party dress, so she used her finger to scoop up the cream before popping it into her mouth. She just so happened to look at Azriel to notice intense gaze upon her mouth and the finger that was cushioned between her lips. Had he been watching her the entire time they had frosted the cookies?
“It was nice,” Elain said, and tucked a strand of hair behind her pointed ear. “To be with him like that.” Her voice was low, as if her words were too delicate to be said aloud— like the hope that accompanied those words would be immediately trounced upon by someone trying to keep her and Azriel apart. A small sigh escaped her as she thought of her family that would soon be running through the door. “I miss him already.”
“Who said the night had to be over?” Cerridwen said with a wicked grin.
“What do you mean?” Elain asked, a small fire of hope burned brightly in her chest.
“Well,” Nuala said with an identical smile to her sisters. “We know where he lives when he doesn’t want anyone to find him, and we can take you to him. Shadow-walk you, like we did during the war.”
Elain chewed on her bottom lip, a rush of excitement and some nervous jittey feeling churned within her.
“He won’t mind?” She asked with a hesitant smile, and the broad grins of her friends put her at ease.
“Of course not.” Cerridwen said and abruptly stood up in a fluid showcase of grace, and her sister followed suit. Elain joined them, not nearly as graceful as the shadow wraiths, and clasped their outstretched hands. Her wide eyes watched as the edges of her friends frames feathered until their forms became complete shadows, and then those shadows enveloped her — for a brief instant Elain was suspended in time and shadow, a coolness settled around her, and then the darkness cleared and gave way to a bland apartment door.
“Here?” Elain asked the swirling shadows of her friends and looked around the unassuming hallway. She didn’t know what to expect, but it made sense that the shadowsinger would choose a basic, clean apartment to live in and not one with the extravagant taste that their High Lord perferred.
The shadows didn’t respond, but Elain watched as one hand manifested and formed into a fist to knock loudly on the door. Elain blinked and her friends had completely disappeared.
She heard a metallic clang, and then nothing.
Elain stared at the door, her hands curled into her dress, and watched as it slowly opened to reveal a shirtless Azriel holding Truth-teller.
“Do your attackers usually knock first?” Elain asked, eyeing the dagger.
“How did you get here?” Azriel asked. His voice was flat, but Elain managed to catch a brief flash of surprise in his hazel eyes. His one arm was reached out to hold the door knob, blocking her view of his apartment.
“Our mutual friends.” Elain grinned and Azriel relaxed his shoulders briefly, but then tensed again.
“You’re here? Alone?” Azriel asked, his hazel eyes wide and almost frightful, no that couldn’t be right. It wasn’t possible, Elain thought, that the fearsome shadowsinger was frightened at the thought of having Elain alone at his apartment in the middle of the night.
“Yes,” Elain said smiling and leaned forward to peer inside his apartment. From what she saw it looked incredibly bare, as if it was never used, but she wanted to see more than the brief glimpses she got from straining her neck. She looked up at him. “May I come in, please?”
She watched as his jaw tightened, his hand still clenched around the door knob, but he took a grudging step to the side. She heard him say, “I wasn’t expecting company.” as she stepped over the threshold and around him to see where he lived when he wanted to be alone.
Elain couldn’t determine if his residence was unnaturally clean, or just empty. There was nothing hanging from the walls, no decorations to brighten the space up, in fact, there wasn’t anything homey about this space at all. Yes, space, that’s what it was. It was a space with practical furniture and appliances with enough room to feel comfortable, there wasn’t an object that she could see that held any sentimental value.
There were shoes by the door, Elain noted and hid her smile that formed at his expense, as if he didn’t want the rest of his apartment to get dirty. She snuck a peek at Azriel’s feet and saw that they were bare, long toes nestled into the cushioned carpet, and she immediately moved to step out of her slippers.
“You don’t have to.” Azriel started, but Elain cut him off with a bright grin. She wanted to make him feel comfortable with her presence here, so she would follow his rules.
“I want to get comfortable.” Elain replied and watched as his expression turned heated, he slowly closed the door, and Elain thought it was to give her the opportunity to leave. “I rather like being barefoot. As a child I would run barefoot all the time, I loved the feel of the earth beneath me, and my mother would always wrestle with me to put my slippers on. She would throw a fit whenever she noticed that I would sneakily take them off whenever her back was turned.”
Azriel could picture it: A small Elain stuffed into a gown of her mothers choosing, a determined look in her eyes and a too sweet smile on her face, biding her time and waiting for the opportunity to do what she wanted.
“I was just having dinner,” Azriel said, putting Truth-teller back into it its home and rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “Would you like some?”
“I would love some.”
The smile that bloomed on Azriel’s was worth any headache her family might become. To see him smile a smile that was free and comfortable and easy was worth an endless amount of toil.
So, light me up
“How was it?” Nesta whispered over her cup of tea, and Elain bit back a smile.
“It was the most fun I ever had, and I’d do it over and over again.” Elain replied and the two sisters erupted in giggles, causing everyone else to look in their direction. For a brief moment it was just like old times, and Elain felt the bittersweet sing of nostalgia.
They were quiet for a moment and everyone went back to their breakfast. Nesta took the opportunity to whisper, “I thought about it. Before I realized I was mated to Cassian,” The slimy feeling of jealousy curled in Elain's stomach, turning all of its contents sour and leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. For the first time in her life Elain wanted to act on her uncharitable thoughts about her sister, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. “I had this fantasy,” Nesta continued, blissfully unaware of her sister's silent seething. “Where I was with them both.” She sighed and a dreamy haze flitted across her face.
“I’m sure it would have been pleasurable.” Elain managed to bite out in a tone that was only slightly cordial, but decidedly clipped. She turned from her sister, who was still lost in her fantasy, and looked down the table to where Azriel sat.
There was one addendum that she would insist be added to their bargain, Elain thought. Fidelity. The thought of Azriel being with another female had her careening into a jealous fit, and it was just the thought of it. She could only imagine how she would feel if she had to see him with another female. Now that she finally had some small amount of Azriel in her life — to think that he may not be satisfied with her, or to think that he might share what they had last night with another female — it hurt her deep within her soul.
Elain was never prone to violent outbursts, but they suddenly held an irresistible appeal. Not just their physical connection, but the emotional one as well. To think of Azriel having that kind of easiness and warmth… and… home. It felt like home. To think of him having that feeling with someone else was unbearable.
He caught her eyes and sent her a smile that melted her bones. It was gone before anyone else had noticed it, and fixed his attention onto the food on his plate.
You say I did something bad, why’s it feel so good?
“You did something bad, Elain,” Nesta said with a cat-like grin. “I can't believe my sister would do something so naughty.”
“It wasn’t terribly naughty.” Elain said somewhat sheepishly, her gaze fixated on her breakfast as she shuffled the eggs around on her plate.
Nesta let out a very unlady like, “Ha!” and took a sip of her water.
“After all, if it was so bad, then why did it feel so good?” Elain whispered seriously. Everyone had been telling her that she did something bad, but how could that be when it felt so gloriously right?
Water came out of Nesta’s nose as she heard her sister's words, but misunderstood the meaning.
“I shall have to tell Gwyn,” Nesta said conspiratorially, and Elain felt her heart plummet into her stomach. “She has the biggest crush on Azriel, and who can blame her?”
What did you guys think?? I had so much fun writing this chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts! I had a lot of fun with the format of this chapter and writing the flashbacks. Please like, comment, and reblog. I am starting a tag list, so please let know if you would like to be tagged.
Tagging: @swankii-art-teacher @justheretoreadsposts
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Bat boys & the Archeron sisters
Azriel Shadowsinger & Elain the Seer
High Lord Rhysand & High Lady Feyre
General Commander Cassian & Nesta, Death Goddess
art credits to the artists!
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Day 88 of Spreading Elain/Elriel Positivity
I want to try and spread as much positivity to the Elain stans and Elriel shippers as I possibly can
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The idea that the true nature of things can only be seen and understood if one perceives it with feeling is just complete Elriel vibes
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Flufftober Day 22: Watching The Sunset
Drifting silently through the hallway, following the distant call of her name as shadows skittered in her path back and forth towards her bedchambers anxiously, Elain bid the heed almost absent mindedly. Her lips glued together after a long period of disuse; when the corners crusted together and it felt like the skin on her lips was attached, it was a clear enough sign for her to take a break from whatever she was doing and refresh herself with water.
But the state of her lips wasn’t the only alarm indicating she stop what she was doing; aside from the general feeling of wrongness as she tackled the chamber Azriel promised to transform into her office, his calls had drawn her out. She wondered if the shadows had betrayed her but she trusted her own powers, which were enamoured with the shadows as much as they were with them, to have distracted them sufficiently. When pit against one another, Elain’s tattering Assembly of Opinionated Souls had yet to lose a match against the shadows which were a different breed of Dogmatic Otherworldly Creatures.
“If I discover you’ve ruined the flower arrangement, Azriel, I’ll sleep in the guestrooms for a week,” she called back as she breezed into their chambers. “Where are you?”
“Here,” his voice came from the open square-paneled doors leading to a large spacious balcony. Their chamber was a mess; the bed wasn’t made, her vanity was opened and the contents ruffled through, and the doors leading to the bathing chambers were flung wide open. So either he’d broken something of a noticeable smell and wanted to air out the space before she could discover it, or another explanation existed that she had no clue about.
“Where-?” Elain abruptly paused at the stone railing which she gripped as she leaned forwards. Their rooms offered the perfect scenery of the vast lands spread out around the estate of Rosehall, sprawling green lands and vineyards, orchards and farms that she sometimes joined the workers in harvesting and working. Not a single other building was around; the town was a twenty minute walk along a paved path that lead from the house, but it wasn’t visualized from their balcony.
Her husband grinned up at her. “Hello.”
Elain leaned on her elbows as she peered down at the Illyrian hanging from the platform beneath the balcony, a curious piece of the house’s architecture that she didn’t wholly understand. Not that she’d ever gone poking around the underside of the house.
“Are front doors too ordinary?” she leaned her cheek against a palm while the hanging Illyrian smiled up at her.
“Quite a little. Would you help me up?”
She blinked and leaned further, a sharp hiss of warning from him soft with her action. “What are you doing there?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“Spit it out, I’ll only be a little mad.”
“Not unless you promise me amnesty.”
She held back her smile. “What did you do? What is the meaning of the state of the rooms?”
Azriel grunted. “Your ribbon flew out through the balcony and here I am retrieving it.”
Her brows linked together. “Which ribbon?”
A wince marred his face. “Your engagement one.”
A gasp rattled her chest as she stood up straight, eyes wide and panicked. “How did it- why did you have it out in the first place?”
“Amnesty, Elain my love. Amnesty.”
“Did you fetch it? Oh no- don’t tell me it’s ruined, Azriel my nerves are strangely messed as they are, I will cry.”
“Please don’t,” he winced. “Help me up?”
“You’re not stuck, are you? Use your wings.”
“Brilliant suggestions from a brilliant mind,” Azriel assured her as the chilly autumn wind breezed against them both. He hung from his arm, his wings lax against his back. Their rooms were on the third floor of the estate. “I have contemplated them from the start. But the drop isn’t high enough for me to be able to fly before crashing, so I’m afraid it’s either I let go and fall, get a few broken bones and a concussion, or you pull me up.”
Elain raised a sharp eyebrow. “You mean to tell me you haven’t any other option?”
“I wouldn’t be hanging here for half an hour if I did.”
She blinked. “Did you secure my ribbon?”
“No, I’m afraid.”
“Azriel get me my ribbon.”
“Pull me up and I will.”
“Why was it out in the first place?”
“Pull me up and I will tell you.”
Identical smiles drifted across their faces.
“My arms are going numb,” he tried to get her to yield, but unfortunately for him, like her AOS, Elain rarely lost a match of wills against him.
“Unfortunately. I was going to require them to help me move boxes.”
His tense body locked up as he pulled himself up a smidgen, his jaw clenching and his eyes darkening. “I told you not to-“
“The way I see it,” she curled a loose wave of hair around her index as she contemplated the horizon of oranges and golds, interspersed with dying red. “I can just leave you here and do whatever I want. You can’t stop me.”
She grinned at the sky. “I think I’ll go bake something and eat it.”
“Elain don’t be cruel. It doesn’t suit you.”
“I think retribution suits me extremely well, don’t you?” Elain leaned her chest against the railing, brown eyes locked with his glittering hazel ones. Beads of sweat had popped up along his temple, and the arm holding his weight was tense and trembling. “Dark and beautiful as the dawn, terrible as night.”
“Yes, and you will watch the crimson blood leak from the necks of all who’d wronged you,” he rolled his eyes. “But it’ll be my blood splattered on the lawn beneath, darling.”
“The way I see it, a few more minutes and I’ll get to see those who wronged me face what they earn.”
He shook his head. “Please,” he pleaded. “I have something to tell you.”
“You’ve been content with chattering like a bird all this while, so tell me. You still have use of your voice.”
“Why was my ribbon out?”
“In case it slipped your notice- I am the male that blasted ribbon means anything about. I’m the one who was engaged to you with it.”
Her voice softened dangerously. “And I warned you multiple times about ruining it.”
True, that. An Illyrian tradition she’d held onto vigorously even if he’d made the gesture half-heartedly. Azriel had asked for her hand with a typical ring, but then later on presented her with an embroidered velvet ribbon for her hair, etched with hand-stiches and various beautiful threads that formed all sorts of patterns and symbols. His mother sat her down and explained it all, and that a female promised to male would have to wear the ribbon in her hair until he’d take it out of her hair the night of their betrothal. Elain took it seriously, and looked after it as if it where a sentient being that required the utmost careful attention.
“I didn’t ruin the bleeding thing-“
“Azriel why was it out of the drawer?”
He sighed and looked down, as if seriously considering the fall as he weighed the benefits against the costs. “I wanted to smell you.”
“A cause worse than the crime. Rot here in the cold wind until your wings fall off.”
When she made to leave, he stopped her with laughter and several “Wait!”s. She reappeared over the banister expectantly and raised her brows.
He looked to the skies for help before slowly speaking. “I… wanted to remember what your scent used to be like before.”
Curiosity lit a fire in her as she leaned forward and reached out to grasp his free hand. “Why? And before what?”
He held on tightly as she pulled him up, his legs curling in the air as she tugged to find purchase in the balcony floor. “Before my own has stuck with yours. You know after being around each other for so long, we rub off each other.”
“Ok,” she grasped his arm with two hands. “Why?”
“Mother and I have suspected a change recently in you. I can’t put my finger on it, but she claims it has to do with your scent.”
“I changed my soap,” she noted as he finally appeared over the railing and she let go. Azriel pulled himself up then with ease, and climbed over the railing. He paused, hands grasping it tightly as he contemplated her revelation.
“Might be it,” he muttered. “But I don’t think so. So I looked for something of yours that wasn’t changed by our living together and then I remembered the bloody thing you wore in your hair all the time. It’s practically stained with your scent.”
Elain crossed her arms over her chest. “So you thought it’d be a good idea to take it out, sniff it and then lose it to the wind?”
“Well, I hadn’t planned on losing it,” he sat on the banister, facing her, his back to the blinding setting sun as dusk coated the sky. “But then I found out you were, in fact, pregnant, and it just slipped from my fingers.”
She sighed, her hand rising to her forehead. “Oh Az. I don’t want to lose the ribbon.”
He stared at her, blinked several times. “You knew?”
She blinked in turn. “Knew what?”
“Elain did you not listen to a word I just said?”
“I did, perfectly. You lost my ribbon because apparently I’m carrying.”
“Forget the fucking ribbon-“
“Fine,” she huffed, and turned away to the east. She then brightened up. “Does this mean I can make you do my bidding unconditionally? Come set up my office for me.”
“Woman are you in shock or denial?”
“I want the desk to be against the wall, not facing the windows,” she held out her hands before her as she envisioned her plans. “They’ll be to my right, and I’ll have the bookcase-“
“Elain,” Azriel leapt towards her, hands reaching for her shoulders. “Look at me.”
She did. “I’m pregnant, I get it.”
But even as she said it, a chill ran down her arms. She shook it off.
His scarred hand rested over her flat abdomen. “We’re going to have a child.”
Squinting against the dying sun, the wind blowing her hair in her eyes, she peered back at him. His face, serene and with the touch of a smile, held nothing but expectations and boyish nervousness. The wind blew against the side of his face, hair parting at his temple and waving like sails on ships on his head as his hand rested against her belly.
And then it crept up on her, and the fingers at her sides went cold and clammy as her insides trembled and she shook a little.
“Are you with me?” he asked as her silence stretched for long. His smile was wide, so completely and utterly wide that it was almost from ear to ear. “Elain, we’re going to have a child. A little child. Our baby.”
She pressed her lips together and nodded as she blinked several times.
“Come here,” he murmured softly when he perceived the fear she felt and when he pressed her against his warm frame, his heart beating loudly in his chest against her ear. Her throat was parched, her mouth dry and her eyes stung. “It’s ok. Baby, it’s ok.”
How should she react? What did she feel?
So many things that she didn’t have an answer to gauge. Everything. A deadly concoction that was making her shake, stimulating her brain and body and she bit her lip tightly. Azriel pressed her flush against him, tightly, squeezed sure stability into her uncertainty.
Her belly, flat and unassuming, pressed against his, Elain could only think of what was happening there. There was a potential in there, their baby. Azriel’s. Her’s. A version of her and him, ready to meet the world, ready for their love and attention. A walking testimony to their life together.
Tears blurred her eyes. “Az-“
A watery laugh escaped her. “Az.”
Then they were both laughing, nervously and shakily, but they laughed with the wind in the sunset and held on tightly. Elain then squealed as he picked her up and spun them around, round and round as she grinned wide as an idiot and he was insane with the euphoria.
Happiness, did not wait, was not early nor late. It arrives precisely when it meant to, and perhaps it wasn’t a coincidence that it had shown its hand right when the pair had given up on being blessed with any children. The fae took their time conceiving, but Elain suspected long ago her fertility was an absent thing, and was about to give up hope and convince Azriel they could just construct their family from adoption. It was hard, to wait and expect and then fail and then do it all again.
“We’re going to be parents.”
“The poor soul,” Elain lamented with a beam. “Whatever are they going to do?”
Azriel beamed, his eyes brighter than the blinding setting sun and brighter than her smile, brighter than the joy and relief setting up shop in her home. “I love you.”
She beamed back. “I do too. I’m nervous, I think. Very much. What about you?”
He nodded quickly. “Too much.”
“But we can do this, right?” she asked the pointless question. “We can set the score right, and treat our children the way they deserve.”
“We’ve prepared an itinerary, we’ll be all right. We have a plan.”
“I know where it is-“
A small laugh escaped her as she threaded her fingers through her hair and turned away from him. The setting sun was sinking behind a hill now, bidding her last goodbyes as she took her rays of light. Elain knitted her fingers together, her mind running as she began listing all the things she needed to do before the arrival of their joy.
Feeling suddenly sick, she dropped her hands and wound her arms around her middle tightly. “Az- what if we don’t do it right?”
He appeared at her side suddenly, pulling her to him by means of a muscled arm around her waist. “There’s no one else on earth I’d rather give this a shot with, Elain. We make a good team.”
She grit her teeth with a stubborn streak of determination. “We do. We may not be the best, but we give it an honest shot all the time, don’t we? We may not have perfect results, but at least we put in all our efforts.”
His lips pressed to her temples. “We can do this.”
She nodded. He nodded as well. The sun took its leave. The autumn night began to reign.
A thousand times good night. The world was good. Hope hadn’t forsaken them.
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