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#embarrassing*
fuck-customers · 3 days
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Still thinking about the woman who threatened to piss on our floor if we didn't make the person in our bathroom already leave immediately. She then proceeded to stay in the bathroom 20 mins.
(And before someone says medical condition, she apparently comes in and does this all the time, escalating and threatening staff until she can get into the bathroom, despite the fact that we cannot control the bathroom usage, jfc, it was just the first time I experienced it. Not an issue we have with folks with medical conditions--and we get them into the staff bathroom if they even just say they have one. There is a law in our state and we don't mess around with stuff like that. Anyways, I almost want to tell her to go ahead and walk the walk next time so we can just ban her.)
(We also are flanked by two businesses that have multi-stall public bathrooms, which I tell everyone about in a situation like that, which is why she told me she would piss on the floor. Dude. One public bathroom. Small business. Them's honest to god the breaks and that is it.) 
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So I was travelling back to hostel and was sitting beside this girl. 3 hours into the journey I had my earphones on and she turned towards me with a maaza in her hands.
I thought she was offering me her drink or a sip out of courtesy. So I nodded my head no telling her I don't want to drink it.
But she she kept pushing it towards me and said something. So I removed my earphones and she said "please ise khol dena "
She wasn't offering me her drink y'all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
She was asking me to OPEN IT💀👍
I was red with embarrassment somehow opened it for her
I still want to dig and hole and crawl into it.
Baithe bithae bezzati ho gayi bhai!
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captain-casual · 3 days
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ffs matt
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sabrebash · 5 months
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Celebrity Lookalike
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minyicho · 1 year
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truth is stranger than fiction
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insignificantfailure · 6 months
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Are you normal or does the slightest criticism make you feel like throwing up, makes you sweat uncontrollably and your face feel like it's burning?
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drulalovescas · 9 months
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No one
Literally nobody
Not a single living soul
Dean Winchester looking at Castiel:
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introvertedx10 · 2 years
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This is something I'd do
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Atreus when he sneaks into Asgard and is immediately bullied by Grown Adult Heimdall
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fuck-customers · 14 hours
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Apparently management is going through some kind of purge? Three times now, I've reached out to different managers, only to be told, " I'm not your manager anymore, no I don't know who the replacement is or who you can talk to. Good luck!:)))))" do I not have any? These people haven't ordered supplies in 4 months and I'm out, but ig there's no one left to tell:)))))
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tidiestpegasus · 7 months
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for a good long while (either because i was a very sheltered child or just early asexual ignorance™) i thought that "bedroom eyes" just meant that they were really sleepy and tired so i thought the universal symbol for smexy time meant they looked like this
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unoislazy · 6 months
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Trapped With You
Hiccup Haddock x Reader
Warnings: if you’re prone to second hand embarrassment this one’s gonna be a doozy
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You and your friends were very well known for freeing dragons from traps and greedy humans who saw them as nothing more than pests. But just because you were well known doesn’t mean you were good at it. In fact, maybe one of your hundreds of raids had gone perfectly to plan, many of them were successful, but never stuck to the plan.
`
This time was no different.
In fact, this time might have been your worst attempt yet.
Hiccup had gathered you and your collective friends to go searching for dragon traps to try and disarm them. You didn’t think that would be too hard because they often shined through the grass no matter how hidden they were.
It wasn’t often that dragon traps would be placed on Berk, but you had heard a few complaints from some of the residents and figured it would be best to check it out.
“Okay, you head down first, see how many traps we need to hit. I’ll send down Ruff and Tuff to keep watch if needed. If anything goes wrong, you know how to call me.” Hiccup instructed, his mask muffled his words a bit but he was still very easy to understand. His thought process however, lost you. Why he thought Ruff and Tuff could stay out of each other's way long enough to actually be a useful lookout was beyond you.
You thought it best not to question it but in hindsight… maybe you should have.
You went on with the plan, flying down to the very dense woodland area. There had been a few issues with net trappings along the coast, and someone had to deal with it. The twins followed you, landing their Hideous Zippleback a few meters behind you, staying as quiet as they could.
You were actually impressed that you couldn’t hear them arguing with each other… yet.
Nonetheless, you continued on, hopping off your dragon and began to do your usual sweep. You weren’t entirely sure what kind of traps you were supposed to be dealing with here, but that’s why the twins were there, to keep you safe in case anything went south.
You carefully scanned the area, looking out for anything shiny or out of the ordinary that might give away the presence of a trap. You looked for a fair few minutes but you couldn’t seem to find anything.
“Hey guys, I think we might have gone to the wrong spot. Should I call for hiccup?” You asked before turning around to realize the twins were gone. In a panic you began turning every which way, listening for any sign of them but there was nothing.
“Real funny guys…” You said sarcastically, realizing that they probably just thought it would be funny to leave you on your own. Your dragon walked up behind you, purring a bit as happy dragons often did.
“What happened to them girl?” You asked her as if she could respond to you. You figured this would be as good a time as any to call for Hiccup. You put two fingers in your mouth and gave a loud whistle, signaling for Hiccup to come find you.
It was only a matter of seconds before the large Night Fury landed smoothly very close by. Hiccup hopped off, his trusted fire sword tight within his grip, and his mask down to protect himself.
“What’s wrong, did something happen?” He asked frantically, despite clearly seeing you standing there calmly.
”Well, other than the twins leaving me behind, nothings wrong. Including the fact that there aren’t any traps here.” You answered honestly, shrugging your shoulders as you stepped towards one of the trees you had already checked. Hiccup looked around skeptically, but he too couldn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, so he walked up beside you.
“That’s weird, we’ve gotten a multitude of complaints about this specific area…” He muttered quietly, tapping his finger to his chin, deep in thought. You simply stood there, waiting for him to think of something like usual. As you waited, your attention had been drawn towards Toothless, he was sniffing the tree the two of you had been standing by.
At first you didn’t think much of it, dragons were a lot like dogs in a way, they loved to sniff every single thing within their reach.
However, once you took a closer look you realized he had begun to gnaw at something on the tree. A rope.
Your eyes followed the rope as it went around the tree, and down… around you and Hiccup. Once you had realized what was happening, you looked to Toothless who had already chewed through most of the rope.
“Wait, Toothless don’t!” Before you could get him to stop, or even move out of the way, Toothless had chewed through the rope, thus setting loose the trap and lifting both Hiccup and yourself up into the air and into a very cramped sack.
The sack was extremely small, definitely not the size needed to capture or even remotely harm a dragon. And that’s when it hit you…
“This is a boar trap. No wonder we couldn’t find anything…” You muttered, trying to adjust yourself in a more comfortable position to no avail. You continued to shift before Hiccup had finally said something,
“Hold on, stop moving, just let me-“ He said, trying to move his prosthetic leg which was very uncomfortably digging into your side. You were a lot closer than you had wished you were. You did like the guy, but this was NOT how you wanted to be reminded of that fact.
After a little more awkward moving around and uncomfortable elbow jabs you two eventually gave up, managing to now face each other but in a very uncomfortably close vicinity.
“Well this is just… wonderful.” He sighed, as he looked past the very wide netting of the sack you two sat in, looking down to Toothless who looked confused as he sniffed the trap.
“You just don’t know when to stop, do you bud?” Hiccup asked down to Toothless who looked at him with a very deadpanned look. The dragon then turned away from you two, almost pouting like a child seeming to say ‘this isn’t my fault.’
Hiccup rolled his eyes, turning back to you, sighing yet again.
“So… what now?” You asked, trying not to move in fear of making you both uncomfortable. Hiccups eyes wandered, following the intricately woven pieces of rope that held the netting together, he followed the rope up to the branch that you both were being held by, and then back down to the ground.
“Hiccup?” You asked, trying to even begin to follow his train of thought.
“Okay listen, I’m gonna try and reach down and grab my sword, to do that I’m gonna have to move so it’s gonna be a little uncomfortable.” He said awkwardly, before looking back up to you, “okay?” He asked.
You nodded, considering it truly might be the only way you’d get out of this mess now that Toothless was being entirely distracted by your dragon.
“Okay, I’m just gonna, move my legs…” He started, doing exactly as he said, shifting his weight more to the side as his legs surrounded your body. The sudden movement caused the bag to sway the slightest bit, making the rope creak every so slightly. It would’ve been a soothing sort of noise if not for your current situation.
His body moved again, sort of putting himself on your lap as he began to lean over. You couldn’t help but feel even the slightest bit embarrassed by the current predicament. You tried not to pay it any mind but the guy you’ve had a crush on for god knows how long was currently sitting on your lap, of course you were going to get a little flustered.
Hiccup however was clearly far more concerned with the act of retrieving the sword, something you wish you could focus on as well. He leaned over, sticking his arm through one of the holes in the netting and began to stretch his arm, reaching for the weapon. You sat there uncomfortably still, not knowing if you should, or if you even wanted to move.
It took him a few tries to realize that this wasn’t working, meaning a better position would need to be devised. He sighed again, thinking through if he truly wanted to risk trying this, but it was either get embarrassingly close with the chance of freedom or stay in this uncomfortable position until Toothless finally decided to let you both free.
“I have another idea, but it's not going to be entirely comfortable.”
“Can't be any more uncomfortable than this is.” You responded, to which Hiccup averted his gaze for a moment as he began to awkwardly gesture.
“Well… actually it can. But, this is just to get us out of this mess and then we never have to talk about this again.” He looked to you, waiting for some sign of approval to continue. You nodded, giving the go ahead and silently hoping it won't be as bad as he’s making it seem.
Hiccup ever so carefully moved his legs off of you, and instead moved to more of a laying down position. Right on top of you.
Holy gods above, please let them save you from this nightmare disguised as a dream. One would think this would be a great scenario to be in. You, the guy you like, trapped in very close proximity for a long period of time. It could be like seven minutes in heaven on a budget in the woods.
Except it's not like that at all. Yeah sure, you’re both extremely close to each other, uncomfortably so. But you didn’t ask to be put in this situation, in fact you wished you weren’t in this situation to begin with. Mainly because you were currently trying to forget about the fact you liked the scrawny guy that was now not even a foot away from you, and this situation was not helping in the slightest.
“Okay im just gonna… lean over you…” Hiccup said, straining as he leaned over on top of you, reaching his hand through another hole in the netting that was now more towards the bottom of the sack.
You very quickly stopped paying any attention to what he was doing and focused more on trying to get yourself too chill out. You could see Hiccup was saying words but you hadn’t a clue whether they were directed at you or not, you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your rapid heartbeat that filled your ears.
He was trying to prop himself over you as he reached down past you to the ground. His face was very close to yours, so much so that you could even make out some of the details in his eyes. You hadn’t really taken into account just how green his eyes truly were, most of the time you barely made eye contact with him. His hair had grown a fair amount and there were still a few braids that rested unbothered towards the back of it. Hiccup himself had grown a fair amount, much more than you had realized. When you looked at him before you always saw the little weirdo that you remembered from dragon training. The Hiccup you were staring at now, wasn’t that Hiccup. Well realistically he was, and his personality was the same but… he was different now.
Luckily he wasn’t looking at you so you thought he hadn’t noticed you staring at him. He leaned more towards your side, resting his face next to you as he strained to reach the weapon. You simply stared at the sky through the netting because now you could feel his breath on your neck… and again… not what you needed right now. Hiccup paused for a moment before propping himself back up over you, concern was riddled throughout his features.
“Are you okay?” He asked, his entire focus was on you all at once.
“Me? Never better, why?” You tried to play off your nervousness which Hiccup very clearly took note of.
“Your heart is racing. I’ll get us out of here in no time. You don't have to be nervous.” He said in a comforting tone. In all honesty you weren’t used to him speaking in such a way, especially not directed at you. It felt as if you couldn’t speak at that moment, all you could do was nod as you stared at his striking green eyes.
Why now? Why did the feelings have to rush back to you now?
You were doing fine, ignoring all feelings for him and just living your dragon filled life, but now? Not only was he only a few inches away but also, he was taking over a lot of your mind. You could barely even think as he returned to the position he was at before. Somehow it seemed as all of his usual awkwardness had gone out the window, which you guessed was because he was so focused on getting you both out of there.
After a few more minutes of you both struggling in very different ways you finally heard Hiccup joyfully shout,
“I got it!”
As he held his sword. He laughed excitedly, pulling it back up to you both, not without struggling to get it through the netting a bit first.
Through Hiccup’s celebration, you could very faintly hear a noise coming from some of the trees behind you. A very low rumbling noise.
“Uh… Hiccup?” You said, trying to get his attention but he was still very occupied with trying to figure out a way to cut the netting without harming you both. You listened again, now turning to where the noise had come from. Hiccup was no longer laying on you and had very awkwardly moved himself to sit back up again as he continued to plan out your escape.
You looked through the wooded areas, squinting your eyes and trying to adjust them to the low light, attempting to see something. That’s when you saw it, a very, VERY pissed off looking Thunderdrum.
“Hiccup.” You called, your eyes not leaving the dragon. You were afraid that if you weren’t looking it would do something drastic. Hiccup still was deep in thought, entirely unaware of the situation that was about to unfold.
“Hiccup.” You said a little louder, starting to shake him.
“Hold on, I’m just-“ He began, but his voice trailed off as his eyes continued to follow the contraption. You however, watched in fear as the Thunderdrum began to approach and its unhappy demeanor had not changed in the slightest. You would never expect a dragon to attack without reason but it was probably very hungry and you both were basically sitting ducks in a trap that the dragon was probably accustomed to having boars in it. Then without warning, the dragon began to charge in your direction, heading straight for the sack you both sat in.
“Hiccup!” You shrieked, finally getting his attention. Once he looked up, he also screamed and very quickly, and very recklessly you might add, used the fire sword to quickly cut you both down and get you out of the way of the Thunderdrums initial attack.
You both fell straight down to the ground, you landing right on your ass as you didn’t have a lot of time to truly brace yourself for the fall.
“Toothless, a little help here?” Hiccup called out to the Night Fury who was already on his way over. Your dragon followed behind, scooping you onto her back and quickly darting off. You both escaped the situation majorly unscathed, now flying back to the village in mostly silence before Hiccup cleared his throat,
“So… is that why you were so nervous?” He asked, clearly referring to the dragon.
“Um… yeah.” You answered, clearly lying. This was not really a conversation you’d want to have on the back of your dragon.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I can only do my dragon thing with proper notice.” He joked trying to lighten the awkward tension.
“Well… because-” You tried to think of a reason on the spot before Hiccup cut you off.
“Unless that wasn’t the reason? I don’t want you to lie about this.” He said in a lighthearted manner. You knew Hiccup wouldn’t judge you for anything you wanted to share with him, but this? This was a bit too far in your eyes, you couldn’t risk your friendship with not only him but with Astrid too. You were almost a thousand percent sure that they had feelings for each other and you didn’t want to get in the way of that. But then again, maybe you should just be honest with him, it would definitely lift a large weight off your shoulders.
“Can we just… wait till we get back to the village before we talk about this?” You asked and he respectfully obliged, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.
“Last one back has to clean up after the other one's dragon!” He shouted before flying off quickly with Toothless. You smiled, appreciating his efforts to change the topic as you followed behind him laughing.
“No fair, you got a head start!”
Once back to the village, Hiccup invited you into his has to continue your previous conversation. Thankfully Stoick was not home at the moment so you two could have some time to discuss this privately.
“So, what’s the real reason?” Hiccup asked, leaning forward in his chair. Clearly he was very interested in what you had to say.
“Well,” You started quietly, not wanting to even look in his general direction, “It was just a very… awkward situation and you know… we were very close and…” You continued on but you muffled your words, not wanting to actually say them outloud. Hiccup continued to stare at you, gesturing for you to continue. It seemed like he knew what you were trying to say but he just wanted to hear you say it.
“This is stupid, I shouldn’t even-” You began to get up from the chair that hiccup had offered you only for him to get up as well and make his way over to you.
“Wait, wait, just hold on.” He said, trying to stop you from leaving.
“Hiccup, seriously it's not that important, I'm just going to leave and we don’t have to bring this up ever again just like you said.” You began to ramble, reaching for the handle on the wooden door before Hiccup blurted out,
“I love you.”
You froze. Your hand came off of the door handle as you simply stared, not knowing what to do.
“What?” Was all you could ask before you turned around to look at Hiccup who was standing there, staring right back at you.
“I know I’m not supposed to say it that fast but… I mean it.” He admitted, his serious demeanor very quickly melted back to his usual awkward one as he quickly realized what he just said. “I just figured, maybe the reason you were nervous was because you felt the same, but now that I think about it I probably should not have assumed.” He continued to ramble, He was no longer paying full attention to you and he had not noticed that you had slowly made your way over to him. He sighed heavily before continuing,
“I shouldn’t have said that, it was wrong of me to assume and if you don’t feel the same then we can just both forget this ever happened and-”
“Can I kiss you?” You asked. This time it was his turn to pause, looking up to you quickly, his eyes open wide as he stared at you.
“What?”
“Can I kiss you?” You asked again, a smile very slowly crept onto his face, as he nodded moving closer to you. Without another thought or word between the two of you, he pulled you in close and closed the gap. He smiled, elated that his assumption was not wrong as he continued to kiss you. Neither of you truly wanted to pull away but alas the human body still needs air to live so you had to.
Who knew getting awkwardly stuck in a boar trap could end up being so eventful.
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politijohn · 5 months
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disgustinggf · 18 days
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dating a rly tall guy is fun until you realize he can see your grown out roots. Fuck you. get down here
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dippedupbunbunn · 27 days
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Good morning ☀️
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