#embarrassment doesn't exist at 4am

[jaegersdevil]

like real people [megumi fushiguro]

megumi fushiguro x reader

summary: love can still find you even in your darkest hour. w/c: 1.7k a/n: megumi and reader are in their early/mid-twenties. this is a little different from anything else i’ve written in terms of the language, but i think i'm happy with it. i'm a bit scared to post this. i hope it makes sense, and if it doesn't, tell me, please :) warnings: angst, idiots in love, both parties emotionally hurt by past relationships, insinuations of past relationship abuse (megumi), ooc megumi, it's 4am idk please let me know.

“Is it so wrong to wish to love and be loved in return?” 

No words came before you. To say you weren’t expecting this conversation would be a lie — it was a long time coming. After the party, after you had blatantly brushed him off in front of his friends, Megumi couldn’t come up with a plausible explanation for why you did what you did. After months of dancing around each other, why couldn’t you commit to what you wanted when it was so very clear, Megumi?

“Megumi,” You weren’t oblivious to his lovelorn stare or his fingers fidgeting.

“Please,” He begged, stepping closer to you, his hands clasped before him. 

You screwed your eyes shut at his vulnerable state. Was it easier to remain ignorant of your apparent and lengthy tension? Perhaps then you wouldn’t feel so guilty about the impulse to leave.

But, standing before a man who had a hard time sharing his emotions and choosing to ignore them rather than help? You wouldn't do such a thing.

“It’s not wrong, per se, Megs,” You started, eyes trained on the hardwood floor, never meeting his pleading ones. “Maybe naive.” 

A sharp intake caused a shiver down your spine. “Naive?” 

You chewed heavily on your bottom lip and couldn't keep your tears at bay. "I just learned you planned to get engaged when we met, Megumi. What was I meant to do? I didn't want your friends to think I was exploiting your emotions. How I never knew until now..."  

Megumi sighed and looked away, shaking his head. He wanted to say that meeting you saved him. How you dug him out of the ground and breathed life into his delicate lungs brought him back to life. If you had never met, he would still be six feet in the dirt, a ghost of who he once was. Do people love others who have been damaged so severely that the idea of love itself is considered terrifying and not comforting in the slightest? 

"You know they wouldn't think that of you. And I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed and afraid. I know that isn't a good enough excuse for you because you've been in my life for so long, but it was better to keep it quiet. I don't know!"

He tried to keep his voice steady, always one to hold back his true feelings until he was behind closed doors — and even then, he would force them back inside.

But, as he looked at you, Megumi believed the possibility of admitting he loved you was far closer than anticipated. However, the fear you wouldn’t reciprocate burned in his bones so profoundly he feared they would turn to ash inside him. All he wanted was to love and be loved without the devastating consequences he had suffered before — if love without pain existed. 

Nonetheless, Megumi couldn't seem to shake the feeling of emptiness that had been plaguing him for weeks.

“Will we ever be normal? Will we ever kiss like real people do? Will I ever get to hold you without the looming fear that you’ll just pack up and leave?” He thought out loud.

A flight risk. You gave him a bitter smile and nodded.

“That’s all I am to you? Someone that you’re scared to be with because I’ve never ‘stuck around’ for anyone else? Do you ever wonder why I left them?” You raised your eyebrows in question. When Megumi didn’t answer, you finished. “Because they were assholes who just wanted someone to use, and I was at their disposal.”

Megumi grimaced at your choice of words but understood. It had taken him almost a year, but he finally understood your greatest anxieties. “I would never use you.” 

You sniffled, tears rolling down your cheeks. “I know that, but I'm still paranoid. Leave before you get left, isn’t that what they say?” 

The room was silent for a moment while you both collected yourselves. In contemplation, Megumi ran his hands over his dark hair, and you picked at your nails. 

“I’m sorry,” Megumi mumbled, wiping at his cheeks where stray tears had left salty trails. “I’m sorry for offending you. I didn’t mean it like that. My anxiety is not on you at all; it’s not your fault, and I’ll apologise for the rest of my life if that will make up for my sheer ignorance.” 

You shrugged half-heartedly, a smile tugging at your lips. “I’m sorry for calling you naive. It’s not true. Love is humanity’s greatest desire, and you are entirely valid for wanting such things, especially after your ex..." You narrowed your eyes at him softly.

Unspoken words hung in the air like smoke. His past relationship was calamitous, and her name was never spoken amongst his friends again after they found out what had happened. She was referred to as ‘she who must not be named’ in his friend group, but that was the only joke. Nothing she did to Megumi was laughable. 

The kitchen light was flickering, you noticed. You'd have to change the bulb.

“I bet you regret meeting me,” He smiled fleetingly. You looked at him quizzically. “Anyone else wouldn’t be insulting you in your kitchen.” 

“I'll never regret meeting you, Megumi,” You took his hand in yours. “And you didn’t insult me. Yes, it hurts, but it’s a harsh truth I have to swallow. I have to understand that not everyone is out to get me. It'll take some time, but I wish to get there someday.”  

“And I'll help you believe that, okay? I won't leave you. Not now, not ever, because you are my favourite person, darling. And should I ever leave you, let me die the most painful death because you deserve a great deal of love — more than I could ever give you, but I will try my best, alright?” 

You nodded, reeling with the weight of his words. He spoke with such comprehension it had you reeling — had he ever confessed his feelings for someone like this before? So thought out and with a pleading look in his eye that made your chest hurt?

Instead of wondering about him, you pulled Megumi closer by his jacket collar, which you realised he never took off when he got to your apartment. Pushing the jacket over his shoulders, you placed the garment on the kitchen counter. Your tear-stained cheeks were glossy under the yellowing ceiling light, and Megumi pulled you back to him, running his fingers over your face to wipe away the streams.

A switch flipped, and suddenly, it felt like the world would end if Megumi didn't tell you his deepest longings. He would lose you if he didn't express how much he had come to care for you. You couldn't take chances in a world full of Jujutsu, especially when the one you loved was tiptoeing the line of death every day.

“I don’t want to not be with you, and it was never my intention to insinuate that. I have a lot of love to give, but I’ve given it to the wrong people in the past who never acknowledged or appreciated it. But I’m ready to give it to you,” Megumi muttered. It required abundant courage to say it, but Megumi was glad he didn’t hold back once it was out — his father would be disgusted if he saw his son now.

The room's atmosphere had changed dramatically, and all hostility once felt in your stomach had dissipated. This was a time of reassuring each other that their greatest fears would not trouble them as long as they were together. 

“I adore you,” Megumi whispered, his heart beating out of his chest. “And I’m not just saying that because of our argument. I’m telling you that I never meant for us to end; I was just getting started with you when I walked through that door tonight. Never mind if you brushed me off at some stupid party.”

Your face heated with shame at the memory. “I'm sorry, I panicked.” 

Megumi nodded in understanding. “I know. And I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll be on your side, always.” 

Lifting your head from his chest and resting your finger on his lips, you shook your head. “My turn.” 

Megumi’s eyebrows raised slightly, and he nodded. 

“Enough consoling me, okay? You need to know that you’re the one for me, too, so you don’t spiral again and start doubting my love for you and your own for me,” Megumi flushed. “You are the most remarkable man I’ve ever met, and no amount of scepticism would deter me from you because you’re all I want. I love you, okay? I will live and die for the moments we share because I treasure them the most out of everything I do. You are love, and I want to drown myself in you for the rest of our lives if you let me.” 

It was silent. Megumi’s heartbeat was so quick he almost couldn’t feel it. You love him. 

You ignored his blank stare and continued. “You don’t have to say it yet, but I know you do. And if it turns out you don’t love me as much as I, you, I will live on my own for the remainder of time because I know that I had the most incredible love in the universe with you, and I would be content with that. Nobody else could make me feel the way you do.” 

Megumi squeezed his eyes shut until he saw stars and then sighed. “You mean so much to me. I’m sorry I can’t find a way to tell you yet, but I will. I know it in my soul.”

“You already have,” You hugged him tighter, and Megumi rubbed his large hands up and down your back. 

The kitchen light had stopped flickering.

“Why can’t we have a relationship like real people? Because I’m starting to think we’re living in some sort of hallucination together,” You mumbled, giggles slipping from your lips.

Megumi’s chest vibrated with low laughter, but the action rattled his bones. “We’ll figure it out. We're not like real people anyway.”

—

playlist: like real people do - hozier — this is me trying - taylor swift — labyrinth - taylor swift — snow on the beach - taylor swift (w lana del rey)

#megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro imagine #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #jjk #megumi x you #megumi angst

[owlpellet]

if you want a perfect example of what guillermo del toro meant when he said that animation is afflicted with "emoji-style behavior" akin to "emotional pornography" then look no further than this clip Disney posted from their Proud Family reboot

everyone has said enough about the dangerous and abusive parenting depicted for laughs in this so i'm not going to post about that; i'm going to instead dwell on the lazy shorthand body language that leaves no room for interpretation. the character is never allowed to turn away from the camera, have a moment of silence, or show subtlety in their facial expression-- every movement tells, not shows, exactly what the character feels.

(as an aside, wow-- taking these shots i realized the mom's lineart clips real bad into the phone hand at multiple points)

look at these expressions and movements. this doesn't convey a relatable childhood frustration of parents valuing control over safety, this looks like the lead-in to a mobile game ad where she gets guided through a series of traps except when you play it it's actually just bejeweled again:

Even the details themselves are deeply insulting to the intended young audience-- the phone's time depicts it being afternoon (don't worry, just reuse assets, kids won't notice):

and in the end, she gets handed a scrooge mcduck sack of coins with a big dollar sign for... bus fare, a very normal and relatable way to carry around one's coinage, because god forbid he just hand her a regular coinpurse or a ziplock bag full of quarters or literally anything a normal person would (i get they are an eccentric family and the show has exaggerated visuals, but, come on-- let's work on tone). are they afraid a six-year-old won't understand what's in an unlabeled coinpurse via the spoken context?

anyway like, not my fandom and not my business or whatever, but god what a dire clip for so many reasons. disney needs to stop undervaluing its animators, the very cornerstone of its existence as a company. it's embarrassing that one of the wealthiest companies in the world can't quality control its animation or take a little risk with emotional complexity.

editing to add (it's 4am and i'm ranting sorry) that the original quote about emoji behavior was more specifically directed at animated feature films, but i think the sentiment shouldn't just be reserved for it. kids are smart and absorb everything that enters their radius, and i think that needs to be respected in the art we make for them too.

#cw parental abuse #??? i guess??? #like it's a wild scene to share as comedy

[zz-chikorita]

Are any of the characters in your Jolly Rogers series wimps when it comes to watching horror? Is anyone a movie buff, or perhaps REALLY into something like the MCU, or a movie snob in some way? If they had a movie night, would they argue over what movie to watch, or all want to see the same thing?

Leon. Is. The. Biggest. Horror. Wimp.

After watching something scary, he can't be by himself and thus will usually have Charizard out with him everywhere he goes, including within his own flat. If he's having trouble sleeping, Char will sleep with the front half of his body on Leon like he's a big ol' weighted blanket.

Leon's favorite thing to do was to put his hands on his hips and puff out his chest, getting all up into Rai's face and forcing their chests to touch. Of course, to anyone else, it looks like they're doing some sort of manly posturing, but in reality, Leon is communicating to him something along the lines of "You got me worked up you rat bastard now find us some privacy and take responsibility."

Also, Raihan loves scary movies, so Lee would watch them with him and then get extremely clingy for the next couple days; he always had to be close by Rai, leaning against him, arms wrapped around him, or curling up in his lap when they're in private. In public, if they walk together, they would always be brushing shoulders.

They've actually had a whole system in place for a long time of various gestures and excuses to touch each other in public that, from the outside, simply look like friendly rivalry. Things like a pat on the shoulder, a light shove, pulling Leon's snapback or Rai's headband down over their eyes. It's all an unspoken code for "I am with you," "I'm still here," "I love you."

Ah, but I've gotten off track.

Guzma is indifferent to horror. He'll watch it cuz Plums enjoys it, but it doesn't really bother him. He's really not a big movie guy in general. There's maybe a few he really likes, but for the most part he doesn't care. He blames it on his shit attention span- courtesy of his many concussions. Guzma gets bored too easily and usually ends up falling asleep during anything they watch. However, the big bad boss man does love himself some cartoons. He used to be embarrassed about it but now he don't give a fuck. If there exists a pokemon world equivalent of Ed, Edd, n Eddy, he would watch the shit out of that cuz I feel like that would be exactly his brand of comedy.

Really the only other thing he'll watch is nature documentaries. Of course, they have to be about bugs. If it's about anything else, he'll fast forward until he gets to the bug stuff. Strangely, he still gets embarrassed from time to time about watching them.

Plumeria is extremely well read and she's also very well versed in the art of film. She loves watching and picking apart movies and watching horrible thrillers or scifi to laugh about the horrible sfx. She loves the MCU just so she can tear it apart for its lackluster writing and gratuitous use of cgi.

Guzma will sit and watch all that stuff with her and listen to her go on and on about it. He doesn't follow half of it, but he listens anyways because he knows how much she loves it.

Based on his personality and demeanor, what movie, or genre of movie, do y'all think he'd pick in this situation? Scifi? Comedy? Drama? Something sophisticated to try and impress Leon? Maybe something scary to try and get the champ to grab onto him in a dark room? Whaddya think?

Just some other quick thoughts on smaller characters: 'Lani loves crime dramas and standup comedy. A. and B. like watching YouTube let's plays together. Charizard enjoys sitting and watching footage of battles with Leon. Golisopod won't watch TV, he'd rather go sit somewhere quiet and meditate. Nanu watches the news and occasionally a telenovela he can't even understand because that's all that's on when he can't sleep at like 4am.

Whenever Team Skull as a whole has a movie night there is so much arguing. Plumeria is obviously the mediator while Guzma is pretty indifferent, unless it's like, a really shitty Adam Sandler movie. It sometimes, but not always, ends with Guzma slamming his fist down and picking one of whatever they're all arguing about so they can all just shut up and watch something. If Leon were to join them on a movie night, all the grunts would be wanting him to watch their favorite movies and asking him what he's seen and what he hasn't. Guzma actually starts getting jealous and ends up putting in effort and picking out one of the few "big boy" (<- Plumeria's words) movies he likes.

#ask zz c #what with the hcs and such #jolly rogers #pokemon leon #guzma #plumeria #raihan #a smidge of raileon #guzlee #influenceshipping #also kind of like 'kingdomshipping' #will i ever decide on a ship name? probably not 😔

[sloaners]

some iruka cheesecake for you

#fan art #naruto #iruka #iruka umino #cheesecake #ONCE AGAIN #I am being weird #🍑👀 #embarrassment doesn't exist at 4am

[sithsdoinshit]

Palps-Clovis-Baby Twi'lek sister really gives me the vibes that the big brothers use her existence to bully each other.

"I'm sure Sheev would LOVE to be woken up at 4am after he just went to bed" *He proceeds to have a toddler waking him up, tells her to go to bed, and then has a Twi'lek child snuggling him because she took it as go to sleep in HIS bed. He doesn't have the energy to move her and groans into his pillow*

"Rush would absolutely love if you asked him to play during a very important meeting for him" *Clovis then has to entertain a toddler while also discussing finances with important people. Sheev payed them off so Clovis didn't fuck up the meeting, just had to deal with the embarrassment*

there is something extremely very satisfying about the idea of a toddler terrorizing the absolute shit out of sheev and clovis on each other's behalf

[dreaminpeaches]

Humble Pie Concept: Hereau Timeline

Okay so its 4am when I came up with this concept it was too hot for me to sleep so forgive me, if it's sound too weird.

Okay, so what if Beau never met Beau (walk with me to this pier before you throw me off), but instead Beau met Hera...

Hera is character from my other blog , but she exists in Humble Pie, as a famous all star athlete. She's not only know for being a talented athlete but also a beautiful athlete as well. Beau knows of Hera and is a semi fan of hers, her poster was one of the only ones he didn't take down when he was redoing his room. Anyways, Hera is also known be to a very cool and spicy athlete often called the Mona Lisa of sports because she never smiles in pictures and she has a very cool girl, competitive and cocky persona in public. But in actuality, Hera is a nervous wreck whose real dream is to break from her cool girl persona and become a cutesy idol girl.

Where as Bonnie and Beau are interesting as couple for how different they are, Hera and Beau are interesting for how similar they are, both trying to break from personas, that they made for themselves out of protect and want to be a more honest verison of themselves, and I could see them help each other through it.

Beau and Hera's relationship is more mellow than Beau's and Bonnie's chaotic relationship, like for example, Bonnie won't really have the patience to go fishing with Beau--like just watching him fish, but Hera wouldn't be really mind it, she would actually find it really calming, and would enjoy watching Beau along with playing with the cats near by.

Beau is less snarky with Hera and more gentle because Hera can be really hard on herself when she makes the slightest mistakes, and tends to fall into stress loops.

While in Beau and Bonnie's relationship, Bonnie is the one usually to make Beau laugh and cheer him up, in Hera and Beau's relationship, Beau is the one to make Hera laugh and is more goofy with her. Mostly because Hera doesn't rub it in like Bonnie does, like when Beau acts goofy around Beau too much for too long , Bonnie is basically like "You like Krabby Patties don't you, Squidward?" If you know what mean, but Hera is more is more like "Thanks, I need that" and doesn't mention again in mocking or teasing way.

Beau and Hera also have a few more things in common, they both like sports (duh) and they both grew up with fathers who weren't the best dads outside of sports. Hera's father wasn't nearly as physically abusive as Beau's dad, he was more neglectful and ignored Hera anytime she wasn't talking about or practicing some type of sport, Hera's dad secretly wanted a son and kind of was depressed when he found out Hera was a girl, and ever since she could walk he always pushed her to more masculine interest than feminine, he would completely ignore her if she wanted to show her dad and new song and dance she made up in her favorite Ariel dress but she would have his undivided attention if she finally prefected her volleyball serve. Bonnie never knew her father because everytime she would ask her mom what he was like she would say "He was a useless p@#$ who couldn't handle my energy, so I got rid of him", Bonnie's mom would as end the conversation there never really elaborating any further.

How Beau and Hera meet is basically the same how Bonnie and Beau met, but with Hera the meeting has a more 90/80s sitcom feel like "All Star Athlete, Hera Grace? What are you doing here?" But less sitcom y because Hera as a nervous breakdown at the same time her car broke down. So, not only is Beau trying to help fix her car, but is also trying to comfort Hera, while at the same time trying figure out what is All Star Athlete, Hera Grace doing in his small town driving a beat up car.

At first, Hera tells Beau that's she just in town for vacation...

Beau: "So, out of all the places you could go as All Star Athlete, Hera Grace, you chose a small southern town?"

Hera: "I guess I just like the humble aesthetic... heh heh.."

Beau:" Okay.."

Beau (internally): Grandma was right, famous people are weird..

Beau and Hera continue to meet to work on Hera's car, and people don't recognize Hera because (a. Small town folk wouldn't really believe some one THAT famous would just plop into town (b. Using superman logic, Hera wears sunglasses so nobody can recognize her. So yes, Beau and Hera are sunglasses stunting couple 😎😎

Anyways, Beau and Hera start spending more time together and get closer, there is that scene where Hera walks in on Beau playing and being goofy with his siblings, but since Hera isnt as teasing as Bonnie, Beau doesn't feel as embarrassed about it.

There is a moment where Beau walks in on Hera doing a Disney number in one of her cute idol dress, she has another breakdown when she realizes Beau is watching, Beau comforts her again, and that's when Hera reveals that she actually made a deal with her father that if she can at least start her idol career in a year, then she could quit her athlete career and become an idol full time. The reason why she came to Beau's town because all the big city entertainment and music companies literally shut the door in Hera's face, Hera suspect that her dad was behind it and was purposely making harder for her since he wasn't going to help out at all with her idol career, which is why he gave her the best up car, there's a small but ambitious entertainment company in Beau's town looking to start an idol group and since it's not connected to a big company Hera felt like she actually had a chance. Hera begs Beau to keep this a secret and she isn't ready to go public with it.

Hera: "Please, keep this a secret, if-if anyone finds out, I'll--ill--"

Beau: "Hey! hey! It's okay, I know what it's like to keep a secret, but at least yours is actually really cute.."

Hera:" (Blush) heh...heh.. thank you, that really means alot to me, Beau"

While Bonnie's hyperfixation is mascots, Hera are idols, idol culture, Idol anime shows/games, and Disney. She often info dumps about Idol stuff while helping Beau work on the car.

Hera: "Oh! Oh, there's this another idol group I like called Arashi, they're were the first idol group I ever seen, and they have this one song that oozes sparkle energy, and they're still really cute and fun despite being kind of old for idols, and --oh, I'm sorry, rambling again.."

Beau: "No, no, it's fine, you smile for real when you talk about that stuff, I like it.."

Hera: "(blushes) UMMMM!..okay, so where was I-- oh, yeah.."

For money, Hera works at a cat cafe, she was gonna work at the same maid cafe Bonnie did but Hera was still shy about preforming in front others on the spot like that, so she picked the cat cafe that was two stores down, she also coaches softball at the local rec center.

Hera is no where near as flirtatious as Bonnie, since Hera spent most of her life practicing sports, and trying to literally win her dad's affection, she didn't really think about boys in a romantic sense, although she is comfortable around guys platonically, Beau was the first guy to treat Hera like a normal girl, not one of the guys or a sports goddess, just a normal girl, Hera is used to being call Beautiful or Sexy, but when Beau calls her Cute, she considers that flirting.

Since Hera is so used to holding masculine energy and qualities and being praised and recognized for it, it's nice to allow herself to be more feminine and being recognized and complimented for it.

While Beau is more sparing but loving with his kisses with Bonnie . With, Hera he uses his kisses to comfort her and/or to stop her from falling into stress/aniexty loop, usually holding her or hugging her or at least holding her hand and say "It's Okay", "I'm here", "Don't worry about it"

Okay, that's about all I have to say for this timeline/AU, I still love both Beaunnie and Hereau equally, I like Beaunnie for it's chaotic energy, I like Hereau for it's neutral good energy, I like both Bonnie and Hera, we can stan multiple queens in this household thank you very much...

#immersive daydreaming #paraportal #paracosm #paracosm: Hereau! Humble Pie #para ship: hereau #i actually like how chill and comforting this dynamic is #hera had some gender dysphoria at times in her life #this post was brought to by 4am brain #im not getting sleep tonight rip that REM #what dynamic are these two i still haven't figured it out

[encounterthepast]

Fic Reading Asks

tagged by @svucarisiaddict

1.       What fandom(s) are you reading these days?

SVU,SPN, Marvel and anything that seems interesting

2.       What fandom(s) have you given up?

No fandom in particular but certain characters/tropes in the fandoms i read that have been done to death or just don’t interest me

3.       How much time do you spend reading fic per day? Per week?

Way too much. It varies with how busy I am but like 1-2 hours a day. I don’t sleep well so i read a lot at night

4.       When do you usually read fic?

Late at night/early morning. Also on the train when commuting.

5.       Where do you usually read fic?

In bed. On the train. In the garden. Airports.

6.       Where is the strangest place you’ve ever read fic?

Hmmm… while waiting for my order at Ikea..

7.       What kind of fic is your favourite?

I like angst/drama if it ends with fluff. I don’t mind smut. Mostly I  like plot. Genuine narrative. And strong reader characters. Not ones who simper and fall for some guy/girl who just spends time embarrassing them. 

8.       Describe your perfect story. What fic would you love to read that you don’t think exists yet?

Gosh. I haven’t really thought about it. Something not set in the USA?

9.       What kind of fic do you avoid?

Celebrity x reader, any real person fic. Bucky. 

I10.   What makes you nope out of a fic?

Complex language overused. No need to use a thesaurus on every word. If it doesn't use paragraphs. 

11.   Where do you get your fic? (FFN, AO3, tumblr, somewhere else?)

AO3, tumblr.

12.   What makes you recommend a fic to everyone you know?

When the writer takes time to develop a character and situation. I like multi chapter fics BUT sometimes i also like a one shot. I think something that isn’t just generic or repetitive. 

13.   How late is the latest you’ve ever stayed up reading fic?

4am.

14.   Have you ever skipped doing something you were supposed to do because you were reading fic?

SO many things. washing up, cleaning, etc.... 

15.   How long is the longest fic you’ve ever read (chapters/words)?

no idea. 

16.   How short is the shortest fic you’ve ever read (chapters/words)?

A couple hundred words

17.   What do you think about drabbles?

LIke them if thry are well written

18.   What do you think about sequels?

when they’re done right & thought out with a sub  plot contained in each section

19.   Post a selfie of how you usually look while reading fic. No

20.   Post a reaction gif for the latest fic/chapter you’ve read.