#emotional dump

[imnotokayfuckup]

I’m so fucking scared but I hope this can be a safe space since I enjoy so many others fanfics

My husband dropped the divorce bomb and says it’s basically not because he doesn’t love me but he the love turned into more of protector I guess you could say I’m absolutely heartbroken there is more to this but I’m keeping it brief for my sake but I’m just afraid I didn’t have the best upbringing with my father being mentally and verbally abusive and so that makes it hard for me to form relationships with men but my husband understood that and he’s more in touch with his feminine side but soft gamer protector and I’m so scared that when this ends I’m going to be alone and not be able to let another man or woman in my life I’m afraid I’m 29 years old and I’m moving back into my parents house in my childhood bedroom.. with the one person who caused me trauma because I have no where else to go because I need my dog and I don’t make enough money to go anywhere else and I’m doing this so im doing this with the love and support of my mother and so she doesn’t have to suffer alone

Any advice would be helpful. Any loving and caring words are appreciated , and new friends are needed especially someone who has a similar story

I can get more info this if I get a good response and help but I don’t want to open myself up to more hurt

Love Jess

#stray kids #skz stay #mental health #divorcesupport #kpop #friends #emotional support #bangtan #bang chan #im so scared #alone with my thoughts #alone #you broke my fucking heart #heartbreak #sympathy #kpop Stan with a broken heart #emotional dump

[slutforsilverfoxes]

Hi friends, this isn’t my regular content but today is a very big Emotional Day™️ for me so I’m documenting my thoughts in this space :) Feel free to skip it, or hell, read it and tell me about YOUR best friend or the band that changed your life 🥰

—————

Dear 14 year old me,

You’re meeting your favorite band today! With your best friend! Who you met online 10 years ago because of said band!

You and your bestie have talked about this so many times and dreamt about it, and even written about it 👀 Who could’ve predicted that a whole decade later you’d be living in the same state and getting to experience this together??

If your mind goes fuzzy when you meet them, at least remember to say thank you. You didn’t know it at the time, but that girl would become your rock as you made it through some of the most impactful moments of your life. She’s been there through it all, from rough nights and breakups to graduation (x2) to getting into vet school to losing your dog and uncle in the same weekend (seriously god wtf was up with that) to flying 1000 miles for your sister’s wedding.

You’ve shared countless laughs, tears, car rides where you sing at the top of your lungs, FaceTime calls, more tears, a couple of arguments for good measure, and so so much growth as human beings. 24 year old me is so proud of you both for being here today and for doing it together 🥹

To baby us, enjoy today! Gotta live it big time 🖤

#i love you bestie #so fucking much #I maintain we were separated at birth #and I just got a little crispier than you #the vanilla to my chocolate 🖤 #wouldn’t be me without you #a decade in the making #big time rush #so fucking excited #literally can’t wait #emotional dump

[fitveganlifts]

I'm having a Rough Day. My anxiety is doing numbers. We're on vacation with my MIL and my husband's best friend.

Yesterday we went to a (lame) craft beer festival, then to a very cool tap room then to get dinner. I told my husband drinking gives me migraines, but I really really wanted to go to the vegan restaurant for dinner.

I thought if I kept drinking I would be fine, but on our walk to the restaurant I started to get a migraine. I took a sumatriptan during the walk. I drank a red bull for caffeine. I still gotta migraine while at the restaurant. I ate a little of the appetizer, half a shake I ordered and nothing else. I took a nasal spray for my migraine and it also didn't help.

We ended up boxing up my dinner and leaving early because it was clear I was miserable. I feel terrible. Max suggested we go home after the tap room and I said I'd be okay and I wasn't. If we had, everyone else could have gone out to dinner somewhere else.

I feel like I wrecked everyone's good time, I feel like everyone would be having more fun without me. I wish I was alone or back at home. I took an ativan and I'm still just feeling like shit.

#personal #anxiety #dear diary #emotional dump

[vannahgw2]

Crying in the club rn had to drop off stray mom and her kittens to shelter because winter is coming and it be snowing soon, and I miss them was crying the whole time don't know where else to express this

#the uber that picked me told me about his dog that was found on the side of the road and he was devastated #his vet friend called with condolences and offered a rescue that looked exactly like the other one #and it was pregnant so the man got a suprise of 9 puppies along #the dog is 14 now and his best friend i cry and i cry and i crycand i cry #emotional dump #i was freaking out from all the dogs barking couldnt remember my address or the date or year i could hear the little kitten meowing and i wa #crying so much #im going to check up on them when they finally evaluate them #i feel like a rock was shoved down my throat and shrapneled in my stomach i hope the stray will be okay

[a-smr-things]

It's been a while. So many things have happened. Well, for starters, I cracked NEET 2023. I'd dropped a year to prepare and now, I am a student of one of the best medical colleges of the state.

As I type this right now, I can feel the air entering my lungs. My chest feels uncomfortable. It's a telltale sign of me panicking. Not a panic attack by any means, I am happy that I've never had one...but, you know- the feeling is still unsettling. In fact, that feeling is the very reason I'm typing this now.

Right now, I am not in the right mind to study. But there will be a question-answer session in class tomorrow, and I don't have much time to waste. I've been reading and re-reading the same thing but it still feels like my head is empty.

MBBS is hard. And the first few days were a reality check. I have a lot to learn and I don't know how to learn it.

This heaviness and that twinging pain in my chest has become a common occurrence in the past few days. Everyday, it's the same cycle. I try to learn and by 9 or 10, I feel stupid and frustrated with myself. I find myself worrying.

I still don't know what to do, but after typing this out, I feel a tiny bit lighter. Maybe switching subjects for a while would put me at ease.

But still, man- I have no clue how to learn physiology.

#life update #emotional dump #trusfrated

[mcu-and-buckybarnes-things]

Nobody cares but I need to spill out for the sake of my own mental health.

I haven’t been here for quite a while because of my own and my mom’s health issues and a lot of other stuff going on in my life.

Long story short my mom officially has dementia now and I’ve moved her from a whole other country to Japan, and then we moved again from where I used to live to a big city with much better medical facilities, and I changed my job, too.

You know in the face of important life events like these, your hobbies and leisure time are simply so dispensable that you don’t even notice what you’ve missed.

Fortunately we’ve managed to settle down. My own health conditions have been much improved and my mom has started her treatment here.

And I’ve started to try to enjoy my life again.

So anyway, seems a lot to catch up on here🙂

#emotional dump #life

[memefreckles]

No one told me how traumatizing it is to lose close friends?? Especially when the whole group decides to leave you at the same time lmao. How does one recover from that please tell me I'm so desperate for answers

#especially because one of them I was friends with since childhood and we had no beef #but he was dating the one I had a fallimg out with #we had no apparently issues but he ghosted me afterwards like we didnt mean anything #emotional dump #its been hm 3 months and im still grieving :)) #speaking

[faussila]

sometimes I feel like I will stay sad my whole life if I don't emotionally distance myself from my parents. but it's so difficult to do that. I don't know how. I constantly think about them and their shit.

#mental health #emotional dump

[the-blackest-blue]

Pt2

Have you ever really felt like a state of dirt.

Everything I touch feels unclean. Nothing can make my hands feel clean. I wash them over and over. Yet I feel dirty.

My body will fail and my life will end. There's nothing I can do! Yet I feel trapped between unable/not good enough and a false sense that could do anything. Both are lies it seems.

I've over come the anhedonia at least 40%! Music is still hard to listen to. But sometimes I get flashes of emotion then fade back to... fighting for a reason.

Fighting to feel connected. It's not all my fault. People don't communicate in a way that makes sense to me at all! Sometimes I can't read people's faces at all.. what do they mean? This is all post TBI AND pmdd brain issues.

Lately I need some medical help.i can tell its dulling my senses too. Tinnitus is worse than its been in a while. Voices are creeping in and just hey. What am I gonna do?!

God was so kind to me over the weekend(and everyday of course). Sensitive and prickly.

Things were OK for a moment.

This world is full of darkness and evil. It's true. They are everywhere. But I knownJesus is coming back. But I don't know why people think it's gonna be a fun time...

To be continued

#jesus #black women #mental health #life experiences #pmdd #actually pmdd #post tbi #pmdd depressed mind rant #emotional dump

[desertcryptid25]

Emotion Dump

I(17F) left my home-state of NV about 6 months ago to move across the US. We did not settle until the beginning of December, and by then I had already been feeling the emotional pull of not having my friends around. It got worse when we tried applying me for the local school, and they said "We could take her, but we can't graduate her since she is missing this one credit. Oh and she can't take another year of HS or summer school." So I have been, for 6 months, a reclusive hermit who stays inside her room. My emotional state has struck me down since the new year as I've watching from instagram stories about all my friends working their way to their next show.

What's worse is I don't know anyone in this small town, nor do I have a job or car to drive myself anywhere to make friends. I rely on my mom to take me out on the weekends, but even then sometimes it feels like too much of a hassle to try to make myself feel and look nice. How can I make new friends if I don't even know where to look? I want to try and make it out here, but everyday I feel the call to just try and escape back to my hometown.

Maybe I'm not made for the small town life, I just want to know how I can make this feel better.

#feeling sad #why did I move #not one friend will find this #thank god #emotional dump #emotional distance #long distance friends #long reads #long post #moving #social meltdown

[cosmicvaca]

Had a bad dream where I was watching tv with my friends and it was my turn to pick what we were watching next. I was really excited because I had pick out my favorite episode of something (I can’t remember what it was of but knowing me it was probably trek) and they immediately started playing tictoks at full blast on their phone. I didn’t say anything until the credits where I asked why did they did that and they replied “no one takes you seriously. Stop trying”. And then I woke up.

#Rod Serling’s voice that was fuck up #personal #emotional dump #like this friend has actually done this to me #the playing tictoks when I pick out an episode to watch of something #not the comment #but like that still hurt you know #I feel like my friends don’t really care about my interest that don’t line up cleanly with theirs #and feel disregarded #like I’ll be talking and the subject would change. #i know that I have a disability that makes communication harder but it happens so often that I worry it’s not me #I try to engage with them the best that I can #i just want to be a good friend #but I can’t shake this feeling #I don’t wanna bring this up with them because they both have bigger things the listening to my pity party #I’m probably overreacting #adri blabs

[quillcat]

The Unwanted Art of keeping hold of a thread

It’s me, always, it feels

Cast as the villain

Never quite more than a friendly extra

But the days,

The days go on.

Days move and I move

It feels she stays stagnant

It feels like minutes when it’s been hours

It feels like hours when it’s been days

I lose track of everything

I lose track of her

She doesn’t like my habits

Yet she cares about me a lot

But the betrayal she feels is more than what she deserves

And I actually agree with the sentiment.

How to be a good person?

How to be a good friend?

How do I stop unintentionally harming her fragile heart?

How do I be perfect?

How do I meet her demands?

Demands that drain me of joy?

I move with time and forget it all the same.

I don’t think she does.

I think she knows time all too well, and knows moving as well as she knows a stranger.

And yet, why do I have to do the majority of things?

I get punished for ignoring the bare minimum.

I don’t do the bare minimum because I think I’d rather have my teeth plucked out.

Her luck is bad.

My luck is fine.

I want to share that luck but how do I show *love?*

My version isn’t correct.

It never is.

Demands of love

Demands of care

Demands of friendship

Demands of… something.

What?

What is it?

All I feel are demands

And it’s difficult to feel the determination to try anymore.

I want to let go,

I can’t quite do that yet.

How do I let go of something so worn down?

How do I set it free?

It’s nothing but something tattered.

But despite this,

Despite the chore it has become to try to make her happy,

There’s a deep feeling of care I have.

I think I will always have it.

I care about her.

I want her gone from my life.

I hope she finds great happiness.

I want to go to her house just to keep driving by with a sneer.

I desperately need for her to catch that break she deserves.

I want to remove her from any place I can see her.

I would give anything for the burden life has given her to be lifted.

I hate her.

I despise the idea of what this friendship is, now.

The work it takes and the shitty yield don’t feel equal.

I am blind to time, and yet, it has felt like this has gone on too long.

I hate her.

I hate her in a way that only love can.

#quillcat poem #quillcat writing #my poetry #my writing #Freeform poetry #mental health #friendship #bitterness #resentment #poetry #love #care #internal conflict #external conflict #emotional #emotional dump #weariness #conflicting needs #conflicting relationship #relationship #rough patch #writeblr

[theamazingazaria]

AS ALWAYS I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE BEEN FOREVER CHANGED BY AN ANIME *COUGH* *COUGH* I'M LOOKING AT YOU DEMON SLAYER *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* SWORD SMITH VILLAGE ARC... Did I cry fifteen times? Maybe... WAS IT WORTH THE SWOLLEN EYES?! Absolutely!! DID I BINGE THE WHOLE ARC IN ONE SETTING?! Yes... yes I did! DO I REGRET IT JUST A TINY BIT? MAYBE! Though I will say at least this time there was no doughnut people...

#anime #demon slayer #random #nezuko kamado #tanjiro kamado #Sword Smith Village Arc #swordsmith village arc #emotional dump #binge #doughnuts #kyojuro rengoku

[thequid]

The emotional switches I take in my house is crazy. One moment I'm talking to my dad about this manga adaptation I'm watching and the next moment I'm crying after my mother tells me I don't deserve to have an opinion in this house.

#personal #emotional dump #and dont even get started on the fights between them #i just want to leave this place 😭😭

[xxbabygirlposts]

Truly sick and tired

All I wanted was snuggles but, instead, I got more struggles.

No more dirty-talking gal for another guy to play ghost on my sweet soul.

I always say this but fall helplessly for the idea that maybe it'll work out only to find that it's either one-sided or trust becomes a big part of it. Enough is enough.

I am done with social media on the forefront. I always say that I am here to stay with Tumblr and yet I keep expecting someone to say 'hey, i miss you and care about your well being. lemme come cheer ya up grump guts' but nope. Just more silence, more brooding, and more fucked up thought that I'm not cared about.

Then I realize I care about me though. I get sad about it because it makes me think, no one genuinely knows me nor likes me enough to even be around. Whether I have a cleared schedule or not, whether I express my thoughts or not - imposter syndrome settles in like crazy.

Then again, I am here for me though. So now what do I do? Do I get used to just being alone? Will I need to cut off all communication?

Am I being too extreme about it? Should I try again even though when plans get cancelled or someone says they want to hang with me but act standoffish towards me the whole time, my heart tends to feel like it's getting crushed to all holy hell?

So yeah if you see the bags under my eyes with a broken smile, I am still trying but preserving what little of my grit remains.

#thinking out loud #thoughtful #journal entry thoughts #venting #emotional dump #relationships #friendships #social media #alone #self loathing #imposter syndrome #raw thoughts