TW: s*icide and d*pression mention
had another mental breakdown today. sobbing on my bedroom floor, alternating between crying and hysterically laughing, like full on losing my mind. it was kind of good timing because i broke down right before i was supposed to talk to my therapist
i told my therapist about how much i want to unalive myself and the ideations i have and i feel like,,,,,,,,i maybe should not have told her. the concern in her voice was really alarming and so far i've just told my parents how i've been feeling and they were stunned, but they didn't sound as serious and freaked out as my therapist.
she said that all this suffering for this long of a time span is really not good. i guess it's kind of weird to hear a mental health professional confirm for you that you are indeed suffering. like it's not all in my head.
she told me to try medication. i have a lot of concerns about that and i probably will not go that route. idk what i'm gonna do. i'm supposed to see people tomorrow and idk if i'll have the mental real estate to handle socializing.
I still need to write the “Greg goes to Mycroft after John and Mary’s wedding” prompt (and it’s gonna be CUTE and also include John/Mary/Sherlock because I say so).
I don’t have any other definitive ideas right now for Mystrade but I am also just greatly enjoying the absolutely PILES of fic. So, a nice place to be, really.
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there’s a part of this book where doughty describes how, as a child, she found herself obsessed with the macabre -- how she’d lie awake at night, waiting for her mother to get home, imagining that she had been killed; splattered all over the pavement, ground beneath burning rubber and gasoline. it’s a part i really like, mostly bc i was also That Kid n i think we should be able to be more open abt this kind of stuff
we are all stories, in the end (if we’re lucky)
the torn-up road, richard siken / disenchanted, my chemical romance / when you were mine, night-terrors of 1927 / unknown / the torn-up road, richard siken / the haunting of bly manor / the torn-up road, richard siken
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