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#end me fkr real
skitskatdacat63 · 6 months
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F1TV commentators discussing DOTD:
"The driver of the day is Fernando Alonso...but, what a performance from- uh- sorry, Lando Norris is the driver of the day."
"But should've been Alonso, shouldn't it?"
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heatsu · 10 months
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the little hater boy
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screampied · 5 days
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if I lose my ask progress one more time i am going to go insane !!!
hi bby its me @lxnarphase !!! (*´꒳`*) I couldn’t help but see something about kenjaku mentioned by an anon and just HAD to share my thoughts
SO HEAR ME OUT !! kenjaku and takaba duo
kenjaku is guiding takaba on how to touch you and make you feel good but poor takaba is just an overeager, messy, needy man who has been pent up all day and wants nothing more than to just slip right into your pretty cunt and rut against you until he creams inside of you
but kenjaku doesn’t let that happen, he’s mean and tells takaba ‘just the tip for now, fumihiko, don’t get too excited’ and evilly smiles when you both whine at the sensation of his sticky cockhead fucking in and out of you…
but let’s be so real, takaba cannot listen for the LIFE OF HIM and after a half-assed apology, he’s slipping all the way inside to the hilt, so wet and messy as he moans against your mouth about how good it feels to actually fuck you like this.
kenjaku just clicks his tongue and shakes his head, pulling takaba away from your mouth by his hair, that dark smile not leaving his face as he so smoothly coos at takaba for not being able to follow rules
‘can’t listen even a little bit, can you? listen to her, she’s so loud and pretty…aww, did you just drool down onto her cunt you’re so nasty to her pussy, fumihiko, I thought I was teaching you better than this, you dumb mutt’
im. im not sorry, i need them both dearly and needed to share this thought with someone (;ω;)
OMMGMGMGOGKGMGMG THANK YOU 🙇‍♀️
bc i kinda do wanna write for kenny one day esp since anons mentioned it to me 😞💪🏽
ur so real i love anything “just the tip” related
OHMYGODD??/8;9( a whole fic in my inbox bless ur heart im frothing ??? DOYOU WRITE FKR THEM ?? i need to stalk ur masterlist actually 😋
HELLOTHE ENDING. i love pussy talk like SO BAD you get me
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psychrolutidae · 4 days
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Restless legs syndrome is prbably my least favorite knee sensation. Heres some childhood stuff that also makes my cpu overclock (reddit rant#2)
r/chronohaul
Man i wish i coud just do an audio message on here but im not doxxing myself im a [probably] autistic highschool girl who gets mass downvoted every few weeks. Anyway ive been thinking 🤔 I've been thinking 😁 idk how the Yakuza works and idc to learn cause thats a little too #real yanno so if I'm off the mark here i dont give a dam. But theres two ways the whole school thing can go: they go to whatever school together and probably don't speak to anyone other than each other (kai out of disgust, sickness etc, hari out of "ok that's what kais doing and i dont really have the desire to do anything else so I'll just follow him around [thats actually a pretty succinct chronostasis character analysis in general]"). i imagine kai would struggle with germs and stuff and hari would stand guard casually outside of broom closets and bathroom stalls while he had breakdowns in there (lost kitten by metric moments! listen to it now When you come undone i cover you uuuuppp) and then kai would just come back out not really looking any better and say Okay lets go.
And the other angle is the two of them confined to the hideout, the youngest in the building so having next to no one to ask for help with questions from the textbooks tht were requested to be procured by pops . This one Low Key makes me insane cause it completely recontextualizes them. Like wdym you two literally only had each other through your entire childhood and now you just say shit like "sorry 4 the wait i was trying to keep our trail clear" "thanks" likw HUH HUH
even the idea of them going to school together does that to me cause i doubt they ever talked to anyone but each other so. A little more socially adapted but still very isolated situation.
This would create The most insane codependency youve ever seen. Literally only having one other person your age who completely understands your living situation would drive you insane. The more i think about them the less likely i feel like it is to ever do deep character analyses on either of them without coming to the conclusion that they Cannot survive without each other. And that's gay as hell.
One more thing. Is the idea that they knew what their roles as adults were going to be. At a certain age they would cease to be friends and become boss and employee. And. They knew thjs the whole time. Allll the training chrono did tk become a marksman was done with the knowledge in mind that he was going to directly serve kai. How do u liveeee with ur best friend knowing ur gonna be directly subordinate to him indefinitely.&."!&!&!"!*!_!&! What did this knowledge do to their baby psyches. (It made them more codependent).
So non e of this stuff about them growing up in the organization together is evr confirmed but like ... if chrono was friends w kai as a child and then joined the shie hassaikai later in life i kinda doubt he would have as much admiration fkr what kai does for ut bc chrono does show a devotion for the SH. Hes like This is 4 the gang!!! And gets stabbed its like that vine with the guy shooting a basketball and saying This one is to end racism and then missing the shot. So to me this is my canon just cause it makes sense. And if it came out that chronos joining the sh was a "quit yr job" "why" "join my emo band" scenario well I'm gonna be really upset
Anyway just to be clear the potential autism isnt the reason i talk weird i just think its funny and Freeing to use weird diction and go off on tangents. The potential autism is definitely the reason i spend half an hour writing these things though. Love you all (no one is reading this) 💖
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tfyouthinkiam505 · 1 year
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really wish i could expose my ex to his stupid friend who was tryina tell me that im the problem and that i was the asshole
im not the one who sent a video of someone killing themself to someone who i knew was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, thinking it was funny
im not the one who flashed the other person multiple times without their consent and before we were anywhere near being a "thing"
im not the one who asked someone out and then proceeded to threaten to kms after being rejected because the other didnt want to be in a long distance relationship and didnt really feel that way about me, forcing them to agree and say theyll go out with me
and thats all just within the first MONTH of us even KNOWING eachother
im not the one who broke up with him while laughing
im not the one who, right after breaking up, went off n started fuckin someone else, who was a minor 4 years younger than me while im a grown ass adult
and dont even get me started on all the shit that i wasnt the one who did THROUGHOUT our 2 year long relationship
what did i do that was so much worse than what he did?
most my relationships before him were really abusive. so i lost my temper a few times when HED provoke me. i never hit him tho. just yelled. hes the one whos a body builder twice my size backing me into a corner while yelling and raising his fist at me like hes boutta hit me over some small shit
picked on him a little bit. picking on others is how i show my affection. cause being vulnerable wasnt a good thing to me after yknow. being in so many abusive relationships beforehand as well as all the neglect from my parents throughout my life. so its kinda just how i am
thats about it.
towards the end of our relationship when shit was getting real bad, i started losing feelings for him and gaining feelings for someone else. but its not like i acted on them n me n that person didnt even get together till like 3 months after my ex n i had broken up
the thought i was guilt tripping him when id have panics attacks over something that was wrong and confided in him over and for, in again, a panicked state, taking up his offers to help fix the problem
he offered to get me something that would help the situation
and if i wasnt in the middle of a panic attack, i would have 100% declined and told him i was fine. i cant think straight when im panicking and i never asked him to help me. he offered of his own free will and me being in the wrong state of mind was reaching around frantically for anything i could get that would ease my anxiety
but ig all those things are awful and make me a terrible human being
otherwise all i did was give him gifts
gave him all my attention and free time
loved him
comforted him when he was sad or upset
held him when hed cry when he visited
even if it was after he was finished blowing up at me n making me fear for my life wonderin if he was gonna hurt me or not
i always did my best to be there fkr him with whatever he needed
so idk 🤷‍♂️
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godschosen101 · 2 years
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I definilty cant believe how much i let my ex get away with im glad i got even or even went above a vio tbh i went a lil criminal. He lit no one to me all of people associated with him have some weird obsession with me, he was jealous by how many suiters were interested in his bird at the time so he took it out of me and made it so its my fault to ignore the fact his friends r shit
And he knew he didnt deserve me
He used to tell me all the time
And i feel like he punished me for it
To fill his ego he would keep me there knowing hes not noble enough to change his narccistic ways which is near enough impossible as it is
And to stop gaslighting me AND himself
This is important
He also believed his own lies
So what was real you may ask
My body and his were very connected including our brains
So i would feel when he was being genuine
End of
In this case logicality won over the spiritual side
Because i got rid of him after 4 years
And even though i felt the genuinity
He would switch it off whenever we were together
And spirit has been trying to get me on my shit and away from the palm of his hand fkr a while now
So i hope he enjoyed it while he could
And he will realise that what he lost isnt coming back this time
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psycho-mocha · 2 years
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taking a break from mental health for academic validation
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douubles · 3 years
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me: has something precious
me, inevitably: finds a way to fuck it up for everyone involved
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That feel when you have a dream and the entire thing is set in a hotel and a recurring theme is that the beds are really shitty and hard and then you wake up and remember it's cause you've been sleeping on a mattress that is really shitty and hard all week and haven't been getting enough sleep because of it.
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zedecksiew · 3 years
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Sentimental thoughts about the OSR
OSR -- Old School Renaissance? Revival? A style of making and playing games, where the focus is on the experience of shared imagined space, not narrative plots or arcs.
A style fostered by a community.
That community was ugly. Many alt-right-leaning white dudes. It sheltered abusers, like Zak S -- a person who, to my shame, I'd been a fan of.
That community was good. Many key figures were queer / trans. More so (to my impression) than any other RPG community (even other indie groups). Non-white folks, like me.
The popular TTRPG eye remembers the OSR for its ugliness, not its inclusivity. Probably because the assholes were loud. And because the non-white / cis / het-ness of folks was rarely advertised as a community selling-point: "Look at how diverse we are!"
The latter aspect made me feel welcomed. My work -- entirely informed by my SEA context, as it's always been -- got attention based on its merit, not its topicality.
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The OSR as I joined it was based on blogs, and on G+. When G+ was shut down, the community had a diaspora.
You hear about BOSR (British OSR), or NOSR / NuSR. You used to hear about SWORDDREAM? I think FKR (the Free Kriegsspiel Revival) is an offshoot of the old community? There are a million Discord channels. Questing Beast, on Youtube.
The blogs are still going strong.
I can't keep track of all the places folks have ended up. I do feel bad about that -- that I'm less community-oriented, that I work more in isolation, now. I squat Twitter mostly. Twitter is not a good place for a creative community.
But it is what it is.
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An article Ewan Wilson was writing about the OSR got spiked at Polygon. I was one of the folks he emailed questions to.
Ewan's questions prompted this bout of sentimentality, I guess?
Here are bits from email I wrote him, in reply:
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The OSR scene began on blogs? That's certainly how I discovered it. I can actually remember the specific post that hooked me:
Patrick Stuart / False Machine, reading James C Scott's "The Art Of Not Being Governed" -- a history of the Zomia region of mainland Southeast Asia, a place of fluid cultures and peoples that have traditionally resisted the settled states surrounding it -- riffing on the historical information in Scott's book, spinning them into RPG campaign ideas.
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A facet of the OSR scene is its willingness to use popular rulesets as a shared language.
Dungeons & Dragons (tm) not as a WOTC corporate property, but D&D as a community vernacular. (And D&D is just one example.)
Folks like Emmy Allen and Luka Rejec have talked about this quite eloquently, I think?
I think the OSR prioritises making stuff for games rather than crafting the bestest, most elegantly-designed game possible. If you are stuck arguing about which language works best for poetry, you'll never get to the point where you actually start making and sharing verse.
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I associate the OSR style with possibility, too. I'm not sure why.
Mainstream WOTC D&D is trapped in a self-referential loop, recycling its own Forgotten Realms-adjacent tropes. Then you have the vast forest of licensed RPGs: "Alien: The RPG", "Avatar: The RPG"; "[Insert Popular Nerd IP Here]: The RPG".
Many indie-RPG communities prize genre-emulation -- here's a game where you can mimic the narrative shape of a slasher film; an urban-fantasy novel; Legend of Zelda.
Not that there is anything wrong with this. But if emulation is where you start and end you doom RPGs to a secondary role -- forever in the shadow of other arts.
For sure the OSR has its pop-culture and games-media touchstones; the scene loves to riff on metal album covers and Dark Souls a lot.
But I'd argue that -- relative to other RPG subcommunities, in my experience -- OSR creators are willing to push further down the rabbit-holes of their particular obsessions more often.
So, yes: Dark Souls and metal music. But also references weirder, personal, and as-yet-untapped: Zomia, punk zines, walks in backyard forests, Birkenhead folklore, the Permian Period, Moebius, East Malaysian myth --
Composted together to the point they become game things utterly unlike anything else, and the stories / experiences you can have in those game things you can have nowhere else.
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The blogs are still going strong.
Today I was reading this series of posts, a theory-based critique at D&D, the OSR, and games design in general:
"the goal of what we call "old-school play" is not to create a story but to traverse a fantastic space guided by desire, such that any story which emerges is incidental and retrospective (much like stories that emerge from 'real life'). edwards prescribes that the goal of play is to create a story, elevates this prescription into a truth about play as such, and then claims that players who do not play with this aim actually fail to meet this aim because they are mentally damaged. perhaps this can be remedied by playing the correct game, or maybe not, but regardless the implication is that by playing the correct game, one can avoid brain damage.
my take is to not let salespeople convince you that you must buy their products to be politically or mentally correct, and on the flip side do not entitle yourself to the enjoyment of other people."
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4. All four are worth reading.
Today I was also reading the very first OSR blogpost I ever read, about Zomia. It is still as good as it was, six years ago:
"The Lisu, aside from insisting that they kill assertive chiefs, have a radically abbreviated oral history. "Lisu forgetting, Jonsson claims, "is as active as Lua and Mien remembrance." he implies that the Lisu chose to have virtually no history and that the effect of this choice was to "leave no space for the active role of supra-household structures, such as villages or village clusters in ritual life, social organizations, or the mobilisation of peoples attention, labour or resources."
18 Radically forgetting tribes. How far can you push that? Ancestor free tribes, then further away, one-year tribes, then in the reaches of the deeps, the one-day, impossible even to understand as they remember only for one day.
Patrick's blog turned 10 this week.
The blogs are still going strong.
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scribblemetae · 3 years
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No wait because I agree, Jungkook has been telling the truth!! I didn't know how to word it but I didn't understand why people thought he would lie about something like that. Especially since if OC were to find out Jungkook did actually have any romantic feeling or take part in any sexual activities with Amina, she really would be absolute done with him! He has been doing everything in his power to be the perfect partner for her, I just don't see why he would lie about his relationship with Amina since they are sisters. They are sisters so it isn't hard for them to see each other regularly. One conversation and it is over for him. I mean do people actually believe Jungkook, who practically killed his parents to be with oc, would let something ever take her away from him?
I had a conversation with a friend one time about Jungkooks past with Amina and one thing she said kinda got to me, "he banged his hand on the table while saying it didn't happen so maybe something did actually happen and he was mad she found out" this is speaking on when he declared nothing happened when the younger one tired to sleep with him. Although it could have been a possibly, I don't this he was lying. Considering how loyal he has been to OC I don't see why he would put losing her on the line. Now we don't know the story behind the attempted sexual activity but we do know it was enough to piss Jungkook off. Could it be because he didn't want OC to think something happened or is it because he felt violated? Amina very well could have sexually assaulted Jungkook. That leads people into the thought "he is a big guy, why didn't he push her off" or something else but anyone at any age can be assaulted. We don't know what age this event took place but it was enough to cause a huge change in their friendship.
Jungkook has had the thought that OC has been in love with him since he was possibly 16. He has thought she was leaving him her personal item from bracelets to panties all the up to her personal journal. In his mind they were a Romeo and Juliet, forbidden to be together so they would try to leave things here and there for each other. We saw how Jungkook handled the situation where he thought was "cheating" on him, is that the same man people thing cheated on her with her very own sister? My main thought is if Jungkook did pretend to have feelings for Amina, what would happen if Amina would tell her sister about her "boyfriend"? Had he faked a relationship he would have lost the one he always wanted before it could even began. And if we play off of the thought "OC thougt they were together" wouldn't it have hurted her to see the love of her life be with someone as close to her as her sister? Jungkook would never try to hurt her purposely, if he did even accidentally he would freak out and try to fix everything. Why would he have to fake a relationship with the younger sister if he could just have the older one? There is no reason, which is why it never happened. Being friends with Amina was enough fkr Jungkook because it had its own benefit for himself.
Lying has been a big role in Jungkook and OC relationship but one thing that has stayed clear is once OC finds something out and confronts Jungkook, he caves. Once she asks about it the, he tells her the truth. Maybe not the whole truth but like I've said, I don't see a man, who has waited nearly 10 years to be with the womwn he loved, do anything to put their relationship on the line. Losing her now after he has finally gotten her would only cause him to go even crazier.
Now that he has taken things from little notes to phonecalls, he won't let OC go. Now there is no real reason to keep Amina around as far as we know. I also personally agree once Amina saw the message from Jungkook and possibly heard by her own mother she saw Jungkook in her older sisters house, it dawned on her that her relationship is over. Once Jungkook saw how her sisters attempts at sleeping with him affected OC he was ready to end it once and for all. For me, there is no other person it could have been on the phone for me. Who ever was on the phone with him also has OC number, he knew who it was and he panicked.
Amina is definitely going to put Jungkooks and OC relationship to the test. If what I think is ture, it all becomes to much and OC wants nothing to do with him due to the drama, we might Jungkooks yandere personality greater than what we've seen so far. Whatever does happen, if I'm right or wrong, I'm super excited to see what's next 🤗
I fucking love asks like this. I love the deep delve and analysing of all the possibilities and the strong beliefs.
Did you say you and a friend spoke about it? About my story?? WHATTTTTTT THATS MAD
I'm glad you're excited and have so many ideas and I applaud your jungkook belief ❤
But seriously I can't say shit incase of spoilers but with the root of the current topic the next chapter is gonna be very interesting
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avaliveradio · 5 years
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Sirens and Shelter talks about connecting with people through music on behind the music
I have very little interest in the music business. For me, creating, releasing and performing music is about connecting with people, not the number of likes, downloads, views, streams or sales. I take pride in my work and that will always trump trying to “make it”, whatever that means.
Band Name: Sirens & Shelter All music by Scott Mallard
Song name: Carried Your Weight
Music Genre: Rock & Alternative
I live in... Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, though I was born and grew up in Gravesend in Kent, England.
Link to play: https://open.spotify.com/track/4gEQpqaDGln8zbSMY60XmY?si=lPsmdVcwQMm8ZeBzV4snZQ
 https://sirensandshelter.bandcamp.com
In the summer of 2018, I moved to Malaysia and, without meaning to, continued to write songs.
‘Carried Your Weight’ is quite simply a release of frustration at a situation back home which I felt powerless to influence or help resolve; I could only observe from afar.
Living 7000 miles away from your family and friends has its difficulties, and feeling the distance is definitely one of them. This track is personal and I think you can really hear that in my vocal takes.
The music...
It’s difficult to explain why I create, but I’ve definitely used my time away from family and friends as a source of “inspiration”. I’m not particularly good at answering questions or expressing myself under pressure; taking time to write songs helps me reflect and articulate things in a way that I struggle to, ordinarily. 
Aside from this, after releasing two acoustic full-length records, I just really wanted to make some noise and get loud!
How do you think this release represents your current direction?
‘Carried Your Weight’ is a very significant release for me, as it represents a new beginning and direction for my music. As I mentioned before, my previous releases have been acoustically driven, but I’ve found that by adding additional instruments and starting a “band”, I feel I’m able to express myself in greater depth. 
I worked with a wonderfully kind and talented producer and a drummer called Paul West at Awesome Source Recording. He has helped me capture ideas that shaped this song, and I’m incredibly grateful for his help.
What most inspires you?
I’ve spent the last few years living abroad and this has given me some great memories and also some incredibly humbling experiences. I love writing songs because it challenges me to communicate and capture these memories and experiences. Everything I write tends to be quite emotionally charged; I wouldn’t want to release music that wasn’t genuine. 
Writing songs is incredibly enriching when you achieve something that you’re proud of. It takes me a long time to write music because I want to achieve balance, meaning, connection and musical ideas that resonate with me. There’s a lot to consider and many important decisions to be made with every song.
Website & social media links: https://m.facebook.com/sirensandshelter https://youtu.be/P59SOsqVpM0 www.instagram.com/sirensandshelter
Comments:
Jacqueline Jax I totally agree with Scott. Music shouldn't be only about the number of likes, it should be about the connection with those who hear you.
Percival Ngidi one,as long as you reach someone's heart
Greg Godovitz You only need two followers... in my case it was my Mom and Dad who never tired of telling interested strangers that I was their son... Xoxo
Theo Starr None... if you have influenced someone for the better that's all you need
Joe Ausmus I've heard to strive for 1000 fans that will spend $100 per year on music, merch, tickets etc.
Jamie Lee Fisher If you create music fluently and can express your emotions than you are a successful musician
Kendall Hollinger 0. But you need a whole lot of friends & listeners haha!
Victor Kanmelu i dont think followers online really matter you know. i believe your real follower or followers must be that person that is committed to your success. i dont really believe in having huge follower base to make an impact, i believe in one being a majority like example one man can change the world, one follower can buy all your merch , one follower can buy all your c.d, one man in the bible prayed and the heavens ceased of rain. i dont believe having so much followers result to a musicians success. its even risky in a way security wise.
Squigee Mango Depends what you mean by successful followers and likes can be bought so how many can you afford......
Thomas Craymer Both sides are somewhat valid (: having computers does make it much easier for independent artists (such as myself) to record more songs without having to pay overpriced studio prices.... Though with all the artists starting up, talent alone is not enough to get oneself noticed, but a good image for a target audience, and a lot of luck is also needed....
Ryan Kirkpatrick It isn't all negative though. I'd just encourage artists not to fall into the trap of believing success is predicated upon a metric, number or algorithm. Music and art are about tangible, substantive connections and emotional commonalities. I guess you have to prioritize what's more important, money, or matter. You still have to get out, take your message and art to the people. I still believe that most of those who are searching for something, aren't finding it on a device screen. Make it personal. It matters. Cheers!
Steve Wilkins With all I’ve done online so far, I’ve been much more successful busking, playing shows, and selling CDs to people at work than I have been promoting online. So for me I would say it’s not easier.
Chris Franz Its easier to promote yourself but the numbers you are required to have on all social media platforms restricts a lot of new talent from even a shot at becoming big. For example the model country music uses now for new artist is to not only get them touring but also get them on a radio tour as well. Of course the artists must foot the bill but its really the only way to get near the charts. You dont have to be number 1 on the charts to get noticed but you need to on the chart. Social media becomes a marketing tool but ultimately you need to increase your fan base the old fashion way. Playing the gigs and getting the fans.
Jacqueline Jax Hi Chris. So true. But I had to build my business every stage of the way and if I wanted to make music my business, I would treat it just like that. Invest in your product and the marketing. Have a good plan and push forward. But at the end of the day, it’s very hard work and many artists just don’t have what it takes to stay dedicated.
Victor Kanmelu You must have real skills , internet is just to have presence and marketing but tell me whats presence and marketing without quality content my queen? infact when i get to where God is taking me to you shall not see me online anymore, i shall relegate all duties to my manager because i shall be busiest on the field. one more thing am gonna impact my spirit into my manager so he/she wouldnt be posting whats not me
Slam Dunk Theres nothing easy about being a music. Otherwise everybody would do it. but its a great trip.
Vern Peterka I think the internet has nothing to do with “becoming” a musician. It might have lessons to learn and a means to show the world what you do, but becoming a musician is something that is in us, in our hearts. The majority if my music making happens in my studio with no internet connection happening.
Prin Sielski I get what your saying. It matters, because your music and creative projects need to be heard. I know for myself, there was nothing more discouraging than people in my family and friend circles knowing I was working on musical projects and sort of shrugging things off. People are aware of the physical, financial, mental, and emotional investment there is when creating music and the very low return rate on any profit, and yet, they are willing to like, share, comment on posts of trendy or famous people, but not their own creative family and friends. So yes, likes, comments, and all that social media stuff matters, because that is how people hear anything these days. Without an active social media base, there is no one to hear your music. Also, I’ve known people who have a large following and when something gets put out, like an album or a simple single, almost none of those social media followers will even spend the blessed $1 it takes to support the person lol ... oy! So you can’t even say having active followers guarantees anything! AhhhhH!
Thomas Craymer Very, as I am still starting.... so far, my favourite comment was from a friend Ron.... he said "Take the psychedelic path less travelled, and you'll find Thomas Craymer".... I have included that comment on my Spotify bio (:
Johnny Travis Yeah too many cheeky fkrs Some need a slap lol
Karisa Kay Support is important but most important is “that song helped me” that is why I do it!!
Gregory Boyce Halls I value comments because they tell me what people feel but i applaud your perspective.
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