#end of the world if im arospec but it feels like it would be. like ive been so certain for so long that thats one thing im not

[etherealspacejelly]

ERM

ok so

anonymous bc no way am i showing my url on this Jhshsheheh

so like all my friends at school. they seem. so much more mature than i am???

like even the ones who are younger than me. they're already thinking about partners. and dating n stuff. like some of my friends already have partners

but i. just am not interested in that rn??? and sometimes i feel like there's. something Wrong with me. yk

like im year 9 but. i feel like i should be thinking about this and it feels like im not mature enough that i don't want to worry abt that now

- 🐉

there is nothing wrong with you. listen to me. there is absolutely Nothing wrong with you.

it is perfectly normal to not be interested in romantic relationships, i wasnt at your age and im still not. i am in a platonic relationship with my best friend, mostly because it comforts us both to know that no matter what happens we will not be alone. even if all of our other friends get into romantic relationships and prioritise them over friendships

desiring a romantic partner does not make you more mature than anyone else. having a romantic partner or a partner of any kind is not a requirement for happiness, fulfilment, or maturity.

focus on what You actually want. ask yourself what would make You happy, what would make you feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life. set aside these notions of what we are Supposed to want, of what it is ""Normal"" to want, and focus your attention on yourself. this is your life, and you owe it to yourself to follow your own path.

i think it would help you to research aspec identities, especially aromantic ones, and talk to aromantic people about their experiences. you might not be aromantic! alloromantic people can still have no desire to be in romantic relationships, and that is perfectly fine and normal. and likewise aromantic and arospec people can want to be in romantic relationships despite their lack of romantic attraction. what i think researching this community will do for you is show you that romance is not the be all and end all of human beings. it is not a requirement for existing and being happy.

i think even progressive parents can fall into this trap of telling their kids "when you grow up and get a girlfriend or a boyfriend" or "when you get married to your spouse", and like, yea its great that they arent assuming you will be straight, but they are still placing the expectation on you to Want a romantic relationship and that you will have one no matter what. and that doesnt have to be the case!

your "happily ever after" does Not have to involve riding off into the sunset with your One True Love, it can in fact be a freezeframe of you and your best friends jumping into the air together and pulling silly faces!

idk this is. a long and rambling answer to what was a fairly simple question but. this ask hit me very close to home. i know how you feel. i felt Exactly the same way when i was your age. i felt wrong and broken and different and i didnt understand Why everyone was so excited about dating and kissing and relationships. so. im telling you what i wish someone would have told me.

take a deep breath. and let go. you dont need to have it all figured out Right Now. you can in fact just enjoy life as it happens! you dont have to know exactly what you want at this age. you can figure it out as you go. you have So Much Life ahead of you to learn and grow make mistakes and change your mind and figure things out and just. live.

the world wont end if you never want a romantic relationship. life will go on. you will find out what Really matters to you. and thats the beauty of being alive! please do not force yourself to do anything you dont Really want to do, just because thats what it feels like you're Supposed to do.

you are unique and beautiful and so so alive. you are doing just fine, and im so proud of you. you belong here.

you are loved.

#inbox #ask #inbox open #ethereal space dad #aromantic #asexual #advice

[inventedfangirling]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

ah finally after a gazillion years i've been able to get around to doing this after being tagged by the ever sweet @fiercynn , so lemme straightaway get down to it.

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc.

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hello there, i'm a 24 year old gray-ace panromantic desi on the romance positive end of the arospec (im still undergoing the wonderful but also often difficult and long journey of discovering myself so this is subject to change :3), i prefer going by my username so i'm not sharing my name.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched bad buddy exactly 3 months ago on the 15th of May, 2023. i watched all the episodes all on the same day and i know the date because after finishing the show i sent a 7 minute long audio note gushing about the show to my best friend. i ADORED it that much. and that's where all of this started. i loved the show so much and the lack of people i knew irl who were interested meant i had to find other people in the fandom to freak out with. i kept posting one after another favourite bad buddy edit of mine on my twitter page, gushing about it, but i got barely any response and that's when i reminded myself that tumblr exists and i should get back on here. and that's how i made this account 2 weeks after i watched the show and voila here i am surrounded by people who are as crazy about the show as i am and i couldn't be more delighted about it :')

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa ofc

favorite character(s)

i love pat with all my heart, the man he ends up becoming along the course of the show is one of my most favorite portrayals of any man ever BUT pran is my actual favorite, he is my baby, (somehow both) my elder and younger brother and my best friend and he has my whole heart. his love, his hesitance, his anxiety, his bravery, his dimples, his FOREHEAD, his striped shirts, his precious heart i would DIE for him no questions asked.

favorite episode(s)

episode 11. each segment had something for the heart, i adored every single second of it...the sheer volume of beaut quotes from this episode is mind blowing! ("being with you already feels like freedom", "i can be anywhere as long as i have you", "we have been happier a lot too", "thankyou for trying to make a silly guy like me happy..." "i wrote this song for him", "one man can't change the world, but this world can't change me too"), and the soft loving looks of adoration making me clutch my chest, but also there was the quintessential patpran banter and bad buddy humour and wisdom i LOVE this episode with all my heart.

episode 5 is perfection. it comes second for me, but that kiss will always be number 1 <3

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, balcony phone call, episode 7 ending when pat comes to save the day and the play, episode 11 red shirts commitment expression scene, and the final credits and post credits scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

i wished the gangs didnt bully eo or anybody else even in the beginning, i get it shows growth but still i wished that was shown differently. also i wish we got a conversation where they talk about the guitar. and while we're here i wish it was somehow longer, i could have watched ohmnanon be patpran for HOOOURS.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

traffic was slow for the crash years by @fiercynn aka the creator of this meme. i absolutely adored every single second of the fic. despite it giving me a WORLD of pain. all the pain made it more beautiful and everything was worth it in the end. like i said before you took a great thing and made it even better <3

every piece of art that @hereforlou comes up with. you are a GEM!

all of nanons gorgeous gifsets!!

same page video edit that even p'aof tweeted about. SO good.

enchanted (aka patpran's official song) and other patpran edits by this same SO very talented editor

mudhal nee mudivum nee - another beautiful edit but desi so its even better <3

this super clever edit of patpran to message in a bottle. it's an instant serotonin booster for me.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

you can hear it in the silence - bad buddy bet era fic (the only one i've written till now)

my bad buddy textposts collection

my pran and pat's growth posts

this post that took me 20 mins to write but is one of my fav things ive written about the show

my long treatise of bet era patpran that took me a week!

list of accounts (hopefully i haven't forgotten any) whose meta and analysis and brainrot i absolutely adore- @miscellar , @telomeke-bbs , @grapejuicegay , @aroceu, @dudeyuri, @dribs-and-drabbles, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @sharingfandoms, @waitmyturtles, @ranchthoughts, @lurkingteapot, @lurkingshan, @thegayneurodivergentagenda, @kenmakaashi, @absolutebl, @charthanry, @bengiyo, @mahuhumaling, @panickedbisexualwatchesbl, @jemmo, @patspran, @fiercynn, @midnightfreeway, @fierceeyesanddimples and a couple more im sure ive missed. it was {and continues to be} a pleasure reading their thoughts about the show (or any other show that we've mutually watched).

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

message in a bottle because of this edit

daylight cos of this edit

enchanted, because of the infinite edits we've got from it and if im not wrong pat ohm has acknowledged it too

and basically all other romantic songs in the history of romance i guess :3

alrighty then i think i'm done with this tag. this was a LOT of fun to compile <3

#bad buddy #bad buddy getting to know you meme #bad buddy fanworks recs #bbs fandom #bad buddy fandom #bad buddy the series #patpran

[kusuokisser]

oomf reblogged a bunch of aro stuff and in honor of pride hour (i made it the fuck up Dont ask me any questions i dont talk to paparazzi) i want to talk about MYYY experience being arospec because it is Isolating and even if this reaches literally no one id rather at least have tried to share my feelings. Spreading love! 💝

growing up i very quickly realized that i wasnt getting crushes like the other kids were. as early as second grade i started trying to force myself to like the boys in my class. id, like, look around the classroom at the start of every new school year and look for the next boy to have a "crush" on. It sounds kind of funny looking back but like i remember how desperate i felt doing it. i remember one year i genuinely hated every boy in my class with a burning passion and, if nothing else, i remember the feeling of being wrong. i, a 4th (maybe 3rd?) grader, felt isolated and gross because i couldnt force a crush for a year.

i had known none of the other ones were really crushes, but it wasnt the romance i wanted it was the connections. i wanted to be able to join the girls talking about their crushes and i wanted to have a reason to try talking to boys; i wanted to be liked.

in 6th grade i think was the first time i didnt try to force a crush. i dont remember much from that year but i know that i didnt feel good. youd think that, as an arospec, i would have enjoyed the break from faking romance but at that point i didnt understand that my feelings werent quite real. i knew they werent like everyone elses, but i really wanted them to be even if it meant lying a bit to myself on the way. i felt wrong and weird.

in seventh grade that was when covid hit and everyone was quarentined, and also that is the year that holds my worlds most obvious example of my aromanticism ever. genuinely think back to this and go "how didnt i figure it out sooner"

i convinced myself i had a crush on my at-the-time best friend. there was no crush by the way, i judt knew i liked him more than all my other friends and to my socially deprived brain that meant it had to be romantic right? well he didnt like me back and literally i went, watched like two YouTube videos on something or other, and was over it. because the feelings were never genuine. it was never love it was a desire to be close with someone

8th grade was the first time i actually fell in love. by then i had figured out im a lesbian, and i met this girl named Jane. She was literally everything you could want in a girl and i fell HARRDDDDDDD i was so in love dont even. but I found that my capacity to love her fluxuated. the love was always there, but some days it was more platonic than anything. sometimes thr platonic periods would stretch for weeks. sometimes it would switch between platonic and romantic multiple times a day. it confused me and honestly? it scared me a lot. i distanced myself from her and eventually we broke up (for seperate reasons but this def contributed)

that really messed with me because now i was left with two understandings: i can definitely experience romantic attraction, and the romantic attraction can change at the drop of a hat.

after a lott of time and research i finally realized and accepted that im aromanticflux (will go into detail if necessary) and you know what? it didn't make me feel better. if anything it made me feel worse; i felt like such an asshole for getting in a relationship if it was always going to end.

now i am. Still coming to terms with my identity but i am learning to love and be kind to myself. the point of this whole thing is. youre never alone. there are eight billion people on earth, at least one of them is going through the exact same thing as you right now. you are not any less of a person because of your attraction or lack thereof

#Mimi gets serious wtfff #gross never do it again #faun talks about something other than saiki??? #aromantic #aroace #aromantism #arospec #Umm how do you even tag this #If it finds you it finds you. Love yourself ☺️💝

[rwqv]

h\getting personal on main????//? no way dawg

cw/ a very very stupid person

anywyays . please fucking help me . i am in a predicament

so this girl asked me out (i hate her. i do not like her. she is a shitty human being.) in a long ass note laa dee fucking daa where she basically admitted she had a SEXUAL crush on me. not ok!!11!1 dni dawg read my boundaries smh

but like. yeah. anyways, i share an english class with her. i purposefully sat at a different table than her, because, again, I DONT LIKE HER. i was waiting for my friend and guess who didn’t show up!!11 my friend!!!1 guess who did!!11 the people she absolutely hates!1!1 (theyre super nice i love them to the ends of the world they are just so nice i could never talk shit about them <3 /p)

so yeah. she was all alone at the damn table by herself looking goofy as fuck (did i mention she looked stupid)

but i dont want beef w/her cause thats gonna cause me TONS of trouble. i aint want that shit. so i tried to be nice to her (halfway across the room LMFAOOOOOOOOO)

but!!! apparently!!! im a moron!!! not only did i try to include her in the class discussion, but i accidentally!!!! did a heart with my fingers at her!!!

anyone who knows me knows i am asexual. aromantic spec too!!! i meant it in a platonic way . guess what happened

HER FACE WENT REDDER THAN A DAMN APPLE. IT WAS RED. i knew i fucked up then

i still have yet to respond to her letter where she said she rlly liked me (because i am totally a girl!!11!11!1 mf read the damn room i wore a suit n tie to homecoming shouldnt that tell you something)

so i heard from a best friend that NOW SHE THINKS I LIKE HER. QUITE THE OPPOSITE REALLY.

thats the story, heres the predicament.

i want to tell her this. it would be very easy, if i just went up to her and told her “yo i dont mean to lead you on im asexual and arospec not interested in you youre a great person though, sorry about that!!”

the problem is ,,, i dont know if i feel safe going up to her!!! 1. shes highly unpredictable. 2. she has said before basically that she has some sort of ASIAN FETISH, AND THAT I WAS A PART OF IT. (feell rlly bad for the other visible asian kid in my school, props to his ass)

ok then, you might say, go with a friend!

that also has bad repercussions. my friend geoup is not on the best of terms with her, my closest companion absolutely hating her ass and it being known worldwide that they arent in good kahoots. 2. she will know that i have talked to a friend about the letter and start shit talking me to everyone else, thereinby ruining my record

nevertheless, now shes spouting off shit about me liking her. help ^_^

[alcorian]

I'm arospec but what you're describing reminds me of comphet, when lesbians get crushes on fictional men or celebrities for similar reasons, and I think I've heard other aros talking about similar things. tbh it totally sounds like an aro thing

hm... im not sure

see, i think ive experienced this.. er.. comp-romance. in middle and high school, i dated because i felt like i was "supposed" to be getting romantic feelings. but everyone i dated i was way happier being friends with, and i ended up stopping when i realized that i was hurting not just myself, but my partners who i didnt feel anything romantic for.

crushing on fictional characters doesnt feel like something im "supposed" to do, so im not sure if thats it.

worth mentioning at this point, i have had romantic feelings for exactly one (1) real person, and i think two fictional characters. so its not a whole lot. but it is technically twice as much as ive felt for anyone irl.

(if anyone's curious... those characters are yui komori from diabolik lovers and mammon from obey me)

i guess im less worried about past crushes invalidating me and more wondering, if it happens more, will it invalidate me IDing as aro/arospec?

i dunno... at the end of the day, the reason im interested in the aro label at all is because i want to communicate simply and quickly that a) i am not available romantically despite being single, and b) i very, very, very rarely actually experience romantic attraction so if you think im into you, im probably not, sorry. or youre welcome.

so with that in mind, should it even matter to me if i feel romantic attraction to fictional characters every once in a while? it has nothing to do with the reason i have for using the aro label. like, i would not really care if i didnt want to communicate the above, i wouldnt be having a sexualty/label crisis. i'd just accept it as something about me that doesnt need a label. except it does, because i want people to know facts A and B about me, because i think it will make it a lot easier for me to exist in the world

i just dont want to appropriate a label if its not supposed to apply to me

#tadofvylad #aromantic #questioning #askbox

[stimmingandshifting]

streamer dr :)

im a smaller variety streamer, mowothman. i stream primarily story based games (i infodump about undertale), minecraft, and nonograms (in which i listen to something or just ramble or sometimes it’s just quiet). my fanbase is primarily other trans autistics. we have stim breaks. i pride myself on a personal connection with my audience, and often have very small streams where i just talk with chat and hang.

my closest friends are the four other people on the azalea smp, a wholesome smp with a little plot (might be more lore in the future thanks to trax) based around the cottagecore aesthetic and connection with nature and each other. all the creators are trans and most of us are autistic.

so the people who basically became my best friends and family:

Me: mothmanvibes, called moth. They/he, transmasc. I know my own personality writing it down makes me feel like a character instead of just another me. But I’ve been streaming for around a year now, got popular over minecraft tiktok where i just made dumb memes about how being a miner and a flower picker is wild because i just keep collecting things and then fucking dying. Newest member of asmp. Chill fanbase

AzaleaFlowers: he/him, trans man. Azalea, Az for short. Natural leader, calm, collected. flower crown with a blank expression. Fairly quiet, much better with a plan than not, posts on YouTube more than streaming because of that. Has a kill button on his desk for when things get too much and he has to end stream. Sort of underground but everyone that knows him LOVES him. Super chill fanbase, almost entirely trans and autistic, lots of fan interaction over tumblr. Met me through TikTok, commented “trans autistic miners” and we quickly bonded over shared passions and started streaming together. Az much prefers being on others streams than his own, so he’s on mine quite a bit. Dude I can’t express how much I love this guy he’s so chill the kind of person you could sit in silence with and not feel awkward. organizes everything

Shaber: she/her, nonbinary transfemme. Shae. The builder to my miner, platonic wife. My first friend besides az on the server, always helped me feel included and not lost. Small fanbase that would commit so many murders for her. She’s so nice she’s like “im going to make houses for my friends :)” and everyone even people who have never seen her content before swear their lives to her. I want to kiss her /p. yt is mostly build tutorials and vids of the asmp. i have not accurately explained how much i love shae she is the light of my life my best friend my favorite person. we’re both arospec and bad at differentiating attraction so like. are we dating? not to my knowledge but i don’t really care i love her very much

BeaBoi: they/he, transmasc. Bea. motherfucker /lh we have a sort of joking rivalry because we’re both the smartass they/he math gay but I would kill for them. sibling energy honestly this shit is a dumb bitch and i love him. makes fun of me for mining tons of shit and never using it but they rely on my redstone to make funky music contraptions so suck on that you fuck. Feral cottagecore. Only really got into the smp originally bc he’s long time friends with az, but genuinely loves it and brings an element of humor and lightheartedness.

abandonedtraintrax: they/xe, agender, trax. cryptid. knows fuckign everything about everyone. no stream schedule, they disappear for a month and then boom 10 hour stream. The adventurer. Online for 23 hours but no one sees xem but then there’s just one message in chat saying “i found another totem”. genuinely a very nice person, very quiet. Very dry humor, quiet in vc and then suddenly makes a comment that has everyone wheezing. the one making some vague sort of lore- living up to xir name, they’ve been making abandoned monuments and leaving little codes. Xe won’t even tell us. Their yt channel is mostly a series of videos of recounting the “history” of abandoned monuments and temples in one mc world. there are entire tumblr blogs dedicated to figuring that out

#i care them :) #shae: exists #me fucking sobbing: wow you are amazing #shae my beloved #my username might change tbh i’m indecisive #dr: streamer #moth #shae #azalea #bea #trax #reality shifting #shiftblr #desired reality #streamer dr

[oh-no-whoopsie]

reasons I love kip!! (aka @ghostsingold) 

(making this post bc they deserve all the love and my meds have kicked in so im able to be productive today. thanks long-acting adderall!!) 

kip I love you for so many reasons and as I fill out college applications im gonna list them out <3 no special occasion its just! you make me happy and I wanted to share that with you and since I have a teeny blog no one will see this but you <3 

1.) this response to a post I made on my old blog. it was one of my first positive interactions on Tumblr and this tiny piece of writing made that entire week easier. it was a tiny start to a friendship and it was also a stranger caring for me, which at that time I didn’t think was possible. 

2.) every single time that they have been a part of the Brown Eye Stan Club and hyped up brown eyes,,,,dude I can’t you’ve been such a big part of the journey to accept my brown eyes. it means so much to me that you just? say it!! you’re proud of the fact you love brown eyes! hell yeah dude! thank you!

3a.) for sending me songs that remind you of me??? to have someone think of me?? MY HEART?? I- I can’t express how much it means to me I just,, hnnhhh you even made me a fucking playlist (which I listen to CONSTANTLY) (here is the playlist ) just. dude. I love you 

4.) one of those songs is Glitter & Gloss by Skott and 

          a) this song makes me feel like a fucking badass 

          b) made me feel so appreciated and loved because it was the first time someone had said “this song reminds me of you!” 

          c). when I was stalking your blog trying to find my old posts I found this post about that song and?? sunbeams through Spanish moss? trees? pretty?? is this how you see me?? im in love????? also this ask I sent you where you describe your love for the sun <3 the implication that I am even a little bit like the sun to you makes me wanna cry happiness 

5.) Your taste in music is SUPERB. IMPECCABLE. A DELIGHT. 

6.) Someday I will have the strength to do naniwrimo with you and that will be a glorious month (and next September we should be able to be writing buddies!!!!! because now I have meds for attention span so I can write again >:) ) 

7.) A long time ago (old blog) I asked for people to give me nicknames because I never got cute nicknames and because I could only ever insult myself. for the longest time I forgot what you said but I remembered!!!! it was birdie!!

          a). even though now most people call me doe cuz of bumblebee, you were the first person to reply to that post and just because milk suggested fawn/doe and it stuck doesn’t mean I love birdie any less 

          b.) it means a lot that you suggested it in the first place and while I was finding links for this post I came across this ask where you call me birdie :> p.s. you still mean a lot to me and I hope you’re okay <3 

8.) every single time you sent me a picture of a frog :),, also that one post about taking fake shots of water still sends me but I can’t find it to link it,, and also everything you listed on this post including the fact that it is inspired by my post

9.) when you agreed to talk to people for me when I was panicking thinking they were going to die but had to go to sleep. that means so much that you would take that role on and dude I am so so sorry I ever asked that of you. 

10). you made me find magic in the sunlight and not just the moonlight, you helped me find that balance and accept that piece of me and it sounds stupid but its really important ok also im just gonna say it: your voice is perfection it is comfort it is warm and all things good in this world. ive only heard you speak like twice but I could listen to you for the rest of my life

11.) sometimes you send me posts that r like “thinking of you!!” and THEY MAKE MY DAY omfg 

12.) when you drew me!!! 

          a.) bc holy shit you are an amazing artist if you let me I want to post that drawing of me on my blog

          b.) I was supposed to draw you in return I am sorry I did not,, I still plan on doing it tho 

          c.) we drew ourselves as fairies and that was pretty fun 

          d.) you made me see beauty in myself I- 

13.) for never once encouraging my ed or bad habits. you were ready to call me tf out and I appreciate that so much dude? you were never subtley pro you also seem ready to stab anyone who opposes you. hell you post callouts against pr0-ana shit and m**nspo and f*tspo and photoshop and all of it. I admire you so much 

14.) for letting me ramble on about hermes and offerings and spirituality! 

15.) for lighting a candle for Catherine and talking with me that night

(I have the entire conversation copied into a google doc on my phone because it needed to be saved. the things you said are beautiful. it is so touching and breathtaking and if I could hug you I would and  I promise not to forget if you won’t forget. )

16.) holy shit dude P O E T R Y, both for being so good at it and for reading mine. 

17.) helping validate my arospec questioning and enby questioning,,, it was actually through your blog that I realized oh shit! I might be aro!! and having someone to talk about gender issues and arospec stuff is SO AMAZING and I love you <3 and thank you for talking with me and for helping me and for validating me 

18) validating my anger!! or at least helping to do so! you point out when things are unfair! you genuinely want my life to improve! you helped me realize some of my friends are shitty! you helped me accept things! 

19.) I love your vibes. I can’t say this enough but somehow you are just so wonderful to me,,, you are amazing I can’t describe it. you are ethereal and terrific and your features could be anywhere from beautiful to cryptic to solid to handsome but I promise you that there is something unique about you. a bit of mystery and magic left over from the days when fairytales were real. you have all the power of the sun and light and fire in both the life giving and the destructive aspects. you are so perfect and wonderful thank you 

20.) because you told me “you do not deserve to be traumatized” and in all honesty that slapped me into reality. if i still had my old Tumblr I probably would’ve screenshotted it so I could get the exact quote but I do not know how to make you understand How Much That Helped me 

all in all,,,, I must end the list here because I need to go be productive. alas.there is more I didn’t even BEGIN to mention,,, but kip, you are my rae of sunshine. someday we are going to go be cryptic authors in Scotland who disappear into the woods, perhaps to hunt with the faeries, perhaps no, who knows. we will become part of the local lore,, independent and happy and spooky. 

I love you so much!  also sorry I went through your archive to find all this,,,, to be fair I already did it once to find my posts <3 

I would never say that just one person “saved me”. thats too big of a responsibility to share. but kip, you helped save me, in ways I can’t explain, from myself and from death and from an abyss of numbness. you saved me from a thousand tiny deaths and gave me a thousand new pieces of life and I would not be the person I am today without you. I love and appreciate you so much and you bring me sunlight and joy and peace and connection. you are a true friend to me. thank you for being here. you deserve the world and so much more. 

#i luv u kip #tw disordered eating #do not think I am a stalker I just really want you to feel appreciated atm #I love you!!!! with all of my being I love you! #and I want to be there for you like you are there for me

[arofili]

FRODO for the aro thing

What arospec identities do they have? (Can be as specific or vague as desired)

Frodo’s greyromantic, but on the more aro side of things. He’s also very ace, and while he’s only ever really liked one person (Sam), he feels comfortable calling himself gay too.

How proud of being arospec are they?

He doesn’t feel particularly strong about being arospec, it’s definitely something he feels is his own private business. He’ll talk about being aro with his close friends, but that’s about it.

Do they prioritize their arospec identity over any others?

No, not particularly

Are they out? If so, how did they come out, and to whom?

Sam knows, of course. And Merry and Pippin, though he didn’t feel comfortable coming out to them until the Quest. Bilbo knows- Bilbo is lithromantic, and he’s the one who helped Frodo figure things out. And Gandalf, but Frodo’s not sure if he ever actually came out to Gandalf or if Gandalf just knew.

How do they feel about romance? Romance-favorable? Romance-neutral? Romance-repulsed? Or does it fluctuate?

Frodo’s pretty romance-repulsed, which is difficult for him on the rare occasions he’s feeling something like romantic attraction to someone. (It’s Sam, of course. But even then the feeling comes and goes, sometimes it’s not romantic at all, and when it is he’ll isolate himself. Which isn’t a great coping strategy, but it’s what he does)

Have they ever experienced arophobia? If so, how?

Hobbit norms around sexuality can be kind of rigid, especially in Hobbiton (Buckland is way more chill), and while there are definite Bachelors (gay + aspec hobbits) they do get looked upon oddly. When everyone in the Shire is talking about how queer Frodo & Bilbo are they’re not just talking about the whole adventure and magic thing. Lobelia is a typical culprit, she likes to be nasty about Frodo and Bilbo just on principle. She’s actually afraid that either one of them will settle down and get married and have some kids, but she doesn’t understand why they aren’t and is suspicious of them either way!

How do they show their arospec pride?

Frodo’s favorite color is green! Sam plants flowers around Bag End that are all the colors of the rainbow, which he loves, but Frodo will make little bouquets of just green leaves to leave in his windowsill (Lobelia despises this)

Do they actively try to combat amatonormativity in their daily lives or elsewhere? If so, how?

Not really - Frodo likes his comfortable life and he can deal with the pressures of hobbit society, he doesn’t want to go to the trouble of changing anything. And after the Quest he’s already saved the world and he’s too tired to do anything else. He and Sam are in a relationship but it’s very private and only Rosie really knows or cares.

Was it easy for them to label themselves arospec, or was there a long period of questioning? How many labels did they have to try before landing on the one they use now?

With Bilbo also being arospec, it was pretty easy for him to realize he was aromantic. During the Quest he realized that he had feelings for Sam, and while that was a surprise he pretty quickly decided he was actually greyro, “oh and gay too I guess.”

Would they be interested in a QPR? Why or why not?

Yes, and he and Sam are in one! They figured that out on the way home to the Shire after the Quest, though that was mostly just having actual Conversations and putting Labels on it- they’d been in a QPR for most of the Quest, after they got to Rivendell pretty much. Sam is bi and he loves Frodo in a romantic way as well as a queerplatonic way, and he’s married to Rosie whom he also loves in a romo way, but he prioritizes his relationship with Frodo. Rosie knows all about this and she’s totally fine with it, she and Sam fulfill each other’s needs and love each other, and she is fond of Frodo even if she doesn’t feel the same way toward him as her husband.

Final thoughts?

im love him

#thank uu <33 #arospec ask game #ask games #aro blogging #aro tolkien #frodo #aro alien #answers

[memedong]

man, stop asking and trying for a girlfriend when youre arospec and wont have the capacity to care for her. its fucked up. you want someone cute and warm to hug and have sex with without actually loving her romantically like she would you and thats just cruel, dude. no girl wants to be your mother and just care for your needs

holy shit. shut up.

1. im aroSPEC, as in spectrum, which includes grey & demi aro which i might be (im unsure my orientation since ive never had a crush before, no telling what the future might bring)

2. “when youre arospec and wont have the capacity to care for her.“ wow guys? because im on the aromantic spectrum i dont give a shit about any of you? who knew!

3. “you want someone cute and warm to hug and have sex with without actually loving her romantically-” never did i say i would go into a relationship w/o having feelings for the person, not once. i want more than anything in the entire fucking world to know what love feels like & experience it. thats what my post was saying, “i hate being arospec i want to have a crush :(” i want to have a crush. i want to feel romantic feelings for somebody. not “i want a relationship despite feeling nothing for the other person” like.. how far up your ass did you reach to pull this bullshit out?

the fact that you think id run into the first relationship that came to me willy nilly proves you dont know a thing about me, yet here you are spouting wisdom in my inbox? do you know how many friends have said they like me & asked me out, but not once! did i ever accept! you know why? cause i didnt like them back! im not some monster thatd accept & end up hurting the person in the process because i didnt reciprocate. all i want in this damn world is a crush so i can finally reciprocate w/ someone.

#asks

[kaedekayano]

001; Kanzaki and Kayano. 002: Gakushuu Asano

oh boy i’m abt to get so excited and emotional fuck adkaldjahdhdjsd

kanzaki/kayano

when I started shipping it if I did: i don’t remember tbh. i always lowkey shipped it haha, but i don’t think i really realised it until @wassailtofivehundred was like !! yukikae !! and also i saw cute fanart and i rewatched a couple episodes (kyoto trip ehh) and i was like, fuck i really ship this. also a lot of it was b/c around december (the time i published be your own hero) i started liking kayano a lot more and then that made me salty bc nagisa/kayano was so poorly written and an injustice to her character. she deserved a person who she had actual chemistry with, and i think kanzaki is definitely that person (or one of them).

my thoughts: pure!! good!! beautiful and amazing!! i love it!! so much!! i’m working on a v v long yukikae kayano-POV fic right now and i’m excited to show it to y’all b/c i have trouble expressing how much/why i love characters/ships until i have a fic to support it, haha. but anyway i think kanzaki is really good for kayano b/c she’s so understanding and caring, and kayano is good for kanzaki because — look they just care so much abt each other okay they’re so Good.

What makes me happy about them: so good. so pure. so beautiful. they’re just healthy for each other and i love the idea of kayano’s best friend supporting her through all the shit she’s gone through because fuck, man, kayano’s mom and sister are dead, the only “friends” she had, she built her friendship on a lie, the teacher she tried to kill and then turned out not to be guilty is dead anyway (bye bye, purpose that kept her going for a year despite all her issues), the person she was for a year was a lie but — not all of it, okay, deep down kaede kayano/akari yukimura is still a good caring person and kanzaki knows it even if she did lie and the two of them supporting each other and I just — yeah

What makes me sad about them: i’m always full of salt about kayano so :/ i don’t like it when people don’t acknowledge the kayano arc happened/kayano’s real personality is very different from the one she pretended to be/she lied to the class for a year? yeah matsui just decided to forget about it and sideline her because he’s a shit writer and what the fuck is continuity, but that doesn’t mean you should follow his example. so it’d be great to see those issues acknowledged!! give me kanzaki understanding kayano did fucked-up things and is a messy person who was not the kind, cheerful, sweet girl she pretended to be and loving her anyway!! (acknowledge and justify the kayano arc for why it happened without throwing logic out the window, and i’ll personally send you a thank-you card)

things done in fanfic that annoys me: there are two fics on ao3 for yukikae, lol (i’m planning to remedy this because inexcusable!!). one is kayano third wheeling karmagisa w/ like 5 lines of actual yukikae (no offense to the author, the fic is fine, it’s just Not Yukikae). the other is green’s fic and admittedly there isn’t a lot of overtly romantic yukikae but it’s a really good fic and there’s good worldbuilding and concepts and y’all should read it

things I look for in fanfic: having it exist. that’s what i’m looking for. that being said, see above rant, because while there aren’t many fics about kanzaki (beautiful daughter pls love her more), there is plenty of fic about kayano and it is almost never accurate. it makes me sad. accurate, well-done characterization is what i Live for

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: both of them, okuda. as previously mentioned, kanzaki, maybe yada? for kaede, rio, also yada, maybe kataoka (it’s mentioned kayano admires her and i don’t think that was a lie, akari seems like the type of girl who recognises and respects strength and competence in people). um. the 3-E girls are all good in general haha, the only person i can think of off the top of my head i’d say no to is okano with kanzaki because okano dislikes her and kanzaki is uncomfortable with that, so. :/ although seeing them work past it (and okano getting past her own insecurities regarding her femininity) would be cool, so even then, i can’t say Absolutely Never. just not nagisa/kayano pls

My happily ever after for them: sometime in their mid/late-20s, they move into an apartment together and own lots of books and cute stationery and various trinkets. also a cat. maybe other pets, like a hamster or a dog. kayano is a successful actress all over again but keeps her relationship with kanzaki not secret but lowkey. kanzaki is away from her parents and likes her job and reads a lot of books. their friends come visit them pretty frequently and the neighbors think they’re adorable. they’re happy.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: omg fuck i suck at this kind of thing. i think kayano would be the big spoon and kanzaki the little spoon but i don’t think they’d mind switching

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: um theyre fond of reading and decorating things (apartment they move into together) and baking and taking walks together. probably taking walks with the dog tbh. that was like 4 i dont know sorry im still in the developing stages of headcanons for these two ive only been highkey invested in this ship for like a month and a half okay

gakushuu asano

How I feel about this character: today i started thinking about him completely out of the blue, with no prompting, and then i sat down and wrote 4 pages in my notebook about an AU where ikeda doesn’t die and gakuhou remains a good dad. last sentence is “in another world, gakushuu asano is healthy and happy and okay.” this is pretty much how i am all day every day i love this child so much he’s just. i see a lot of myself in him (hes relatable okay) and he’s so amazing and brilliant and full of curiosity and potential and i!!! love!!! him!!!! i want him to be happy so much!!! i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

All the people I ship romantically with this character: karma (obviously haha), um. fuck. im really fond of renshuu (like really fond) but i usually ship it as ren having a one-sided crush on gakushuu that eventually concludes in ren realising shuu’s crushing unattainability (also i hc gakushuu as ace arospec and he’s kinda ehhh abt romance in general. projecting? me? yeah) and dealing with it and they become really really good best friends even tho it makes ren’s heart hurt a lil bit but mostly its okay. fuck i had a fic abt this i started months ago that i never finished i gotta do that but yeah i envision the virtuosos’ dynamic as being very very complicated in general. oh yeah i cant believe i said i ship karma/gakushuu only once in this post so far so anyway i ship karushuu i love karushuu karushuu is love karushuu is life

My non-romantic OTP for this character: the virtuosos of course its not like i wrote like 1k+ of meta on this hahahaha also gakushuu/isogai, gakushuu/kataoka (why cant we see his respect for her acknowledged as well i know isogai gets his own ep and all but kataoka is still important and is also a class rep :/), gakushuu/nagisa a little bit (i used to be super into it and i still kinda like it), i actually really like the idea of platonic!karushuu because those two are cute boyfriends but working their way from enemies to rivals with grudging respect for each other to best friends?? it’s good

My unpopular opinion about this character: he and karma are not the same person or quite frankly anywhere close to it. there’s lots of parallels they’re good narrative foils but seeing people act like gakushuu is just a recoloured karma makes me sad. pls no my son is so complex and wonderful and different pls pls understand this he’s not just karma akabane with orange hair he’s his own character and such a good one

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: he goes to MIT and is separated from his father’s awful awful toxic influence and lives a happy brilliant successful life and is emotionally okay. i mean it’s not non-canon hahaha but seeing it onscreen would’ve been cool. we can assume that happens anyway tho b/c it’s gakushuu. uhh seeing him interact with his mom onscreen (or like, seeing his mom at all) would’ve been really cool!!! for who i imagine his mom as, i pretty much just think of @cosmicyue‘s hideko asano headcanon :)

my OTP: karushuu obviously. ohh man i love these two nerds so fucking much okay. they hate each other so so much but they also have this respect for each other alright if i start talking about why i ship karushuu (something ive actually never done on this blog bc i dont want people to think im trying to push karushuu on everyone ajdkakdkajsh; theres hardly a shortage of karushuu shippers around) then im gonna b here all day and this is already really long. ill shut up

my cross over ship: none i dont rlly think about AC in relation to other fandoms tbh

a headcanon fact: i have so many. fuck. um one of my favorites (ive mentioned it before but) is that the asanos are both fluent in 3+ languages and they talk shit about people they look down on in those languages when they’re around those people, just to make people uncomfortable.

send me a ship, a character, or five characters

#gakushuu #ac #ask #yukikae #anonymous #also if my complaining abt nagikae bothers anyone (which i totally understand dw) let me know and i'll tag it :)