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#endeavors bad parenting

originalbastard · 1 year

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You know how messed up shouto is bc of endeavor. It’s canonical that after his fifth birthday until he was at least 13 he was not allowed to see anyone except his father outside of brief interactions with his siblings. No wonder why after everything he still wants endeavors approval. He was the only person he was in extremely formative years of his life and he was the reason for it. Shouto forgiving endeavors says nothing about his character. This is a result of long term abuse that endeavor doesn’t deserve. Endeavor needs to be put on trial for child abuse. Period.

#enji todoroki #endeavors shitty parenting #endeavors bad parenting #endeavor hate club #endeavor abuse #endeavor #shouto #bnha #todoroki shouto

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wolfgiselle · 8 months

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Summary: The brighter the light, the darker the shadows. And in a super-powered society, those shadows are dark indeed. But whilst the world desperately trained more and more heroes, making that light brighter and brighter, the prestigious hero school, UA, had another idea. Why not tackle the problem at its source?

And so was born the infamous class 1-A. Would-be criminals from all over the country were selected, and a group of twenty now roam the halls of the school, alongside the heroes of the next generation.

Last year, the entirety of Mr Aizawa’s class A graduated. But this year was different. No, he didn’t believe they would all graduate back into society like the classes before them. He believed they could become something bigger. That was why, with gritted teeth and a manic smile, Eraser Head turned to his new class of students and said:

"You aren't villains - you never were, and you never will be. But you can take that fire inside of you and put it to good use. We're in a hero school, aren't we? Well then...

"Let's be heroes."

__________

Review: The concept of a Villain / Reformation Class 1-A is an amazing one.

I started out as confused as Midoriya about what he could've done to get placed there. Even when you're finally told the whole story, you can't really say he deserved the placement - even if everything worked out in the end.

The best part of this story is the backstories created for all the 1A kids. They were all in character, and their reasons for being labeled 'villainous' resonated as something their canon versions would've actually done.

Whether it be Iida going after Stain (which, of course, he actually DID do), Jiro overhearing a secret she shouldn't have, Uraraka becoming a thief to support her struggling family, or Todoroki becoming a young villain assisted by, and alongside, Dabi (who he's aware is Touya) as rebellion against Endeavor's abuse.

The stories go on and on.

Midoriya has a lot of the traits in this fic that other Villain AU versions of himself have. What's craziest about that is that he doesn't actually START to consider villainy as an option until he's wrongly labeled as one.

I'd say most of these kids are wrongly labeled as villains, though. And I think it's stupid to give kids that label so easily for simple things such as a dangerous hard to control quirk, a previous vigilante career, or knowing things or believing things hero society thinks they shouldn’t.

All their attempts to change their fate, or the way they’re perceived, are ingenious. I'll definitely be looking for more fanfictions with this premise.

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yugiohz · 22 days

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OK TAKE TWO I don’t wanna start disk horse on your main but what are your thoughts on endhawks?

i don't like it, not because of the age gap idc about that but because the father-son desires make it very weird, hawks has been clinging to endeavor since he was 5 and he's also the foil of endeavor's son and endeavor calls him a kid because that man is his children's age etc etc. the father and son issues are too real and in your face with these two there's sm layers

#it's not grooming but it is weird #and i guess people can explore that in ficiton like hawks is just weird #but as a haha sexy yaoi ship no #i dont like it when people turn parental abuse and resulting issues into a joke or bad yaoi no offense #hawks is weird about endeavor but endeavor is pretty normal towards hawks like it's a weird asymmetry #hawks can fuck other older men idc #asks

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heyyallitssatan · 2 months

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I have made a fic

Theres the ao3 link if you want it, and the fics under the cut

She was always cold these days.

Frozen limbs, a sheen of frost always coating rarely uncovered skin.

It used to hurt, being so cold all the time, but it didn’t anymore. She didn’t feel it anymore, she didn’t feel much of anything anymore. All her emotions, frozen over, a thick layer of ice exacting them, never to be released.

It hadn’t always been like this. Once, she felt things freely, she felt her hands and toes and her lips weren’t permanently purple.

But that was before, before her mother burned her baby brothers face, before she was dragged off to a mental hospital kicking and screaming, before she gave her life to her brothers, before she became the mother hers could never be, before her life became theirs. But most of all, it was before Touya, her other half, her twin, her warmth, died in a blaze that left behind only a too small jaw bone.

Now was different, now was now, and now she was always too cold.

Her toes were the first to go, probably, but her fingers were the first she noticed.

It had been a year since Touya’s death, she was pouring her father tea when she dropped the pot and broke the cup. Her hands were numb, they always were since that night, and she couldn’t keep a hold of it. She was scolded, and disciplined, for her mistake. She spent hours relearning ho to hold a tea pot so that it didn’t matter if she could feel it or not.

It was almost a full year later when she realised it was her hands and feet she couldn’t feel anymore, she could move them, feel the movement, but she couldn’t feel touch, or warmth, or anything but that numbing cold climbing up her arms and legs.

She stopped using her quirk to do things after that, vowed against it, but it didn’t help. Frost slipped from her numb fingers to crystallise on her glass, her socks froze to the tatami mats of their home, and she didn’t notice.

She learned to watch her hands, and her feet, wherever she went, making sure she kept a fight hold of her quirk.

Her breath was next. She didn’t notice until Natsuo mentioned that her breath was clouding by her mouth, just too cold for the air. She checked, and realised her lips had turned purple at some point, nothing extreme, just a tint to her lips that wasn’t quite natural. She realised her skin had taken on an unnatural blush. She was sixteen when she started wearing make up.

She was twenty now, and the numbing cold had climbed up her arms and legs. Everything below mid thigh and shoulder was numb now. She had taken to always wearing thick covering clothes. She wore thick pants and long skirts no matter the weather. Sweaters and long sleeve blouses in the middle of summer. She had always been cold natured, no one noticed.

No one noticed, until she started wearing gloves. They were nice, expensive, and specially made to keep out the cold. If they could keep it out, they could keep it in. People noticed, gloves were too weird, but she was always cold, maybe it was okay.

She couldn’t keep her hands from frosting over anymore, and they always looked a bit blue, she thought that was more worrisome than gloves.

She was right.

She had taken to the hottest showers she could get, and when that wasn’t enough to warm her limbs, she went further. She had the body for a fire quirk, the heat couldn’t hurt her. She started boiling water in the middle of the night, when everyone else was long since asleep, it wasn’t like she could join them anymore. She was always careful to take the kettle of the stove before it could squeal, she cared infinitely more that her brothers got enough sleep than if she got warm. She’d finally take her gloves off, and pour the water over her hands in the sink, fill a small tub to set her feet in, all the while rising steam warmed her lungs.

It was as close as she could get to being warm again. It was as close as she could get to Touya again. Though, she supposed his body was just as cold as hers now. Those were dark thoughts, thoughts she only gave voice to on late nights like these, when no one was around to see the tears freeze to her waterline.

She was always cold, always numb, but she could still feel some things. Love for her brothers, all of them, was the first thing on that list, and sometimes the only thing.

Tonight was one of those times, when she was watching her Father and her baby brother fighting Touya. That was Touya, he was alive. He was alive.

That was all she could think about, he was alive. She lost control of the frost, it was covering the floor her feet were on, the couch she was sat on, little bits of it had started creeping up Natsuo.

She didn’t notice until he yelled at the cold. What did he know about the cold?

For the first time in a long time, her ice cracked.

She couldn’t bring herself to care that he was a villain, she couldn’t care about all the people he’d killed in the process, she couldn’t even herself to care that he’d attacked their Father.

She cared that he’d attacked Shoto of course, but that could be addressed later, after she’d seen him in person, confirmed it was really him, that he was really alive.

She never let herself consider it before, not even in the dead of night when no one was around to see the tears that never fell, it was the only thought she could never let herself give a voice to.

But it was true, he was here, he was alive.

He was gone again.

He left after the stunt, as quickly as he came. But she knew he was alive now, she found him once, she could find him again.

She hated her Father most of the time, deep down under cracking ice that let thoughts like that seep through now, but she couldn’t argue that his connections were helpful, and so was his money. She could afford to pay them to help her, and then to pay them again to keep silent. She couldn’t tell anyone what she was doing, Father would be so angry, and so would Natsuo. She didn’t know how Shoto and Rei would react, but she couldn’t risk that they’d tell the others, she had to do this alone. But what else was new.

She found him easy enough, about two weeks later. It was easy enough she didn’t think he was really hiding anymore. If he didn’t want to be found he wouldn’t have, he proved that many many years ago.

She sent him a message, through a hired hand, telling him to meet her at a nearby cafe, one considered neutral ground, where heroes and villains and vigilantes could meet without worrying about sides and fights. It was safe for them.

He met her there, he expected she’d been the one to send the message, the only one who would’ve wanted to meet him, the only one brave enough, even if she never saw herself that way.

He saw her, sitting at a little two person table with a coffee in hand. She drank too much coffee when they were younger, after Rei was taken, and he can’t imagine she dropped the habit, and if the shaking of her hands is any indication, it’s only gotten worse.

He sat down next to her, and she stared at him for a minute, not saying a word, but she didn’t smile at him, not a rare real smile that she showed only in the safest most vulnerable moments, not even the fake smile she used to placate Enji and calm Natsuo and Shoto. They never noticed, never noticed that that smile didn’t make her eyes twinkle quite the same, didn’t make her nose scrunch up just a bit. It fooled everyone else, but he had been there since she was born, he grew up with that smile, and he knew the difference.

Now she only watched him, and him her. She pushed a coffee toward him, and he broke his gaze just long enough to take a sip. He judged her coffee habit, but he wasn’t much better, at least when they younger, and she knew his order by heart.

That wasn’t his order, at least not his old one, rather it was closer to his order now. A White Russian, and it looked like she was sipping on the same.

“Since when do you drink?”

“Since Shoto and Natsu left and it’s just me and dad in the house.”

He huffed a humourless laugh, and so did she. Frosty breath fogged in front of her as she did, and that’s when he took note of the thick sweater, and winter pants, and gloves, all in the middle of August.

He was always hot, and honestly he was itching to get out of the meagre layers he was in now. He didn’t know why she was wearing so many thick layers, sure she was always cold, but he was pretty sure she was never ‘parka in summer’ cold. When he said as much she just huffed another laugh and shrugged.

He grabbed her hand, and she flinched, and that almost hurt, but it wasn’t the flinch of a civilian who just got grabbed by an S rank villain, it was the flinch of an abused little girl that hadn’t expected anyone to touch her. Scratch that, it hurt worse.

He wasn’t a family man, he hated Rei for abandoning them, He hated Enji for obvious reasons, he didn’t quite hate Shoto, but he was certainly angsty that he replaced him, and at best he felt indifference towards Natsuo. For some reason, he could never find it in himself to hate Fuyumi. Even at the lowest, when he hated the entire world, he couldn’t hate her. He could only remember how she patched his wounds, cooled his burns, loved him through everything, despite everything. He didn’t have room in his charred heart to live anymore, but she was spilling over with it, love for her brothers, her students, anyone who walked through their home. She even found it in herself to love some part of their parents, a part long gone, but she remembers it, loves it.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever be that strong, that brave. He left, he was a coward. But she stayed, protected her brothers, took care of them, carried the burdens of her family all alone.

He was built for the cool calm of the ice, but he got fire.

She watched him closely, her brother, Touya, Dabi, she didn’t care what his name was now, he was her brother, and he was alive.

She saw how his skin was stapled together, skin grafts and burns patched together. It almost looked like her first attempt at quilting, before she realised she was better at crochet. It was ugly and uneven, but she loved it anyway.

She saw the heat that radiated from his skin, a heat she had felt when they were young, heat that warmed her too cold skin, that fought the frostbite that threatened to over take her at every turn, when she couldn’t control her quirk as well. She missed that heat, until it grabbed her hand, warmth seeping through her glove.

She flinched, and she saw the hurt that crossed his face. She never meant to abuse that look, never meant to hurt him. She wasn’t scared of him, how could she be?

He was her brother, even after everything, he was still that. And she loved her brothers so much. More than herself.

She loved Touya, she loved that he could get angry. He could show his anger in ways she couldn’t, he was free and expressive in a way she couldn’t be. Her thoughts and feelings were numbed, hidden under layers of ice, but not his. They burned hot and bright and he made you see them, see him.

She wished she could be so visible.

But he cracked her ice, with each day she saw the breaks get wider, deeper, and things started leaking out. Her hatred for their father, something she buried so deep inside she could never feel more than the barest irritation at him, a super volcano hidden beneath the ice, ready to explode.

She doesn’t think she’ll ever be so strong as to let herself blow up, not like him. She wishes she could.

She was built for raging fire, but she got ice.

He grabbed her hand, much to both of their surprise. He pulled off her glove, and she let him. He winced at the sight of her hand, cold and pale. She was watching him, holding her hand so gently in his, but she didn’t react.

“I can feel it,” she whispered, like she feared if she spoke any louder it would stop, like she only knew how to speak softly and calmly, but her face betrayed nothing. She had schooled her expression into blank calm so long ago it seemed she had forgot how to make anything else.

“What?”

He sounded angry, his voice always sounded angry, burnt thought scratching against his vocal cords, matching his permanently scowling face, made that way through surgeries or circumstance, no one knew.

“I can feel your hand, it’s warm,” her voice finally expressed something besides soft and calm observation, something akin to awe, surprise maybe?

She hadn’t felt warmth, or anything really, in her hands in so long, she couldn’t remember it.

He seemed to understand, he knew how her quirk worked as well as she did, and he knew what it felt like to use his quirk without her there, burning from the inside out. He imagined freezing was similar, her nerves were dead, just like his.

She felt his heat bleed into her hand at the same time it seemed as though the cold seeped into his.

They sat like that for only a moment, before it began to hurt. Permanent frostbite meant permanent numbness, and as she warmed up for the first time in years she could finally feel the pain that followed numbness. She knew he felt the same.

It had been too long, they had been without their balance too long, and now it hurt too much to go back.

They sat for awhile, but they didn’t say much, there’s was too much to say, too many years to relive, but nothing felt important enough to say.

Fuyumi knew she wouldn’t stop his goals, she didn’t try. He knew he couldn’t get her to come with him, he didn’t try. They should’ve tried.

They left, unfinished drinks still sitting on the table.

They didn’t say goodbye, they didn’t say anything. They just walked away, in opposite directions. Neither of them favoured literature, neither of them ever read Orpheus’ story, neither of them had ever learned his lesson.

They both turned around, wanting just one last glimpse of their sibling, their twin, their balance, before they left for good, before this became their new before.

They turned, and looked, and ran.

They hugged, the only ones who could touch each other with freezing or burning, the only ones immune to the pain the other lives everyday with. They couldn’t hug for long, their balance wasn’t right anymore, it hurt too much, too many jagged edges cutting against each other, two extremes that never should have met, but never could have left each other alone.

They hugged, it hurt, they didn’t stop.

They whispered, in equally trained voices, with equally drilled expressions, each others names, the only names they ever really felt like they owned.

“Ya-nii”

“Yu-nee”

Then, after a moment longer, they pulled apart, blood evaporating on skin, tears freezing on waterlines, they turned and left. And they both smiled, as close to the real smiles they wore as kids as they thought they would ever get again.

Touya wasn’t made for love, he was made for rage, clawing at his throat until he let it out.

Touya wasn’t made for love, but maybe there was an exception.

Fuyumi wasn’t made for rage, she was made for love, care and protection overflowing from her like the tears she couldn’t shed.

Fuyumi wasn’t made for rage, but the cracks were growing, and lava lived beneath her ice.

They were polar opposites, one left and the other stayed. One killed, the other saved. One burned, the other froze. But they were cut from the same cloth, a cloth woven of love and rage, and when you looked closely, ice burns as bright as fire.

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problemswithbooks · 11 months

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You’re really asking why enji is homophobic in many fics? Most of his haters, especially the most vocal ones are projecting their own abusers onto him like crazy. He’s either homophobic or a violent drunk in the fics, and Touya is a protective, loving big brother, basically a saint. Their own version leaks into the canon too and it alters the general perception of both characters for many of their readers or followers too. It’s just how it is

I mean, in fics I get it and even if i don't like it, it's fine. Fics need conflict and Enji's a good antagonist for any Shoto romance fic. People write fic for any number of reasons so if they want to project and work through their own abusive father's homophobia through Enji they're more than welcome to. It's their fic and their expiration.

What I find more frustrating and understand les is the random short tumblr posts that crop up every once in a while that state for a fact that Enji would be homophobic or force Shoto into a marriage for strong grand-kids with zero evidence to back those claims up. The same can be said for when people try and blame Enji for Shoto and Touya insulting heteromorphs.

Maybe it's because I don't read fics that often, but I've never had an issue discerning between fanon in fics and canon material. And I'd never assert something as fact/ a theory without proof to back it up.

I get that people don't like Enji and for people that already hate him reading him as negatively as possible is always going to be the case. First impressions mean everything, and Enji's was of a horribly abusive asshole. It's hard for people to change their mind after that sort of introduction. The only reason I changed my mind of him was because I enjoy that kind of story.

But I just wish people would take the time to actually think a little before compiling every single bad thing a person can do/be and shove onto a character they hate as if it's fact. For a story, fine--I won't read it but, fic isn't meta and it's not always true that the author believes everything they write. OOC fic is a thing and sometimes you just need a character to get in the way of your ship for angst. But for a character analysis it's sloppy.

#ask #bnha #todoroki enji #endeavor #also it's frustrating because it really seems like people think if someone was one fucked up belief it means they have this other bad belie #and that if a person/character does a wrong thing they no longer deserve sympathy #like how I saw someone say it was toxic to say that it might be Rei that taught Shoto and Touya to insult heteromorphs #personally I think those insults were crafted before Hori decided they were a huge deal/side plot #and should be ignored as if they didn't happen (that's clearly how he's written them going forward)#but if you pretend it did happen and is a big deal #than it makes more sense that it comes from Rei #Neither parent insult heteromorphs #but Rei raised the kids more than Enji did (that's his main fault)#Shoto hates Enji and tries to be the exact opposite of him however he can so it'd make sense he'd follow Rei's example more than Enji's #and now we know Rei came from a racist family which means she probably learned some of that discrimination from them growing up #but that idea is seem as toxic because ...why?#she's clearly not animal people racist now #and even if she still was #what happened to her was still wrong and she deserves sympathy #her being racist doesn't mean it was fine that Enji abused her #it doesn't mean she doesn't love her kids #yet it's not toxic to say Enji made his kids racist....because?#he's already a bad person?#like idk how to tell you that sometimes a bad person can have a positive or neutral trait #the least racist person can still abuse their kids #the two aren't connected in anyway

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rentfreeaus · 6 months

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AUs that live in my head rent free #1

Bakugo going to sign language class because of his quirk, when he’s like 5

he meets a girl who's the only other kid his age whos mute

they grow up together and she midigates his toxic behavior

turns out she’s a todoroki and shoto’s twin

she’s an author and a genius so she doesnt go to school

so when its bring your sibling to school day at ua shoto brings his twin shiya

alot of class 1a girls like her books

when shiya and bakugo see each other they start signing like madmen

he asks how her next book is going using her authour sudonym or smthng like that

she just smiles and gives a thumbs up

then goes back to writing in her motebook

#bakugou katsuki #oc #bhna #lgbtqia #Endeavor’s bad parenting

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lookotherway · 2 years

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Toga's mishandling by the adults around her led to her impulses driving her to murder says a Toga fan. Toga's fanbase is trying to convince the adults including her parents are at fault. The only adults at fault is her league of villain friends and All for One who encourage her bad habits. Her fans need to stop putting themselves in her shoes and grow some muscle and spine and do something about confronting their problematic situations they are facing in front of them in reality.

i seriously think all of toga fans who're trying to shift toga's issues onto the adult characters are actually minors, or at least never brought a mirror. the fact that they manage to pull such kind of excuse and determine on it only proves that either they have comprehension problem or they never reflect their faults irl.

did the adult mishandling toga at her young age? maybe? the thing is toga wasn’t anyone special. no adult and no one besides her parents had to be responsible for whatever issues plaguing toga, even the quirk counselling since it: 1, built for the general, which of course there’ll always be some cases it cannot completely assist, 2, requires the cooperation from both sides, which i’m not surprised if toga didn’t cooperate with the counsellors or the teachers. toga didn’t even think she had a part wrong in the inhibition from her parents, (i’m not asking it in the young little toga, but in the fifteen, sixteen, seventeen toga. she held the resentment throughout the years and smart enough to know exactly what she resents, yet she couldn’t spare a gram of brainpower for two-way thinking) why would she listen to the counsellor’s advices and reflect herself?

toga’s parents, indeed mishandled her. but “mishandled” in the mean that they managed toga ineffectively, like most Asian parents i guess. not “manipulate roughly or carelessly“ like google defines it.

i, or the intellectuals i followed, believe that, as parents, if you can’t stop your child from doing something, then you should guide your child to do it safely and lawfully. but that’s the advanced conception of the current generation. my parents’ generation and older either didn’t know it or didn’t believe in it. and no one holds they to account for it because even if my parents, and their parents didn’t do perfect in handling us during out childhood, we still understand and seek to understand their actions. and they had their circumstances, as well as we had our faults.

now back to toga’s parents, that’s why i didn’t note on it before. i saw their reactions very human, because they didn’t react to toga’s behavior wrongly.

like, the action/behavior has to be wrong in one way or another for the parents to prohibit and it’s not necessarily illegally, it could be morally wrong. that’s human instinct, see something wrong and instantly try to stop it from affecting themself. and the thing is even if MHA society has evolved with all kind of people with all kind of appearances and all kind of personalities, its order is still based on the most basic order of a quirkless society, as well as its morality, its common sense and behavior. toga’s behavior, no matter what society, what era, will always be the behavior of an animal. it cannot be due to her quirk, because unless it required her to consume blood in order to live, then it’s still an urge, an addiction, an impulse, maybe more, a primitive instinct; and after million years of evolution if a human subdues to it and harms innocent things, then that human is wrong.

tell me, what kind of parent didn’t react negatively to their child harming animal and taking pleasure from such hideous action?

not to meation toga was around three or four when her parents first reacted that way. it seems that toga never shared thoughts with her parents. she pretended to be normal during her school years and perhaps that’s why her parents thought their prohibition had succeeded, that the counselling had worked, that toga had dropped such vulgar behavior, and that’s why they didn’t think of bringing grist to her mill.

toga’s parents, indeed, mishandled toga. but it definitely, absolutely not their fault only. it’s a chain of misfortune and miscommunication, much like the todorokis. sympathize to it? sure, go on. but stop using it to excuse homicide. no fucking misfortune and miscommunication should be used to excuse murdering over selfish, self-centered reasons.

#ask #bnha #anti toga #i think this post went longer than we expected #i think it went from hating toga to explaining her parents' reaction #i'm sorry it's too long #well toga's parents definitely not as bad as endeavor #let's hope that no one will use this to put words in my mouth

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originalbastard · 1 year

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I really need someone, preferably Deku or Bakugo, to deck Endeavor KO style yelling how much of a piece of shit he is after he says some bullshit during his so called redemption arc.

Because here’s the thing, this narrative around abuse is so common and so fucked up when you see it in this perspective. Todoroki suffered years of physical abuse, mental conditioning, and isolation SINCE HE WAS AN INFANT till he got to UA. Do you think Todoroki was at peak snark when he lived homeschool style with Endeavor. Hell no, he was trying to fucking survive. He had (and still doesn’t) know how fucked up his childhood was. He gains confidence in having human interactions beyond his family for the first time in his life and his father says he’s sorry?? He’s sorry for abuse he was still doing less than 12 months ago??? The career pressures he’s still forcing into his son that LITERALLY drove Touya insane. Todoroki doesn’t want to forgive him. But when he starts to, everyone is applauding him. So it must be what he’s supposed to be doing. Maybe he was just overreacting. But the thing is, no one but Endeavor and Shouto actually knows what happened. He was isolated for his family and the world. It’s not possible for them to know the full extent of it. So when everyone applauds an abuse victim for forgiving their abuser, they have no idea what they are saying it was okay for abuser to do to them. So I really need someone to punch Endeavor in the face and make sure Shouto feeling fucking valid in his pain.

#bnha todoroki #todoroki shouto #endeavors bad parenting #tw ab*se #my hero acedamia

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sylvanfreckles · 17 days

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Rating: T Warnings: child abuse, child endangerment, gaslighting Spoilers: None

Summary:

It's been twenty-four hours since Todoroki's rescue, but he still has a long recovery ahead of him. Which is only compromised when he faces new setbacks that threaten his physical and mental health.

His body was more damaged than they realized...and Endeavor won't give up without a fight.

But neither will Aizawa. And if he's the only thing that can stand between his student and the hell of his former life...then so be it.

(@whumpril day 7: hesitation)

#whumpril2024 #whumprilday7 #hesitation #my hero academia #fic #dadzawa #endeavor's bad parenting

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hannieehaee · 4 months

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WANTED U

18 + / mdi

summary: everything about your relationship with minghao was perfect, leaving you with no complaints. except maybe in one area: minghao's stoic attitude during sex, making you entirely insecure about whether he wanted you as bad as you did him, or if he was maybe just too in love with you to let you down.

content: misunderstandings, established relationship, he's very very in love with reader, he's just a bit backwards, smut, afab reader, miscommunication (shocker), oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, dry humping, mentions of fingering, etc.

wc: 5.7k

a/n: based kind of maybe a lil bit on personal experience but 100% reimagined for fanfic purposes lmao

masterlist | kofi/patreon

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You were absolutely head over heels in love with your boyfriend. There was no way to fight it - not that you wanted to. It was as if his sole goal in life was to love you. He had even told you that before, claiming that his parents had been the greatest love story he had ever seen, and that he had wanted nothing more in life than to find a love like theirs. He'd said that his father had once told him, 'live to love, and love to live', advice which Minghao took to heart.

His father was a wise man when it came to love, even letting Minghao in on the secret that all his ambitions were driven by his love for his mother. Minghao had communicated their entire love story to you soon after meeting. You had only known each other for a short period of time before Minghao confessed to you, claiming that a friendship would not suffice for his heart, which had been taken by you upon your first meeting. He would've respected your decision if you had decided to remain friends, but was relieved to hear your enthusiastic agreement in becoming his girlfriend.

Being his girlfriend came with endless perks. For one, you got to be with the absolute love of your life; a man who was never shy to express his love to you through any means possible. He was also a successful idol, something that came with its troubles, but allowed you to see and support your boyfriend in all his passionate endeavors. He'd spend every free moment tending to you and showing you what it meant to be loved. There was no world in which you weren't completely enamored by the man.

You'd only been dating for four months by now. He had already introduced you to his friends and family, proudly letting them know that you'd be around for a long time, being completely certain that you were the love of his life. Sure, it might've been a bit soon, but the moment Minghao saw you, he knew you were the one. His certainty always made you a bit shy, a reaction which he'd kiss away by reassuring you that he'd never meet a love greater than yours. It was all perfect. You felt at home with his friends and family, quickly growing used to what would now be your forever family, as you also believed Minghao to be the one and only love you would ever come to know.

He showed you love through every means possible. He insisted on taking care of you financially, while also supporting your independent and professional endeavors. He took care of you emotionally, always lending an ear to listen to your problems and lips to soothe your worries. He'd constantly feed you with words of affirmation, almost as if he'd grow sick if he went a single day without you knowing how enamored he was. He'd make love to you ... and that was it on that matter.

Not to misunderstand, your sex life with Minghao was magnificent. There was no form of pleasure the man could not achieve to give you. He had you delirious with arousal with one single touch, making you beg even when he never demanded it from you. As many of his fans guessed, Minghao was just as experienced as he appeared. There was large variety of things he would entertain in the bedroom, never leaving you dissatisfied.

The issue laid in you, truly. Although you were always enthusiastic in the pleasure your boyfriend gave you, you weren't sure you could say it was the same for him. He would always shower you with endless praise and affection in every other circumstance, but while in the throes of passion the most you could really get out of him was a few muffled groans or one or two short-lived praises. You felt as if there was a imbalance in the pleasure you gave one another; almost as if he didn't want you as much as you did him.

You had recently realized that you were often the one to begin any sexual encounter, never having to beg for reciprocation, but also very rarely being enticed by the man himself. You almost felt embarrassed at the realization, having already been feeling a bit off at his lack of reactions towards you during the fact. Was he simply entertaining you out of pity? Did it not feel as good for him? Was he not into you physically as he was emotionally? You knew he always came when being intimate with you, always letting out a lone groan of your name when he finished. It was still hard to feel confident about your sex appeal when your boyfriend never gave you much to work with. You also felt a bit pathetic knowing he gave you the utmost pleasure while you seemingly gave him the barest minimum of it.

Talking to him about it was out of the question. You knew your boyfriend thrived off of healthy communication, but he hadn't mentioned any issues in your sex life, so you felt embarrassed to bring it up. Not only that, but you didn't want to come off as desperate or ungrateful. He was your best friend; the perfect boyfriend. You didn't want to open a can of worms that would have things go awry. So you decided to come up with a plan; maybe test your hypothesis.

Getting Minghao undressed and ready to fuck you was never too difficult. Just a few kisses and whispers asking him to please take care of you and he was ready to take charge. Currently you were in the middle of it, sitting on the couch as he kissed your neck, pulling breathy sighs out of you as you moaned his name, but received no reaction in return. You decided to act as usual, maybe gauge what got him going and what didn't. So far, he had spoken no words as he simply did what he knew you liked. He ran his hands through your body and kissed you deeply, drawing moans and whines out of you at the simplest of touches.

You felt a bit embarrassed, realizing how easy it was for him to get you going while it was the complete opposite for him. Now on the bed, he ground against you, still making no sound or any other indication of pleasure as he thrusted his hardness against you. You wondered how that felt for him. He was hard, so surely he was aroused, right? Shouldn't that equal some type of pleasurable reaction to the feeling? You weren't able to ponder on this for long, as he suddenly knelt next to bed, going straight to business against your heat.

"H-hao ... fuck!", you pulled at his hair, extremely sensitive to his touch as you usually were.

You couldn't help yourself in pulling at his hair, even grinding against his skilled tongue. You were completely lost to the bliss, moaning endlessly at the pleasure, unlike your boyfriend, whose only sounds were the slick of his tongue dragging against your pussy. If the tables were turned and Minghao was growing delirious on the feeling of your mouth on him, you'd be just as affected, getting off on the sound of his voice moaning out your name. So, you couldn't help but still feel disappointed at him eating you out with no further reaction.

However, the feeling of your orgasm overtook your disappointment, making you forget about any ill feelings and cumming against his tongue. What followed made you hollow out again, though.

He got up from his knelt position, nodding at you and asking a simple, "ready?" before undoing his pants and climbing on top of you, entering you immediately after putting on a condom.

You moaned and whined against his ear, scratching at his back at the pleasure; all things you usually did when he fucked you, but received no reaction in return. He'd give you the occasional muffled grunt, not even seeming like he was holding back, but more like he had nothing to give. It was a conflicting feeling. On one hand, you felt an insane amount of physical pleasure, but on the other, your emotions couldn't help but feel hurt by his lack of arousal towards you. Call you shallow, but you just wanted to feel like your boyfriend found you sexy, damnit!

"F-fuck, Hao! Gonna cum, don't stop. Shit!", it was easy for him to get you there, knowing all your weak spots by now. And it was just as easy for your body to take control of your mind, making you forget all worries as you came once again. He didn't take long to reach you, releasing into the condom with a grunt.

What made it worse was how sweet he was afterwards, calling you his beautiful girl and helping you clean up, only to cuddle you afterwards.

"You okay, my love? Felt good?"

Now, to any reasonable person, this would've been the perfect chance to speak up, maybe let him know about your concerns, but you just felt too pathetic. What were you supposed to do? Force your boyfriend to moan? Force him to give you the reactions you wanted rather than the ones that came naturally from him? You were supposed to accept him as he was, just like he did you. So, you responded with evasion.

"Yes, baby. Felt amazing. Love you."

You decided to go for a different approach this time.

Within the few months that you and Minghao had dated, you had really only spent a little under two months physically around each other. His job had a tendency of pulling him away from you for extended periods of time, so you were lucky if you ever got a whole week with him. This meant that the two of you would always try to make the best of the time you did get to spend together.

Within those two months of physical proximity, you two had a healthy sex life. You had sex for the first time only two weeks into the relationship, then proceeding to have it very regularly after that. Although, you were usually the one to initiate it.

In order to change things up, you decided to stop. You wanted to see how long it would take Minghao to approach you himself. Maybe gauge what it'd be like if you suddenly took it away. Would he react then? Would it feel better for him if you allowed a short period of time for things to mellow out?

The answer was no.

Only three days after your previous time having sex, he came home from dance practice, greeting you with a kiss. Except that instead of pulling away, he kept your lips connected, grabbing onto your waist to pull you close to him. Things went pretty much as usual after that. No words were exchanged (at least not from his side of things) as he undressed you and entered you while laying on the couch.

It was insanely pleasurable as per usual. His pace was slower than normal, and you heard a few more muffled grunts, which excited you like crazy.

"H-hao ..." you couldnt help but sigh as he angled himself perfectly to hit that sensitive spot inside you. You scratched at his back, arching your back against his chest.

He made no response, only going faster as he clearly realized your end was coming. He held you close to him, caressing your body tenderly despite the rapid movement of his hips. It was all perfect, sans the thing you wanted most; his lust for you. He cleaned you up afterwards, sheepishly apologizing for jumping you with no warning, giving you a quick peck as he said it. The conversation regarding sex ended there, with him expanding about his day and you yours. Had this been progress? You weren't sure.

Next attempt felt a bit pathetic.

You looked amazing. You needed no confirmation, you just knew it. You had bought a pretty lacy number, exactly in a style you knew your boyfriend would like. You hadn't had a chance so far to really dress up for him yet. So far, you had worn pretty panties and matching bras while being sexually active with him, but there had been no instance in which you really pulled out a whole set for him.

It felt a bit silly, resorting to perfectly trimmed lace in order to see if maybe your boyfriend would show some lust towards you. You even lit some candles, for god's sakes. This had to work, or else you'd feel like the biggest loser alive. You were a bit anxious, to be honest. You had never dressed up for a guy, but you'd heard it worked wonders in the bedroom. You knew the sex itself would be amazing, but you hoped that everything else also lived up to standard.

It wasn't long until you heard the keys unlock the door, which signaled that you should put into position. You had a matching silk robe, throwing it on as if to hide Hao's gift under a perfectly tied knot. He hadn't noticed you upon entering the room, having to do a double take to take notice of your pretty hair and makeup, way too fancy for an usual occasion.

"Love? W-what's with the look? You look beautiful," he approached you with a sweet smile, arms going directly to your waist

"Just wanted to do a little something for you, Hao. Do you like it?"

"Of course, angel. You look so pretty. Is there anything under the robe?", he lifted his eyebrow at you, hands playing with the knot.

"Find out?", you wanted to give him free rein, wanting to once more gauge his reaction. This was all for research purposes, after all.

"Oh ... Baby, you didn't have to do this ... You look gorgeous ..." he breathed out upon undoing the tie on the robe, immediately pushing it off as he ran his hands up and down your body. Yes, this was a good start. An amazing start, actually. He wanted you? That had been just your goal. His breathy sigh? God, that had you reeling.

He seemed to get distracted by the sight of your body being hugged by the expensive fabric, but eventually snapped out of it, shaking his head as if to get himself out of a trance. He kissed you after that, no longer paying any mind to the lingerie, nor to his previous reaction to you. He kissed and kissed you, same as he always did. Your moans against his lips fell to deaf ears, as he did not reciprocate with more moans of his own. You kissed him back, unable to not match his enthusiasm in making love to your lips.

What had just happened? You were going in the right track! He had suddenly just snapped himself out of it, basically willing the lust away. Had he wanted to hold back on purpose? Did you just need to incite him?

You let him kiss you for a while before gesturing for him to kiss down your neck, playing up your moans a bit and pushing your chest towards him. Eventually you placed his hands on your chest, now being a bit more direct.

"H-hao ... Do you like it? Did I do good?", okay, now you were a bit more embarrassed. You had never really delved into dirty talk with Minghao, much less submissive speech. There had never been a need since the man had no tendency to speak during sex at all - sans the times he'd check up on you. You hoped maybe he would react well to it.

"Yes, angel. You're perfect. Let me take care of you now, yeah?"

That was code for be quiet and let me get to business. Or at least that's how you took it. You were disheartened, but allowed him to continue, still enjoying his touch regardless of anything. You appreciated the compliments, but you did not feel sexy anymore. What you were feeling could better be described as childish and dejected. You felt like you'd shown a desperate side of yourself only to be met with nothing in return.

Your thoughts faded away the moment he began to drag his thigh between your legs, quickly drawing moans and cries of his name out of you. Was it that hard for him to do the same? What more did you need to do?

Logically, it didn't take him long to make you cum. You came in your lace panties, still earning a groan out of him upon feeling your cunt spasm against his bare thigh.

"Hmm, baby. Looked so pretty today ... Are you okay? Need me to clean you up?", he gave you a sweet kiss, running his hands up and down your sides in a caring manner.

"I'm fine, Hao, thank you. I, uh, what about you? Are you ... ?"

"I'm fine, baby. Don't worry about it," he smiled at you despite the obvious boner concealed by his shorts, "Get changed, angel. You'll get sticky and cold."

And that was it once again. Your outfit had given you a favorable reaction, but it died off quicker than you expected. You were back to square one all over again.

You had one final plan. If this didn't give you answers, you weren't sure how to proceed from there.

What if you pulled a 'Minghao' on Minhhao? Would he react if you suddenly became stoic while in his arms? It felt disingenuous, and the mere thought honestly made you feel a little mean, but you had grown desperate by now. It had been months of amazing sex that you were sure was gratifying only to you.

Next time you and Minghao found yourselves in that mood, you decided to lay pliant in his arms; not react to his touches and movements the way you usually would.

It was weird, not letting him know how much you loved his touch. You kissed him back, even held him back too, but your mouth was silent, as was your body. He kissed down your neck, soft hands touching at every corner that usually had your eyes rolling back, but you persisted. There were no reactions out of you, only muffled groans just like his own. You felt some hesitance in his touches, sometimes pausing as he didn't get the desired effect from his actions. He didn't vocalize his concerns, however, only continuing his path as he fingered you. His lips never left your skin as he worked you through your first orgasm.

It had been a feat, truly. The feeling of his lips against your skin was enough to have you mewling for more. His fingers curling inside you usually had you whining his name, but this time the most you could allow yourself to muster was muffled or broken cries as he drew you to completion. Even then he didn't question you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion with the question trapped between his lips. He moved on to undo his pants, prepping you a bit before sliding inside you. He let out the lone moan he always did upon sliding through you, but made no further noise.

You were going insane, toes curling and body completely tense, trying your hardest not to react. It wasn't just the pleasure, but your intense feelings for the man. The way he felt against you and gave you all his love through his touch. You felt like crying at the thought. Which is what you did without realizing. You couldn't help yourself. The love you had for your boyfriend was indescribable, even if you had been dating for so little. He felt the same, which was something he'd always let you know on the tender nights you'd spend sleeping in each other's arms. Right now, though, you felt like shit. It was hard for you to even enjoy his touch, which was a new experience for you.

Minghao must've noticed your cries, which had been louder than you realized, instantly halting his movements and checking on you.

"Angel? My love, what's wrong? Are you hurt?", he pulled away completely, still keeping his arms at your sides in an attempt to soothe you, but pulling his still hard cock out of you.

The sudden lack of proximity only made you cry louder, sniffling as you tried to catch your breath.

"Baby, tell me what's wrong, please. I'm so sorry, I didn't- I didn't mean to hurt you. Where does it hurt. How can I make it better?"

"Why- why don't you want me?", the question left your lips before you even realized, face heating up at your own words.

"What? Want you? What do you mean?"

There was still time to run it back, maybe make some type of excuse about why you'd been crying. But your emotions decided for you, not allowing your brain to formulate a lie before your mouth was opening again.

You took a quick breather, allowing yourself to catch your breath before responding. Minghao seemed to understand this, running his hand up and down your back in a soothing manner.

"I just ... I just don't understand. I love you, Minghao. I love you so much. I want you so much. Why don't you want me back? What do I need to do? I cant ... I can't keep doing this," you had stopped crying by then, but your emotions were still heightened.

"Love? I love you. What are you talking about? I'm in love with you, you know this. Please tell me what you mean? Tell me if you're hurt. I can't- I'd never want to hurt you."

He was now sitting right by you, your legs now closer while his hand came up to your cheek, wiping one of the last few tears remaining on your face. It made you feel like an asshole. He was being the amazing boyfriend you always knew him to be, reassuring you of bis affections while being worried for your wellbeing, not once stopping to care about himself. Meanwhile, you were crying because you wanted your boyfriend to feel lust for you. It was pathetic, really.

"I know you love me, Hao. You're the perfect boyfriend. I'm okay, I just ... fuck. I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry. I don't want you to worry about me, it's so stupid, I'm sorry, I-"

"Angel, please stop apologizing. Tell me what's wrong. You don't have to be embarrassed. I need to know what you're thinking so that we can talk through it, okay? I'd never judge you," he was sincere in his words, taking on a soft smile as he tried to welcome the idea of an open conversation about whatever was on your mind. It was now or never, you guessed.

You took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact at all costs, "I feel like ... I feel like you don't want me."

"Want you how, angel?"

"I've tried everything Minghao. I've pursued you, I've let you pursue me, I've been loud, I've been quiet. Fuck, I even threw myself at you with stupid lingerie that you didn't even care about, but it never works. You don't want me, and it's driving me insane. I'm sorry, I know it's so stupid. I don't want to- I don't want to force anything on you or make you feel uncomfortable, but I feel so, fuck, I feel so pathetic. Like you have sex with me just to humor me. Like you're giving me something and I have nothing to show in return. I'm so- I'm so sorry."

You weren't sure what you were apologizing for. It was either the embarrassment or the warm gaze that wouldn't leave your own as you rambled.

"My love ... You think- you think I don't want you?"

"You don't have to humor me, Minghao, I already know. I've made peace with it, it's just .. tonight was too much. I tried to keep my emotions out of it, but it only made me break faster."

"Oh, angel," he closed the gap, pulling you even closer to him as he put his palms on your cheeks, drawing you closer while looking into your eyes, thumbs caressing the skin there, "I think I owe you an apology."

"No!", you grabbed onto his wrists, interrupting him before he could continue and separating yourself in the same breath, knowing you could never speak your mind while he held you so lovingly, "You don't have to apologize for anything. I'm sorry. I should've never tried to pressure you, I did this to myself, I-"

"I need you to let me talk, angel, please. I need to explain myself."

"Oh. I- okay. Continue."

"I adore you, my love. You know this. To think that you could ever think I don't want you breaks my heart. It's all my fault, I should've never done this, I- I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I don't ache for you the way you do me. I want you in ways I can't describe."

"But-"

"Let me finish," his hands were back on you, one caressing your cheek while the other ran up and down your arm in an almost sensual manner, "You think I don't think about you every passing moment? That you don't plague my thoughts every day? My beautiful girl ... You're the prettiest thing I've ever had. Holding you in my arms as you writhe under me is the biggest form of pleasure I've ever felt. You- you think-" he took a deep breath before continuing, "You think I don't think about you on my lonely nights away from your touch? That I don't touch myself thinking of you; your curves, your soft skin, the way you cry my name ..."

"H-hao ..." your breath was just as heavy as his by now, mouth dry as you heard him recite his one and every emotion towards you.

"You think you don't plague my mind at the most inopportune moments?", he continued despite your interruption, "I think of you every day. When I'm at practice, when I'm performing, fuck, I think of you when I'm having dinner with my parents. Your body invades my every thought. You beautiful, gorgeous thing. I ... I've had to hold back. Didn't want to scare you away with the impossible lust I feel for you. Every time you let me have you, I have to hold back. I can never fully have you. I don't know what it'd do to me. I've wanted you from the moment we met. I've wanted to explore every inch of your body and make you mine. But your pleasure is my main priority. Always. As long as you're satisfied, I could never ask for more. But to think you ever believed I didn't want ache for you every passing moment pains me. I ... I want to .. Can I show you? Will you let me show you how badly I need you?"

"Please .. Fuck, Hao, please, I-"

He moaned the moment he finally connected your lips, hands going crazy at the way he squeezed and caressed every inch he could reach. His moans against your lips did not halt as you whined desperately at his kiss, relishing in the speech he had just delivered to you. What you were feeling was beyond lust at this point. You felt something you had never before, having waited months for your boyfriend to finally want you the way you did him. You weren't sure if he was playing it up for you, but you didn't want it to stop regardless.

"My love," he finally disconnected your lips, "Going to give you everything. Everything I've been holding back, I- I don't even know where to start."

His eyes could not stay in one place, darting around every inch of your nude body. You had known Minghao to be attracted to you, it was something he expressed many times, but you had never seen the calm man so frantic before. His calm nature was completely gone.

"You can do anything you want, Hao. Just, please ..."

He shut you up with yet another kiss, laying you down on the bed in the process. He dragged his dick against your cunt, groaning at the feeling. You were still drenched from your ruined orgasm from earlier, and he was hard due to your prior interruption, so it wasn't difficult to get the two of you ready for each other.

"Wanna be in you so badly, but .. Fuck, you just feel so good like this angel," he was grabbing onto your thighs by now, lifting them up in order to angle himself just right to drag his cock right against your clit. His eyebrows were furrowed and his face flushed. He was a broken version of himself, with his only purpose in mind being to bring the two of you the most pleasure imaginable. You felt like an idiot for never expressing your concerns to your boyfriend, not imagining that it'd end up so favorably for you. The pleasure you felt at his lack of self-control as he played with you couldn't compare to any previous time in which you'd made love.

He separated himself from you before either of you could come, muttering something along the lines of 'Wanna savor you, my love.' He still seemed frantic, not fully sure where he wanted to touch first or what part of you to enjoy at that moment. He went from kissing your chest to rubbing your pussy with his long fingers. He put you in all positions he could think of to kiss up and down your body, waxing poetic at you repeatedly as he sighed against your skin. The occasional times in which his cock would accidentally grace against you had you burning, wanting him inside you more than anything. Now that you knew he wanted you just as bad as you did him; now that he was fully yours.

"My beautiful girl ... Love you so much. The pleasure you bring me .. You have no idea. How could I ever let you think I didn't carry a torch for you night after night. Is this okay? Is it okay to want someone this badly? To ache for you day and night, only thinking of your touch?," he was finally facing you again, close enough to invade all your senses.

"Gonna have you now, okay, angel? Gonna show you how strongly I feel about you. How you make me lose all my inhibitions."

He entered you with no further warning, letting out the groan he always did, but this time his mouth would not stop running, moaning and sighing your name against your ear, letting you know how your cunt around him made him lose his mind.

"My most beautiful, girl ... fuck. Gonna break you ... I've held back for too long ... Need you every day," the way he was fucking you was nothing short of animalistic, with both his words and the slapping of your skin filling up the silence of the room.

"God, that day you showed up with that pretty set for me? Do you have any idea how difficult it was to not pin you against the wall and rip it off of you? Make you cry as you took all of me until every single drop of my cum was leaking from your cunt? The image has not left my mind for a single moment, angel. Can't think, shit ... Can't breathe without thinking of you," despite his insane dancer stamina, his breathing was becoming disheveled as he continued to piston into you.

You had thought that Minghao had already given you all types of pleasure throughout your relationship, but now that he had finally snapped you had truly reached heaven. And it seemed like it was the case for him too. He was unable to stop himself from telling you his every thought, with his emotions getting the best of him as he fucked into you almost animalistically. His fingers were bruising your thighs as he held you with all bis might; something you thought your soft and sweet Minghao was incapable of doing.

"Hao ... I need .. I'm gonna cum, Hao, please!"

"Yeah? Gonna let me have it, angel? Love when you cum for me. So soft and pretty, all for me. Cum, my love. Cum and I'll give you all of me in return."

The thought of his cum filling you up made you lose control, cumming as your back arched almost completely off the bed. You felt like you'd ascended, being given the most intense orgasm of your life, followed by a warm feeling inside you; the feeling of Minghao's essence penetrating you.

He almost fell on top of you as he finished, breath hot and heavy against your skin.

"My love? Are you okay? Was that too much?," it only took a few moments of silence for him to speak up, showing immediate concern for your limp and breathless state.

You had been more than okay, having never felt more loved and wanted in your life. From his words to his actions, Minghao had managed to make you realize how wrong you'd been all along. It wasn't that he didn't want you, but that he wanted you too much to hold back if given the chance to fully give himself to you. But now it was all out in the open. Now you could finally enjoy each other to the fullest extent.

"I'm okay, Hao. Thank you," you felt shy in the aftermath of it, now fully processing all the words of lust your boyfriend had whispered against your skin as he fucked you into the mattress. You had seen a side of Minghao you hadn't known existed.

"Are you sure? I didn't scare you off, did I?"

"Are you kidding? I've wanted you to do that for ages. I was going insane throwing myself at you!"

He chuckled, booping at your nose lovingly, "You were making my resolve break, my love. Wasn't sure how much longer I could go without going past my limit."

"Could've talked me through it at least once, you know. I wouldn't've objected," you humphed.

"How about I make up for it now, hmm? Let me clean you up in the shower?"

"Yeah? Gonna tell me how much you want me again?", you grinned against him.

"Yes, my angel. Every single day."

a/n: not proofread and i also had no idea how to end it my bad </3

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen #svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen smut #svt smut #minghao x reader #minghao smut #minghao fanfic #minghao imagines #the8 fanfic #the8 smut #the8 x reader #the8 imagines

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kvtie444 · 4 months

Text

° . ☆ MOONLIGHT

summary: good girl reader - bad boy bf chris sneaks in her room to see her :)

a/n: me writting a fluff is unheard off, this is so short lol, THIS IS SUCH A MATT SONG

warnings: fluff, kissing, suggestive, swearing, smoking

・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Christopher Sturniolo was truly testing my patience. Despite my deep affection for my boyfriend, he had a knack for getting under my skin. Chris was the embodiment of a ‘bad boy’ whereas, I was considered the epitome of innocence—a ‘good girl ‘through and through. Chris took pleasure in the thrill of coaxing me into mischievous endeavors.

On a school night, as I lay in bed rewatching my favorite show and diligently working on revision cards for upcoming exams, Chris was blowing up my phone, urging me to come see him. However, my commitment to studies held me captive. My concentration was abruptly shattered by a knock on the window, causing me to jolt and disrupt my writing. Another insistent knock followed, accompanied by a muffled voice. “Let me in, i’m fucking freezing out here”. It was Chris.

Sighing, I rose from my desk, pushing aside the curtains to reveal my boyfriend with a spliff between his teeth. “I’m studying” I say to him, he chuckled, “I just wanted to see my girl”. I rolled my eyes at him playfully before relenting, helping him inside. I feel the skin on his arm whilst helping him in, “Chris you’re freezing. And no smoking, if my parents catch you they’ll kill you” I scold softly. He ignored me as he is hands swiftly pulled me close, and he leaned down for a kiss. I pulled back, taking the joint from his lips and placing it on my desk.

Unfazed, Chris smirked, “You’re parents are asleep relax. You need to start living life on the edge more, baby”. Resuming my focus on studying, I walked back over to my bed and sat, despite the enticing distractions.

He laid next to me, just watching me for a minute before showering ghostly kisses along my neck. showering compliments and ethereal kisses along my jaw and neck. “You’re so pretty mamas” he mumbles against my skin. I gently pushed him away “I’m serious. I need to study” I sigh, "It's nearly 1 am. What more studying could you possibly fit in at this time? Come on, let me love up on you, ma," he pleaded, pressing a kiss below my ear, tenderly moving my hair aside.

"Chris," I sighed, his hand finding its way to my inner thigh, gripping it. "Give me 10 minutes," I negotiated. He smiled, before kissing my cheek and getting up, walking to my desk to retrieve his spliff. Seated at the window ledge, he lit up, taking hits of the joint. While I dedicated the next 10 minutes to my studies, he indulged in getting high, basically engaging in a conversation with himself since I was too focused to reply to him.

With my final revision card completed, a satisfied smile graced my lips. I packed up my study materials and approached the window, running my fingers through Chris's hair as he flicked the finished joint into the distance. His eyes, now tinged with a reddish glow, met mine with a contented smile.

Stepping toward me, he rose from the ledge. I leaned up, my hands finding his jaw as his sought my waist, our lips meeting in a fervent kiss. "Such a good girl," he mumbled against my lips. His hands explored beneath the back of my shirt, fingers brushing against bare skin, sending electrifying chills down my spine. My hands traced the contours of his chest and bicep, as his hands descended to my hips.

Our intimate moment met an abrupt interruption - a flick of a light switch and approaching footsteps from the corridor outside my room. Startled, I practically jumped away from him, ushering him toward the window. "Shit," I whispered-yelled, a mix of frustration and amusement playing across his face as he chuckled, a smirk tugging at his lips. Now out the window, he leaned into it, looking up at me. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you too. Message me when you get home?" I replied, a genuine smile gracing my lips. "Of course," he smiled back, leaning up and planting a fleeting peck on my lips before embarking on his descent, leaving me with the lingering sense of excitement and exasperation. Fuck, he drove me crazy.

・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

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liriostigre · 1 year

Audio

Jeff Buckley's poem, “New Year's Eve Prayer,” performed at Sin-é, Manhattan, NYC, 1994.

You, my love, are allowed to forget about the Christmas you just spent stressed out in your parents' house.

You, my love, are allowed to shed the weight of all the years before, like bad disco clothes. Save them for a night of dancing stoned with your lover.

You, my love, are allowed to let yourself drown, every night, in bottomless, wild and naked symbolic dreams.

You, my love, in sleep can unlock your youth and your most terrifying magic; and dreaming is for the courageous.

You, my love, are allowed to grab my guitar and sing me idiot love songs if you've lost your ability to speak. Keep it down to two minutes.

You, my love, are allowed to rot and to die and to live again, more alive and incandescent than before.

You, my love, are allowed to beat the shit out of your television, choke its thoughts and corrupt its mind. Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill the motherfucker! Before the song of zombified pain and panic and malaise and it's narrow right-winged vision and it's cheap commercial gang rape becomes the white noise of the world, turn about is fair play.

You, my love, are allowed to forgive and love your television.

You, my love, are allowed to speak in kisses to those around you and those up in heaven.

You, my love, are allowed to show your babies how to dance full bodied, starry eyed, audacious, supernatural and glorified.

You, my love, are allowed to suck in every single endeavor.

You, my love, are allowed to be soaked like a lovers' blanket, in the New York summertime, with the wonder of your own special gift.

You, my love, are allowed to receive praise.

You, my love, are allowed to have time.

You, my love, are allowed to understand.

You, my love, are allowed to love.

Woman, disobey, when little men believe.

You, my love, are Rebellion.

#posting this in May cause time is an illusion #and bc i'm allowed to rot and to die and to live again more alive and incandescent than before and to post whatever i want #👍#if anyone has suggestions about the transcription let me know please #jeff buckley