Between you and me
☆ characters: boun & prem
☆ genre: enemies to on-screen lovers au
☆ summary: the anecdote their fans have already heard a thousand times: to prem, everything has started at the kaset fair
☆ words: 9,6k
☆ also: i’d like to dedicate this story to @dat-town ♥ i wish you the happiest day, love
Prem had a love-hate relationship with the Kaset Fair. On one hand, he liked that he didn’t have to study for exams or work on assignments for a whole week. He might have needed to leave his dorm early to get everything ready for the 10AM opening with his peers, he might have felt super sticky after the first hours by the grill, but he would have rather bathed in sweat all day than prepare for his theory exams in a crowded library on such a beautiful, sunny day in February.
On the other hand, he absolutely hated interacting with strangers who were down to initiate random conversations with him while he was grilling their pork. He was an introvert. He didn’t want to know about the juiciest gossips on campus or his customers’ personal life just because he couldn’t turn his back on them and walked in the opposite direction. Still, day after day, every second person seemed to have the same misconception about his polite attitude. It was tiring. The noise, the crowd, and that stupid milkshake booth that was across the walkway.
Once Prem served the petite brunette who had paid for two portions of grilled pork before she had started to curse her ex for being so controlling throughout their entire relationship, he let out a tired sigh, which caught his friend’s attention.
Pun closed the metal box they kept the money in and patted Prem’s shoulder in a lazy manner once, twice, three times.
‘You know, if you scoffed at them like you always do whenever I ask for your notes, they would stop acting like you’re their emotional trash can,’ the boy advised, earning a displeased scoff with his comment, similar to the one he was referring to.
Obviously, Prem still had his usual sass to his personality. It was only that he was also pretty competitive and he hated to lose.
‘Yeah, and they would also stop buying our grilled pork,’ he sulked as he brushed his friend’s hand off his shoulder and fixed his uniform. He didn’t want any of his professors to see him with a messy shirt or listen to their comments on how his loose appearance undermined their university’s prestige. It had happened with Ple the year before and her Maths professor didn’t let her live it down up to this day. Prem was already walking on thin ice whenever he entered his Economics 101 class. The last thing he needed was another reason Mr. Pakorn could have picked on him.
‘Would they? It’s tender and savoury,’ Pun retorted with a cheeky smile before he gave a wai to the next person who stopped by their stall. The boy smiled at their new customer like he knew him as he leaned closer to Prem’s ear and lowered his voice. ‘I’m sure anyone could bear a few minutes of silence for it.’
Prem elbowed into his friend’s side with a tight-lipped smile and pushed him further from the grill just in time for their customer to make his order.
‘No, I won’t risk it. See those guys?’ He whisper-shouted, fierce gaze kept on the medium sized pieces of raw meat that he placed on the grill one by one with utmost care. ‘They’ve already stolen too many of our customers,’ he claimed, hoping that his reasoning was enough for his friend to stop pestering him because of his over dramatic sighs. Because if he couldn’t have had at least those to cope with the chattiest customers, he might have truly lost his will to live by the end of the week.
‘Who?’ Pun asked without the tiniest effort to mimic the boy’s hushed tone, which made Prem almost as annoyed at himself for having expectations as annoyed he was because of the laugh that left their customer’s mouth. He shouldn’t have engaged into this conversation in front of others, not when his friend clearly didn’t know how to be subtle.
Pressing his lips together and trying his best to maintain a believable smile, Prem flipped the pork pieces on the grill and reached for a paper plate just to appear to be busy.
‘Who are you talking about? Psst! Prem!’ It took more effort for Prem to shut out his friend’s demanding questions then he would have ever admitted. ‘Prem! Who?’ But at least he had a good enough excuse to disregard his curiosity.
Or so he thought while he was checking the meat every ten seconds.
‘Here! Don’t hesitate to tell everyone about our booth or come back for more,’ Prem handed a full plate of grilled pork to the customer, mentally counting to five, eight, then twelve, before he took a deep breath and turned towards his friend.
As expected, Pun was already with his back to the metal box, eyes pleading and lips pouty as though his puppy face had ever worked on Prem. His walls were more massive and higher than that.
‘The celebrities’ booth,’ Prem claimed with a frown, the mere thought of those people pissing him off. He didn’t need to look at them to be sure they were winking at every passer-by who was close to them in age or that they were sweet talking them out of their money while letting them take pictures with them. ‘A bunch of show-offs.’
‘I’ve heard your grilled pork is really good,’ someone said in a honeyed voice, urging the two boys to pay attention to its owner. And while Prem was ready to put on his pseudo-happy face for whoever their potential customer was, one look at his friend’s bobbing Adam’s apple was enough for him to assume the worst. ‘Is there some left for me?’
Admittedly nervous, Prem turned towards the familiar boy and took a step closer to the grill to resist the urge to gift him with his judgemental stares. Not because he was only brave when there were no consequences, but because his senior was about to pay for their food and Prem was the type of person who had a hard time being disrespectful with people who spent their money on something he was selling.
That, and he wasn’t an idiot. He knew that this guy could have destroyed their booth with a single bad review on his social media.
‘I guess so,’ Prem mumbled as he picked up his grilling tongs and placed the raw pork pieces on the grill. He didn’t want to think about all the ulterior motives the guy from the milkshake booth must have had when he had walked up to them and had even less willingness to give him what he had truly come for, but his palms got embarrassingly clammy, hence he almost dropped a piece of meat when he stole a glance at him.
‘Good. I’ll have two portions, please,’ he ordered with a lopsided smile, but despite the added please and his good manners, Prem felt like this dude was bossing him around on purpose. As though, he had only asked for an extra portion to see him sweat behind the grill.
Calling him a jerk in his head, Prem bobbed his head and made sure the pork was delicious and plenty when he handed the two paper plates to the guy. Then, he watched like a hawk as the older elbowed his way through the slowly growing crowd with a soft, apologetic smile plastered on his face and took a seat next to a girl behind their own stall.
The guy offered some of his grilled meat to the students around him and the sight, for some reason, only made Prem more furious.
‘He doesn’t seem so bad,’ Pun chirped, his amused voice muffled as if it had come from under heavy layers of water; that focused Prem was on the outrageous scene in front of him. There was something in the way this guy carried himself that rubbed the younger in the wrong way and while a part of him felt repulsed just by looking at him and his fans, another part of him wanted to figure him out and beat him in his own game.
‘He obviously came here to spy on us. Now, they’ll come up with new ways to beat us,’ Prem claimed, confident in the conclusion he had come to.
Obviously, he knew their grilled pork tasted amazing, but could it have been delicious enough to make people as calculative as those guys willingly pay for it and advertise it through their purchase? Highly unlikely.
The boy behind Prem let out a disbelieved puff of air.
‘Or… but this one will be wild, so listen!’ Prem tore his gaze from the celebrities’ booth and turned towards his friend, eager to hear his take on the problem. Pun might not have been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he always had reasonable and interesting theories when he was talking about his favourite manga, so Prem was obviously intrigued. ‘Maybe he was just hungry.’
The boy’s whisper-like suggestion felt like a mockery and Prem - with the vivid memory of their senior’s smug grin in the back of his mind - wasn’t having it. Therefore, he narrowed his eyes and hissed at his friend to shut him up.
‘You’re already one of his followers,’ he insisted, disappointment creeping into his voice and facial expressions. ‘I’m telling you, he’s trying to turn us against each other.’
‘You’re overreacting. It’s not even a real competition,’ Pun tried his best to talk some sense into his friend. However, his logical reasoning didn’t seem to reach the stubborn boy. Instead, if that was possible, it made Prem more determined to win this imaginary battle Pun seriously doubted their senior was even aware of.
‘Of course it is,’ the boy spat and the unusual fire in his eyes made Pun genuinely concerned; he just wasn’t keen on breaking it down to the younger that the students at the other booth weren’t interested in them. He would have been stupid to risk angering Prem when his grades strongly depended on his notes.
Pun would have rather gone to war with him and fought than fail his classes.
Thus, when their next customer walked up to their stall, he rushed back behind the metal box and gave a wai to the girl. He even initiated a conversation with her about her favourite parts of the fair, so that she wouldn’t have talked to Prem. In theory, this should have helped the younger boy to let go of his frustration.
If only he had known, Prem spent every undisturbed minute coming up with an unbeatable strategy to diminish the celebrities’ booth!
(Even though he was clearly playing a losing game.)
Prem had always been good at holding grudges. Still, he wasn’t aware of how marvellous he was at it until his eyes fell on a familiar, cheeky figure from across the room at the casting of Until We Meet Again.
The boy obviously hadn’t wasted his breath on cursing at or talking about his senior after the end of that particular university fair - no matter what his friends would have said -, but he had a fairly good memory. Not to mention that it was also hard to forget someone as charming (derogatory) as this dude with his ear-to-ear smile and smug attitude, so it really wasn’t his fault that he immediately recognised the older. He wasn’t obsessed. Hah! Prem would have never been obsessed with someone like him. He was simply annoyed that no one had believed him when he had warned them about his cunning ways with people.
Yes, that was about right. He was annoyed because the other seemed to already have a couple of people wrapped around his finger. Poor souls. They had no idea who they were up against.
Determined to keep his distance, so that the guy couldn’t have sabotaged his audition, Prem didn’t exchange a single word with his university senior. He kept an eye on him, though, to make sure he was prepared in case the older boy approached him. But he might have chosen to play a different kind of mind game this time, because he stayed away from Prem, too. He didn’t walk up to him like the younger boy had predicted based on their previous encounter nor did he acknowledge their history. In fact! He didn’t show any sign of recognizing Prem, which obviously irked the younger.
Knowing how much connections and good manners mattered in the film industry - after all, no company would have protected a troublemaker actor once the public turned against them for whatever reason -, Prem pushed aside his negative feelings and decided to focus on the task at hand: the casting. If he couldn’t have pretended to be on neutral grounds with the guy, why should anyone have chosen him for the role he intended to play?
He could do better than sending daggers into his senior’s way from across the room when he wasn’t even watching.
But it was hard. Not because Prem’s mind was hyper aware of the other boy’s presence - he hated how he had learned his name was Boun without the guy speaking a single word to him -, but because the older boy deliberately ignored him even when the two of them were made to stand next to each other.
It made Prem feel small, insignificant.
It made him furious.
Boun had no idea how lucky he was that Prem had his priorities straight. Otherwise, he might have taught him a few important lessons that his parents had clearly failed to teach him while raising him. For example, how ignoring someone who had served you the most tender grilled pork that had ever touched your bratty mouth was extremely disrespectful and petty.
Yeah, he was lucky Prem wanted that supporting role more than anything at that moment. Or else, he would have made sure Boun had never forgotten his face again.
To say Prem wasn’t happy about the fact that Boun had gotten the role of his own character’s love interest was an understatement. Whenever he thought of the upcoming shootings, the obligatory media appearances where they had to act all lovey-dovey and friendly, the skinship and the affectionate glances… he felt something bitter on the tip of his tongue. As though, his achievement meant less now that the older boy was a part of it, too.
He seriously didn’t understand what had convinced the casting director that they were a good match with Boun when Prem himself couldn’t have pictured himself even holding his hand, but it wasn’t like a rookie actor could have complained about such (outrageous) decisions. A part of him was also convinced that if he had spoken his mind, if he had put his concerns and disappointment in words, he would have lost his chance to play the challenging role of Team in UWMA as they would have immediately looked for a more suitable co-star for Boun.
Why would they have chosen to side with him when they had someone from the celebrities’ booth under their wings?
This conclusion turned the juice sour in Prem’s mouth when following behind P’Paaty during their nth workshop, he refused to interact more with Boun than it was absolutely necessary to keep his place in the cast. He was never hostile. And he put extra effort into his acting so that Team’s slowly forming bond with Win would have looked believable, but once the director called for a break, he refrained himself from any intimacy let it be physical or emotional. Unlike others such as Fluke and Ohm who were playing the main leads, Prem didn’t share personal stories about himself and his family with his co-actor and neither did Boun seem too eager to tell the younger about his childhood, his dreams and motives.
They were lovers on screen and strangers when the attention wasn’t on them anymore.
It wasn’t how Prem had imagined his first role in a BL drama - or in any show to be honest. He must have been naive for thinking: every couple maintained a friendly relationship when the cameras weren’t rolling.
He was naive for thinking that actors weren’t playing roles in front of their fans, too, just to gain a bigger fandom and earn a name for themselves in the industry through these faceless people’s blind support. Despite its misleading name, fan-service wasn’t only for the fans. It was for the sake of the actors’ career, too. It was pure mutualism; the symbiotic relationship in which both parties benefited. Or so Prem would have liked to believe that it wasn’t just them living off on the young and manipulable.
It was P’Kae’s familiar voice that pulled the boy back to reality and he immediately snapped his head in the writer’s direction, keeping a neutral albeit respectful face despite the boy who was standing next to the woman.
‘I promise I’m not here to reprimand you,’ she started and her calm tone and friendly smile made the younger one believe that she hadn’t walked up to him to scold him for acting on his own instincts regarding his character.
Prem watched as P’Kae turned her head towards his co-star and adjusted her position so that she could have looked at them both at the same time. The whole situation felt a bit unnerving, how it almost felt like the world was moving forwards in slow-mo, but the boy tried to keep his composure and not panic when he stole a glance at his senior and their wary eyes finally met. It seemed Boun was just as clueless as Prem, which should have been reassuring, since it meant Prem wasn’t the only one who was kept in the dark. Yet, somehow, the realisation was as nerve-wracking as it was relieving.
‘You guys have to act together. Please, talk to each other more,’ P’Kae pleaded and the laugh that was scratching the back of Prem’s throat almost found a way to the surface. Oh. So they weren’t about to threaten him to follow the script word by word from now on if he had really wanted to keep his job. P’Kae hadn’t brought Boun along to remind him which one of them would have stayed if he had kept improvising his gestures or to ask the senior to show Prem how he should have acted better.
The woman was simply worried about their lack of communication.
‘We will do our best, P’Kae. Sorry for making you worried with our behaviour,’ the older boy took it upon himself to apologise on both of their behalves and Prem mimicked Boun’s body language as he also pressed his palms together and bowed his head respectfully.
‘We’re really sorry, P’Kae,’ the younger one repeated and even shot a reassuring smile in the woman’s direction when she narrowed her eyes at them, a bit suspicious, but overall pleased with how cooperative the boys were.
The writer’s reaction made Prem wonder just how distant they seemed with Boun compared to other couples to worry the woman enough to take matters into her own hands, but he didn’t have much time to dwell on this matter. He didn’t, because as soon as P’Kae left them alone, Boun turned towards him with his entire body and cleared his throat, demanding Prem’s full attention.
‘Should we grab some dinner after this?’ He asked and Prem’s eyes widened in surprise due to the senior’s straightforwardness. Boun spoke with so much ease as though it was perfectly normal for the two of them to spend time together after work, but to their misfortune, every bone in the younger’s body knew it wasn’t the case.
They had never spent time together without the rest of the cast.
The mere thought felt weird and intimidating and so unnatural, it tugged on Prem’s insides in an unpleasant way. Still, he knew he had to put his negative feelings aside to not disappoint those who had put their trust in him when they had chosen him for Team’s role.
‘I mean, I’ll most probably be hungry anyway, so… sure. Why not?’ Prem agreed, earning an amused scoff from the older with his answer. He tried to pay no mind to how annoying Boun was when he had fun because of his discomfort, but no one should have expected him to pull a full 180 on the older boy so suddenly, so in the end, Prem allowed himself to scoff back at him before he turned away.
This only made Boun smile wider and Prem wished he wouldn’t have caught a glimpse at the blinding sight from the corner of his eyes. So annoying.
To say their first dinner together had been awkward would have been a huge understatement, because Prem had regretted saying yes even before they had ordered and his discomfort had only grown as time had gone by. In hindsight, it might not have been the best conversation starter to ask Boun about the Kaset Fair, but the younger boy had just couldn’t have helped himself and the realisation that his senior had really forgotten their first encounter had poisoned the atmosphere.
The second time had been less tense. They had been having snacks and ice cream, but Prem had still had a relatively hard time to open up, hence Boun had done almost all the talking. He had shared things with the younger boy that weren’t overly personal: things that Prem could have easily gotten to know about him if only he had paid attention when his co-actor was talking with others during team-building group programmes. The reason why he had become an actor, that nowadays he was interested in directing, too, and how he hadn’t believed that his current career was something that could have given him financial stability.
If Prem wanted to be honest, by their third dinner together, he was aware that Boun wasn’t as awful of a person as he had made him to be in his head. And not just because he always insisted on paying for the food with the unbeatable excuse that he was older. No. The more Prem listened, the more he understood that his co-actor genuinely cared about those around him. To an extent that was actually alarming to someone like Prem who religiously tried to avoid not only being dependent on others, but being used by people who pretended to care.
In exchange, he opened up about his love for golfing, his different dreams throughout the years - how he had been a part of a boyband, too, at one point of his life - and told Boun about the ultimate he had given himself a bit over a year ago: he had two years to either achieve something promising in the entertainment industry that he could have built a career on or find a new path that could have actually taken him somewhere in life.
Luckily, he had been chosen for Team’s role months before his personal deadline and despite playing a supporting role, the project so far seemed promising.
‘Na, I did pretty well, didn’t I? Much better than you expected!’ Boun claimed with a pout that soon turned into a smug grin as he nudged the younger boy with his elbow.
The two of them were sitting in a relatively peaceful corner of the room, munching on their lunch that had been brought for them by the staff members during shooting. Due to the tight schedule, that day there wasn’t a fixed lunch break in their call sheet when everyone could rest in the canteen. Instead, they were having a running lunch, which meant both the crew and the actors ate when they weren’t needed on set.
‘Stop fishing for compliments!’ Prem grumbled, even though the barely visible smile in the corner of his mouth made it obvious that Boun’s little dancing between their chicken pad thai and mango sticky rice had indeed entertained him.
Still, Prem wasn’t stupid enough to flatter his ego. Because if not him, who would have kept his senior on his toes?
‘Just admit you’re impressed,’ the older boy insisted, mimicking the choreography of Magic by Goblin Project with his hands and upper body. It should have been annoying, the thought crossed Prem’s mind once again, but seeing Boun’s wide, almost proud smile stirred a dozen of different emotions in him instead.
He felt shy and somewhat touched that after mentioning their band to his senior once, he had taken his time to search them up and memorise the steps.
‘Fine. I’m not not impressed,’ Prem gave in, busying himself with his dessert although he did not avoid eye contact. That would have given Boun the (correct) idea that he felt bashful due to the sudden attention on him and his unsuccessful singer career; despite how his senior was slowly albeit steadily growing on him, Prem didn’t want him to know that he considered him a friend.
‘Meanie,’ Boun mumbled, his pout too exaggerated for Prem to believe his partner wasn’t amused under the surface. The older boy might have been a talented actor, but when it was only the two of them with Prem, he never put real effort into tricking the younger. Which often made Prem wonder how could someone this cringe and touchy be so cool in everyone’s eyes.
The chuckle that escaped the younger’s mouth was so quiet, it was barely audible, but Boun sat close enough to him to feel it through their touching shoulders. Therefore, he joined the laughter with his own, louder giggles before the comfortable silence enveloped them again.
It didn’t take long until the first assistant director called for Prem as the next scene was an interior one in the school building that he shot with Sammy and Fluke, the actors who played the role of Team’s best friends. Not quite finished with his mango sticky rice, Prem shoved the plastic container in his senior’s hand and told him he could have had it if he had wanted, then bowed his head out of habit and rushed after the tall, middle-aged man.
Unlike many others, Prem didn’t have more scenes for the day. Still, he was determined to give an excellent, neat performance, so that those who were scheduled after them wouldn’t have to stay longer due to an uncalculated delay. It happened more often than most people would have assumed, but just because it was a natural part of shooting, it didn’t mean he couldn’t have tried to save valuable minutes for the rest of the crew.
Although he was bound to make mistakes - everyone was - and sometimes the estimated time for a scene was well thought out, he tried every time.
The soft trembles of Prem’s hands went unnoticed by every crew member and the rest of the cast until the stylist deemed Boun’s outfit for the next scene perfect - a plain white tee and a pair of dark soft-looking pants, nothing groundbreaking - and the older boy took notice of them as soon as he sat next to him. Not that he was trying too hard to hide how nervous he was; he believed that everyone would have felt jittery before their first kiss. Still, his senior’s attentiveness was appreciated.
‘Just tell me when it gets too much and we’ll take a break,’ Boun said, his gaze stuck on the younger’s drumming legs while Prem was staring ahead, at their reflection in the huge vanity mirror a few metres from them. They were in one of the wooden houses they had booked for the shooting. However, unlike the one in which Team would pull Win close for a drunk kiss, this one was lacking essential furniture and was full of clothes, make-up items and hairspray.
It was more crowded, too.
‘I’m fine,’ he retorted after a couple of silent heartbeats, because even though Boun’s offer was considerate of him, they shouldn’t have taken deliberate breaks just because the younger boy’s heart was drumming in his chest, throat and ears at the thought of kissing another guy.
He had known what he had signed up to when he had auditioned for the role. And it wasn’t like he had anything against Boun anymore. The senior might have been touchy and dorky, but he was a good friend and a person he felt safe and comfortable with.
‘I’ve never said you weren’t,’ the older claimed as he shifted his gaze from Prem’s legs to his face. He put his hand on Prem’s and gave it a little squeeze before he rested his head on the younger’s shoulder. ‘I’m saying we can take breaks.’
Prem let out a sigh. He was contemplating whether he should have thanked the other that he was prioritising his comfort or scold him for encouraging him to disregard the call sheet.
In the end, he did neither. Instead, he puffed his cheeks and squeezed his senior’s hand back, holding onto him until they were asked to do a quick rehearsal before rolling.
Boun was the first one to react: he stood up and pulled Prem up into a standing position as well, not letting go of him until they were in the wooden house where the cameras were almost set. As they got in position, the blond boy shot an encouraging smile in Prem’s direction, earning an eye roll from the younger that soon turned into a dopey smile.
P’Kae was monitoring them when Prem’s back hit the soft blankets and the dreaded scene, albeit without anyone else really paying attention to them, began.
“I’m lazy,” Prem recited his lines, slowly pushing himself up on his elbows, staring at Boun who kept looking down at him. “Why? Am I disgusting?” He asked, his mind slowly merging with his character’s fuzzy brain.
And so when Prem ceased to exist, Team came alive.
The shock on the younger’s face was masked by his supposed drunkenness when Win pushed him on his back again, into the sheets. Suddenly, the whole world reduced to the two of them and for a passing moment they did nothing else, but let themselves get lost in the other’s hazy eyes.
When Win’s warm lips brushed against Team’s neck: the pulsing vein that throbbed under his hot skin, the younger boy gulped to clear his mind.
“Not really,” Win claimed and that was the cue, they both knew it. Everyone around them did. Still, Prem’s hands were shaking and he fell out of character as he belatedly reached out to pull his senior’s head towards his own.
It was clumsy and out of pace, but eventually Boun’s lips landed on his and cages his lower lip with his, nibbling on it softly. Soft. The boy’s lips were softer than Prem had expected a man’s lips to feel, not that he had been daydreaming about kissing his senior too much, just to prepare himself mentally.
Lost in his own thoughts, the younger boy barely registered when his co-actor pulled away. It was the worry in Boun’s eyes that he noticed first. Then, the older boy’s soft caresses on his cheek.
‘You forgot your line. Was it that good?’ The blond boy asked jokingly and while the teasing tone of his voice made Prem scoff, he was grateful that Boun knew babying him would have caused more damage. This way, he could ground himself while rolling his eyes and push Boun off himself without feeling flustered.
‘You’re just too heavy,’ Prem complained, lighthearted but pseudo-grumpy, relieved to get to know from P’Kae that they still had a couple of minutes before the lightning crew finished the preparations.
Kissing Boun didn’t get easier immediately, but by the time the camera was rolling, Prem felt more confident. Therefore, most of the retakes the director deemed necessary were the result of the man’s new ideas and those unplanned angles he wanted them to try out.
“You’re always like this. You always fool around,” Prem recited when his character and Win came up for air after their kiss, his gaze accusatory, but weak for the man who was towering over him.
It was an intense moment. A make or break for the couple.
The tension in the air made the younger boy’s chest feel heavy.
“If I’m serious, will you promise me? That you won’t run away,” Win’s dark eyes bored deep in the younger boy’s before he leaned forwards, faces so close, the two boys’ breath mingled before their noses touched momentarily. “In this world, you can be afraid of anything, I’ll be right beside you,” Win started and Team’s entire body was buzzing with excitement and anxiety while the older boy delivered Prem’s favourite lines from the entire episode. “But you cannot be afraid of me. Do you understand?”
The silence that followed the question grew longer than it was supposed to be, but somehow it felt right. Especially when the older boy reached out for Team’s hand and slowly lifted it to his own heart.
“Especially my feelings for you,” the confession rolled off from Win’s lips and Prem decided to go with the flow since no one in the room had called cut.
Changing their position and pushing his senior into the sheets would have been more difficult if Boun hadn’t caught up with the younger boy’s intention, but during the past few weeks, the two of them had grown closer, so it came almost naturally. And it fitted so well with the rest of the scene, with their characters and how the two swimmers felt not just for each other at that moment, but themselves as well.
Longing, dread, want. They all mixed together, in their eyes, when Team promised to not run away, but begged his lover to catch him if he did.
They wrapped up the shooting sooner than Prem would have liked, however, they were mere supporting characters with Boun, so it was natural that it had felt short. A part of the boy was convinced it would have felt the same even if they had had more screen time - which was a silly and useless thought. Especially because the project was still far from being over.
The promotions of UWMA left the young boy with little time to concentrate on anything else, let alone a new series, but he wanted to make use of the sudden popularity he had gained with the show before his fifteen minutes of fame ended. He feared the moment the public forgot about Team as he was still a newbie actor, hence he couldn’t put forward too many successful roles that could have convinced other directors to work with him.
So he might have messed up and had forgotten to eat or drink before one of the interviews he had with Boun because he had gotten too lost in the script that his manager had gotten him for consideration, but Prem seriously hadn’t noticed he was starving until it was too late.
The cameras were already rolling. They had been rolling for a while by then, actually.
‘What are the secrets you know about each other, but others don’t?’ The woman asked, the answer of her previous question lost somewhere in the white noise that rang in the boy’s ears. He felt dizzy, but he refrained from reaching out to Boun and seeking support in his presence.
The older was already doing enough, keeping up the conversation on both of their behalves.
‘I know a good one!’ Boun started, nudging his partner with his shoulder lightly to pull him back to the present without being too direct about his intention or worries. It was clear, at least to Prem, that his senior didn’t want to put him under the spotlight, but that he wanted to know he was alright and with them. So the boy shot a small albeit reassuring smile in his direction. Still a bit doubtful, Boun’s gaze loitered on Prem’s features briefly before he turned back towards the woman and the crew. ‘Prem sleeps with the lights on. He keeps the lights in front of the bathroom on,’ he shared, his eyes turning softer immediately when he swung his arms over younger’s shoulder, teasing him with exaggerated, cooing noises.
Prem felt too tired to push him away or pinch his side with just enough force for the older to pull away on his own.
But he still resisted the urge to lean into his body and let him support a part of his weight.
‘He does?’ The woman asked, her giggles ringing in the younger boy’s ears. ‘And how would you know that?’
Prem had the answer; it was on the tip of his tongue, really. It would have been so easy to admit that he had slept over at Boun’s place after a particularly draining workshop, then tease the older with how whiny he had gotten when he had refused to turn off the lights. The boy was confident that their fans would have loved the story. Yet, Prem’s mouth felt dry and his mind a little fuzzy while he unconsciously leaned against his senior.
He could feel the muscles in Boun’s body tense when the other pulled him against his side with a firm hand on his hip.
He should have been smarter and eaten before the interview.
‘That’s a secret for another day,’ Boun joked, his intention to gain everyone’s attention in the room nowhere near as smooth as he must have believed. Still, his silly albeit considerate attempt tugged the corners of Prem’s lips upwards.
The boy tilted his head backwards to be able to look at his senior’s face and when their eyes met, he shot a grateful smile in his way that he regretted only a little when he was reminded of the interviewer’s presence. Because the woman clearly misunderstood the gesture or was too eager to misunderstand it on purpose.
‘Na?’ She cooed before she clicked her fingers with a knowing smile as though she had just discovered something groundbreaking. ‘That explains why K’Prem looks so tired today,’ she stated, clearly making fun of the younger’s pale complexion and the concealed bags under his eyes.
Lacking a good retort and energy to deal with the question politely, Prem let out an awkward laugh and shook his head. He wasn’t about to start a scandal, acting rude and disrespectful, but it would have been a lie to say he wasn’t afraid of the potential tsunami this live interview could have started. What if their fans had taken his flustered reaction the wrong way and genuinely believed that there was something real going on between Boun and him? What had this woman been thinking?
Prem heard the growling sound that came from his right first. Then, he realised that it was his senior who failed to contain his anger. It wasn’t a particularly new phenomenon that Boun’s protective instinct kicked in when it came to Prem, but it was definitely new that it happened in front of cameras. Thus, Prem needed a moment to put himself together and think through his options.
He could have denied the implication in his usual, blunt manner, but that opportunity might have been already out the window due to how long it had taken him to organise his thoughts. He could have also diverted the topic, but seeing the fire in the interviewer’s eyes, Prem had a hunch that the woman wouldn’t have let go of the current one without a fight. And he was too tired for that, which meant that he had to approach the situation from a different angle.
He had to calm Boun the hell down.
In hindsight, pinching the older in his side was a very stupid idea, but Prem was running short on time and there was no way he could have hugged him from behind like he usually did on set. That would have only added oil to the fire.
‘Won’t you tell them why I look like a zombie today? As K’Joy kindly implied,’ Prem asked, his voice a bit on the raspy side due to the lack of use. It took everything in him to maintain a somewhat teasing attitude when all he wanted was surrender to gravity that turned his limbs as heavy as a rock. Or a pile of rock. A goddamn mountain.
The panicked yelp that escaped the interviewer’s throat was satisfying to hear, but it didn’t do much to ground the younger boy, hence Prem lost the thread of the conversation somewhere between Boun rambling about a dinner with the UWMA cast that he had no recollection of and P’Kae’s request that had left them no choice but to get to know each other better in their free time. Neither of these had anything to do with Prem’s exhaustion, but breaking down the disappointing truth for their fans wasn’t their responsibility.
If being an actor had paid so well in Thailand, there wouldn’t have been a reason for so many of them to start their own brand after their debut. Likewise, just because they had a successful project behind their back, neither Boun, nor Prem had a stable footing in the industry.
Acting might not have been as challenging as working on a boat in the middle of the sea, but they also had to work hard to earn their place, to earn money.
They also had to decide whether they put in extra effort to be able to chase their dreams or slept a couple of hours more.
‘It was a pleasure to meet you guys. I think I can confidently say we all wish you a successful comeback in the near future. Until then, please give a lot of love to Until We Meet Again,’ the woman’s professional outro echoed in Prem’s mind before he felt a pair of firm hands on his upper arms and someone turned his body a few degrees to the right.
‘When was the last time you ate? Did you forget to bring a water bottle with you again?’ His senior asked and Prem let out an amused huff when the older took his face into his hands, the soft pads of his fingers doing wonders to his tired skin.
‘Breakfast,’ Prem admitted without agreeing with the obvious. Clearly, he still needed to get used to carrying a water bottle with himself when he knew he would have a long day. But it was more difficult than Boun made it to be. Building new habits was always difficult.
‘Your next schedule?’ Boun asked, his voice neutral despite the worry that was evident in his eyes. A part of Prem wanted to apologise for messing up their interview so badly, but another part of him knew his senior didn’t need his apology. He simply wanted Prem to take better care of himself.
‘In two hours, but it’s on the other side of the city,’ he informed his partner who processed his words with a firm nod and let his hands fall from Prem’s puffy cheeks to his shoulders, then back by his own sides.
Although he deemed himself an independent person, Prem let his senior pull him towards the changing rooms and didn’t complain when Boun claimed he would accompany him to the audition of the new series he was eyeing. He knew even his manager wouldn’t have a bad word about it as the old man found the blond actor a respectful nong who was caring and trustworthy. He knew Boun wouldn’t have tried to sabotage him and if anything, he would have cheered Prem on even if he had performed poorly.
But Boun was determined to do more than that. He ordered food at the location of the casting and made sure Prem was well-fed and hydrated by the time it was his turn to act out a part of the script. He encouraged him and chatted the minutes away to take the younger’s mind off the mistakes he had frequently made during practising.
He was there and in a way, it made everything a bit easier for Prem even though he knew his scolding was yet to come. Boun didn’t forget his carelessness. He just pushed his frustration aside temporarily, so that he could have prioritised the younger boy’s needs.
He always did that when it came to people he cared about.
No matter how tiring it could get, his schedule during the promotions, Prem didn’t want it to end. However, time waited for no man and the young boy obviously wasn’t an exception.
Head leaning against a firm shoulder and arms heavy from the alcohol in his system, Prem made one last attempt at reaching out for another piece of crispy chicken skin before he gave up and accepted that it was too much work.
‘You should eat some more,’ Boun’s voice came from the boy’s left while someone else let out an obnoxious laugh on his right. It took Prem a couple of embarrassingly long seconds to remember: he was out with a few members of the UWMA cast, celebrating after their very last show together.
He didn’t see what was there to be so happy about.
‘Are you even listening?’ Boun asked, this time, a little louder, although Prem had heard him clearly the first time as well. He just found it weird: answering to a statement he agreed with, but was too tired to carry out. Would it have been ridiculous if he had asked the older to feed him with some delicious, crispy chicken skin? Hadn’t the two of them been already over that point in their friendship when trivial things like embarrassment and shame mattered?
‘Maybe we should call him a taxi. He’s pretty much half-asleep already,’ Sammy said with her phone in her hand. Her eagerness, albeit coming from a kind heart, made the tipsy Prem want to scowl at her. Who had told her he wanted to go home and sleep? He was hungry and about to ask Boun to give him some bar snacks before the next round of alcohol.
‘I don’t want to,’ he grumbled, his voice barely audible because of the constant background noise at the pub and the fact that his head was hanging low, gaze fixed on his knees instead of his friends.
‘I’ll take him home,’ Boun claimed, completely disregarding the younger boy’s wishes as if Prem was a child who couldn’t make decisions on his own. If he had wanted to drink himself under the table and fall asleep in public, he had just as much right to do so as everyone else! Well, not that he had such plans for the night. But he didn’t want to leave so soon, either.
‘Are you sure, phi?’ Fluke’s voice sounded borderline amused and it confused Prem’s already overwhelmed brain. Shouldn’t he have been disappointed that their senior was leaving or annoyed with Prem for drinking too much and unintentionally ending the party for Boun so soon? In his shoes, the younger boy would have clicked his tongue, displeased, that he had needed to say goodbye to his partner before time because of someone else’s irresponsibility. ‘Text us when you’re home.’
‘I said I don’t wanna,’ Prem pressed, linking his arms in front of his chest to give emphasis to his words, but it didn’t work. No one was listening to him and Ohm even had the audacity to steal his straw basket full of crispy chicken skin as if Prem didn’t need it anymore. He was so hungry, though.
Getting up from the table was a challenge in itself, giving a wai to everyone without losing his balance an even bigger one, but Boun put the boy’s hand on his shoulder once they turned their back to their friends and supported him on the way out of the place. He kept Prem close until the taxi arrived and let him rest his head on his shoulder throughout the ride.
The boy couldn’t have told whether the traffic was exceptionally light that night or he had fallen asleep at one point during the drive, but the next thing he took notice of after giving himself to the tranquil atmosphere in the backseat was the warm breeze against his skin while they were walking towards his building. Time really didn’t want to go easy on him and stop for his sake. If anything, it was outright mocking Prem with how quickly each hour slipped through his fingers.
‘Here, you’re good to go,’ Boun said, a sigh escaping his mouth as he straightened his spine. Prem furrowed his brows in confusion just to follow the older’s line of sight for answers and realise that his shoes weren’t on his feet anymore.
They stood in front of the front door for long seconds before Boun patted the younger boy’s butt and nudged him forwards, one clumsy step closer to the bathroom.
‘If you’re too tired to take a shower, at least wash your teeth,’ Boun said with an endeared grin, drawing Prem’s attention to the importance of basic hygiene, which obviously wasn’t a new concept to him. However, it was late and the thought of undressing and dragging himself under the showerhead had never been so unappealing.
He would have much preferred to drown in his fluffy blankets.
Still, tipsy Prem was powerless against his senior who took his hand in his and led him to the bathroom. Boun made sure the younger boy was able to keep his balance after he had helped him sit on the toilet lid and held his toothbrush under the running water before he put some toothpaste on it and shoved it into Prem’s hand.
Still a bit grumpy because he couldn’t have stayed at the party, the younger boy wasn’t happy about the fact that he was treated like a baby even in his own home, but he followed Boun to his bedroom after rinsing and didn’t push the older’s hand away when he hovered over him to tuck him in. Mostly, because it meant Boun was still there, hence the night hadn’t come to an end. Not yet.
Prem’s body acted on autopilot when he reached for the blond boy’s hand, his fingers curling around his wrist firmly at the first sight of Boun leaving. His thoughts might have been a bit mushy, but he felt it in his core that he wasn’t ready to let go of the past months.
‘Stay,’ he pleaded, watching as Boun’s other hand tentatively touched his fingers and peeled them off himself. The action, albeit gentle, tugged the younger boy’s lips downwards. ‘I don’t want it to end,’ he explained, willing to show vulnerability if that gave his senior a reason to give another thought to his request. It wasn’t that they had never slept at each other’s place before. In fact! Prem was sure if they had looked into his wardrobe, they could have found one of Boun’s oversized tees there, waiting for the boy to sleep in it again.
Prem’s eyes widened in surprise when Boun leaned down to him and took his right cheek in his hand, caressing his skin softly. Even without filters, Prem had the decency to ponder: maybe he was acting too clingy, but the pillowy touch of the older’s lips against his forehead diminished all of his insecurities that started to scratch themselves into the surface.
‘I’ll be quick, I promise. Just let me wash up first,’ Boun whispered against his hair before he pulled away with a cheeky grin and grabbed a random piece of clothing from the wardrobe along with that green towel he had claimed as his on the first night he had slept over.
Prem watched him walk away, a grateful smile blooming in the corner of his mouth when he noticed that the older turned on the lights in front of the bathroom. Oh! He had completely forgotten about them, which was ridiculous. He had been sleeping with the lights on since he could have remembered. It was a huge part of his existence the way snacks were Team’s.
Prem was feeling nostalgic, his mind full of memories about the shooting and his character, when the bed dipped behind his back and his body rolled from his side to his back without any particular command from his brain. He looked up at the person who was looking down at him, weight supported by his elbows, and smiled. Boun had kept his word. He was as quick as those comic book characters with superpowers.
Or Prem was too drunk to perceive time.
‘Are you okay? Do you want me to bring a bowl or something?’ Boun’s voice came through a thick fog, but Prem was quick to shake himself out of the momentary numbness. He wasn’t sleepy. He was not sleepy. He hoped if he had repeated it enough times in his head, his body would also believe it.
His eyelids shouldn’t have felt so heavy.
‘Do you think we will have other projects?’ The younger boy asked quietly, determined to fight the tiredness in his bones at least for a little longer.
‘Together or in general?’ Boun answered with his own question, making the boy realise there were more than one option. Up until this moment, his thoughts zeroed in on only one of them, the one that made him more comfortable and less stressed about what ifs. What if the script had pushed him out of his comfort zone too much? What if the cast members hadn’t been as welcoming as their little UWMA family? What if his new partner had only liked him in front of the cameras?
Prem turned his head to the left, watching as Boun fixed the fluffy blanket over them so that it would cover the younger more, from his toes all the way to his chin. He acted like Prem’s mom when she wanted to make sure her son didn’t catch a cold during monsoon season and the resemblance made him chuckle. Especially because they had had an entire week without rain. The weather was rather warm despite the late hour.
‘Together. I want to work with you again, phi,’ he answered, convinced that even if his acting had improved over the years, he wouldn’t have been able to feel as comfortable kissing another man as he was when it was Boun who was touching him. Because when it was him, Prem knew he would have never gone overboard for the sake of the show without consulting with him in advance.
‘Dunno. I was actually thinking of becoming a director. You know, since I’m already a bit old for a rookie,’ the blond boy admitted, his tone casual yet practical like he didn’t have many regrets and those he had didn’t hurt him much. Meanwhile, what he was saying shook Prem’s entire world with the force of a bullet train.
He sat up quick enough to make his head hurt and turned towards Boun with his entire body, palms finding a home on the older’s upper arm.
‘What? No, you can’t!’ He said, panic creeping its way into his entire being. Prem had known that it had always been an option that he might not have had another role like Team. He knew the public could have forgotten about him before he could have really made it. However, not having Boun at least as a fellow actor? That had never crossed his mind. ‘You need to keep acting so we could work together again,’ he pleaded, throwing the remnants of his inhibition and dignity out the window.
Prem’s eyes were teary - and later, when sober, he would definitely blame everything on the alcohol that amplified his stress -, when Boun reached out to him and fixed his messy hair. The palpable gentleness of the gesture made the younger feel as though he was about to be lectured on how certain aspects of Boun’s life didn’t necessarily concern him, so he swatted his senior’s hand away and turned his head to the opposite direction.
He didn’t want to hear it, because then he might have actually accepted that the blond boy was right and he was acting ridiculous.
‘I’m serious. You can’t leave me alone,’ Prem mumbled, the sound quiet and whine-like even though he was trying his best to not act more pathetic than he had already felt.
The silence that embraced the boys was heavy with tension before Boun pushed himself into a sitting position and put both of his hands on Prem’s shoulders. He turned the younger boy towards himself and waited patiently until he looked at him.
‘Fine,’ Boun said, his characteristic, endeared smile giving the younger hope and tugging on his heartstrings at the same time. ‘If we come across another chance to play a couple, I’ll be there for you. Right by your side.’
‘Promise?’ Prem whispered, earning a nod from his senior. ‘Always?’ Another nod followed without any hesitation. ‘You would stay? For me?’ The third and the fourth nods urged Prem to launch at the older, kicking the air out of the blond boy’s lungs with his speed and the force he clinged onto him.
They stayed in that clumsy hug until Boun’s caresses on the boy’s back made Prem believe that he wasn’t dreaming, then the older tucked him back under the blankets and pulled his head atop of his own chest.
Like this, finishing their first project together didn’t make Prem so anxious anymore that it kept him awake for hours. Instead, he felt protected in the present and excited about the future as he fell into a dreamless sleep.
the end.
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