#enemies to lovers bang chan

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Love Playlist #2: UGH! (Bang Chan)

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» 

"Shut the fuck up."

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader Genre: college au, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, forced proximity Warnings: swearing, mc has autism, misogynistic behavior (not Bang Chan), implications of ableism, bullying, short panic attack description Word Count: 11k

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It’s a truth universally acknowledged that you hate Christopher Bang’s guts. Everything about him, you hate. The utter laziness that he masks as nonchalance? The “happy-go-lucky” attitude that borders on bullheaded recklessness? The way every single time you text him about something important, he never replies? You hate it all. He’s irresponsible, aimless, completely unreliable, and you hate him.

Chris believes that the whole world revolves around him, and unfortunately, he would be correct. With dimples that rival Harry Styles’s and saccharinity biologically embedded in him, his good looks and charismatic personality blind everyone to the truth. Everyone except for you, of course.

Even if all of the supreme powers in the universe held you over an eternal chasm and forced you to find compromise, you still wouldn’t be able to stop hating him. And you hate heights— almost as much as him— so that’s saying something. Your hatred for him will never, ever waver. You hate Chris Bang, period. And you hate him even more now, as he stands next to you and accepts an honor that should solely be yours.

“Congratulations, Chris and Y/N!” 

You keep clapping and plaster on a fake smile to save face, trying to ignore the rage bubbling inside of you. In your peripheral vision, you sense Christopher laughing and shooting finger guns towards people in the audience, like some kind of corrupt politician. In a way, he is one, because you should have won this election. But you didn’t.

“In all of our history, never has there been an exact voting tie between two candidates.” The sickeningly cheerful announcer bounds closer to where you are standing on the stage, gesturing towards you both. “Everyone, please give another round of applause for our new Student Co-Presidents!”

Hearing it officially made you feel nauseated. For the three years you’ve been a college student, you have worked tirelessly, day and night, so this moment could come to fruition. All of those days filled with nonsense— schmoozing to all of the seniors in the Undergraduate Student Council, attending the endless number of tedious mixers to make connections, standing in the rain trying to raise funds for the organization— were going to be worth it, because in the end, you had one goal: to be student body president. 

But your dreams were dashed to the ground when he strolled in like a supermodel. While you were toiling since you were a freshman, Chris showed up at the final student council meeting at the end of last year, expressing his intentions to run for president in the following academic semester after the summer. Chris’s charm threw off the projectile of the election, compared to how although you carry yourself very well professionally, you still are very socially uncapable. Making engaging small talk about the weather or joking about frat parties on campus are unthinkable tasks for you, while that kind of conversation is exactly Chris’s forte. 

You know that you’re lucky that you at least get part of the title, because while on paper you are more qualified than Chris, the game was never in your favor. And seeing it all happen by the cursed will of the one person you’ve despised more than anyone else, since you were a kid, makes it hurt more than anything.

“Great job, partner.” 

You’re snapped out of your disturbed musings by the aforementioned person, who beams and stretches out his hand towards you. You’re wary of the gesture, but accept it anyway, making sure to squeeze his hand extra hard. 

“Same to you, Christopher,” you retort, adding an unmistakable bite to your words.

The smile doesn’t fade off of his face as he coolly shakes his aching hand off from your death grip. “I go by Chris, you know that.”

You nearly snort, but refrain from it, because people are watching. You do not need any negative publicity right now, especially next to your co-counsel who seems to do no wrong. But that won’t stop you from being discreetly petty. “Okay, Christopher.”

You hate Chris, and he knows it. But his elated expression doesn’t budge as he merely moves away from you to spark conversation with the announcer, who looks at Chris with literal hearts in her eyes. One more thing you hate: no matter how much you try to rile him up like he does to you, he never gives you a reaction. That satisfaction solely belongs to him. 

Rolling your eyes, you shove past him as gracefully as you can, eliciting a surprised grunt out of him. As Chris rubs his side behind you, you turn to the students coming closer to congratulate you, the smile on your face very much genuine now.

“He left me on read! AGAIN. Can you believe the audacity?” 

The smoky, herbaceous scent of freshly brewed coffee and sugary fragrance of baking breakfast pastries does nothing to soothe your anger. Your unadulterated complaints ricochet off of the walls of Morningstar Coffee House, your go-to place when you need to feign study in order to hang out with your best friend, a devoted employee-in-training at the place. 

Soobin groans, dumping out the latest batch of long macchiato into the sink. “I keep messing it up.”

“Are you even listening, Soobin?” You lean against the counter that he’s behind, wiping up the small drops of milk that escaped the carton in his hasty panic to master the art of being a barista. 

“Yes, yes, I am, sorry. Please continue.” Soobin sets aside his blender and folds his hands on the granite, looking at you earnestly. 

You pick at the chipped dark purple polish on your nails. “I can work with him. I can. Because I’m a professional. But he makes it so hard when I’m trying to communicate with him.”

Soobin shrugs. “Maybe he’s just not using his phone right now.”

With a frustrated sigh, you shake your head. If only everyone could be as sweet and guileless as Soobin. He always sees the best in people, and while you’re not a pessimist, it’s hard for you to find the good in Chris’s character. 

“It’s not just the text thing, even though I really do need him to tell me if he’s finished the nominations for the ethics board. It’s like, he doesn’t give a crap about anything, especially when it comes from me.” 

Soobin nods slowly, wrinkling his nose in thought. “I know he’s difficult. But just keep rising above. Getting upset hurts you, not him.”

As always, Soobin remains the voice of reason behind your storms, your eternal complement. When you need to cry your emotions out, he welcomes you with open arms. When he’s too shy to ask for the dessert menu at restaurants, you will signal for the waiter. When you make your displeasure apparent, he induces a degree of rationality into your vexed mind. That said, fundamentally, both of you are introverts. At the end of the day, you love nothing more than to curl up on the couch and watch knitting tutorials on Youtube with Soobin. Opposites or not, you fit each other like a glove. 

“I love you, cucumber,” you say, affectionately poking fun at your best friend’s towering height. 

Soobin’s cheeks turn light pink, and he swats your hands away. “You’re weird.”

You tip your head back and laugh, while Soobin grins and resumes his duties in trying to figure out how to work the cash register. You can feel the worries already lifting in your chest, because who cares about Chris, anyway? Certainly not you. 

But as if you had spoken of the devil, you hear the jingle of the shopkeeper’s doorbell, followed by that familiar boisterous guffaw. The sound makes you whirl around, the tension soaring back into your shoulders. And there he is, sauntering into the café with his trusty entourage trailing. 

Your narrowed eyes meet Chris’s, and he pauses in the middle of whatever obnoxious joke he must have been sharing. For a brief moment, a telepathic duel sparks between you both, a challenge to see which one of you will be the first to crack. You win, when he breaks eye contact to go and find a seat with his friends in the lounge area. But once more, it doesn’t feel that way, because while he’s resumed his own activities, you’re still thinking about him. So much for rising above. Damn it. 

“Soobin, you need to scan your employee ID first or else sales won’t be attributed to you. We already went over this.”

The voice of Seungmin, the son of Morningstar’s owners and your fellow university student, halts your deliberations and thankfully pulls your thoughts away from Chris. Seungmin is inside from his break and stands there besides Soobin, scolding him for making another mistake in his practice transaction before the evening rush. 

“Right! Sorry about that.” Soobin shakes his head and exhales, grabbing a towel to wipe his sweaty hands.

“You’ll be fine. Just keep at it.” Seungmin softens, patting Soobin on the back before making his way over to where Chris is sitting. Because of course, Chris is friends with every single person in existence.

Another person enters the building, prompting the telltale ring to go off. Soobin’s perpetual flush morphs into a crimson, and you immediately turn to see which newcomer has got your best friend so hot and bothered. You’re met by the sight of a very pretty girl who you recognize, but whose name escapes you. However, you know the boy she has walked into the coffee house with— her best friend, Han Jisung, who is unsurprisingly another member of Chris’s glorified posse. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” You raise your eyebrow at Soobin, who is still watching the girl with a lovelorn look in his eyes.

“What?”

“You can’t like her. She and Jisung have a thing.”

“They’re just friends,” Soobin says, frowning, but you can see the contradicting doubt written across his face. “Maybe I’ll talk to Seungmin and see what’s up.”

You take his hand and resign, because other times, both of you have to learn your lessons on your own. “You’ll make someone’s heart beat as fast as they do your own. Whether it’s her or not.”

Soobin swallows, fully directing his attention back to you. “The same to you as well. ”

You let out a playful snort, thinking of your one short-lived romance from freshman year. You haven’t dated since, deciding to set relationships aside so you can focus better on your studies. You cannot take the chance of losing precious time, time that can only be allotted to your favorite person, work, and nothing else. Besides, you’ve never been very good at flirting— let alone finding friends— anyway. 

“But I think Chris raises your pulse rate enough, so maybe you’ve got your plate full for now.”

“Don’t start,” you warn, the annoyance picking up again. Soobin sends you a cheeky smile, before he attends to his peckish customers. 

You take the opportunity to make your way back to your table in the front of the cafe, your favorite little spot that overlooks the lush campus lawn, and then past the historic buildings of your university, the faint city skyline. The trees have begun happily shedding their leaves like multicolored tears that dot the outdoor expanse, embracing Autumn like a long-lost lover. Today is gorgeous, a day that should feel like a blessing, and yet, you feel blue.

The reason for your melancholy approaches your carefully curated bubble and pops it, sitting down at the table, uninvited. 

“Hey, I didn’t see you at the election after-party the other day.”

Chris’s voice is calm, so you merely clench your jaw and keep from saying anything too unintelligible. “Hey, you read my text and didn’t reply today.”

He doesn’t let the sheepishness cross his features, but has the decency for it to manifest in a light red at the tips of his ears. “I was going to, sorry. I’ve been busy.”

You just can’t help the venom that laces your next words. “You always are.”

Chris shakes his head, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t get why you always have a problem with me.”

You allow yourself a sharp intake of breath before divulging your current frustrations with him. “I really, really need you to answer me when I ask you something. We represent all of the students in our college. We can’t afford to mess this up.”

Chris rolls his eyes at your words, which makes you even more irritated. “I know.”

“Great. Then we have nothing else to discuss.” You slip your laptop back into your carrier and zip up your backpack, grabbing your phone and pushing your chair in. You don’t spare Chris a glance as you walk towards the door. 

“Why can’t we just be friends like before?”

You tense at Chris calling out, but don’t look back to face him. “You should know the answer to that.”

“I really don’t.”

With a scoff, you leave him hanging, pushing open the door and finding somewhere you can actually study without distraction.

It’s only the second day of fourth grade and you already feel so out of place. You moved here  over a month and a half ago, in the middle of summer, so you had a lot of time to get used to the town and explore your new home. You enjoyed biking around the neighborhood cul-de-sac all day and discovered a clearing in the woods behind your house, immediately claiming it as your personal hideout. After your parents hosted some of your neighbors’ families for dinner, you even established friendly relations with Soobin, the impossibly shy son of the couple next door. 

But your expeditions in school haven’t been as successful. As soon as you stepped into the classroom, it seemed like everyone already had their own friend groups, less than willing to take on a newbie like you. Because all of the seemingly “cool” kids have claimed all of the seats in the back, you sit up front, the desk next to you empty. And although Soobin also attends the same school, he’s in a different homeroom than you, so your in-school interactions are limited to hallway waves and nothing else. To top it all off, your teacher is already talking about long division. What in the world is that?

“Would you like a pudding?”

You turn around to pinpoint the hushed voice that has interrupted the independent classwork time that your teacher allotted. The owner sits right behind you, this kid with dimples and mischievous eyes. You can’t recall his name from when your teacher took attendance in the morning, but you remember him singing a little rhyme to his friends during lunch yesterday. It was cheesy.

The boy holds out a small cup of what looks like Jell-O snack pudding towards you. You accept it, slightly confused at the random gesture. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He folds his hands on his desk, math practice discarded to the side. “You looked hungry.”

He’s watching you intently, waiting for you to eat the pudding. With a sigh, you open and try it, because you are kind of hungry. As soon as your lips gingerly close around the tiny spoon, you grin, because it’s chocolate— your favorite.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Chris,” he replies, obviously delighted by your reaction to the pudding. “Are you new?”

You smile, relieved to finally see a friendly face in your class. “Yeah, I am. Thanks for the pudding.”

“I don’t go anywhere without my trusty pudding cups.”

You don’t say anything, just quietly observing him while savoring the pudding. Chris is a little weird, and maybe too friendly. You're usually careful about this kind of socialization, but he doesn’t seem like a bad person. Chris takes your silence as an opportunity to keep chattering away.

“I notice you sit alone at lunch. You should eat with my friends and me today!” Chris exclaims, earning him a look from your teacher, but he doesn’t notice.

You pretend to contemplate his offer, although you’re secretly elated at the invitation. “Maybe if there’s more pudding.”

“Deal.”

“It looks like the faculty advising problem is sorted. Anything else?” 

The Dean of the college closes his laptop and pushes the pair of glasses perched on his nose for the hundredth time in the past hour. The lenses are huge, magnifying his eyes and making them look bugged-out, adding a comical element to his otherwise stony face.

“I was thinking—” You start, taking out your notepad, but the Dean cuts you off, looking at Chris.

“Chris, did you have anything you wanted to say?” 

Your cheeks as you avert your gaze shamefully, and all of the other students in the conference room awkwardly stare down at the table. The Dean doesn’t seem to notice your discomfort, however, just intently staring at Chris. For the entire board meeting, you actively participated and made your voice heard, while taking into account others’ concerns and viewpoints. 

Meanwhile, Chris had done nothing but squint at the papers in front of him and pretend he knew what was happening. But you’ve always been underestimated just because you’re a woman, and the fact that you’re the only female student body president in the entire history of your university doesn’t help. Of course the Dean would value Chris’s thoughts more. Anyone would. 

“Actually, Y/N was saying something. We should let her finish,” Chris replies firmly, shocking you. You thought Chris would just take the opportunity to shine for himself, not hand it to you.

The Dean looks taken aback as well, but he nods slowly. “Very well then.” 

Everyone’s attention snaps to you, but you quickly recover and recollect yourself, turning on the professionalism you reserved for moments like this. “Yes. Thank you.”

You open your computer and quickly login, plugging it into the projector so everyone can view your screen. You had already pulled up your presentation and graphics, ready to present your idea. 

“What is all of this, Miss Y/L/N?”

You take a deep breath. “A prevailing issue that has come to the board’s attention is the food insecurity on campus. To solve this issue, I propose the University Food Pantry, to relieve hunger through the acquisition and distribution of food to those students who most need it. We need to lead our campus community in the fight against hunger.”

The rest of your audience looks intrigued, but the Dean doesn’t seem convinced. “And how does this concern me? I oversee educational affairs at the college, not what’s cooking for dinner.”

“Our university is, above everything else, a community. The difficulty of higher education is further compounded when hunger is a constant presence.” You try your best to keep your suave composure, ignoring the smug condescension in the Dean’s voice. “As a result, the Food Pantry will envision a campus in which every student, regardless of their socioeconomic status, has sufficient access to nutritious food. No one should have to make financial and dietary decisions in pursuit of a good education.”

“It all sounds expensive. Where would you even get the money from?”

You know that the Dean expects you to be thrown off by his question, but you’re ready. You switch through the slides of your presentation, showcasing the several charts and graphs you stayed up all night drawing. “The Dean’s Assistance Fund, through which the Pantry can provide flex allowances to undergrad recipients of Financial Aid.”

The Dean leans back in his chair, brooding silently while you wait for his answer with bated breath. But Chris speaks up instead.

“This is really good, Y/N,” Chris says, astonishing you even further. “The fund could finance other initiatives in collaboration with the pantry as well, like the university Meal Share app that my friend Jisung coded. He’s in the computer science department.”

“Thanks,” you say warily, still in disbelief that you have both his support and enthusiasm. The other students murmur in agreement, but it doesn’t feel real, getting along with Chris. 

Immediately, the Dean sits up, directing his gaze to match Chris’s. “A wonderful idea, Chris. We must talk further about this. Perhaps—”

It’s Chris’s turn to cut the Dean off. “It wasn’t my idea, it was Y/N’s, if you were listening to her at all, sir.”

The Dean looks embarrassed after being put into his place by the very student he was chatting up to, but you don’t give him time to say anything else, taking the chance to continue speaking. 

“Of course, we can’t be fully financed by the Dean’s fund, so I think the university board should put forth a collective effort to apply for the Park Grant, an international system that funds programs that address student reform.”

“You’ve put so much thought into this, Y/N,” Mina, one of the board members, says with a smile. 

You light up, forgetting the Dean’s less-than-enthused demeanor. “Thank you so much!”

The Dean sighs, staring up at the ceiling, but shrugs, inclining his head in reluctant approval. “The Park Grant deadline is in two days. You’ll have to write up the proposal and present it to the panel.”

You nod vigorously, already mentally adding it to your calendar. “Thank you sir, I know. I won’t disappoint you.”

The Dean points his pretentiously expensive fountain pen at Chris, directing your gaze to his. “But you’ll be presenting with Chris. You’ll oversee this endeavor together.”

Your soaring heart crashes, and you sit up in indignation, because of course there’s a catch. After undermining all of your efforts, the Dean would never trust you to do something like this on your own. And out of everyone, it has to be with Chris.

“Sir, I truly believe I can finish this on my own.” You can barely contain the anger quaking in your throat, but you give it one last attempt.

Chris glances at you and dips his head in accord. “I agree, sir. Y/N is perfectly capable. This is her project, after all.”

“Let’s not go near what our capabilities are. I am very well aware of what your abilities are.” The Dean’s words jab you in the chest one by one, making you wonder if he could go any lower. “You both are co-presidents. Do it together or don’t do it all.”

“Sir—”

“Please give me a chance—”

Both you and Chris are cut off by the Dean’s cold sneer. “That will be all.”

With the wave of his gnarled hands, the meeting is over, and the rest of the students exit as fast as they can to escape the tension, while you just sit there, staring at your black computer screen blankly. A moment later, you collect yourself, grab your belongings, cramming them into your arms, and run out of the room, trying not to cry all of your frustrations out, right then and there.

“Y/N, stop!” Chris calls out from behind you, and you groan inwardly. And of course he has to be there. You can’t even fall apart in peace.

“What do you want, Chris?” You sigh exasperatedly, turning to face him, even though all you really want to do is give him the finger and run back to your room.

The tension is palpable, and you see Chris’s concern. You don’t want it, though. You don’t want his concern, his sympathy, or his friendship. You just want to never see him again, but unfortunately, the universe will not let that happen. You should have accepted that when it put you through elementary, middle, and high school, and even college with him. 

“I’m sorry. I- I tried,” he says, running his fingers through his hair, combing through it before the soft, blond locks flop back into place on his forehead. He looks more beautiful than ever, the sorrow in his deep brown eyes and painted into the pout on his perfect lips. But God, you hate him.

You swallow, taking a step forward. Chris’s eyes widen in surprise, but he stays still as you proceed in an eerily calm voice. “Outside of work, don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think about me. I hate you, Chris, and I wish you never existed.”

For the first time, Chris is speechless, but you walk away, feeling anything but triumphant. You don’t want to see the hurt splayed across his face. And you don’t want Chris to see your own pain, the ugly root that digs deep into your heart and surges through your fingertips, the pain that has been there since the moment he took something from you. You hate Chris, and that will never, ever change.

“Come on, Soobin, tell me,” you whine, lightly kicking your legs at Soobin’s, where they hang over the edge of the treehouse you both built with your dads a few summers ago. The June weather is hot and sticky, and on days like this, you both like to climb up here and try to catch the faintest breeze that may come your way, ice creams in your hands and stories to trade on your lips.

Soobin coughs awkwardly. “Absolutely not, Y/N.” 

Tomorrow is the last day of middle school, and you’re determined to guess Soobin’s crush. You smirk at him, elbowing him in the side. Today, you suck on a blueberry popsicle, deliberating while trying not to let the dessert drip down your arms. 

“It’s the girl in your history class, isn’t it?”

“Nope.” Soobin side eyes you curiously, biting down on his own fudge ice cream cone. “Well, maybe I’ll tell you if you tell me yours.”

You blush, your mind immediately going to Chris, the boy you’ve liked since forever. Although you’re best friends with Soobin, Chris is also one of your good friends at school. And not to mention, the cutest boy in your entire school. 

Besides Soobin, Chris is also the only other person you’ve told about your autism. You were always shy and awkward growing up, and Chris pulled you out of that shell. 

It’s also why you get so nervous before tests. Since the time you nearly dropped your computer before a science quiz in fifth grade, Chris always brings you pudding before class assessments. You were scared to tell him at first, because you have been bullied in the past about it, but he had been nothing but kind and understanding. He’s never forgotten to bring you a pudding cup, and he specifically brings chocolate-flavored ones only, because you once told him you liked them. 

“You can’t tell anyone,” you swallow the last chunk of your popsicle, crunching down on the sugary ice. 

“I promise.” Soobin sits forward eagerly, his melting ice cream cone forgotten.

“It’s Chris,” you say dreamily, a lovesick smile playing upon your lips. 

Soobin burst out laughing, elbowing you in the side teasingly. “I knew it!” 

You and Soobin start arguing about who was more obvious about their respective crushes, but the thought of Chris stays lingering in your mind and clouding your thoughts. His devilishly handsome looks but angelic personality. The way he brings you those damn chocolate puddings, unaware of how you got sick of the flavor a long time ago but keep eating them anyway, just to see the beaming smile on his face. 

“Tomorrow,” you exclaim randomly, right after Soobin finishes telling you about all of the teachers he will miss over the summer, the perfect student he is.

“What’s tomorrow?”

“I’m going to tell Chris that I like him. Tomorrow,” you declare, trying to keep your voice strong and purposeful.

Soobin just stares at you with his jaw hanging open, because while you aren’t as soft-spoken as him, neither of you are particularly forward. Especially not in regard to your romantic lives. You both are the duo that watches your lost loves from afar, not confronting them up close. You’re surprised at your uncharacteristic behavior too, because you pledged to never give a teenage boy the satisfaction of knowing the power they have over you, especially not someone popular like Chris. But then again, Chris is different. You know it.

“Are you actually serious right now?” Soobin asks, still in shock. “Like, are you joking?”

“I’m serious, Soobin. I really like him.” You toy with your stained popsicle stick. “If he doesn’t feel the same, then I can just move on.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

He reaches over and gently pats you on the back, as if to comfort your nerves. “He’d be really dumb to not like you.”

You groan and flop onto your back, looking up at the dusty ceiling of the treehouse. Both of you just stay quiet for a moment, as you observe the soft cobwebs in the corners and the sunlight pouring through the cracks in the wooden rafters. You’re really going to do this.

“I’m still hungry.”

Soobin holds out his half-finished cone, little droplets of ice cream dripping onto the wood. “You can have the rest of this.”

“Thanks, Soob.” You accept his ice cream and both of you continue to reminisce about the school year and plan out everything you probably will never do during the summer, because both of you are master procrastinators.

But one thing you can’t put off is your revelation to Chris, and it’s going to happen. Which is why you find yourself trying to ignore the impending feeling of dread as you walk through the school hallways. Classes are over for both the day and the entire academic year itself, and there’s no better time to confess to your crush on the last day of school. That way, if something goes wrong, you can take the summer to recuperate and wallow in your humiliation. 

You weave through the students excited to trade their homework assignments for sunny days at the beach, with only one thought in your mind. Chris, Chris, Chris. You saw him in math class in the morning, and he looked so cute in his new Hawaiian-print shorts while he signed your yearbook for you. Now, you try to find him in the crowd, before he leaves and you’ll be unable to see him for another three months.

As you search, you’re momentarily snapped out of your Chris-induced daze when you bump into Jessi Ho in the congested hall. Knowing your luck, of course you would crash into the loser who constantly picks on Soobin for being shy. 

“Watch it, dumbass.” Jessi crosses her arms and flips her hair over her shoulder. Jay, her wannabe sidekick, gets up in your face, threateningly flashing the tattoos he got without his parents knowing. Although they look like a classic pair of bullies straight out of Mean Girls, you’re more irritated than intimidated right now. 

“I don’t have time for this.” You try to move past the terrible twosome, but Jay grasps your forearm roughly and pulls you back. You wrench your arm free and look at him in both disgust and confusion. “What the hell?”

“I’ll get to the point.” Jessi smirks, bringing her finger up to her head and pointing to her temple. “We know you’re impaired. Up here.”

Your blood freezes over like a river of ice, when Jessie emphasizes that specific word. Even though you’re not impaired, because autism isn’t an intellectual disability, you know what she means. She says it like an insult, like you’re the most useless of garbage, not worth a human being’s basic dignity. Jay bursts out laughing when he sees the horror on your face, slapping his distressed denim thigh like it’s the funniest joke he’s heard in the fifteen miserable years of his life. You just stumble back, shock and panic rising like a tidal wave in your chest. 

“W-what?”

Jessi cackles, clinging onto Jay like he’s her own walking cane. “How cute. She looks so lost.”

You shake your head, the tears building and your throat seizing in alarm. “How…?”

“A little birdie told me.” Jessi steps closer to you, and while every other time you are able to stand up to her, you can barely look her in the eye right now. “It all makes so much sense. Why do you barely talk to anyone but your pathetic bestie? You’re too scared. Why can you never sit still in class? You're just stupid.”

“That- that’s not how it works.” 

You’re grasping at straws, at a loss for words. Any other time, you’d have a snappy comeback ready. You know you struggle with social interactions, but you never thought of yourself as someone disruptive, or weird. You’re one of the highest achievers in your entire school, because sometimes, books make more sense than people. But now? You do feel stupid, exactly like Jessi said. And not because you’re autistic, but because you weren’t careful enough. You’ve been underestimated your entire life because you’re a girl, but now, you know you’ll also be an autistic girl to everyone else. Not who you are. And that’s why you tried your best to keep it on the down low, not because you felt embarrassed, but because this was a part of yourself that was entitled to you. Not anyone else.

“Sure, okay.” Jessi looks bored already, her eyes unfocused roaming the hallway, looking for her next target. “Whatever, stupid.”

Jessi slinks off without a second glance, and Jay follows suit, but not before doing a disgustingly inaccurate impression of autists, speaking gibberish slowly and exaggeratedly. You actually speak faster than other people, because you always say whatever is on your mind. But you don’t give a crap about them right now. Bullies like them will always have the worst to talk about others, and you would rather die than have them be the cause of your tears, ever. What’s really bothering you is who told them about your autism, and how that mystery person found out.

Swallowing roughly, you run over to the bathrooms, forgetting anything else. The only thing on your mind is not losing it in front of everyone. You will not give any of these people the satisfaction. Trying to keep your breathing even, you’re about to enter the bathrooms and relieve your emotions when you hear someone say your name. It doesn’t sound deliberate however, like you weren’t supposed to hear it.

You turn slowly, searching through the swaths of people walking, when your gaze lands on a small group of people gathered at the end of the hallway, a few lockers away from where you’re standing. And his back facing you, but you immediately recognize the person speaking. After the previous year of sitting behind him in Geometry class, you would recognize his curly locks perpetually dyed a soft blond and preppy polo shirt anywhere. Your ears perk up in interest, and while you feel horrible, you know one of Chris’s dimpled smiles would immediately brighten your stormy day, as they always did.

“Tell us the truth Chris!” You hear someone screech like an eager toddler, and you stop in your tracks like a deer in a traffic jam. It can’t be. 

“Fine, Y/N is autistic...”

Everyone around Chris bursts into uproarious laughter, and while you can’t see his expression, Chris begins saying something else that’s drowned out by all of the noise. It was Chris. He told everyone about your autism. Chris, the sweetheart who brings you pudding. Chris, the pretty boy who you have a hopeless crush on. Chris, your friend.

You stumble back and are pushed back into the after-school hallway rush, losing sight of Chris. But you already saw everything you needed to. It would have hurt less if it was anyone but Chris. But it wasn’t. You liked him. You trusted him. And he took that trust and stomped on it, shattering it forever. He took something from you. 

Your heart hardens as you blink away your tears. You mindlessly make your way outside, just in time to catch your bus home. Looking out of the window, with your time and your spirit petrified, you resolve to never, ever make the same mistake again. You will never again put your faith in someone who does not deserve it. 

“You look hungry.” 

You momentarily glance away from your laptop screen to shoot Chris a withering look that could scare a bear. Things are back to normal since your emotional confrontation after the Dean’s meeting. Your rude remarks and his annoyingly cooperative advances are both back for good.

“Shut the fuck up.”

The blistering ice in your voice doesn’t stop Chris from unzipping his backpack and pulling out one of his damn puddings. With a scoff, you turn back to your spreadsheet, taking care to shoot disgusting looks at Chris periodically. Chris just takes his time savoring his pudding, innocently watching your reactions like you’re a goddamn television set.

The hours pass by quickly; you get a good amount of work done, while Chris tries to be helpful by asking useless questions and doing nothing else. Typical. After finishing up a final follow-up email to the Dean’s much more tolerable secretary, you stretch out your arms with a yawn. The library will be closing in a few minutes.

“Where are you going?” Chris’s voice is interrogative as you stand up, like you owe him an answer, which makes you see red. If anything, he is the one who should be giving you an explanation, perhaps why he has to be such a two-faced monstrosity who wants to pretend everything is fine and in the past.

Screw civility.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your royal dopiness. I didn’t know I needed your permission to go home.” Your words are filled with a sickening sarcasm, and fortunately, it’s enough to shut Chris up.

You grab your belongings and stalk out of the personal meeting room that you reserved, barely noticing that everyone else sitting at the previously crowded study spaces has already left. Once in the security of the library bathrooms, you exhale all of the tension you’ve held inside of you and splash cool water onto your heated face. 

You stare into the mirror, seeing the same girl you’ve been trying to leave behind all of this time. You feel like that lost little girl trying to clutch the thought of someone who should be forgotten. You hate that you still have hope in you, that you’ve had it all of these years, that things can be fixed. You’ve tried, you really have. You’ve tried to leave the past behind you, to look forward and do exactly what needs to be done for your success. Here’s the truth: you act like a bitch towards Chris because he sucks and you hate him. Here’s another truth: you act like a bitch towards Chris because… you’re hurt. 

Especially because of your autism, you’ve had a more difficult run at making meaningful relationships. Your friendship with Chris meant that there was hope for you, and you truly believed that. But then he betrayed you, making you doubt yourself and your abilities. And following the incident, it felt like the world was working against you, and it still does. Maybe you could have healed with time, but the universe had other plans, taking care to put you through high school and college with Chris. And with your rotten luck, he’ll probably end up going to the same law school as you.

But you don’t have the time to worry about that right now. Your future depends on the present, and you’ll do your best to remember that. Your productivity mantra will keep you going, and nothing can stop you, from Christopher Bang to misogynistic old deans to… a locked bathroom door?

“What the hell?” You tug on the handle, but the door won’t budge. 

Fuck. 

You were so occupied with Chris that you forgot that after hours, all of the doors automatically lock to preserve campus security. Screw modern technology. You’re about to pull out your phone to try and call someone, but when your fingers meet an empty pocket, you realize you left it in your apartment. With an exasperated groan, you bang against the door as hard as you can and shout for help, even though you know it’s impossible for anyone to hear you and open the door from outside, the only way to free you. After a few minutes, you give up and slide down onto the floor, knowing you’ll have to spend the rest of this godforsaken night in this stuffy bathroom. Even if you somehow eventually gain the strength to bust this stupid door down, there was no getting past the padlocked main library doors. But seriously, which genius had the idea to lock the freaking bathroom doors? 

You close your eyes and place your hand over your heart, trying to calm yourself down. You’re perfectly safe. Alone in a big, empty library. Soon, the bathroom lights will shut down, probably. You wouldn’t know for sure, though. You’ve never been locked in the damn library bathroom before. Perhaps you’ll make friends with the old campus ghosts rumored to haunt this building. And maybe—

The click and turn of the door handle startles you, and you immediately jump out of the way, so your designated savior can let you out. And you’re not even surprised when your eyes meet Chris’s own confused ones. Because of course it’s Chris.

“Why are you still here?” You ask him in a slightly accusing tone, even though he literally has just helped you. You don’t even know why you feel the need to be so pointed, but you are nevertheless. 

“I was waiting for you to come back and didn’t realize the library was closed.” Chris lets out a sigh, rubbing his forehead as if it aches. You hope it does. “I have a question about the proposal.”

“Did you try calling someone? I forgot my phone.”

“Well, my phone doesn’t have any service.”

“Awesome.”

You don’t say anything further as you both exit the cramped corridor outside of the bathroom. In your hurry, you hadn’t even noticed how the librarians had turned off the lights, shrouding the building in darkness. Shivering, you subconsciously move closer to Chris, before you realize yourself and make sure to maintain a six-feet distance between your body and his.

“You can come closer if you’re scared,” Chris teases, noticing your discomfort. “We’re both stuck in this library together.”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, please. You’re the one who’s scared of the dark.”

Both of you fall silent as the remembrance sinks in. The day you confided in Chris about your autism, he had shared a secret about himself in return, albeit a less serious one. He had an irrational fear of the dark since he was a small child, and you knew any other fourth grader would have made fun of him for it. You had felt happy, then, that he could confide in you. 

The inadvertent memory feels unwelcome, uncomfortable. Chris clears his throat and looks away. “Not anymore.”

You and Chris decide to make camp in the library common room, since although the main building lights wouldn’t work, there were a few soft table lamps you could turn on for some clarity. You set your backpack down on the carpeted ground and snuggle into the large armchair by one of the bigger lamps. You glance at the decorative grandfather clock in the corner of the room, and it’s just past midnight. At that moment, you really just want to go home, put on your favorite pajamas, and fall asleep while watching your list of comfort anime films. Definitely not being locked in the damn library with Chris Bang, of all people. Since when was your life an episode of Arthur?

“So, you wanted to ask me something?” 

Chris fiddles with his hands for a minute, before looking away. “Never mind.”

You don’t even have it in you to be annoyed at this point. You’re just exhausted. You fall back against the tough cushion of the chair. It feels like you’re sitting on a clothed bag of sawdust. But it’s better than being out there, in the dark. And you hate to admit it, but you’re glad that you have someone to share the company of an empty library with, even if it’s Chris. 

“God, I’m hungry.” You touch your stomach, feeling the gnawing emptiness there.

“Would you like a—”

“No, I would not like a pudding, Chris.”

The minutes eventually tick by, and you feel yourself nodding off. You had told yourself earlier that you would stay alert, but the drowsiness drapes over you like a blanket, lulling you into reluctant sleep.

The menacing roll of thunder snaps you out of your uneasy slumber like the sound of a car crash. Immediately, you double over and tuck your head into your arms, trying to breathe. Your hands, warmed from being pressed under your thighs, go clammy with a cold sweat, and you can feel the tears well, barely keeping them at bay. When your go-to breathing technique doesn’t work, you gasp for air, jerking in your seat at every new crack of thunder invading your perception. 

Immediately, Chris crosses the space between your chairs and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hold. Sometimes, thunderstorms cause you to have a sensory overload, and you can’t cope. Chris knows this about you, after you got severely spooked after one particularly bad storm in the middle of class in sixth grade. Chris continues to rock your body slowly with his, whispering calming nothings into your ear. Your breathing slows and returns to a normal pace, but Chris just keeps rubbing slow, comforting circles on your back. 

Soon, the sound of the thunder dissipates, but you’re not entirely sure if it’s actually because the storm ended or if it’s because the overwhelming scent of Chris’s fresh, minty cologne has taken over your senses. 

You look up at Chris, the boy you hate more than anything, and whisper the very last thing that you ever thought you would say to him. “Thank you.”

Chris just nods his head slowly while you untangle yourself from his hold. He gets the hint and lets you scoot away from him, but it’s not far enough. Mere inches separate you from Chris, Chris who helped you without second thought because you were having a panic attack. Forget every ounce of hostility you have shown him, he hugged you like he was your lifeline, which he nearly could have been. 

He looks at you intently, his eyes glistening with emotion. “Why do you hate me so much?”

He’s asked this question multiple times before. The first time was back on the very first day of high school, when you both had English class together, and you staunchly ignored him. He continued to ask you the same thing over and over again, until your lack of acknowledgement made him finally stop and accept your new attitude towards him. But even though you’ve heard this question before, this time feels different. There is a certain vulnerability to his words, like he’s given up and is pleading for one last chance. 

A part of you still wants to try and maintain the animosity you use as a protective barrier, so people can’t tell what you’re really feeling. But you’re just tired of it all, and the question tugs at you too. Maybe you need to reply out loud for both of you to hear, not just him. Maybe you need to affirm your hatred for the dumb boy who waited for you to come back from the bathroom and then held you during a thunderstorm. Or maybe you need to affirm the fact that you may not hate him as much as you think, but you still do. You don’t know. You hate him the most because you don’t know. So, for the first time, you answer him.

“You broke my trust, Chris.”

“When?” Chris looks genuinely perplexed, like he has no idea what you’re talking about. 

With a scoff, you glare up at the ceiling, unable to look him in the eye. “You told everyone about my autism. When I specifically said that I wanted to keep it a secret.”

He shakes his head in a vigorous panic. “I didn’t tell anyone. I promise I didn’t. I promise it wasn’t me.”

Then who was it? 

As if he hears your thoughts, Chris sighs and indulges them. “Jessi. She saw your aide and followed him to his office. She was telling everyone about it, I swear.”

And it makes sense. His explanation checks out, and this all could have been a grand misunderstanding on your part, because of course Jessi would have snooped into your business. You couldn’t save your privacy for long with someone like Jessi hovering. And the thing is, you’re not even surprised. You knew in your heart the entire time that you could have been mistaken, that it was strange that Chris would have violated you like that, but it was just easier to blame him for your pain instead of confronting it. Or so you thought.

“And when everyone found out, I tried defending you. I never, ever would want to hurt you. Please believe me.”

Chris’s eyes are shining with earnesty, and you know he’s telling the truth. But that doesn’t erase all of the years you were hurting. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“It didn’t even occur to me that it was the reason you stopped talking to me. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder.”

You close your eyes and lean back. “Chris, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. This is on me.”

You feel your hatred towards Chris fade, and all there is left in you is a deflated pocket of sorrow. Your whole goal was to stay focused, but in reality, you’ve put so much time and energy into despising Chris. And that wasn’t the only way you hurt yourself. You also deprived yourself of what could have been a wonderful friendship.

“I do,” Chris insists, interrupting your thoughts. “I was stupid. I gave up so quickly. It hurt me too, not just you.”

You raise your head and tiredly gaze at him. Even in the dark, he looks beautiful. And it’s not merely his looks, but truly his character that shines through. You spent hours picking apart his personality, trying to find flaws and reasons to demonize him, not knowing that in the process, you were the monster yourself. You constantly complained about his lack of initiative and response, when in reality, you never let him actually do anything. You can’t even fathom why he’s being so understanding, or all of his attempts to work with you, even after your cold treatment of him.

“What do you mean, Chris?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this.” Chris groans. “I used to like you. There.”

You perk up. Well, now you’re shocked. “Wait, really? I used to like you, too!”

There’s disbelief written all over Chris’s face. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

Both of you burst into laughter, like you weren’t having a heart-to-heart five minutes ago about hating the other. It feels good to laugh, and for a second, you’re transported back into fourth grade, when you first met Chris. 

When you were a kid, you barely laughed, which worried the crap out of your parents. The doctors said it was common among individuals with autism, but it didn’t seem that way when you walked around, unsmiling and unfeeling. You weren’t completely socially inept, or exactly shy, but you preferred to keep to yourself. And then Chris had offered you a pudding. You felt like friendship was worth something, then. You felt seen. And maybe that scared you a little bit, being on the edge with someone who made you feel so deliciously raw. Maybe that’s why you didn’t fight back for Chris, because you would rather leave than be left. 

Chris rakes his fingers through his hair, the ghost of a smile playing upon his lips. “You know, I still like you.”

“Very funny.”

“I do.”

“You’re crazy. Stop that.”

“Maybe.” Chris throws his hands up and then lets them fall back down. “I like you and don’t want to stop.”

“After how I treated you for the past eight years?” You nearly laugh with how ridiculous he’s being. Hell, if you were in his place, you’d hate yourself.

“But you were hurt. A lot.” Chris shrugs. “You’ve become this amazing woman. You’re… incredible. Hardworking, talented, smart. Keeping in mind how you truly believed I was the cause for your pain, you excelled in spite of the fact that the universe kept pulling us together.”

You shake your head. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay. I’ll say it for you.” Chris looks down at his palms. “I like you, and that’s why I became co-president and faked having no service on my phone so we would be stuck in a library together.”

“Chris—”

“Please. Don’t say no. Not after eight years of me pining for you, knowing you’d never look at me again. Knowing I was falling deeper every time you cursed at me. Please, Y/N. I want to know you again, and you to know me. Please.” Chris’s expression is begging, and it pains you even more. 

You still hurt, but it’s a different kind of torture. It’s the kind of hurt that’s the result of yearning, the kind of yearning that stems from hatred, subjugated love, and uncertain acceptance. It’s the kind of hurt that tells you that you don’t deserve him. He deserves someone who isn’t a complete and utter coward. Someone who hasn’t been completely and utterly in love with him all this time, but too stubborn and too pained to admit it. Someone who isn’t completely and utterly awed by the magnificent man he is, but too bitter to say it. 

Chris reaches out his hand and places it on the side of your face, imploring you with his hesitant palm. You melt into his touch, when a mere few hours ago, you would have slapped it off of you. His skin is warm against yours, and the softness radiating from him pulls at you. You want to say yes. You want to open a blank page in the book. You want to start fresh with this beautiful boy in front of you.

“I’m sorry.” And you’re not just apologizing for pushing him away before, but now too. You don’t get to have him. 

“Just… why?”

“I can’t. I’m so sorry.” The repeated dialogue from you has a note of finality that even Chris’s insolence can’t break through. 

And just like that, all of the bridges you both repaired come crumbling down, but this time, it’s on purpose. You’ve always been quick to make decisions, never mulling over a choice for too long. You loved Chris. You hated Chris. You still love Chris. But you reject Chris. It’s easy to do, like one computer command after the other. But then Chris retracts his touch and wordlessly gets up from the armchair, curling up into his original position in the other chair. He’s facing away from you, you feel like you’ve struck an error message. The hours pass, and the softly snoring form of Chris reminds you of a blaring bad request, a pile of code that just won’t compile. Eventually, your computer shuts down too, and you share a temporary commonality with Chris when you fall asleep.

“Wake up dear.”

Your eyes fly open, and you sit up. Natural light pours in through the big windows, and you can feel your skin drinking in the sunshine. The librarian’s kind eyes are watching you with worry, but all you can think of is the night before. Perhaps it was all a dream. You were angry at Chris and then fell asleep after coming back from the bathroom. End of story. But then you feel that familiar ache in your heart, and you know you weren’t hallucinating everything that transpired between you both.

You turn to look at the librarian, who still seems immensely concerned, especially with your disoriented morning look. “I’m sorry, where is Chris?”

“He just left a few minutes ago, sweetheart. I was opening up for the day, when I saw him waiting to be let out at the front entrance. Nearly scared the life out of me.” The librarian places her hand on your shoulder. “He told me you were here.”

The librarian rushes off to her personal office to make you some tea, and you’re left alone in the common room. And no one else is here either, because today is Saturday and your university is supposed to be hosting a football game against a rival school. You look down at your body and notice a jacket wrapped around your body, one that definitely isn’t yours. You don’t have an expensive leather jacket that smells like Tom Ford cologne. It was freezing last night because the library doesn’t have heating, and Chris must have woken up in the middle of the night and draped it on you. You feel another pang in your heart as you think of Chris leaving without speaking to you. You deserve it, though.

As you sadly walk out of the library, you decide to skip the game even though as student body president, you should be there, representing the school. You reach your off-campus apartment, the one that you were so excited to finally lease a few months ago, and sprawl onto your couch, already feeling weary of the day. Nevertheless, you fish your phone out of the jumble of couch pillows and call Soobin, because he must be worried sick. You always text him goodnight before you sleep, and yesterday must have been the first time you didn’t.

“How could you?” He’s angry, a new color on him.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. The library—” You start, but Soobin doesn’t let you finish.

“Forget the library! I’m talking about Chris. He’s stepping down from the president role because of you, Y/N!” Soobin screeches into the phone, making you shoot up in alarm.

“What?!”

“I overheard him tell everything to Jisung. Y/N, this is wrong.” Soobin sounds calmer, but nonetheless distressed. “I know you love him. You shouldn’t let this happen.”

Your face heats up in surprise. “How—”

You hear Soobin tsk, and you just know he’s shaking his head, disappointed. “I didn’t even have to hear him talk to know that. There’s a fine line between love and hate. You can never stop talking about him!”

There’s no denying it now. You shouldn’t have underestimated Soobin; no matter how silly he can be, he is your best friend in the whole world after all. And maybe all the time, the only one you were lying to was yourself. 

You grab a pillow and cradle it, just wanting to cry it all out. You always have more intense feelings than others, but right now, your heart hurts so much that you doubt you can blame being emotional on your autism. 

“Soobin, what do I do? I don’t want to hurt him, but…” You sniffle. “I didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself. For eight years, I made my whole personality hate Chris. And now, he forgives me and I accept it? I’m so stupid, God.”

“I agree you’re stupid.”

“You’re not making me feel better!”

“Sorry.” Soobin sighs. “But you need to get over yourself and your drama. Stop making this harder for both of you, and just be grateful that you haven’t lost him. Yet.”

And with that, he cuts the call in a way very unlike Soobin, making you groan out loud in frustration. Now you want to punch your pillow, because your best friend is absolutely right.

It doesn’t take long for you to find Chris in the packed stadium. Through the throngs of students eager to trade their homework for a good home game, you see him standing with one of his friends in an upper corner of the stands. When you were younger, you were obsessed with Greek mythology and thought that Chris looked like Apollo, the god of the sun, with his golden curls and sunny disposition. Today, his light seems to have dimmed, as he watches the ongoing game with his hands shoved into his pockets and a forlorn look marking his gaze. 

“Chris!” You shout to try and get his attention, but it’s to no avail. The cheering crowd is ear-splitting, and you have no other choice but to climb up to the top.

Grunting, you hoist yourself up the steep stairs and try not to look behind you. If you do, you’ll fall off the stands with dizziness, which would be slightly undesirable compared to what you have to do next. Slightly. With the final step, you haul into Chris’s row, catching your breath and a first glimpse at how high up you really are. The players on the field look like tiny ants, and you feel your stomach drop. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. 

But it’s too late to turn back now, because Chris has already spotted you and hurries over. You tense and lose your footing, stumbling over someone as they kick their legs in anticipation. Great. 

“What are you doing here?” Chan places a toned arm around your shoulders and pulls you up, leading you to his seat. You clumsily collapse into the solid, curved plastic of the chair, and Chris follows next to you.

You then notice Chris’s friend, a heartbreakingly handsome man who you vaguely remember as Minho from your sophomore year literature class. He’s wistfully gazing at a very pretty girl who is chatting with Terry, Soobin’s old roommate, a few rows down. Minho then becomes aware of your presence and hurriedly excuses himself, rushing out of the aisle and disappearing into the crowd. You turn to Chris.

“Is he okay?”

Chris exhales, running his fingers through his hair, combing through it before the soft locks flop back into place on his forehead. “I… Minho’s just going through some stuff right now.”

“Seems like he’s not the only one.” You toy with your ring, twisting it around your finger. “I heard you’re resigning.”

“Who told you that?”

“Soobin. He was eavesdropping on you and Jisung today in Morningstar,” you respond. “Why are you leaving the role?”

Chris looks away from you and out at the field. Your university’s football team still hasn’t scored. “I’d just be in your way. This is for the best, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Please don’t. I need you.”

“You’ll be fine.”

This is what you thought you wanted all along, a world without Chris in it. Besides Student Council, neither of you share any classes or activities this year. If he left, you wouldn’t have to cross paths with him again. You could run the council well on your own, you know that. But you don't want to. You don’t ever want to imagine a world without Chris. He’s been by your side for so long now, and now when he’s about to step away do you truly realize how much you need him.

“Maybe. But I won’t be happy.” Against your better judgment, you reach over and grasp his hand, making Chris start in surprise.

Chris shakes his head, still skeptical. “All I’ve ever done is make you unhappy, Y/N. You don’t want me to be around.”

You sigh, knowing he’s not going to come around, not without the right kind of persuasion. “I was dreading having to do this.”

“Do what?”

You reach into the small purse hanging off of your shoulder and pull what you had scoured the entire city for in the past few hours. “Would you like a pudding?”

Chris looks bemused, staring down at the small cup of chocolatey goodness in the delicate palm of your hand. 

“Or do you want a kiss?” You stare at Chris intently, trying to ignore the whammering beat of your heart. “What will it take for you to stay in your position?”

“W-what?”

“Or I could be your girlfriend. Because I really want to see where this goes.” You take a deep breath. “A bunny once told me that I just need to get out of the past. I’ve left it behind, and I’m looking forward, Chris.”

“Fine.” Chris swallows roughly and bites back the slow smile spreading on his features. “Can I have all three?”

“You never make it easy, do you, Chris?” 

Before he can quip back at you, you grasp the collar of his t-shirt and tug him to you, your lips meeting just as the home team finally scores a touchdown and the crowd erupts in applause. You couldn’t care less though, because although the preteen you is jumping up and down like the rest of the cheering fans, the adult you is smiling into the lips of the man you definitely do not hate. Actually, you love him. 

Chris slings his arms around your waist and pulls your body closer to his, sweetly laughing into your ear when you both come up for air. “Am I a good kisser, or what?”

“Shut up.” 

And you’re kissing him again. Warmth blossoms in your chest, sparks igniting as you lean into each other after years of loving, hating, and longing. Your arms roving over each other coax all and any remaining hesitation left in you both, and it feels so right. You treasure the soft sighs of pleasure and elation spilling from Chris’s lips, his sounds more deafening than any overzealous football fan’s rally cry. 

“So, do I not get the pudding, or…?” Dimples cut across Chris’s cheeks as he pulls away from your lips once more just to shoot you a cheeky grin.

You roll your eyes playfully and reach into your lap, tearing open the foil wrapper on top of the pudding cup before handing it to him. “You and your pudding.”

“You know you love it.”

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Stray Kids Mafia (Ongoing)

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"We need to have a talk."

My fingers trembled as they traced the words on the paper. Y/n. They knew my name. My pulse began to race, breathing increasing significantly. My eyes flicked between my front door and my sliding door out to the patio, ensuring both were securely locked. Panic began to set in as I scurried across the floor and drew the curtains, shutting out any light from the outside world.

I should have known.

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Current WC: ~111k words

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Synopsis: After years spent away from the family, two strangers start frequenting your place of work, only to bring daunting news. Flung back into the world of the mafia, you try to adapt to your new normal and work alongside a team of eight skilled members to uncover a mystery and take down an enemy who keeps themselves in the shadows.

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

Disclaimer: Any portrayal of Stray Kids or any other idols in this story is purely fiction and do not at all reflect their own personalities or how I view them as a person, it is purely for the sake of the story.

Please do not copy or repost my work

Artwork by StreetLightMoth

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

#stray kids mafia #stray kids #skz mafia #skz #lee know x reader #lee know enemies to lovers #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #jeongin #fanfiction #stray kids freeze #lee know mafia #lee know mafia au #alternate universe #lee know fic #drunkewok #tiger inside

[pickles-24]

All Eyes on You (Felix)

3- You’ve got to be kidding

Author's note: This is my first fic In a while please be patient. ( Daisy Lyn is the Musian name - this is not real-)

PAIRING: College Felix!! x Musician fem reader!!

GENRES: social media au, smut, fluff, angst, mystery, drama, enemies to lovers, college au, celebrity au, non-idol au

WARNINGS: cursing, slow-burn, alcohol/drug consumption, addiction, sexual jokes/ sexual content, toxic relationships, mental health disorders, trauma, mentions of abuse, offense jokes (NOT RACIST NOR ANYTHING LIKE THAT), Felix and MC have a small age gap (He's older by 2 1/2 years) THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY LINKED TO THE REAL DEALS!

SUMMARY: You're an up-and-coming musician with a decent platform. You and a Friend of Felix's get close eventually leading you to meet Him. Liking each other at first, wasn't in the cards due to several misunderstandings. Throughout the year You start gaining attention from more than just your fans. All eyes are on you.

"Oh, so that means you're also the guy who flipped me off earlier." You said not impressed. You turned back to the group who was talking amongst themselves, " Hi, I'm Y/N nice to meet you guys." You say as one of the guys smiles and introduces himself, "Hi, I'm Chris, I'm a senior nice to meet one of our incoming freshmen." He had sort of an accent. The other guys had wandered off and so did Soojin and Minnie so you and Chris sat down to talk.

"So how do you know I.N?" He asked with a friendly smile still on his face. "Oh, we just met at orientation, and we found out we share some classes," You paused, "Sorry if this is inappropriate to ask but where is your accent from?" Chris gave you a small laugh, "No you're fine, I'm from Australia, My cousin and I moved here nothing short of 9 years ago." That actually caught you off guard, mostly because you didn't really know what you were expecting but you weren't expecting Australia.

"Is your cousin also a senior here?" You grew curious and felt that you could be making new friends. It was scary for you at first when you thought you'd be alone on campus without your friends. "Uh no he's a junior, but he and and I are in the same major," Chris said as a text lit up your phone. "Lucky I don't know anyone in my major. I was lucky I.N minors in business so I wouldn't be completely alone."

Chris furrowed his brows, "What's your major? Maybe one of our guys has the same one." You didn't think of that before you forgot that you were here to meet people and make friends on campus. "I'm majoring in music." When you said that he got up excitedly, "Oh My cousin and I major in music too, Let me introduce you two." You agreed grabbing your phone and seeing a text from I.N.

" I.N said they're at air hockey." You mention as you follow Chris to meet his cousin, you give a sigh of relief knowing that you aren't alone, and even if it was just a few people you are grateful you met them. As you approach the rest of the group you see I.N. and Minnie going at it in air hockey. "Hey guys, If you didn't know this is Y/N, She's a music major." You give a little wave to the group of guys looking at you, and you're gaze falls on one. The douchebag with the blue Camero. Looks like he wasn't pleased to see you either given the glare he was shooting you.

But before you could think about it any further one of the guys stuck his hand out, " Hi I'm Changbin," You shook his hand as he pointed to another one of the boys, "That's Jisung by I.N, Next to him is Minho, Then Seungmin, and the one leaning on the wall like he's in a movie is Felix." Changbin pointed around introducing each one of them. All of them either gave you a wave or said hi except for Felix who kept glaring.

Chris called him over, "Y/N, Felix is my cousin." In your mind the only thing you could think was, you've got to be kidding. "I'll let you guys talk." Then he went off to go talk to Soojin. You looked at him and decided it was better for you to talk first, "I don't particularly like you, that being said I am sorry for calling you an asshole." Then you walked off not having anything else to say to him. You made your way back to Chris who was talking to Soojin about Kappa Kappa Alpha. "Oh hey Y/N I was just talking to Soojin about a party tonight, wanna come? We're all going Soojin and Minnie said they're up for it."

"Y/N you haven't taken a night off in a while, you should go," Soojin said referring to the fact that you have been cooped up in your apartment for a week straight before today. You sighed," Fine I'll go, but I can't DD." You say to your best friend. "Well 3 of us stay sober, 4 people fit in each car so we can pick you up and take you home." You have never been to a party before, and you weren't exactly sure if you knew how to party. Nevertheless, you agreed to go to the party.

Everyone had left the arcade a few hours later to prepare for the party. You dropped Soojin and Minnie off and drove home to get ready before one of the boys picked you up. You decide to do your makeup first then get dressed. You got out your makeup bag as well as a little Altiods container you used to keep your blunts. You and your friends were different in that, they smoked for fun, and you did it to feel like someone again. To feel like yourself again.

Was it a good coping mechanism? Probably not. But did you care? No. You connected your phone to the speaker and started playing music. You grabbed your lighter and sparked the blunt taking a deep drag. You begin to do your makeup as NO RAINBOWS by Chase Atlantic plays. You finish your makeup and your blunt, so you walk over to your closet. You pick out your outfit and text your friends to see what they're wearing.

You realize you're nowhere near high enough for this party so you decide you have time to smoke another blunt. Eventually, you notice it's dark out and that you're as shit. The clock reads 9:35 and you gather your things. And because you don't know when to stop you grab another blunt and head outside to wait. Now you don't even remember how much you smoked, and a familiar car rolls up. It honks and you make your way towards it.

The front seat is empty so you open the door, greet everyone in the car, and sit down closing the car door. Felix takes one look at you and utters the words, "You've got to be kidding."

taglist: @seungseung-minmin

#stray kids #k pop #music #skz #skz stay #kpop #college au #enemies to lovers #lee felix #skz felix #skz imagines #i.n skz #i.n #i.n stray kids #bang chan #chan skz #chan stray kids #chris bang

[skz-fanfic-recs]

i wish i could run away from everything except you by nymphare

chanXfelix

149,814 words

21 chapters

lee felix recently graduated from seoul university, where he moved through university as a gray mouse, unnoticed by everyone. he works as an underpaid it support technician at a firm that doesn't value its employees at all. however, felix endures it. he has to endure it; if not, debt collectors - out to collect his father's debt - will show up at his door demanding money.

every month is a struggle; he barely manages to pay his rent, study debt, and the debt left by his deadbeat father. for felix, a proper meal consists of bread from his favorite corner shop with some off-brand chocolate spread. it does help that fresh cove, the gentrified hell-hole of a grocery store, offers free samples almost every single day!

everything gets a lot worse when felix is forced to find a new job and realizes that the obnoxious rich bastard from fresh cove is his new boss.

who the fuck decided that bang chan, the most annoying person in the entire world, was to be his boss? had it not been for the great salary provided by racha, then felix would have gladly drowned chan in a bucket of boiling hot coffee - though that would ruin his perfectly curled hair and beautiful smile. fuck that shit. felix was furious.

#skz #stray kids #ao3 #archive of our own #han jisung #lee know #lee minho #fanfic recommendations #bang chan #hyunjin #seungmin #jeongin #changbin #han #side minsung #chanlix #fluff #smut #enemies to lovers #slow burn #lee felix #felix lee #felix #felix skz #felix stray kids #skz felix #stray kids felix #felix centric #bangchan #skz bang chan

[lieslab]

Introducing: Taste

"Kiss me again."

"No."

"I'm not asking you Changbin, I'm telling you. Now, kiss me again!"

"You're drunk and we shouldn't be doing this. You don't know what you're saying, we'll talk about it in the morning."

"I won't have the courage in the morning!"

"It wasn't supposed to end up like this."

_ _ _

Taste is a completed fanfic that has been uploaded to both Wattpad and Ao3 that stars Changbin: A big-hearted softie who hides his love and soft nature behind a wall of annoyance and anger and Lennon: A girl who just moved to South Korea and is trying to escape her tragic past.

Contains:

a slow burn enemies to lovers

Changbin briefly being a dumbass for a few chapters

casual chaos from the rest of SKZ

a dead mother and daddy issues

insecurities

a lot of tears

quite a bit of comfort/hurt from Changbin and other SKZ members

Felix being Felix

Han getting pissed off at uno

Hyunjin and his theatrics

Minho mothering

Chan dishing out the usual father advice

Seungmin coming up with a dare that changes the course of the whole story

I.N having to break up a fight

out of pocket angst

smut

did I mention handcuffs come into play??? because that happens too

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #seo changbin #changbin skz #changbin fanfic #enemies to lovers #slow burn #bang chan #lee know #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #kpop #kpop fanfic #skz angst #skz comfort

[str4ykin9s]

Hiii!

I heard that you reckoned minchan fics!

Can you recommend some minchan enemies to lovers

thanks!

Yeah hiii!

Omgg you are the first person to ask minchan recs!

tysm for asking <3

enemies to lovers huh?

Well I recommend

Freefall by Wooyoungsthighs on Archive of Our Own it has smut in it and is also marriage of convenience

Carnations by Str4y it also has smut and is childhood friends to enemies to lovers

Naughty or Nice by Bundlino is a bit spicy but is good enemies to lovers

I Would Never Fuck My Arch Nemesis by Bundlino you can tell by the title 😏

The Forever App by Str4y is childhood enemies to lovers

Boys only want love if it's torture by hanjispartner academic rivals to loverss

I hope you like the above suggestions

Have a nice day!!

#bang chan #lee know #stray kids #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #enemies to lovers #smut #minchan skz #ao3 skz

[skazoo]

dance of the thieves.

↳ han jisung x f!reader x bang chan

in the casino, the cardinal rules are to keep them playing and to keep playing them. what happens when they play you?

length. 3.4k

genre. con artist!au, poly!au, kinda enemies to lovers, crack, fluff, a little bit angsty,

warnings/tags. language, mention of sex, mention of violence, alcohol consumption

networks. @kflixnet

notes. here i am again with a fic vaguely inspired by the daydream i had while watching ocean's 11 for the 10th time! yay!

i wrote this in the middle of the night because i was scared of losing the inspiration but i like how it turned out...

ALSO! 87% sure there will be a part 2 bc i'm kinda a slut for this trio. just kinda tho. a nee way, pls tell me if you want to be tagged when pt.2 is out, i'll add you to the taglist!

i'm desperate for feedback and i love comments with your opinion!

(cross-posted on ao3 only)

navigation

it is a truth universally acknowledged by your community that monaco is the playground of the rich and stupid.

monaco is curated gardens and high palm trees; it is fancy cobblestone streets and luxurious sports cars, but above all, monaco is ‘le casino de monte carlo’.

high, ornate ceilings, lavish décor, and artificial bright lights mixed with the incessant fading music in the background are your home and your extremely competitive workplace.

in a business in which predators far outnumber preys, it is vital to assert dominance and to have clear in mind what the goal of the hunt is. the reward one wants to take home.

it is essential to individuate the competition and to always watch your back. always.

that’s why, when you enter the big fancy doors of the casino or ‘arena’ —as your fellow con artists like to call it— you take your time to scan the lobby and the adjacent bar, letting your trained eyes wash over the group of business magnates sitting on the plush sofas on your right and on the few bent heads hovering over refined drinks on your left. 

every time you catch a hard pair of eyes already staring at you with a competitive ferocity, an imperceptible hand movement of someone of your ‘area of expertise’, you let a finger elegantly tap on the small bag you’re mindlessly holding.

tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap.

seven, including you. 

they’re all eyeing you warily but only one worries you tonight.

the suffused lights of the bar create a coppery halo around his dark hair and with his perfectly ironed white dress shirt, his elegantly pierced ears, and his small waist you reluctantly understand how his targets always fall for his charms so easily.

you look at him from afar with contempt and you miss a certain pair of unfamiliar eyes following your every move. 

when you reach your self-appointed nemesis at the bar he fakes surprise and with slightly raised eyebrows he puts the drink back on its coaster and turns his body to look at you. amused eyes take you in and you have to resist the urge to scoff at his flirty antics. 

he clears his throat and offers a small nod, taking your hand and helping you onto the stool beside his. “L/N.”

“han.”

when you met han jisung for the very first time you were under all aspects a child. and he was too. 

watching from the sidelines monaco’s fauna come and go from the casino was confusing, especially for two orphans without anything in their name in one of the most disgustingly lavish places ever. 

at age twelve you were running in the streets swindling unaware tourists, snickering away in the warm night, and splitting everything in half. it was fair and organized and you were incredibly proud of the little business you had going on.

 

at fifteen you started to put up a little 'con show', more complicated, more cunning. he talked the victims to death and at his signal, you came into action leaving your target with empty pockets and a sour taste on their tongue. it was thrilling and you were so good at it, you managed to put aside some money for the ‘ji and Y/N leave hell’ fund. 

unfortunately for you, you were not the only one to see your great potential.

as soon as jisung hit legal age, your modest two-bedroom-one-bathroom apartment was stormed by official recruiting letters from the main groups of con artists in the city. they wanted him and he desperately loved that feeling of being wanted, of being needed; it made him feel powerful.

when you started to find in his eyes the same desire for ‘liberation’ you saw in the eyes of your mother when she left your six years old hand on the steps of the decadent orphanage, you made the decision that would have protected your heart in the most jealous way possible. you left him first.

you still remember how he looked: confused, lost, angry.  

but the next day your side of the apartment was completely empty, your keys were left on the hook on the entrance wall and he had wasted no time accepting one of the most well-paid jobs in monaco’s illegal life.

you think about your shared past every time you look at him, even now, as he signals the bartender to make your usual and he does it with such confidence that you have to look away from a mix of annoyance and nostalgia, regret, longing. 

“didn't see you there, colleague.”

“didn’t see me? you’ve been staring at me from the moment i stepped foot in here, colleague.” your tone is mockingly sweet but you know he can’t (or won't) understand it.

he winks. 

always, always so flirty, and for what? 

“maybe i was but can you really blame me? coming here looking like this… who could resist such a vision?”  

you scoff tiredly. “hopefully not my target. i kinda want to get home early tonight.”

he nods in acknowledgment and swirls the dark content of his glass with mellow boredom.

you take a peek at the time on his expensive watch and sigh. just a few more minutes and your prey will walk into the casino. just a few minutes and you clock in for the evening. 

“who are you here for today?” your lack of interest must not be that evident because his eyes sparkle with mischief and excitement.

he finishes eating an olive and smiles to himself. “music prodigy, genius producer, got even a bunch of big names lining up for him. got rich really fast and wants to spend everything he has in here tonight.”

he takes a sip of his sickening sweet drink and licks his lips; dark gaze never leaving your eyes. he’s got your attention and not only for his shameless seduction tactics. 

he’s dangerously close to describing the man you’re waiting for tonight.

“he was here for the grand prix but i’ve asked around,” he gets closer and you can feel his sweet cherry breath tickle your nose, “and he’s going back to seoul tomorrow morning so it should be a quick job.”

“a music producer?” the more he talks the more you feel that familiar annoyance bubble in your chest.

 

it’s not unusual for mishaps like this to happen but why do you always have to choose the same target as han fucking jisung? or way better: why does han fucking jisung always have to choose yours?

“yeah, he’s pretty young and a little bird told me he just broke up with his girlfriend so…” his sing-song voice tells you he’s waiting for you to finish his sentence.

you turn away from him and set your tense eyes on the main entrance. “so what? are you trying to find love? you know that no one loves a liar, right?” 

he scoffs out a laugh. “it’s not that.” he’s starting to get up from his stool and you feel the urge to follow his actions, getting into position before someone can take advantage of your high heels and sweep your ‘date’ for the evening right from under your nose. 

“all i’m saying is that he’s sad and alone and more malleable than ever. i bet i can make him give in in less than an hour-“

“what’s his name, han?”

his smile reaches his eyes and you kinda want to wipe it off with a well-placed slap. “why? you wanna join us?”

“han.”

“okay, okay. chill… his name is bang christopher chan.”

the soft music coming from the grand piano crackles like a broken vinyl and you wish that looks could kill because you are right. again.

“jisung.” you feel your angry voice echo in the small space between you.

wide eyes and a burst of nervous laughter is all he can muster when you stare at him like you want to wipe him off the face of the earth. “what? what did i do? why are you looking at me like that?”

you lower your voice lest anyone hears you. “what did you do? are you sure you want me to tell you what the fuck you did? because i won’t be cute about it.” 

he rolls his eyes like he always does to de-escalate with you, the initial worry, fades into a smug nonchalance. “just tell me and stop being so dramatic, Y/N. also, be quick, i have a job to do.” he’s looking around expectantly. it’s mostly for dramatics —you know it— but you’re getting antsy.

he goes to leave but you grab his arm and squeeze it so hard that it hurts. “wanna go toe to toe with me, han? he is my fucking target, i’ve been gathering information on him for days and i won’t let you take him away from me, understand?”

and there it is. that horribly attractive smirk. the one where a corner of his mouth is more raised than the other, the one that’s always there when he makes you lose your shit, the one you remember all too well. “but sweetheart, he’s not yours.” his lips come in a pout. “he’s actually free real estate for everyone in here and i bet my ass, he’ll be far too gone for me before you even have the time to get him with your little dirty tricks.”

you’re about to bite back but before you can threaten him more, the most stunning man you’ve ever seen in your short, mediocre life, takes a hesitant step into the golden hall.

he looks completely lost and his innocent dark eyes look around nervously, softening his sharp features. his platinum hair frames his face perfectly and reflects the artificial light of the hall making him look like an angel.

beside you, a blushing jisung tries to regain his signature charming composure before diving in the crowd and chasing after the unsuspecting music prodigy.

and just like that, the dance of the thieves begins. again.

—

you’ve been sitting at this poker table for what feels like hours and your target has lost each and every game, but still finds the motivation to keep taking out of his pockets what seems like infinite fiches; an ever-full flute of sparkling million-dollar champagne in reach and hands softly moving up and down yours and jisung’s thigh.

the evening is fading into night more quickly than you would have liked to if you were under normal circumstances. ‘fantastic, you’re going to have to work overtime again’ is what you would have thought if the company you had was horribly uninteresting but that —fortunately or not— is not the case.

when you and your unintentional ‘hunting mate’ attacked what you both thought was an unsuspecting prey with every sweet word and praise in your modest arsenal, you didn't take into account that bang christopher chan was a huge and terribly skilled flirt.

how can a single man make two of the best con artists —actors, if one will— in the city feel like flustered teenagers talking to their crush? you can’t really understand it and more often than not you just have to exchange an unbelieving look with jisung to see if he is actually seeing this shit too and you’re not just hallucinating in the middle of the casino.

you’re lost in your conspiracy theories when chan’s warm hand taps you twice just below your chin. “something on your mind, baby?”

you gulp and try to hide your blushing face from your sworn enemy into the blond’s shoulder. “no chan, just… i don’t understand why you keep playing if you haven’t won anything.” your tone is mellow, sweet. you see jisung slightly cringe from the other side of the prey.

chan lets out an airy laugh. his cheeks are flushed with the shade of alcohol and you swear you’re being hypnotized because you can’t recognize yourself as you smile fondly at the soft dimples that appear on his angelic face. “you know what they say, baby: ‘lucky at cards, unlucky in love’, and we wouldn’t want that, right hannie?”

jisung almost chokes on his saliva at the slightly slurred nickname and sticks to nodding his head no. it makes him feel giddy having the man’s hot breath tickle his neck. he’s always been sensitive there, you would know, he thinks.

you both watch in awe and, admittedly a little worry as chan elegantly drowns his fourth or fifth glass of champagne of the night, and you and jisung seem to be thinking the same thing because he glances at his wristwatch and then smirks at you in a way that assures you that he’s convinced he’s about to take home the drunk price without breaking a sweat.

“he’s mine, accept it,” he whispers when chan focuses on losing again at the table.

“you really wish you could take him, right?”

“alright, try to see it from my point of view: he’s been all over me the entire time and- ‘hannie’? do you expect him to choose you over me? like for real?”

you unceremoniously kick him under the table. “i’m really trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective but i just can’t get my head that far up my ass, i’m sorry.” he fakes offense. “one useful thing you can do is help me get him out of here, c’mon.”

you manage to get chan’s massive, statuary, greek-god body out of the cushioned armchair not without any struggle. he’s now hanging between the two of you, arms slung over your shoulders and you’re trying your best to drag him towards the garden maze, away from prying eyes.

“do you two need a place to stay tonight? you guys are so hot, you know?”

jisung chuckles softly. “are we now, channie?”

you almost lose balance as the blond abruptly stops in his tracks and pins han against the bushy walls of the maze. “i really do think that, baby and you can’t even begin to understand what i would do to the two of you right now if i could.” the last part is breathed out as a promise and at this point, you’re too hot and bothered by the way he possessively holds your waist that you’re ready for everything and anything he has in mind. “you would like that, wouldn’t you Y/N?”

“i- uh, yeah?”

“good girl, i knew you would…” a sentence so unimportant, so utterly insignificant as he slowly starts painting a trail of wet kisses down jisung’s neck, and in response, your colleague lets out a breathy moan.

then chan is laughing again and you know he’s not yet sobered up.

“what the fuck is happening to us!?”

you can see the center of the maze and he starts dragging chan’s body again but it’s evident he’s as shocked as you are. “i don’t fucking know! i just know i want him to do… unspeakable things to us.”

you choke on spit. “us!?”

eyebrows raised to the sky, eyes that look like they’re going to pop off any second now and he raises both his hands, shrugging his shoulders. you don’t even hear the deaf thump of chan’s body dropping dead on the grassy trail. “i guess!? if you were having a hard time noticing, i like you! love you even! since I was old enough to understand what these feelings meant!”

“ji, w-what?” you called him that a lot when you were partners and you can see on his face that he remembers.

“yeah… and- and you hurt me Y/N. you hurt me so much and despite that i still-”

you grimace but you have to stop him. “jisung i’m so sorry but where is chan? where did he go?”

“-what?”

you get back to back with jisung as the lights of the maze shut down for a second and are immediately switched back on, pointed straight at your faces, constricting you in a prison of spotlights. 

from the bushes, in the dark, you can vaguely make out seven silhouettes approaching you slowly, menacingly.

“by the way i just told you that i love you and you didn’t even acknowledge me,” he mutters as to not draw too much attention.

“oh, sorry i’m not reacting to this news with appropriate excitement but i’m really freaking out right now!”

“you don’t have to worry as long as we’re together.”

you throw a surprised look over your shoulder. “oh wow, so now you’re staying?”

“why, what did you expect?”

“i expected you to run, jisung! to leave me just like you did before!

“did i run Y/N?! or was it you? you told me you didn’t need me anymore and i didn’t want to be the weight that kept you from living the life you wanted!”

“you say you loved me but you accepted the job! you didn’t even ask me to stay!”

“because you left our apartment before i could even try anything! i didn’t want the job before you ran away from us!”

a loud and mocking laugh reveals the first of the looming figures from the bushes “my god, chan they’re hilarious, you were right.”

and then he emerges from the shadows in all his sober glory. “now, now minho, you know i don’t lie.” he stares intensely at you and smirks. you can’t even form a coherent thought.

another figure comes into the light. this one is blonde like chan but is dangerously swinging a bat in circles and jisung is sure he doesn’t like that. “i like the chick but are you sure i can’t punch him in the face?” 

“yes, i’m sure hyunjin. calm down.”

“what if i break his nose just a little bit? i mean, it’s not like i’m killing anyone! 

a deep voice from the back echoes in the air. “what do you want? a gold star?!”

you drop your arms from the fighting stance you had. “i’m sorry but who are you all?”

silence drops. the only thing that resonates in the small center of the maze is chan’s feet crunching the gravel under his elegant shoes. when he’s close enough that you can smell his cologne he opens his arms and six shadows spread out on his sides like wings. “we’re stray kids,” he pauses, “and you’re going to be working with us from now on.”

“and like i already said, i don’t lie. i do want to do things to both of you.”

“to us?” jisung’s voice is high with excitement.

“to you, with you, we'll see where this journey takes us, won’t we baby?” 

you can’t stop yourself from letting out a little squeal and he smiles. 

“see, you two are too much fun to rot in this city.”

SIX MONTHS LATER. 

you wish you could stay like this forever. you really do. but you have a job to prepare for and they know it too even if they're blatantly choosing to avoid the truth.

the bed sheets smell clean, the tropical sun is warm on your skin, a soft breeze makes the white curtains fly around the room, and you can hear the sound of the waves crashing on the shore just outside the beautiful beach house with the occasional loud laughter of changbin who's playing some stupid game with the others on the porch.  

so, yes. it's hard to get up from the white-lined bed especially if you're basically head-locked into the strongest and bulkiest chest you've ever had the pleasure of sleeping on.

you shift slightly and chan whines from under you. he can be such a baby when things are not to his liking and you honestly love this drowsy part of him.

you prop yourself on his chest and start to leave on his smooth chest little pecks, bites. some are harsher and you can feel him tense. "channie, baby, i have to get things ready for tonight." he stirs. "and you and ji should too, you know?"

at his name being uttered with such affection, the other man slowly blinks and fondly stares up at you from his sheltered position under chan's arm. he watches you as you talk to your lover and can't help but smile. just smile at how happy and calm you look despite the uncertain past he knows you both had.

you catch him watching you and he's happy you don't keep to yourself the airy chuckle that leaves your parted mouth.

you lean over chan's body to reach your old nemesis. one kiss on the forehead, one on the nose, and the last -the most important, jisung thinks- on his mouth. sweet, long.

at the commotion, chan releases you from his hold and turns to hug the other man. 

now you can prepare for what awaits you all this evening. 

the all-time greatest heist of your life.

#han jisung x reader #bang chan x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #kflixnet #han jisung x y/n #han jisung x you #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n #stray kids au #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #enemies to lovers #con artist au

[bunnypig18]

Skz as Text Posts (16) | (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (17)

#stray kids #text posts #incorrect quotes #stray kids text posts #stray kids incorrect quotes #stray kids memes #han #hyunjin #hyunsung #enemies to lovers #felix #bang chan

[puppy-minnie]

minho: I'm not doing too well.

chan: What's wrong?

minho: I have this headache that comes and goes.

*seungmin enters the room*

minho: There it is again.

#stray kids #incorrect quotes #skz #lee know #seungmin #bang chan #2min #enemies to lovers #im a 2min enthusiast if you cant tell #poor chan

[thunderousone]

Chapter 1

Summary: In a world where thunderstorms shape destinies, Eirene's fate is bound to Vír, a godlike being cursed to summon thunderstorms in penance for his past. Eirene discovers an astonishing power within herself and Vír helps her learn how to tame it and in turn Eirene helps him tame himself.

Inspired by Thunderous by Stray Kids

TW: profanity, (eventual... it's slow burn get over it) graphic depictions of sex, pain kink, childhood trauma, parental trauma, chronic pain

Rating: 18+, MDNI

Comments, likes, and reblogs are appreciated 🤍

masterlist | read it first on ao3

Raindrops danced upon the wide brim of Eirene's weathered hat as she ventured out into the relentless deluge. Her attire was entirely practical, designed for survival is strapped to her thigh, resting comfortably within arm's reach. Her bow and what few arrows she still had lay in a quiver strapped to her back, knocking around as she walked.

She wandered to the outskirts of town and arrived at a narrow footbridge that stretched high above the churning waters below. The rain poured unabated into the vast basin beneath, an unyielding cascade that seemed to mock the resilience of the land's few remaining inhabitants.   

Eirene pressed forward, gritting her teeth at the wet that was gripping her stringy hair as the wind flung it in her face. Her destination lay beyond the other side of the footbridge, in one of the last remaining bastions of green that had managed to withstand the ceaseless storms the past few years. Here, despite all odds, life still clung tenaciously to the earth, though Eirene knew its grip weakened with each passing day. 

As she approached the grassy forest, her gaze lifted to the towering trees above. The game had become elusive. Not that there was ever much, but the animals that remained wild here have been driven to the highest branches by the ever-rising waters. Eirene entered under the light canopy and began quietly examining her surroundings.  

Tall rainforest trees provided a little shelter from the pelting rain and wind. She wiped her hair from her face and repositioned some strays under her hat. The raindrops hit her waxed cotton jacket with thick thuds as she situated herself and took in the surroundings, and began her hunt.  

Tracking in the rain was a pain in the ass, her boots were wading through about two inches of water already. With each drop, tracks got wiped clean, and forest life became more and more scarce. This cycle of storms has been going on for about a year now, and it shows no sign of letting up any time soon.    

Lyranth has been under an assault of storms for the past few hundred years. They don’t quite know when it started, or why. The rain level and storm severity comes and goes. Eirene was lucky enough to have been born in a time of overcast skies, she didn’t experience her first stormy season until the age of 7. This season of storms has stuck around for longer than usual, sometimes Eirene can’t remember what the sunlight felt like on her face.    

Eriene was now 19 and no longer a child who dreamed of feeling a warm breeze or basking in the sun. Her golden eyes carried the weight of a thousand stormy nights. Beneath her eyes, faint shadows lingered on her too-pale skin, testament to the countless sleepless nights she had endured, lying awake and cursing the sound of the thunder. Her thin face and frame stood, shaking in the cold and rain. The content and town was good at stockpiling resources, if you had the money.    

Eirene's life had been irrevocably changed on that fateful day, the first of the storm season. The people of the town were hurriedly preparing for the impending storms. They didn’t know how long they would be around for this time, the last cycle had lasted almost twenty years. But this time, the skies were particularly unforgiving, and the rain fell as if it had a grudge on Lyranth. 

Her parents, like many others, had done their best to secure shelter and supplies, but the storm's fury exceeded all expectations. As the storm raged on, lightning shot across the sky with blinding intensity, followed by earth-shattering peals of thunder that seemed to shake the earth to it’s core. Some people had said it seemed as though the lightning was trying to break apart the world.   

Amidst the chaos, Eirene's parents had been outside, attempting to reinforce their home's defenses against the torrential rains and howling winds. It was a cruel twist of fate that as they worked tirelessly to protect their family, they were struck down by a bolt of lightning that seemed to descend from the very heart of the storm. The scorched earth beneath where they stood was all that remained as the rising water washed away ashes in one fell swoop.   

The thunderous roar that followed was not just a natural phenomenon; it was a wail of grief that mimicked Eirene’s own.   

In the aftermath, Eirene was left not only grieving the loss of family. The though that her parents' meager savings and stockpile of resources had been consumed by the storm's wrath was of little to no consequence. She was a young girl of 7. The storms would claim her soon enough. The devastation was so widespread that even those who had money and resources found themselves struggling to recover.   

The loss of her parents should have been the end of it. The storm should have claimed her too she thought, as if it sought to consume her very soul in its wrath. But it didn't. With grim determination, a young Eirene gathered what supplies she could salvage from the wreckage of her home and hunkered down within the remnants of her family's shelter. 

In those initial days of the storm, she clung to life with a ferocity that mirrored the storm's fury. Defiant. She rationed her meager provisions, a young girl didn’t need much. The wind howled outside like a wolf, rattling the fragile remains of her refuge, but Eirene refused to yield. It was a daily struggle not to succumb to despair. Sometimes she wished the storm would claim her as it had taken her parents. 

And then, as abruptly as it had begun, the rain began to slow to a mere trickle. The relentless downpour that had haunted her days and nights eventually ceased, leaving behind a haunting stillness. But the clouds remained, an ever-present reminder of the tempest's looming return.   

In the days that followed, a fragile calm settled over the land, and Eirene ventured cautiously from her shelter. The once-vibrant world she had known was now a sodden, desolate landscape, marked by scars carved deep by the storm's fury. The town she had called home lay in ruins, its buildings reduced to mere memories.   

Her once full and curly hair that was always wild and untamed now lay a stringy wet mop atop her head. She didn’t even remember what her hair looked like without the constant moisture to it.    

Every few days or weeks, a storm would once again rock the land, unleashing its destructive power upon the already battered continent. Each time, those that could would repair what they could, hunt, and keep surviving, knowing that their respite would be short-lived, and the cycle of devastation and recovery would continue.   

Walking through these woods, her boots making twacking sounds as the mud and earth beneath them gripped her, her eyes caught a glimpse of movement in the trees above. Her fingers tightened around the bow at her side, and she slowly and carefully nocked an arrow, her movements precise and practiced. 

She drew the bowstring taut, her muscles slowly tensing, her breath synchronizing with the rhythm of the rain. Her eyes locked onto a pair of squirrels darting through the branches, their tails flickering like flames against the dark canopy.  

In a heartbeat, her arrow was released, soaring through the rain-soaked air and hitting its mark.   

The thud to the ground and the sound of something hitting the water meant success and a warm meal tonight, but there was no exultation in her heart. She lowered her bow and retrieved the lifeless squirrel and put it in her pack.   

After a few more hours of searching, she returned home with not one but two squirrels and a handful of fish. Eirene returned to the path and found the footbridge and began the trek back to town. 

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #fanfic #skz stay #skz smut #fantasy #romance #enemies to lovers #hyunjin #bang chan #straykids #sjm universe #sjmaas #acotar

[misspinkmilkmonster]

No Escape | hyunlix ff

Hyunjin is one of the most respected and feared mobsters in the human trafficking business. But more respected than him is Felix, the love of his life and more than all the money and luxuries he may have, he is his most precious possession.

However, Felix is ​​tired of seeing himself like this, like a possession, like a trophy, plus his heart makes him do one of the most drastic decisions of his life, abandon the mobster and start doing things right in the FBI, even if it means keeping his heart and feelings in a trunk.

But of course Hyunjin won't stay with his hands crossed, he will destroy everything and everyone in order to have his boy again.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Before start i want to say some things:

🐥🐚 This story is mere fiction. Do not take anything that is written here as real. At the end of the day, this is just another fic, written by two twisted and sadistic minds. 🐥🐚

🐥🐚This story has explicit language, smut scenes, and violence. If you are a sensitive person, be careful.🐥🐚

🐥🐚Long chapters.🐥🐚

🐥🐚Slow burn.🐥🐚

🐥🐚Secondary couples: ChanHo, Minsung, Chanmin🐥🐚

🐥🐚 Regarding the updates: We are two busy women, okay? hahaha we have complicated schedules. And since they are chapters of around 5k, it is a little difficult for us. So updates will take a while. But let you know that the wait will be worth it.🐥🐚

🐥🐚Copies and/or adaptations are not accepted without our consent.🐥🐚

🐥🐚Also we want to say that english isn't our first language, so we apologize if there are grammar or spelling mistakes🐥🐚

#hyunlix #hwang hyunjin #lee felix #bang chan #lee minho #han jisung #seo changbin #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #jackson wang #jay chang #lovers to enemies #slowburn #fiction #original fiction #mafia au #mafia romance #idk wtf im doing #just enjoy it #please dont judge me #stray kids #skz stay

[drunkewok]

Tiger Inside Chapter Thirty-Two

Stray Kids Mafia (ongoing)

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 4.5k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, graphic depictions of violence, weapons

Disclaimer: Any portrayal of Stray Kids or any other idols in this story is purely fiction and do not at all reflect their own personalities or how I view them as a person, it is purely for the sake of the story.

Please do not copy or repost my work

Y/N POV

Grief comes in waves.

At first they are so strong you feel swept away. The tides kicking your feet out from under you and forcing gasps from your throat as the water rushes in. Pulling you under. You grow angry with each failed attempt to stay upright. A scream to the skies every time the waters win.

Grief comes in waves. 

A more gentle splash of water once you’ve regained your footing in the sand. Now you can finally feel the warmth of the sun hit your skin, and be able to view the sunset in its beauty. When the joyful moments hold you close and laughter replays in your ears. The waters will calm. Ripples diminish as the waves turn into gentle rolling waters, keeping your body swaying but still rooted.

The fight in the beginning feels pointless. To try and hold steady as you’re tossed aside. But every time you’ve fallen in, you’ve pulled yourself back up. Your legs strengthen and the large waves don’t feel as cumbersome as they did before. They still hit, forcefully trying to push you off balance. But you’ve learned how to plant your feet, how to push back against them. Letting them merely sway you as each day you take a step forward toward the shore. 

Grief comes in waves.

My head snapped toward the door, startled by the sudden knocking. I sat frozen in place for a moment, fingers gripping the edge of my bed as my eyes stayed focused on the locked handle. 

I had started to find myself constantly sitting in a state of alert. Each sound feeling amplified as if my mind was in permanent sensory overload. 

I just needed the world to be quiet.

“Y/n? Are you in there?” Felix’s voice was soft on the other side of the wood, almost timid as he spoke up. I pulled myself from the sheets, slowly clicking the lock out of place and pulling the door open.

Felix’s head rose. The look of concern quickly faded as his eyes squinted, a gentle grin growing across his face.

“Hi there!” He chirped, a smile stretching further up his cheeks. His hands gripped my puffy jacket close to his chest, fingers tightly securing a hat against it.

“Hello to you too, can I ask why you have my jacket?” Without a word he held it out to me, stifling a smile giggle. 

“Get dressed. Jeongin and I wanna take you out for the night.” 

“Wha-” He shoved the jacket into my hands when I failed to take it from him. “Lix… I need to get down to the gym I was just about to meet up with Chang-”

“No no. We told him we’re stealing you. He can’t have you.” He reached out, grabbing the door handle. “Chop chop! We gotta get going!” He pulled the door shut, before the sounds of his feet running away could be heard. 

I stared down to the jacket in my hands, the faintest smile trying to break through.

Normally, the mystery behind the mischief the two boys were up to would leave me unsettled, nervous, and concerned. Yet in this moment it manifested in something akin to excitement. A twinge of hope in my chest that today might be an easier one.

Stepping foot outside the house might do me good, no matter how difficult it may feel.

Positive. 

Just stay positive. 

I repeated the mantra in my head as I stepped down the stairs, jacket in hand as I poked my head into the living room.

Felix and Jeongin bounced up from their spots lounging on the couch, both crossing over to me and Felix excitedly shook me by my arms. 

“Where are you all heading off to?” My eyes fell on Hyunjin on the couch, sitting beside Jisung who had his leg propped up on the coffee table. 

But the other body beside Jisung didn't look my way, the same coldness radiating off of him as the first time we met. Minho's arms were crossed, eyes fakely focusing on the television instead of us.

“Yeah, where exactly are we going?”

“It's a secret!” Felix practically skipped down the hall towards the front door, giddy with every step.

Jeongin reached out, arm stretching across my shoulders as he held me close and looked to the others with a proud smirk.

“We're taking her out on a date!” 

Hyunjin and Jisung let out soft chuckles at the two's excitement. Minho on the other hand was finally looking in my direction, not a single readable expression on his face as we held eye contact. His gaze turned back to the television, completely unphased. 

Jisung leaned towards Minho, whispering something to him before his sentence was quickly cut off by a punch to the arm.

“Ya! No punching the injured one!” He sunk into himself, his hand nursing the spot on his arm where Minho had made contact.

“Have fun you guys! Behave!” Hyunjin waved us off with a smile as Jeongin turned me down the hall, hands on my back as he pushed me towards the door.

“Where are you guys taking me!?” 

“Shh. We said it's a secret, now go get in the car.” Jeongin grabbed a set of keys from the hooks, leading the two of us outside to see Felix eagerly waiting by the locked car. 

My eyes scanned the snow littered landscape as we drove closer to the city. Night had already started to envelope the streets, the occasional street light flashing above head. Jeongin pulled the car alongside the curb, placing it into park as he clapped his hands together with a smile as he shut off the ignition. 

“Alright! Let's go!”

“I still don't get any hints?” 

“Not at all.” Felix grabbed my hand, pulling me alongside him as I tried to hold my jacket tightly closed in front of me in an attempt to maintain any body heat in the chilly air,

We meandered down multiple alleys, our destination starting to feel like it didn't actually exist as we continued on. Jeongin must have purposely parked far away, trying to keep their surprise for as long as possible.

Jeongin took a sharp left as we exited the last alley, Felix still tightly secured to my side as I looked forward to what was ahead of us.

Twinkling lights were strung across the trees, creating a ceiling of light against the night sky. Multiple vendors lined the walkways and pedestrians for as far as the eye could see. A soft melody played from hidden speakers, welcoming us in.

A winter night market.

Felix giggled as he looked at me, taking in the scenery as a smile slowly tried to stretch across my cheeks. It was a magical sight to observe, everyone cheery and laughing together as their fingers grasped their cups of hot chocolate or their sugary confections. 

Jeongin stopped a few strides ahead of us, turning around to my frozen state as his eyes vanished behind his smile, arms opening wide. 

“Surprise!” 

Felix's hands found their place on my arms, rubbing them as if he was trying to transfer heat to me through the layers of my jacket.

“We need to get some cocoa!” He chirped, arms wrapping around me and giving a tight squeeze from behind. 

Jeongin stepped forward in agreement, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him, Felix following close behind.

As we stood in line at a kiosk, I turned around to take in more of our surroundings. Only now do I notice the large skating rink at the far end, full of groups skating side by side and the occasional fall. 

It had been years since I found myself at the holiday market, working nights definitely consuming my time and preventing me from attending. It must have been my childhood that I was last able to take in the joy that they held. 

Jeongin turned around, handing me a cup topped with whipped cream and marshmallows, a candy cane sticking out from the top of the sugary white mountain. 

I smiled with a thank you as I let my fingers wrap around the warm cup, bringing it to my lips and letting the flavors of chocolate and peppermint drench my taste buds. 

Felix giggled as I pulled the cup away, motioning with his finger to my lip before I licked away the remnants of the whip cream. 

“It's delicious, I don't even know the last time I had a quality cup of hot cocoa.” I turned to Jeongin with a grin “and the peppermint was a good choice, thank you” 

“We gotta keep you sweet somehow.” Jeongin reached an arm across my shoulders, pulling me close to him in a side hug. 

“I'm perfectly sweet as I am, thank you very much.” I let out a humored scoff, feigning offense. 

“Whatever you say, darling.” With a chuckle, Jeongin tapped the tip of my nose, before leading us down the walkway side by side. 

Booths lined the pathway as we continued on, an array stretching from street foods to hand crafted goods. Children hollered in front of the game booths, placing metaphorical bets against their siblings in lighthearted rivalry.

“Oh my god.” Felix abruptly stopped in his tracks, eyeing the hanging array of prizes above a particular booth. “I need it.”

My eyes followed his line of sight up to a long bodied pink animal pillow, before he ran up to the booth and wasted not a single moment before handing his money over to the teller to begin his game.

My head craned to the side as I tried to study the figure, eyes squinting in confusion.

“What even is that thing?” Jeongin slightly spoke down to me, also focused on the long pillow.

“I thought it was a bunny… But it’s got a pig nose… I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I but I need it!” Felix pointed back to us, eyes wide in determination. “He’s coming home with me!”

He juggled the ball in his one hand, focus pinned on the tower of bottles as he readied his aim. He grumbled in frustration as only the top few bottles fell with his throw, quickly digging into his pocket and handing over another dollar before attempting again. I watched as he tried time and time again, each throw leaving him short of leaving with his soon-to-be prized possession. 

“Com’on Felix, you know these are all rigged anyways.”

“Excuse me,” My eyes snap to a woman stepping up to us with a friendly smile, pointing down to the hot chocolate in my hand. “I’m so sorry to ask, but where did you get those?” 

“Oh!” I turned around in the direction we came, pointing back to the booth. “Right back there! I highly suggest you try it with the peppermint! It’s so good.”  

She grinned as I turned back to her, a soft thank you as she passed by us and down toward her own sweet treat.

Felix let out another long groan with the crashing of bottles. Jeongin stepped up behind him, trying to usher him away from the booth.

“Let’s go skate or something before you waste your entire wallet on this game.”

Jeongin outstretched his hand, his other firmly grasping the half wall, as he guided me over the threshold and onto the ice once we had finally donned our skates. My feet slipped beneath me as I tried to gain my footing, my hands tightly gripping into Jeongin’s arm as I steadied myself. 

As the uncontrollable sliding became manageable, I let my tight hold release as I tried to pull myself to the wall. Jeongin chuckled at my newborn deer-like state before Felix’s yelp caught our attention as he unsuccessfully made his way onto the ice, and not a moment later partially falling into the splits as he clamored.

I pushed myself from the wall, slowly gliding across the ice in his direction as I struggled not to keel over laughing. After hauling Felix back into a standing position, Jeongin slid up beside the two of us, holding his stomach laughing.

“At least she can help me while laughing instead of just watching me suffer.” Felix grumbled.

“Listen, I just wasn’t expecting you to come out here immediately flailing your arms like a baby chick.” 

Felix quickly proved to be no better once we began to make our way around the rink. Jeongin on the other hand was surprisingly stable as we progressed. In no way would you put him up for competition, but I would not have expected him to have been experienced on the ice to the point of looking comfortable.

My fingers slowly untied the laces secured around my ankles, leaning back on my hands as I kicked the skates off. Jeongin’s cackling beside me brought my eyes up, just in time to witness Felix clumsily sliding to the edge of the rink and falling forward once his skates hit the edge. 

“And he sticks the landing!” Jeongin cheered, doubling over in pain from his laughter. I shoved his arm lightly before pulling myself from the bench, trying to haul Felix’s body up out of the snow as he let out a dramatic holler. 

I bit my lip in an attempt to suppress my own laughter, settling Felix onto the bench beside Jeongin. Retrieving his lost beanie to his lap as he flipped his disheveled hair from his face.

“You realize you're supposed to stop before the curb, right?” A snicker finally escaped my lips, watching as he tried to settle his snow covered beanie back onto his head.

“They need to make it more visible. That was not my fault.”

“There's a reason he's usually not directly in battle, he's not the most graceful of the members.”

“Ya!” Felix hollered as his arms crossed his chest. “I wanna see any of you do what I do, especially when all of you break out in nervous hives at just the thought of scanning through my codes.” 

“That aside, give me my shoes. My socks are drenched and yes, I will be bitching about it for the rest of the night.” I struggled as I attempted to replace my boots back onto my feet over my wet socks. The quick thinking as I flung forward to assist Felix, created a momentary lapse in judgment that I was without shoes and about to trudge across the cold snow.

We continued on from our icy activities, on our journey back to the car as we wrapped up our night before Felix's eyes glistened at the sight of an elaborately lit up sign before us.

He stopped in his tracks, halting me next to him as his grip on my arm tightened. I followed his gaze to a tent beside us, a large sign reading FORTUNE TELLER posted above the entrance.

“We've got to go in.” He mumbled, eyes not straying from the tent.

“Seriously? It's all just a scam as they tell you the same mumbo jumbo that they repeat to everyone all night. Great riches are coming your way, your romantic life will flourish, danger is coming for you.” My fingers wiggled in the air, swirling the artificial magic around me. 

“Oh come on! It’s still fun to hear. And you never know, maybe they’re the real deal?”

I rolled my eyes as he tugged me forward, pulling the door flap to the side and dragging us into the dimly lit tent.

The psychic sat on the floor behind a small table in the middle, eyes closed with her palms resting on the surface. The candles in front of her barely illuminating her face from below as the rest of the tent sat in shrouded darkness.

Felix eagerly sat on the cushion in front of her, crossing his legs beneath him and leaning in. 

Her eyes slowly opened and met Felix's, a gentle smile growing before looking up to me still standing. Without a word she gestured to the cushion beside Felix, summoning me to begrudgingly sit down. 

I nervously settled into the seat, not quite sure why the atmosphere of the small tent left a knot deeply rooted in my stomach.

Her hand slowly reached forward, trying to take mine in hold, before I tried to dismiss her as gently as possible.

“Oh no, he's the one who wanted to visit you, thank you though.” I turned to Felix, who was motioning to her hand with his head, his eyes darting between mine and her palm. 

With a sigh I reached out, putting my hand in hers as she closed her eyes once more, taking a deep breath.

Still without a single word uttered, she released me, taking out a stack of cards and handing them to me.

“Shuffle.” 

At this point I figured it might just be easier to play along, being so quickly targeted not being in my original plan when stepping in. 

Felix's hands settled in his lap, intensely watching the cards as they transferred between my hands, before I handed them back to the woman. 

“Your energy was strong the moment you stepped in. You carry a powerful aura with you.”

I hummed in response, forcing a smile as I nodded along with her. The same line coming from her that she probably utters a millions times in one night.

“By the act of shuffling you've put your energy into the cards, and they're eager to give you the answers you seek.” She held the deck between her hands. “What would you like to ask the cards tonight, my dear?”

I stuttered as I tried to come up with a response, trying to look to Felix for any sort of guidance. 

“I'm sorry…” I look back at her hesitantly, “I've never done this before.” 

“No worries my dear.” She laid the cards out in a spread in front of us, slowly flipping over cards one by one. “We’ll just see what the cards would like to tell you then.”

Each flip of a card caused her to give soft hmm’s and ha's as she studied them, and I tried to press my lips together in an attempt to stifle a giggle.

"I see you've experienced great loss, a burden that you carry on your shoulders even now. You need to forgive yourself and those around you who are trying to share the load. It's the only way you will be able to conquer the shadows I see in your future. What's happened in your past will find its way back to you, and it will not be a pleasant reunion. It will take all your courage to confront it. And having those who love you near will make the process smoother.”

"Wow...um wow okay...aren't you supposed to just tell me to sell me some bs about loving myself or some tall dark handsome stranger is waiting for me just around the corner”

She gave a soft chuckle, pulling another card and flipping it face up.

“Hmm, handsome, yes. But not very tall.” She looked up to me with a sly grin, “Seems like he may be closer than you think though.”

“Ah yeah, okay there it is.” I patted my legs before rising, trying to make my exit before Felix reached up, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. I stared down at him, “What? Like I said, it’s all just the same mumbo jumbo she tells everyone. You stay and get your fortune read, but I’m gonna go wait outside with Jeongin.”

Felix's quick shuffling to stand was clear as I pulled the tent flap to the side, giving thanks to the psychic and following me out.

Jeongin stood as he noticed us nearing again, head slightly tilting in confusion.

“You guys weren't in there very long?” 

“Nah, no need.” I crossed my arms across my chest, stopping just before the bench and turning to see Felix catching up to us.

“You're gonna brush that off? She just told you so much!” 

A scoff blended into a chuckle as I looked around the crowded plaza, a humored smile growing on my lips.

“I told you, she says the same thing to everyone. None of that was specific for me.”

“Oh com'on! Great loss? Your past will find its way back to you!?” Felix reached out, taking both my arms in his hands as he gently shook me. “HANDSOME MAN IS CLOSER THAN YOU THINK!?” 

“Lix, buddy. Don't look too far into this.” 

He pushed air through his teeth, the softest eish coming from him as he accepted defeat and crossed his arms. I playfully rolled my eyes, nudging my arm into his side and forcing it to wrap around his and pull him close. 

“Com'on, let's head home. It's getting late. We don't want Chan sitting in a chair in the dark corner waiting for us to walk in the door.” 

Felix laughed softly, nodding in agreement. I turned back with my other arm, linking it with Jeongin's and pulling him alongside me as we strolled back to the car. 

Shrugging my jacket from my shoulders, I placed it on its hanger and quickly started to rid myself of my boots. The uncomfortable wet feeling that grew between my toes being far too much to bare from my soaked socks. 

“I’ll be right there! I just need to get changed!” I called out to Felix and Jeongin as they made their way into the lit living room, Felix barely waving in response behind him.

“You guys went ice skating without me!?” Jisung’s voice rang out as I later entered the living room, freshly changed with new socks, his eyes big to accompany the dramatic pout on his lips.

“You can’t even skate right now! You’re still on crutches!” Hyunjin heckled as he settled a pillow into his lap, head falling back into the couch cushions.

“And yet I could still skate circles around you.”

“Oh please! It’s been years.” Hyunjin shot up, sending a glare in Jisung’s direction. “Do you really think I haven’t gotten better since then!?” 

“All I’m saying is maybe you should skate better.”

“Maybe you should shoot better!” Hyunjin chucked the pillow, hitting Jisung in the face and sending him falling backwards into Minho dramatically. 

“I doubt Seungmin even clears you before the end of the season for something like that.” Minho lifted the pillow from Jisung’s face, tossing it onto the couch beside him. 

“You’ll see! I’ll heal in no time and after that you’re on Hwang!” 

“So you guys just impulsively decided to go to the night market?” Minho settled himself into the couch, Jisung tucked snuggly beside him with a pout.

As I crossed to the couch, Jeongin pulled me down into the seat between him and Felix, pulling my back flush against his chest in a tight back hug.

“I told you, we had to take her on a date!”

Minho scoffed, picking up the remote and turning his focus to the television as he avoided eye contact with the three of us.

“What? You mad that they took her on a date before you?” Jisung squealed the moment the words left his mouth, quickly turning into a ball as Minho picked the pillow back up, attempting to nonchalantly smother it into Jisung’s face without pulling his attention from the screen. 

“Ohhh from that reaction I think we know the answerrrr.” Felix chimed, giggling as I struggled from Jeongin’s grip.

“Um, hi! Hello! You do remember I’m right here, right?” 

“You guys took her on a date and didn’t even get her flowers?” Hyunjin scoffed, crossing one leg over the other and arms across his chest. “Rookie move.”

“Oh my god, why didn’t you get her flowers!?” Felix’s head shot towards Jeongin, nudging his arm.

“ME!? The whole thing was your idea. Why is it my job to get the flowers?” 

“Just know that if I took you on a date you’d be greeted with flowers and chocolates.” Hyunjin scoffed in disapproval as he directed his attention away from us and back to the screen.

“Yeah and if I took you on a date it would have been a nice little picnic by the Han River! The Han Jisung at the Han River! You can’t beat it!”

“You guys act like I’m about to go on dates with everyone in the house, chill out.”

“You never know! Your secret lover is closer than you think” Felix nudged into my side, “So it very well could be one of us in the house!” 

“Secret lover?” Hyunjin’s brow arched, interest piqued.

“Yeah! Tell them all about your fortune!” Felix grew giddy at the resurfacing of the topic, still deeply rooted on the final statement of my reading.

Minho crossed his arms across his chest, poorly trying to act uninterested, and keeping his head facing the TV but the smallest of side eye in our direction as he tried to listen in.

“Oh please, I’m not going to repeat all of that nonsense.”

“Fine! I will!” Felix turned to Hyunjin, leaning in close. “We went to a fortune teller! And she said that y/n has a very handsome lover who might be closer than she thinks.” He decorated his last words with air quotes as he giggled gleefully.

“Huh, never took you for the fortune teller type.” Jisung chuckled.

“I’m not! He dragged me in there against my own free will!” The boys stared at me with doubtful glances, each looking as though they were attempting to suppress their giggles. “Okay, whatever. You all can keep debating the hypotheticals of me going on dates with each of you for whatever reason. I'm gonna go get ready for bed, I bid you goodnight!” 

I quickly hopped up from my seat, trying to quickly divert my way upstairs and away from whatever that conversation would be morphing into. 

I set my phone on the counter beside the sink, finding myself with a small smile as I settled in front of the mirror. 

Pulling my hair back from my face, I let the faucet run. Patiently waiting for the cold water to gain its heat as I washed my face. The unexpected venture away from the home had done more good than I expected, the exact push I had needed to put pain temporarily in the rearview and let a different emotion finally take the wheel.

As I leaned forward, dipping my hands into the water, my phone screen lit up. A text message scarcely legible. I rinsed away the last of the soapy residue and shut off the water, dabbing the towel across my face before finally picking up my phone and unlocking the screen.

Unknown: Little birds shouldn’t stray far from the nest.

My brows furrowed as I stared at the screen, trying to decipher who it may be who had sent the cryptic message, as I watched the tiny bubbles reappear at the bottom of the screen before another message came through, causing my stomach to drop.

Unknown: The peppermint was a good choice though.

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@leagreenly @jamlessstars @moonlight-the-writer @ishz @minbinboo @felixslostfreckle @venusmoonxnight @caillout24 @linocz @stayceebs97 @trinityceleste8

#stray kids mafia #stray kids #skz mafia #skz #lee know x reader #lee know enemies to lovers #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #jeongin #fanfiction #stray kids freeze #lee know mafia #lee know mafia au #alternate universe #lee know fic #drunkewok #tiger inside

[trina864]

Eleutheromania | Lee Felix

Summery; Love and hate come from around the corner. You may not see it at first sight, but the next second it’s already there. Your hate was strong, but who was it pointed towards? 

Paring: Lee Felix x Reader

Genre: Fantasy, Fanfiction, Romance, Angst, Fluff ‖ College AU, e2l

Word Count:  3.9 k 

Warning: Bad relationship to parent, loneliness, vague thoughts about death. 

‣ A/N: I have written for a long time, but I always have problems finishing the stories. This is my first ever story to post. I’m tired of not trying to post my work so here you go, hope you enjoy it. (:  

-------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------

Eleutheromania

Noun | Meaning: 

An intense desire for freedom 

-------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------

Name: Y/N 

Age: 19 

Creature: Siren 

Name: Felix

Age: 19 

Creature: Dragon

-------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------

Legends and myths tell a lot of stories about the things we cannot see and therefore don’t believe in.

There is one story forgotten by many, but the story still lives on today.

There once was a phoenix who was in love with a butterfly living in the sea. The two of them couldn’t have each other because of their differences. That lead to them casting spells over each other.

The phoenix became a flower and once it would burn up the butterfly would live on without the phoenix. When the butterfly died, they would finally live together in the midnight sky where both could stay with the love they shared.

This story was so powerful that every time true love happens for those who is not meant to be, there will grow a flower and when the time is right that flower will burn, and out of the ashes comes a beautiful butterfly with wings made of morning dew and a heart as pure as gold.

The butterfly would forever fly with the true love and protect it form those who tried to break it, cause never was true love meant to be broken.  

…

…

….

It had been two months… two months of the new school year and two months of your bickering.

People around you two already knew what would happen when the two of you met. It could be in the hallways or in classrooms, you two would suddenly start to bicker with each other.

You and Felix loved to fight. No one ever backed down from a fight, which often lead to sour faces from you both.

But it made sense that the two of you fought as much as you did. You two were completely opposites. Felix a dragon, the dragon clan leader’s son. You a siren, your mom the leader of your siren kingdom.

Like warmth and cold, as soon as the two met it would explode into a storm.

“Felix if you think you are so good at everything then why not control the water?!” You yelled over at him. You had even turned in your seat to make eye contact. 

You were sitting in class when you were given a question. The answer you gave was wrong. Felix, of course, had to make a comment that if HE were given the question he would have answered correctly. You, who were already pissed at Felix from an episode earlier that day, snapped.

“Y/N, I suggest you to be quiet or I’ll write home to your mother.” The teacher said, a stern look on his face. You immediately calmed yourself, turning back into your seat.

You didn’t need any message home to your oh so amazing mother, saying you had been noisy in the classroom. 

The rest of the lesson you were in your own thoughts not even hearing any of the times Felix tried to get your attention.

…

Next day you were tired and not in the mood for anything. The only little spark of exitment was to see your best friend’s happy smile when he would meet you in front of your lockers. 

Hyunjin had been a big part of you life. You two were old childhood friends and growing up the two of you just always happened to be at the same place. 

Same kindergarten, same middel school and now same high school. The past years in high school you had really grown close, creating a bond on trust and laughter.

You had even had you little crush on the boy, in middel school, but that soon went away. You couldn’t imagine being with him anymore, you had maybe seen too much? 

But Hyunjin still was the closest relationship you had with anyone. You didn’t make many friends, actually only Hyunjin, and maybe your partner in water source class? But she did seem more annoyed by you than happy with you, so that one didn’t count. 

You couldn't think of any other person that would make you feel even the slightest bit of excitement, not one

“Y/N!” Why was it that every time you heard his voice your eyes automatically rolled to the back of your head? 

“Nice outfit.” 

Looking down at your particularly boring outfit almost looking like a pyjamas you sighed remembering why you rolled your eyes. 

Turning back to Felix who stood right behind your back you had to keep yourself from gulping down. 

It was no secret that Felix was hot, one of the best looking in the school. Dragons just had that spark of flame y’know? 

He didn’t even do much. A pair of black sweatpants, a white t-shirt tucked into his sweatpants in the right side only, black Jordans, and his famous pieces of silver jewelry hanging in his ears and around his neck. 

That man was hot to look at no doubt.

Just too bad his personality wasn’t. 

“You like what you see?”  

His particularly deep voice broke you out of the trance. What even happened? 

“No, sorry to disappoint you.” You couldn’t say he was hot, of course not, that would make him win in some way. You turned your back on him and walked away, but you knew it wouldn’t be that easy. 

“Sure princess, that’s why you were staring at me?” 

Felix ran up in front of you, walking backwards so he could see your reaction. 

Your lips formed into a smirk seeing how he kept following you. Did he really like you that much? Risking to walk into something just to see your face? You wanted to ask, but you somehow also wanted to keep it to yourself it was a nice thought. 

“I’m staring at you because you look stupid, trying to get my attention everyday by being rude won’t help you lover boy.” 

That little sentence made Felix’s eyes light up just a tiny bit more, was it true? Surely not he was just embarrassed. 

“Oh you would love that wouldn’t you princess?”  That smirk, oh.. that smirk. You hated it. Felix lips formed that little smirk that you knew more than your own, his little smirk showed more than your eye rolls. 

“I find it annoying. So I advice you to stop.” You kept eye contact with him, trying really hard to prove your point, but for Felix it was seen as something else. He could see the yell in your eyes for him to keep going. 

But that soon broke when Felix bumped into a chair, falling over his own legs, and ending on his fine little butt. 

The groan that left his lips made a loud laughter leave you lips. Okay, there was one thing more that could make you excited, and that was Felix falling.

You walked away with a more than satisfied smile knowing you had won this round. 

“See you later fire boy!” 

...

“Y/N!! HEY!” 

“JINNIE!!!” You matched his excited tone and his little run over to you with arms stretched.

Meeting in a tight hug you let out a laughter a true happy laughter as he hugged you tighter. 

“How are you?” Hyunjin asked as he let you go. The two of you walked towards your one shared class, history of the creatures. 

“Since yesterday? Good, I think.” You let out a light chuckle. Hyunjin always asked you this, even when he saw you everyday, always asked that question. 

But maybe that was because he knew that a lot could happen for you in one day. Especially if you had gotten a message home the day before, which you had yesterday. 

“You think?” 

Why did he know you so well? 

Hyunjin found it obvious that you weren’t okay today. The black under your eyes, your outfit, messy hair, and a really tired face. 

You were not okay. 

“Well you know it. She called again.” You gave off the energy that you didn’t care. It fooled Hyunjin much to your liking, but it didn’t fool yourself.

It didn’t fool the stains of tears on your pillow and it didn’t fool the ripped pieces of pictures laying scattered around on your floor 

“Try to ignore her. Y’know she doesn’t mean it that bad.” Hyunjin said trying to cheer you up, but that didn’t really help, annoying you more actually. 

It wasn’t his fault, but trying to get her in a better light was something you didn’t want. 

She meant it exactly the way she said it.

But Hyunjin didn’t know that, so you couldn’t get angry with him. 

“Yeah, but whatever let’s talk about something else!” You said packing your sadness away and trying to find a new happiness. 

“What about you? Did you ask that girl out yet?” You asked. The big smile that opened on Hyunjins lips were enough to tell you so you let out a happy laughter. 

“Good job Jinnie!” You said lightly clapping him on the shoulder. 

“She’s so nice Y/N! We were out to get coffee the other day, and she said that she really enjoyed spending time with me!” The little happy scream that left Hyunjins lips were enough to make your heart melt. 

You were so happy for him. You really just hopped that everything would succeed for him. 

Hyunjin have had his share in heartbreaks. A year back he came to your dorm in the middle of the night crying his heart out while you did everything to try and cheer him up. 

It ended up being a really fun night as you had put his favorite comedian on the tv. Even with a broken heart he couldn’t help, but to laugh at the jokes. 

“Yea? She seems nice. Just don’t forget your bestfriend when you become a boyfriend to someone, okay?” 

That was a fear you had for a long time. Every time Hyunjin would start something with someone you were always afraid that he would forget you, because without Hyunjin you had no one. 

He hadn’t forgotten you yet, even with many girlfriends in his life, but the fear was always there when something new started. 

“Of course not! I would never, you know that.” Hyunjin said turning to you with a smile, you responded him with one of your own.

“I know Jinnie, but y’know, the fear is still there sometimes. Oh we’re here let’s get going. Wouldn’t want Mrs. fun to be angry.” 

Hyunjin laughed at your joke before responding with a nod. You sighed silently when he walked in. You really did hope he wouldn’t forget you. 

...

Walking out of your last class before eating break you sighed. 

You and Hyunjin had said goodbye after the first class where he promised he would meet you to eating break, but now that you walked into the cafeteria you realized that wouldn’t happen when you saw him mooching away on a carrot while smiling and laughing with his shapeshifter friends. 

Hyunjin was quite popular, something you were not, and every time he asked if he should introduce you to the rest of his friends you always declined with a polite smile.

You couldn’t get angry at Hyunjin for ditching you. The only thing angering you was that he had just said he wouldn't forget you, and now he forgot you, unless he ditched you on purpose, but Hyunjin wouldn’t do that. 

But then again it was your own fault, if you had been more extroverted and actually met his other friend then you could just join them instead. 

None the less you were in need of food and you didn’t really have anything against being alone so down you sat at a small table in the corner. 

You couldn’t help the sigh though. A sigh tired of being alone, never really having anyone, cause even Hyunjin wasn’t really enough. It may sound selfish, but all you needed right now was selfish. 

You desperately wanted someone to comfort you, to hold you when you cried, to tell you everything was gonna be alright, and to make you smile when you were in deep sorrow. 

You were startled when your phone loudly rang. A few faces turned to you, but they weren’t interested enough to stay. Except one. 

Felix had been looking at you before your phone rang. His frown was deep as he observed you. 

He hadn’t looked at you like this before, from far away and just observering. He had only seen you up close where he stood in front of you, the expressions on your face were very different. 

When you stood in front of him you were a strong confident women, but over there, alone in the shadows you were suddenly shy, sad and weak, a little girl. 

It scared him. 

Why had he never seen that before? That you too did have your weakness. 

But his worry just got worse when he saw you reach out for your phone and looking at the caller id. 

Your eyes widen, but it wasn’t because you were excited. It was almost like fear, fear that filled your eyes. 

Felix didn’t really know why it worried him, you were just his enemy. But then again it wasn’t that he wanted anything bad to happen to you, he just enjoyed seeing your annoyed face. 

That face, the face of fear placed over top of yours weren’t what he wanted. He didn’t like that face. 

His eyes followed you as you got up from your seat, phone in your hand, and you almost ran out of the cafeteria where he could get a glimpse of you answering the call. 

Felix didn’t really know what he was doing, he just knew he had to see what was happening. What if he was teasing someone who actually was in a really bad condition? He would feel so bad with himself. 

So without any word he quietly stood up from his seat. The others didn’t notice, they were too busy teasing Chan that he was half 50. 

Felix quietly went out of the cafeteria without any disturbances and once he was out it didn’t take him long to find you who were standing with your phone to your ear on the hallway just beside the cafeteria.

You were quiet, listening to her harsh words as always. It did shock you though that she called while you still were in school. She had never done that. 

“Mom please.” 

Felix eyes widen. Mom? It was your mom... 

He had heard his father talk bad about the siren leader who happened to be your mom. That was the main reason for Felix to always tease you and make you angry.

Dragons and sirens had always hated each other. 

Maybe that was also why your mom was so harsh in her words, cause today she got a new message form the teachers.  

 “Is it true what I hear?! That you’re talking with that scum!?” 

You frowned when she suddenly said that turning the conversation from her normal talk about how your grades weren’t good enough and how you always were noisy in classes. 

What was she even talking about? 

Felix heard the question loud and clear, your mothers voice was so loud that even from afar he could hear every word. 

“What are you talking about? Who?” You didn’t understand anything of what she was referring too, was it Hyunjin? But she knew him how could she be mad about that?

“That dragon scum! Jacobs son.” Your eyes widen when you finally realized who she was talking about. 

And so did Felix’s. 

“Felix? Mom we are NOT talking. He just keep annoying me.” You tried you really did, but you knew your mom better than anyone. 

“I will not tolerate this behavior from you! You will never talk with that dragon again understood!?” You felt the frustrated tears well up in your eyes. Why did she have to decide who you were talking too? 

You didn’t know why you didn’t just agree with her, it wasn’t that hard Felix wasn’t important to you, but you sure as hell were not about to agree with her. 

“You don’t get to decide that mom.” 

Felix who had turned around to walk away stopped in his step. He was so sure you would just have agreed and talked bad about him, but this surprised him. 

It made him smile. 

“What!?” 

You sighed before continuing. 

“It surprises me I have to tell you this every time, but mom I’m 19 years old, you don’t have any rights over me anymore. I live on my own, pay on my own. The only thing you do for me is trying to set rules. I’m tired of being your perfect doll so your reputation of a good leader doesn’t get cracked.” 

Felix didn’t know what it was, but seeing you there, standing up for yourself, it made him feel proud. Tiny small sparks lit up in his heart, too tiny for him to notice. 

“Fine Y/N. If you want me to leave you alone then I’ll leave you alone.” The breath you were holding let itself out and smile broke over your lips. She finally heard you and understood you. 

“Thank you mo-” 

“I’ll leave you alone from this moment on. You’ll not go home to the sirens after your school, you’ll not hear a word from me ever again, from this moment on I am not your mother anymore.” 

Everything was silent for too long. 

You couldn’t get a word out even though you wanted to scream. You wanted to cry when you heard her cruel words. 

Not even when you heard the loud bip sounds of your phone, indicating that she had hung up couldn’t you say something. 

You were frozen there, her words circling around your head. 

“From this moment on I am not your mother anymore.” 

Were you really that awful? Even your own mother didn’t want you? 

There was some kick that started everything inside you, but you didn’t scream. You didn’t cry like you thought you would, no you simply dropped your phone that you still had placed to your ear and you fell to the floor. 

You weren’t unconscious just sitting. Sitting and staring at the phone in front of you. 

You were truly alone. 

No one would miss you if you were gone.

Maybe Hyunjin would, but he would quickly get over it. If you didn’t live right now, no one would ever miss you, it would just be as if you were never born. 

You didn’t hear the footsteps, and you at first didn’t feel the hand on your shoulder. 

But when someone hugged you into them on your side you didn’t flinch, you just simply let the person hug you. 

Felix didn’t know what to do, he was as shocked as yourself. Especially because he had a dad who loved him more than anyone, he didn’t know what it was like, and he never thought it would happen to someone like you. 

The only thing he could think off was that you shouldn’t be alone at a time like this so without further ado he started walking towards your limp body sitting on the floor. 

He was careful not to startle you when he sat himself down beside you on the hallway. He was careful not to harm you when his hand sneaked around your shoulder. He was careful when he pulled you into his chest letting you have a safe place to snuggle into. 

And you did, without question. 

Felix let his chin rest on the top of your head pulling you tighter into him. 

He couldn’t help but feel guilty, if he had just left you alone from the beginning you and your mother wouldn’t have that fight. 

He quickly felt his shirt get drenched with your tears, but it worried him that no sound left you. Not a sniff, not a scream, not a heavy breathing, just tears. 

He slowly started to caresses your hair, it made you snuggle even closer to him just wanting to feel the warmth radiating off him. 

You knew who it was, just by the smell, the warmth and his whole being. 

You had heard from Hyunjin that Felix actually wasn’t that bad. Apparently the two knew each other from their friends and were good buddies. 

You never believed Hyunjin, why would you when Felix had given you no reason to? But this...

That he stayed with you even when he knew it would probably be difficult. Many would just have walked away pretending as if nothing happened, but Felix stayed. 

It warmed you heart just a tiny bit, and you were suddenly happy to have stood up against your mom. 

 “Y/N?” 

For the first time you didn’t find his deep voice annoying, it was calming. Hearing him say your name made you feel as if everything was going to be okay. 

“Mmh?” You didn’t really want to say anything, afraid your voice would crack. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

You snuggled even closer to his warm beating heart. That was answer enough for Felix, answer to the question if he wanted to be there for you instead of against you as it had always been. 

Seeing you so vulnerable and trusting to him was enough to let him know that every little sign, every little spark that he knew he had felt when he stood in front of you was real. 

That it wasn’t just anger, it wasn’t him being happy to see you suffer. It was his heart trying to tell him that you were important, that you could and would change everything in his life. 

The times when he just wanted to have someone like the rest of his friends was over, he was now sure that you could be that someone, and he knew that he wanted you to be that someone, needed you to be.  

And you knew that all the secret wishes you had given to the long nights were over, they weren’t wishes anymore. 

You too knew like Felix that the tiny sparks of excitement - happiness, wasn’t just when seeing him fall, no it was when you saw his smirk, when you saw him laugh at you, when you saw his flaming eyes light up the moment you were in his sight. 

Standing up to your mom wasn’t a coincidence, it was because you really enjoyed Felix and his teasing. You enjoyed being in his life, in his everyday life, and you wouldn’t want it any different. 

You let out a smile when you felt him kiss the top of your head. You felt secure in his arms, his legs around your hips as you were pressed into him. 

Your life had just been ruined, your mom cutting you off not even an hour ago, but you couldn’t help but be happy that all the bad stuff lead to this beautiful spark flaming up between you and Felix. 

It had been planted between you a long time ago, it had grown too, but it was only now you two allowed to feed it and nourish it. 

That spark between you two was the beginning somewhere far away. Somewhere no one had been. 

A field of lavender purple flowers. 

If you zoomed into the earth you would see the beginning of your flower. A beautiful little green stick saying hello to the world. 

And as days passed and you and Felix got closer, laughed, cried, kissed. Your flower grew with love and care. 

When it was time to say goodbye the flower burned down, it burned to ashes, and the ashes gave birth to your own butterfly flying up to the night sky filled with stars. 

The stars greeted the lavender colored butterfly, and the butterfly forever lived on with love and care buried deep into it’s dew filled wings. 

Love could never be broken even in a so vulnerable thing as a butterfly.  

A/N: This is a work of trina846, please, DO NOT reupload. 

#lee felix #stray kids #enemies to lovers #stray kids felix #skz #skz felix #hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #bang chan #lee know #changbin #han jisung #seungmin #jeongin #felix x reader

[hex-the-vortex]

The Night That Changed My Life (MAIN PLOT)

➳ 3racha x gn!reader (Separate fics later on) Felix x gn!reader(Platonic)  ➳ College AU! ➳ WARNINGS!!-  fighting, blood, bruises, I.N getting bullied :(, cursing, everyone’s idiots, Changbin dislikes reader.  ➳ WORD COUNT- 1472 words (whoops?) ➳A/N- Hiya! Kai here. Hex and I have an idea of a “Make Your Own Choice” story! At the end of this, you can pick Chan, Han, or Changbin (when we post them, please give us time to post it). The only warning I have for Bang Chan’s separate fic will be spicy  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Anyway, enjoy and wait for more fics from us! Feel free to request things as well! Wait, you don’t know what to request? It’s okay! Here is my masterlist, and here’s Hex’s. Feel free to request on this account, or our separate ones! That’s all. Have a lovely day, and enjoy!  I walked away from the receptionist, thanking her. The lady was so nice showing me where my room was. Moving into a new college is a lot of stress, so her calming me was so sweet of her. As I was walking to my dorn, someone bumped into me from behind. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry!” he said, bowing. I shake my head ‘No’ but the words just wouldn’t come out. Finally, he looked up when I was finally able to get words out. “No! You’re fine! I understand. I’m a slow walker with all of this luggage,” I say, laughing a little bit. “Do you need help with anything?” he said, putting his phone in his pocket. “Oh no! I’m fine. I’m almost at my room anyway.” I say, smiling at him. He nods and apologizes again. Before I can answer, he leaves. I sigh and walk to my new room. 

I took my key and unlocked the door. As I walked in, I saw a blonde-haired woman who smiled sweetly at me. “Hi! You must be the new roommate? I’m Jeongyeon, nice to meet you.” she said, putting her hand out. I take her hand and say, “Hi, I’m [Y/N]. Nice to meet you, too.” We let go and she continues. “Do you need help unpacking? I can help unpack a few things before I have to leave for class.” she starts grabbing a few stuff from my hands. “Oh no! I don’t want to keep you from class. You don’t have to do anything. I’ll be fine.” I say, shaking my head. She smiles and nods her head. She waves at me and walks out the door. I look down at my suitcase that had a few tiny boxes on top of it and got to work. 

As I unpack, I play some music and I plan what I am to do afterward. I settle on taking a small tour around the school. I set the boxes near the trash when finished with them. Now, unzipping my suitcase and putting things in my dresser drawers as I dance along with the music. Putting the last of my clothing away, I turn off the music and head out the door, locking it before making my way around the school. As I enter the west wing hall, I see the boy from earlier getting his shit rocked. Since he was so polite, it only felt right to help. “Hey, what the hell are you doing,” I push him and shout, balling my fists and raising my arms to protect my head, ready to swing. We fight and I, inevitably, lose. Managing to only obtain a black eye, busted lip, and a bloody nose, I make sure the familiar boy is intact. He shows me where the nurse’s office is and I treat both our battle wounds. “Thank you, for this. Would you like to have lunch with my friends and me?” He asks. I agree, as I am new and know no one. 

As we walk to the lunchroom, I ask for the boy's name. “Oh! Silly me. I’m Jeongin!” he said, taking his hand out. “I’m [Y/N],” I say, taking his hand and shaking it. We walk into the lunchroom and it’s crowded. Jeongin squeezed my hand, which I was still holding, and he drags me to a table. I see seven other men, who were concerned as soon as they saw us. Well, not for me. “Jeongin, are you okay?” “Jeongin! Oh my god! My baby’s dying!” “Jeongin! Again?” He sighed and looked at me. I shrugged and he looked back at them. “Hey! I’m okay. I didn’t get hurt as much as usual…” he said, which made me sad. Knowing this is a regular thing is heartbreaking. One of the men at the table looks at me and squints his eyes. “Jeongin… who’s that and why are they hurt?” Jeongin looks at me and his eyes lit up. “This is [Y/N]! They helped me with the fight. They didn’t win, but I still owe them for stepping in. So I brought them here with me!” he said, smiling brightly. I wave at them, and they wave back.

They all introduce themselves and we all start to conversate. I immediately became close to Chan and Jisung, but one person caught my eye. He wasn’t conversating with me at all, not even looking at me. I looked over at Chan and whispered, “What’s wrong with him? He’s been ignoring me since I got here.” He looked at him and sighed. “Changbin is skeptical of you. He hasn’t told me why, but just know that it’ll take a while for him to open up,” he said, shrugging. I scoffed and looked back at Changbin. I caught his eye for a split second, as I sat my stuff and self down, and he turns to talk to Felix almost immediately. I giggle to myself and turn back to Jisung. 

“So, [Y/N]. What do you major in?” he said, propping his head on his palm. “I’m a psychology major. What about you?” I say, smiling. “I’m an art major! Psychology seems hard. Is it?” “Well, no, not really. When you know what you’re doing,” I wink, “Can I see some of your art sometimes?” I continue, bringing my hands together. He nods his head but then stops. “I… don’t have anything on me.” he awkwardly chuckles. When I was gonna reply, the bell rings. Jisung looks at me apologetically. I sigh but get up. “I’ll be going back to my dorm. My official day is tomorrow, so I’ll see you guys then!” I say, waving at them as I walk away back to my dorm. 

I reach my destination and realize I left my key.  I quickly walk back down to the lunchroom in hopes of finding my key. I find that my key is not there. I hope that someone from the group picked it up. As the panic sets in, I start to run to my door. I wait for Jeongyeon.  

She arrives and lets me in the dorm. She lets me in and asks me what happened. I explain what happened to my face and key. She helps me find the boys to see if they had picked up the key. Felix had picked up it with the intent of giving it back. 

I smile at Felix and take the key from him. “Thank you, Felix. I was really worried someone stole it, so glad it was someone I knew who took it!” I say, laughing a little. He chuckles and before he can answer, Changbin yells at him. He looks at me and rolls his eyes. Felix looks at me and says, “I’m sorry for his behavior. Just be patient, alright?”  I smile softly at him and nod. He waves at me and runs to Changbin. Jeongyeon looks at me and raises her eyebrows. “What’s that all about?” she says, in a teasing voice. “Well, Changbin kinda hates my guts, so oh well,” I say, turning back to my dorm to go inside. 

I lay on my bed exhausted. I mean, I’ve walked around a college, unpacked luggage in said college, talked to a bunch of energetic boys, and I lost my key. I need rest. I looked at Jeongyeon -who was on her bed- and made conversation with her. “So, how was it being surrounded by the school’s favorite boy all day?” She asked, smugly. “What do you mean by that,” I wonder. She replied, “Oh, nothing,” and went along with her day. 

After a few months, we all got along pretty well. Well, everyone except Changbin and I. The school year is ending and we still don’t get along. I don’t know what I did to him to deserve this type of treatment. I start packing up and getting ready to move dorms, as it is the end of the year. I walk to my new home to put things away and I run into Jisung. “If you’re going to be my roommate, this is gonna be a fun year,” I tell the kind boy. He responds, “I hope so,” with a small smile. 

We schedule a movie night with all the boys. At around 7:45, Hyunjin finally arrives. I open the door for him. “I had shit to do! Why was this a last-minute thing?” He accuses. “Cry about it, sweetheart,” Changbin chuckles. I make my way back to my seat between Chan and Felix. Felix sets the popcorn on both our laps. As a jumpscare approaches Chan wrests his arm around the backside of the couch. Felix and I huddle closer together for emotional support. As the jumpscare appears on screen, Felix and I jump and popcorn goes flying.

#fanfiction #stray kids x reader #3racha x reader #chan x reader #bang chan x reader #changbin x reader #han jisung x reader #jisung x reader #stray kids #kpop #kpop fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #enemies to lovers #rommate trope #college au

[anautumncarol]

So I came across this and I now have a new concept:

SKZ ships as enemies from the beginning of an enemies to lovers fanfic or AU.

First one up is Minchan. I had in mind a CEO Bang Chan who gets a hit put on him and the assassin is, drumroll please...

Minho!!

Okay so basically Minho is very good at his job, tracks Chan down and manages to corner him in no time, however, what he doesn’t expect is for Chan to always be one step ahead and so it’s a massive game of cat and mouse in which Minho continually gets more and more frustrated and as his frustration rises so does his determination to finally assassinate his target. However, something he doesn’t expect is that as they continue to see each other and he carries on getting closer and closer to killing Chan, Minho starts hesitating with the trigger. He doesn’t know why but he supposes he doesn’t want the chase to be over, no matter the frustration that Chan’s permanent elusiveness brings him.

Paired with some dubiously threatening flirting and sexy sexy knife point tension, their relationship starts to grow a bit more than just assassin-target and arguably starts morphing into a very peculiar acquaintanceship.

This is heavily inspired by “But you won’t” by Dulcetchan on ao3, their fanfictions are absolutely amazing and this one is no exception.

(template credits @/pinkbat5)

#i think i might carry on because this was fun #except that i'm broke and dumb so i was using libreoffice drawer and pdf #which trust me #makes stuff ridiculously difficult #stray kids #skz #minchan #lee minho #lee know #bang chan #minchan enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers

[christopherisfoive]

First post out tomorrow at 11:30 yay! Its only a short one shot like post or preview for a possibly series I could do if anyone is interested enough in it. :)

#bang chan #stray kids #stray kids enemies to lovers #stray kids imagines #bangchan x reader #hyunjin x reader #skz x reader #skz imagines #skz enemies to lovers #collegeau! stray kids