#entry9

[dogamila]

d e a r d i a r y

he we who feels such a way must understand when you scream for what you need well honestly did you stop and think maybe it is just a simple want instead it feels so loud to you us it feels so loud left ear right brain that how could he they not understand the point is if she he does then why are they not responding do i me need more help than we all though or do we us all alone i me in this world while just constantly screaming for what you need turns out i wasn’t screaming the whole time turns out they didn’t know what i needed turns out we’ve been there before and the rest is left off a moment worth carrying a they whom will care forget i said listen we forgot about listen

#entry9 #entry 9

[cheesenstp]

Kasaysayan ng pakikibaka (Entry #9)

Akala ko ang aming huling common module ay patungkol sa Drugs dahil sa parte ng kurikulum ng mga NSTP sa buong bansa ay pagkakaroon ng daan para pangatwiran ang kasalukuyang war on drugs. Buti nalang "Citizenship and Nationalism" ang naging pagtatapos ng aming common module rito. Maganda siyang paglalagom at pagtatapos ng lahat na natutunan sa mga nakaraang meeting upang malaman kung paano na nating tutugunan ang bawat isyu na tinalakay. Hindi tayo naiiwan sa kawalan at tinatanong sa sarili "Ano na?" o, mas nakababagabag, malilimutan na lamang.

Sa diskusyon ni Ma'am Presto, tinalakay niya ang pagkakaiba ng batayan ng pagiging parte ng isang nasyon at estado. Kung ang citizenship ay nakapatungkol sa pagiging kabilang natin ng isang bansa at sinusundan ang mga batas at konstitusyon nito, ang nationalism ay mas kultural at panlipunan. Napapabilang tayo sa isang "nasyon" o komunidad dahil sa pagkakakilanlan natin sa pare-parehas na kasaysayan, kultura, at iba pa. Dito nabubuo ang nasyunalismo na siyang, (supposedly), magpapakilos sa mamamayan na sumapi sa citizenship.

Ang problema ko rito, na siyang idiniin naman din ni Ma'am Presto, na ang pag-iisip na ganito ay pinipisat ang kulturang Pilipino na para bang iisa lang umiiral na kultura, wika, relihiyon, pagidirwang, at iba pa. Sa pagkakaroon ng higit 7000 na isla, hindi natin pwede ipilit ang pagkakaroon ng isang identidad na galing sa aspeto ng kultura. Hindi nga lahat ng wika sa Pilipinas ay mayroong 'po' at 'opo'. Nagkakaroon pa nga ng diskriminasyon sa pagitan ng iba't ibang grupo dahil sa sa iba't ibang paniniwala. Ano ngayon ang nakakapagkaisa sa mga Pilipino? Mula sa pag-aaral ko ng kasaysayan, ito ang sama-samang pakikibaka o collective struggle natin laban sa mga kolonisador at iba't ibang tanikala. Ito ang hindi masyadong nadidiinan sa pag-aaral ng kasaysayan ng bansa sa mga history subjects natin sa paaralan. Iniisip ng DepEd at CHED kung paano papayabungin ang damdaming makabayan ng mga mag-aaral upang paglingkuran nila ang sambayanan (kaya naman may NSTP) pero ang daming mga asignatura na tinatanggal gaya ng Filipino sa ilalim ng CHED Memo 20  at kahit ang Philippine history! Paano kaya mabubuo ang nasyunalismo at "citizenship" kung ang mga avenue upang pag-aralan ito ay tatanggalin? Kung sabagay ay hindi nga natin ito maasahan kung parte pa rin ang mga institusyon na ito ang reaksyunaryong estado na, syempre, nais panatilihin ang kanilang kapangyarihan.

Kaya sa naangangambang politikal na sitwasyon ngayon, dapat humihigit na tayo sa pagiging "socially aware" na lamang. Ito ang pagkakaroon ng sensitivity dahil "aware" tayo sa pagkakaiba-iba natin. Ngunit hinihingi na sa atin ang mangahas at militanteng pagtutunggali sa hegemonya na ito - hindi na lamang sa maayos na pakikisalamuha sa iba bagkus ay inaaral na natin kung bakit ganito ang lipunan at kung paano natin ito babaguhin. Ito ang ginagawa ng isang aktibista - kung saan man sa political spectrum ang kanilang kinabibilangan. Hindi naman kinakalaban ng mga aktibista ang nakasanayan nang kultura at lipunan nang hindi pinag-aaralan ito dahil dito rin nabubuo ang mga plano at solusyon. Dapat pa nga mas pinapalawak ang kaalaman sa pagkikipagtalastasan dahil dito mas napapatalas at nahahamig ang mga tao na sumama sa laban ng pagpapalaya ng bansa.

Ito ngayon ang inaasahan ko sa CWTS 1 - kung ano ang maisip namin na proyekto ay hindi lamang sana sa pagtatapos ng requirement kung hindi dahil mayroon siyang pagganyak na talagang tulungan ang mga tao. Hindi lang ito isang “stop” at pagkatapos ay kalilimutan na ang sektor na kasama namin (in this case, marami sa aming mga plano ay patungkol sa mental health at UP community kasama mga manininda at jeepney drivers). Sana kung tunay nga namin gusto gawing mahalaga ang patitingin at pagpapabuti sa mental health ng mga sektor na ito ay magkaroon puspusan na makipag-ugnayan kasama sila at makiisa sa mga laban nila na siyang nagpapalubha sa kalagayan nila araw-araw. Ito ang hamon sa atin bilang mga estudyante ng Unibersidad at bilang parte ng bayan na may kasaysayan ng pakikibaka.

#can #journal #entry9

[helerisheim-blog]

Entry #9

Hey, Diary. I've spent half of my allowance for food today. Heck, I can't stop myself from spending all of my money for food. I'm always like this, craving for foods. Who doesn't? But lately, I've been feeling so lonely, if not feeling empty. I don't know why I feel so sad these past few days. Thought I'm not surprised, this unexplainable loneliness visits me often. For years. I'm still trying to get used to it knowing that it'll leave me after a few days.

When that unexplainable loneliness is with me, I'm starting to crave more, eat more, and spend more just to satisfy my stomach. Is this stress eating, Diary? I guess it is. I always feel tired too but can't sleep early.

Wow, really. My poor body, my health, sorry for not taking good care of you. Sometimes I want to hurt myself, but I don't want to use any sharp things because I'm afraid of feeling pain. I want to hurt myself for being like this but at the same time I don't.

*sigh*

Despite this feeling, I'm still good at showing that I'm okay in front of everyone. Even if I'm not. After the laugh, the happiness will vanish and go back to being empty. I just need someone who can listen and understand me, but I have none. I don't want to be a bother to my family and friends. I don't want anyone to think that I'm just being over-dramatic. I don't have any heavy reason or big problem to feel this way and complain about it. So it's better to hide.

Smile. Tell jokes. And laugh.

Three best things to do to hide your real feelings even though you don't feel like doing so.

5:42pm

-Tue, November 13

#entry9 #loneliness #stress eating #tired

[spes-elpis]

7/26/2021

today i received flowers for my birthday! its not my birthday today but i lied on facbok when i first opened an account and never corrected it. they were a surprise from my exboyfriend’s family. it was sweet. also i didn't come on here to write about it, but WE GOT ENGAGED! that's right! EXboyfriend now fiance! he proposed to me at a scenic spot by the cliffs of a beach! and it was beautiful! he actually proposed to me last month on the 15th. its a perfect date that he chose intentionally, knowing i like specific dates. it was nice. we ate at CPK beforehand and had the worst server ever. but it was funny because another server stepped in to help us. anyway afterward, we drove to the cliffs and as i was facing the waves he had gotten down on one knee and as i turned to make a joke about farting, i stood in shock repeating “no way” in an excited-cant-believe-its-finally-happening type way. before my eyes instantly started tearing up, i was able to take a picture of the moment in my mind to keep forever. his eyes and face held hope excitement and the most love ive ever seen on someone. and that love was for me. something i never thought was possible. im sure he wanted to say more but he himself was excited. i cried waterfalls as i nodded yes to him and hugged him. at first i wasn't sure what to do next but put the ring on my finger. which, lemme tell ya, it sparkled in the sun like fairy dust shaped into a glittering gold and moissanite sunflower. my favorite flower of all time. everything was so nice the only thing that dampened the mood was the realization that i couldn't call my dad and tell him the happy news that hes wanted to hear since we had started dating 4 years ago. anyway i know Fiance doesn't like talking about wedding stuff as it is “a woman's sort of thing” so i told him to let me know when hes ready to discuss the wedding and date and all that it entails we can talk about it. he agreed. well its been over a month now and we still haven't discussed the wedding. not even a date or a location. and to top that off as of today it has been about 3 weeks since we last had intimacy. im both excited for our future yet stuck in the same old stuff just now without intimacy. i dont think this is going to lead to disaster, but it definitely isnt an ideal situation.

#7/26/2021 #entry9

[frankiescolorpics]

Marcus Rodriguez -

“Magic, Alchemy, Explorers & Pirates.... Shots of a magical nature: wizards, alchemy, herbalists, druids and magic - also, explorers and pirates!”

https://www.flickr.com/photos/memoryweaver/albums/72157716676941756

#entry9 #week3

[dry-soliloquies]

The Rollercoaster of My Pre-Yuppie Life

My previous senti posts were all related to this—the fear and anxiety of ending up being jobless. I am really fearful of that idea which has been lurking at the back of my mind since the end of 2019 when I finished my internship. It intensified when I got my transcript of records in February and when I was rejected at my first ever job application.

My first job application was in the municipal government of our town, I took advantage of my Civil Service that was why I applied for it. And to be honest, because I know the salary and the benefits would be really good. But I was not accepted and I moved on quickly, thinking that it was not for me.

Then as I was gearing up to apply in different companies, the novel coronavirus pandemic happened. The whole Luzon was put into a lockdown. I felt like the world was against me that time.

But hey, there is the internet and online application is the trend nowadays. So I took advantage of that.

I sent applications after applications, resumés to cover letters, emails to text messages until some companies called me.

Here comes this one company that accepted me. I WAS ACCEPTED. I AM TO BE EMPLOYED. I WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE THAT.

BUT GOOD THING I DID NOT.

Because now, I will end up turning down the job offer. As much as I want to accept—because you know there is that voice inside this head that keeps whispering negative comments like this offer will be the only and last—the salary will be more or less just equal to what would be my daily expenses. It is just a breakeven. Not even considering my travel time and the company location as it is in Makati.

My mind is still at war... as reality keeps slapping me with the hard truth.

#dry-soliloquies #journal #entry9 #woes #pre-employment #rollercoaster application #jobs #fresh graduates dilemmas

[forgotten-huntress]

Entry 9.

I've got the strangest experience today.

It is the first time I have visited a new place – or rather, a very ancient one, by the looks of it – called the Tower. I thought it was going to be a tall, narrow building I would be able to hide in, and from where I could fire ballista onto passing Monsters. But I was so wrong!

The place itself is huge, entirely made of ruins and cobblestone, it looks like it could be an extinct city. A few Aptonoths and a lot of vegetation have taken over the area. The feel I get from these ruins... is extremely familiar, and still mysterious. As I moved inside the tower itself, I noticed how old it was; and most importantly, that there were writings on the walls. And drawings, half-erased due to the action of time. The fact that parts of the tower were partly destroyed doesn't help the conservation of the treasure left by the civilization that once erected this building.

All I had to do was eliminating a few Remobras that had invaded the place, but I'll definitely come back to study it further.

To be honest, I’m not certain the stone that made the tower’s walls were regular stones...

#I'm late #entry9 #diary entry #mhfu #monster hunter

[abarcaart]

#zoinks #screech #entry9 #inktober #inktober2017 #savebythebell #illustration #character #fun #art #zigbrushpen #greytonedpaper

#character #greytonedpaper #screech #inktober2017 #fun #entry9 #art #zigbrushpen #savebythebell #illustration #zoinks #inktober

[wheretheunseenlies]

181226 Poem Diary // Entry 9

They say, ‘too much love will kill you’

I say, too much love is setting the person free

Seeing that person from afar

Watching him smile like everything’s fine with your absence

Loving is painful

But I can say that I’m happy

As long as you are happy

8:57 pm

#poemdiary #entry9

[cartilag0]

“YOU BROUGHT YOUR DOG??!!” 

Entry#9 Omg xDD

#marble hornets #entry9 #marble hornets alex #alex #mydraws #marble hornets fan art #fan art

[denlergoldbergwise]

Brief Hiatus

So last week was hell week for the musical les mis and both Sarah and I are heavily involved. we have not only stopped working for a dew weeks, but i feel like we have moved backwards in our wise project. The room we are cleaning was the BOYS dressing room for the musical, so naturally, it was trashed. Sarah and I tried not to freak out because we know we can clean it easily, its just hard seeing all your hard work get stepped on. Also, my part of the project (the choral conducting) will most likely be pushed until after Canada because we don’t have a lot of time left between now and our trip and I want to make sure I have as much time as possible to work with the choir. 

#Emily #entry9

[lauraepartain]

Missing @newportfolkfest this week and wishing I could have gone. New journal entry up with a few photographs I've taken there over the years <3

#newportfolkfest #newportri #lauraepartain

[vndrea-xo]

I’m about to be 25. Feeling extremely old. Omg.

This is my generation, my time. Yet I feel so defeated and not up to par.

So much I want to add but it just feels so negative, and although I want to remain positive I don’t feel it.

#entry9

[a-witch-s-scrapbook]

Data Visualization Disaster

Data Visualization is a key part of any piece of data being presented to a community. In this case, it was the lack of understandable and clear visualizations that could’ve possibly been the cause of the challenger disaster. In 1986, the challenger, briefly after its launch, exploded, killing everyone aboard. As much of a tragedy that was, new evidence leads some analysts to believe that it was in-efficient data visualizations that lacked the clarity to reason with the high up’s in control of the launch. Some speculate that if those has been more efficient, handled the material better, and were more clear, that the engineers would’ve been able to convince the shuttle not to launch. Now, technology and rhetoric has vastly changed and improved since 1986, yet the question still arises. As you can see in the visualizations themselves, there is no color, and all the information is pushed closely together. Even without any advanced engineering information, the images look confusing and unbalanced. Everything is placed so tightly packed that interpreting it is complicated and not thought out. And for some executive with little knowledge but what he is given explanation, this, in my opinion, makes a good case for explaining why the launch happened.

https://www.govloop.com/community/blog/challenger-disaster-importance-data-visualization/

#entry9

[dailydiaryentries]

18/05/17

Robotics was stressful. Juniors weren’t listening nor respecting me. Oh well.

#18/05/17 #18/05/2017 #entry9 #update1 #day7

[yeahimreallyawkward]

Conducting and teaching music

I had another idea for our wise project that I'm beyond excited about. I asked Mrs Ferraro if I could teach and conduct a peice that were doing for Canada, the Lord bless you and keep you. I've been working all weekend on how I'm going to teach it, what I want to highlight on, what to say to the class, in what order to run things, how to keep everyone from getting bored, and especially my Conducting. My mom gave me a lesson on conducting and from what she taught me, I've been practicing endlessly to make sure I don't royally screw up. She's gone to college for this so she knows what she's doing. She know so much more than a thought and it made me realize how much work really goes into working on a peice. It made me even more excited for my future in learning the techniques of conducting, teaching and performing .

#emily #entry9