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metamorphesque · 10 months

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I’m envious of poetry for being more & better than I could ever be.

ode to my envy, chen chen

#chen chen #poetry #poems #literature #quotes #writing #ode to my envy

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burningvelvet · 5 months

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i see lord byron has been editing percy shelley's wikipedia page again

#they didn’t have to roast him like that #funny #but sad #but funny #this is sadder knowing he envied byron’s fame & then hated himself for it omg #& it appears byron either didnt know OR chose to not mention it due to awkwardness #torturing myself by reading about how shelley tortured himself #percy shelley #lord byron #literature #english literature #poetry #literary history #history #the romantics #romanticism #romantic literature #byronposting #percy posting

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tabby-shieldmaiden · 10 months

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Wrote another Wikipedia poem to deal with my feelings ayyy. This isn’t one of my better ones, but I guess it helped me say something on my mind, so that’s good.

#tabby says something #wikipedia #wikipedia poem #Wikipedia poetry #found poetry #jealousy #envy #my Wikipedia poetry

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yeesiine · 5 months

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#perry poetry #magic #eyes #stars #envy

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i-want-to-be-a-poet · 5 months

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maybe i am a people pleaser i long to be loved by all and fear being hated however i never seem to get what i want.

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eff-plays · 7 months

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So now that I've figured out why Hira might go for Astarion ... I am now struggling to figure out why Astarion would go for them in the long run. Like, because he's barely his own person at this point, what are his preferences? Ya know? Beyond how they treat him, beyond the obvious, what about them is it that he likes? Ya know? "You were kind and patient and trusted me" is all well and good but that's still 1) related to him and 2) doesn't quite tap into the sense that he also wants them for himself for other reasons aside from wanting more of what they're doing for him. Ya know? Ya fucking know?

#bg3 #worsties to lovers #this isn't me complaining btw this is just my process #but it is kinda difficult in this case ngl #cuz the poor guy hasn't figured himself out yet #i headcanon him as like ... demi or graysexual so he wouldn't be immediately attracted to them #which he basically confirms in game that he's not so #but basically i can't just say that he thinks they look hot and diesel even though they absolutely do #i do have some ideas mind you #the fact that they're a bard and clearly in love with music and poetry and the arts #like in a genuine way #i think he finds that attractive cuz he envies it on some level #to love a part of the shitty world he lives in and thus make it slightly less shitty in the process #i think he also likes that they can make him feel things without like ... touching him or really doing anything *for* him specifically #like by just performing something with their whole heart they are able to evoke emotion #and it's not pretentious or forced like the poetry his victims would read at him #in my head i think their first genuine kiss is right after hira reads him one of their fave poems and it makes astarion feel so weird #that his only response is 'hmm. i should kiss them on the mouth i think'#and it absolutely obliterates the nice platonic vibe and hira leaves and astairon can't figure out why tf he just did that for #god they're so cringefail

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azuilys · 6 days

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Husk of Opulent Dreams

-Azuilys

That's it!

I concede.

I'll simply live as a husk of opulent dreams.

Desire for peace,

Desire for fun,

Desire for that blissful feeling to confidently declare aloud that I've won!

Time halts for those who can pay, but for me a month feels as short as a day.

Days changed to Weeks, Weeks turned to Months,

Months morphed to years of pushing effort,

Pouring life, sanity and tears yet somehow, I'm still stuck in the same affairs.

"No one's better than the other",

In a perfect world, that is true,

but live life long enough and you're bound to bump into someone who's simply better than you.

It's always been easier, always.

While here I persist.

Why couldn't that be me? Here, I rather not exist.

It's never over, isn't it?

They started ahead, so they'll finish faster,

While others struggle start at all, since their life is a complete disaster.

Who would think twice if it's all they've ever known, "This is how life should be."

They'll imply in the most unfitting tone,

And that's true it should be that way, but alas it seems that I've still haven't struck a better day.

Clustering my mind, and trying not to glare wont stifle the burning envy I channel in despair,

A hope of opulence and a feeling of content.

I'm working so hard to see my way through, while you've ungrateful lived it all and that's exactly why I hate you.

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coqueliccot · 3 months

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Everything suits you so well, If you get every single card in the deck, how can I play ? Your hand is unbeatable. It's almost innate, this affinity you have for everything I pursue. The ease with which you glide your fingers over everything I reach for. I'm still trying to get ahead, to surpass you. In something at least. And my throat tightens when I see him turn to you and my stomach turns when I see your grades and I wanted to throw up all summer long. I'd tolerate it better if you didn't take such apparent pleasure in looking down on me. I've always noticed a lack of candor in your features. Something in your gaze or about your nose. They don't really like you here, it's true you could be nicer. But we both know you don't have to. That voice will keep charming, sugarcoating all your nasty remarks.

I know I tend to trivialize your triumphs. You're clearly made for it. It spares you any doubt. And it's all on me, people like me are miserable.

Tout te va si bien, ta main est imbattable. C'est presque inné, cette affinité que tu possèdes pour tout ce que je poursuis. Cette aisance avec laquelle tu glisses tes doigts pour t'emparer de tout ce que j'envie tant. J'essaye encore de passer devant, de te doubler. En quelque chose au moins. Sinon, je sens mon ventre se nouer comme si j'avais avalé une cuillère de plus. Je le tolèrerais mieux si tu n'éprouvais pas ce plaisir apparent à me regarder de haut. J'ai toujours discerné un manque de candeur sur tes traits. Quelque chose dans ton regard ou sur ton nez. On ne t'apprécie pas vraiment ici, tu ne cherches pas à te faire aimer.

J'ai tendance à banaliser tes triomphes. Tu es clairement faite pour. Ça t'épargne tous les doutes.

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nusaibaaaa · 6 months

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sensitivity.

sometimes i hate it when people are so sensitive. not because i hurt them but because they have the ability to show their emotions without feeling the need to hide them. i hate it, because that part of me was killed while for them it seems to live on— why did I have to be the one massacred? why did I get the funeral? it sprouts from envy. yes. such a terrible world and an even worse feeling!

i hate it because sensitivity takes another form of courage which for me was suppressed and silenced by people insisting they’re making me stronger. i don’t get to cry in front of people, i don’t get to receive genuine sympathy— nobody knows me, these sensitive parts of me that were majority of my character when i was a child. a wall closes me off from who i used to be, and it makes me appear cold and unfeeling, something i had to master because of how deeply i felt everything. when i see people my age still retaining their sensitivity, their mastery of expressing their feelings, not only does it paradoxically make me remorseful for them but it also enrages me. just look at them— no fear of tears flowing, of emotions showing. they aren’t being killed for it. they’re not getting told they’re weak. but i did. a biased death— mine was intentionally chosen while theirs wasn’t. it’s like sitting up from the grave and watching others still walk by, living and well while i’m lying dead. and yet the living seeks the dead’s sympathy. how can i give it to you when i’m not alive in the first place?

#poets on tumblr #sad poem #angry poetry #nightposting #poetry #literature #poems on tumblr #love #poem #anger #desire #sensitive #sensitivity #envy #jealousy

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lunebordeauxpoetry · 10 months

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I know I try to convince myself and others that I have become a disgusting and immoral person because of my traumas

but I already was before

I have met evil people in my life

does this mean that I was worse than them?

they hurt me out of envy

and now I'm the envious one

I hope I won't hurt anyone

I hope I won't stain my hands the same way.

– envy.

lunebordeaux, 23/03/23.

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visloa777 · 7 months

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I envy her

the way her red hair dangles over his shoulder

the way her laughter makes him glow

I envy him

the way he holds her so delicately, as if she’s the rarest thing on earth

the way his eyes are attached to her at all times

#writing #poetry #poem #poetblr #love #envy #i envy her #heartbreak #crushcore #creativewriters #female writers #girlhood #poetic prose #s

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september-poetry · 7 months

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be afraid and do it anyway

its insurmountable

bile builds up in your throat

swallow it down

choke

your heart beats out of your chest

breaking ribs on its way down

let them pierce your skin

let them out

viscera is cold in the open air

the world is empty

slick with blood

a nightmare of our own creation

a soft blanket of the end

desolation crawls

sinew shifting under skin

consumed by your own suffocation

.

a ragged breath

raw and desolate

echoed by its own loneliness

twitching tentative limbs become one

symbiosis with the self

reborn from the end

hope in the destruction

consumed in the seduction of living

the taste of raw existence

crucified skin torn as you push yourself through

the wax melts before the fall

the mercy of the sun

of life itself

is to be reborn

21 / 09 / 23

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just-two-blokes · 5 months

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Someone: 'What are your coping skills towards your gender discovery journey?'

Me: 'I create playlists.'

Them: 'But-'

Me: 'I create playlists with songs that talk about the things I‘m terrified to say out loud. With songs that feel like a warm hug. With songs that understand me..'

Them: 'But.. How do you let it out?'

Me: 'I write. I write poems that I‘ll never show anyone. I write texts to process my feelings. I write to let the thoughts and realizations out before they are able to eat me up from the inside.'

Them: 'Does it help?'

Me: 'Yes.. somehow.'

Them: 'But.. you could just ignore it.'

Me: 'Yes. I could. But if I‘ve learned anything then that ignoring things like this will only make it worse. The more you ignore it, the more you push it away, the harder the feelings will come back. So I‘ll just try to do the things that feel right.. things that feel like myself.'

Them: 'Why?'

Me: 'Because if you hide.. it won‘t go away.'

#gender discovery #gender questioning #gender envy #poetry #music #literally the two only ways for me to deal with this

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angeloverload · 6 months

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I don't just want to be loved

I want to be owned

Proudly, loudly

And adored

Take me

Bite me

Hurt me

Just so I know I'm yours

I don't want you to

Lust over my body

I want you to

Live for my words

Keep me

Hold me

Love me

As your only equal in this world

Stay with me

Stand next to me

Overpower me

Because I hold all the power over you

It's a give and take relationship

That is only bad until it's good

No one can take you away from me

Because I would kill them before they could

We can love each other in our own way

It's us against the world

#can you tell im obsessed with hannigram?#its just that i envy their relationship. i know wtf is wrong with me.#but as an ace maybe aro person theres just something about what these two have that i crave #honestly and im going to regret saying this but i have the urge to be bitten by someone or even to bite them back #ive had this thought before but after reading this amazing hannigram fic ive realised that im so messed up lol #i want the inticimy not the sex #i dont just want to be loved i want to be the only thing that matters #after being seen as less worthy just because of my gender. i will not settle for anything other than equals #poetry #poem #hannibal #hannigram #will graham

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i-want-to-be-a-poet · 5 months

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i want to be forgiving i really do i want to lead with love and the kindness that accompanies it but others shall not allow for it perhaps i shall offer them love regardless.

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aggressivenesswhilecrying · 7 months

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A nameless face in the crowd, another eprson wandering by. That's all I really am. You'll see me, and you won't think twice, I will never cross your mind again. Maybe you think of my outfit of my hair, bit after today, I will be nothing to you.

I'm another someone in the grocery store, in your way at the seasonings.

You won't know my gender.

You won't know my name.

You won't know my pronouns.

You won't know anything about who I am.

Someone living their own story so far from yours. I enter your life, and I leave it all the same. A nameless face in the crowd.

A void for a face, you will never remember my face, or hear my voice.

My skin color will be blurry in your mind, was I as white as a snowflake, or honey colored?

Was my hair pink or blue?

Did I wear sneakers or sandals?

You'll never remember the way my name tasted on your tongue.

And isn't there something sweet about that?

To be someone only known in the moment?

#aggressive poetry #the kind of gender envy a faceless horror gives me is no joke #sadly

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