#ep: this life we choose
Top 5 911+ ls episodes both together
thank you k!! ahhh fghjshgks okay i've been thinking about this
bad call, lone star 2.08
searchers, 911 3.03
friends with benefits, lone star 2.04
buck begins, 911 4.05
texas proud, lone star 1.03
put “top 5” anything in my ask
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The framework for Xena going to free Callisto is fantastic. They’re facing a near-unwinnable situation, and Xena’s up against it. If they don’t seize the opportunity to take Velasca out now, while she’s still a newborn baby god getting her footing, they may never be able to do it, and there’s pretty much no way that ends well for them. Callisto is unhinged and devoted to killing them, so also not a great choice, but at least they know where she IS, which means she’s the best chance they’ve got. It all sucks, and I don’t blame Gabby for being kind of pissed about it all.
But what I really want to focus on here is the way Gabrielle is -- and isn’t -- handling her loss and grief, and how we’re seeing another building block for The Bitter Suite.
Gabrielle has had her heart ripped to shreds by Callisto, in the most painful personal way possible. It’s part of what makes Callisto so an incredible and terrifying villain: she doesn’t want the kill, she wants the PAIN. Perdicus’ death wasn’t about Perdicus, and it wasn’t even about Gabrielle, which manages to make it all even more galling. It was about Xena and nothing but Xena. Someone three steps removed from all of this, someone who never heard of Callisto and only barely knew Xena, was brutally murdered on his wedding night because Callisto needs Xena to suffer, and this was a delightfully roundabout way of making that happen.
It’s Callisto’s doing, no question, but you can’t entirely strike out Xena’s role in it all which -- AND HERE COMES THE IMPORTANT PART -- is something Gabrielle NEVER. EVER. EVER. DOES.
Gabrielle has this burning coal of rage that she slowly, over the course of the series, continues to feed and nurture, but never allows herself to direct at the one place she needs. That’s what makes Callisto such a pivotal role in all this for Gabby, because she’s the “safe” one to hate. That’s what makes it all explode in their faces when when the coals get too hot, when Callisto can’t be blamed.
It’s so fascinating, watching this series from the perspective of knowing how it all unfolds, to see them ignore opportunity after opportunity to have avoided SO MUCH PAIN, because they couldn’t bear to help each other off the damned pedestals they’d built.
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*stares up at ceiling* walk the moon is the only band i’ll be a bandie for
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((Okay after tumblr DELETED this post, I guess I’ll try doing this again.))
Something that I've been reading a lot in some discussion posts about Logan and that "he's not ignored-- he's been so important to Thomas and the others and he's been thanked and stuff why is he so mad?"
I think I can clear that up for you. But let’s review a few things:
So Logan has been the definitive mediator throughout most of the previous episodes. He was the stage director for CYBG where he was thoroughly listened to; LVP was all about Thomas learning to listen to both of his most dramatic and loud sides aka Logan and Roman and how they can work together; LNTAO is a bit of a setback for Logan but it is his understanding of how the song fit into the conversation, as well as the puppets, that caused Thomas to have his eventual epiphany about his issue going into the episode; in EP Logan is the overall narrator, explaining how all these things that Virgil finds embarrassing were actually very needed in his overall development as a child and a teenager.
SVS has a very important Logan scene that does point towards my whole point:
Logan is quick to say that it isn’t working out. This is presumably obvious by the audience. Thomas is always scatterbrained, late to things, and obviously not looking at the calendar Logan has made considering the only thing on the calendar for April 13th is the callback and not the wedding. If Thomas had been listening to Logan on a normal basis, he would’ve known that but when it’s revealed, even Thomas himself seems a bit surprised immediately jumping to that Janus is lying and must have tampered with it. The rest of the episode goes on and Logan is given the benched seat but still has his opinions put out there for everyone as Patton calls on him a time or two.
DWIT is where Logan shines. He constantly puts Remus in his place throughout the episode also while proving the point that logic is the only way to work through intrusive thoughts, and that Remus is necessary to some extent. This is also an episode that I think Logan thinks was a turning point in his relationship with Thomas. Thomas sincerely thanks him directly and calls him cool. Logan is not used to that emotional kind of sincerity from Thomas directly and I think it affected him in a way that made him proud of the work he does, more than he would normally be. Logan now realizes that maybe Thomas will listen to him a bit more.
And by listening to him, he means allowing him to serve his true function. Logan, as logic and basically organizer of all of Thomas’s mental notes, likes diligently planning things and keeping order to Thomas’s life to help him live the best life he possibly can. Logan thinks now will be the time that Thomas actually chooses Logan to be the lead side in his life. Maybe for the first time.
Logan had already been pushed to the side once when Thomas decided he wanted to quit his education to become a Vine Creator/Youtube Personality. Roman became center stage but with so much pressure on Internet Celebs, Patton and Virgil also became pretty important. Logan was last on the priority list and as a side, his wants for Thomas have been last on the totem pole so to speak. So now that Thomas has seen how cool Logan is, Logan believes he can finally get some organization and stuff done in Thomas’s life and finally be listened to for what he wants, not just what he can give.
But then, POF happens. Logan is once again pushed out of the conversation and the more important things are emotionally driven, which focuses again on Patton and Roman, with a bit of Janus included. Logan also takes offense to the fact that nobody noticed he was missing and leaves after he done doing what he always does, bringing reason to the situation at hand. I mean, that’s all he’s good for right? He can’t help Thomas in any other way apparently. All of his other attempts have failed so why bother sticking around and hoping Thomas listens to him?
Then we fall on WTIT, Logan looks so happy upon first showing up to Thomas when he wakes up. We learn later that 5am Thomas made a lot of promises to Logan about getting lots of chores and things done today. Logan is happy because Thomas is gonna listen to him and we all know how Logan feels when deadlines are met and projects get completed.
But then Remus comes into play because Thomas is distracted by Nico not responding to his text messages from 4am. Logically, most people are asleep at that time of night so worrying about someone not answering around then would be kind of silly. Logan doesn’t seem to know about Nico not responding or at least he hasn’t noticed directly what’s troubling Thomas. We know he sees everything Thomas does to an extent because of a previous episode (“Have you seen the Office bloopers?” “Yes I have seen them 15 times because I am a part of you!”) so it makes sense to assume that Logan should know about the messages.
Remus is able to keep distracting Thomas because he’s so focused on why Nico hasn’t responded to his message yet and in this way, he’s able to keep Thomas from doing what Logan wants him to do. Over and over and over again. He’s unable to eat, he’s unable to do the dishes, he’s unable to clean up the litter everywhere—Logan increasingly gets more frustrated at the fact that Remus won’t leave them alone so maybe Thomas can get something done. However, Logan is going against his own logic here.
If we call back to DWIT, Logan explicitly says:
And yet, that’s what Logan is doing here. He’s trying to stop Remus instead of finding out what the real problem is. In an attempt to finally get Thomas to listen to him and do what he wants, he’s ignoring Thomas’s actual problem: the messages from Nico.
Also something very important in this scene here when Logan is trying to get Remus to stop or just listen to him:
Thomas is looking at his phone again and we’ve gone from sad that Nico is ignoring him to anger. His eyebrow furrow in frustration and his nose twitches like his breathing has gotten faster. Then it snaps back to Logan who finally snaps:
“STOP IGNORING ME!”
The thing is, I think Logan says this without realizing exactly what he’s saying or what he’s feeling at the moment because while some of his feelings are his own, some of them are Thomas’s feelings at Nico for, as far as Thomas knows, ignoring his text messages. As seen here:
He really was taken aback by how angry he really is. Because Orange is clearly affecting him here, but I think he was using Logan to affect Thomas too.
We know that Thomas doesn’t normally get mad at anything within canon; he’s pretty passive and usually let’s things roll off his shoulders. But today, the fact that his house is a mess, he can’t seem to get anything done, Nico ignoring him, and the constant intrusive thoughts that just won’t go away and keep messing with him… it’s become too much. He actually was about to explode, which is what happened to Logan. It only didn’t happen to Thomas because Nico called him just before so crisis averted in that regard.
Remus is pleased to finally see some emotion out of Logan and responds with: “But who do you really want to scream that at?” as he sinks out, seemingly referencing the fact that Logan is upset with Thomas constantly pushing his needs as a side away.
Nico then invites Thomas out and of course Thomas immediately accepts which Logan is surprised at which basically confirms he did not know about Thomas’s Nico problems that had been bothering him all day. The conversation downstairs is the culmination of Thomas and Logan’s relationship. Thomas throws on some clothes to leave and Logan asks him about his needs, the plans they had made that day. Thomas says he will get to it eventually and even makes a joke about tomorrow Thomas or whatever before blurting out: “This is just really important.”
That is an image of a side who realizes that to Thomas, his needs are not important. What’s more important is something else… again.
As he sinks out, Logan hugs his planner. That is what is important to him, but it was made pretty clear that just because it’s important to him doesn’t mean it’s important to Thomas.
In the end card, Logan spends most of it with his arms closed tightly around his body, as if holding onto himself in the same way he did his planner. He also seems rather quiet—he speaks but his words aren’t full of that proud tone he usually carries. It’s soft and weak, or rather timid. He is happy for Thomas but he’s also upset.
The way I see it is that while Thomas and the other sides do take advice and learn from Logan all the time on his knowledge, that’s different than actually listening. Logan’s needs as a side, his organizational and planning work, is ignored all the time. Let’s put it into a different perspective.
Let’s say you had a friend. They are so important to you and you all hang out together all the time. However, the friend begins to focus on something else more and you begin to drift apart. You don’t really understand this new thing your friend loves but you continue to help them anytime something goes wrong with this new endeavor, because you love them. They come back to you time and time again for more help and while you don’t mind helping them, it would be nice if they could do something you enjoy too instead of it always being about them. You don’t say this, but it’s something you feel inside. Then one day, your friend calls you. They’ve planned all day around spending time with you! You make plans and you’re so excited for them to come over and hang out. But as you begin to do something, their phone pings. They apologize but have to respond. It’s for that other focus. You understand but it keeps happening and eventually they’re called away from hanging out with you. Neither of you have really done anything that day because of the constant distractions taking your friend’s attention away from you. At this point, you’re upset and say “but I had a whole day plan of things for us to do.” “And we will, I promise. Maybe next week. This is just really important, okay?” The friend points to the phone and then excuses themself and leaves your house.
That is the situation with Logan and Thomas.
Getting complemented for your knowledge and smarts, and getting thanks for helping in situations is great and all, but meaningful reciprocation of that same time and energy from the other party means so much and if you keep giving and giving, eventually you have nothing more to give. You feel used and useless.
Tl;dr: Logan wants a more meaningful relationship with Thomas where not only can he teach Thomas things, but also make life better for Thomas but Thomas keeps pushing Logan away in that aspect, claiming that things are just more important than what Logan needs as a side.
(This is 2000 words… I’m gonna go think about something else for a bit LOLOL)
Also note this:
Thomas is standing in front of the letter O. O for ORANGE MAYBE HMMMMMMM /jk i honestly don’t know but I find it funny out of all the letters in the words, he’s standing in front of the only O.
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(Not my Gif.)
Summary: Zemo gives you what he thinks you deserve. *Some TFATWS Ep. 3 Spoilers.*
Pairing: Zemo x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Smut for days baby. Dirty Talking, Possession, marking, Soft!Dom Zemo. 18+ Only.
Word Count: 4.2K
A/N: Look we all know we're walking dangerous territory, simping for a war criminal. But Sugar Daddy Zemo got me feeling some type of way and also, Daniel Brüle is hot asf. Also, I don't actually know german so pls if it's off just blame google translate, I just have an insatiable language kink and I needed the pet names more than air itself. I thought about making this a chaptered fic, but I barely had the time to write this, never mind chapters of it before he likely fucks over Sam and Bucky next episode. Anyways, enjoy!
Here’s the thing.
You knew he was dangerous. You knew his past, the EKO Scorpion kill squad and everything with the Avengers, manipulating them and breaking them up from the inside. He was smart, unpredictable. You knew there was a very real potential that you could be hurt - or worse - if you went down the road.
And maybe, in a past life that would’ve been enough to stop you. But you weren’t who you used to be. You liked playing with fire now, inviting danger and chaos rather than straying from it. You had lived in - hid in, was more accurate - Madripoor for a handful of years now. You laid low, kept yourself under the radar of the Power Broker and those who worked for him. This way, no one bothered you and you could live fragments of a normal life, Trading and bartering to make a living. But living this way, like forgotten trash on a sidewalk, got old.
Maybe that’s why when you caught his attention, you didn’t shy away from it.
It had happened so fast. You were dancing, just intoxicated enough that the rubbing of strangers' bodies against yours was not just welcomed, but encouraged. So encouraged that when a new body, tall and firm behind you, took the place of another, you didn’t hesitate to back up into the warmth. His hands gripped your hips tightly, not stopping or guiding you, just resting. Turning your head slightly to see what your new dance partner looked like, you startled a little seeing the Baron.
Helmut chuckled, a low sound you felt rather than heard, and ducked his head down to speak into your ear, “You know who I am.”
You let your body relax back into his, feeling reckless enough to bless the menacing man with your flirtations, your head falling back onto his, “I’ve heard a thing or two.”
“And yet you trust me to hold you like this,” his hands flex on your hips, just hard enough to show the strength they hold, “Like a lover.”
You grab one of his hands, leading it down to your upper thigh where your knife holster sits, never once letting his hand leave your body.
“If I didn’t want you touching me, you’d know it, Baron.”
The gust of breath you felt against the side of your neck and the large hand gripping your thigh had shivers rolling pleasantly down your spine.
“You are far too beautiful to reside in these undergrounds,” he spun you around in his grasp, allowing you to get a good look at his face, “A woman like yourself should be treated with the most expensive riches, the finest wines. She should drain a man of his earnings.”
You laughed, not expecting the words that came from his mouth nor how handsome he was, even this close, “Point me to the man who’s willing.”
He smirked at you, but there was a smugness to it. A glimmer in his eye that suggested he had the riches and the desire to give you anything you wanted. You felt like you were drowning in his gaze, lost as you were under the heat of it. He looked somewhere behind you, pulling his eyes from you to nod once at whatever, or whoever, had stolen his attention from you. When they returned to you, the heat and desire were replaced with determination.
“It is with great regret that I must leave you, for now,” He captured your hand, bringing it up to his lips, the softness of them brushing lightly against your knuckles, “I can get you out of Madripoor, give you a life you deserve. If you meet me tomorrow morning, the airstrip.”
The world felt like it froze around you. The rational part of your brain was screaming at you. You couldn’t trust him. You Shouldn’t trust him. But as you stared into his eyes you saw nothing but honesty.
“And if I don’t?” You ask, just to buy yourself some time.
His hand travels up your arm, taking your chin between his thumb and pointer finger securely, “I will not pressure you. I’d leave you be, but the ghost of you would haunt me, schatzi.”
And with that, he was gone. Leaving you with nothing more than your thoughts, mentally preparing how quickly you could pack your things and leaving Madripoor behind. After all, you’ve always loved taking risks.
The next few weeks were a blur. Zemo was laying low, but his form of laying low was still luxury to you. It was private jets and upscale accommodations, not to mention that he was a man of his word. He spoiled you. Within three days of being in his presence, you had acquired a whole new wardrobe. Your suitcases - also new - were filled to the brim with the fanciest and latest fashion. You had rare jewels on nearly every piece of jewelry you owned. Maybe spoiled was an understatement. You’ve only dreamed of owning riches like these.
He had picked something particular for you to wear tonight, both of you making an appearance at some sort of party with some higher-ups. It was all laid out on the king-sized bed, a little black dress of sorts. It was short and sheer in its long sleeves, the sparkles in the fabric ensured that you would shimmer under any lighting. With a simple clutch, matching jewelry and a cropped, white fur jacket to keep you warm until you got to your destination. You looked good. You felt good.
He looked just as good. Sporting an outfit similar to the one you had met him in, instead choosing a dark red turtleneck to create a stunning relation between both your outfits. Nothing had happened between the two of you yet. Aside from lingering glances and innocent touches, he had been a gentleman. The chemistry was there, for sure. You were able to joke and talk with the man, matching his wit and charm every step of the way. And he loved it.
“Best behaviour tonight, schatzi.” He had said, low in your ear as you walked towards the venue.
You had smiled back at him, the perfect picture of innocence, “Always, Baron.”
And at the time, you had fully meant it. But you found yourself craving him. He looked too good, it honestly wasn’t fair. The way that ridiculous fur jacket draped over his shoulders, fostering a powerful ambience. And you knew he was faring no better himself if by the way his eyes were glued to your curves was anything to go by.
So, you decided, maybe you shouldn’t be on your best behaviour tonight. It’s not like you were making a scene or anything that would call too much attention. You were simply letting the alcohol take over your body. Whether that meant a hand on his thigh as you listened to the conversations around you, your fingers playing with the short hairs at the back of his neck or dancing a little too scandalously when you knew he was watching. You felt confident. And when you felt confident, you felt dangerous.
By the end of the night, you were teasing yourself just as much as you were him. You were pushing your luck, hands trailing a little too close to the bulge in his slacks, enjoying the way his facial features changed briefly in shock before settling back into that infuriating unmovable stoic impression. The last straw was you bending in front of him, having ‘dropped’ something from your purse. You only had to bend so much before the dress, as short as it was, had ridden up just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your panties.
In an instant, he had you standing upright, thanking whoever he had been talking to for a wonderful night, tugging your dress back down to a respectable length and steering you towards the door by the back of your neck.
“That was not best behaviour,” he growled into your ear.
You giggled, despite the tight grip on your neck, “I was just having fun.”
He had done nothing but stare at you, eyes hard with a warning that had you rethinking your actions. You had forgotten, for a moment, that this man was not just someone to give you all the pretty trinkets you wore. He was a mastermind, a criminal mastermind at that. A man most deemed dangerous enough to be locked away.
“You have been bad tonight, kleine Schlampe.” He said once he had gotten you back to his car, away from the prying eyes and ears of the party guests, “You will spend the trip back thinking of ways to make it up to me.”
The words sent heat through your core, and you did exactly as he said.
By the time he had gotten you up to your accommodations, you had thought of thousands of different scenarios that could earn you forgiveness for your recklessness. You were uncertain if his words earlier had implied sexual favours, or if a simple, genuine apology was all he was looking for. However, once he had turned to you, the room door closing behind him and his eyebrows raised expectantly, you fell to your knees in front of him like it was second nature.
He chuckles darkly at you as he peels his gloves off, tossing them gently onto a side table nearby before letting one hand brush away the hair that had fallen in your face.
“Seems you are meine kleine schlampe indeed,” You had no idea what it meant, but fuck it sounded good coming from him. His eyes were hard and dark as he stared down at you, “If this is the path you’ve chosen to apologize, so be it. But not here, you are meine schlampe not a common whore. Get up. Go to the bedroom.”
You did as he said, quickly pulling yourself up to a standing position and walking to the designated room. The bed, so far, had only been used by you. He hadn’t wanted to push or pressure you into sharing a space with him. He understood that just because you decided to join him, didn’t mean you wanted to be with him. But tonight, you had decided, you wanted to give him your everything. You wanted to show him how grateful you were for all the gifts he’d given you so far. And if you couldn’t give him luxuries, you would give him your desire.
“So,” he began, nodding in approval at the way you resume your position on the floor in front of him, “Let’s begin with the basics.” As he talked, he rolled up his sleeves, doing so with precision, “Tell me, what exactly are you apologizing for?”
He commands every drop of your attention. There’s an aura to him that you had only previously caught a glimpse of. His eyes dark and locked onto yours, never once wavering. Waiting. Calculating.
“For teasing you.”
You take a breath, shame flooding your core at the answer that sits on your tongue.
“For embarrassing you.”
There’s a pause. He cocks his head, gaze softening just a tad. He's quiet for several moments, analyzing your words. Your heart starts to beat a little faster at the extended silence, thinking you’ve done something wrong and you can’t keep up the eye contact. You duck your head, averting your gaze to his feet.
“Look at me, schatzi.” His voice is soft, but still with enough edge to make you listen.
Only once your eyes meet his again does he continue.
“That’s very sweet of you, to be concerned about my image. But make no mistake,” He steps closer to you, letting one hand cup your jaw, tilting it upwards. His thumb brushes against your bottom lip, “You could never embarrass me,”
You dip your head, nipping softly at his thumb. He smiles softly at you, something glimmering in his eye, “I simply just don’t like to share what’s mine.”
Your breath leaves your body at his words and suddenly the need for him to claim you had you nearly vibrating in your skin. You watch, every muscle in your body clenched tightly, as he walks slowly over to the armchair in the corner, never once taking his eyes off you. He sits, legs parted, one arm draped off the side, the other rested so he could prop his head up.
Instantly, you make your way over to him. Once in front of him, you stand up on your knees, placing your hands on his knees and slowly sliding them up his thighs. They continue its upward motion, skimming lighting over the hardness in his pants and reaching to start on his belt. You make quick work of his belt and buttons, eagerly working his pants and briefs down. He chuckles above you.
“Mein Schatz, so eager to apologize.” He purrs, almost mockingly, hand coming down to brush the fallen hair away from your face.
Once you had him free, you took a second to admire him. Your legs clenched at the size of him. Not terribly big, but big enough to anticipate the stretch, the fullness. Your eyes flicked back up, looking up at his through your lashes, leaning in but stopping just before you could actually get your mouth on him. The hand that was previously fixing your hair was now clenched in it, messing it up again and forcing your head back suddenly to look at him properly.
“It would not be wise to tease me more than you have,” he warned.
A smirk spread across your features and you quickly realized how much you liked him like this.
However, you knew you were on thin ice already. With that in mind, as soon as his grip loosened you licked a wide stripe up his length, swirling your tongue around the tip before taking him fully into your mouth. The tension his body held melted the second your tongue touched him. His mouth dropping on a soft groan. His hand stroked your hair as you sucked, encouraging the bobs of your head, not forcing but guiding. You keep your eyes trained on his face, not wanting to miss a second of experiencing him like this.
He glows in the low lamplight of the room, the shadows playing across his features delicately. You like him like this too. Reduced to a heap of gasps and moans beneath the heat of your mouth. As you suck, your hands wander, up under the fabric of his shirt, nails dragging down his sides. He hisses at the pain, but doesn’t tell you to stop.
After a few minutes of your slow torture, he decides he’s had enough. His hand tightens in your hair, his movements becoming less gentle and more demanding.
“That’s a good girl, take it all for me.”
You do as he asks, taking a breath before taking him as deep as you can. He groans at the feeling, hips shifting a few times to test you before beginning to thrust in and out of your mouth. Your jaw aches, but his eyes are on you and his thumb is tracing your bottom lip that’s stretched wide around his cock and you think for a second that you could spend eternity like this.
It’s not much longer before he pulls you off his cock, hand wrapping around his base tightly, “Apologies, schatzi. I am out of practice, and I fear I'm not quite finished with you yet.”
You laugh softly, voice rough due to your previous activity, “That’s okay, I don’t mind.” You insist, more than happy to let him finish like this. Whatever he wants.
He stops you before you can dip down again, standing up and taking you with him. For the first time, his lips are on yours. He overwhelms all your senses. His breath loud in your ears, his hands on your waist, his scent. His tongue slides against yours as he walks you forward, shedding his lower clothing as he goes. He only parts to give you an order.
As you do, he finishes undressing and it kills you that can’t see him. Just as quickly as the thought crosses your mind, it’s gone as you feel his hands at the top of your dress. He slides the zipper down, letting the fabric fall off your shoulders. You take the liberty of helping the sleeves the rest of the way down, the fabric falling down around your heels once you’ve done so. He hums behind you.
“Such beauty,” he whispers against your shoulder. His hands begin to wander, around your waist, up underneath the fabric of your bra, down to your thighs and ass. He chuckles, dragging your panties down enough that they too fall, forgotten at your feet, “I can hardly stay mad at you, liebling.”
Your head falls back onto his shoulders as he works your bra off next. You shiver, feeling bare and exposed before him. You want him more than you can express and you let your whole body fall back into his embrace, whimpering at the feeling of him, hard against the swell of your ass.
“Helmut,” you moan, one of your hands finding purchase in his hair as the other rests on one of his forearms.
“Tell me you’re mine, Schatzi. And I’ll give you anything you want.”
“I’m yours,” you say without hesitation, breathless as his hand dips between your legs, finding your clit. He hums, pleased at the arousal he finds there, “I’m yours. Only yours.”
He growls pulling his hand away from, “Lay back on the bed. I’ll be right back.”
You do as he says, positioning yourself in the middle of the bed. While you wait, you let your mind wander, listening to his rummaging somewhere in another room while your mind runs through everything you want him to do to you. At some point, your eyes must close because when you feel the bed dip, they open to see him crawling between your legs.
He’s done messing around, wasting no time before his face is buried between your thighs, hands maneuvering your legs so that they’re thrown over his shoulders, your heels crossing sweetly behind his head, no doubt scratching at his shoulders. Your breath leaves your body at the feeling of his tongue, warm and wet and fan-fucking-tastic. He alternates between dipping it in and out of your heat and flicking it against your clit. Your hand finds his hair, gripping it between your fingers and guiding his movements ever so slightly. His eyes don’t leave yours, spare for the few times he closes them to moan against you.
One of his hands move, leaving its place at your hip to sink two fingers into you. Your head falls back on a moan, back arching up when he crooks his fingers and finds your g-spot.
“Fuck,” you gasp, one hand gripping the pillow behind your head as you feel your orgasm rush towards you, “Fuck- Wait, I-”
You can’t even feel embarrassed about how easily your body has reacted to him. Before you can warn him much more, you're falling over the edge. Your thighs tensing around his head, back arching in pleasure as you ride out your high. In this moment you belong completely to him, unable to think of anything else.
“So sweet for me, liebling.” He comments, hands rubbing up and down your calves as you come down, taking a moment to unfasten your heels, letting the shoes drop to the floor before leaning back in. His lips brush against your inner thigh.
Then a bite.
“Such pretty sounds you make for me.”
And then he’s sucking harshly at the skin there, watching the shudder that rips through your sensitive body at the sensation. He doesn’t pull away until the mark is dark and flush against your skin. He continues this on the other thigh, on your ribs, your breasts and finally your neck, marking you thoroughly.
“Mine.” He growls, hot against your ear, “Mein schatz, will you let me have you?” he asks, and it’s literally all you can think about so you don’t even bother hiding the truth, the confession tumbling from your lips breathlessly.
“I’d let you do anything to me.”
He groans, capturing your lips in a deep kiss as he does so. He pulls away to grab the condom that he had put next to him on the bed and leaning back on his haunches to roll it on. You’re so impatient, nails digging into his thighs and arms, whining as you watch his hands work.
“So needy,” He comments, swallowing your moan as he finally, finally, sinks into you.
The stretch as he enters you has your head rolling back on a moan, your legs wrapping around his waist the bring him the rest of the way in. He buries his head in the crook of your neck, growling against the skin there.
“Fuck,” he groans through gritted teeth, his resolve quickly slipping at the feeling of you around his cock. And to his credit, he really tries to wait, to be good. But not seconds later he’s adjusting his grip on your hips and he’s thrusting into you with a force that makes the whole bed shake.
It’s barely been 30 seconds, but the build-up that had occurred throughout the entirety of the night had you right back on the edge, your nails clawing at his shoulders, his back, his thighs. Any purchase you could get on him, you were begging for more. You’d take anything he gave you without so much as batting an eyelash. His grip on your hips is tight and bruising, but the pain twists into a delicious pleasure that only spurs you on.
You must be speaking, babbling something back to him about how good it feels, how much you love being fucked by him because he’s laughing through a moan against your neck. He pauses for just a second, straightening up and throwing one of your legs over his shoulder before continuing to fuck you.
“That’s it Kätzchen.” He purrs, eyes moving down your body to where he enters your body, “Taking my cock so well.”
You mewl at the praise, your body arching in response to his words. Your second orgasm takes you both by surprise, having hit you like a fucking freight train when he thrusts particularly deep, hitting one of your sweet spots. You scramble for purchase on him, mouth dropped open in a near-pornographic moan that you’ll surely be embarrassed about later. But for now, all you know is pleasure.
His hips falter, stuttering as your walls tighten around him. His head falls back on a low moan, fucking you hard and slow through your release.
“Such a sweet cunt,” he gasps, “Mein Gott..”
And then he’s tangling your hands together, holding it high above your head as he pushes your thighs back, flush against your chest. He’s the one babbling now, words from God only knows what language, whispered against your skin as he chases his own release. He gives one last hard thrust and he’s done, his teeth dragging against the skin on your shoulder, moaning against you as he rides out his orgasm.
As you both come down, you stroke the back of his neck, playing with the hairs there, trying to catch your breath. After a few moments, he pulls away just enough to kiss you. There’s a lingering heat and it’s a little messy due to your shared exhaustion but it’s good.
Once you’ve both caught your breath, he removes himself from your body, taking the necessary time to deal with the condom. You watch him lazily, unable to do much other than that. You’re so tired. But there’s that ache between your legs that you love so much and you think briefly that you could go another round, if he wanted to.
He must see something in your eyes when he returns because he laughs softly, “I feel I may have my hands full with you, schatzi.” he says as he crawls back into the bed with you, covering the both of you with a blanket, the cold now biting at your skin. You know you have to get up soon enough to sort yourself out before bed, but for a moment you stay with him.
His fingers brush over your face softly, following the slope of your nose and the angle of your cheeks. There’s no real purpose to his movements, just... touching. As if convincing himself that you’re real.
“You are special, schatzi.” he says softly, “I don’t know what your plans are, but I can only hope that you choose to continue to bless me with your presence.”
This man is such an enigma to you. He carries such confidence in every aspect of his life and yet he still doubts your loyalties. There’s anxiety and pain hidden within him, you can see it in his eyes as he continues to look at you. You wonder, how much of his past weighs on his shoulders. How long before he deems himself worthy of your affection? You lean in to kiss him softly, your lips dragging slowly against him. When you pull away you keep him close, brushing your noses together.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
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since you’re named after one of them i thought maybe u would know: do you know of a post or other place i could get like, summaries of the various spn writers? Like that tell me the general vibes of their episodes? Or if you don’t know, maybe a follower does? Toatally cool if not, either way i love you and your fuxking galaxy brain okay bye
I don’t know if one exists but I’ll try to make you one right now that at least includes major players —
yockey: season 12-15. the man the myth the legend. real life confirmed gay. I could talk for hours about this dude. episodes generally full of gaycoding and also just fun concepts like a town where everyone is brainwashed to think they are in the 50s or a hunter funeral. not big on main plot because his little side quests are sexier. he did the reading! very strong callbacks to previous character beats from various seasons that makes you as a fan feel appreciated. “ouroboros” and “advanced thanatology” are personal favs but I really don’t think he has misses
edlund: 2-8. obsessed with this dude who also worked on firefly and angel (responsible for the episode where angel turns into a puppet) and created the tick as a teenager? mad creative. the original casgirl. meta and contemplative — he introduced a bunch of concepts into the show that are some of the most fertile stuff to piece apart (endverse! the ghostfacers! cas in biggerson’s in “the great escapist”! “the french mistake”!) he has two eps that he both wrote and directed and the stannies go crazy for it. “the man who would be king” EGOT
berens: 9-15. another gay person! the destiel understander. he got on the team and his first move was to lock misha in a supply closet and tell him they were gonna make the angel gay (presumably. this is just what I imagine happened). I also enjoy his dean writing! “red meat” “who we are” and “the trap” have some of my favorite moments. bad record with characters of color, particularly black women — responsible for killing off missouri and billie. there’s a big conversation to be had about “the raid” with a lot of moving parts as far as the show’s understanding of the morality of hunting, especially considering vamps are the most fraught monsters of the whole series as far as conversations around race and othering go. men of letters generally strike me as a very messy attempt at a critique of hunting as eugenics, but it’s supernatural so none of it really pans out in any sort of satisfying way, unless I guess you count dean ultimately getting killed by a vamp. bit tangential here I guess. gave us crowley doggy bondage :/
perez: 12-15. people say perez didn’t do the reading but I think he did about half the reading and then decided he was gonna pick and choose what he liked and didn’t like, as a true supernatural fan does. huge homage guy, wants you to pick out pop culture references in his work. BEST jack and best dadstiel moments. I’m a big “don’t go in the woods” enjoyer, and “american nightmare” is a late season samgirl classic, “gimme shelter” for the jack cas case! brought tentacles to supernatural :/
won: 11. she’s got three episodes and yet she left an indelible mark on my soul. THEE chitters for all your contemplative gay/bi dean needs around reconciling the trauma of your childhood with the potential for a happy ending where you can finally be yourself and at peace. “thin lizzie” not the strongest but it DOES have a very small finn wolfhard and “don’t you forget about me” has jody as alex and claire’s mom!! outstanding work miss won
gamble: 1-7. what is there to say about miss sera gamble. she’s a homophobe! she’s not like other girls because she’s hot AND a nerd! she’s got some really classic bangers (“dead in the water,” “faith,” “houses of the holy”) and is responsible for angles being dicks. also responsible for two gordon episodes, supernatural’s most disquieting statements on blackness and monstrosity. I don’t think showrunning after kripke was ever going to be an easy job, but she managed to cut her own work out for herself. bronly through and through. greatest influence split between godstiel and “it’s a terrible life”
thompson: 7-11. I fuck with this dude! he’s clearly like, a fan of things and did the reading. ultimate ally for goodbye thee stranger. I like to think he takes up edlund’s meta legacy — stepping on the scene with “slash fiction” is a bold choice, he’s a story deconstructor! “meta fiction”! “fan fiction”! “baby”! he’s in tune with what the fans are saying and trying to find a way to comment on it in the story without just dragging them through the mud. charlie is not my favorite lesbian rep but I like that this man decided gay people on supernatural could have like. lives (until buckleming offed her).
buckleming: “route 666″ plus 7-15. half of this writing pairing has a role on the staff because she’s married to robert singer. nepotism looking at this episode list kind of makes me want to break out in hives. it’s just clunky! the best moment here like dean‘a confessional in “paint it black” seem to happen completely on accident. responsible for both the racist truck and putting a black woman in a dog collar. killed kevin. killed charlie.
kripke: I guess he should be on the list. 1-5 with one episode in season 6. I mean it’s his show! and he’s. Like That (a man from ohio who went to usc). bangers for sure, it’s just the totality of him. I would pull out “devil’s trap” and laz rising as favorite credits
dabb: if I had to say nice things about dabb I would say that “lost and found” is one of the strongest season openers, “moriah” is a fantastic finale, “red meat” (collab with berens) is a perfect exploration of sam and dean’s toxic codependency, and “the prisoner” as a whole isn’t much to write home about but the FIGHT. I wouldn’t say this man is any more or less messy than eric kripke and they certainly agree on the finale.
carver: 3-5 8-11. like gamble a stronger writer than showrunner. “the rapture” and “free to be you and me” obvioulsy deserve recognition but he doesn’t compell me or really have anything significant to say on his own
there are other writers but without just combing through the wiki those are everyone who personally comes to mind and I know I’m missing some people here I don’t care for (charmelo and snyder lookin at you! glass too), but, I mean, you’ve seen the show. not always something to write home about. obviously this is highly biased (I feel like you can trace my enthusiasm at various points), but it’s my blog
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it’s suspicion (911 4x13) and no one is talking about captain mehta of the 133.
we’ve met him before in buck begins (911 4x05) so it’s not surprising to see the banter between mehta and buck as they race into munchausen mom’s apt bldg. you get promoted to captain when I wasn’t looking?
and I know we are all focused on the drama at the end of the ep. eddie shot. buck in shock. the drawn out moments between them before all the chaos comes rushing back in.
but the thing is—there isn’t actually any moment. outside of eddie and buck’s bubble is harsh reality. a shot and all hell breaks loose. the panic and chaos is immediate. everyone is screaming and running for cover.
everyone but capt mehta. one moment he’s standing next to the ambulance with the kid on it. holding the doors open and asking eddie if he’d like to ride along. the next he’s all action.
because as soon as that shot rings out? he slams the ambulance doors shut. gets his two paramedics and their charge safely inside. then CHOOSES to stay outside when he could’ve easily jumped in with them.
and it’s all happening at once. moments that feel like forever between eddie and buck are really only seconds. the ambulance door is closed, his people safe, and mehta turns to buck. stock still and completely in shock. covered in his best friend’s blood. the bullet just missing him as it passed thru eddie.
there’s no hesitation. mehta tackles buck to the ground. hides them behind the 133’s firetruck. out of the sniper’s line-of-sight. keeps his hand on buck’s head. keeps him down and keeps him safe.
because he knows buck. he was there during the hand sanitizer fire. was the incident commander. ordered the teams out of the building when it became too unstable. and buck stayed. risked his life for the missing 7th person. ignored a direct order to evacuate. he does that sometimes.
so yeah, mehta knows buck. knows he’ll dive headfirst into the fire to save a stranger. can extrapolate that once the shock wears off, buck will risk even more for a team member. for a friend. for eddie.
because that’s who buck is.
but in this moment. in these few seconds. we see who mehta is. he’s the capt. the de facto incident commander. which means that right now every single person at the scene are his. paramedic, firefighter, patient. 133, 118, civilian. it doesn’t matter. because he’s going to keep them safe. from the sniper. from themselves.
because while eddie and buck are trapped in their bubble of shock, mehta has seen it all. he’s looking. accessing. reacts accordingly. gets buck to the ground and immediately radios for help. shots fired. a firefighter is down.
capt mehta is the hero of the hour. the moment. of the million moments still to come.
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Black Excellence 365 Spotlight: Jay Reeves
New Jersey's Jay Reeves is a multi-talented actor, producer, and musician currently starring in Safety on Disney+. Growing up, Jay ranked #9 out of 100 in the Western Region of Underclassmen and went on to play at Pasadena City College before leaving to pursue a career in acting. After experiencing homelessness, Jay went home to regroup, eventually studying acting in New York, and debuting as Shawn Scott on The CW's All-American. Jay took the time to chat with us about the making of Safety, his music, and Black Excellence. Check it out:
Which scene from Safety had the most impact on you as you were filming it, and which do you hope viewers pay the most attention to?
The most impactful scene for me was the scene about the custody of my little brother. I mean, I grew up with a single mother most of my childhood, and placing myself in that circumstance, as Ray, was hard for me. A young man who has to rise to the occasion and take custody of his little brother is a difficult situation on its own. But when you add the stakes of having such a life-altering conversation with your mother, now that is difficult. It took me to a level of vulnerability that I haven’t been able to showcase thus far.
You’ve said that “as content creators [we] have the obligation to hold a mirror up to the world.” What do you hope to reflect?
I hope to reflect honesty at all times. That’s whether I’m playing a fictional character or someone who lives on this earth, because people gravitate towards that, people love to feel. Most importantly, there’s always someone who can relate to the truth, and that’s whether it’s my truth or the truth I live through on the big screen. There’s always someone who can relate to the story at hand, so I just hope to reflect enough honesty so the audience can organically connect.
How does your experience playing football impact your approach to acting roles?
My past experience in athletics helps me keep a level of discipline when it comes to acting. Just like any professional level player, in the NFL or elsewhere, we have to work every day and treat our bodies well. That looks like eating clean, being prepared, and knowing when to rest, and that all starts with self-discipline. You have to wake up every morning and want these things for yourself before the world can see it for you. I wake up at 5 AM every day just like I’m in high school or college again playing ball. I truly believe that’s the level of intensity you should bring as an entertainer, athlete, or whatever your dream is to be.
What music are you working on right now, and can you give us a sneak peek or hint about what you have coming up?
I’m working on an EP between acting gigs, so it’s early on in the process—a hint would be too much of a giveaway. But I am working with the same folks I have in the past, Ashton McCreight and Spencer Nezey. It’s early in the developmental process, but I trust these guys, and I can’t wait to see what we can collaborate on and put together. However, I did drop two EPs on SoundCloud this week, so be sure to tune in!
If your life was a choose-your-own-adventure, what decisions would viewers have to make on an average day?
Luckily, I do have a career where I can choose my adventure daily. Being an actor, I find myself studying and always learning about so many different careers and life decisions. What’s also cool about being a filmmaker is you get to play around with different periods, so I’m not confined to a box or any kind of structure. We get to imagine and break any form of limitation.
When you hear the phrase “Black Excellence,” what or who comes to mind?
When I hear Black excellence, I can’t help but think of Issa Rae and her infamous speech of saying, “I’m rooting for everyone Black,” because that is how I feel. Black excellence goes so deep, and there’s enough success on this earth for us all to be excellent. As a Black man, I hope to one day no longer be confined to just having the label of Black Excellence, but reaching higher and achieving overall human excellence as a Black man. My mother’s side of my family came from Monrovia, Liberia. I am my ancestors’ wildest dream!
How did you find your voice?
I found my voice falling flat on my face. I moved to Los Angeles, but things didn’t work out on my first go-around. I didn’t have money, and I lost my support by making dumb decisions, so I went back home and scraped up every single dollar and sent off the most prayers I think I’ve ever had in my life. Doing so allowed me to dig deep within myself and realize my true potential—but without that moment of failure, I wouldn’t have had my back against the wall to do so. If you’re dealing with fear, I encourage you to face it with faith because that is how I found my voice, and I’m pretty sure it’s how you’ll find yours.
You have the opportunity to ask an all-knowing genie one question. What do you ask?
If I had the opportunity to ask a genie a question, I would ask him what stock is going to short through the roof because then I would just dump all of my investments and savings into that and ride the wave. But that might be illegal for the genie to tell me that. As young people, I believe we need to no longer be consumers of a product but be producers and makers of products.
What advice would you give to young Black talent looking to get their first break in the entertainment industry?
Shoot your shot, reach out to these CEOs and ask them for advice. Don’t be afraid to ask questions…look for information, look for a mentor and work hard. Nothing worth it is easy. And you wouldn’t want it to be easy anyway. The person we become as we follow our dreams and hit the ground or backs against the wall is the true blessing. The success is the cherry on top.
How do you practice self-care?
I take good care of myself, and it’s as simple as that. I eat clean, I work out, and most importantly, I feed my spirit daily. Even if I’m not feeling in the mood, I’ll pray, and I take time to give thanks. I do whatever it takes for me to feel 100% because health is wealth.
Thanks for taking the time, Jay! Safety is now streaming on Disney+.
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time to scream
GEORGIE APOLOGIZED TO JON FOR ACTING UNFAIRLY...........
and i love how quickly they are all onboard with how this isn’t really Jon’s Doing per se--the blame falls on exactly whom it should
this entire ep has extremely potent “adults just trying their best” vibes and i’m here for it
i love martin+melanie friendship this is my life now this is my entire life now good bye everyone im going under the ground to vegetate
seriously they’re SO GOOD.... martin asking “do we really know each other though?” bc of what peter said to him in the panopticon... the lonely still has influence on him but he’s still choosing to fight it off, actively make friends, and so is melanie
i love them all so much
the admiral being Like That makes me really sad but at least he is happy ;___;
i also really appreciate the “cult members” each having a different spin on the situation, some are more levelheaded and realistic while others are more starry-eyed as a result of their desperation, and this range of nuances is very good
i also liked that melanie and georgie walked the fine line of trying to be friendly/bonding with their members and trying to be the leaders that they’re not sure they can be
i’m just extremely glad the cult isn’t a faceless mass of believers like i’d feared (and a lot smaller than i expected)
rusty quill said hopepunk rights
though once again they oppress me personally by not letting jon talk about martin to his friends (let!!! jon!!!! talk!!!!! to!!! georgie!!!! about!!!!! martin!!!!!!!!!!!)
MARTIN FINALLY GOT TO SIT IN A COMFY CHAIR. BEST ARC IN THE SERIES GOODBYE
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hello! could you write a bucky x reader where john walker flirts with the reader and bucky gets upset? maybe that scene in ep 2 where everyone's sitting in the car? thanks :)
This is a fantastic request! Also, reader has female pronouns in this.
Team Up - Bucky Barnes x Reader
James Buchanan Barnes.
The Winter Soldier. A fossil. A killer.
And quite possibly, the love of your life.
At least, if he’d let you.
You and Bucky felt the same way for each other - that much had always been clear. You’d met on one of his missions, and been lucky enough to survive. Years later, you met him again - this time, as Bucky Barnes, desperately trying to claw his way back into society. You were his neighbor, back when he’d run from his troubles.
Everything had been fine, until the day Steve Rogers recruited you to help bring him in (and protect him from the Wakandans), and after that day, your life had been one with his.
And you’d begun to understand why Bucky had always kept you at arm’s length.
After the war, he’d cut all contact with you entirely. Hell, you barely spoke to Sam anymore - or, for that matter, anyone from Team Cap. Wanda was AWOL. Ant-Man was taking a break.
Which is why it surprised you so completely when you received a message from an unknown caller.
The caller, as it happened, had been one John Walker - someone who wasn’t quite as shy about asking for your help. He had his wingman. Now he needed, as he put it, his very own ‘Miss Carter.’
You didn’t bother to tell him her name was actually Agent. You sensed it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.
Besides, why not? The Avengers were disbanded. Steve was gone. Bucky had abandoned you.
You didn’t owe them anything. And if this John guy wanted to make the world a better place?
Well. You weren’t about to stand in the way of it.
“What’s the plan?” you asked, securing a gun in your holster.
“We’re going after the terrorists,” said Hoskins, Walker’s second-in-command. “We’ll go in first. You need to disable the truck.”
You nodded. Walker stopped in front of you, securing the shield on his back.
“Kiss for good luck?” he asked, jokingly, and you stared at him.
He rolled his eyes, jumping out of the helicopter and onto the truck. You followed, taking out the driver. Eventually, though, the truck became engulfed in flames, and you had to jump out, coughing. Walker helped you into a car.
“Yeah, Falcon and Bucky. They’re... helping.”
Well, speak of the devil.
You, Walker and Hoskins pulled up alongside Bucky and Sam, walking down the road. Walker honked the horn.
“So,” he said. “That didn’t go as planned, huh? All right, we gotta work together.”
“That’s not happening,” said Bucky, and you bit your lip to keep from smiling. Hoskins noticed.
“I think we stand a much better chance if we all just-”
“Just ‘cause you carry that shield,” said Sam, “It doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.”
“Look, I’ve done the work, okay?”
“You ever jump on top of a grenade?” Bucky snapped. You realized, with a twinge, that he hadn’t noticed you yet.
“Yeah, actually, I have. Four times.”
Walker looked to you, as if for approval, and you shrugged.
“Look, it’s twenty miles to the airport. Get in.”
Reluctantly, Sam and Bucky climbed in.
...And for the first time in months, you and Bucky’s eyes met.
“Hey,” he exhaled, looking throughly beaten. “What’re you-”
You gestured to Walker.
“I’m traveling with them now. He needed my help.”
“Well,” said Walker, broadly, “Couldn’t do anything without my best girl, could I?”
He put his arm around your shoulders, and you let him. Slowly, you realized this actually could be...
Bucky deserved it, didn’t he? He was the one who’d left you.
“No,” you answered, gazing up into Walker’s eyes. “No, I guess you couldn’t.”
“So, are you two...” Bucky gestured at him. “Fondue-ing?”
"Oh, you know. Most of it’s for the cameras, but...” you shrugged. “John’s pretty good. Almost as good as the original.”
“You take that back,” said Bucky, quietly, and at that moment, Sam Wilson decided to get involved.
“So. Out of all the women in the world, you choose her to be your... your fake girlfriend? Why?”
“Well, she's...” John trailed off. “Perfect.”
“Perfect, huh? Do better.”
“She’s perfect, she’s... she’s beautiful.”
“Anything else?” asked Sam, skeptically.
“What else is there?”
Oh, now he'd done it.
“What else is there?” shouted Bucky, and you could practically see steam coming from his ears. Carefully, you removed Walker’s arm from around your shoulders. “What else is there?”
"Easy, Buck,” you said, quietly, standing in front of Bucky and placing your hand on his chest. “Hey, I’m here, okay-”
“Yeah, well, we’re leaving,” said Sam, glaring at you. “Good luck with Walker, Y/N. Hope that works out for you.”
“You know this guy’s a jerk,” said Bucky, looking at you, pleadingly. “So... come on. Come with us.”
“So now that someone else needs me, you choose me? No, Bucky,” you said, shaking your head. “This is where I belong.”
Requests open for Bucky Barnes, Loki Laufeyson, Peter Maximoff & Ben Solo!
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Henry at 9 vs Henry at 19
I was tweeting about this and I figured a post would be a better idea, since more people who actually give a shit about Ted Lasso are on here - basically I’m more and more thinking that “Ted Lasso” did a real disservice to Ted’s characterization by making his son so young.
Because we’re meant to sympathize with Ted being away from his son, stranded to a certain extent in England while his family is in Kansas. And I do, a LOT; the scenes where we see Ted struggling to keep a connection with Henry are heartbreaking, and I 100% teared up during the Christmas ep where Ted’s isolation was made so plain. It is a legitimately sad thing!
But I’m always distracted from this plotline by the fact that... well, by every conceivable standard, Ted’s a shitty absentee father for no real reason, other than “the show would end if Ted went home.” But IRL? I don’t care how many fucking cookies Ted bakes, I would hate him on sight for choosing a (very well-paying, to be sure) job over being present in his son’s life for years at a time.
I know there are tons of parents who have to leave their children behind for better prospects, for money and a home that will give those kids their best chance. But Ted had a very nice job in Wichita, one that would likely take him back even with him quitting the year previous because holy shit he got them to the championships his first year. He has no real reason other than money to stay at Richmond after that first half-season; and from what’s implied in the second season, he doesn’t go home at all once Richmond starts up again, nor does Henry and Michelle come to visit him. That sucks! Ten months of just... not being around for your kid sucks!
Plus, I do find it kind of weird that Ted and Michelle have their first child in their mid-to-late 30s, when it’s implied that they’ve been together since college (or possibly grad school). I was raised in the Midwest — in the outskirts of a mid-sized city, with most of my friends being from the towns surrounding — and not a one of them started having kids later than mid-20s. For a couple who’ve been together that long, fifteen years into the marriage is a bizarre time to decide to try for kids.
Which is why I really wish that they’d gone the more realistic route and had Henry be in his late teens or even early 20s — the same age as a lot of Ted’s students back in Wichita and a good chunk of his players in Richmond. Because then you would’ve been able to give Ted those same worries about being a good father, being absent from his son’s life, but in the context that makes Ted’s move to the UK actually defensible — Henry would be in college, or starting his first adult job (or both!) and generally expected to have less parental involvement in his day-to-day.
Plus, it frankly would be way more interesting. Henry’s character now is just a blank slate; we know he likes Legos and that’s kind of... it. He doesn’t seem to be reacting at all to the divorce or to Ted’s absence; but a 20-year-old son whose parents have split after God knows how long watching them drift apart? That would be a REALLY interesting character, even if we only saw him as often as we see the 9-year-old Henry. He’d have opinions about how Ted is handling his new job, about his baking, about how cool Rebecca is, about how his dad should never try to drive in England, etc. It would be a relationship instead of a prop.
Anyway now I want to write an AU where everything’s the same except 19-year-old Henry is doing his study abroad year in London and trying to get his dad a date because Mom’s already engaged to a very nice lady from Lawrence and Dad really needs to stop losing the divorce this embarrassingly.
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SHL Ep 6 - HOW DID THIS PASS CENSORSHIP?!
Can we talk about these lines please?!
So this is just after the poison scene, they argue about ZZS’s internal injuries and as ZZS walks away, WKX yells after him. “你若不在了， 千山暮雪，我孤翼只影向谁去啊?”
Loosely translated, it’s something like: "If you die, over a thousand mountains under sunset snow, towards whom would the shadow of a lonely bird go?"
I SCREAMED because it’s a REFERENCE and how in the WORLD did this get through censorship?!!
Where do I begin?
First of all, this is a genre appropriate reference. SHL is wuxia. One of the most well known wuxia authors is Jin Yong. When one talks about romance in Jin Yong, Return of the Condor Heroes (神雕侠侣) is likely the most well known. 神雕侠侣, by character, can be translated as 神- mystical, 雕- condor, 侠-hero, 侣-partner/mate/companion. This line, IMO, is first an foremost a nod to 神雕侠侣.
But what is it quoting?
In 神雕侠侣, one of the main villains is a woman scorned. The following poem sounds in your ears either before you see her or as she disappears:
I ask the world, what is love?
To be devoted unto death.
A pair of flying wanderers traveling the world, 
How many winters and summers have these old wings endured?
Between happy gatherings and bitter partings,
Infatuated youths are found within.
You should say: across ten thousand miles of cloud layers 
And a thousand sunset snow covered peaks, towards whom would a lonely shadow go?
Let’s look at the last line, which I’ve bolded, and compare it to what WKX says:
Literally WKX is quoting a poem that opens with “I ask the world, what is love, to be devoted unto death”!!! And in case you don’t know he’s referring to a poem about lovebirds, he adds 我孤翼 (this lonely wing/bird) before the line . The show is not subtle!
Do you see why I screamed?!
But wait! There’s more!
This poem was not written by Jin Yong! It’s actually slightly altered from the first half of a poem written in the late Jin/ early Yuan Dynasties (After Song, before the Mongols fully took over) by Yuan Haowen (元好问). The poem is generally known as Song to the Wild Geese Mound, to the tune of MoYuEr (摸鱼儿·雁丘词). Yuan Haowen, upon hearing the story of the wild geese, was moved to compose the poem.
The story of the wild geese mound is as follows: one day a hunter saw a pair of wild geese flying by. He shot down one goose in the pair. The other goose circled for a while, ascertained its partner had passed, and flew head first into the ground to its death. Moved by the devotion of the two wild geese, the people erected a mound to commemorate their devotion.
And WKX’s statement of “If you were to die” or “If you no longer exist” echoes perfectly the words Yuan Haowen had put into the goose’s mouth: If my partner is gone, where would I go?
Not only does SHL quote a poem about devotion unto death, the line that is given to WKX is the one that very clearly says “I would rather die than live without you.” And THIS IS IN EPISODE SIX, BEFORE WXK SEES ZZS’S FACE!!!
NO WONDER ZZS whips his head around! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?!?!
I AM NOT OK!!! HOW IS HE THIS DEVOTED ALREADY? HOW DID CENSORSHIP LET THIS PASS?! THIS IS NOT SUBTLE!!
 Flying wanderers are geese, sometimes symbolizing monogamy and faithfulness
 You can also interpret this line as talking about how the geese are more loyal than the infatuated human youths…
 The you here refers to the goose and is talking to the one that chooses to end its life. So the goose is essentially talking to its partner.
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'Maybe you and I are both damned, but we can choose to do something and leave it better than it was before.'
This moment in ep 97 lives rent free in my mind forever, and I've been wanting to draw it ever since I first watched it live. I have so many feelings about these two, and their relationship over the course of the campaign (and beyond) means so much to me.
While not yet fulfilled or entirely convinced of his own worth, at this point in the story, Caleb knows he’s on the right path. That alone is progress enough, but that he uses his own experiences to help another escape those same chains of guilt says such a lot for his development. When he tells Essek that his ‘venom’ was learned, he’s also talking about himself and his own history of being manipulated and gaslit, with the implication being that it can be un-learned just as efficiently. Essek describes himself as selfish and as a coward, forever putting his own wants and desires first, yet over the course of his journey with the Nein we see his priorities change drastically. Having friends gives him people to care about, something he’s never had before, and it changes his outlook on life completely.
I think it says so much about the other characters too, that they befriended this person they barely knew, and when he was revealed to have done such terrible things, their first reaction was to give him comfort and an opportunity to atone. Jester held his hand while he confessed, and afterwards, while they didn’t immediately forgive him, they saw the good in him and wanted him to be better, which ultimately feels like what the entire campaign was about, leaving places (and people) better than they found them.
They began their adventure wholeheartedly believing that they were both, in their own way incapable of love. But, in the end, no matter how damaged and guilt-stricken they were, they found in each other a kindred spirit, a path to redemption, and ultimately, love. Whether their relationship lasted for a couple of years or multiple decades is irrelevant, what matters is that while it did they had a happy and fulfilled life together.
(tl;dr I just bloody love these two wizards you guys. T.T)
Anyway, I finally decided to paint this scene earlier in the week, using my newfound favourite website Magic Poser Web to set up their poses for reference, then drew everything in Clip Studio Paint. I'm not 100% happy with some of it, ad the background isn't as I imagined it to be when I watched the stream, but it's close enough that I'm satisfied!
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I hate the direction squid game went I really do like I stand by the premise and first few eps as insightful critique on capitalism and how poorer people aren’t bad per se, but inequality and desperation forces people to make bad decisions. Having the game members choose whether it would continue highlights how decision making for the wider community (everyone leaves unscathed) is often undermined by greed (the possibility that they could win the money and erase their debts). Having them be released BACK into society where we see them continue to struggle financially with no hope of improving their situations, asks us, is the conditions in which people play the game of capitalism, a fair and balanced one that reflects individual skill? Men who are deep in debts not because they are bad or lazy people but the circumstances that are not ideal. A man struggles to see his daughter, his mother can’t afford medical bills that could save her life. A brown immigrant being exploited by physical labour and treated as lesser simply because he wishes to give his wife and newborn baby a better life. (I think this aspect of anti-black/brown racism is not often explored in South East Asian media) An old man with a brain tumour. Not all characters are as redeeming or with tragic circumstances, a man who has led a double life from the one he tells his aging grandma because he just wants to make her proud. For most of these people, their greed isn’t entirely personal. They wish to improve the life of the people around them. Does selfish individualism thrive under capitalism? Or does capitalism require it?
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Buddie 410 meta
I found it interesting that in an ep titled ‘Parenthood,’ we get a brief and, once more, minimally invested in scene of Eddie and Ana, but all they do is watch a movie together. They’re joined by Chris, but no real parenting is involved, nor do we see anything that demonstrates their connection as partners, nothing shows them really knowing each other.
In contrast, even without Buck being there with Chris, Buck and Eddie demonstrate all of that throughout the ep.
We get some awesome Buddie banter of the kind that a married couple would have, showing us they know each other through and through. We see it with Eddie teasing Buck about what he looks like when he’s gassy (and let it also sink in that when the conversation is about someone adorable, Eddie naturally turns it to Buck), then we also have it when Buck says a quarter life crisis is a real thing and Eddie fondly and knowingly shakes his head at his partner.
Then there’s two bits played for comedy, that actually show us how Buck and Eddie’s familiarity with each other plays into them co-parenting Chris.
When the question arises, “can’t you both be the good cops?” it’s Buck and Eddie who both reply with a resolute “no!” Now just consider that, just like with the 409 baby naming chat, Buck isn’t actually a parent, but there are proper parents present (Bobby and Hen) who should be the ones replying to Chim in addition to Eddie. And yet it’s Buck and Eddie who respond. The implication here is that Buck can answer this because he IS a parent, he does know what parenting together is like and why a two good cops routine wouldn’t work. And it’s not from his own parents, we’ve seen them, there were zero good cops there, there was just the minimum amount of physically providing for a child passing for parenting. So how does Buck know? Because he’s co-parenting Chris with Eddie. We’ve seen them playing out that dynamic of good/bad cop in ep 403 and, in a slightly different way than normal, in ep 310.
And then, we also have Hen, who remarks that some kids need discipline. Buck, the non-parent of the team, immediately weighs in and offers, “not too much!” (again, how would he have formed an opinion on this if not from co-parenting Chris? We saw his parents barely disciplining him for his reckless behavior in ep 405) and Eddie immediately retorts with, “Curious to know what your definition of too much is.” He’s teasing his boyfriend, because clearly Buck (as we’ve seen in 403, too) is the less strict parent.
* * *
Another thing, connecting back to the 409 meta, this is the third ep where Chris isn’t a part of the ep, Eddie isn’t a focus of it either, but then the montage at the end of the ep contains a domestic scene with Eddie and Chris. This time it has Ana too, exactly when the narration states, “It becomes about your kids, all of the time.” This isn’t 911’s usual storytelling style, to have a scene at the end disconnected from everything else in the ep, and it’s happening continuously with Eddie and Chris this season (402,409 and now in 410), which only furthers my hunch that this is a part of the build up to whatever is going to go down with them and Ana.
* * *
Lastly, I want to say that one of my fave things on 911 has been Karen and Hen’s storyline of pursuing parenthood. Far too often, TV and movies show gay people / same sex couples becoming parents through sex with someone of the opposite gender, sometimes as a drunken one night stand, sometimes involving cheating. It’s done for the drama, which is normal for entertainment. But the issue is that it’s almost exclusively how they represent queer people becoming parents. I think it’s so important to show same sex couples choosing to become parents, how they go about it, and without any cheap drama. Just the very real struggle to get to care for another, tiny human when the most immediate option to get that is… not an option. I love 911 for showing us alternative ways of becoming parents and a family. And if one day Buddie go canon, them being fully co-parents, whether to Chris alone or choosing to give him a sibling, will matter and be just as meaningful as the Henren parenting storyline is.
Thank you so much to my beloved @bicepsie for the meta gifs! If you like my takes on Buddie, you can find more of my meta and fics here. Thank you for reading and for any like, comment and of course reblog! It helps motivate me to keep making these posts. xoxox
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My husband is a film director and writer (he does it full time) I’m inundated with his ramblings about film and how/why things play out the way they do.
That being said, here’s some thoughts both of us have had about TBB, and how it could pan out from here on out:
NOTE: everything has PURPOSE. From the lighting, the music, the coloring, the expressions. Even the minutiae of something as simple as set design (and yes, cartoons have set design. Compare the background elements in TBB to the Clone Wars. The difference is HUGE) The expressions and everything these characters say and do MATTERS and isn’t just pointless filler. Either it’s gonna further the story or expand upon character development.
Now for our specific TBB thoughts:
Crosshair’s burn injury was 100% intended to further his character development and the story as a whole. They wouldn’t have done it unless it served a greater purpose. They also wouldn’t have shown it heavily concentrated on the right side of his head where his inhibitor chip is. The writers know we know that’s where the chips are located. They want us to believe there’s a chance it’s dysfunctional. That coupled with the extra few seconds focusing on Crosshair’s face during ep. 12, showing his inner battle, is 100% intentional. Also he didn’t immediately shoot Howzer when he had the chance. That is COMPLETELY out of character from the Imperial Crosshair we know.
Hunter’s inability to choose what he wants to do now that their world has been completely uprooted is well written. His conversations with Echo, Rex, Omega and Cham about their purpose and if they should fight and join the Rebellion is intended to give us an idea of Hunter’s inner turmoil. Should he be a soldier, and force his brothers (and new sister) to continue to fight? Or should they start life anew, be mercenaries and attempt to have some sort of domesticity with Omega?
These first two points tie in with the importance of expressions and lingering shots. Hunter and Crosshair clearly had a moment of connection towards the end of ep. 12 when they were flying away. Those emotions you think you read on their faces? Don’t discount them! They’re probably exactly what the writers intended for you to analyze. Crosshair is feeling abandoned and confused. Hunter is feeling confused and guilty. They want to be a family again.
Why would they show Hunter pausing and almost going after Howzer? Why would that matter? Because it’s meant to show his uncertainty and guilt over leaving his own brother behind. And THANK GOODNESS we don’t have a faultless main character. What a tired cliché. Hunter clearly has his faults and he’s trying to work through them! I HOPE he feels guilty about not helping Crosshair sooner (although I do agree with the general consensus that they haven’t really had a good opportunity to save him yet) We’re certain the last 4 episodes will focus on the more emotional aspects of Crosshair’s absence, and his potential return. Or sacrifice. Which would be devastating.
TBB started out as kinda self-interested people. Disobedient and cocky and unwilling to see things from another point of view. And it kinda makes sense, the show alludes to the fact that they were bullied by the regs and likely experimentally tortured by the Kaminoans. Egocentrism would be a natural result of such a crappy upbringing.
The Republic falls and they end up losing everything familiar to them. Hunter wants to worry about his own family. WHO THE HELL WOULDN’T? If there was a galactic scale war and Nazi-level occupation in every city, I couldn’t give two shits about anyone other than my own family and my children. Hunter’s in survival mode. Just like we’d all be. Think of any end of the world movie. Every man for himself.
Opportunities arise that give TBB a chance to help others. Selflessly. Slowly, they’re learning how to do it (Hunter refusing Cham’s payment) It’s not gonna happen overnight. They’ve gotta be strategic. Another important word choice that we’ve seen the last few episodes. Strategy will probably be what brings Crosshair back. And a whole lotta tears on our end.
Hunter and Omega’s conversations are obvious foreshadowing. We all know that. Something bad is gonna happen. I’m certain we’ll get a second season, so it may not happen at the end of Season 1. But I don’t think Hunter’s surviving past the series (guys. They won’t kill off Omega. She’s a little girl. It just won’t happen. There’s too much money in her character for Disney to exploit in future series). They’re saving the Hunter and Omega hug. It’s coming. And I’m certain it’s gonna be the most heartbreaking thing ever.
They wouldn’t have given Howzer a name and story and freaking action figure if he wasn’t gonna play a larger role. We’ll see him again folks. They’re alluding to the possibility of an uprising/war on Kamino, especially with all those clones throwing down their weapons after Howzer’s speech. Finally, a cause for the clones to fight that they care for. Their own freedom. We’ll probably see him and Rex there.
Hunter will certainly break his promise to Omega and the Kaminoan uprising will be why they’ll go back to Kamino. To be selfless and save their other brothers. There are really specific interactions they have with the regs, ones that are earning TBB’s respect and probably changing their mindset on the regs entirely.
This went on a lot longer than I intended. Oh well lol. Let me know what you think. We could be completely wrong on some of these, but if they follow the formulas of basic writing and film, then we could get some great storytelling and emotional resolutions by the end of the season/series!
Link to my post “Why I Think That Hunter Will Die” https://smolbean-17.tumblr.com/post/656912906122919936/why-i-think-that-hunter-will-die
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𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐄 ! (pt. 2) ― jeon wonwoo
⇢ ˗ˏˋ in which your group and SEVENTEEN merge together for a special GOING SEVENTEEN episode, though, one of your members starts to get a little too close to wonwoo than you liked for her to ...࿐ྂ
PAIRING: jeon wonwoo x fem!idol!reader
WARNINGS: idol au, angst, drama, crack, comedy and dirty jokes! use of korean honorifics, if you don't like that, pls don't read
CHOSEN GOING SEVENTEEN EPISODE: GOING SEVENTEEN 2021 EP. 18, DIVE INTO TTT PT. 1, WATER SPORTS VER.
🗓. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋHONEY HONEY BEE. HELLO, WE'RE HONEY BEE!"✶ ⋆｡˚𓆟
introducing honey bee!
minjung - main vocalist, producer (1/3 queen bee)
y/n - leader, main rapper, lead dancer, center, producer (2/3 queen bee)
haewon - lead dancer, lead vocalist
binna - lead rapper, visual
younghee - main dancer, lead vocalist, producer (3/3 queen bee)
isseul - lead vocalist, maknae
Upon the coming of the bus that was stated to be transporting you to the water sports place, you underwent a strangely lucid flutter in your abdomen area. It didn't go unnoticed by Minjung from the face you made as she slipped to your side teasingly. Her smirk was enough to say it.
"Oh, stop it."
"You haven't seen him in weeks! I have to tease you!" she convinced you. That, you had to admit. You haven't seen the rapper in weeks and it devised a hollow cut in your life, a more explicit one whenever he called over the phone and signified it burning in your chest. You weren't going to let this opportunity go to waste in seeing Wonwoo.
The doors of the bus opened and for you but even before you could go, Hyunsuk came out from one of the vehicles behind the bus. Your PD, Jiwoo went up to himand they talked for a second before she waved you girls over. You walked past the bus, acknowledging the familiar smiles on the windows. The corners of your lips turned up at the sight of the boys.
"We're going to let you guys go on this bus and we'll be on the vehicles right behind. Behave, okay? Your boss said you can have more variety shows as long as you behave yourselves on this one and for God's sake, control Binna,"
A fight was the last thing you wanted which is why you nodded at her.
She smiled, relieved. "Cameras are everywhere as soon as you go in,"
"Okay, bye, unnie."
You entered the bus, the roar of shouts catching you by surprise.
"Please, Chan." you laughed at Chan's joke as you walked down the gap between the seats as they shouted at the other members in their natural welcome. Your eyes were stuck at the back of the bus as soon as you caught his eye from the rest. There he was, waiting for you. He smiled at you and you did your best to keep it lowkey as you smiled back. After all, your fans didn't know about this relationship yet. Neither of you were comfortable releasing it to the public too.
"Well, are we moving or what?" Minjung asked, nudging your shoulder.
"Oh, please. You take so long." Binna abruptly interrupted. It took her seconds to expedite past you. She easily cleared the path to the back of the bus, accepting impressed sounds from the boys as they admired her confidence in choosing a seat. But what no one expected in that second is that she walked all the way to the back of the bus and turned to Wonwoo.
Maybe it was the main rapper and leader part of you finally exhibiting but your fist tightly clenched as she smiled at Wonwoo. He had no choice but to as the cameras recorded him.
"Can I sit here, sunbaenim?"
"Sure," he replied back softly, not even looking at you once. It angered you that she was dispensing her attitude here, how jealous could one person get that you were going to work with Moonbyul?
"Um, let's sit here." Haewon assisted in the awkwardness. You furrowed your eyebrows as she drew you to the nearest seat in front of Joshua and Jeonghan. She took the window seat as you took the other one. It surprised you because you recalled vividly naming her because she was becoming ruder to the older members these days as she was hanging around Binna. But when she pulled you away, you knew there was more to the story.
"Well, where do I sit?" Minjung questioned, her hands on her hips as a sulk came onto her face.
"Noona, noona! Sit here." Seungkwan urged, patting the seat in front of him, perfect for one person.
She quickly agreed and the two main vocalists hit it off.
"Ayo, Dino. Could you make space for two more people there?" Isseul asked from one maknae to the other. The main dancer of your group bonked her on the head but she was persistent enough as it was.
"Oh, of course! Hyungs, move. Make way." You watched as Jun and Vernon moved to the side because Chan pointed at them. Smiling, you watched as Younghee was pushed urgently by the maknae to the very back of the bus. You noticed an awkward Hoshi beside the gap of Jun and Hoshi.
They passed by the other Chan, Jun and Vernon and the quietness seethed from everyone in the bus as Hoshi and Younghee made eye contact for a solid second. Isseul pushed her.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, unnie!" she faked. The main dancer landed right next to Soonyoung, one leg over his thigh to her plight. Her face was dumped in pink as she hurriedly pulled her leg back to herself. She glared harshly at the maknae who could only muster a giggle with a few others in the bus.
"It's because she's around you a lot whenever I come over, troublemaker," you whispered to Jeonghan.
He turned from the scene and shrugged at you. "What can I say? She's my daughter."
"Not you adopting her," Joshua said with an eye roll.
You shook your head and turned back to a tugging Haewon.
"Now what's up with you?" you asked her quietly.
"Wait," she said. Haewon laid her head on your shoulder and you understood the technique right away. No one would suspect that the two of you were talking about something serious, rather something light-hearted in the skinship involved. "Okay, I can talk now."
She wrapped an arm around you and you leaned your head on her. "You're lucky we don't have our mics on now."
"Yeah..." Haewon cleared her throat. "Well, she told me that she was going to get in between you and Wonwoo during this time."
You clenched your skirt in your hand, trying not to show your anger in front of the camera. She was really going too far with it. You looked back for a second, finding her in a conversation with Wonwoo. She laughed obnoxiously loud, hitting Wonwoo on the shoulder playfully. He awkwardly chuckled back. The camera would definitely fixate on them after this.
"Hey," Joshua called softly.
You looked at him over the seat.
"Sorry it has to be this way but I promise you, Wonwoo won't do anything to hurt you."
You nodded because what else were you meant to do? It wasn't like you could tell Joshua that he was wrong because you knew that was the truth too, you could practically see the discomfiture in Wonwoo's eyes.
You sat back down, offering your shoulder for Haewon as she fell asleep during the rest of the ride.
When you arrived at the place, the group were easily lured to see how the place looked like. However, you had your eye on Binna.
"I'll talk to you later." you smiled, rubbing Wonwoo's arm.
He nodded with a smile and walked off, leaving you and Binna alone on the opposite side of the bus where you stared her down. She didn't like the way you touched Wonwoo with affection. You didn't like the way she was looking at you with those hatred-filled eyes. She was obliged to discern that you were the leader of the group. If she was going to mess with you, you had no choice but to step it up.
“Your company picked you as a leader because they knew that you were capable of taking care and mending your group even when things become tough. Don’t forget who you are.”
You sighed at her. "I hate doing this."
She rubbed her shoes against the rocks on the ground. Binna wouldn't even face you.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you."
She faced you, glaring.
"We've known each other for so long, Minjung and I practically raised you. What the hell do you think you're doing, stepping out of line with my boyfriend?"
Binna threw her head back, laughing loud again. It was like the anger was getting to her in every way possible. She looked back at you, a smirk on her lips. "Honestly, Y/N. Who do you think you are? Just because you're the Main Rapper and leader doesn't mean you have authority over me all of a sudden. I'm my own person."
Your fists clenched.
"Listen here," you said, poking her shoulder forcefully. "Right now we're on GOING SEVENTEEN, do not ruin this for the other girls, just because you want to become a homewrecker. Be courteous of them. They've always treated you nicely, for once return it to them or you'll wish you were never born, Park Binna."
Her jaw slacked for a second before she shoved your hand away in disgust carved on her face. "One opportunity from an amazing rapper and your ego is already this high, huh? I wonder how that'll break when I steal your man, leader-nim."
Binna began walking away, the crunch of the sole of her shoe hitting the pebbles on the ground.
"Binna!" you called desperately. It was safe to say that your rage was the worse now, thanks to her.
"Oh, I think your man is calling me, unnie." she sang with a snort.
Oh, it was so on.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: don't be shy binna, come here, i only want a conversation 🤜🏽😃🤜🏽
[ taglist is open ] @verasantos2002
HAHHAHA ANYWAYS, THE NEXT PART WILL COME WHEN I'VE WATCHED THE NEXT PART OF TTT TMR! BUT GUYS REMEMBER TO STREAM READY TO LOVE! WE NEED TO GET IT TO 50 MILLION BEFORE THEIR NEXT COMEBACK!!
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pairing — bang chan x reader
word count — 2.7k words
ratings — 18+
genre — some slight fluff and smut, includes face sitting, cunnilingus.
note — this is the most domestic relationship thing i've written on this blog so far. lmao, i watched chan's room, ep.1 while writing this,,,and at this point, i'm just doing like an unofficial countdown to national boyfriend's day, of sorts, ha! d-3 and here we are. i haven't ever been this content writing for a boy group as much as skz. *cries in alien language*
You are snuggling against Chan, your head on his broad chest as he plays with your hair and your fingers casually and playfully tapping his chest in a rhythm, only to trail downwards slowly. He turns his head slightly to kiss the top of your head.
And just maybe you were horny. There's no other explanation to the hand of yours that slowly trickles its way down to place itself over your boyfriend's crotch.
"Y/N," his voice is laced with strain and you chuckle, kissing the side of your boyfriend's chin. "Don't—"
"I mean, unless you intend to solve it after you cause it."
"What if I don't?"
"Sneaky little rat," Chan gasps and he wraps his arms tightly around you, snuggling you closer into him and you laugh.
It is in moments like these that your heart flutters, swells and then bursts with nothing but love for this man that you call yours in this moment. With eyes that sparkle like they can bear every single star in the galaxy and with arms that could possibly hold the whole world with the love he has, he still chooses to hold you close and keep you in his arms and call you his whole world. He chooses to rewrite the stars no matter what happens, all to keep you close to him.
"Do you want me to eat you out?"
He pushes you slightly away from him so that he can look at you as he asks. There's a lot more to the eyes that plead to you though, as if he needs something more secretly.
"It's not complete random," he mumbles and you sit up, your arms unwrapping from his physique. You stare at your boyfriend, expecting him to continue on his sudden proposal. And then he drops it.
"Sit on me."
You are about to sit on top of him, hovering over his crotch when he holds your thigh, mid air, and you look at him, in confusion, "Chan?"
"On my face."
Your eyes widen and you drop you leg back onto the mattress. You're holding him tighter, staring at your boyfriend in surprise and more of a what-the-fuck look.
"You're kidding, right?"
Chan sits up slightly, his arms supporting his body weight up from behind. He bites his lower lips as he looks at you, "Do I look like I'm kidding?"
"Why don't you give it a try? If you still don't like it, we could stop?"
And when your eyes show a flicker of hesitance, Chan lays back down again and pulls you forward. You cup his face and kiss him, holding his lower lips between yours as you try dragging it out for as long as possible. Chan holds you as you direct the kiss and he moans into you, before pulling back and mumbling, "You'd definitely be great at it."
You pull back and shimmy out of your shorts and panties, Chan's white shirt still on you. Your boyfriend looks at you in awe, like you're the literal sunshine in person and that he was nothing short of a blessed man on earth in this moment.
With unsure, wobbly steps, you crawl over to the side of Chan's face and sit on the back of your ankles as you look at him, "What if I'm too heavy?"
"You couldn't be heavy for me, baby," Chan laughs, and it's so light and soft that it eases you; that maybe, just maybe this would be a good experience. "You're the perfect size for me. You're like my other half. We are compatible. Remember, when you even got our horoscopes matched!"
"But that's a different thing! And my mother did that." You laugh at the memory. It was a year back when you asked Chan for his entire birth or natal chart and even though he persisted and asked you why you required it, you couldn't tell him till you had it, or more like your mother had it. She had been the mastermind behind the entire scheme. Chan learns of it later that day though — when your mother calls him when she couldn't reach through you.
And your mother being the ever jovial person she is, tells your boyfriend of how good the two of your marriage compatibility was. Chan had the best night of his life that day, laughing to you about it and how he'd marry you even if the compatibility had turned out to be crap.
Chan shakes his head and pulls at your thigh, "It's not now. You're my everything. My sun, my moon and my stars."
"You're sugarcoating your words to get me to sit on your face, aren't you?" You laugh, squinting your eyes in response at how adorable and desperate Chan looked at that minute.
Your boyfriend dramatically gasps, hand clutching his chest, hovering right over his heart as he closes his eyes and shakes his head, "How could you doubt my love, my darling," before bursting out into a fit of laughter and confessing, "Was it that obvious?"
"You're a drama queen." You hit his chest and he kisses your nose. "If it gets too overbearing, you'll tell me, right?"
"One hundred percent," he smiles and with that confidence, you lift your leg over his face and sit in such a way that your vulva was right in front of Chan's face, currently glistening from all the anticipation.
"God, you're beautiful," Chan mumbles to himself as he lifts his arms up slightly to grab your thighs, pulling it slightly closer to his face, leaving you like this — your knees dig into the pillow by the side of your boyfriend's face, your core hovering over his face so close that his breath on the skin by the side edges you, running a tingle down your spine.
"Come on, Y/N," he chuckles against your thigh, kissing it and laying out small kisses upwards. "You should know by now that you are not going to break me. Trust me." You look down at your boyfriend and you can't help but agree that it's the first time you're looking at Chan like this and he's still so beautiful.
"I know," you sigh, force downwards to your knee as you lower yourself slightly. Chan is still biting and kissing at your thighs, causing you to cream yourself slightly, embarassing you because he can clearly see it now. You bite down on your lips softly, and after much thought decide to reach out a hand to tangle into his hair.
Seemingly, this is all the encouragement and push your boyfriend needed because now Chan's hands lift themselves, hands on your hip before he pulls you down to come closer on to his face, knees digging into the pillow so much that Chan's face lifts up.
And then Chan's tongue is pressed flat against you. He slowly drags it against your slit, like a kitten with its soft licks and then proceeds to press a kiss to your clit when he gets to the top. You're breaking. You had such a strong conviction that you'd dislike this that you can't help but want to move your hip, to want more of his tongue — to want more of the wet muscle against your now sopping core.
Your legs relax just a bit and you willing push his face against his. Chan's face is still hurried into your core, head focussing on nothing but your pleasure. Chan licks another stripe before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking on it, loud noice of suckle resonating and causing you to move your hips slightly, just to test if it was alright. Turns out Chan loves it because he presses his head further back, hand moving downwards only to place them against your thighs to spread them apart slightly and to see how wet you are all because of him. You look down only to find Chan's eyes shut, lips chasing after your wet ones, tongue protruding out and small whines leaving him that does nothing but harness and comfort your dominant side.
You realise that Chan was still taking it slow, making sure you were comfortable with this and that you were enjoying every single bit of it. The more you let yourself relax and settled onto his face, the more his attention grew. And when Chan knew you were comfortable enough, he grips your hips, hands quickly snaking behind and pulls you further — unimaginably — down. His jaw opens wide and he draws his tongue up and down, lapping at your slit like it's an eternal drink. His warm muscle circles around your clit, causing you to shiver in his hold, chills send up your spine.
Your eyes close, the pleasure unimaginably good as you stretch your left hand to hold the bed post and the other tangles itself amongst Chan's hair roots, pulling it slightly everytime you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. Chan circles around your dripping hole, tongue teasingly poking and pressing in before it is gone again. Your hip gyrate against his face almost like it has a mind of its own. His nose nudges occasionally against your core and your mound that has you biting the insides of your mouth to suppress a large moan.
Chan keeps a rhythm as his tongue laps against your sopping lips, paying equal attention to every part that it send your receptors into snap, endorphins releasing slowly in the build up. His tongue takes in every bit of your wetness that you are left gasping, hips moving against his tongue and eyes squeezing, as your mouth left nothing but his name like a mantra.
Your thighs shake in the pleasure, torn between collapsing and embracing the feeling and you know, for sure, that had it not been for Chan's iron grip on your thighs. Not that Chan seemed too interested in being given the space for him to breathe with how eager he is to bring your hips closer to his face, barely giving him space to breathe.
Slowly and almost what seemed too short, it is all too much for you, the constant sucking and licking and feeling of his warmth against your dripping core. Chan's tongue finally slips into your core and before you really could grasp understanding of what exactly you were doing, you are here, grinding on his face, rocking between his nose pressed against your clit and his tongue buried as far as possible inside you.
Chan moans in ecstacy, his tongue feeling the pressure from your muscles tightening. The slight vibration is enough to slowly spiral you and draw out another loud moan from your dry throat and out through your coral lips. One of his hands grips your thigh, digging in his fingers and the other splays out flat on your back.
It's like all your misconception about this is thrown out through the window. You groan out loud, knuckles turning white as you grip on the bed post tightly as he worked against your slit, letting your hips move as they wished now, his grip on your hips a lot lighter. Your other hand in his hair switches between pulling and petting. You try to focus on the wall in front of you but your vision is all blurry in the slowly becoming euphoria. You can't help but let out small praises in between breaths, "You're a good, good boy," and "Fuck, look at how needy you are," and in all honesty, even you are surprised by the words that leave you. Though, all that does is get Chan more enthusiastic with each one, his tongue moving even more furiously against you.
Before you know it, the knot that built up seems to slowly tense up, close enough to snap and you know you are on the edge. You try desperately to form words though all you can roll from your tongue are desperate whines and moans and chants for Chan to fuck you up more. You pull on his hair, pulling him closer while grinding against him harder.
And then it snaps as you come, like a rope that is knotted so perfectly, pulled apart till you see the fibres so clearing straining away and breaking. You see the white as you close your eyes, the oxytocin rushing through and you are grinding on Chan's face further to ride it all out, your tongue rolling out the words, "Chan, oh my fuck!" over and over again. Your whole body shakes and your legs instinctively try to close though it just ends up pressed against Chan's face, not that he minded it one bit. Chan licks you out soft and slowly, helping you through your orgasm patiently and you want to cry at how blessed you truly are.
Chan keeps up the gentle attention until you finally decide to push his head back, hand off his hair and bedpost, lifting yourself slowly off his face. Or at least you tried and that should count. Your legs that desperately chooses not to cooperate, feeling sore and muscles strained. Chan laughs at you as you try to lift yourself off and he helps you, hand warm against your wet thighs as he lifts them over his face and to his side. You drop down, sliding against the mattress downwards and Chan coos, "Look at my baby."
“Fuck,” is all you can say, heart racing against your chest after one of the better orgasms ever and you close your eyes.
Chan pulls you closer into him, stroking your cheek and kissing your forehead, lips lingering for more than a second. You finally open your eyes, only to lock gazes with your boyfriend and you smile, albeit a tired yet loving smile. Chan press his lips against your nose and tells you, "I'm one lucky man."
"Yes," you chortle, hugging your boyfriend tighter. "Yes, you are."
You take in the sight of Chan in all his glory. His jaw is slick, light hitting off them and making them glisten, cheeks flushed pink and his lips are pulled into a soft smile at you. His eyes don't leave yours for even a minute and they are filled with nothing but soft love coloured in pastel pink in your head. It makes your heart flutter against your ribs.
"Did you enjoy it?"
"More than I should," you sigh contently. You let yourself be swallowed by the beautiful sight before for just a moment longer, to remember every single bit of this in your head. “Now stop looking so sappy and proud.”
If anything, your comment only makes Chan's smile grow wider. Chan still holds you in his arms but he turns his head to look up at the ceiling, smiling so brightly like a dork. “I know I enjoyed it.”
And then, as if he knew you had your eyes trained on his, he sticks his tongue out, slowly dragging it against your wetness left as residues by his mouth. He licks it all up and then finishes it out by licking his lips and you hate that you find yourself clenching your thighs against each other. Why were you such a putty in his hands and to everything he does? Stupid boyfriend that knows he too hot for any good.
“Think I’ll get to do it again sometime?”
You laugh, kissing his cheek. “Maybe,” you say, smiling to yourself. "Who knows? Guess you'll have to wait and see how this pans out now, right?"
Chan looks at you, turning himself to snuggle into your warmth, wanting to be the smaller spoon suddenly. His head hurried against your chest, nose grazing the top of your breast, he closes his eyes, taking in your natural scent. Your hand finds itself on top of his head as you slowly pet his hair, pausing only when you hear him mumble against your skin.
"I've never minded waiting for you."
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So I have finally caught up with CR as of today’s rebroadcast, and oh MAN what an episode to be caught up on.
Most of those feelings are about Fjord, at the moment, because holy shit but in such a compelling way, I love this character and hell yes Travis for playing him this way, specifically in the context of how different characters feel about sacrifice.
We know, we’ve known for a few episodes (and man am I sorry I haven’t been jotting down post-ep notes for the past few eps, I have gotten out of the habit and I need to get back in) that most of the M9 expects they might die here, to one degree or another. There’s been an absolutely fascinating range of reactions and attitudes around that thus far, too.
Caleb, full of guilt and the desire for redemption, holding onto every intention of dying for his friends and the absolute conviction that’s a thing he can control and enforce on the world. Caduceus, raised around death but never quite so close to him or so far away from home as it is now, saying his goodbyes and trying to make peace with a thing that clearly frightens him. Beau, who expected to be probably-dead or at least much more alone by this age anyway, only talking about the possibility of her own death as a possible logistical necessity as she focuses not on what comes after but only on getting through this fight. Yasha, who’s outlived so many people, who can rage through unconsciousness, even into death as though it’s only an inconvenience, making jokes-that-aren’t-quite-jokes about how she’ll probably be fine and survive them all, knowing she probably can. Jester, who always, always tries to be positive, to make light, to be joy and fun that hides the darkness under the bed where it can’t be seen, saying “what do I need money for, we’re going into the North to die”, another joke-that-isn’t-a-joke, another fear that she can’t face or admit or buckle under because how selfish would that be, right now. Veth, who feels so much desperate guilt and torn duty and half-broken devotion to her family, determined to survive, still so scared she won’t for their sake.
There’s so much focus from each of them on their own deaths, even as they try to protect their friends. There’s Caleb and Beau explicitly willing to trade their own lives for the sake of the rest of the group if they have to, if they can; there’s Caduceus and Jester, less explicit about it but expecting to face one loss or another, resigned to it; there’s Yasha and Veth and expectations of survival already bound up in survivors’ guilt even before the question gets asked.
Or: the questions, plural, because there are two different questions being asked here: there's "am I willing to die to save my friends?", and there's, "am I willing to die to win this fight?", and they're all bound up in each other in slightly different degrees for each person. The consensus for most of the group seems very much to be that, yes, they're willing to die for the sake of this fight, that's what it means to be here in the first place; and as far as their friends go, well, if someone has to die during this fight, let it be me and not them. And that's beautiful and honorable and chest-aching in seven different unique ways for each party member, but the one I'm thinking about today is Fjord, who I did not mention on my list above, who has added one more question to his list.
Because while everybody else in the party is asking themselves what they're willing to trade their lives for for, Fjord has skipped over that step entirely (to save the world, to protect his friends, yes, yes, of course, obviously). The question he's asking, here and now, is "who else's life am I willing to trade for this fight?" And that is a question I find incredibly compelling.
Nobody else would've told the rangers to engage. I don't even think Matt as Essek expected Fjord to suggest they ought to engage, not directly; perhaps try to lay a false trail, perhaps try to implode the exit as previously mentioned, but not this. Fjord ordered half a dozen men into a massacre. He did it on purpose, to burn a few of his enemy's spell slots, to try and buy his team another hour of sleep. He didn't even have much expectation of victory. But he did it, because the math in his head said this would give the Nein a better chance in this fight, and winning this fight is more important than anyone's lives.
Even long before the Tombtakers showed up at Aeor, I kept thinking about that conversation with Beau about a fallback position for retreat. "There's no leaving this fight," Fjord said, "not for me, and not, I think, for you either." It's about the specifics, the logistics of not needing an escape plan because they don't plan to escape, but it's also very much a statement of intent. It's Fjord saying, I will buy this victory with my life, because victory is more important here than my survival. And it is, at least a little bit, Fjord saying, I will buy this victory with your life too, if that's what it costs. Because victory is more important here than anyone's survival. Because survival, at this point, is not even a consideration in the mathematical equation of tactics and necessity, except in that we can't win if we're dead. Our lives are worth nothing if we lose here, so we will spend whatever we have to in order to win.
It's a kind of ruthlessness I find incredibly interesting and appealing as a character choice, because there's little or no selfishness in the cold calculation of it. At no point is Fjord choosing or even contemplating anyone else's sacrifice for the sake of his own survival. He would die happily to save any of his friends, is more than willing to die in this fight himself, and would consider it a complete victory if doing so stopped Lucien in the process. It's just that Fjord also seems painfully aware that his own death isn't necessarily the price this victory is going to cost. If it's a choice between letting Yasha die and stopping this ritual, he already knows what he ought to choose. If it's a choice between cutting down Beau and Caleb to protect the part of the party that can still fight Lucien, or trying to save them, well, there's a reason he's the one Caleb asked to fulfill that promise. All else being equal, Fjord would save his teammates over himself, but that's never been how the throes of combat work, and all else is never equal. Fjord might be the only member of the group right now who would deliberately save himself at a teammate's expense specifically because he'd have the highest chance of stopping this mad city's return. And that is a lot.
All of which means I am incredibly excited to see what sorts of choices Fjord is faced with in the coming weeks. When it's more than just hypothetical, when it's Jester in danger instead of some nameless rangers on a mountainside, will he stick to his desperate pragmatism or will his love and protectiveness win out? How does he face himself after either version of that decision? What is he going to have to do? I cannot wait to find out.
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MARISA: Dust is not a good thing. Grownups are infected so deeply that it’s too late for them. Condemned to a life of sin, guilt, and regret.
ASRIEL: They have been trying to convince us for centuries that we are born guilty. And that we have to spend a lifetime atoning for the crime of eating an apple.
MARISA/ASRIEL + ANTIPARALLELS
the text on 2, 3, 6, and 7 have nothing to do with the scenes they’re on. I just needed to get those on the set
gif 1: marisa tells lyra she “never meant to do her harm” vs. asriel being afraid of what he’s capable of doing hence the freakout at lyra showing up at the lab
still on gif 1, i had a hard time choosing a moment for the top gif because there’s a lot to choose from in that scene but this one shows marisa’s fingers all tensed while she strokes lyra’s hair. it could’ve also been the part where lyra brings marisa’s hand to her cheek. you get the sense that marisa doesn’t know what she’s doing in both. like goblin petting pan backwards in ep 2. asriel, on the other hand, is so rough with lyra that she boinks her little head but that roughness is something she’s used to (see: ep 1)
gif 2: like i said, the text has nothing to do with it. i just like the visual contrast of the top and bottom gifs. asriel has his hands in his pockets, avoiding lyra like she has cooties, and you have marisa like “lets hold hands while we talk”.
gifs 3 and 6 go together. they’re both hurting lyra but marisa’s using her daemon. again, the scenes don’t really have anything to do with the text but it’s important to note that when marisa says “I am your mother” there it’s more like “I am your mo– 🤢 I can’t even say it 🤢 🥴 🤮 🥴 🤮”
i’ve done a set with gif 4 before, and have kind of talked about it here. i just really love that you can see the difference in where their anger is directed; marisa inwards and asriel @ the powers that be. a lot of that anger is rooted in the consequences of their affair and the difference in where that anger is directed is rooted in how they grew up in that world.
gif 5 is kind of related to gif 4, especially the text from 2.05. it’s marisa on the outside looking in, and asriel in the room where it happens. there’s also shots of lyra looking in but this is about the babes and not the bebe
gif 7 is similar to gif 2 where marisa is just *strokes bebe’s face as she walks away* and asriel once again avoids touching her like she has cooties. the text in 2 and 7 is also like how asriel is all heart eyes when he's talking about her but marisa is like that man this that man that you let a guy raw you once
gif 8 ok so that’s not exactly when marisa says “you are either with me or against me” but it’s that scene. i like the contrast of asriel and stel side by side daring literal angels to fight god with them, and then you have marisa’s soul flinching away from her.
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