#especially if it's the actual sound and you can hear the ambient noises of the barn

[doberbutts]

Thank you for talking about the “able to get to the door but unable to stay inside” thing re:stimulation. My issues are less severe than yours were (creates chronic fatigue instead of severe meltdowns) but it’s kinda the first time I’ve heard anyone discuss them as a legitimate disabling barrier. I still have this “if I just try hard enough” mentality that I’m trying to overcome, and it helps to have someone else go “no, this is a real problem.”

Honestly the brain injury really opened my eyes because I do have ADD and had childhood epilepsy (been seizure-free since I was 8 tho) so we were somewhat conscious about sensory stuff but a lot of it was like. Okay every once in a while you will touch something that is Bad Texture and you will scrub your skin raw about it for the next couple of hours. Annoying repeating sounds fade into the background for you but God Forbid anyone talks while you're concentrating because now they've ruined everything. You'd rather starve than put Tastes Bad into your mouth and have gone to bed with hunger pains many times as a result. etc etc etc for me it wasn't so disabling but largely that was due to my mom knowing how to manage my symptoms and teaching me from a very young age how to cope.

And then with the seizures my major warning sign was a colossal headache that refused to go away which was a sign to go lay down somewhere quiet and dark for a few hours until it passed or else a lightning storm would happen in my skull :D

But the brain injury... that really upset everything. Which is commonly reported, when I was finally able to speak I told my neurologist that I felt like a completely different person and not in a good way and he said that most TBI survivors have said this.

Honestly the best way I can describe it is that. Hmm. Imagine... your TV is too loud. When I say too loud I mean like. It hurts to be in the same room as the TV, it's bordering on the edge of so loud that it makes you physically take a step back. When the TBI first happened, that was any and every stimulus to my senses. My clothes touching my skin was Too Loud. Tasting my food was Too Loud. The ambient light coming from my window was Too Loud. And so on and so forth. Because there was an actual damaged piece of my brain, it was really struggling to parse any more information than "oh, no, ow, make that stop".

I wore blacked out glasses inside because I couldn't stand to keep my eyes open otherwise. I would ask my roommates to whisper several rooms down if they were going to talk to each other or on the phone because even just hearing their footsteps was like someone was taking a hammer to my forehead. I was usually naked because the feel of my shirt against my back would set me off. There's a lot I can't remember from that time but I remember being so frustrated as I hid under my covers from the light and the ambient noise of living with a bunch of people and their pets that "trying harder" and "pushing through" honestly just made everything worse.

It's a lot better now. It'll be 5 years in July. But every once in a while something will still set me off and I will be back in that place, frustrated with myself as I feel my brain hurtling towards a Very Loud Meltdown that I cannot get to stop.

I just don't appreciate being told that it's somehow lesser because my legs work. Especially considering TBIs are so common, and they happen so fast. All it takes is one good knock on the head and then you'll be just like me.

[lestatslestits]

I am once again posting by the skin of my teeth, but it’s still Thursday here which means I’m not late for TOTA Takeover Day Four, dedicated to Fergus MacKinnon.

Fergus is a very special character to me, and his arc is devastating. I work in mental health and out of all of the characters in the show, Fergus is the one who hits closest to home for me.

And as a result it took me a long time to decide what I wanted to write. In the end, I’m pleased with the outcome and I hope y’all enjoy it too.

Note: this is a direct follow up to Rosalie’s ficlet from Day One, in the sense that they take place in the same day/night, and this fic makes reference to that one (although it’s brief and you can definitely still understand this one if you haven’t read it)

He can’t sleep, so he decides to go to the kitchen.

He likes kitchens, they’re filled with the kinds of things he understands: things powered with electricity, things alive with faint humming noises and barely-there vibrations that no one notices but him. This kitchen, massive and industrial, sounds nothing like his mam’s kitchen growing up, or even the kitchen in the flat he had occupied until he occupied a series of loony bins instead, but there’s still something he finds grounding about it, especially late at night when there are no staff members to chase him out because they are afraid he’ll learn where the knives are kept.

(He already knows where the knives are kept, and how to pick the lock on the cupboard door.)

(He once spent an entire afternoon hiding in an entirely different and thoroughly forgotten cupboard just to prove to himself that he could do it without being caught out. To this day, no one knows.)

There are two ways to get into the St. Jude’s Hospital kitchen when you’re not on staff. One involves abseiling down the side of the building from his fourth floor room and the other involves being able to walk silently, blend into the shadows, keep his head down, and be massively underestimated by everyone who sees him. He’s not in the mood to rig up a rope this late in the evening, so he chooses the latter option.

Stuart doesn’t typically work the graveyard shifts, and the aides who do are less inclined to act like big stupid guard dogs eager to slam patients into walls. The one occupying the nurse’s station nearest to the kitchen has brought a book to read and it must be a good one because he doesn’t even look up as Fergus slips past him.

He wishes he knew what the book was. He’s already read everything in the hospital’s single-shelf “library,” and money is always tight so hasn’t picked up any books on his last few outings. But as he can’t very well go up and ask, he puts the thought aside and focuses on picking the locks on the kitchen door. There are two, and he knows how to pick them both with paperclips.

(Technically speaking, he isn’t meant to have paperclips, but they are remarkably easy to nick from almost any desk in the hospital, so he’s always got plenty on hand.)

He slips into the kitchen and shuts the door behind him. He breathes easier in here, out of the line of sight. Even so, he turns one of the locks behind him, and navigates in the dark so that no light shines out under the crack in the door.

For a long moment he relishes his hard-won freedom, and loses himself in the sounds all around him.

In his younger days no one had believed or even had any interest in listening to his insistence that there were voices—whispers—in the electrical hum of the world around him. In fact, no one had cared about the voices he heard at all, until they started shouting abusive litanies and telling him to follow the hidden messages he heard in television and radio broadcasts.

(After that they had cared a lot.)

(To this day the voices he hears in the ambient noise of the modern world are the only ones he actually finds comforting—and the ones no one else seems interested in.)

He allows himself this moment of peace where these voices drown out the ones demanding self-hatred and paranoia.

(The meds that they give him make those voices quieter, but they never silence them completely.)

Once he’s fully grounded in the space and his eyes have adjusted to the darkness, he reminds himself that he’s on mission and moves primarily by sound and touch in search of his prize.

The cocoa here is shit. It’s cheap powdered stuff bought in bulk and mixed with hot water, often without much effort at stirring out the clumps. He’s working with what he’s got, but he swaps water out in favor of milk, a small luxury. Once it’s boiling gently he stirs in the cocoa mix, using the light of the open refrigerator to determine when the clumps have been properly obliterated.

He does the washing up when he’s finished with the kitchen: puts everything back into order and escapes with one perfect cup of cocoa, locking the doors behind him. The aide at the desk has not looked up from his book.

~~~

“I’ve got something for you.”

The figure in the narrow bed shifts under a multitude of blankets. “Fergus? What time is it?” His voice sounds thoroughly wrecked.

“Late. You slept through the cocoa round. Figured you needed the rest, though.”

“So you’re waking me now instea—oh.” Campbell Bain has flopped onto his back and is now squinting up at him with bleary, watery eyes.

He extends the cup he’s holding. “Made it myself,” he explains, answering the unasked question of where he got cocoa at this hour.

“Do they no keep the kitchen locked up tae keep the loonies out of the knives and all?”

“They try,” he agrees amiably, with a subdued smile. Then, “It’s going cold.”

Campbell heaves himself into a sitting position and coughs mightily for his effort. Fergus waits until he’s done before he hands him the cocoa.

“Rosalie stopped by. Earlier.”

“Oh?”

“She couldn’t—“

“Right,” The boy’s head bobs in understanding. He sips the cocoa and declares, “That’s no bad. Different than what we get on the cocoa round, though.”

“I used real milk.” He’s actually properly proud of that, and feels the pride legitimized by Campbell’s appreciative smile. It drops when he asks, “How’s the throat?”

“Hurts.”

Fergus brushes Campbell’s absurd fringe from his face and presses a hand to his forehead. Still feverish.

“Thanks for the cocoa. I didnae know you could cook.”

“It’s just cocoa, Campbell.” He hesitates and adds, “I like kitchens, though. They whisper to me.”

It’s not a strange thing to say. Not here. And anyways, Campbell never seems to register strangeness. He looks unsurprised, and there’s sincerity in his voice when he asks, “What do they say?”

“Good things,” Fergus replies. He doesn’t elaborate. It’s too personal, anything beyond that. Campbell doesn’t press.

“That’s nice,” he says, drinking the cocoa to the dregs. “I’m glad. Thanks for the cocoa.”

“Don’t mention it.” He means that literally: this has to be a secret between the two of them.

Campbell nods in earnest understanding.

“And get some rest. You look like hell.”

Before any offense can be registered, Fergus slips out the door and back towards his room a floor above. He’s less restless now. Maybe he’ll even manage to get some sleep.

#takin over the asylum #TOTA Takeover #tota #fergus mackinnon #takin’ over the asylum #tota fandom #tota fanfic

[paintedscales]

🐻 ---- What are some strange sleep patterns your muse has? Do they sleep a lot, too little, not at all?

Hihi, thank you idalenn and @rockmehythlodaeus for the asks! I hope that this weekend has been treating you both kindly, and that it's not too miserable in terms of the weather. ; w ; / ♥

Animal themed headcanon prompts

Nomin's a light sleeper -- she kind of has to be, especially since a lot of her life, she's used to camping out, and used to being on edge after escaping her captors within her teen years. Genuinely, I don't think she ever gets it wired into her brain to not be a light sleeper, and since there aren't really reliable sources of soundproofing for her horns, it can be a bit annoying at times. (Sorry Cinnamon kiddos, mother knows when you sneak out at night; your father, too, probably, but this ain't about him.)

Ambient noises are no cause for concern a lot of the time, but once she hears something like rocks disturbed -- gravel falling, for example -- or a twig snapping, she is instantly awake and reaching for her bow, lance, or rapier. Whichever is closest to her bedroll. Sleeping in inns and taverns are more tricky, because she generally dislikes the sound of people freely walking past. It shouldn't be a concern because it's a public place used by multitudes of people, but it is. A weapon is always nearby.

Even sleeping at the Fortemps manor was hard at first. Only once Nomin was sure that nothing was going to bother nor harm her within Lord Edmont's abode did she start sleeping a little more soundly.

As for actual sleeping habits once she's in slumber... Nomin's tail will wrap itself around one of her thighs over the course of a night if it's particularly chilly. Just to keep warm. It's a subconscious thing that happens as she's sleeping. So she never particularly remembers doing it, but she wakes up to it around her leg sometimes, that she's just accepted it as something her body does. Her tail absolutely does the same when she starts sharing a bed with Estinien as well, it'll move to seek out his warmth more since he's usually warmer than Nomin is.

#questions and answers #user: idalenn #user: rockmehythlodaeus #ffxiv #ffxiv oc #oc: nomin tal kheeriin #cinnamon lite

[donnerpartyofone]

I had a dream that I had gotten heavily into a (fictional) indie rock band with a lot of thoughtful, poignant lyrics about life and relationships and stuff. I was telling people, "I don't usually listen to anything like this, but this is so good, it's my new favorite thing!" In reality I haven't listened to anything like that in years.

I started removing myself from poignant, thoughtful music about life and relationships and stuff during and after my Very Abusive Relationship, which semi-permanently alienated me from most forms of sentimental, romantic media--ESPECIALLY media that romanticizes destructive obsessions and shitty behavior, which is practically all media as you may have immediately realized. That stuff used to be fun before I actually lived through it and realized that it's always about infantile egomania and that I actually hate people who have to hurt others in order to feel like they have the slightest shred of efficacy/value/relevance in their own narrow little lives (which is a surprising number of people btw). The /bad romance/ thing seems so monolithic, like the biggest most desirable thing in the world, until you get right up close with your nose to it and you realize it's made out of particle board and vinyl siding and it has to be that big to cast an obscuring shadow over a whole lot of adult babies (sorry, adult baby community, I actually don't mean you) who are hoping you won't notice how spineless and pathetic they are. Spending a few years with someone who made it his business to scare the shit out of me and try to ruin my life, fairly publicly, had the one-two punch of making me feel like I simply wasn't good enough to be in one of those dark and brooding romances because otherwise why would he try to convince me I was nothing--and conversely, leaving me totally disillusioned about dark and brooding romances because I had been up close and seen how the sausage was made and it's not remotely as exotic and delicious as people try to tell you it is. It's just off-brand baby food, left on the shelf long past its expiry.

Right after that was over another factor pulled me away from poignant, thoughtful music about life and relationships and stuff, which was working in an open-plan office next to the tech guy pool. Us sensitive, artistic nerds in the production department had a pretty high-stress job that required constant focus, and we were pretty much only ever noticed by the overlords if one of us screwed something up; we were constantly being monitored not just for poor performance, but for potential political incorrectness or any little thing that could be construed as an HR problem--and in the meantime, the tech guys were literally screaming misogynistic jokes and racial slurs and throwing shit at each other, sometimes hitting us or our computers, but the executives had this hypnosis telling them that tech guys are Valuable so everything they do is OK forever. One of my main coping mechanisms was to get heavily into metal and harsh noise: anything with a cathartically brutal wall-of-sound quality and no discernible lyrics to speak of, that prevented me from having to hear anyone around me or even think about other people and their emotions. This kind of music became a huge passion for me, so in a way it was a net positive experience.

Nowadays I don't have a lot of time for music, which seems crazy even to me, like I don't want to be one of those sociopaths who say they don't listen to music! I just have to spend a LOT of time watching movies, when I have time for A/V entertainment, and I don't drive or have a commute anymore, so that's pretty limiting. When I do have time for music, it's a weird 7-10 split of trashy hype dance music like Atari Teenage Riot or Rob Zombie (or other things I'm too embarrassed to mention atm) to burn off my anxiety and give me a temporary ego boost that I can feel ashamed of later, and on the other hand, really heady, long ambient or experimental compositions, preferably with no vox. I think I'd like to get more into jazz and classical music and I occasionally go down a youtube rabbit hole that I really enjoy, but not much sticks because it turns into information overload and I get distracted.

Sometimes for whatever neurotic reason I have this allergic reaction to our collective preciousness about Human Drama, like why don't we have anything better to think about? There's some Herzog quote, I won't know how to find it, where he wonders why people always make movies about interpersonal problems, why not the drama of insect life, of cellular activities, of geological metamorphosis? And I really feel that way, often. But for some reason I am now dreaming that I've found some thoughtful, poignant indie rock band with lyrics about life and relationships and stuff that I cannot get enough of and I'm telling the world. I wonder what shifted to make me imagine that.

#i wonder if this is related to the same thing that's making me look for a therapist again

[mr-no-life]

Three Games that have Creative Sound Design

When it comes to video games, I think that sound and music are the biggest make or break for me (second that to the story, but we are not going to worry about it). One of the core components of a video game that I feel gets ignored all too quickly (especially in the Indie Game scene) because Graphics are what people worry about the most. I was going to write a post about how the lack of sound/music in a game can drive a game… but I had a meltdown trying to write the opening paragraph, so instead I am going to talk about three games that I feel like have the strongest and most creative sound design and why. I will link all of these games at the end of the post for you to enjoy. As a reminder, I am no industry professional and this is by far not professional commentary on the state of how video games are made. I am a filthy casual that is a sucker for things that sound good. Oh, there may be spoilers for these games, this is your only warning. 

To start, all three of these games have the following in common:

The overall sound design (from levels, to timing, to being able to set the tone etc.) are pleasing and engaging. 

The music whether it be original score or licenced music fits the tone of the game 

It strived to do something unique (I know that is a broad category, I’ll do my best to explain it) 

The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe 

This game… An enigma gameplay wise with a quite interesting take on the narrative as a whole. But, what sets it apart from most games (and even from the other two on this list) is how the lack of sound and music are used to drive the story along. What makes this game so charming is how while the designers could have easily gallen to the trope of having music constantly playing in the background throughout the whole game, they instead chose to only have music at key moments and endings depending on the choices you make. 

One ending that stood out to me is what is known as the “Space” ending where after a series of choices you end up in a black room with a nice little ambient track and a quick quip by the narrator and that’s it. Speaking of the narrator (who is voiced by Kevan Brighting) he is the only voice throughout the game and depending on your choices he will judge or praise you. At times he is the only thing you hear (outside the dulcet ambient humm of the office around you) and (at least for me) that alone can be a drive for the player. This “search for the next cue” may seem not fun for some people, but for others, finding the next cure or a different cue is the fun part of the game. It’s almost hard (for me at least) to describe how the lack of music is actually a good thing and how most of the time you only hear the ambient noises of the office around you, the dull hums of computers and what I can only assume is the HVAC system in the background as the narrator occasionally quipping at you as you run in a continuous loop trying to find something different each time. 

As for the soundtrack, there is only about 90 mins worth of notable music cues, that is not bad considering games like Skyrim and Red Dead Redemption (1 and 2) easily clock in with 3+ hour long soundtracks, which isn't a bad thing I just find it impressive when games with little to no soundtrack can still be this enjoyable. I almost have a hard time describing any more because at the time of writing this I still haven't even gotten to any of the newer endings and I'm just scratching the surface with finding the little easter eggs.

Favorite song track: Control by: Yiannis Ioannides Favorite Sound Effect: Clicking with nothing to interact with

Fallout: New Vegas

One of my (and many others) favorite RPGs out there. There is honestly nothing I could say about this game that over twelve years of gaming journalism hasn't already covered about this game. I will say this, it amazes me that through the years, New Vegas and the rest of the Fallout games as a whole have managed to stay consistent (for the most part) with their sounds and music scores. From the iconic bottle cap sound to the entire ambient score by Inon Zur, for a game of the Xbox360/PS3 era, it surprisingly holds to this day. The ONE nitpick I have (as with most Bethesda games) you will at one point encounter all five voice actors at some point playing every named and unnamed NPC in the game… kinda strange but it is what it is. 

Speaking of voice actors, the voice levels are surprisingly crisp, and the fact that the levels change if the NPC is wearing a hazmat suit or a helmet (an obvious notice but a tiny detail I love). A couple key voice actors that really stand out to me are Ulysses voiced by Roger Cross and Mr.House voiced by Rene Auberjonois (may he rest in peace). As much as the internet likes to meme it to death, Ulysses’ ramblings are by far the most catching of the named NPCs. It’s his overall tone and demeanor that despite all the bullshit that has happened to him, he still manages to stay calm and let his words do the real damage. Mr. House, for a robotic A.I this snarky asshole definitely oozes that “Mr. Vegas/big money CEO” persona. I actually appreciate the fluctuations (which are subtle but they are there) that he has throughout the game. The thing that seals the deal for Mr. House as my favorite NPC is the fact that depending on who you side with in the game, you see Mr.House’s shriveled body, and he actually sounds how he looks. They could have easily  made his human form sound like his A.I persona, but they didn’t, and that is an amazing touch. Outside of the voice acting, the rest of the ambient sounds are actually mixed pretty well for the most part, no one sound overpowers the others (and I usually have my master volume set to about 50% because I play with speakers). 

All of this is just the vanilla base game with DLCs that sound this good, I have neglected to mention the years of mods from the community that add their own sounds and voice acting to the game (and I am not going to talk about it here cause that is a blog post for another day). Speaking of the DLCs, the wealth of unique characters, and sound effects I could gush about for a while (But I have to leave something for a future blog post ;) ) I could proceed further, but to summarize, 10/10 sound quality from a different era.

Favorite song track: Serenity/Dream Town by: Mark Morgan Fun Fact: This was first featured in Fallout 2 Favorite Sound effect: The ambient sounds of the K9000 Cyberdog gun from the Old World Blues DLC.

Left 4 Dead (both 1 and 2) 

This game is one of the few exceptions I will make to play multiplayer with. Something about grabbing three other friends and fighting hordes of zombies is just… **Chef's kiss** delightful. BUT, I have never played a game (or seen a movie) that does Leitmotifs as good as the Left 4 Dead games… For thoughs who do not know, in short a Leitmotif (or more commonly a Music Motif ) is a song or sound cue that is recurring with a specific character, idea or place. What makes this game stand out (even to this day) is the almost god-like timing and placement of these cues. For a game that came out two years (for the first one, one year before for the second) before Fallout New Vegas, the techniques used and the style they are mixed stand out far above the other games of the time (in my opinion, and that is not to say the other games were not bad, hell, Super Smash Bros Brawl and Fallout 3 came out the same year, 2008 was just good as a whole). 

Let’s start with how Leitmotifs are used: both games have what are known as “special infected” zombies, and are usually there to spice up the game and either force your team to work together, or panic and split. Each one of these special infected have their own sound cues and music stings to alert the player(s) that they are coming. What I like about this is that when you first play these games you’re initial reaction may be “What the fuck is that?” and then BOOM all hell is breaking loose. But, as you play them more and more the confusion turns into “Everyone start running shit is going to hit the fan.” But, a nice little detail I actually learned from another review of this game, is that a lot of the audio cues (not necessarily the music stings) have there own built in Doppler effect (witch I fucking hate, but more on that later) witch makes it all the harder to pin point were the zombies are coming from. It adds a nice little touch to something that could easily have been a bland generic one cue note. 

Speaking of musical stings, there are FOUR (Yes four) music stings for when you are hanging off a ledge, and they get louder and more intense as time goes by, witch just makes me giggle like a child because it is a clear indicator that you are gonna die unless someone saves you. While I was doing research for this post, I noticed another interesting detail I did not notice until now, when a hoard of zombies is approaching in Left 4 Dead 2, the song that plays during the hoard is different depending on witch of the six campaigns you are playing, and I think that is absolutely BRILLIENT it makes it seem like each campaign is unique and fresh. This may seem kind of an odd praise, but each of the campaigns (in Left 4 Dead 1 and 2) have their own unique song attached to them (that is separate from the Hoard songs in the case of L4D2). As with the other two games I have gushed about, I could spend a lot more time going on and on about how each of the sound cues for the special infected have both a piano and a string variant, how the sound goes mute and dry when you are almost dead, but I feel like I have gotten my point across, this is a solid game for it to have come out in ‘08.

Favorite song track: Dead Air (the self titled theme for the L4D1 Campaign of the same name) by: Mike Morasky Favorite Sound effect(s): The entirety of the L4D2 Dark Carnival campaign.

In Conclusion. These are just three games I feel like have some pretty solid sound design, but as with most things, they are not without their flaws. Stanley Parable gets a tad frustrating because you are sometimes left wandering around in a quiet empty space with no cues from the Narrator, Fallout New Vegas and the famous “crash every two hours” issue, and the Left 4 Dead games sometimes gets a bit TOO chaotic at times and some of the details are lost. But in the end, that’s what makes these games great, there flaws are often put to the wayside because the strengths shine that good, and to me that is the sign of a good game, where the nitpicks and issues are still there, but it makes the game that much more enjoyable because it is essentially a flawed masterpiece. In the era of “everything has to be 4k graphics and flawless and bug free day 1” the charm of an indie game taking its first baby steps into the world is often seen as “lazy” because we have sadly shifted the focus from “quality” to “quantity”. But, that is not my place to talk, we are here to celebrate the Music and Audio Design in games (both AAA and indie). I will most likely be doing another one of these types of posts later in the year talking about three more games’ audio I love. If you have any questions, feel free to DM me here on Tumblr or on Twitter (links in the bio). Below is a list of resources for you to check out the games mentioned here today (and the kind people who inspired me to do this). Stay safe everyone! (^_^)

Games:

Fallout: New Vegas

Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe 

Left 4 Dead & Left 4 Dead 2

Resources:

Left 4 Dead Wiki

Nukipedia

What keeps Left 4 Dead 2 so GREAT even 12 years later? By: Bricky on Youtube

#youtube video #video games #video game music #video game audio #audio production #audio engineering #music #art #design #science #music theory #audio music #aaa games #stanley parable #left 4 dead #l4d2 #L4D #fallout new vegas #FNV #Dog #carnival #dark carnival #2008 #indie games #gamedev

[deepsixedphantm]

Sensory Aids

Sensory Aids are pry the biggest comfort factor in my day to day. That I fit into two categories. 

1. Stuff that helps me deal with external stimuli while I am out (tone down sensory input)

2. Stuff that helps me decompress when I am alone so I can be more comfortable in general

Sensory are the objects that help me function in daily life. First, the ones that I generally always have on me are sunglasses, earbuds, but especially earplugs. Noise is the most overwhelming thing and with earplugs I can tune that down while still being able to hear the people around me. It took a couple days to get used to the slight difference in the sound but genuinely it makes it so much easier to focus when everything is tuned down and sounds from electrical wiring and HVAC systems is removed. I use Loop Earplugs they are not the cheapest and their might be others but wow do they work so well. They are discrete and small, I don’t find them clunky and they don’t make my ears hurt. I frequently forget they are there. They are endlessly reusable and very functional. I have several sets that like in my backpacks, at my desk, and several other useful places that way instead of having to consciously remember them they are just around. 

Also in daily life I find having fidgets helpful especially in settings where I need to focus and/or stay still. My absolute favorite are Tangles which are very quiet and the junior size is small enough I can mess with them in one hand while taking notes with the other. The other fidget I frequently carry is a Pop it Keychain just as another option for a way to channel my movement. 

I also use sensory aids to maintain my space and to give myself functional space. 

For managing smell I have a HEPA air filter which gets rid of lots of the ambient smells and all of the dust from a room while being very quiet. Additionally, if I want to add a smell I have an essential oil diffuser that I also use as a mini humidifier in the winter when the air dries out. At my desk I keep a small container of coffee beans that I can smell ever so slightly while I work. I don’t drink coffee but I like the smell and a small container of bulk beans I saved from getting trashed is a nice little touch. 

In terms of bigger feelings of pressure and motion I have two things to recommend. First, hammocks. Oh my titan are they wonderful, the motion, the cocooning, the pressure. A cheap hammock from the internet and a set of straps is great. I actually have one hammock that stays under my loft bed and one that is a double size (so it can wrap around me more) that I take out to set up around campus or in the woods. 

Weighted blankets are the other big thing. Going to sleep with them is so much easier. There is just some switch in my brain that flips and suddenly I can chill out and get to sleep it makes my life so much easier and more comfortable. The recommendation is 10% of your body weight but because that isn’t directly all on me and is also around me I have slightly more than that. As long as you can comfortably move it if you try I think it is fine. They are wonderful to sleep with but also just to curl up under when everything feels a little too intense. 

#autism #sensory aid #self care #advice #autism advice #mental health

[taylorrama]

The Locked Tomb + mewithoutYou pt. 6/17

Heard you call for me Saw you die for me Only you'd burn for me If only you'd come for me

Song: Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt Album: A->B Life

This is the chillest song on the album (until it explodes, that is) and one of the most ambient. We have this slow groove, and in the background are distant vocals that are hard to discern while listening. This is an intentional effect, though, and there's a lot we can glean from hearing a voice buried beneath other sound and only barely being able to distinguish what's said. For TLT purposes, this lines up with the Lyctor experience (I feel I'm repeating myself so much by drawing comparisons between these songs and lyctors, but that's what happens when you have two pieces of art that portray a blending of spiritual experiences with relationships).

To briefly address the song title, yes, it's the Kurt Vonnegut reference that eventually became a meme here on Tumblr dot com. I've read Slaughterhouse Five once and so I recognize this and other Vonnegut references in mwY songs. However, other who are much more into his work than I am have done a better job analyzing these references. My understanding is that this saying, "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt" is a sort of sarcastic mockery of those who believe that there was, is, or ever could be a time when death and suffering don't exist. I don't think we need to reach too far to see how this same idea is present in The Locked Tomb. The closest anyone comes to unironically embodying this phrase is Nona, until she remembers who she is, so the real meaning is proven true.

Going back to the song, I'm not even sure that the liner notes capture what this voice in the beginning actually says, but it does sound something like this:

Heard you call for me Saw you die for me Only you'd burn for me If only you'd come for me

Griddlehark. Campal. The third line is especially Campal.

These lines repeat and then the music starts to shift into a more sinister sound. We at last get the softly spoken phrase:

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt

Immediately, there's a raw scream and the rest of the song is directly quoting a John Dunne poem called "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" in this desperate, screaming vocal style.

"As we melt let's make no noise Oh the profanation of our love To tell the world our passing joys! And we, besides, care less to miss Our eyes and lips and hands." (but honey, I'm not who you think I am!) (I'm not who you think I am! I'm not who you think I am!)

The portions in quotes are from Dunne. I also haven't read or thought about Dunne enough to make my own interpretive conclusions, but using Dunne as applied to this song and then again applied to The Locked Tomb, we get some interesting images. This idea of two lovers or souls melting together to become one substance at the expense of any tangible form they once inhabited is...literally Lyctorhood.

The last two lines in parentheses could have a lot of applications. Jod. Nona. Harrow. Lots of characters have something in their arcs or something in their sense of self that would lead them to acknowledge a difference between the self they know and the self everyone else knows. And they may go beyond acknowledging this into hating it, so the vocalization of these lines in this song would fit that emotion.

"And so you'll be to me Who must obliquely run Thy firmness makes my circle just And makes me end where I begun" There's nothing wrong As I'll be somewhere singing all along No! Tell me, where have you gone, my love Where have you gone my love

Again, the quoted portions are from Dunne. I would go feral for the 7,584th time if circle imagery imagery became significant in The Locked Tomb in the same way that it is in mewithoutYou songs, but I don't see much there at the moment.

So, what's most interesting right now is the last two lines, "Where have you gone, my love?" This is repeated over and over, and is washed out by the music as the song reaches its end.

At the end of Gideon the Ninth, it's clear that Gideon dies, but there's also this transcendence and mystery about where her body actually goes. And we don't find out until the end of Nona the Ninth. So to me, this increasingly desperate and drowned out question matches this quest that some of the characters have of preserving their dead necromancer or cavalier across/through/somewhere to the left of life, death, and the River.

Musically, the end of the song sounds like drowning, perhaps in a River, and cuts off with this sound that's maybe like time traveling? What I'm saying is that if you were to sonically represent what being in the River is like, it'd probably be this song.

---

TLT + mewithoutYou pt. 1; TLT + mewithoutYou pt. 2; TLT + mewithoutYou pt. 3; TLT + mewithoutYou pt. 4; TLT + mewithoutYou pt. 5

#the locked tomb #the locked tomb spoilers #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #griddlehark #campal #mewithoutyou #kurt vonnegut #john dunne #Youtube

[dustedmagazine]

Locrian — New Catastrophism/Ghost Frontiers (Profound Lore)

Photo by Elena Volkova

Does it matter if Locrian is a metal band or not? Every genre down to the most minute subdivision has its grognards passionate about what’s in or excluded (and often, in making value judgments that arise thereof), but aside from them it’s unlikely many of us listen to music and then look up the precise stylistic delineation before deciding if we fuck with it. So, if the question is worth asking it’s not for gatekeeping purposes, but for what trying to fit the now-geographically dispersed Chicago trio into or out of the metal box tells us about their music and the way we hear it. And the appearance of New Catrosphism, their first record in seven years, and accompanying EP Ghost Frontiers is an especially good time to ask it, both because of that gap and because these two releases may be Locrian’s most grippingly abstract yet.

Of course, listening to New Catastrophism/Ghost Frontiers is also a good reminder that something can be abstract and powerfully visceral at the same time. As the opening drone scape of “Mortichnia” grumbles to life (especially on decent headphones), there’s a very active sense of presence, and a foreboding one. Locrian have long made the end of the world their subject; after several strong efforts as the duo of André Foisy and Terence Hannum, 2010’s J.G. Ballard homage The Crystal World saw Steven Hess complete the trio and resulted in the first of several works that feel less like art “about” the end than attempts to evoke the actual sound of it. 2022 has certainly been a year that makes one’s thoughts turn towards the apocalyptic, and after Locrian’s last records were the excellent albeit slightly more conventionally song-shaped efforts Return to Annihilation and Infinite Dissolution, the restless, hostile, primal noise on New Catastrophism’s four tracks is even more bracing. 

If the first 13 or so minutes of the album might have one reaching for more esoteric or novel descriptors (power ambient? blackened noise?), when Hess’s drums and Hannum’s blasted howl kick in partway through “The Glare Is Everywhere and Nowhere Our Shadow,” it’s pretty hard to avoid the m-word even though the sonic and emotional character of the track has shifted only slightly. Locrian aren’t the first to make a metal record with few if any riffs, here with some of the most notable guitar being a deceptively clean repeated figure pinging through the end of “Incomplete Map of Voids” and an acoustic that makes the closing “Cenotaph to the Final Glacier” darkly pastoral before it succumbs to first sawtooth-edged fuzz and then a gradual flurry of digitized percussion. It’s the kind of thing that makes hard and fast rules for genre beyond “I know it when I hear it” feel vaguely silly. Ultimately what category you stick Locrian in doesn’t make their work better or worse (and certainly the band doesn’t seem that fussed), but if anything with the kind of one-way-tension-ratchet climax that “The Glare…” boasts doesn’t fit into the category of “metal,” our definitions may be too rigid. 

The 30-minute Ghost Frontiers EP included as a download with the vinyl release of New Catastrophism pushes the question even further. Two massive slabs of cycling, even more totalizing drone that can feel endless while the listener is in the midst of it, they’re packing even fewer typical genre referents than the album. And yet with a kind of negative grandiosity, by virtue of perhaps showing the aftermath of the breakdown New Catastrophism so stunningly depicts, the two tracks here might be even more harrowing. Whatever you want to call what Locrian does, both of these releases demonstrate aptly how well suited they are to the feeling of our current days, and how good it is to have them back. 

Ian Mathers

#locrian #new catastrophism #ghost frontiers #profound lore #ian mathers #albumreview #dusted magazine #black metal #drone #post metal #ambient #dystopia

[kiss-your-eclipse]

Hello, this is KittyAnn from AO3. 👋I came here to chat more about Episode 6. For me, episode 6 was such a rollercoaster. In addition to the “will they, won’t they” almost-kiss scenes and sizzling romantic/sexual tension between Akk and Ayan, Eclipsers were also pulled headfirst into the raw emotional pain of Akk and Ayan. We saw the characters at their absolute most vulnerable, especially Akk. When I watched Ayan comforting the near-panicking Akk, I wondered if he was feeling parallels between Akk and his uncle. He couldn’t save his uncle, and so he desperately wanted to save Akk. Anyways, after finishing episode 6, I rewatched episode 4&5 and was surprised at how so these earlier moments hit differently now that I knew what thoughts were running through Akk’s mind in each scene. Please share any interpretations or observations you have about this milestone episode.

omg hi!! sorry i'm so late answering this ask, this week has been insanely busy for me ㅠㅠ

episode 6 was absolutely INSANE in terms of all the new knowledge we now have to reckon with and tbh I'm still processing everything

When I watched Ayan comforting the near-panicking Akk, I wondered if he was feeling parallels between Akk and his uncle. He couldn’t save his uncle, and so he desperately wanted to save Akk.

THIS!!!! YES EXACTLY!!!! this is exactly what i thought when i watched it too!!! the devastation on ayan's face as akk described all of the weight he shoulders each and every day as head prefect, even if it means potentially injuring his classmates.... god, I'll never get over that. i rlly believe ayan was seeing his uncle's silent struggles in akk's confession and realizing just how fucked suppalo is and how it can twist even the best people into shadows of themselves :(

knowing that ayan knew—the entire time—that akk was behind the curse was like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me, i feel like i need to go back and rewatch the whole series now and reexamine all of their interactions omfg

smth about that that's actually rlly funny tho, is the fact that ayan saw akk—the boy he saw nearly send a car careening into the jums—running after him and what does he do??? fucking flashes him and then threatens him w a hand all the way up his gd thigh!! i canNOT w this boy 😭😭

their game of cat and mouse becomes this huge monster that u don't even realize was lurking just around the corner now that we know it wasn't only that ayan and akk just didn't get along, but that ayan could have very well gotten akk in some serious trouble (if not w chadok, who most definitely put him up to it, than w the rest of the school) if he wanted to

also: in terms of other episode 6 scenes, i'd be remiss to not mention the kiss 🥲 i can't tell u how many times I've rewatched it bc it's just absolute perfection. something that rlly interests me about that scene is that there's virtually no sound at all. there's no soundtrack, no ambient noise/room tone... just akk and ayan, and i think that makes the scene all that more tender and intimate bc there's no sound to hinder any of the experience

ty for ur ask! i hope i hear more from u :))

#asking me about my current obsession is the fastest way into my heart #kittyann i could talk about this show for HOURS #also! hope u enjoy the new chapter of 'only faint marks remember you'

[thepermanentrainpress]

BABY JEY: CROP CIRCLES

Crop Circles – Baby Jey Release Date: November 24th, 2023

Track Listing:

1. Intro 2. Little Trouble 3. What's The Point of Saying Sorry 4. Good & Bad News 5. Swing Like This 6. You're In Yr Mind 7. Interlude I 8. Crop Circle 9. I Can't Just Stop 10. …1 More Day …1 More Night 11. Bad Routine 12. Why U Asking Now 13. Happy For Me 14. Interlude II 15. I'll Wait

This is the second full-length album release from Baby Jey, an indie-pop group based in Edmonton. This is an album to zone out to, with sounds that are ambient, complex, and fittingly to the themes, otherworldly. It is almost dream-like in the melody; an ethereal and hazy mix. It’s somehow mellow yet also upbeat – you can hear this as chill background noise, or really get into the production and careful assembly. The mixing and time measures are considered with care and far more complicated than many albums, leading to an interesting and unique result.

Crop Circles is almost a concept album that echoes an unlikely combination. There are Alberta tropes – cowboys and farms – alongside aliens and UFOs. It’s a fun concept, also fusing in emotions and personal experiences that speak from the heart. Many of the themes are less about extraterrestrials and more about winter, memories, lost love, and dwelling on the past. But the space influence can’t be denied in the music and in the radio clips sampled. 

Several interludes are sprinkled through — a feature I enjoyed and would love to see on more albums of this genre. These are actual radio broadcasts alluding to UFO investigations and the titular crop circles found in Alberta back in the 80s. It adds to the old-timey element: many of these songs, especially the instrumental parts, sound timeless. It has a modern sound echoing Tame Impala or MGMT, but some of these riffs echo songs from the 80s, or even back to the 50s. The era and style is ambiguous. I don’t know if that was intentional, but it adds to the distinct and ambitious vibe here. 

Despite the cosmic, futuristic blend, there’s a lot of earthiness and old-fashioned sounds in this record. It mixes country and folk music with synthesizers and drum machines. Overall it is loud – every song is booming with prominent rhythms and beats that really pop.

“Swing Like This” is very catchy and will be in your head long after it finishes. Every song here is fun and dance-worthy, but this one stands out. Even the lyrics are all about dancing — twisting your hips, “swing so mesmerizing, left foot to right.” This is perhaps the most traditional 'rock' song here – a little less cosmic than the others. It’s just a merry good time. 

“I Can’t Just Stop” is a highlight of the album. It is a song full of anguish, clearly expressed in the vocals of singer Jeremy Witten. It tells the story of a dark and cold weather and the aftermath of a relationship. More intimately, the namesake refers to how the singer can’t just move on (“my love is not a switch that I can just turn off”). It’s a heartbreaking track, with the backing riffs featuring minor chord sounds that beep in sadness. Paradoxically, it’s also very upbeat for most of its runtime. The great saxophone solo that it finishes on is jolly – as the sax tends to be – yet still captures that lingering emotion of regret. 

Crop Circles is a ride through space, time, and the inner mind. I’ve not heard something like this in a long time, and found myself immersed in this strange yet captivating fusion. This is an impressive and heartfelt release. It was my intro to Baby Jey – but you can definitely consider me a fan now!

Written by: Cazzy Lewchuk

#Auteur Research #PRalbum #Music #album review #Review #Cazzy #Cazzy Lewchuk #Baby Jey #Crop Circles #Alberta #Edmonton #Edmonton Music #Alberta Music #Canadian Music #yeg #Jeremy Witten #indie pop #Dean Kheroufi #Swing Like This #I Can't Just Stop #music review

[abhishekyng23]

Which is better, wireless earbuds or wireless headphones?

Whatever depends. The optimal device for playing your music depends on the situations you'll be in and your tastes. Both earbuds and headphones have advantages and disadvantages. First, let's talk about headphones.

You wear headphones over your outer ears. Supra-aural variants completely enclose, but do not completely seal, your ear surfaces. The circumaural or over-the-ear styles completely encompass each ear (think of the ear coverings worn by those who work on airstrips, or inside noisy factories). The main benefit of headphones is their excellent sound quality, particularly when it comes to recording bass tones. Additionally, they are excellent at eliminating ambient noise, which includes constant background noises like street traffic.

However, wireless headphones aren't flawless. You seldom see individuals wearing them while running or going for a stroll in the city since they are cumbersome and not very portable. When you use headphones for a time, especially when working out, they can also become hot and sticky. Additionally, larger headphones will smudge your hair more. They may also obstruct the use of spectacles and jewelry.

True Wireless earbuds are Bluetooth earphones that do not require a chord or wire to connect to the device or to communicate with one another. These are genuinely wireless since they have separate batteries, controllers, and wireless communication between the pair. This implies that you may use them for jogging or enjoy them when riding a bicycle while wearing a helmet.

Although most earbuds are designed to be placed into your ear canal, they may also be worn on your outer ear. Earbuds are often less costly, lighter, and more compact than headphones. As a result of its portability, you frequently encounter people with wires protruding from their ears at cafés, on the streets, and at work. Earbuds have no impact on your hairdo, the way you wear glasses or jewelry because they just rest in your ear canals. Unfortunately, earbuds produce poor sound quality, particularly in the bass range. Additionally, because they aren't particularly effective at blocking out outside noise, people who wear earbuds frequently turn up the level of their music, which might damage their hearing.

Others just can't use earphones because they keep falling out of their ears, while still others discover that earbuds damage their ear canals.

Final verdict: Headphones are your best option if you want to appreciate high-quality sound, and actually, all the sounds in a piece of music. They're excellent for listening to music at home as well. However, due to their mobility and minimal weight, earbuds are definitely preferable whether you're exercising at the gym or traveling.

Ekko is the first cult audio wearable brand in India, offering a selection of high-quality and reasonably priced headphones, earbuds, neckbands, and other accessories. There has been a significant decline in consumer listening health as a result of the market being overrun by players selling audio wearable of all different qualities. Ekko has purposefully created audio equipment for a variety of demands and complaints; some people desire sound-proof listening, while others require a very small listening gadget. With Ekko's audio selection of True Wireless Stereo, Headphones, Neckbands, & more, there is a choice for everyone. Ekko, who is purely Indian by passion, has the idea to reach out to music lovers looking for audio wearable for immersive listening.

#wireless headphones #True Wireless earbuds #ekko digital

[mercuryislove]

not to reveal too much about myself but when I'm stressed I like to watch videos of people trimming horse's hooves

#it is. so soothing #especially if it's the actual sound and you can hear the ambient noises of the barn #i also love chinese teapot videos #the one where the guy makes a really tiny snail to go on the pumpkin shaped teapot??? moved me to tears the first time i saw it

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

[howtofightwrite]

How Distance Affects the Sound of a Gunshot

I live near a military base and a wood, and I regularly hear both the training of the soldiers and shooting from hunters. So is it reasonable to assume one would hear a hunting rifle shot from about a distance of 100/200m when inside a house? A friend of mine says no, claiming shots aren‘t that loud and wouldn‘t be overheard. I think otherwise, but perhaps I overimagine?

So, this is actually a shockingly complex topic, and I’ll try to keep it somewhat simple, but there are a lot of factors that seriously skew these numbers.

If there was no environment, and just natural atmospheric fall off, 200m from a high power rifle going off would still potentially be loud enough to cause pain. And you could still hear the rifle going off at a kilometer, at roughly the volume of a conversation. (It works out to around ~40 decibels, so, audible but not especially loud.)

The only time you’re likely to encounter something like this is if a shooter is firing out over a valley. (Worth noting is that atmospheric humidity will heavily affect sound propagation. If I remember correctly, low humidity will reduce sound propagation, while high humidity will increase it. However, I don’t know exactly how much this affects, and I could be remembering this backwards.) However, the valley example is somewhat artificial, because in any real space, the valley’s terrain will affect propagation.

Related to this, sound transmits very well across hard surfaces. So if you’re in an urban environment, sound will echo off the buildings, down the roads, and it will travel farther (or, more accurately, it will retain volume over longer distances.) This is also true for sound traveling across bodies of water. It will be easier to hear a rifle being fired from across a lake, than within a dense forest, closer to the shooter. In fact, using the example above, that rifle shot would still be ~85 decibels after a kilometer over open water.

Then there is the inverse, foliage, and even just grassy meadows will dramatically reduce the propagation of sound. A properly constructed outside range can make use of earthen berms. On their own, these will significantly reduce the perceived volume of a gunshot. Just breaking line of sight between the gunshot and the listener will significantly reduce the sound transmitted to them. So, with grassy berms shielding an outside range, you could easily drop that 127dB rifle shot down to ~85dB at 200m. Add some dense trees around the range, and might be able to drop it low enough that it would be extremely hard to hear over ambient noise in a residential dwelling at those ranges.

I’m not sure exactly how much noise absorption you’re getting from the woods, but it would not surprise me if you can hear hunters taking shots. Especially if the terrain is (mostly) flat, and you have an effective line of sight on the shooters (even if you can’t actually see them.) Similarly, if you have windows open, that’s not going to mitigate the sound of a gunshot.

As for the military range, it’s entirely possible you can hear that as well, depending on how the range is constructed, and the exact terrain between you and them. If they’re on the other side of a river, you could absolutely hear that over the water.

That said, it sounds, from your description, like the shots are fairly quiet (under 40dB), which, yeah, that’s absolutely plausible at those ranges.

-Starke

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How Distance Affects the Sound of a Gunshot was originally published on How to Fight Write.

#fightwrite answers #firearms #Starke answers #writing advice #writing reference #writing tips

[monodipita]

ANGEL (Yandere!Angel x Reader)

Words: 1,930

Warning: Yandere content

A/N: This is one of the tamest yandere pieces I've wrote, I think. I hope you enjoy it.

Silence was only broken by the ambient noise that played on the TV and the soft whimpers of someone's voice, otherwise, the air was incredibly still in this apartment.

He stood above them. This poor person who was at the complete and utter mercy of Angel, whose touch could kill anyone if they touched long enough. His deep brown eyes lingered on their body while his hands hovered inches off of their face. Tears rolled down the person's face while they were forced to stare up at him.

"I'm going to ask again. You've already lost about a year of your life with your uneventful answers," Angel spoke. "Please, I've told you again and again, I don't know where [Y/N] is!" The feminine voice cried out quickly after Angel's statement. "But you do," Angel retorted, "[Y/N] has been seen in this apartment complex four times. That means walking by this door four times. Four encounters."

He was trying to piece together something, but you couldn't quite tell what it was. You hovered nearby for the sake of trying to find out what his game plan was, but at the expense of (almost) making your presence known... it wasn't easy getting into this apartment after Angel stepped in, but you wormed in and made yourself comfortable out of sight. You could only pray that he didn't see you, or hear you.

But there was something about all of this that you couldn't quite wrap your head around. Was he trying to figure out if you lived here? Because you didn't. No, your mentor lived here... and it was just normal for you to visit her when you had the time to, outside of work.

"I-I-I don't know..." the voice sobbed, "I have a family! Please don't keep doing this to me!"

It was sickening. Angel was repeatedly threatening this person's life by... touching her. No one could underestimate the power of his hands touching a mere human... even a simple grab of the hand could cost you two months. You could only bitterly imagine what it must've been like to be caressed by him. What it was like to have his face cup your hands. How much of your life would he take away then? You couldn't answer that question clearly, but the person he was interrogating, could.

"No, no no no, PLEASE!" She yelled, before a loud scream erupted from her lips while Angel's hands touched her face. Seconds pass, every one of them feeling like a grueling eternity that made your stomach churn. It was a total of ten seconds before Angel removed his hands. "You're in luck! I only took about a month away. We're nearing that threshold, though, and that can be scary ... so I would start talking now. So, I will ask this question again, Miss. Please answer it to the best of your ability."

He was growing too impatient to keep pestering this person, you could tell. Angel was lazy, and though he surprised you with the amount of effort he put into doing all of this, you knew he couldn't keep it up for long. Especially when it was reaching dead ends like it was now. Angel cleared his throat, "you may be aware of a person named [Y/N] [L/N] that comes into this apartment complex every Tuesday and Thursday around the same time in the afternoons. I know you see [Y/N] because you're a stay-at-home wife. So, I am asking you again. It's... early in the evening," he checked his watch before looking back down at the person. "And [Y/N] wasn't here today. Did something happen."

There was more silence to be followed before the person began to sob again... wail, really. It was distressing to hear. To know that someone was dying because of you really didn't sit well on your mind, or on your stomach.

"This will all be over soon. You've told me all I need to know." Angel's eyes hooded.

"N-n-no, please," the helpless voice uttered over Angel's, "I-I want to live! Please! I don't even know who [Y/N] [L/N] is!! PLEASE, NO!-" Their cries were ... blended, almost. If anyone could make aging be heard, it was Angel, while he took someone's life through simply touching their skin. You still couldn't quite wrap your head around that fact.

You stifled a cry and clamped your hand over your mouth to silence yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. Why? Why would he do this? What did this person do to deserve the touch of death? For just living here, was that it?

A yawn characteristically came from Angel's mouth before he stepped over the person's body, tucking his hands in his pockets as he stopped at the door. He stood there for a moment before he he turned his head, beautiful locks tumbling down his back as he looked around with narrowed eyes. You did your best to stay quiet in the corner you were in, you didn't want to draw attention to yourself and risk him knowing that you were here.

The longer he stayed at the door though, the more you found yourself beginning to question why you were even here in the first place... but you knew why. He was acting strange. He had been acting strange ever since that little date the two of you went on.

Ice cream. It wasn't a very romantic setting and it was actually one he and Aki Hayakawa frequented quite often, but something about this particular day happened to set him off. You treated him to something nice after he proved to be helpful against a devil you couldn't get close to—so it was just the two of you this time, Aki was nowhere in sight. A lot of the time you two spent together at that time was spent toward speaking about things, such as the ice cream you ate, how he saved your life, and how you were thankful that he helped you out.

Angel wanted to know so much about you after that—and was clingy, moreso than what you would've expected from someone like him, who seemed like he couldn't have gave a damn whether someone lived or died, as long as he wasn't bothered. In the days, maybe even weeks after leading up to now, he never really left you alone until you broke off from him to go home for the day. The days you went to visit your mentor, you linked up with him shortly after leaving the apartment complex, some ways away from it. You didn't quite think of it like you were thinking about it now, but looking back on it, there were clearly some things that were wrong here. How did he find out that you were coming to this apartment complex? Was he following you?

"I thought I heard something other than that woman when I walked inside."

"Gah!" You squeaked in fear, making your body jolt as your arm covered your face in self-defense. Angel found you, he finally found you. "F-fuck!"

"What are you doing here, [Y/N]?" He asked, "are you here to talk to whoever you're talking to?"

"W-why does that matter?" You stammer, as you find the courage to finally remove your arm from your face to look up at him. Why, he looked mental. His eyes looked like beads against his white sclera. What a terrifying expression to come back to—it made your heart leap into your throat. "I didn't feel like visiting my mentor today."

"Oh. Your mentor."

Silence between the two of you begins to pick up after that. Your heart felt like it was going to explode with how fast it was beating. So many questions had to be asked, but how could you ask them? You didn't even know what to say right now.

"Want to go get some ice cream?" He asked, as if everything that happened didn't just happen. You swallowed thickly at the question asked and looked around nervously. Did you beat around the bush? Agree, and act like nothing happened in this room? Or did you face the fact that what Angel did was unforgivable?

Another gap of silence.

"Angel, you just killed an innocent human being for no reason," you stated the obvious. Your brows furrowed and you stared at him. "Do you have any idea what this means?"

"Mm, no," Angel shook his head, "I'm sure I don't really care, either." He then pointed to the door. "Do you want to get ice cream with me, [Y/N]?"

"A-angel!" You pressed him with your words. "You... you killed an innocent human being!"

"...why do I care?" He gave you a blank stare. "I was doing her a favor. Now, do you want to get ice cream with me?" He extended his free hand in the direction of your body. "I know you're going home soon, since this is your day off."

You stared at him, horrified by the lack of humanity within him. Well, he was a devil... so of course he didn't have any shred of humanity, but still, didn't he feel even an ounce of remorse over what he just did? None at all? "Y-you killed her because of me," you reiterated in a more... significant light. "Why?"

"Because I didn't see you come into the building today, so I went around asking," he responded and sighed before he shoved his hands into his pockets. He would know better than to touch someone he cared for if he didn't want them to die. "She was mean to me, so she suffered the consequences."

Those words worried you. "What do you mean you went around and asked?" You narrowed your eyes. "Did you..."

"Only to those who were rude." Angel calmly stated, "not a lot of them were even subjected to what this woman went through. But I know she saw you... she saw you every time you came up on this floor. I know she did. She proceeded to lie about it, and for lying, she had to be killed." He tilted his head. "Have I answered your questions enough? Can we go get ice cream now?"

So many people had their lives threatened because of you. That was a tough pill to swallow, wasn't it?

The sound of the door opening made your heart beat quicken again. Your eyes shot to the door to see him standing in the doorway with his eyes still on you. "Come on. I want to go get ice cream."

"...why... why did you do it?" You weakly asked him as you stumbled forward to meet him. "Why would you subject all of these people to torture? A-and for... for me..?" It just didn't sound right.

"It may not be a lot, but it's honest work. I try my best to keep you safe. I have to know where you are at all times to do that though, right?" Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Think of me as your guardian angel, maybe that'll make the pill easier to swallow. ...so, can we go get ice cream?"

"N-no," you gently push him out of the way so that you can leave the building. "We won't be doing anything of the sort. I'm going to go to the hunter's association and ask to be reassigned to another devil."

Angel stumbled back, but was quick to grab your arm.

"Not if you want to live, you won't." He narrowed his eyes. "We're together now. If I can't have you, no one else can."

#chainsaw man #csm angel #angel devil #angel chainsaw man #angel x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #reader insert #gender neutral insert

[writingsfromstarfleet]

Cristóbal Rios - Stay

♫ - The Draw - Bastille 

A/N: This is for @too-many-baes and @fandomlover2091​ who both said they’d love to see more Rios. So, here he is! Iloved him so much and I had fun writing this, I hope you all enjoy! Hugs! - Mal ♡

Life aboard the La Sirena was peaceful, for the most part. You traversed galaxies, flew from planet to planet, and just generally existing. You couldn't really have asked for more. You shared this experience with her captain, Cristóbal Rios.

A word on the aforementioned captain. The two of you had met at a small colony outpost almost three years ago, and quickly became close in that time. A rare feat in itself. Rios was not one for being very open or talkative, but something about you told him that maybe this once, he would give it a shot. A former Federation commander, he had become disillusioned with Starfleet after orders to kill two beings he had picked up in the Vayt sector and also watching his captain die. Since then, he was a rogue.

Of course, none of this you had learned from the man himself. Instead, you found little bits of information and scattered facts from his holograms aboard the ship, particularly the Emergency Medical Hologram and the Emergency Navigational Hologram, named Emil and Enoch respectively. You liked Chris, as he had told you to call him, for his honest outlook on life. Albeit a little dismal at times, perhaps, but all in all it was often what you needed to hear.

Some nights were rougher than others, and often he would be found awake and wandering the various rooms of his ship, mostly without intent. He didn't sleepwalk, more he couldn't sleep and needed a distraction. One of his favourite places to frequent at times like this was his small office. Office was the wrong word, maybe, but it was a tiny room, a seat in the far corner and various shelves adorned with physical books he had collected over time and different footballs he had acquired too. This was where you had found him on this occasion.

Before you even got a chance to fully enter the room, Chris spoke softly, not looking up from his book.

"You should go back to your room, it's late."

The air remained silent for a while, you taking the time to look at him as he sat there. At the best of times, he was handsome, you couldn't deny that and you would be a fool to do so. But, there was something about the way he was now, sat in the dim light of the room that lit up his features with such grace, that you let your eyes linger a little longer.

"I could say the same about you," you chuckled, stepping fully into the small space. "But as always, my protests will fall on deaf ears, won't they?"

He looked up and smiled. "Quite right they will."

You walked to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Actions like these weren't new, nor were they rare, but they held such meaning and you both felt the emotion behind every one. Your voice was low when you spoke, not wanting to void the calm ambiance surrounding you.

"What are you reading this time?"

"Fear and Trembling, by  Søren Kierkegaard."

"One of your favourites..." you trailed off as he glanced up at you, eyebrows raised in shock because he knew he had never told you that.

"How did you?..."

"Enoch." Chris laughed knowingly as you finished his query for him, clearly having anticipated you naming one of his holograms.

"I knew I programmed them with too many conversational subroutines."

"It's amazing what a little synthohol can do for an Irishman."

Your joint laughter subsided and the room went back to being calm once more. You looked at Chris a little more whilst he read, studying his face as though you had a report due on it the next day. He looked relaxed, but not quite. There was something about him that was off.

"You aren't actually reading that, are you?" Your statement was not a question, and he closed the book. Leaving the conversation there for a second, he simply stared in front of him before looking up at you again.

"No, I'm not."

One of your hands took the book from his own whilst the other ran itself through his hair. He took your free hand in his.

"What's wrong, Chris?"

"I don't really know, it's just one of those nights, you know? When you're reminiscing about the past but it's not the good parts. I'm sure it will pass. "

You looked at him sympathetically. You didn't let it show in your voice or your face, knowing he didn't like that, but you felt it in your heart. You knew Chris struggled with his mind, especially after everything he had been through, and when he was alone it was at its worst. He had never told you, but you kept the negativity that flooded him at bay, without ever realising it. Just seeing you go about your day around the ship, or watching you fascinated by a market on some planet. Whatever the matter, you kept him grounded, and he felt safe.

Just as you didn't know how much you meant to him, neither did he to you. Chris wasn't aware that he had helped you through some of the darkest moments and roughest patches of your life. How his sardonic jokes and sarcastic nature was enough to cheer you up. How simply being around him was enough to push any bad feelings away. He didn't have to do much to have such an effect, and perhaps one day you would tell him how much he meant to you. But not now.

Now, you placed your hand on his cheek and leaned down, a chaste kiss against his forehead.

"Is there anything I can do?" Your inquiry was met with him pulling you towards him slightly, leaving you a gap to decline his pending offer.

"Stay?"

His voice sounded a little lost, far gone from the usual confident air he had about him. This was the Rios nobody got to see, the one he kept behind closed doors. This was Chris.

"Always."

You climbed onto the chair with him, and though it was made for one, you managed. Legs intertwined, Chris wrapped one arm around your shoulders and one held your head close to him. Your arms wrapped around his waist as you snuggled closer to him. That was where you stayed, encased in the ambient noise of the La Sirena's engine until morning came. In that moment was when you decided with no doubt; this was where you belonged.

#star trek #star trek imagine #star trek x reader #star trek picard #picard #star trek pic #pic #cristobal rios #cristobal rios x reader #cristobal rios imagine #x reader #imagine