#especially siding w/ the jutuls from time to time

[oneshortdamnfuse]

People wonder why Laurits isn't loyal to anyone when his entire life experience has been:

1. Dad dies when he's ~4. Only memory of him is a photograph where his older brother is lovingly held by his dad, while he is off to the side. Idealizes his dad in his head his whole life. Feels inadequate compared to him. Finds out his dad wasn't his real dad.

2. Tries to bond with real dad. Realizes real dad is using him to get to his older brother. Older brother uses him to get to his real dad. Genuinely cares about them both. Real dad gives him attention and material things, but ultimately plans to kill him. Older brother kills real dad to save him, but he doesn't realize this fully until his step mom tells him what they were planning to do to him.

3. Mother focuses the majority of her attention on older brother, who she babies in an ableist way. Laurits grows up mostly taking care of himself. She doesn't pick up on his substance abuse. She doesn't pick up on his depression or binge eating either, even though she experiences the same things. She just says there's something wrong with him and he needs to take himself to the doctor. When he's hospitalized, she tells his older brother to first get out of the room and then makes them leave without even letting him see Laurits. So, again, he's left alone.

4. Step mother absolutely hates him. Tries to kill him multiple times. Calls him a bastard and a thing, not a person. Confesses that his real dad had been planning to kill him when he was at his most vulnerable.

5. Older brother wants him to be a part of his plan to fight corruption in the town, but Laurits has to choose between the attention he's finally getting from a parental figure and helping his older brother. He helps him anyways, but he's not trusted and his older brother tries to dictate to him what he can and can't do. His older brother also lies to him which directly results in Laurits nearly being beaten to death.

6. Wotan/Odin outright rejects him when he offers to help, calling him a traitor. Nevermind that literally how everyone treats him makes it impossible for him to be loyal to anyone. It's not in his nature. It is a result of his environment.

7. Step siblings are similarly using him to get to his older brother. He initially tries to be friends with them, but they don't have any interest in his well being.

8. He's queer, and he's unable to find anyone who actually cares about him romantically either. He is first interested in Fjor, but he's not gay. He's interested in Jens, but he's too old for him. Still, Jens gives him some attention just to be nice and friendly and then Laurits is crushed when Jens falls for someone else. There's pretty much no one else in town who hangs out with him just to hang out with him other than Oscar.

Not to be dramatic, but I wouldn't be loyal to anyone under these conditions because no one has really proven that they have any interest in his life or in his continued existence. So... It really doesn't matter to him what is right and what is wrong because on every side of this he loses. Self preservation is his go to because he perceives that it's his only option.

#laurits seier #ragnarok netflix #long post cw #meta #i guess #like i get the criticism #of his actions #especially siding w/ the jutuls from time to time #especially fucking off at the protest #to try to win back his dad's affection #but all of this stems from the same problem #and i don't think it's selfish for people to care about themselves #when no one cares about them #that's just survival