#especially the part starting at 2:18 like the choreography!!

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Man-sized Part 1/9 Dance For You

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!OC Tags: Explicit content, only for +18 audiences. Smut, romantic angst, fluff. An unapologetic LOVE STORY. Sexual tension, mutual pining, banter, flirting, developing relationship, strangers to lovers. Simon Riley has a dark past (partly inspired by Modern Warfare 2: Ghost comics). CW/TW: References to PTSD, depression, past torture and abuse in later chapters. Summary: A uni student who pole dances at a strip club to pay her rent encounters a mysterious giant of a soldier seemingly incapable of falling in love.

He was always there, every night for a week, and then disappeared for months.

He was there a few moments before she began her show, and left right after it ended. He never watched the other girls, the ones who she only warmed up for, the ones who actually stripped and were professionals. He never had a lap dance, a private show, nothing. He just ordered one scotch, watched her little pole dance show, and left.

She used to pick someone from the audience, just one single guy who looked more or less harmless. She was performing to that one guy only — it was more comfortable that way. She could concentrate better, and it was easier to try and be seductive. To be in control.

But he wasn't harmless. And she wasn't in control.

But ever since he started to visit the place, she always picked him, and it required no effort whatsoever to appear seductive. She was wet after every show she performed for him.

When she danced for him, she could feel his gaze on her, as goosebumps and flames that licked her skin. He didn't look at her like she was a goddess. Or a whore. He looked at her like she was a woman, like she was his woman, and they were the only ones in that club. She knew she was being nonsensical — after all, he was just another guy who came to watch an exotic dancer.

But she wasn't one of the stars, she didn't even strip.

At some point, she realized she started to do choreographies just for him. She started to check the calendar, count the days, because he was usually gone only a month, maybe one and a half. Then he came back, every night, for a week or so. She could see that he liked it when she did inversions and shoulder mounts on the pole. Perhaps he could tell that it demanded a huge amount of strength. She liked it that someone admired that — her strength and agility, not her outfit, not even the way she arched her back or threw her hair around.

He was looking at her like she was an artist and an athlete.

She could tell he was an athlete too, but what kind, remained a mystery. He was a big fellow, a muscled fellow, and she always tried to catch what it was that he had tattooed on his forearm.

In the darkness, his eyes were like burning coals, even if the rest of him was pale and blonde, almost like a color that was worn and washed out. He was the most tired, exhausted man she had ever seen, especially on the first nights of his week in town. But that didn't take away an ounce of his power. The whole club could've been full of big, dangerous-looking men, and he would've still been the most intriguing person in her eyes.

At some point, the heated gazes and the tension built up to such heights that she walked to the bar after her show. She rarely did that — she was here to dance and that was all. Get some money so she could study. Some of the girls liked to hustle, but she only wanted to go home after her show, which was draining, especially when he wasn't there to watch her.

She knew he was going to leave again soon. This was one of the last nights if she had her calculations right, if not the last. She already knew she would miss him and copy-paste his image to the audience every night until he would finally materialize on one of those chairs again.

She saw he saw her approaching him. He raised his chin, drew his shoulders back, and turned slightly on the chair, angled his body towards her. She slowed her walk as she reached him, enjoying the way he was forced to look up at her from where he was sitting.

"Are you gonna buy me a drink?"

A smile rose to his face, just a tiny one, one that didn't even bare teeth. It was simply an acknowledgment.

He rose from the chair, took his coat, and left.

---

The next time she saw him was only half a month later.

She climbed the pole, and he watched, had that tiny smile playing in the corner of his lips through the whole show. Her choreography had started to resemble something she would've chosen to perform in a pole dance competition rather than in this kind of place. She had ditched the heels, and danced like she was both Tarzan and Jane; flexible, strong as fuck, showing off what she could do with just one stiff vertical object. He didn't look as tired as before, and when she came to the bar like a bitch in heat, sniffing around a strong, virile male, she saw he had two drinks in front of him.

Perhaps she was making a fool of herself… But she walked toward him again, almost walked past him, then got stopped by an outstretched hand that held a Long Island iced tea.

"Took your time," she said as she grabbed the offered drink.

The man didn't answer. Her heart was thumping faster than when she was exerting herself up on that pole, now occupied by the first true star of the evening.

"May I sit?"

He nodded, and she could feel her palms get sweaty. She didn't usually do this kind of stuff... but when she did, it certainly did not go like this. Like she was the one trying to woo the man.

"So, what do you do?"

He still didn't say a word, and she was beginning to think that the man was actually a mute.

"Are you a professional boxer?"

Finally, a chuckle came. Dark, and husky...

"No."

He had a hoarse, gravelly voice, a voice she could listen to for forever if he only would speak.

"MMA?"

A shake of the head. She peeked at the forearm placed on the table between their drinks, and she saw the inked skull, a helmet, some kind of a bomb…

"You in the army?"

"Somethin' like that."

She barely caught the Manchester accent. Shit… This man was just… He was sexy as hell. Probably picked up ladies like berries wherever he went. She took a sip of that Long Island — why would he buy her a drink with so much hard alcohol in it? It was a bit suspicious. She hadn't seen him buy it, hadn't seen if he had put something in it…

"Oh, I get it. You're James Bond."

He was amused, but something in his eyes told her that she had hit a bit too close to home this time.

"What's your name?"

She was starting to get tired of listening to her own voice, tired of prying for information. But her heart rate spiked as she saw how his interest seemed to die immediately after her latest question. He looked away, his eyes swept the club, and she had a feeling that she had just played poker against an actual Bond and lost it all. Had been a good player until she blew it by asking his name.

"Simon." He rose, reached for his coat, and was leaving again…

"Are you gonna ask my name?"

Fuck, stop speaking.

"It was a nice talk, Sarah."

---

He came back the next day. This for sure was the last time she would see him before he vanished again. But it was impossible for her to go to the bar because she suddenly felt like she had to put on a whole other show after the pole dance performance.

A show of playing hard to get.

So after the lights on the stage died, she went straight to the backstage and got herself ready for a walk home.

"Sarah… there's some guy out there asking for you."

But the show worked. She took her stuff, glanced at the mirror to see that everything was like it should be, then went to get her shoes.

"You got a fan?"

She didn't answer, because it was suddenly hard to pay attention to anything else than the guy named Simon, the guy who had watched her dance for months and was now waiting for her at the back door, the one used by the staff.

A fucking spy, indeed..

"Just be careful, ok?"

"Yeah."

As if she needed a reminder that the brooding James Bond looked like death and danger.

"Hi."

He looked her up and down, didn't say hi back, but gave her a few dark red carnations.

"Oh. Thanks."

The fact that a guy like him was giving her flowers at the back door of a strip club shouldn't have affected her the way it did. Should definitely not make her weak in the knees like he was a high school crush asking her out. Well, he was good at what he did, she had to give him that. Perhaps not the most original move, but still… to her, original enough. She had never received flowers from anyone.

"How long are you stayin' here?" His voice was both smooth and rough, and she wondered if he was as stoic off his feet as he was on them.

"Actually, I was just leaving."

"I can walk you home."

Yet again, it shouldn't have been this way. She was accustomed to pulling the strings, calling out the shots. It wasn't that she didn't feel safe with him… It was just that she didn't feel in control. At all.

They had walked only a few blocks when he lit a cigarette. So much for not hooking up with smokers… And somehow that cancer stick managed to make this man even sexier. Manly.

It was stupid — he had all the traits of a modern cowboy, and she should feel repulsed, not hooked.

"So, how's the James Bond thing going?"

"It's tiring."

"Yeah, you look like you could use a good night's sleep."

Not what I had in mind for you tonight, but still…

He really was a man of few words, but she had a hunch that he wasn't shy. Perhaps Simon only spoke when he had something groundbreaking to say.

"Why do you watch my shows?"

He inhaled the smoke deep and long before giving his answer.

"You move well. Strong 'n' sharp, trained… Could be a fighter."

His compliments made her blush in the cool night air, but she wasn't surprised. He admired and respected toughness, just like she had suspected.

By the time they reached her apartment, she was almost shaking with excitement, and he had filled himself with that smoke.

What the hell… It couldn't taste that bad.

"You wanna come inside?"

The amber eyes looked at her with a flash of amusement instead of hunger.

"Sure."

He suddenly seized her, pinned her against her front door with his body, and kissed her. The flowers dropped to the ground as her hands shot out to clasp his neck; to feel the raw muscle there.

He didn't taste bad at all.

He could've taken her right then and there, in the middle of that sleepy, quiet, dark street, and she wouldn't have said no. Her last time with a man had been everything but mysterious and exciting, months and months ago, and Simon felt like a perfect match right now, a perfect, tall, dark stranger. He was just the kind of man she had always found nothing short of disgusting: an overconfident heartbreaker who couldn't commit.

But this evening was different. Her morals were deep asleep, and she was ovulating, and, well, it was a first time for everything…

He broke the kiss only to pant a question, his second ever, in her mouth.

"You accept credit or cash?"

The slap was way harder than she had meant it to be. Her palm lashed out in pure, hot rage; for having thought that a man like him was nothing but another chauvinistic jerk.

But what he'd implied wasn't even the worst thing. It was the laugh that followed her.

She heard it even after she had shut the door, brushed her teeth; after she climbed into her lonely bed to get some sleep. The tears that emerged were born of shame, not disappointment.

---

He came back after a month.

She knew she shouldn't go down there, to roam among the filth and give him the satisfaction and the mercy.

But those eyes drew her to him like a snare, beckoned her to have another round in the ring with him.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Come on, dove. Don't back away when it just got interesting."

He gave her a full smile this time. She had a feeling that this man didn't smile often, and that flash of pure, bold contentment charmed her right off her feet. Simon wasn't a mystery or a puzzle, he was a whole Rubik's cube.

"I could show you how to do a proper right hook instead of that bitch slap you gave me."

"Wasn't painful enough for you?"

He laughed, darkly, and it went straight between her legs.

"Slept on my right side for a week."

She found herself smiling against her will.

He had thought of her for an entire week when going to bed and was now back for more.

Fuck… The way he just spun her around his finger in mere minutes was despicable. She turned around to leave so that she would win at least one round, but that gruff, dark voice stopped her.

"It was a test. Apologies."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and turned.

"A test?"

"Yeah. A test." He downed his scotch, and she found herself thinking whether Simon had an addiction to the taste of smoke instead of tobacco per se.

"You got more tests for me?" She tried to appear mocking but only ended up sounding like she was asking for it, asking for more tests and humiliation and… whatever they called it these days. Toxic relationships.

"I was thinking about asking you out."

"We are out."

"Suit yourself."

That fucking accent… It was responsible for this, at least for the most part — that Manchester gruffness was why she was so wet and weak for him. As was the tattoo and his ominous strength, his height and that lone wolf mentality… But why the hell was he harassing her when he could get some pussy even more easily? Why stalk her for months and months and deliberately insult her just when he was about to get laid?

"You know... You're not the first guy who's tried this tactic. And I'm telling you now that it won't work."

The smile turned into a slight smirk. "I doubt you've ever met a guy like me."

Jesus Christ, this man was annoying.

"Wow, you really are a Bond…"

"Dangerous and good-looking?"

"A womanizer who's full of himself."

That fucking laugh. She should leave now when she still had the chance.

But she didn't.

She didn't sit down… But she didn't leave either. He looked at her with those infuriating dark eyes, slightly bloodshot, like he was not only having a rough week at work but a whole rough life as well.

"And you got all the characteristics of a Bond girl."

She didn't take the bait of asking what exactly did he mean by that.

"What do you do for a living, Mr. Bond?"

He licked his lips, narrowed his eyes, and all in all, looked like he was estimating whether she could handle what he was about to tell her.

"I kill people."

Well fuck me…

Ok. Fuck.

"Oh, okay. So you're in Hells Angels or something?"

He smiled and shook his head slowly.

"You're a merc?"

He gave him a vague nod of the head, a shrug of the shoulder, a gesture that said: "Kind of".

"Why would you want to take me on a date?"

Why don't you just say it how it is, that you only want to fuck me?

"'Cause there's something here. You feel it, I feel it."

"You're looking for a relationship in a titty bar?"

He laughed again, and even she had to smile. He matched her boldness, her unapologetic straightforwardness. It couldn't kill her to live a little. Even if it meant tumbling into bed with a cowboy. Even if it meant living a little with a killer.

"You never know," he offered.

"You're a bit too cocky for my taste."

"You've barely even tasted me yet."

Fuck, this man would soon make her drip all over the floor. The tall, dark stranger tilted his head and left her with no choice.

"Shouldn't you at least give it a try before you say no?"

PART 2:

#ghost x oc #simon ghost riley x original character #simon ghost riley x female oc #simon ghost riley #ghost fanfiction #simon ghost riley fic #cod fanfic #ghost smut #simon riley smut

[blackmoonlightexpress]

A Guide on Ashes of Love (for TTEOTM fans)

For TTEOTM fans debating whether to watch Ashes of Love (or struggling with how long it is), I highly recommend that you CHECK IT OUT and STICK WITH IT!

Why? A lot of people think that it's Luo Yunxi at his best looks-wise. It's the role that made him a household name and really defined the ethereal white-robed male god in Chinese pop culture. Runyu has much more screentime than is typical for a second male lead. And while it has a lot of filler, it also has some of the best scenes, lines, music, cinematography, and fight choreography among xianxias.

Now, there are problems with the drama... especially in retrospect, the two biggest are: (1) It's infamous for stretching 36 episodes into 63 because mo' episodes, mo' money. On the bright side, this gave the drama a bigger budget to play with, hence grander sets, better CGI, nicer costumes. (2) The naive female lead and love trumps all plot now feel dated and perhaps even problematic. However, Yang Zi is a compelling actress and there's enough politics to keep mature viewers around.

So here's a guide to the 63 episodes, for those who want the "lay of the land". You can decide for yourself what to watch or skip. Naturally it's hard to avoid spoilers, but I've kept them mild.

Episodes 1-5: Jinmi travels to the heavenly realm (Bloat Score: 3/5)

This is mainly Jinmi meeting different characters and having fun in the heavenly realm. You can speed watch as it's light on plot. Runyu only appears for 1-2 scenes per episode, but his fight scenes are beautiful (EP1-35m, EP3-27m, EP5-37m)!

Episodes 6-8: The four leads travel to the Demon Realm (Bloat Score: 2/5) 

This part is pretty action-packed. Jinmi surprises everyone with her powers. Blossoming romance between the leads. Runyu has a more consistent presence. Would watch at normal speed.

Episodes 9-17: The two brothers compete for Jinmi while uncovering her true identity (Bloat Score: 1/5) 

The plot really picks up here as you start to get hooked on solving the mystery of Jinmi's identity and affairs of the past generation. I particularly liked the mini climaxes in Ep 12 and 15.

Episodes 18-34: Jinmi & Xufeng undergoes human trial + Runyu's backstory (Bloat Score: 4/5) 

This is the plot within the plot that was not in the source novel and has no reason to exist other than to increase runtime and give viewers more romance between the leads. If you didn't like the dream arc in TTEOTM, this will be even worse. Lucky for us they've also fleshed out Runyu's backstory and perspective in Ep 29-32, where viewers started rooting for Runyu instead.

Episode 35-45: Jinmi decides who to marry as the brothers head to epic showdown (Bloat Score: 2/5) 

The drama takes a more serious tone here, with more angst, tragedy, and power play. Runyu sheds his innocence and fights for his own corner. You also get to see him confess his love to Jinmi in one of my favorite scenes in Ep 37.

Episode 46-59: The aftermath aka a big stew of tears, blood-spitting, regret, hurt (Bloat Score: 4/5) 

Frankly I found this part painful to watch and repetitive. I can't recall what happens other than it builds up to another epic fight between the brothers Helen of Troy style. Runyu is at his darkest and there are a few TTJ-like obsessive love scenes between him and Jinmi (EP50-19m, EP56-28m, EP57-15m, EP58-25m)

Episodes 60-63 The Ending (Bloat Score: 2/5) 

A pretty satisfying ending. The big battle itself takes place in Ep 61, so there are 2 full episodes to resolve things between the characters and give them a proper ending. Runyu's final scene is done very well and always gives me the goosebumps (EP63-39m)

Also, there are lots of scenes of the third couple (demon princess and her bodyguard) spliced throughout. If it doesn't do anything for you, just skip - it has no impact to the main plot.

Have fun watching!

#till the end of the moon #black moonlight holds the be script #luo yunxi #cdrama #chang yue jin ming #chinese drama #tteotm #tantai jin #ashes of love #runyu #jinmin

[phoenix-manga]

Jinlong Esi

CV: Kawasumi Ayako

Biographical Information

Gender: Female

Age: 18

Birthday: July 27

Starsign: Leo

Height: 184 cm

Eye Color: Atlantis Green

Hair Color: Copper Rust & Gold

Professional Status

Dorm: Dragonstone

School Year: 3rd Year

Class: 3-B | Student no. 16

Occupation: Student | Dorm Leader

Club: Aviary Club

Best Subject: Magic History

Fun Facts

Favorite Food: Various Teas

Least Favorite Food: Porridge

Dislikes: Unorganized spaces

Hobby: Forging

Talents: Acrobatics

Idol Stats

Performance: Has excellent vocal range used for traditional songs and Chinese opera. Prefers to sing a story rather than just sing out her emotions.

Choreography: Mixes cultural dance with modern choreography. Sometimes incorporates fighting styles

Styling Jewel Outfits: Cultural | Cool | Gothic

Jinlong tends to try new things along with a sense of adventure, in which often gets her scolded by her father about how unladylike it was.

It doesn’t help that she was stubborn and she always ends up getting punished if she defies him. It took quite a lot of punishments for her to realize she had to keep everything she does a secret from almost all the men in her family.

Due to her unfavorable home life, Jinlong has developed a sharp tone towards the opposite gender. This may be judgmental on her part but growing up in a place where the men all think you should be placed in a box made her assume that she would be looked down upon even outside of the Valley of Clouds.

But she is much more toned down towards the girls. Although, she feels weirded out by the fact that there were girls who chose to embrace femininity.

After some time at DCA, Jinlong took a while to be a bit more accepting of the daintier girls and the fact that some women don’t like to be adventurous as her.

Jinlong was taught proper etiquette so much that it shows through her body language and habits. The lessons were hammered into her since childhood and are not easy to change.

Hometown: Valley of Clouds

Family Life

Jinlong grew up in a community where women are expected to be elegant and fragile. Their role in society was to be pretty and give birth to offspring. This kind of strict tradition was not for Jinlong, she’s been different from the other girls in the valley.

She wanted to do things that boys usually would, like climb trees and roughhouse. But her father would put a stop to her “outlandish” behavior by physical punishments such as kneeling on the floor for a few hours or being struck.

He even employed strict tutors to engrain etiquette into her. The tutors themselves were quite harsh and Jinlong couldn’t confide in anyone about her troubles.

Jinlong has 3 elder brothers and 2 younger brothers. The eldest often argues with her because he is the family’s golden child in terms of martial art strength and intelligence. He would agree with whatever father said, at times even using his strength to push his other siblings around to follow what he thinks is right for the family.

It didn’t help that when Jinlong snuck out, she was snitched on by most of her brothers. Especially the eldest brother who threatened the second eldest if he didn’t tell on her, but Jinlong didn’t blame the second eldest, Ying was scary strong that her father would probably take his side all the time.

She becomes less trusting of her brothers because she knows they’ll snitch on her, with the exception of the youngest and second eldest brother. She often ignores them and makes sure they don’t know what she’s doing behind her father’s back.

She started to keep secrets from her father, she sneaks out when no one was looking. She’s learned to memorize all their routines and is always back at the house on time and doesn’t look disheveled at all.

Jinlong’s mother tries to pretend she doesn’t notice her daughter doing what is considered to be “boy’s activity”. Knowing that it can be suffocating to constantly be told what to do.

Childhood Memories

Jinlong remembers the furious look on her father’s face the moment he saw her all muddied up and trying to play swords with boys. He harshly scolded her and ended up grounding her for weeks, she wasn’t allowed to play inside or outside the house and must be with an etiquette tutor. Ying taunted her for being so “unladylike” and even had the gall to try and rile her up to get her to act out and be punished some more.

One day, while out in town, she meets an old man who was known for being a lone wolf and is always cooped up in his smithy forge. Jinlong was curious and purposely let go of her mother’s hand while they were nearing a crowd to go see what he was doing.

She’s heard how this old man was rumored to be a warrior who fought in the Great War against the enemy who tried to invade the valley but not a lot would believe that rumor. Ever since that day, she secretly came to meet up with the old dragon and learned a lot from him. The most prominent skill he taught her were marital arts and blacksmithing.

As Jinlong grew up, she manages to perfect her skills in keeping up with her etiquette lessons as well as her secret training. Often times she is left alone by most of her brothers but she has also developed a hobby of nitpicking her eldest brother for every little mistake to try and knock him down a peg.

It’s petty of her to do so but she’s spent her life being told she can’t do this and that due to her gender, this was her way of getting back at him for telling her to stay in her “place”.

One day, the ivory carriage came to her house and everyone in the neighborhood was curious. Usually there were ebony carriages but here it was at her house, at first they thought it was from RSA until the coachman announced that Jinlong was chosen to attend.

The neighbors were happy for her but her father insisted that her education is perfectly fine at home. Of course, he had something to say! If it was the ebony carriage he’d had her brother’s packing already.

The carriage didn’t leave though, her father just had everyone stay in the house until it leaves. But Jinlong knew better, she had enough of this life and secretly packed all her things to leave for the academy.

She panicked when she heard her name being called, it was her mother. To her shock, she let her go and even covered for her. There, her mother confessed that she felt caged like her but there was nothing she could do for herself, but she didn’t want this life for Jinlong.

That night, she left the house for the academy, on her nightstand is her declaration of rebelling by leaving the floral pin that she was gifted by her father on her coming of age ceremony, as a way to tell him that she will no longer be told what to do by anyone.

 Jinlong is a 3rd Year Dragonstone student and is the current dorm leader.

At first, she wasn’t comfortable with other girls seeing as how most of them dress rather doll-like. But upon realizing that the pastel walls of the academy are merely aesthetic and that the education system allows for almost any field of study regardless of whether it was feminine or not, Jinlong loosened up and was able to embrace her athleticism.

Soon enough, she felt freer especially when she is allowed to go all out during her PE lessons. It felt refreshing to be praised instead of being chastised for it.

She slowly opened up and became a model student amongst the students who find her determination inspiring.

During magift tournaments, Jinlong is considered the ace player due to how she is able to come up with a plan on the spot. Sometimes even using her opponent’s strengths against them.

Though she had quite a hard time learning new subjects that are usually reserved for men, or were just not taught in the valley at all, she took the opportunity to focus and gain more knowledge than her brother ever could achieve back home.

She has high grades in most subjects, her performance in etiquette were also exceptional but she dislikes such class due to how she is reminded of the etiquette classes she took back home, even though this class wasn’t as restrictive. It just had too many rules and details to keep track of.

School Relationships

Jinlong would be often seen around Cerule, Rozeline, Evonie and Vidya. She’s felt really close with these girls throughout her school years of studying at DCA.

Cerule was the first mermaid she has met and Jinlong almost mistook her for a sea dragon when they saw each other. The two share sentiments of wanting freedom, though she does envy Cerule a little bit seeing as how her father was just worried about his daughter, something her own father reserved for the golden child.

Rozeline was a curios case for Jinlong, she can sense that she has tremendous power but for some reason she keeps it sealed away which cannot be healthy for her. Though she doesn’t pry since it would be too forward of her.

She admits that Rozeline has quite the extensive intellectual library and she would always consult her on historical objects. Jinlong appreciates the gift basket she gets from her on occasions. Her eyes were opened to the taste of foreign food that her father always thought wasn’t even worth tasting. He’s missing out on so much!

Evonie and Vidya are the girls she can admit would be worthy of becoming rivals with. Evonie was tenacious, though her determinations gets her to be a bit rash sometimes. But she’s got sprit!

Vidya was clever and will catch her off guard if she doesn’t pay close attention. She’s beaten her a few times during sparring matches.

The three started their friendship through rivalry but they do hang out when they aren’t sparring during PE. The three like to vent to each other about their issues whether it be about school or at home, they needed to vent their bottled up emotions.

Cinder has a fierce but clumsy personality. The fairy is strong, no doubt but she tends to trip over her own tail a few times. But this does allow Jinlong to let down her guard and enjoy life as it is. Cinder’s form is from Jinlong’s desire to live and laugh to her heart’s content.

Cinder, despite her clumsiness, has her wise moments too. She has lived for a long time after all, it wouldn’t be surprising if she spouts words of wisdom when it’s needed.

Rongyu

He is a Komodo dragon that Jinlong found in the wild, she begged her father to let her keep the little guy. Her mother managed to convince him by simply stating that Komodo dragons fit quite well with their dragon-like appearance and it technically follows the draconic image they have all over the valley.

Unlike normal humans who can have fatal injuries from the Komodo dragon’s saliva, Dragonkin are immune to poisons and fire. So, having Rongyu was not a problem.

Rongyu’s pampered life at the valley made him docile and have more refined tastes for culinary cuisine rather than just raw meat. He’s grateful for Jinlong and so he knows who she likes and dislikes, he often goes potty in Ying’s room and he can’t do anything about it because it plays dumb and does his “business” in places one wouldn’t notice.

People would just assume it was mold, painting Ying as someone who has a moldy room. Jinlong cackles internally at the sight of her brother gagging in disgust.

When Jinlong was away, Hou is the next person that Rongyu goes to. Hou always wanted a pet lizard, so getting to look after him for a while is always welcome.

Yinglong

He is a Holsteiner horse and Jinlong actually bought the horse from the stables. Horses aren’t kept in the Valley due to the steep terrain, she was curious about riding horses.

Yinglong used to trek through hills and rocky terrain. But Jinlong loves to use him in an obstacle course. With how fast and flexible he is, he can jump high enough.

Yinglong is a fan of gossip, anything he hears he wants to share with everyone. Better keep secrets away from this horse if you don’t want the stables getting noisy afterwards.

Her Unique Magic is called, “Gold Dragon Fire”, she can melt her target but not the surrounding area in gold fire. Recently, she’s learned to control her temperature and she would use this technique in smelting ores and fixing antiques that are made of minerals.

Magic usage is rather minimal outside of showing off in competitions or festivals compared to the Valley of Thorns.

Guang Esi

The father of the Esi family, he is a traditional man who will not tolerate breaking the concept of what he considers normal. He views the world outside of the Valley of Clouds as inferior and uncouth even if they had high standing. He shows favor for the eldest son, Ying and casually compares the other brothers to him.

Liling Esi

The mother who was engaged to Guang by her parents. She tries to stay out of his way and tries to live comfortably, but when Jinlong was born she realized that she didn’t want this life for her daughter. So, from behind the scenes, she helps keep Jinlong’s secret within her authority.

She was like Jinlong, a headstrong girl who was pushed into a box by rules and was forced to follow.

Ying Esi (26)

The firstborn son and the eldest sibling. A very strong martial artist who is prideful of his skills. He would remind Jinlong to know her place as a daughter of the household, he thinks that going against tradition is equivalent to bringing shame to the family.

While he wasn’t violent all the time, he does use a bit of force to get his point across, he injured the second eldest when he dared to raise his voice against him when he tried to stand up for Jinlong.

But despite his skill, he is rather immature where he will complain if he happened to lose fairly. Choosing to blame the opponent rather than reflect and be better.

He admires his father and would stick close to him rather than his mother.

Ushi Esi (24)

The second-born son. He doesn’t possess a slim yet muscular figure like the rest of his brothers, he is more buff and heavy with toned muscles. He works as an architect, building houses and fixing gardens.

He’s friendlier to Jinlong but is a bit of a coward when it comes to confronting Ying since he was injured by the eldest when he dared to go against him one time.

He has a soft side he hides away from his brothers and father, he wanted to make hairpins ever since he was young. He just finds the beauty of them so mesmerizing. He tends to stick closer to his mother because she was so understanding.

Gou Esi (20)

The third-born son. Although he is quite charming to the girls in his hometown, he is also a cunning lad. Jinlong doesn’t trust him since he’ll ask for favors in exchange for his silence.

He doesn’t pick sides but will take the opportunity to find entertainment even if it meant instigating drama. And Jinlong is careful not to let him catch wind of what she does in secret.

His flirtatious habits and penchant for causing drama stems from his insecurity for not meeting his father’s expectations. If he can’t get his approval, then he looks for it in women who easily give it to him.

Tuzi Esi (17)

The fourth son and fifth sibling. He is known for being quick on his feet. A bit of a troublemaker in the family, always running fast without a care in the world. He would skip out on lessons when he’s bored.

He is neutral with Jinlong and he thinks she’s boring so he barely interacts with her. Jinlong knows not to judge but she can’t help but be frustrated that he takes a lot of things for granted because he a boy, while she has limited options and her future is held in chains.

His unwillingness to cooperate with educators also stem from his father’s favoritism. If he can’t compare to Ying then why bother, was his reason.

Hou Esi (15)

The fifth son and sixth sibling. He spends his time reading books and holds discussions with his teachers about philosophy. He looks up to Jinlong when she took care of him while he was sick.

He decides to support Jinlong using his privileges to make sure that she no longer has to feel sad. He doesn’t care about his father since he was more of a momma’s boy. He plans on becoming a scholar instead and of what his father wants for him.

The character’s name, “Jinlong”, derives from the word “Golden Dragon” while the last name, “Esi” was taken from a name generator. It does not have a Chinese meaning tied to it. The artist took notes from Leona’s last name and named the character in a similar manner.

Jinlong is another fusion idea like Rozeline, she is both Mulan and Mushu.

Just like how Mushu is looked down upon by the ancestors, Jinlong is also looked down upon my most of the males in her family.

The names of her brothers derive from the temple guardians from the movie, the statues represent an animal guardian and the artist tried their best to figure out the names to fit the brothers. Some of them aren’t based on the statues due to how it didn’t sound right.

Ying – means “hero” but half is only used in the Chinese word “Yīngxióng”.

Ushi – means “cattle” in Japanese. The reason for Ushi’s name being Japanese just sounded better.

Tuzi – means “rabbit” in Chinese.

Gou – means “dog” in Chinese.

Hou – means “monkey” in Chinese.

#twisted wonderland #diamond crown academy #dca #twst #dragonstone #jinlong esi #headcanons

[iuteamstarcandy]

[INTERVIEW] 230922 IU in Elle Korea Oct Issue (Part 1 of 2)

Q : You are full of good news for your upcoming 15th debut anniversary which will take place on September 18. Starting from the media art exhibition, you also had your “IU Concert: The Golden Hour” film premiere and now the fan concert which will be held for 2 days at KSPO Dome.

I have been really busy. Since there is not even a day for me to rest in September, I have been wondering whether I will be able to prepare the fan concert well or if I should delay the fan concert, but in the end, it will be the most fun if we celebrate the debut anniversary during the debut anniversary. It is a little bit too much, but I am doing my best to prepare for it.

Q : I think the meeting between Elle and IU which takes place today can also be a present for people who love you.

That’s true. Especially since I can show my new side whenever I have a photoshoot with Gucci. I hope that throughout September my fans will find it as a gift.

Q : You uploaded on your SNS, “Fan Concert? Although it’s my first time (doing this), I have a feeling that this is my expertise”. After preparing for it, do you think so?

Because of my “You Have Done Well” filming, I have to go back and forth between Andong, Jeju and Yeoncheon. Whenever I get to Seoul, I practise for the choreography and the ensemble, and it is really tiring? But when the practice session started, it became like a festival (laughs). We picked less popular songs that we ourselves like, boldly rearranged those songs that seemed like fans would probably have listened to a lot before and it is has been really fun while preparing for the fan concert.

Q : The fan concert was sold out during the pre-sale for fanclub members. You are an artist who is ahead of taking countermeasures to prevent organized ticket reselling or scalpers from reselling tickets for a premium. Is it a characteristic of yours that you need to solve a problem whenever it happens?

Although it will not be eradicated just because I step forward on this issue, I still think it's important to show my willingness to do something about it. As a result, we worked together with other companies to come up with some good ideas to deal with this.

(TL note: If you report a scalper and Edam Ent investigates and finds evidence that the person is indeed reselling the ticket, then Edam Ent will give you the ticket instead as a prize. If you already have a ticket to IU’s concert, then you receive an unreleased IU photocard instead as a prize.)

Q : During the media exhibition “Moment,” last summer, which was held to celebrate your 15th debut anniversary, you released a little bit of the guide recording version of your popular songs, like “Through The Night” and “Palette”. Is there any reason for that?

If I am able to record the guide version, I will usually record it by myself. Through this process, I have great affection for the song, because you can improve your song interpretation skills or your knowledge about music. After all, music is about discovering really good moments even if they are raw and sloppy. I thought it would be nice to show the guide recordings which I have collected and listened to by myself all this time, so I picked a few of them. I also thought it would be nice if I let people listen to just a teeny bit of the song that I prepared for my new album, so I also revealed the unreleased song. I am proud of the fact that everyone got really excited about it.

Q : You also created “Uaena’s Room” for the exhibition while thinking about your fans. To IU, what kind of a person is Uaena?

I have shown everyone a few times my ‘storage place’ where I collected all the items that I cherish. I re-created the storage place at the exhibition and then made “Uaena’s Room” which looks like a mirror image of it, as if this is a décalcomanie. It started with the idea that I think Uaena are people who are very similar to me. I don’t know what kind of life each Uaena has, but I feel that I know the attitude and focus that a person has when you like someone and how soft your heart becomes in that moment.

Q: It’s already been 2 years since you released <Pieces> at the end of your 20s. In the album introduction, you wrote ‘the pieces in between my 20s that I didn’t bother to take out’ and included 5 songs right? Which piece do you think is the odd one out?

Even when I was recording “Drama” which I wrote when I was 20, I worked on it while thinking, “Ah, I can’t make my voice sound like this anymore. If I do it now, it seems like I’m just pretending.” Yet, on the other hand, I’m not someone who changes much as a person. I also feel that the parts of me that are immature and lacking will not dramatically become more impressive (laughs).

Q: Do you feel pressured about releasing your new album?

During the course of preparing for this album, there was a point when I did a 180 degree u-turn. Having released albums one after another without any hiatus so far, this time I have not released my own album for about 2 years, so I think during this period of time, the direction of my thoughts has changed a lot. Now that my songs are taking shape one by one, I think 2 years passed by rather slowly (TL note: meaning 2 years has been a long time). I feel like I’m rich because I like how the songs turned out. I’m talking about my ambition here. I think this is a good time for me to say such things.

Q: You’re the idol of idols too. There are many KPOP artists who covered your songs, bought your merchandise and shared their concert reviews with their fans. Why do you think you have received so much love?

Staying faithful to music is something that I take pride in. I think it could be the closeness and happiness they feel towards someone they have been watching for a long time. As someone in the same industry, perhaps it’s the feeling of wanting to cheer on a senior who has been doing this for a long time. I’ll do my best to repay them with my gratitude when the moment comes.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Magazine source: JongHeon_IU0516

#IU #interview #elle #oct 2023

[cricketnationrise]

Weekend WIP Around

so. i'm bad at responding to tag games at the best of times. and then i worked 11 days straight and lost all sense of time and space. but! ive had several days off now, my head is screwed on relatively straight again, so here we go. thanks to: @cha-melodius @three-drink-amy @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @dumbpeachjuice @welcometololaland @celaestis1 @indomitable-love @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @doggernaut @sherryvalli @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin and @read-and-write- for the MANY tags over the last two weeks! have some words! 💜🦗

I'm using @welcometololaland's 20 question game for writers and artists (thanks Lola, this is so fun!)

1. WIP List: (from my "Active WIPs" folder otherwise we'd be here 5eva) Game Changer (Noise Boys) Tortall AU [FTH] rwrb assassination attempt AU [FTH] jon/alanna Tortall canon-divergence [FTH] an incomplete list series going platinum sequel jack's off-season wishlist series rwrb kiss-cam omgcp say yes to the dress au

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest? Game Changer AU ~2.4k

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest? eventually an incomplete list series since it has the most parts planned, but the going platinum sequel has more than a little potential to explode on me

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why? I am SUPER enjoying writing the Game Changer AU right now, it's really fun coming up with all the prompts!

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why? jon/alanna canon-divergence. hands down. it's not a pairing i usually seek out, and i want to write them believably, especially since it's for charity

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why? see above.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why? probably everything on this list will get a beta pass, actually. kiss cam will depend on how long i end up making it/if it actually gets a whole plot XD

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block? jon/alanna has less of a writer's block and more of a starting block, but i'm hopeful that once i figure out the plot the writing will come fairly easily. kiss-cam au I paused on purpose because i was writing The Mummy AU and Going Platinum at the same time and a third wip was driving me crazy.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them? none of them have OC's at this time

10. Which WIP is the sexiest? Going Platinum sequel 🤝 Jack's Off-Season Wishlist

11. Which WIP is the angstiest? rwrb assassination attempt AU, for obvious reasons

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)? well, i hope all of them!

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)? ditto from above

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on? as of today, Game Changer Tortall AU

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why? Going Platinum sequel. I cut a lot of ideas from the original fic because they didn't make sense with the hiding identities I had going on, so now that they're together, I'm really excited to figure out how alex's job (and henry's support of it) lets their relationship evolve and grow

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs? not about any of these, but while I was writing the Mummy AU I watched the movie so frequently that I would regularly dream about that one.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't? Going Platinum sequel - choreography complications since they still aren't showing their faces on the streams Game Changer Tortall AU - working within the framework of the show itself, possibly coding the whole thing to look like a script

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour? Game Changer AU for sure.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process? not right now!

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs. say yes to the dress au - Bitty as Randy, but it's a Nurseydex endgame fic AND a bonus snippet from the Game Changer Tortall fic to make up for all the 6/7 sentences/wip weds i've missed :D

“Tonight’s guests: coming in fresh from a shower: it’s Merric Hollyrose! Looking around for somewhere to tie his horse: Owen Jesslaw! Tallest, oldest, last – and certainly not happy about it – it’s Neal Queenscove! And your host, me! I’ve been here the whole time.” “Welcome to Gamechanger, the only game show where the game changes every show. I am your host, Kel Mindelan, and I’m joined today by these three lovely contestants. Now, you all understand how the game works?” Merric shakes his head. “Nope.”  “Haven’t the foggiest,” says Owen cheerful as always in the face of the unknown. “You haven’t explained a dratted thing.” Neal pouts and Kel feels the last wisps of nerves melt away in response. Kel knows how to do this – getting Neal to hit peak dramatically grumpy levels is as natural as breathing. She throws Neal a cheeky grin before turning back to the camera. “That’s right! Our players have no idea what game it is that they’re about to play. The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning, so without further ado – let’s begin.”

Consider this an open tag to play along!

#cricket writes #cricket lives #cricket participates in a tag game both on time and extremely late #hi friends #wip 20 questions #rwrb #tortall #omgcp

[tutuandscoot]

CD: Argentine Tango- World’s 2008, Göteborg Sweden

So what I personally love in a good tango is a quality I would describe as the man wanting to eat the woman alive and her looking as though she’s really into it. Like just this look of utter desire and the man being in complete control and the woman not fighting against that. It’s a very careful balance because the man can’t look angry or mean or volatile, and the woman has to balance not fighting against that will for the man to control her- she has to be on board with it but also can’t appear weak or too easy to take advantage of. This is not the ideal quality for every tango but I find it very appropriate for this Argentine style which is known for being an extremely passionate tango. If this all sounds bizarre and messed up I get you and if you’re finding that quality hard to picture then please look no further than VM’s Argentine Tango CD because this is exactly how I would describe their quality in this dance as is why I love it so much.

Below I’m going to break down all my favourite choreographic moments and highlight where I find this quality and how they use it to add incredible passion and intimacy to a dance there are 20 some odd couples performing on this same day and manage to appear as far more mature then their tender ages of just 18 and 20.

Firstly, just a comment on costumes. Unsurprisingly, I love them (there are in fact costumes of theirs that I don’t like which I’ll get to eventually). T’s dress is stunning. This certainly adds to the maturity of their dancing. It’s so very appropriate. It’s not sleezy, it doesn’t distract or get in the way of the choreography, it excentuates body lines. Some argue Scott was often underdressed, but I would and have argued in the past it is on purpose the way he dresses so as not to distract from the choreography, not distract from Tessa, feel comfortable and have an ease of movement. Almost all the time his simple costumes were so well fitted and showed off his exquisite movement. What I also like about their take on costumes is I don’t think of them as wearing costumes, like the costumes aren’t this whole other thing, it feels more natural, it grounds them which I think with skaters and the environment in which they perform- there aren’t stage lights, backdrop, sets. They are just in an arena with people and branding on all sides, so it doesn’t look like they’ve been pulled off some extravagant stage set and plonked on an ice rink- it feels appropriate for the setting they are in. I don’t think I explained that very well but the point of it all is i’m a big fan of the simplicity. It’s more like they came out of a movie where two characters have just happened to be dancing a tango as part of the story. This of course varies and some programs do require more ‘costumy’ costumes.

Ok. Let’s get into it.

1. The opening

It’s another common thread of their’s to not have overly excessive openings and closings to their CD’s. This part isn’t being judged, there’s no bonus points for lifts or spins, it’s to set the tone and make it a full finished product. Immediately even before the music starts you get that passion and desire, that closeness straight away then that push and pull with T holding her own but she’s also really into him pulling her back to him. That downward gaze they both but especially he has. Also just in this intro their beautiful upper body form: such beautiful posture where there is no tension, shoulders are relaxed but there is strength in the way he holds her and such lightness from her- pressing into his hand while lightly resting her other on his shoulder. Such a hard thing to perfect and while many teams do it ‘well’ VM do it brilliantly.

2. Their beautiful, powerful gliding skating

As always, I don’t know enough to make an educated analysis of their skating. They were obviously very strong, gaining speed quickly (as in development compared to last season- getting stronger and faster in a short amount of time). I just assume their technique is great and this is what good skating should look like considering the amount of other knowledgeable people who have said so and their top world class rankings being just their second year in senior. Having said all that, obviously there was something not quite right about it considering this was the initial issue with Tessa’s legs- the pain started with this compulsory dance where she says there was intense pain and cramping and through training around this time it was specifically on compulsory dances that the pain occurred. I’m in no place to diagnose but having had similar injuries myself i’d say it was on some level the Russian style skating technique along with her body mechanics- just the way her muscles defaulted to working in that style. (I do not personally know the specific differences between Russian and British style skating, I just mean it as the style they were being taught having Russian coaches there must’ve just been something about that technique that bothered her legs through heavy duty- repetitive training like that for compulsory dances). Regardless of that, the way they move together, even doing the most simple of movements is just magical. For all the times I firmly refer to them as dancers, their skating and the quality with which they skate is just not something you would get with them dancing on the floor. Even with the simplest of steps, the rise and fall of their knees together, the sustains and the pauses, it seems so organic and just natural that their bodies know how to move in time with each other’s. Yes it took years and endless practice to get there but other teams work hard yet the seamlessness of TS you just don’t see in anyone else.

3. The start of the set pattern.

I’ve watched all of this CD competition from World’s 08 and I don’t believe any other team (at least any team of note) took that beautiful long, sustained pause that TS do. I’m talking about the ‘kiss moment’ - most other teams did a sharp look towards each other and kinda stood up straighter, more of a ‘stomp’ step with their free foot and just looked towards each other quite statically. It was very staccato and on the beat, where as TS in this moment and others times throughout, flirt with the timing to stretch out and indulge in certain moments, while still staying on the music and fulfilling the strict musical requirements. This is one of the prime examples of the initial quality I mentioned at the top of this. It’s one of the early examples of that thing they would do so often in many programs to come (and manage to accurately suit it to the tone of the program) of that down ward, sometimes closed eye gaze and the dropped jaw to open their mouth’s that just immediately gives this ultimate desire and passion. It wasn’t a constant thing like you see know with these lyrical, hyper emotional skating programs where they just look dismayed the whole time and mouths open like they are catching flies- TS use it as emphasis and like an acting tool to moderate their emotions throughout and because they both do it it feels more natural- their equal ability to emote. In this specific moment I will confidently say they don’t quite kiss, but they have never been afraid of the intention of that and being able to portray it one step away from literally, actually going through with it. They way this moment plays with the music- it can’t be given it’s justice in gif form so please go watch it, but that sustained rise then fall of the knee on the proceeding steps is beautiful. You feel that their cores are so connected and they are so focused. They attack the movement with so much energy, but it’s controlled and rather then channeled unevenly, they channel it into each other. It’s really so ironic that they only started ‘The Hug’ a couple of years after this because I feel like the purpose of that and what it did- ensure them that they were connected and in time with each other- they were rising and falling to the same rhythm they set themselves. It was a quality already displayed in so much of their skating, whether that was just their talent and training and supreme musicality maybe, but knowing there was a time before and a time after The Hug, I still see some of what that did for them in earlier performances. Maybe it was always there and The Hug became a matter of fact for them that they knew it was there.

4. EDGES

I’m really not gonna say much here because I think their edges speak for themselves and there is already plenty of commentary from those who know far more then me, but isn’t it just so satisfying to watch!? Not that I watch that much ice dancing from recently but there’s really no need to even film slow-mo and close ups of edges because they just don’t exist anymore - there being no compulsories or attention to detail in other program formats, at least none like this. As much as I love VM’s dance quality this is just as satisfying to watch. They are so far over on their edges and the clean slicing of the ice. They manage to appear both so grounded and weightless at the same time. No unnecessary tension in their upper bodies while doing all that impeccable skating- just as much as the style requires of them. That change from inside to outside with their right as the free leg as well as that port de bra.. ugh it’s just beautiful- and again so much better with the music so go watch it when you’re done here please 🙏🙏

5. Tango highlights

Obviously this is a tango, based on music and costume, but little accented moments like this where they are facing towards each other and Scott picks up T’s foot with his. Lifting so high while remaining so close and just the most exquisite hold of position with their arms as they lean into that edge starting the circle. It’s here and then throughout the rest of the pattern where you really get that incredibly close tango hold where he is really coming over the top of her to lead the dance. He takes her with him into all these turns staying close while their feet stay so neat and on such beautiful edges.

6. Deep circle and edge appreciation

That’s all.

7. LINES

There is no debate on this. They have the most beautiful lines in ice dance. There are several reasonings for this: 1. It is just some truly messed up fate shit that they have matching bodies. You see it when they were wee little kiddos first paired up- they are perfect for each other.. then there were some sketchy times in the middle through puberty where there was a worry T would grow too tall, but by this point here they were matching perfectly. When they skate their height difference works so in their favour in that T looks shorter than him when she needs to or it’s necessary for partnering, then other times appears as his physical equal and this gives the illusion they skate as one (as well as their connection). This physical match is part of what makes their lines so good, as well as athletic ability, aesthetic understanding (straight and pulled up knees, fully pointed toes, matching heights). Also here you will notice their gorgeous epaulement, or in layman’s terms, shoulder and head positions. The way they twist their upper bodies while remaining square in the hips, as well as turning their heads at the right angle to portray the tango style. The moment after the twizzle with T’s stunning arabesque and Scott’s matching devant position is another one of those drawn out moments like the ‘kiss’ at the start. As far as the skating steps go they remain perfectly on the music but through they upper bodies and further extension of their free legs they stretch it out to create light and shade in an otherwise strict set pattern. The arch in her back which concaves into his body position leaning into her [this kinda shape: ((. The first bracket being S the second T] the slow caress of his face while she looks slightly up at him while he gazes down at her.

8. Expression and quality:

There’s really 4 moments that I point to as obvious examples of the quality I love in a tango that I mentioned at the start; the ‘kiss’ at the beginning, the foot pick up, this elongated arabesque moment above, and this moment below. That lift of the arms where they sustain that glide leaning to the back of the rink with their fingers separating and palms pressing together as they lower. Then the crossovers onto outside edges where in he steps so far over her you almost can’t see her from this angle. The commentary in these CD from back in the day always talked about how close the skaters should be - that there should be minimal distance between the hips- especially when side by side (in Killian hold, to and extent tango hold but it’s a bit harder). Here with the nature of the step it’s not so much their hips together but more so their upper bodies are so incredibly close. The way she looks at him as he’s forcing back but he just glances downwards and past her- yet that mental connection is still so there.. Complete control over her but with this quality that she’s really into it. It’s passion. That’s really what it is, but they have that in everything they do so it’s how they control that and work it together to portray this dance so honesty with so much maturity. It has to come through in their expression, upper body/ artistry and in their skating technique.. it’s just insane to think they were this good so young.

9. The ending

Ok, I lied, 5 moments. But given this isn’t part of the the set chore it’s up to them to finish it and how they want that quality to follow through from the beginning to the end, and this really is just the icing on the cake. Also just such a sweet and wholesome parallel to the eventual MR ending- both being tangos in similar-looking costumes but totally different emotion in the ending. If you were struggling to get my jist with the whole ‘eaten alive’ quality I like I hope this ending is what seals it. (I don’t want my craving for that quality to sound demented or anything- it’s not like in a hanibal Lecter way) - it’s passion and drama and sensual desire.. the tango is a dance of love and passion so you don’t want one person to be really into it and the other disinterested.. but at the same time I also find it sexier this way, the way VM do it as opposed to the female being over the top and appearing to initiate it. I love this ending, T’s big fan kick, Scott’s wide yet stable stance, T’s face as she goes back- actually both their faces.. and it’s like they go into slow mo mode again. His hand on the back of her neck as always supporting her. That tension in his hand on her back so as he doesn’t have full contact with her.. yet that secure, cuddly contact getting her up and on balance again (a constant through every ending pose like this) even the way they stay there for a moment, him breathing into her neck and her gazing down at him as though she’s waiting for him to finish but doesn’t at all want him to rush… (sorry the gif cuts it off a bit here)

It’s extraordinary the detail and emotion that went into just this CD, with two full and very different (OD + FD) programs still to come. This is high up on my list of fave skates of there’s, really the paso from the following year and TR all are coz it’s like satisfaction porn… for people who like perfect (or as perfect as possible) things to just drool over. The skating is mind boggling, the musicality is perfect, the expression of all of these CD’s is exquisite. All of them being male dominate styles I think worked so well for them coz Tessa had this beautiful way of letting him lead her and not having to over do her expression from an outward perspective, instead she found that by playing off him (I don’t know it that was their process but that’s how I make sense of it) coz so often with almost every other team you would get either weakness in expression from both skaters- either a lack of performance skills or just coming off dis honestly (which is really just a form of lack of performance skills) or (this more often from the older/top teams) over the top expression especially from the female and more this sense of both skaters performing outwards rather then in relation to each other- which is so important (at least to me) in a dance that is just the man and the woman- there has to be that connection and communication there.

#cd:argentine tango

[cody-apexart]

Day 18

Today I am so tired. I usually don't use elevators, especially for less than 4 flights of stairs, but I must confess-- i have been taking the elevator up to my second floor apartment. I have been so tired, I'm not acting like myself, like taking an elevator up 2 flights is not my style.

jazz dance class was wild. they had me rolling over my shoulders onto my chest. This is one of the more "out of my comfort zone" activities that have been on my schedule. im not great at synchronized movement, and the people that regularly attend class are practicing for their recital so i was catching up on choreography people already learned. tbh he kept teaching diff parts and i never been to dance class before so i kept forgetting them not realizing i had to stitch them all together in the end. dance class wasnt bad, but mostly it made me think i should start doing yoga again when i get home...i like stretching more slowly and with more thought about where my body is than just moving to the beat of a song.

so glad i got to go to the Dogma Collection of Vietnamese wartime propaganda posters. The collection manager invited me to an opening tomorrow, and to be honest, I am deff ditching game night at coffee talk tomorrow to go to the gallery opening. again, not sure if i would ditch if i didnt ready know the vibes at coffee talk from the previous cultural meet up yall sent me to there. anyway, chau my local contact was at the collection, along with another local artist who have bother made work around the way women were portrayed in these posters. it was great to hear their perspectives, and learn about the means of the posters, and how the Vietnamese govt. encouraged their citizens to carry on throughout the war. the divide between north and south is ever more apparent. this nixon poster is probably the most interesting and easy for an american to understand--

on the walk from the bus stop to the collection, i finally got a change to take some pictures and look around under an elevated roadway. I keep passing by these lush overflow ready channels, but this is the first time ive been on foot.

sometimes when i pass by on the roads, this is open, but today it was closed. i have so many questions about flooding and stormwater management but just like at home, it seems most people dont really know facts, just lived experience turned myth--

have i mentioned everyone looks at me like i have four heads when I say i have been taking the bus and walking to places? it feels like it's really motor bike or bust out here. i'm so tired. and my last 7 meals have been soup or instant ramen. im over broth for now.

#Cody Herrmann #Outbound to Ho Chi Minh City

[riboonies]

I posted 205 times in 2022

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I tagged 194 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#art - 89 posts

#enstars - 20 posts

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Longest Tag: 43 characters

#they are happy little blobs and i love them

My Top Posts in 2022:

Enstars MV Review - 'Believe 4 leaves'

Hello!

I’ve wanted to do this kind of thing for a while and I hope to make it into a little series as I really enjoy these sorts of things!

Our point of discussion today will be ALKALOID’S latest mv: ‘Believe 4 leaves’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amQWzsFo-7I

I’ll start with saying I am VERY HAPPY ABOUT MAYOI BEING CENTER!! He’s vocals have always stood out to me in past songs and I think this role in the song really did him good!

I was really unsure of this concept when I first started watching as it was not what I expected at all from them- but as it went along I really enjoyed it! I’m really happy to see how Happy Elements is expanding on the way they make these mv’s!

The setting was very different from usual and gave me ‘Castle in the Sky’ vibes, which is always a good thing.

It went really well with the STORYLINE they decided to include in this- another thing Happy Elements has started putting in (another example being fine’s ‘Feather of Arc’.) Fans can interrupt what is going on which I think a lot of us will have fun with.

Aira being upset at the start caught me off guard, it was interesting to see that level of emotion.

And then we got Mayoi’s relieved smile that was somehow filled with raw emotion??

I LOVED THE CHOREOGRAPHY- Enstars MV’s tend to have some pretty good dances but this one was definitely one of the best I’ve seen. It gave me kpop vibes a lot with the style, especially the part at the very start (stream WA DA DA by Kep1er). It didn’t get boring and is one that I think some fans would really enjoy learning!

And now for the best part about the mv…. MAYOI’S VOCALS???!?

Now don’t get me wrong, I think all the members have really nice vocals and flow really well together, but Mayoi really stole the spotlight in this one.

He had a LOT of high notes- and literally all of them were very unique. Some were very raspy and sounded really funny but they fit the song so they’re still good (ex. 1:09, 1:55). And then the others were GODLIKE and made me scREAM BECAUSE LIKE OKOEE (ex. 1:44 and 2:11).

So overall this is probably one of the best enstar mv’s I’ve seen as it was good in all the parts it should be. I really hope to see more enstar mv’s like this because it was really well done! Um thank you for reading, I hope it was actually interesting for some of you! I’d like to do this again and hopefully gain more structure for how I do it! Thank you!!!

24 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

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#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[ariesjupiter]

Mitski Birth Chart Reading

This is just my interpretation based on Mitski’s birth chart and what I know of her music. Let me know if you have any suggestions of someone I should make a post on next! If you’re interested, I offer natal chart readings, just check my pinned post!

Libra sun: In terms of basic personality and ego, Mitski is focused on creating balanced, harmonic relationships. Intimate, one-on-one relationships are a major part of her identity. Libra is ruled by venus which represents love and beauty. After all, she is known for her lyrics relating to her romantic relationships. The lyric “I love everybody because I love you” is so profoundly Libra to me. She is friendly and charming. She sees herself reflected and other people and people see themselves reflected in her (for better or worse). Venus also rules the arts and Mitski is a natural artist in every sense of the word. Her music sonically is very unique, inventive, and creative as she experiments with mixing different genres. This is influenced by her sun in the 11th house. Sun in the 11th house also indicates an emphasis on friendships and memberships of certain groups and communities. It also indicates an importance of her hopes and dreams. Her sun in 3° explains why she is such a talented writer, communicator, and lyricist. Peak libra sun culture: “Young adult romance is the shit” (a real quote from the queen herself). And let’s not forget her iconic quote from 2016: “I’m a libra so my sexuality is essentially “you can really be any gender as long as you treat me like a princes.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Capricorn moon: Despite how personal her music is, Mitski is a rather private and reserved person, particularly when it comes to expressing her emotions. Also, Capricorn is associated with the father and she has been known to be especially private regarding her dad’s career. She is serious and intense with emotions but can sometimes get detached. The emphasis is on having control over her feelings. She is ambitious and a practical person. Her emotions are connected to her career. Those who do not know her well may see her as cold. In temperament she tends to be melancholic. Emotionally mature and wise beyond her years. Straightforward and honest with her expression. She is dependable, loyal, hard working, & realistic. Emotional fulfillment is often tied to achievement and success. Her moon in the 2nd house and 2° suggests material comforts make her feel safe. With the 2nd house being associated with venus, she is able to express her emotions in an artistic way. Could be protective over material objects. Sentimental. Music has a big impact on her emotions and mood. Peak capricorn moon culture: “I didn’t really feel anything. I’ve stopped feeling things for a long time” - Mitski, The Fader Interview, 2017. In all seriousness, I hope my capricorn moons are doing good.

Virgo mercury: Mitski is practical and detail oriented when it comes to communication and matters of learning. She takes the time to choose the right words to convey her thoughts. She is clear and concise. Mercury is in its sign of rulership here. Her mercury in the 10th house suggests that she will be known for her communication style. Has a lot of thoughts but is also organized. Analytical. Mitski likes making lists. Loves to give advice. Mercury is in 16° (cancer degree) and she has a soft spoken voice. Talks about the past and her roots (cancerian themes).

Virgo venus: In love, Mitski will assume a caretaking role and will gladly help her partner finish mundane tasks and chores. A devoted and faithful lover. Love is about the mundane and routine details of life. Love is about service. Acts of service tend to be virgo venus’ main love language. She wants to help improve her partner’s life. She is patient and observant. Values love that is simple and authentic. Appreciates a partner with whom she can have intellectual conversations. May have a tendency to be too critical on herself when it comes to love. Venus rules aesthetics & style and she tends to have a modest fashion sense. Mitski has voiced her interest in astrology and how she has asked people she’s interested for their birth times lmao. Her venus is in the 11th house, she treats a lover like she would treat a friend. In fact, romantic love probably equates to platonic love in her book. She has her venus in 24° which is a pisces degree, which explains this natural interest in astrology.

Gemini mars: Could be impatient because she moves quickly. Efficient. Has a lot of goals and likes to keep busy. She thrives when she talks to others and exchanged ideas. Likes to multitask. Very versatile. Probably has a flirty, bubbly energy when she’s attracted to someone. Attracted to intellect. Desire to see things from multiple perspectives. Gemini rules the hands so she’s skilled with playing instruments and writing. Likes to try new things. Witty and humorous. Could have nervous energy or fidget often.

Leo jupiter: The planet of luck and expansion in Leo is a big indicator of fame. Her jupiter is also in the 9th house and in 7°. Jupiter in the 9th indicates being born in a different country from where you reside now. Mitski is biracial and has lived in multiple countries growing up. She loves to learn, particularly about other cultures and ways of life. She is open minded, philosophical and values freedom and being independent. She attracts good fortune when she travels (touring!) and also when she focuses on partnerships/intimate relationships (7°). Combining this energy, Mitski attracts luck when she acts dramatically, demonstrates/teaches her knowledge, expresses herself artistically, shows her warm hearted and sometimes stubborn side, & takes chances, shows her bravery, and takes the lead. Be the Cowboy is big leo energy 🤠

Capricorn saturn: Mitski is responsible, practical, goal-oriented, and cautious. With saturn in the 3rd house, she probably had to grow up quickly and become mature at a young age. Capricorn saturn people tend to be very successful people. Strong willed. Tendency to be quiet and is a good listener. Could also be outspoken. With saturn in 18° (virgo degree), she’s very hard working but she may need to learn how to take a break and let herself rest and recharge.

Capricorn uranus: This placement also indicates that she goes after her goals and is efficient and practical in achieving them. Uranus being in the 2nd house shows that she could make money from being unique and groundbreaking. 2nd house also rules the voice! Her values are unique and she could be resistant to change them. Her self esteem could be in a constant state of flux and be tied to money. Her income could rapidly change, like maybe she did not get paid much but then suddenly she starts making a lot of money. Uranus is in 5° which is a fame degree. She’s famous for being authentically herself and very much an individual in the industry that can’t be compared.

Capricorn neptune: Capricorn neptunes are most likely realists. She is skilled at going after her dreams. Her dreams are practical and connected to themes of wealth, power, and control. Neptune in 3rd house shows a dreamy, poetic way of communicating. A very creative placement. Dreamy vibes. Could be elusive in communication, open for interpretation. Neptune is in 11° so this gives aquarian energy. Idealistic with friends and always searching for ways to achieve her dreams.

Scorpio pluto: Her power lies in her ability to analayze human interactions and be introspective with herself since it’s in the 1st house. She is very self aware. Mitski understands that life is about going through changes and she welcomes the ability to grow and rebuild. She has intense, deep emotions but has control over them and how she expresses them. Pluto in 16° adds a cancerian energy. Her strength lies in her ability to nurture and be empathetic.

Scorpio rising: First impressions of Mitski can be that she’s mysterious and secretive. A powerful and intimidating presence. This explains to me why she loves dressing in black. She probably has a strong dislike for anything superficial. She likes to get to know people on a deeper level and connect with them. She likes honesty and is probably very perceptive and intuitive. Privacy is so important to her! She has a lot of layers and wants people to unpack them, but it may take her a while to open up. She is powerful and has endurance. Her presence leaves an impact on people. Loyalty and intimacy is important. She’s not afraid to talk about taboo topics or scary, heavier emotions. Passionate and even a tendency to get fixed on or obsessed with something or someone. Her rising is in 15° (gemini degree) so she’s clever, curious, and thinks quickly. a little more flexible than a regular Scorpio rising would be.

Leo midheaven: People might see her as dramatic or arrogant. In the public eye, she was meant to be a performer. At her concerts she’s known for putting on a good show & includes interpretive dance and choreography. She becomes herself more when she’s on stage. The stage is where she shines. Has a lot of pride connected to her career. Reputation for creatively expressing herself and being brave and taking risks. Wants to be admired, especially regarding her career. Her purpose is to become a leader. Mc in 22° (capricorn degree) shows that she is a very hard worker when it comes to her career. She won’t let anyone stop her when it comes to achievement and success in her field. Another indicator of being at the top of her career and being publicly recognized for it!

TLDR: Mitski is a natural born singer, performer and artist. She is unique, talented, and an introspective writer. Being earth and water dominant, she balances practicality & stability with sentimentality & raw emotion. With all of her Capricorn placements, she is grounded and doesn’t let fame get to her head. Her chart ruler is Scorpio pluto in the 1st which means that major transformations will be a big theme in her life, especially regarding herself & her identity. She is always reflecting and looking at herself on a deep level.

#mitski #astrology #astro blog #astroblr #astro community #astro notes #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology notes #birth chart #natal chart #birth chart reading #natal chart reading #libra sun #capricorn moon #scorpio rising #celeb charts #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #working for the knife

[its-chelisey-stuff]

I watched “Imitation” and it was surprising (... okay, I loved it!)

Full disclosure: If you haven’t the slightest interest in kpop, not even in the drama or juicy gossip that produces, this won’t be your thing. I know it’s not a drama for everyone. Stop reading. Just know that OTP (and most characters) had a happy ending but there was a bunch of drama to achieve it. Typical. And a death may or may not have been in the mix.  

Well well well... I'm pleasantly surprised, that's the perfect three word review for this drama. It would seem that when those little projects that come out of nowhere and you have no expectations about, turn out to be even a little big good, they made the strongest impression. And this drama is up there in my top 3 of favorite dramas of the year, it has my heart.

Yes, it was about kpop idols and 90% of the cast was made of idols (even one from the very first kpop gen hahaha), yet the acting was decent (and from some, truly great), yes sometimes it got a bit cheesy and silly and yes, there was a ton of drama concerning fans, reporters, dating scandals and bad and greedy CEOs of entertainment agencies BUT it was also sweet, really romantic, funny, lively, full of music (I'm OBSESSED with the last OST which was sung by the whole cast, it makes me FEEL things) and dancing, it had lots friendship and found family AND at times, it was heartbreakingly tragic.

I think this drama tried to tell the audience two important lessons, worthy of mention: the first, work hard for your dreams, don't give up on them but also, you never know what opportunities might come your way that could end up changing your direction and perhaps make you chase something that you never thought you would, so persevere, breathe and hang in there just a bit more; the second, one that we all know if you have a little bit of sense and even if you are mildly informed about the k entertainment which is that idols are just people(most of them teens when they debut some not even 18) who want to and deserve to have a pretty f-ing normal life, so f-ing let them! the consequences of putting these youngsters over a pedestal are catastrophic and there are real life, heartbreaking, examples of this.

Main characters

Ryok: the Golden Boy of kpop, from the most popular boy group, also a an actor (a decent one? Idk they never said). Perfect in every single aspect, except when he is nice to girls who aren't his fans, then they will crucify him. SUPER clumsy whenever his crush is nearby and does something he finds cute, otherwise super cool and chill. Also great at pining for his crush. A romantic, which means he chose the worst career path. My favorite character.

Maha: A bright and optimistic girl with a strong might of perseverance in going after her dreams. Loves dancing. Very sweet and very tiny. Despite appearances, she's not a pushover or weak FL. And that's why I loved her.

Yujin: Second ML by the book. Became an idol because he was pursuing FL (who in turn was pursuing ML). The only reason why I never hated him is because he was a great friend, knew he wasn't doing anything healthy and decided to end his one sided love and opened his eyes. Two words: Character development *chef's kiss*

LaRiMa: A soloist. A Queen. At the start, it looked like she was the typical and mean second FL. But she wasn't, and I adored her for that. She had a heart of gold. She deserved the world, and she knew that so she made decisions accordingly (a Queen chases no one, least of all a man!) lol best character in the drama and my second favorite character (sorry Maha!)

Also starring: The members of SHAX (the leader, SF9′s Hwiyoung, the maknae from Ateez and the funny guy who spoke random english) the group of Golden Boy. Tea Party members (bffs with FL, Riah and HyunJi), Maha’s group. Sparkling members (the very angry and frustrated leader and two members of Ateez whose names I don’t know), second ML group. AND in the longest and most important cameo (ala Go Kyung Pyo in My roommate is a Gumiho) SF9′s Chani, a former member of SHAX, who disappeared into thin air one day.

The story

On paper it doesn't sound like anything groundbreaking (and tbh it really wasn't lol): a story about idols who willingly chose their career path, trained for years while underage, got treated like products by ugly men in suits and realized it kinda sucked, especially when you don't become a hit group and have to protect your personal life like it's a dirty secret that could damage your image and maybe end your career this is why I said it’s not a show for everyone. But this drama is what Dream High 2 (2012) wanted to be and never could in the aspect of actually making you feel something for these idols and the situations they were facing while loving the musical side of the show and making it all believable.

Even if it's not exactly about teens in high school sort of thing, it does give you the same hopeful and uplifting feeling of a coming of age story, especially because the characters are still youngsters trying to be happy and realize their dreams for the future.

You can just stop reading here if you want to go watch the drama with no spoilers. And if I haven’t convinced you despite not being appalled by kpop themed dramas, then I guess you should keep reading lol or trust in my taste and judgement when I say the story is worth it (but to be fair the first two eps are a bit slow).

The romance (super spoilery!)

At the core, this show was a love story. What started the plot is the fact that main couple reunite in the same work field as idols, and they actually met and befriended each other years ago; so being older and able to spent more time together brings them closer to finally accept and give into their feelings, but soon enough their relationship becomes a ticking bomb threatening their careers and then this big mystery of how and why SF9' Chani disappeared and abandoned the group becomes really important in the last third of the drama

Because once upon a time, Chani had a gf but she was still a trainee so once their love was exposed (the truth of who exposed him is devastating) and their respective companies threatened them, it all becomes too much too fast and with seemingly no other way out, the girl makes a terrible decision, that ends up changing the lives of most of the characters.

I’m sure this is from a bts but their chemistry was really good and sweet. Also, height difference to die for!!

Yet, there is a happy ending for main couple but it's only achieved after certain people learn from their mistakes and support Ryok and Maha, which makes it clear that no matter how in love and willing you are to face adversities for and with your loved one, you still need a support system (and maybe the right people in a position of power) because sometimes two against the world isn't as romantic as it sounds, but sad and lonely.

And the main reason why I loved this is because of the way the show drew a parallel between the two most important couples in the story and tells the audience “had it been even a year before, under different circumstances and less luck, had they had no friends and no people to support them, main couple would’ve ended in the same tragic way” and I think that is a haunting realization. That also makes you appreciate things.

*cries* they were adorable

The bad (spoilers!)

I do wish this drama would’ve elaborated on some bits that were really worth diving into, or that it would’ve shown how some things came intro fruition instead of just skipping it and showing rigth away the outcome of conversations that were never had or reunions never shown. It is clear to me that they wanted to make the drama longer and could have told a better story had it been a 16 ep show. 

Basically yes, the main story, main romance and side couples' arcs got resolved but ugh a list of plot holes:

Why was LaRiMa so obsessed with Ryok for half the drama? The minute the girl knew he was dating someone he truly liked, she gave up right away, so I gotta believe the only reason she didn’t quit on him before, is because he did gave her a reason to hold onto him. Perphaps they dated before? Or maybe they like each other at one point? I can only do fanfiction in my head to explain this.

Why was the angry leader of Sparkling such a bitter bitch? How did he end up in another company?

I wanted to see SF9′s Chani reunion with his ex-members from SHAX.  It NEEDED to happen. At least they showed Chani with Ryok (which was really emotional) but arrgh.

Also, Chani deserved a kneeling apology from SHAX leader, I mean, come on!!

If everyone knew about Maha and Ryeok at some point, they needed to use that. You can’t just have a bomb like that in your drama and not use it. Is a principle of storytelling. You can’t just have the thing that your main characters fear the most, in your hands, and do nothing about it. But I guess it was not done because of lack of time.

Also, they never showed how they announced their relationship. Instagram post? Company statement? An exclusive to Dispatch? And how did the fans took it?? Answers, drama! Damn it!!

Final thoughts

Despite its many flaws, I loved it. It had heart. It seemed low budget and even more so due to the fact that it was done in the middle of the pandemic and a big part of kpop are the fans and concerts, you know what makes it all the more big and shinier. But the drama people and the actors put effort into it, and you could tell (and the fact that there were also original songs and choreographies made for this drama amazes me, and that they chose to promote the drama by having some of these fake groups perform on actual music shows). So there you go, I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Before I finish, let me just say that the actor who played Ryok is a REVELATION in my eyes.This boy needs to stay in dramaland and get more main roles (and after some research I’m happy to say that he is thriving!!). Also, he has great timing for comedy. The actress who played Maha elevated the quality of every scene she was in. (Not for nothing she was God in DAYS). Jiyeon (LaRiMa) was excellent. It really showed at times that she’s not only an experienced idol but also an experienced actress. The contrast with most of the cast was noticeable, sadly. The drama wouldn’t have been the same without these three.

Also, watch AND listen to the last OST sung by the whole cast here. Beautiful song that just makes you cry if you’ve seen the drama.

#imitation #lee jun young #jung jiso #jiyeon #jeong yunho #kbs imitation #kdrama #kdrama review #i wanted to tag all actors but omg that's a nightmare #they're too many

[btsslowburnfic]

Argument with Jin part 2

Part one found HERE

TW: infertility. Lots of people struggle with it, talking about it can help and I'm here if anyone needs an ear :) This is sooo much longer than a reaction but whatever. Enjoy this angsty/fluffy thing

Summary of part 1: Jin’s refusal to even go to the fertility specialist with you after 18 months of trying for a baby leads you,his wife, to walk out on him. ----------------

Jin sat on the couch stunned; crying on and off for the rest of the afternoon. He didn't want to call anyone because he didn't want his friends to know the two of you were fighting. Jin always kept up a cheerful front for the other members as the oldest member. He decided to try and get some sleep. Surely you would come back home after you felt better. He couldn’t bear to go back into the empty bedroom where the two of you had fought so he curled his long body up on the couch.

He woke up around 11 pm to a pitch black apartment. He resisted the urge to instantly start crying again.He took out his phone and texted you.

J: I’m so sorry. please come home.

He sat the phone down and went to get a drink. Mostly just to busy himself. He came back. Nothing.

J: Just let me know you're OK.

J: Please I love you. You don’t have to speak to me just let me know you’re safe or I won’t be able to stop thinking you’re dead in a ditch somewhere. Y/N: I'm fine. I got to where I'm staying. J: I love you.

He didn't receive any more messages from you the rest of the night. He tried to play League of Legends but he just kept finding tears coming down his face again.

He finally fell asleep for around two hours. He threw on some jeans, a shirt, a mask, and a cap and headed into the BigHit building. “Hyung, are you ok? You look sick,” Jimin said as soon as Jin walked in the door.

“I just didn’t sleep well. I’m fine,” he replied. Jimin wasn’t convinced but decided not to press the issue.

The men all started to filter into the studio for choreography practice.

Jimin walked over to Yoongi upon his arrival, “Is everything ok with Jin?”

“I think so. Why?” Yoongi responded as he sipped an iced coffee.

“Just go look at him.” Jimin replied.

Yoongi walked over to where Jin was sitting on the floor half-assed stretching.

“There’s fresh coffee in the lounge if you want some,” he said as he squatted down next to

Jin. Jin looked up at Yoongi, and his puffy and bloodshot eyes were a dead giveaway. “Rough night?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jin replied quietly.

“Fine fine. But remember, we’re here for you.” he patted Jin’s thigh and stood back up. He walked across the practice room and over to Jimin.“Yeah. he’s not fine. "

“What can we do?” Jimin said, always the sensitive friend.

“Nothing right now. He doesn’t want to talk about it so we shouldn't force him to. Text your girlfriend though. Sometimes girls talk about this stuff.”

Jimin raised his eyebrows.”good idea!” he pulled his phone out and sent a quick message.

Jimin: Hey...have you heard from [y/n]? We think Jin is sick but he’s still at work this morning. SexyCutie: Oh no :( I’ll text [y/n].

SexyCutie:hey [y/n]. Is Jin sick? He showed up to work and the other guys are worried.

You looked at your phone. Goddammit. You should have known. Your group of friends, the other group members and their significant others all talked to each other. It was only a matter of time before someone knew something was going on. You tried to decide if you wanted to be diplomatic or not. Sitting in your sweatpants, bloated from your period, and still very much pissed off, you declined taking the high road.

[Y/N]: he’s not sick. We’re fighting. He was being a dick. I left the apartment.

Jimin heard a chirp on his phone a few minutes later. He opened his mouth in surprise at the message.

SexyCutie: He’s not sick. He and [Y/N] got into a big fight and she walked out. Sorry ;-;

Jimin showed his phone to Yoongi who nodded his head in understanding. He was very familiar with these feelings, having argued with his wife about their insane work schedule all the time. He’d spent several nights on the couch and in the studio. However, Jin and [Y/N] had been dating and married for years. He didn’t even know the two of you to argue, let alone have the type of fight where you would just walk out.

The choreographer walked in, signaling that it was time to begin practice. Not surprisingly, Jin half-assed his choreography. His movement was slow, his arms all over the place.

“Jin, hyung, what is going on? We need you here.” Hoseok, ever the strict one with choreography, chided him.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’ll get it,” Jin responded.

They continued a few more times, and Jin only got worse.

Jungkook walked over and tried to make a joke with him about how he looked like a windmill on crack, but Jin just stood there, not laughing.

Hobi was about ready to rip into him when Yoongi walked over to him and whispered, “[Y/N] walked out on him.”

The color drained on his face. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, so just. You know. Let’s just get through today.” Yoongi said, asking for understanding.

“Yeah, ok. Let’s run it again,” he said, sparing Jin the criticism.

They ran through it again, this time with Namjoon getting ready to say something to Jin about his shitty performance. “Namjoon, can you help me with something?” Jimin asked.

Namjoon took his sights off Jin and walked over to Jimin, “Sure what’s up?”

Jimin caught Joon up on the situation as well. “Oh man. That’s Bad. Like real bad. She’s usually so nice and chill.” he put his hands on his hips and turned around to face the rest of the room. “Alright guys, let’s go ahead and break for lunch.”

The staff members and five of the guys head out to the cafeteria. Yoongi stayed behind with Jin, shutting the door. “You’re fighting with [Y/N]?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jin replied, sliding down with his back against the wall to a sitting position.

“Do you know where she went?” Yoongi asked, pressing the issue slightly.

Jin looked up at him, his annoyance clear in his eyes. “It’s no one else’s business.”

Yoongi let out a sigh. “I know you try and keep all of this to yourself because you feel like you have to be the happy and strong one. And I respect you a lot for that. But you can’t always keep stuff like this inside. If you don’t want to talk to me about it, it’s fine. But you should talk to somebody about it.”

“She won’t even text me back,” Jin said quietly, his voice beginning to crack.

Yoongi puffed out his cheeks. “So she’s really upset. Should she be?”

Jin tipped his head back up and looked at the ceiling. His silence said as much as his words could.

“I assume you apologized already?” More silence. “Give her a few days. She’s probably at your brother’s. She’ll come around eventually. You two love each other. It will work out.”

“No. I fucked up really bad this time.” Jin squeaked out, tears falling down his face.

‘It’s nothing the two of you can’t talk about.” Yoongi held out his arm, “Come on, you need to

eat. You have to take care of yourself.” Jin took his hand and got up, still not speaking.

-----------------------

You ignored the rest of the messages from Jimin’s girlfriend. You didn’t want to blast your marital troubles out there more than you already had. You sat there, snuggled under the covers in bed at Jin’s parents house. When you left you had planned on going to Namjoon and his wife’s house but then decided you couldn't handle being around their baby; too painful. It was the same with Taehyung’s very pregnant wife. And just last week Jimin’s girlfriend had confided in you that she was expecting. Ugh. You were very happy for all of your friends, but it was just too much right now. And so, you found yourself a mere 2 minute walk away from your own apartment. Fortunately for you Jin’s mom hadn’t asked you what the problem was when you showed up carrying your bags and tears in your eyes, she just hugged you and took your things to the guest bedroom saying something about how “marriage is hard work sometimes.”

You snuggled up to your fluffy baby RJ pillow. You missed Jin but you were just still so angry. You kept replaying the shitty thing he said to you, “Maybe you could get pregnant if you weren't so sad all the time.” Jin was hardly ever mean to anybody; but never you. Even when he was tired or stressed out, he never took it out on you. You had no idea what your end game was. You wanted a baby. But not without Jin. But if he wasn’t willing to go to the doctor with you then what were you supposed to do? It seemed like such a small thing to ask especially after the 18 months you had been through. You sighed and walked out to get yourself a drink of water.

----------

The rest of practice went well enough with all the guys’ knowing well enough to leave Jin alone.

The guys all started saying their goodbyes. Namjoon walked over to Jin. “You going home?”

“No. I’m staying at the dorm tonight. I just can’t.” Jin’s voice cracked. “If she’s still not home, I can’t...” he couldn’t finish as he started sobbing again. While he was at work he was able to push his thoughts to the side but now that he had to deal with the fact that he should be going home to you, and instead had nothing to go home to, he found himself unable to cope.

“Hey man. Seriously. Just talk to her when she’s ready. Whatever happened between the two of you, think about why it happened and what you can do to keep it from happening again.”

“She won’t even answer me,” Jin cried.

“Did you apologize for what you specifically did? When I’m mad, people just saying “I’m sorry” seems like a fast way out, like a way to bandage something rather than actually fixing the problem. Maybe start there and see what happens.”

Jin sniffled as Namjoon handed him some tissue. “Ok, yeah. I’ll try that. I’m sorry I was worse than normal today. You even danced better than me,” he tried to joke. Namjoon rolled his eyes and smiled, “Good luck, hyung. A good marriage takes effort.” Jin nodded and pulled out his phone.

Jin: I can’t go home knowing you’re not there. I’m staying in the dorms. I love you. I’m sorry I said it was your fault we can’t get pregnant. If I could take it back I would. But I can’t. Please know it’s not your fault. Truthfully,I’m afraid it’s my fault we can’t have a baby and it’s my pride keeping me from wanting to go to the doctor. That doesn’t excuse anything. I would like to talk to you about this more in person.

You looked over at your phone. Jin’s mom had coaxed you out onto the coach by baking cookies and the two of you were watching an older K-Drama. You picked it up and read the message. Fresh tears stung your eyes. You pinched them shut and the tears rolled down.

“Is that Jin?” she asked.

“‘Yeah.”

“I don’t know what he did. I’m sure it was bad if you left though. But, I know my son and I know he loves you more than anything. I also know sometimes his mouth moves faster than his brain.”

“I know.” you answered quietly. You sighed and took out your phone.

[Y/N]: I appreciate the apology. I can talk tomorrow after work. I’ll see you at the apartment.

[Jin]: Thank you Jagiya. I love you so much.

You put your phone back down and settled into the couch once more. His mom thankfully didn’t try to ask you anything about it. You had definitely lucked out in the in-law department.

Jin slept slightly better that night knowing he was going to see you tomorrow. But he still didn’t know exactly what to say or what he should do to make it better.

He heard the door to the dorm open and shut and then the coffee grinder. Jin put a robe on and wandered out.

“Yoongi-ah what are you doing here? It’s 2 in the morning.” Jin asked, his eyes adjusting to the lights.

“Couldn’t sleep. My wife is out of town. Might as well be here,” he shrugged and poured the coffee grounds into the machine. “What about you?”

“[Y/N] is still gone, but she agreed to see me tomorrow.” Jin responded, feeling more like sharing now that he knew he was going to see you again.

“Good, good. How are you planning on fixing it?”

“I don’t really know how. I was just so scared of her leaving me.” Jin admitted.

“Well, I hope you have more to say before you meet her tomorrow. Coffee?” Yoongi offered.

Jin shook his head. How on earth could Yoongi be drinking coffee at 2 am? “Yeah. I know. Ok. I’ll tell you what happened. But don’t tell anyone else.”

Yoongi blinked slowly, still not 100% awake. He wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. “Yeah, ok.” Yoongi sat down at the kitchen island as Jin told him everything. How you had been trying for a baby for 18 months, how each month you bawled your eyes out, how you wanted to see a specialist, and how he had completely shut it down.

Yoongi sat his cup down. “Make the damn doctor’s appointment.”

“What?”

“Go get your shit looked at so you guys can have kids. It’s not a big deal. Joon and his wife had IUI. You might not even need to do anything like that. Just go and get tested.”

Jin’s eyes bugged out slightly, “Really?”

Yoongi shrugged, “Yeah. Like you said, it’s no one’s business, but if it helps you get over this weirdness you have about it I’m sure you could ask him about it.”

“I just don’t want them to stick a tube all up in there,” Jin gestured to his lap area.

Yoongi laughed, “That’s a vasectomy you idiot. That’s like the opposite: when you don’t want kids”

Jin’s face grew red. “I knew that...I was talking about…nevermind.”

“Look, I’ll text Joon and find out the doctor’s name. Make the appointment, show [y/n] you’re serious about it. And even if they wanted to stick a damn needle up there, your wife has to give birth. Man up.” Yoongi clapped him on the shoulder and heard towards the studios, “I’ll text Namjoon and get back with you.”

Jin was still red with embarrassment, “Thanks Yoongi-ah.”

--------------

You walked a block over to your apartment, wondering if Jin was already there or if you would be the first to arrive. Your eyes had bags under them and part of you was so excited to see jin. It had always been like that; ever since you first started dating him. Every time he came home from practice, from the tours, or even from the corner store, you were so excited to see his face. You pressed your fob to the door and walked in, seeing Jin’s shoes by the door. You put your purse down and removed your shoes, quietly walking into the living room. Jin was sitting on the couch with a laptop and notepad sitting out, which was very un-Jin like. You hadn’t seen him look remotely studious since he finished his Master’s degree.

His eyes looked up at you and his face softened, “Jagiya.” He walked over and wrapped his arms around you. You allowed yourself to relax into them. “I’m so sorry,” you heard him say as his lips pressed against the top of your head.

You let yourself stay there for another minute. “We need to talk about this.”

“Absolutely, come have a seat,” ge gestured to the couch. Jin was being so mature and grown-up, it really surprised you. You were afraid he was just going to hug you and point out his handsome face and try to get you to laugh, but he was actually taking this seriously.

You walked over to the sofa and sat down, trying hard not to snoop at what was written down on the paper.

He sat down beside you and took your hands in his. “I was a total idiot the other day. What I said to you was mean and unforgivable. I meant what I texted yesterday. It was my pride that has kept me from wanting to see a doctor because it makes me feel less manly to think that you know...that there’s something wrong…” he fidgets uncomfortably.

“With your sperm?” you continue.

He nods his head. This whole topic is clearly very uncomfortable for him. His entire face is red and he can’t look at you.

“But. If we want children. And I do. I want children with you [Y/N]. A little you and me running around here. I know that I need to just suck it up. I’m sorry that things had to come to this for me to make that realization.”

You had started to cry a little bit. Jin made eye contact with you for a second and gently wiped your tears away.

“I love you so much. And I was afraid you were going to leave me. And I’m nothing without you [Y/N]. You’re my home. Everything I do is meaningless if you’re not around to share it with me. So please, forgive me and try to forget that I ever blamed you for anything. You have been nothing but kind and patient with me.” he brings your hands up and kisses them.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, afraid that if you talk louder you'll start sobbing and won’t be able to stop.

“So, I’ve talked to a few people and this here is supposed to be one of the top fertility specialists in Seoul. I thought about just making the appointment but I didn’t want to do that without getting your opinion since it’s such an important thing.”

You couldn’t believe what you are hearing, you are so happy. You started crying for a different reason, “Are you serious?” you ask.

“Rarely. But today, right now, with you, about having a baby. Yes. Now this Dr. Helped Namjoon and his wife out as well and he has a lot of extra certifications and….” Jin went on and on about this doctor and you gently slid up next to him, grabbed his face and turned it towards yours for a kiss.

“Thank you so much Jin.”

“I should have done this 6 months ago when you first asked me,” he shook his head.

“Better late than never,” you said as you snuggled into his side. The two of you started writing down questions to ask the office; finally on the same page about the next step in this chapter of your lives.

#bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts jin x you #bts jin x reader #bts seokjin x reader #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts fic #bts fluff #bts angst

[thewhizzyhead]

HELLO SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED MISFITS AND SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED GRADE 11 (i posted about that musical draft thingy back in march and um yea there have been a lot of changes fjxjf) AND GUESS WHAT DUDES I HAVE MORE MUSICAL CONCEPT SHITS TO RAMBLE ABOUT BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS WAY TOO HYPERACTIVE FOR MY OWN GOOD SO SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY THIS CLUSTERFUCK

@ari-is-anxious have fun with this and i wish you the best of luck in trying to comprehend this-

+ Kasaysayan (which means History) - this is the 2nd musical concept thingy i made (the first one being Misfits) and yea i started thinking of this went I was 14. I kinda wanted it to tell a story of like the entirety of philippine history as narrated by students and i wanted to kinda emphasize how history has many faces and how many different factors essentially blur our perspective of what we view as the past. I also wanted to like draw parallels between what our ancestors have experienced and what we currently experience esp when it comes to sociopolitical and economic stuffs and I wanted to like correct a lot of misconceptions about ph history and provide more insight and info about ph's past (i.e how centuries of colonialism have affected our current culture and overall social mindset esp in regards to our want for validation from foreigners aka the whole #PinoyPride thing; how even though activism and revolution is like the main reason on as to why the Philippines even exists, it continues to be demonized here; the ideologies of some of our revolutionary heroes and presidents and why some of them are dicks; etc etc). Also I wanted to showcase like um PH music, art, and dance and how that has progressed and also regressed throughout the years (*shakes fist at colonizers*) and um YEA YOU CAN SEE WHY I EVENTUALLY AND RATHER QUICKLY DISCONTINUED THIS TJCJSJF THIS IS *NOT* DOABLE AT ALL THSJFHF it could work as a concept album and a one-time performance BUT NOT LIKE A LEGIT PRODUCTION SO YEA FOR NOW IT WILL STAY IN THE DRAFT FOLDER FJXNSJF but yea this idea then led to the next two ideas woo

+ Noli/Fili - started wanting to make this at the start of quarantine so like um march 2020 heck i even made a wholeass word doc for this fjdjdv so it's basically a ph-rock-rap-based musical adaptation of Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere (Touch Me Not) and El Filibusterismo (The Filibuster) (yes these two novels are like tne national novels here since rizal is our national here and yea these were originally written in Spanish) but the protagonist of El Fili (Simoun) takes charge of telling Noli's story in Act 1 while Noli's protag (Crisostomo Ibarra) takes charge of telling Fili's story in Act 2. Those two books have very different tones and those two characters have um VERY DIFFERENT world views so i thought it would be interesting to tell one's story through the eyes of someone different and yet also the same to provide a lot more insight on how the events in the novels affected these two protags (there is a Good Reason for this and um Filipinos who studied this in 9th and 10th grade know what i'm talking about fhshf if u wanna um know what i'm talking about and don't wanna read the novels (they are very long) i suggest looking up El Filibusterismo and um yea check out Simoun fjsjf). Like for example, there would be times that Noli's narrator (Simoun) (whose general demeanor is like um a lot more cunning and cynical and a lot more resentful of the events that have happened compared to Fili's narrator) would directly question the Noli protag's (Ibarra) actions while Fili's narrator (Ibarra) (he is a lot more um hopeful and peaceful compared to Simoun) often questions how Fili's protag (Simoun) turned into well um a very cynical and cunning person with a taste for revenge (I am trying my hardest to NOT spoil the novels here gjdjf) and yea because the story is set in Spanish Colonial times here, i wanna focus more on the sociopolitical aspects and problems in the novels and how those still remain relevant here, hence the ph-rock-rap-based music. Also I would like to point out that the curriculum here barely like goes into depth about the subject matter of the novels (esp the sociopolitcal parts) and how said subject matter shaped the characters here and HOW EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS DAMN NOVEL IS STILL RELEVANT,,,so um basically the curriculum is currently missing the entire point of the novels since Rizal wrote these two with the intent to provide socioecononic and political commentary on the pure shit that many of the Filipinos experienced under Spanish colonial rule,,,SO THIS THINGY IS BASICALLY MY MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CURRICULUM AND ESSENTIALLY MY ATTEMPT TO SHOW MORE OF THE NOVELS COMPARED TO WHAT HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO US FJJSJFV this is gonna be a nightmare to write tho cause wow those novels are jampacked

+ Patron - if this ever becomes a thing, I will consider it the greatest thing i'll ever write gjcjdbc I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE A THINGY AAAA so the plot is barebones atm but it's basically about journalism and activism here in the Philippines (and how both can get you killed fjjsjf i'm not kidding these two can legit get you killed wah redtagging sucks shit and the anti terror law can suck even more shit) and how the youth are expected to be purveyors of the country's advancement and improvement despite the fact that our voices are oftentimes dismissed and even permanently silenced when what we say goes against what those in power want us to say,,,those this is basically Misfit's spiritual successor fjxjdjf both of those musicals share similar themes fjxns so yea expect me ranting about a lot of political stuff here and a lot of talking about the ideologies of past and present politics and revolutions and how those affect the masses and how the masses can shape them in return. There will also be talk on how journalism's role in shaping society and how proper dissemination of information and lack thereof can affect people's mindsets aND HOW JOURNALISM IS OFTENTIMES MANIPULATED TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE'S MINDSETS (STUDENT JOURNALIST AND ASPIRING PROFESSIONAL JOURNALIST'S RANTS GO BRRRRR YEA I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT).

Oh and also this musical is heavily inspired by both the noli and el fili novels and by spring awakening (Everything I Write Will Be Inspired By Spring Awakening dbjxd) in a sense that Act 1's active protagonist (who then becomes Act 2's passive protag) is named Elias and is based on both Elias from Rizal's novels and on Melchior Gabor (which is funny cause rizal's elias is NOTHING LIKE MELCHIOR GABOR SO UM LOOK IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO EXPLAIN JUST UM YEA IT'S MESSY) while the passive protagonist (who becomes the active protag by the end of act 1 and throughout the entire 2nd act) is named Cris Ibarra and is based on Moritz Stiefel and Rizal's Ibarra (more specifically um Rizal's Ibarra's growth into a very different character throughout the events of the two novels).

ALSOOO there is this one concept that made me really REAALLY want to make Patron an actual thingy and that is the existence of um Shadows in the show. Inspired by the voices in Deaf West Speing Awakening, these Shadows can always be found lurking on stage alongside their respective characters like um if Elias is in a scene, his shadow can also be found on stage somewhere. I kinda want them to like represent the characters' innermost thoughts and the other parts of themselves the characters' would like to hide through how the Shadows act on stage and um yea choreography gjsjf Patron is porbably gonna be very dance heavy so um yea it's a bit hard to explain so i'll just point to Alex Boniello and Daniel Durant's Moritz fjxjjf i kinda want it to be like that. The Shadows would be part of the show's ensemble and um yea lots of dancing and prop moving woo also at times they would be singing for the character they are assigned to like um while Elias would be in the middle of doing something on stage, his Shadow would be the one singing in his stead and when his Shadow sings, that's when the character becomes the most vulnerable to the audience because the Shadows often expose their characters' thoughts and worries to the audience that the characters themselves wouldn't really express. So like um the Shadows address the audience a lot gjxjsjd except for one aka Ibarra's Shadow. Instead of addressing the audience, Ibarra's shadow addresses IBARRA directly, often questioning Ibarra's actions (especially their hesitance in Act 1). ig ibarra's shadow is rather representative of what Ibarra would turn into in Act 2 when they take over as the Active protag. But um Ibarra's shadow still questions Ibarra frequently esp in regards to their risky actions so um yea Ibarra's shadow is kinda like the Fates the hadestown wherein they serve to sow doubt but over here Ibarra's shadow is meant to symbolize how insecure they feel in regards to their decisions which well, as the protag, make and break the show. Also um yea the rest of the characters' shadows also start addressing their characters more while the characters themselves start addressing the audience more so woo switcheroo! Also the dynamic that the characters have with each other is similar to the dynamics between the kids in Spring Awakening wherein they are just kids (well in this cause young adults aged 18-20) trying to figure out life in general and all that so woo

(also I would like to note that I really want Ibarra's role to be open to all genders in order to like make a statement that anyone can grow into the character Ibarra becomes throughout Patron but rn hmm i'm still thinking about how that will play out especially given that I kinda wanted Patron's Ibarra to have two love interests here aka Elias and Clara (kiiiiinda based on Maria Clara aka Ibarra's actual love interest from Rizal's novels but um YEA THERE ARE A LOT OF DEVIATIONS GJXSF) but tbh i'm still figuring out a way to make Clara have a much larger role here in terms of pushing the plot cause rn the Elias and Ibarra dynamic have an advantage since um active-passive protagonist switcheroo so I'm kinda thinking of a way to make Clara a secret 3rd protag that is both an active and a passive one? I dunno fjsjd honestly i'm still trying to figure out what Maria Clara represents in the novels cause I know for certain that Rizal did not write her to be a mere demure love interest so um yea WORK IN PROGRESS AND UM ALL IN ALL IBARRA CAN BE PLAYED BY ANY AND ALL GENDERS AND IBARRA IS PANSEXUAL BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT THEM TO BE GJSJJF)

+ Grade 12 - OKI SO LIKE I'VE POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BACK IN MARCH BUT UM I'VE CHANGED SOME STUFF GJXJJD so anyways Grade 12 is well um designed to be a campy-please-don't-take-this-seriously-this-is-just-for-laughs-and-gags musical about 12th graders (i changed the grade to raise the stakes) that makes fun of Filipino TV tropes esp when related to teenagers while also providing a lit more insight on ad to what teenagers go through on a daily basis in terms of trying to grow into the person they want themselves to be while also trying to change to adapt to a world that more often that not goes against them. So yea it's not as heavy as the other musicals, heck I designed this after Preston Max Allen's Carrie 2 musical (dude check it out it has jenny rose baker and it's gold) so woo funsies but i also like this to mean something. Oh and also this is basically me ranting about Everything Wrong In The Philippine Education System (how it more often than not is really detrimental to the students' personal wellbeings through constant overwork and disregard of physical, mental and emotional health issues, its accessibility issues esp the issues experiences by those of the poorer sectors, the um very outdated info at times, how the system perpetuates classism and a shit ton of very detrimental social hierarchy bullshits esp through the implementation of the star sections (speaking as someone who's been in the "lower" sections and has also been in the star sections, I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT THIS ONE OH BOY FUN FACT I WANTED TO MAKE AN ACADEMIC PAPER ON THIS BUT MY 10TH GRADE TEACHER WOULDN'T LET ME) etc etc) plot is mainly barebones atm but um yea here are some of the updates to the characters: Kyla (formerly named Kate), Noel and Ella haven't changed that much but um I've decided to give the Halos Lagi Nalang number to Kyla and Max (nonbinary student that serves as a foil to Kyla in which Max is constantly being denied opportunities that they want while Kyla constantly refuses opportunities that Max wants; also yea i'll be talking about stories that trans and nonbinary students have experienced in both of my high schools through Max cause i really wanna bring attention to how the trans and nonbinary community is really being shat on despite the um sliiight improvement in the way schools treat the (cisgender) members of the lgbtq+ community; also they are just as ambitious as Ella (i envision her to be like um Draft Eva + Riley jfhdf) um yea major plot pusher woo I'd compare them to Draft Eva + Reese but um I Sincerely And Solemnly Promise To Not Screw Them Over In Act 2 fjjxfj) instead because they will be the ones with queerness being a much bigger factor to their individual plotlines compared to Noel and Ella.

The other main characters are um Marco (typical jock dude who's actually one of the more philosophical and introspective characters in the show; i want to like um highlight the whole sports scholarships debacle, how stereotypes can affect how people are treated in real life and also touch on the machismo culture that's um really being enforced here esp with him being an athlete and all; also he's really good friends with Max and through that friendship he learns that him slightly questioning his sexuality is a good thing so yea), Ruben & Lexi (i don't have that much planned for them atm because woo barebones plot but i do imagine them to be initially framed as the more antagonistic characters and have that like stereotype be taken apart as the show goes on esp considering that both are in the "lower sections" and are um more prone to stereotyping) aND A NARRATOR CHARACTER HMMM WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THIS BEFORE GJXJD oki but this Narrator (can be played by any gender as long as the actor IS VERY FUNNY LIKE COMEDIC TIMING IS A *MUST*) is based on the Narrator in PMA's Carrie 2 but I also want the narrator to be like um more crucial to the plot as the story progresses esp as they interact with both the audience and the characters a lot more so like um it's a bit hard to describe their exact role here because um BAREBONES PLOT FJXJD but altho they can't directly affect the story they are telling (cause so far my plan for them is like um they were a former classmate of 7/8 of the characters here but unfortunately they died due to a car accident), they can and do indeed influence the characters in it and all of the characters (except Kyla) know who they are (especially Ruben) so um yea. Also the solo I have planned for them is called Live On (which is um yea a spin off of Move On fjxjd) and through them, I plan to explore the tragedy of unexpected deaths and what happens to those left behind (this will be based on observations and accounts from many of my former schoolmates) and how many have yet to move on and how they choose to live on despite of that because they know that's what their former classmate, schoolmate, and loved on would've wanted.

SO OBVIOUSLY I OWE GRADE 12 TO SIR PRESTON MAX ALLEN GJXJFJD THANK YOU PMA FOR ONCE AGAIN INFLUENCING MY WORK WOO

+ Concepts - oki so this is the only musical so far that i wanna write solely in English nfjsj so this is inspired by Fun Home in which there are like versions of characters in different ages right? Over here there are 2 versions of 6 characters: the 17-18 year old ones, and the 27-28 year old ones. Through them, this musical will explore two main things: (1) the sad and depressing reality of having to give up one's artistic dreams and passions for the sake of practicality and (2) choosing to take a leap of faith and try to grasp on to whatever chances one may have left to live a life that means more than just making ends meet. Act 1 has the teenagers focus on Point 2 while the adults focus on Point 1; Act 2 has the teenagers focus on Point 1 while the adults end up focusing on Act 2. Once again, um barebones plot with even more barebones characters (heck i dont even have NAMES for them gnxnd) but i think it'll be pretty cool to elaborate upon the shitty circumstances here in the ph when it comes to artistic pursuits and how most of the kids I know are terrified of growing up because they don't want to give up dreaming even though that they know that they have to wake up. I also think it'll be cool to point out thay even though that yea situations like these suck, it'll never ever be too late to pick up the pieces and try again cause at the end of the day, life only ends when you say it will end: there will always be chances, you just need to be gutsy enough to grasp them. Also um yea I originally planned to post like a shit ton of poems this month that would basically be the lyrics of the songs that would go into this musical bUT I'M LAZY SO I'M THROWING AWAY THE POSTING SCHEDULE FJXJSJD anyways here r 2 of the poems/songs that i wanna make for this:

+ In 10 Years - a duet between one of the teenagers and their adult counterpart which is um basically the teen singing their optimistic yet really in-depth and mature perspective on chasing Point 2 while the adult sings about Point 1, wishing that they could tell their teen self about how disappointed they will be; i imagine this to be um kinda like the first version of Dear Theodosia but um more intense maybe fjdjf

+ Run - a duet between two teens who are best friends where one girl tries to convince the other to run and play with her in the nearby playground AND YES THIS DUET IS VERY FUCKING GAY JDJSJDF this was um originally part of Grade 12 tbh and it was supposed to be sung by Lexi and it was supposed to be about a 9th grade event that i personally was a part of where um 9th grade student researchers at a research seminar at a different freaking university took over the elementary students' playground when the seminar finished (I SHALL TREASURE THAT MEMORY FOREVER) and um yea it was basically about holding on to your childhood while you still can...aND THEN I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE IT GAY JFJSJSF Lexi is still getting that song about the research seminar event tho but um it won't be Run cause Run basically turned into a song that's not only about holding on to what's left of your childhood but also to the people you treasure that you know you have to leave behind sooner or later and um yea the girl that the one girl tries to convince to go to the playground agrees to that and then boom go duet stylized after 21 and Alone Now + I Don't Care by freaking preston max allen once again woo (i promise that this won't be plagiarism gndnd) (also altho the two girls have to go their separate ways by their graduation, they eventually meet again at the end of act 2 so woo hopeful ending for the sapphics

OKI THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FHXHSHD THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG OF A RAMBLE GOOD GOD AAAAA SO UM IF ANYONE ELSE MADE IT TO THE END, I ONCE AGAIN WILL SEND YOU A SHIT TON OF CARBONARA-

#ari i'm so sorry but this is like...so unbelievably long and convoluted tjxjs GOODLUCK #AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS TJXJSF #so moral of the story is: my brain is too hyperactive for my own good #God help me #also God help those who are gonna try to read this fjxjs #so woo more musical concept rambles aaa #move on tw #move on #ask to tag #izzy's rambles and shit

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 17

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Fluff

WC: 2.5k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18

I felt so nervous. Why did I feel so nervous? I wasn’t the one who was going on stage. But I felt like I was. If I was feeling like this, I could only imagine how bad it was for the boys. Regardless, they were going to do great, I just knew it.

I must have been noticeably anxious because Sejin appeared in front of me. “(Y/n), are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” I manage to get out. “Why?”

“You look anxious,” Sejin said.

“Well, yeah,” I responded, matter-of-factly. “Our boys are about to go on stage for their debut showcase. How can I not be nervous?”

He chuckled. “You’re not the one going on stage.”

I slowly exhaled a breath to try to calm my nerves. “But I’m still so nervous for them.”

“They’ll do great, don’t worry,” Sejin patted me on the back.

“I know they will,” I said with a soft smile.

It was finally here, the day that BTS got to show the world their talent for the first time. There was actually a pretty decent crowd of fans who showed up to support them, which was a pleasant sight to see. While any support was appreciated and welcome, seeing the audience full definitely made me feel ecstatic, as I’m sure it did for the boys as well.

They had already done their interview for the showcase and before we knew it, it was time for the boys to go on stage. Sejin and I gave them encouraging words before they gathered together to do a cheer and walked to their places for the performance.

We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2 started playing, and the cheers from the crowd began almost right away. I watched carefully through the monitor in a back room, having every faith that they were going to be amazing, but my heart still beat rapidly as I couldn’t calm down my nerves.

When the dance line’s turn to shine came, I tightly clamped my hands together. I knew this was what they were the most nervous about. Despite the difficult choreography, the countless hours they sent practicing it had definitely paid off and they performed it perfectly. The song ended, and everyone had done an amazing job.

Afterwards, they came backstage to get their outfits changed for the next song. They filed in, still catching their breath and smiling.

“That was amazing, guys!” I said, as I high-fived Jungkook when he passed by me.

“Thanks, noona,” Hoseok said. “We’re not done yet, though.”

“No More Dream is going to be just as perfect, I know it,” I assured them, as I left the room to give them the privacy they needed to change.

They quickly returned to the stage to perform the main track from their album. I paid extra attention to the lyrics as I watched them move flawlessly around the stage. I may not have always been the biggest fan of this style of music, but the thought and meaning put into the lyrics was something to be very proud of and made the song much more appealing to me.

The lyrics were encouraging the listener to look inside themselves and find out what their personal dream was, if they really desired to follow along the set path that others had perceived for them. It was extremely outspoken, especially in a country where pushing to be the top student and going to one of the top universities was a standard very commonly placed on the younger generations.

It was a risky move to be starting off with such a strong, and potentially controversial, view and message. But that’s what would make them stand out, and Bang had his own unique strategy for this game that was the K-pop industry. He may have been playing by the necessary rules, but he wasn’t going to sacrifice his morals and what he wanted to accomplish to be in the game. And the boys of BTS were more than willing to follow that.

Their performance was flawless again, of course. And they lingered on the stage for a bit to offer a bow and thanks to everyone who came to see them on their special day before eventually making their way backstage again.

I stayed back to let them bask in the feeling of their first performance undisturbed. I was completely there to support them and so excited and ready to celebrate, but I knew what they felt right now was something I couldn’t understand and I didn’t want to try to pretend that I could.

“I can’t believe it,” Jimin said, almost too quiet to hear. “We made our debut.”

“I feel amazing,” Hobi said with the biggest smile on his face.

“We’ve done those dances countless times, but performing it on stage was so exhilarating!” Jungkook exclaimed.

Suga nodded in agreement. “I guess I can continue to deal with all the dancing if it means I get to keep experiencing that.”

“That felt so much better than I thought it would,” Jin admitted. “I can’t believe I had the chance to do this.”

“Why is that so hard to believe, hyung?” Tae asked. “You were just as amazing as Hobi hyung.”

Jin laughed. “The day that I’m up to par with Hoseok will be the day the world ends.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, hyung,” Namjoon added. “I feel like that was the best we’ve done yet. What did you think, noona?” He looked at me.

I had a huge smile on my face. “You guys absolutely killed it, all of you. It was incredible!”

Taehyung smiled his boxy smile as he let out a short, breathy laugh. “Thank you, noona. I love hearing the support from our number one fan.”

“No way, I can’t possibly be your number one fan,” I said dismissively.

“Of course you are!” Jimin said as he jumped on my back to wrap me in a sweaty hug. “You’ll always be our number one fan to us.”

He let go of me and I smiled as I turned around to look at him and the others before leaving the room to give them their privacy again.

Bang had explicitly told us not to schedule anything else for the boys today, so once they were dressed down and ready to go, Sejin drove the nine of us to a restaurant.

“We’re not going home?” Yoongi asked. “I thought we didn’t have anything else to do.”

“Correct,” I said, “but did you really think we’d end the day without celebrating a bit?”

“Yes!” Jungkook cheered from the back.

We pulled up to the restaurant and the boys quickly filed out of the van, excited for the meal Sejin and I were about to buy for them.

We settled into a large table in the back of the dining area where we should be able to eat undisturbed. While the boys’ debut wasn’t explosive, being from a smaller company who couldn’t get their debut on big headlines and super advertised, we still ran a risk of them being recognized now. But we all understood how to keep a low profile.

I sat next to Namjoon, who had been surprisingly quiet today. I knew he’s just as happy and thrilled as the rest about being able to debut, but he wasn’t showing it very much. After we all settled in and gave our orders to the waitress, I placed a hand on his arm to get his attention. “Everything okay, Namjoon?” I asked him.

He gently smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I’m alright, noona.” I gave him a look to let him know I wasn’t convinced, but he shook his head. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing to worry about. I'm just a bit overwhelmed is all.”

Jin, who sat on the other side of Namjoon, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, having heard his leader’s words even though they were quiet. “I get what you mean, Joon,” he said. “But I think I can safely say that today was a huge success for us. And even though we know it won’t be easy as we move forward, we’ll all be here for each other. Don’t put too much weight on your shoulders just because you’re our leader, Joonie.”

I smiled. Seokjin was always so good at knowing what to say to help the others. He may have been a bit goofy most of the time, but moments like this reminded me that he was the oldest. The rest of our table was full of laughter and excited conversations, which Namjoon slowly relaxed into as well.

I remembered the first time I went to dinner with the boys, how I had felt insecure about my place among them and how I was so unsure of myself. This time, even though I still didn’t get too many words in and for the most part sat quietly, it didn’t bother me at all. I knew that even if I wasn’t fully included, they considered me a part of their little family. And this night was for them more than it was for me and Sejin, so I sat back to let them enjoy it.

While I was lost in my thoughts, the food had arrived and Namjoon started placing pieces from the various dishes on my bowl of rice for me. He didn’t even start eating yet.

“Joonie, I can feed myself,” I chuckled. “Why do you guys always do that?”

“Because you don’t eat enough, noona,” Taehyung said matter-of-factly from across the table.

“Since when?” I asked. “If I ate all the food you guys insisted I eat, my stomach would explode. And I’d get fat.”

“You? Fat?” Hoseok laughed. “Impossible.”

I sighed as I shook my head. “Take care of yourselves before me. You’re the ones who just worked your butts off on that stage. Eat as much as you want.”

Namjoon still kept pretty quiet while we ate. But when we were almost finished, he decided to speak up. “I want to say something.”

We all paused as we gave him our full attention.

“Noona, Sejin hyung, thank you ever so much for all the work you’ve done for us.” Namjoon said. “You worked so hard to get us here, and we wouldn’t have been able to get this far without you. And I know you’ll still have to work just as hard moving forward for us to keep going, so I want to make sure you know we all appreciate you both so much and we will always be thankful for everything you do for us. Thank you,” he finished as he slightly bowed his head.

The sudden speech surprised me. I was not expecting that, and I found myself feeling flustered over getting such a heartfelt thank you.

Sejin oppa smiled. “It’s our pleasure to be working with such wonderful boys as yourselves. As long as you can keep living your dreams and be happy doing so, we’ll be happy to stay by your side.”

I snapped out of my shock and nodded. “Agreed. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I’ll do anything for my boys.”

“Your boys?” Jin asked. “You know I’m older than you.”

“By 3 days,” I said.

“Yeah, but how can I be ‘your boy’ if we’re the same age?”

“I’m still your manager, so you’re all my boys.”

“This is the most stupid argument ever,” Yoongi cut in, making us laugh.

We finished dinner and Sejin drove us back to our apartments before heading home himself. I was feeling rather worn out, although I wasn’t sure why since I didn’t do anything necessarily exhausting today. I sat in my living room, scrolling through comments on their music video. The debut showcase was pre-recorded, so it’d be going up a little later.

A lot of people were complimenting them, especially the choreography and their powerful performance. A lot of people pointed out their lyrics, liking that it was different from what they were used to hearing–most songs tended to be related to love or relationships in one way or another. I was glad to see that the initial reactions were positive. There were of course hate comments sprinkled in, but they were far and few between.

I heard a knock on my door, so I paused my search and opened the door to see Namjoon standing there.

“What’s up, Joonie?” I asked.

“Not much,” he said as he kicked off his shoes and sat down in my living room.

He was silent for a few moments. “Joonie,” I said as I sat next to him, “you’re awfully quiet. Why aren’t you spending time with the other guys?”

“They are just really loud and energetic right now,” he said. “I wanted to be somewhere a little calmer.”

I placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’d like to think I know you guys pretty well by now. And it looks to me as though something’s on your mind.”

He sighed. “It’s not that I’m not happy, I really am. But they’re just too energetic for me right now. This feels so surreal to me, like I’m just floating by in a daydream. I guess I’m still trying to register the fact that we just debuted.”

“I get what you mean. You’ve been working for this for a long time, longer than any of the others. So I guess it makes sense that you need some more time to digest that you’re no longer just a trainee.”

Joon nodded and rested his head on my shoulder, and we sat in silence for a few moments before we started getting notifications on our phones from the group chat.

Jimin: Namjoonie hyung~ Where are you?

Jin: Namjoon, you better not have gotten yourself into trouble.

Hobi: Noona, have you seen Namjoonie?

Me: Don’t worry guys, Joonie is at my apartment.

Taetae: Aww hyung! Do you not like us anymore? ☹ We want to celebrate with you!

Jimin: Yeah, how are we supposed to celebrate without our leader?

Joonie: You guys are so loud. I wanted some peace and quiet. I’ll be over later. Just let me relax with noona for a bit please.

Jin: Okay, okay. Take care of our Joonie for us, (Y/n)!

Me: Of course 😊

Namjoon gently tossed his phone onto the coffee table. “They can’t leave me alone for 10 minutes, can they?” he asked, shaking his head.

“They love you, you know that,” I said as he laid down, resting his head in my lap. He sighed again. “Is something wrong?”

“Hm?” he looked up at me. “No, nothing’s wrong. I was actually just thinking that I feel lucky to be in a team that’s so close with each other. It’s not easy for seven guys to all get along. Plus having two great managers who are focused on what is best for us, rather than just merely doing your job for the sake of it being your job.”

“One thing I’ve come to learn is that Bang PD-nim sure knows what he’s doing,” I said. “Even if he sometimes seems a little off his rocker. But that’s what makes him great.”

Joon smiled and nodded. We remained in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Before I knew it, I ended up falling asleep, feeling happy and content.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope​ @misohime​ @netflix-batman-sleep​ @smallbaby-cat​ @leitholdwithlove​ @ramyagovindraj​ @leesalts​

Send me a message or ask if you want tagged!

#BTS x reader #BTS fanfic #thebtswritersclub #If I Never Met You #IINMY #Manager!reader #Idol!au #jin #seokjin #suga #yoongi #j-hope #hoseok #rm #namjoon #jimin #v #taehyung #jungkook #fluff

[tinngucci]

BLACKPINK MASTER LIST OF SONGS

I only started listening to Blackpink this year, July. In short, I’m a baby Blink, but I’ve caught up with everything. I even learned 11 of their choreographies. I love all of them, but my Bias is Lisa. I love her so much.

Disclaimer: I didn’t include the remixes, the So Hot cover. There’s no point. But I included Jennie’s song just ‘cause I learned the choreo. AND don’t come for me if your favorite songs didn’t rank high or what. This is my personal preference. We all have different tastes. Anyway, let’s get to it.

1. LOVESICK GIRLS - Okay, so Playing With Fire used to be my favorite BP song, but when this came out last Friday, I fell in love. It easily beat out PWF just like that. I love the sound of it. I love the synths. It’s got a beautiful chorus. I can dance to it, I can relate to it. I just love everything about it. 10/10. Hopefully, they make more songs like this in the future.

2. PLAYING WITH FIRE - I’m sorry you had to go down to number 2, you beautiful queen. Ah, what an underrated song. It’s ahead of its time, really. People be sleeping on this song when this song actually is a BOP. The choreography is everything.

3. AS IF IT’S YOUR LAST - I don’t trust anyone that hates this song. The chorus is everything!!! It puts me in a good mood every time I listen to this song.

4. LOVE TO HATE ME - I know a lot of people don’t like this song. WEIRD. It’s so catchy! I don’t know why but when I heard the “Negative days, negative nights...” line, I thought of Panic! At The Disco. I felt like that line is something Brendon would sing. Anyway, that doesn’t make sense, I know. Now, let’s talk about Lisa’s rap in this because it’s AMAZING. Blew me out of my existence. Her best rap, for sure.

5. KICK IT - Okay, I feel like I have to explain this ‘cause not a lot of people like this song. When I first heard it, I didn’t like it. It was a skip at the time. But when I watched videos of it live, it sounded amazing. And when I listened to it again, something hit me. It’s actually a BOP. Rose’s part, “And I’m letting it all out...” I die every time I hear it. There’s something about this song that makes me think of my friends and our happy times together. Maybe it’s just me. Stop sleeping on this song!

6. FOREVER YOUNG - One of my favorite choreographies! It’s up there with PWF, AIIYL and Whistle. It’s just as happy-ass song. I love that. A bop. And I could imagine myself watching it live and just letting loose, having fun, and dancing of course.

7. PRETTY SAVAGE - This song grew on me. I didn’t like it at first. I thought it was generic. But then after a few listens, I realized how powerful the song is. I can see myself dancing to it. The song itself is pretty savage.

8. WHISTLE - If you looked at my old list, Whistle ranked low. I couldn’t give a crap about this song before. But when I learned the choreo, I appreciated it more. I live for it now. A total queen!

9. KISS AND MAKEUP - Obviously, this is my favorite collab. I love Dua Lipa. She’s my girl. Maybe that’s why I love it. It’s pretty generic, yes, but I love how feel-good it is. My inner hoe comes out when I’m listening to this. And it’s sad that we didn’t get a music video. That wouldn’t been epic.

10. SOUR CANDY - Another song I didn’t appreciate enough before. Queens singing together. I wish it was longer though. And where is the music video!!!

11. YOU NEVER KNOW - Beautiful. Just beautiful. Jisoo went off. Stay’s got nothing on this. Although it’s not that slow of song, it’s the kind of song that I like. I really want to see them sing this live. It’d be emotional for sure.

12. DDU-DU DDU-DU - Definitely the superior one out of its sisters, KTL and HYLT. I love to dance to it, but it’s not necessarily something that I would listen to on a regular basis. But it’s such an iconic song for them. I don’t want to disrespect a queen that broke records.

13. BOOMBAYAH - The queen that started it all! This song just makes you wanna dance and party. But again, it’s not something that I would listen to on a regular basis.

14. HOW YOU LIKE THAT - The era that made me a Blink. This was on my Top 5 before! I just got tired of listening to it over and over. I realized that the only thing I like about it is the beat drop, the chorus. The verses are not really strong. Lisa’s rap is refreshing though. *I’m not being biased.*

15. KILL THIS LOVE - Honestly, I couldn’t decide between this and HYLT. The only edge of HYLT is that it’s more on the hip-hop side, which I like. But Kill This Love is such a powerful-ass song, but I got tired of it too. They should move on from this formula and start singing full choruses more and not rely on beat drops and outro dance breaks,

16. REALLY - It’s just a really cute song. That’s about it. Nothing special.

17. CRAZY OVER YOU - Okay, I hated this when I first listened to it. What was that intro??? But you know what, maybe I’ll like it more once they start performing it live. That outro is fire!!! I have a feeling this song would grow on me soon. We’ll see.

18. BET YOU WANNA - I thought this was gonna rank higher. I loved it when I first heard it. I thought it was amazing. The part that goes “Something 'bout me's taking you higher” is honestly the best part of the song. Rose’s high notes. Girl gave me a heart attack. But that’s about it. The rest of the song is weak. Cardi B’s part, I’m not about it. A miss for me. This should’ve been more iconic. They should’ve included a rap battle! UGH!

19. SEE U LATER - I wish this song had a different chorus. It just didn’t match the vibe of the song. That intro is amazing! What happened there? Oh, the chorus happened...

20. SOLO - It’s a good song. It’s just whatever, you know? But Jennie be killing me sometimes. Excuse me, ma’am, you are HOT. 

21. STAY - Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful song. I just don’t connect to it, that’s all.

22. ICE CREAM - I don’t like this song that much. Yes, it’s cute and all, but it’s not for me. The only edge it has is the “na-na-na-na-na” part at the end because it’s cute af! And the choreo is cute too. It was harder than I expected. A+ rapping for my girl, though.

23. DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO - This song used to rank higher on my previous list. It has no edge whatsoever. The chorus is messy in my opinion. The choreo is hard af though, especially the chorus.

24. HOPE NOT - Aw! I didn’t want to put this last because it’s a beautiful song, but I just prefer the more upbeat songs. And it’s forgettable.

#blackpink #kpop #the album #lovesick girls #lisa #lalisa #lisa manoban #jennie #jennie kim #jisoo #Rosé #blackpink rose #girl group #opinions #music

[404fmdminjung]

famed idol life / career meme

notes: i started doing responses one by one, but then i thought it’d be better to do one big mass-post instead of flooding dash all at once. thank you to all that sent in! appreciate u all :~) (if anyone has any numbers they need, please feel free to like this or just let me know, even if i already sent in an ask!)

2. what are your favorite b-sides/non-title tracks you’ve released?

“i like diana. there’s something moody, sultry about it with a touch of elegance. it’s almost like cheap wine on a long friday — contrasting, but it somehow fits. plus, sooah helped out on that track which becomes the cherry icing on top. perhaps, there’s something better coming out on my next album, where there’s too many b-sides that i’d cherry pick myself to be my favorite. for that, look out at the sea, captain.”

3. what is your least favorite song (title track or b-side) you’ve released?

“i don’t think there’s a least favorite. if there were, then i wouldn’t have partook in any of it — my personality’s in it or out of it. there’s no in between, especially where my voice plays a part. i don’t want to touch things where my heart doesn’t lie, that’d just be cruel. wouldn’t it? if it doesn’t relieve my soul a bit, then i don’t think i’d dip my toes in those waters.”

6. what is one thing (a concept, a genre, an outfit, etc.) you would least like your company make you do?

“i’d like to do house funk, maybe house-pop. you’ve seen elements in it in knight’s old releases, and even the oldies like decipher’s done it. unity’s dabbled in it somewhat in their b-sides, and considering fuse has amassed a long bridge of different concepts — the spectrum’s large. i’d like to wear hawaiian t-shirts and prance around to some summer house-funk, and that’s something i think the general public can all dance around in their rooms to.”

8. if you could be in any idol group, which one would you choose?

“i’ve grown accustomed to fuse — i like being in fuse. i don’t think i’d fit anywhere else, though i would say bee would be a nice change for the summer fun. i’d even enjoy myself to be in unity had i been a boy. can you imagine? the fun that would come out of belting welcome to my playground, and singing the tunes to touch. that’d be a girl’s dream come true.”

9. if you could say one thing to your ceo, what would it be?

“you’re the prettiest person i’ve ever seen. in the whole country, out of all the women in the world — you’re the standard of beauty. but i’m sure the whole world knows that by now, don’t they? i thank you for giving fuse some of the best songs, and though i’ve never met you face by face, i’d like to believe you’re better than what’s shown from face value. but, still — my wannabe face is you but no amount of plastic surgery would turn me into you, would it?”

10. if you were auditioning for your company today, what would you perform for your audition, or what would you change from your original audition?

“i don’t think i’d repeat the dance, nor attempt to dance to something like seo taeji and boys. if i recall, i did h.o.t’s we are the future, and snsd’s kissing you with a ruler i had in my back pocket. in retrospect, that was my standard of dancing — if only i’d known it’d become a bad memory to highlight the work i have left. maybe, i’d only stick to kissing you, ruler version while singing something more melodically acceptable than finkl’s now.”

11. if you could do any special stage, what would it be and who would it be with?

“i don’t know — i don’t know many things when it comes to these mix and match scenarios. i know i’d like to make a stage where i can dance freely as if i’m in the comfort of my own home. perhaps to a song like gee, or even oh — even willing to dabble in lipstick’s genie if it means dressing up like a sailor and going ahoy. i’d want to do the stage with jeonghwa, sooah, and well — i don’t have that many friends to give you a special stage, oops.”

13. if you could become a model or ambassador for any brand, what would you choose?

”again, i’ve been blessed and satiated with each and every opportunity given. working with dior has been a smooth sailing ride as well as cartier — perhaps, given the option i wouldn’t opt for pathere de cartier but a different line. still, nothing really takes away from the heart and soul of their jewelry, which i appreciate with my cup of tea. i’d continue to work with dior, and if hermes would ever take the punch — i’d even have an affair with them.”

14. if you could be on any variety show, which one (or which type of one) would you want to be on?

“knowing brothers — i really watch that show. or even, 전지적 참견 시점 — those are the shows i keep tabs of on a weekly basis. i'd love my manager to have her time to shine and steal the hearts of the world with her variety work. she’s a very funny person you know. as for knowing brothers? that’s a given knowing how quick the crowd is on their feet and the little mini-games that come from each episode. i hurt my stomach each time from laughing along so many times.”

16. what changes would you implement if you were the ceo of your company?

“a free-for-all. i’ve never wanted to become a ceo, but had i been granted the opportunity to rule on all floors, i’d implement a few things. mandatory art classes, and creative freedom to the album jackets for all my artists. no dating-bans, let it all air out — most of all, i’d let them do as they wished as long has it harmed nobody else and they could handle the aftermath. no restrictions, roam free, bunnies.”

17. what do you do to relieve the stress of idol life?

“call me pretentious or call me a sell-out, i do what any other normal person does. i like sitting in the cafes with my notebook out, sketching. i sketch people that come in and out, or the people that decide to sit next to me. if i’m home, i’m painting on canvas with my record player crooning in the background or knitting a sweater to wear next winter. on a really adventurous day, you’ll see me playing the pole or stretching my limbs at pilates. but that’s on a non-lazy day.”

18. what tips would you give to a trainee about to debut?

“wear your skin like armor, and let it thicken as time goes on. no need to get hurt by words, and instead roll with the punches — learn to accept the hate that comes, and be scrutinized underneath a microscope. sometimes, you don’t know if it’s really reality, but the faster you assimilate yourself, the quicker you learn to glide past your career. think of everything as a catch-22, only there’s no real safety net.”

19. what was the hardest part of being a trainee?

“getting along with the other people and have them stay away from getting to know me. it’s obvious, the trainee life is temporary — there’s going to be those that debut and those that don’t, so why pry further than you have to? everyone should’ve been given the basic privacy instead of trying to play formalities and get along. other than that, i hated dance practice and i still do. dance isn’t a strong suit, and having someone force me to follow a tempo i can’t march to was no fun at all.”

20. did you enjoy the lifestyle of a trainee or of a debuted idol more?

“i liked being a debuted idol far better, only because there was a layer of privacy given to me. ironically, i was suddenly in the public eye. yet, it still allowed some layer of anonymity within the inner circle and the day to day people i interacted with. starting from a sea of trainees, and having it dwindle to a group of my members — it all made it easier to handle in the end. besides, i was getting no sleep regardless trainee or not.”

22. describe your dream sub-unit (members and concept).

“take the fuse darker concepts — peekaboo, bad boy, psycho. and merge it into one, all while getting rid of the dresses too short to dress in. wrap it all together, and you get my favorite concept. i like mystery, and latent meanings behind pretty tunes, and being able to do that each comeback would be a dream. surely, the audience might get bored of it, but i wouldn’t and i’m allowed to be selfish, aren’t i? my dream sub-unit, i’d take sooah. without sooah, i don’t know what i’d do, really. she’s like a mini-mom, three years younger. then, i’d take kiana for the dance that sooah and i can’t handle. i suppose i’d add suji in there because i don’t think anyone can belt like she does, no offense to kiana. but there’s a heartier belt when suji does it. sorry to our leader, i guess.”

23. out of the following six options, would you rather be allowed to play a major hand in the lyrics, production, choreography, styling, music videos, or concepts you release?

“i started off in lyrics, so i’ll stay loyal till the end. i’ll keep to the lyrics, so i can continue to write the stories my heart wants to say. sometimes, i’ll fall into cliches, but that’s okay. if it’s not in music production or the general content of the song, i suppose i’d take a dabble in styling — and stop dressing myself in the short skirts making it impossible to dance. really, those are the only two things i’ll be selfish for.”

25. what is your least favorite part of being an idol?

“waking up early, not having enough time to draw — those would just be the superficial things, right? but really, there’s pros and cons to any jobs, just ask any office worker with a nine to five. however, if i’m given a sliver of honesty to wave my grievances, i’d like to mention that i don’t like working in short skirts that get shorter each comeback. i don’t like getting mauled by the public of who i make eye contact with or who i work with — i don’t like getting over criticized and the list goes on.”

26. what is your favorite part of being an idol?

“i’ve always been a story teller. i like crafting stories and telling my world for how i see it, and given this opportunity in music, i’m able to do so. i like playing with instruments, sketching out things for an album idea — the creative process while meeting new people along the way. it’s a journey, an adventure and most of all, it avoids stagnation. i’m on the move, go go go.”

27. would you rather be incredibly famous with a terrible reputation and hated by most or be fairly unknown with a good reputation and adored by those who know of you? why?

“i’m already disliked by most — they don’t like the way i dress, who i’m friends with or the manner in which i present myself. but i’m given the opportunity to ignore these things along the way, and learn to handle things bit by bit. given the choice, i’d rather hide in anonymity with the few around me enjoying my presence. i’ve learned by now, public opinion doesn’t correlate to much as it’s nothing more than a crow perched far away as poe would say.”

29. what have you learned about yourself and/or society since becoming a celebrity?

“i’ve only been taught life skills, such as time management and patience. in hindsight, i’ve learned how cruel people are to judge things from what they see at surface level. the world’s superficial — that’s a bitter pill to swallow. i don’t know much about myself as i haven’t gotten that part figured out. instead, i’ve just learned that the world is cruel and the people in it amount to little to no positivity — go figure.”

#fmdmeme001 #fmdyiyeon #fmdmaverick #fmdjaein #fmdkiana #jihoonfmd #jihaefmd #thank you all again for asking! #(큐뀨↻queue)

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 29 Week 6: Was There Supposed to be a Theme?

For real. Was there supposed to be a theme? It seemed like people were doing dedications and then some people just told a personal story? And then we had AJ talking about how much he says “sorry”. Idk.

Anyway, Tyra is really settling into being a host. Hated her first outfit. Loved the entirety of her second look. Derek and Hayley’s dance was incredible. It definitely brought some energy to a night that was very “meh” in the first hour. And we’ll get to that asinine elimination decision at the end.

Johnny and Britt- Salsa (Score=22)- So this dance wasn’t exactly bad. But there were some issues. Johnny seemed to backslide a bit in terms of his confidence. His movements were kinda clipped and he just felt so unsure, especially during the partnering parts of the dance. He needed more hips. And I just wanted it to be more grounded than it was. I think he is going to have a very similar problem that Evan Lysacek had all the way back in season 10. His ballroom was divine. His Latin was really lacking. I hope Britt and Johnny can get his Latin figured out. They are in a season where that will be way more of a problem than it was for Evan and Anna.

Nev and Jenna- Jazz (Score=26)- This was a really strange dance. Between the music selection, the choreography and the outfits, it just did not make sense. There were moments that I thought Nev was going to take off his jacket. I’m not sure why his arms were raised like that so much. Idk. It was good. But I hated every part of it.

Monica and Val- Rumba (Score=27)- Okay what gives? Why are we scoring Monica like this? She’s not dancing anywhere good enough to justify these scores. So what is it? What is the reason for her getting 9s when she should be getting 8s and 7s. Please help me understand. The hip action was not great. Her arm extensions were odd. It was boring. I just don’t get it. What is the agenda here?

Skai and Alan- Cha-Cha (Score=18)- Whew. This was rough. Okay, let’s start with the bad. Skai was pretty stiff at the beginning of the dance and she looked so nervous. She might be a celeb that would really benefit from a live audience to help her get out of her own head. And there was that huge series of mistakes right in the middle. But Skai seriously fought through and got back on track to end it off strong. This leads me to my positives. Once she got it back, I thought the dance was stronger than the first half. It seemed like she just let loose. There was some really nice technique at the end. It was also here and there at the beginning, but it was more consistent after that moment. I’m not sure if Alan is speaking to Skai about how she feels during performance days, but I feel like they need to approach rehearsals differently. Part of it needs to be dedicated to her dancing like she’s performing on a Monday night. She has everything needed to be amazing. It is just her nerves that we need to work on and get under control.

Vernon and Peta- Cha-Cha (Score=21)- Oh boy. Okay. First of all, from a purely technical standpoint, this was the worst dance of the night. Vernon was flat footed. His legs were awful during those New Yorkers. There was so much space between them and they were just sloppy. Peta’s choreography was terrible. I just don’t understand why or how Peta got this bad as a pro? Vernon was not hopeless. So I just don’t understand why it felt like she didn’t try at all with him. I really don’t.

Nelly and Daniella- Viennese Waltz (Score=24)- So last week was not a fluke. And Nelly has truly entered the competition. This dance was so much more elegant than I was expecting. His arms in particular, were so fluid. Daniella is killing it this season as a pro. She definitely has a bright future ahead of her on this show. What she is doing with Nelly is incredible. As for the issues, Nelly just needs to work on his feet and getting his butt under/fixing his posture.

Jeannie and Brandon- Rumba (Score=25)- I’ve gotta say that this was my favorite dance of the night by far. Jeannie really takes it there and really gives it everything that she’s got. She’s hanging with the best of them because of it. I do want her to work on her arms just a bit more and also pull back on the energy just a smidge more. BUT, this was really good and I think Jeannie might be on the path to the finals. 

AJ and Cheryl- Samba (Score=27)- AJ finally had his breakthrough. I was getting a little worried for a moment, but he finally stood out from the pack. He and Cheryl were in sync (sorry). His shoulders and posture are much improved. His footwork was the best that I’ve seen. He handled the dance and the choreography really well. His hips were great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. My only critique is that things got a little messy from time to time with his feet. And there were a couple of times when it looked like his shoulders were caving just a little bit. That’s it.

Chrishell and Gleb- Contemporary (Score=24)- So I don’t know what happened but for some reason I completely tuned this dance out. From what I saw, it looked pretty good. That’s it. And I don’t really want to go back and watch it.

Kaitlyn and Artem- Samba (Score=27)- So technically, this dance was pretty much perfect. I can’t say much about it as far as that goes. But like I have said with Kaitlyn so many times, she danced it way too pretty. And like CAI, I was not impressed. It was good. That is it. She needs more than to just attack the dance though. She needs to dance with some soul. Get down and dirty. Dance through the floor. Get grounded. Make it more earthy. Whatever you wanna say, she needs to do.

Justina and Sasha- Viennese Waltz (Score=27)- I thought this was a really pretty dance. I hated the dress though. And I didn’t care for the choreography. But it was Justina’s best dance so far, from a technical standpoint. I also feel like she is also on the path to the finals.

Now here is where I’m gonna start to go in. Our bottom 2 celebs were Johnny and Vernon. It was shocking to see Johnny down there. TELL ME WHY CAI DECIDED THAT SHE WAS GOING TO SAVE VERNON OVER JOHNNY??????????? Even with Johnny’s tumble down the leaderboard this week, he was leaps and bounds better than Vernon. WTF. This judges’ save has made the show almost unbearable to watch. Those judges have been saving the wrong people since it started last season. Saving Ray Lewis over Miss Mary (the much better dancer). Saving Ally over James van der Beek after her THIRD appearance in the bottom. Sis was not going to win. Saving Carole over Charles. And now CAI ready to throw Johnny away for a celeb that is not living up to his potential because his pro is not trying. WTF. Nah, they can’t even get it right. How dare they chastise us for years, when they have been fucking up since they got more say in who goes home. The audacity of those fools. And listen. The fact that Monica has not landed back in the bottom because of how high she has been overscored is pissing me off. STOP THIS. THIS IS WHY THE SHOW LOSES VIEWERS!

Anyway, I said what I needed to say. Let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon.

#dancing with the stars #DWTS #Justina Machado #kaitlyn bristowe #chrishell stause #aj mclean #jeannie mai #Nelly #vernon davis #skai jackson #monica aldama #Nev Schulman #johnny weir #Britt Stewart #jenna johnson #val chmerkovskiy #alan bersten #peta murgatroyd #daniella karagach #brandon armstrong #Cheryl Burke #gleb savchenko #artem chigvintsev #sasha farber #Cha Cha #Viennese Waltz #salsa #samba #contemporary #jazz