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artofabeginner · 4 years

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The Destruction of the Nacirema

Based off of Nacirima Culture Essays, written by myself and a group of classmates

The Nacirema in its final years had adopted tenretni, a global network that was founded upon the advancement of technology in the late 20th century. Meant as a measure for a time of war, the tenretni took a drastic turn several years later when increased levels of common people began using the network. As time progressed, the younger generation have become dependent on this network while the older generations of the Nacirema are skeptical of its effects.

The tenretni became a source of entertainment rapidly. It became part of their daily lives to the point where many of the Nacirema could not “suffer” more than a day without it. They began to look to the tenretni for all answers in life, and soon it became an almost God like figure. They went to it for all their troubles and tried to look their best in front of it. It was seen in everyday life and well-known . The Nacirema were so engrossed with the many features the tenretni offered them, it became an escape from reality.

In addition, tenretni had developed social platforms where communication and the sharing of ideas became easier . These platforms were known as Laicos aidem, which meant a space in which one speaks to others. These platforms were used essentially by everyone especially those that were well-known from entertainment or the government. One platform was known as rettiwt, a place where they can role play what they wished they were in their everyday life. Another being margatsni, where they can flaunt beautiful images with unintelligible descriptions. Margatsni has been very influential among the younger generations, and has been known for the deterioration of mental health among some users. One that was very popular among all the generations,especially among the middle-aged, was koobecaf. Many other platforms emerged resulting in competition to arise among them.

This Laicos aidem was the pushing factor that caused many young Nacirema people to be completely infatuated with the tenretni. This may be why ultimately the Nacirema people fell. Their youth were too busy on the tenretni and it’s Laicos aidem to be bothered with the issues outside their network. This left most of the work to the elders, who were also enticed by these new features. We are unsure as to why they were enticed and what made the tenretni so special, perhaps when we are fully able to decipher the Naciremas language will we understand.

In short, it’s clear to see that the Nacirema people’s infatuation with the tenretni and the Laicos aidem lead to their final moments. Their youth were too infatuated by this network and their elders were too old to work. This ultimately lead to a stilling of any form of advancements, which in turn lead to the quick end of the Naciremas reign on the land. It’s disappointing that one of the most influential tribes fell so quickly to such a minuscule idea. Perhaps this tells us of human nature and provides a lesson for other tribal nations.

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teatimewithtess · 5 years

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Entry 6: Saturday, June 29, 11:33 pm

Recently in one of my past English classes I wrote my own version of A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift; in the original essay, Swift chooses a daring solution to solve Ireland’s problem for bad children, hunger, and poverty: eating babies. Throughout his essay, Swift provides a plentiful amount of evidence and statistics proving that his solution is the one that no one will admit to working because no one has the audacity to propose it. Given any topic, I decided to go with the political anarchy that has divided America completely. I hope you can catch on to the satirical aspects planted throughout my work...enjoy.

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A Modest Proposal

For providing the great citizens of the United States of America with valuable, lawful choices that will aid in the development of one's’ views regarding the evolution of the future.

By Tess Butler

Unfortunately in our world today, frustrated Americans walk a road of hope and opportunity but are selfishly blocked by the doubt and ignorance from current politicians that only worry about how America can help them. From government shutdowns to never-ending debates, the American people cannot move forward, cannot move past these horrible roadblocks that cause the country to come to a halt. There has been bickering since the formation of the United States. George Washington even advised the current colonists to not create political parties because it would cause too much controversy; however, they did not heed his words. It has cost us the devolution of human reasoning in economics and politics. People argue without even obtaining the proper knowledge beforehand in order to propose a respectful argument that may lead to actual solutions.

There is a constant debate over government, and it might never end. No matter how much all 300 million Americans try, they will never be able to work together in pure bliss, which is an unreasonable expectation anyway. Consequently, we are not using our gifts as homo sapiens, to communicate effectively and productively, but that is a future argument for a new and improved developed America. Every person has different views about each and every subject, so placing all these differentiating views in one enclosed area is not the best idea. Anarchy, protests, war, assassinations, murder, and ostracization are all consequences of opposing views; therefore, people with generally similar views should be together and share their ideas without having to worry about those frightening consequences. With similar people being together, Americans are finally united by the concept of similarity, rather than being forced together by differences. Fortunately, uniting those with common similarities is more realistic than a group of politicians actually working to better the future of the people. People would develop a more effective work ethic and become more united in a common trust of one another. Perhaps finally separating each mindset by our differences would finally allow the American people to prosper and break the bad habits we see too often in history.

As of 2019, 53% of Americans have a high level of discontent with the American economic system, 7% want a communist country, 57% of Democrats view socialism with a positive outlook; these percentages are far too high for America to continue on at its current rate. There are 327,232,426 people that live in America. If I subtract from the equation Alaska and Hawaii, which are not geographically connected to the United States and could be sold to Japan or Canada to gain some revenue, the resulting population would be 325,067,965 people. If I divided the total population into 5 different governing sections, it would equal about 65,000,000 people in each section. Even as the amount of births and deaths continue to fluctuate, it would not affect any aspect of the political districts. Therefore, each person out of the 300,000,000+ population would be finally divided for the better.

Now I will gladly propose my solution for solving differentiating views about government, even if it is denied by the current government itself, to the open minds of society. Out of the 300,000,000 people, each person will have the choice to live in one of five contrasting government sections of the “States of America.” The five individual sections will be under the control of the following governments: democracy, republic, communism, socialism, and monarchy. The sections will be enclosed by massive Mexico funded walls that are heavily guarded by border police of that specific state; In between each of the central borders, wide channels will be created to further separate each state. Of each section, or state, the maximum population will be 65,000,000. If one might disagree with the government authority that they are born into, once reached the age of 18 they can move to a different state; however, any person can move a total of 2 times. If the population of the desired state has reached its maximum, one must go to their secondary choice. I will now introduce each specific state. State one is called “Calikota”(pronounced as kal-ih-coat-uh); it is under the ruling of a democracy and covers the area of the northern half of California to the border of Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Iowa, and Missouri. The democracy is in one of the largest sections geographically because it is still one of the most wanted and popular forms of government. State two is called “Arkwasin”(pronounced as ark-wah-sin) ; it is under the ruling of a socialism and covers the area from Minnesota to Louisiana, bordering Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Ohio. State three is named “South Cosas” (pronounced as south koh-sus); it is a monarchy government and contains the remaining area between Calikota and Arkwasin, which is from southern California to the border of Louisiana. State four is known as “Hiolina” (pronounced he-oh-lee-nuh), which is under the control of a republic government; this state contains the area from Florida to the border of Pennsylvania, including Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Ohio. Finally, state five is “New Sylvinland” (pronounced as new sill-vin-lend) and is under the rule of a communism; the state contains the rest of the area of America, which is from Pennsylvania to Maine. The cheated people of America will finally have a real freedom of choice. There will be one week for choosing the desired state, and if not chosen by the required deadline, will result in a random placement. With desired political views finally fulfilled, Americans have one less problem to worry about: building that wall!

As ridiculous as it may appear, long-lasting problems require long-lasting solutions; even if it means replaying history, such as segregation based on race, and modifying it to our advantage, segregation of political views. However, I advise the people to ponder over the obvious advantages it has on every separate person and every separate thing.

First, it will finally put the phrase so commonly used to a well deserved rest: “Separate but equal.” That ironic mantra was never intended to be taken seriously because of how absurd it was to the realistic world. There is no such thing as “separate but equal”; there never has been and there never will be. So might as well teach the future intelligent and truthful generations the actual truth of the world: nothing is equal.

Secondly, people with higher education will finally have the rightful choice to actually do what they want without having the negative effects of delinquents’ decisions. Because of the accumulated knowledge and intelligence some citizens have attained, they will fortunately choose some of the best states to live in because they understand the definitions and true purposes of each government. And fortunately for them, most people with a simpler or more illiterate mindset will be forced to live in one of five random states, since they never learned a valuable enough work ethic to make deadlines. A win-win situation, as they like to call it.

Thirdly, we can teach the future generations ANOTHER key concept in the development of Americans: opposites do NOT attract. Since each state is separated by government, each person now has a common similarity among one another. We can finally distinguish the 40% of ruined relationships, because of political disagreement, and gladly participate in conversations about how much better one state is compared to another. Even though we already do that in modern America, at least we have support from 64,999,999 other people in the future States of America.

Fourthly, the smaller amount of people will directly relate to a smaller amount of problems. Finally, the president of Calikota will only have to deal with problems from 65,000,000 people instead of 300,000,000. We will gladly make the remaining citizens someone else's problem: an American specialty passed down from generations of success.

Finally, the media will be heavily affected by the dramatic decrease of viewers because of the small amount of democratic watchers. News Stations will now only appeal to that specific state, so citizens of South Cosas, the monarchy, will not be forced to listen to the verbal junk that comes out of every newscasters mouth on Fox News, CNN, etc. The people will receive real news about important topics; only 65 million people have to watch a donkey and an elephant fight.

Now, the current Americans of today withhold too much ignorance and understanding to actually diffuse the political anarchy that they started. If we would have actually listened to one another from the very beginning instead of pursuing our common self-centered ways, America would actually be at ease. Now, if one might despise my ideas I offer them with a solution that might be too difficult to comprehend, especially if one is a politician or works for the government. America has the decision to change its own government. If things are not working well, the power of the democratic government can choose to change to better help the people. Unfortunately, this solution requires many long debates and indecision, which I fear is too much for the modern politician to handle. The politicians that unfortunately run this country are hard-headed and are not open to practical solutions; they tend to draw problems out past the actual deadline. Political parties will be our demise and ironically we are the only people that can end it. If we do not try to change anything at all, like we have not been the past 200 years, our country might finally cease to exist, respectively, on a worldwide scale. I am sure many Americans are frustrated with the insults and stereotypes we receive from other countries that are actually communicating and succeeding, and to be an American is far more than supporting an elephant or a donkey. Perhaps, in one's views of America, it is not considered American if one does not do things for a resulting positive effect, but instead because one is too greedy and narcissistic to do things for the greater good.

Now, while many people with the education of an elite ivy league school might inspect my idea and announce it preposterous, my modern problem requires a modern solution. Without proposing a solution like this would only continue to hold back America's growth. This proposal might be rejected by the highest authority of America, but is not rejected by the majority. The people of America know what they want, and what they want for this country. This solution shall be proposed to the official government of America after reaching a reasonable amount of signatures, and will continue to grow as awareness is spread. Once the solution is approved and conversed about, it will become in affect the January of the following year. As I watch idly by, in my homeland of Turkey, I will see the States of America beautifully flourish because of a foreigners idea. George Washington would be proud.

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- Tesu :)

#writer #wrtiting #creative wrting #my wrting #politics #funny #honestly though #questions #thinking #hmmm #essay #original

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koagema-a · 5 years

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eliza. hi, i might delete this soon but... it’s munday, yayyyy

#(i’m about to start wrtiting an essay! not yay )#i don’t know… i’ll just sleep a little more. // * [ eliza ]#and i’m on mobile! ugh )

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socialbutts · 6 years

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How To Help a Grieving, Depressed, or Suicidal Friend Cope Better

Comforting people is no doubt a very important part of a friendship., but that doesn’t make it easy. Very little people know how to perfectly comfort people in their times of need no matter how natural most acts of compassion may be for them. However difficult it can be for them, they never want to feel as though they’ve let your friend down by not being there for them. Especially if they haven’t had consistent contact with said person.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

If you are not in a situation where you can’t be with someone physically, do not offer. If you cannot immediately drop everything to be with this person, do not speak as if you can. Instead do what you would normally do what you’d do as if you were to hang out with this person and set a date and time to meet or visit. Getting their hopes up is only going to make them want to shut themselves away and feel more alone due to empty promises. If you want to take them somewhere do it, but remember to be responsible.

Get Them Out of the House

This is especially helpful for someone grieving of a loss in the family. Reminders may be everywhere and getting away from them can be helpful in short doses. Taking them somewhere is a good way to remind them that they aren’t alone, and that you definitely haven’t forgotten them in their time of need. Problems of grief or depression is are not usually predictable so it’s hard to know when a friend could be struggling more than usual. It’d be good to consistently hang out with this person if possible so that they always know they have something to constantly look forward to.

How To Listen Better

Having someone to talk to is one of the most beneficial things for someone who is dealing with a loss, or is just in a bad place mentally. It is okay to not know what to say to someone who is opening up to you. All you need to do is be there for them, advice is not always necessary unless they explicitly ask for it. Remembering that not everyone has access to a doctor or therapy is also important. Please respect that your friend has chosen you to talk to out of trust and love. However, when you have such a friend do not force them to open up to you if they’re not ready to talk. Everytime you dismiss a claim or pry you make it so this person has one less person to speak to about their problems.

Things to Avoid Saying When Comforting Someone:

Anything Religious: The other person may not have the same specific views or stance as you regardless of if you share the same religion.

Bringing Up Bad Situations/Their Own Privilege: A lot of people who are in a state of depression already understand how good they may have it due to the fact that people love to point it out when one tells them they are in a time of need. All this really does is make them feel guilty and ungrateful. Many people cannot help that they feel helpless or depressed and seeing ‘how good they have it’ can be quite damaging to an already damaged mental state.

Telling Them to Move on: Chances are that’s already what they are trying to do, but simply ‘forgetting’ a situation ever happened is way too unrealistic to even be obtainable.

Comparing Problems: If you are also depressed or are dealing with your own issues do not bring it up in the middle of their rant unless your aim is to tell them that you understand what they’re going through. Do not make depression seem like a competition.

More Practical Ways to Help

Remember to not offer help if you are not actually going to go through with it. Only offer to do something if you can actually get it done effectively. You can offer pretty much anything you can think of in their daily lives that you’d normally do for a friend: cleaning, grocery shopping, babysitting, driving, or just making phone calls for them. If they open up to you saying that they have great difficulty with a specific task then offer to help. A little help can go a long way.

Take Note of What Your Friend Says to You

If your friend mentions suicide around you take it seriously. It doesn’t matter if seemed like a joke at the time, a lot of suicidal people cope by joking about their depression. Just because they don’t seem like they mean it doesn’t mean that they haven’t at the very least considered it. This doesn’t immediately mean that you have to contact someone to get help, but please ask them about it and talk about it when you can. Your friend may have just opened up to you and asked that they want you to keep it a secret. If they directly tell you about suicide and make their intentions clear (or if they don’t but they give off a few warning signs) tell someone. If you are in school tell a guidance counselor, or their parents (so long as they are open minded and you know they’ll be safe), if you are out of school tell they’re loved ones. Do whatever you can to make sure this person is safe but try to not breach trust if possible.

Sources

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm

#essay #my article #suicide #prevention #depression #helping #self help #guide #grief #grieving #loss #friendship #ally #my wrtiting

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creative-anchor-blog · 6 years

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Look at all these lovely editing pens? Do you need help editing papers or essays? For applications? For school? For your own creative purposes? I can help! I have helped many people edit their papers and have sat on essay reading boards and know what to look for! Hit up my message box if you need a fellow studyblr to take a look and let me know what kind of guidance you need... If I have the time I'll give you a hand 😉

#studyblr #studyblr community #studyquill #study blog #essay help #essay writing #wrtiting #creative writing #writing tips #ESSAY tips #college apps #college applications #college help #school help #studying help

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thequeenofallcreation · 7 years

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FYI In the new Microsoft office u can set up spellcheck to check for racial bias or gender specific language

#well done microsoft #figured this out when wrtiting an essay on gay marrige

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confessions-of-a-hs-graduat-blog · 7 years

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Chapter 5: Wigglebum-itis

I started to have what the school diplomatically referred to as behavioural issues in the second grade. The teacher, Mrs. S, sent home letter after letter bemoaning my various disruptions: pestering other students during Quiet Time, cracking jokes, moving around when I was meant to be sitting still, and sitting still when I was meant to be moving around.

Look, I have an infinite amount of sympathy for teachers. Firstly, they’re shamefully underpaid; secondly, class sizes keep growing and growing; and lastly, constant budget cuts mean there just aren’t enough resources for students with special needs. Among other things, to say the least. I feel them. I really do.

So I can hardly blame Mrs. S., for what happened next, and I totally don’t want her to fall into a bottomless pit filled with snakes, and I would never want it so that the snakes bite her as she is falling; or that the pit would have no bottom and so she just keeps falling and being bitten by snakes. For eternity.

Flustered by my “wigglebum-itis” as she scientifically put it, Mrs. S. created a Behavioural Chart. The Behavioural Chart was laid out not unlike the Universal Pain Assessment Tool that doctors use to judge the level of pain in their patients, and was roughly as esoteric. For each day of the school week, I would receive a sticker with a face that corresponded to how much of a little shit I’d been on a given day – happy, sad, inflamed with rage, drinking problem. Each day, I would take the Behaviour Chart home and present it to my parents, who would either see that I’d been “good” that day and be pleased, or see that I’d been “bad”, and beat me.

Oh – that wasn’t the way it was intended to work?

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My father had a long, hard ruler. It’s not the title of an incest porn, but what eventually became a daily reality. It was eighteen inches long, made of blond wood, and had a thin, sharp metal edge along the numbered side, ostensibly for drawing more accurate lines. I like to think about the manufacturer of that ruler, and what they imagined their customers would use them for. Perhaps they pictured architects working busily at their angled desks, maybe the next Frank Lloyd Wright, designing buildings for people to live and work in. Or maybe they imagined a dedicated student, feverishly changing out ruler for protractor for compass, studying for college. Certainly they didn’t imagine them being used to hit children. Or they did, but they kept it to themselves and select subreddits.

Sadly, that isn’t what the ruler was used for. With broad strokes, my father brought the ruler down on my backside, my legs, whatever part of my wriggling, escaping self presented itself.

I’d love to tell you that a couple good whuppins set me straight, and that I sat down and shut up during Quiet Time, and quit cracking jokes, and it was all thanks a little Fear ‘o God and the Almighty Ruler.

But in reality, after a little more digging, a few visits to the school counselor, a few of those highly entertaining standardized tests, it was determined that I was just “gifted” – which is 80s-speak for “I already know all this shit already” – and it was no wonder that I was disturbing the other children, for I was bored out of my gourd. I have to hand it to Mrs. S. for figuring that out – cheers, Mrs. S.; I hope the snakes in the bottomless pit are not poisonous, and are just, like, garter snakes.

I was packed off part-time to a special program for gifted students, where we really did “discover our desks”, and that was that. Or at least, it should have been. The Behaviour Chart was put away, but the ruler was here for good.

---

It’s difficult to talk about personal experiences with abuse – unless it’s extreme – without running the risk of sounding like a whiny, self-serving mess. There’s always someone who had it worse: children locked in closets, starved and forced to eat and sleep and play in puddles of their own waste; children whipped with belts until cuts gape open on their backs like toothless grins; children sexually assaulted by those who are meant to love and protect them the most. I’ve experienced none of that.

And I do have perspective. My parents are not horrible people; they simply should not have been parents. My father had anger issues – he wasn’t a psychopath who took special pleasure in causing me pain – I don’t think – though it certainly seemed to make him feel better in general. That said, while I know I rank pretty low on the list of People Whose Parents Fucked Them Up, I still refuse to minimize my experiences.

Because they don’t stop when the abuse stops, and it isn’t just the emotional scars that you carry with you for the rest of your life. Instead, it’s the extra pain you carry when something terrible happens and you don’t have a mom to call just to hear her say something that’ll make you feel better, even though you know it’s not true, like, Well, fuck that other person, there isn’t anything wrong with you, so don’t even worry about it (I like to imagine my ideal mother as throwing around the word ‘fuck’ rather casually).

Or, it’s the burden of deciding, when it comes to your wedding day, Who will walk me down the aisle? Should I choose someone else – which will result in people feeling sorry for me – or walk by myself – which will also result in people feeling sorry for me? It’s two less people you can call when you’re in trouble, two less people in your life that you can count on, no matter what.

In truth, the main reason it’s difficult to relay these experiences is because, in a lot of cases, I just don’t remember. I used to; I carried these memories for a long time, until some were dulled by the passage of time, their edges made less sharp. Some were claimed by the mercy of advancing age, some replaced by greater horrors still to come. What I have left is not unlike the snapshots in an old photo album: damaged, faded, and just barely intact.

But I remember: My mother smearing my hand across the urine-spackled inside rim of the toilet, because she didn’t like the way I cleaned it; my father, asking me whether I’d like my beating before or after dinner; my mother, open-palm slapping me in the face, when I was still small enough for the recoil to send me sprawling across the room.

I won’t proselytize here about the drawbacks or merits of physically disciplining children – although, frankly, it’s my goddamn book, and I have every right to, and it’s only fear of Amazon Reviews holding me back – but I will say that the only lasting lesson I learned from meeting the wrong end of that ruler (which, as it happens, was either end) was to fear my parents, and in particular, my father, as my mother eventually grew too apathetic even to raise a hand against her child. When the beatings started, and as they continued throughout my childhood and adolescence, he evolved from Grumpy 50s Dad – always sleeping or playing some weird porny computer game – to Terrifying Evil Dad, a man around whom you walked on eggshells.

As far as I know, he never laid a hand on my mother, for which I’m grateful. They had some nasty blow-out fights, to be sure, but they never turned physical. If anything, their arguments, instead of frightening, as they would have been for a normal child, were a source of fascination for me. I would sit on the floor of my room with an ear glued to the door, straining to hear every disdainfully-slung bon mot they hurled at each other.

I can only explain it like this: when they were fighting, the focus was, for a brief moment in time, somewhere other than me. I’m sure other only children can empathize; the unwavering attentions of a parent, whether for better or for worse, can be exhausting as a child. I was both the focus of too much attention – the beatings, the scrutiny of my behaviour, the reamings-out – and an immense amount of benign neglect. So for their cannons to be trained on each other for a change was a special treat. It’s sick, but to this day, I love to eavesdrop on a good fight, whether I know the participants or not. All my husband has to do is bellow - The neighbors are fighting again! - and I’ll come running.

As I moved through elementary school, their relationship didn’t so much deteriorate as it did flatline – my father spent increasing amounts of time either at work or on the computer, and my mother spent most of hers folded inside the big floral armchair in front of the television. They didn’t argue much at all, but they didn’t talk much, either. Most of their discussions centred around the administration of day-to-day life, and avoided dangerous topics like things they enjoyed or personal goals.

As a result, our family unit – if, in fact, it could ever have been called that – began to break down. When I was small, we ate together at a small, brown veneer table in the kitchen; now we ate on TV trays in front of the televisions – different televisions – in different rooms. They ate upstairs, I ate downstairs. Afterwards, we each retired to our corners. Computer. Armchair. And me to the solitude of my room.

My mother became increasingly shrill about this dynamic, though she failed to actually do anything about it. And I’d played alone for my entire life up until this point, so why would I change now? My father squarely placed the blame on me, as if we three comprised something in delicate balance, and my retreat alone threw everything off course.

“You’re the source of all the problems in this family,” he said casually to me one day, in the kitchen, in the same tone a mechanic might use when recommending you look into an oil change some time soon. There wasn’t much I could say to that. I felt somehow that it wasn’t true, but everything I’d seen and experienced up until that point said that it was.

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ttransthirteen · 2 years

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IM SO TIRED OF WRTITING MY ESSAY I JUST WANNA PLAY MINECRAFTTTT

#SDFASAADAAAAAAAAA #im TIRED #its not even hard idk why i cant do it i just CANT #i just keep opening and closing the tab ughghghghghhghghghghghghhghh

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imhimarigigi · 3 years

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1.10.21

Another day pass by, today, I haven't done anything better, but at least, today I decide to study Math. i hate it the most, but Math's never boring. It's fun but for a dumbie like me, haha I would rather writting essay for 1-2hr than doing Math for 30m. It gives me so many headache, and especially after you solved the problem, you realized how easy it is. But anyway, I tried.

Today I finish 2 tasks, wrtiting out new words and studying a little bit of Math, about the rest, I don't remember anything, I don't sleep much today, but still. So uncomfortable, unfulfillment. But it is something for the future. I get very down in the afternoon, esp if I wake up too late. I still complete my task but a headache very hurt me badly.

Recently these day, I don't have the mood for project N, yeah, I just feel like, I want to learn more as a co-founder, not just giving task, give opinion. No I want sth more, I'm okay with be a member, but at least let me try something new. Something I have no fvcking knowledge of it. These just make me realize how unskill i am, my leadership or teamwork at the moment are not enough. Besides my project, I start to think abt a specific job/ major i aim to, the biggest at the moment are HR and Event Management, Fundraiser looks fun too. I got a plan B, in case I can't go to FulBright or RMIT, I will choose a Vietnam uni which link to oversea school.

But at least, I come back to write daily, haha good sign right. After a time of stopping write daily, I think it will make me be more "independent" haha, joke on me, have you besides is much better. Realize how mess up a day is without a proper plan, I make it better tomorrow, haha.

Goodnight,

himari.

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aziraphaleandcrowley · 3 years

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Sometimes I really wish I could just finish something. I have a 4000 word start of essay + 30000 word document of research about asexuality on screen which I wanna base my masters degree on - but I’ll probably never actually do a masters so what’s the point - but I don’t wanna write it unless it’s for my masters cos I want it to actually be good and mean something.

But I also have an 11000 words worth of writing and research for an essay I was gonna write about destiel - and now I just don’t care about it at all. Like, congrats they got married, but I just don’t care about them anymore, nor the C*W hell so that’s not going anywhere either

I’ve also got like 4000 words in writing and research about Schitt’s Creek but I just don’t have the effort.

And I know that Current Events TM don’t help with being motivated to do anything but ugh. I love wrtiting essays and I really wish I could get some inspiration back pls.

(I ramble about life after this so ignore if you wanna)

I could actually do my masters this year if I could find enough motivation and inspiration to actually want to, but I know that even if I could find the effort to go through the application process and actually get in, that I wouldn’t have the effort or time management skills to actually get what I want out of it.

Does not help that I’m aro?ace and not out to my family -cos why should I have to announce that I’m not sexually or romantically attracted to people really? If I find someone I actually like enough to have a relationship then great, but considering I can barely maintain friendships I’m not hopeful - but anyway I’m not out to my family and I wanna do a gender and sexuality masters degree writing about representations of asexuality on screen and do not want to have to announce that to my family cos I don’t see how I’d be able to do that without outing myself or lying and I don’t wanna do that either. I don’t even want to announce it to people other than my closest friends cos as soon as you mention gender studies, let alone sexuality studies, no one takes you seriously - speaking from experience after mentioning it to one of my colleagues :/

Like as soon as I mention sexuality studies I feel like people are gonna see me as queer - which I am - but I don’t want them to and Idek. Living at home with my parents makes it difficult to work out who I actually am and want to be cos I’m always hiding parts of who I am - and I probably don’t need to, I mean my mums at least a little homophobic but I think that’s more uneducated than anything but my dad is chill. But I don’t wanna come out in actual terms and not just ‘I’m not interested in anyone’ which I say now, cos I don’t wanna say, oh yeah I’m not attracted to anyone, but I still wanna date and have sex and that could be with a guy or a gal or a non-binary person, let’s see what the future holds.

I don’t know how to own/be proud/be confident in my sexuality/queerness and it making it difficult to be proud/confident/open about queerness in general. I still avoid watching queer things around my parents, listening to tv with headphones cos I don’t want to come off as too interested in queer things. My Netflix list is full of queer stuff which I try and avoid my parents seeing cos it’s like 99% queer which feels very telling. I’ve embroidered little pride flags that I have not allowed my parents to see. I’m current crocheting an ace flag coloured jumper which I’m not explaining in the slightest and I’m gonna do a David rose inspired pride love heart jumper next which I’m hoping doesn’t get questioned. I’ve been reading queer fanfic for like 10 years and to this day I haven’t let on to what I’m reading about. I’ll say I’m reading about Merlin, or supernatural etc, but never any extra details cos that’s too gay. I get asked what I want to watch on tv and I’ll rarely say anything cos all I watch is queer stuff I don’t want to be be judged by. Or more like I don’t want do anything that could lead to questions about my sexuality cos I don’t wanna lie but I don’t wanna be out either. I don’t want to say no I’m not gay cos I might end up in a relationship with a girl one day and that would be great. But I’m not straight either and my parents wouldn’t even know aceness is a thing. I hate that I’m like this but I am. It feels safe even though I know there’s no actual danger in revealing myself

Ugh I’m not even gay but I have so much internalised homophobia about being judged as being queer idk.

I think I’d benefit from speaking to someone about this - like professionally, cos this just cycles around my brain and has done for months on end. Plus changes in situations now means my parents will see very little - if any - inheritance so they won’t be able to afford to live once my dad retires and I feel like it falls on my shoulders as an only child to try and deal with that even tho it’s not really. Ugh. But with restrictions meaning you can’t see anyone, the only way I’d be able to speak to someone is from my own home, where my parents are and who I don’t want to overhear me speaking about my many issues. Plus accessing mental health help in the uk at the best of times is terrible, speaking from my mums experience and, being a cheap ass, I don’t wanna have to pay for the privilege even knowing it’s be beneficial.

Idk. Ever since last year when I realised I wanted to study gender and sexuality studies after doing an online course looking at representations of women in the media run by a uni in Glasgow, then realising studying in Glasgow seemed amazing not just because I could leave home and study something I wanted in a beautiful place but also in a place which has a queer bookstore and therefore a queer community and queer events and being able to picture myself living a better life in a better place, then realising that that uni course wouldn’t actually be best suited to my interests, and that I couldn’t actually afford to study in Glasgow anyway, and that I’d have to use all savings I didn’t even have at that point to afford to even go to uni, then COVID happening I just don’t know what I wanna do. There was a solid week or two when it all sounded amazing and possible and I could see the future opening up with so much potential for actually getting to live the life I might actually be happy with and now I just don’t know. I don’t.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this. This wasn’t my intention when I started writing, I just wanted to moan about my stack of word documents gathering cyber dust on OneDrive...

I’m gonna nap now I think, or try to at least. But at least this is written and going into the tumblr void and therefore out of my head, even for a little while.

#Rebecca speaks #ignore my ramblings #gonna actually try and kick my ass into gear later and see it that helps.#sorry to the peeps who have recently followed me for Schitt’s creek content who haven’t experienced one of my rambling sessions yet

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imperium-romanum · 6 years

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Tip Tuesday | Mind Maps

One of the hardest things about starting a postgraduate degree is just that - starting. Even if you have a good idea of what your topic is, it can be difficult to decide what to do first because you’re faced with so many questions.

What gap is my research filling?

Who are my sources?

Who are the leading academics in my field?

What topic should I start with?

Should I decide on a chapter or thesis structure now, or after I’ve done more reading?

What methodologies should I use?

All of these questions are part of the early academic journey, but they can also be overwhelming. One of the best things to do when starting out is to make a mind map. Because their format is flexible they can grow with you on your early academic journey.

This was the first mindmap I made in March this year, just a few weeks after the start of my candidature, when I wasn’t sure how to start wrtiting my research rationale.

Not very pretty, I know, but it is possible to track my lines of thought. Broad topics have emerged, as well as sources and methodologies.

Now compare my first mind map with the updated version, made one month later in April.

These are A3 pages, by the way.

Using my first mind map as a blue print, I built on the primary aspects of my project. I've actually added extensively to it since then, but even in this early version I could see clearly where I had gaps in my knowledge, where I was breaking now ground, and what methodologies I would employ. I could even begin to construct a broad outline of my thesis. Using my mind map, I was also able to think of of my research questions, which I use to direct my reading and thesis focus.

So, if you’re just starting out in your Masters, PhD, or even writing an essay and you’re struggling to untangle your thoughts, think about drawing a mind map to tease out those mental knots.

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