#ethlie ann vare

[affectiondeficitdisorder]

Denial: Still Not A River In Egypt

Ethlie Ann Vare 1994, Meet Ethlie Ann Vare 2023

As I mentioned the last time we spoke, I’ve been cleaning out old file cabinets. It takes me a while, because I can get lost in nostalgia when I open a box of memories. This is why I hired an assistant for the job; she has no emotional attachment to any of my crap. Highly recommend, if you’re planning on doing any Swedish Death Cleaning yourself.

Did you know I was actually a productive and hard-working journalist, back when they paid you money for that sort of thing? Go figure. I wasn’t bad at it, either, it appears; I have totally forgotten writing 3/4 of these articles, and have frequently surprised and delighted myself reading them. 

I was more surprised and less delighted when I unearthed a piece I wrote for Australian ELLE Magazine back in 1994 about love addiction and codependency. 1994 was about five years before I crawled into my first meeting of SLAA, and at the time I guess I thought that all this talk of “sex and romance are just like drugs and alcohol” was at best overstated, at worst a grift. A string of hopeless crushes that leave you in fetal position on the floor, that’s just the human condition, right?

So, hey, sometimes I am wrong. Rarely 😉, but it happens. Still, the article is good. Note: I think the last paragraph is missing. But we both know where it was going. I was about to say something along the lines of “Recovery. It might not help. But it couldn’t hurt.” That, I still believe. To paraphrase author John Bradshaw, whom I interviewed for the piece (I remember doing that - he was great), maybe people were yelling “House afire!” when it was just a match in the wastepaper basket. But still… hot, yes?

#love addiction #love addict #recovery #relationships #codependency #John Bradshaw

[queen-bi-blog]

My fear of abandonment is exceeded

only by my terror of intimacy.

- Ethlie Ann Vare

#ethlie ann vare #ethlie ann vare quotes #quotes #quoteoftheday #encouragement #deep thoughts #inspirational quotes #beautiful quote #deep quotes #inspiration #life #inspire #poetry quotes #inspiring quotes #book quotes #quote #motivational quotes #love quote #qotd #love qotd #motivational qotd #qotd motivation inspiration #daily qotd #daily inspiration #anxitey #fear of abandonment #terror of intimacy

[concernedlizard]

This month I had to present a project about a director’s filmography and career, and I decided to be quirky and do someone I knew no one else would think of: Barba Streisand. And like the crazy person I am, I read seven books about her in preparation for my presentation. I am psychically connected with this woman now.

Hello, Gorgeous by William J. Mann

This is the most comprehensive book about the start of Barbra Streisand’s career, from when she joined Allan Miller’s theater studios to her becoming a huge star with her role as Fanny Brice on Broadway. It focuses also on the other people in her life during this time and how they affected her career and personal life. I find that it gives a very frank view of Streisand being a messy young person who often failed others in her life and kept many at a distance while still seeing her as a complex, sympathetic person who didn’t mean to hurt others. A thing I found out about Barbra Streisand is that she was very contradictory in nature - she kept others at a distance but still wanted to be the center of someone’s attention, she was extremely shy and reserved yet loved attention and had a very intense personality, she would often go through emotional extremes and often obsessive focus while being a very internal person who was very “stiff-lipped,” etc. What I felt weird about was the lack of information about Streisand’s childhood which was very traumatic, he does talk a bit about it but he does not go in-depth on the available information of what is known about Streisand’s early life. Though I will say that this kind of armchair analysis of a real person's life is a very dangerous thing to do, you will never know 100% what happened and there is a difference between connecting patterns of behavior or childhood events to later life and speculation of persons internal and personal life. Anyways, can I just say that this woman has had a crazy, non-stop life? Like so much happens in a few years, she went straight to the top.

The Greatest Star by Rene Jordan

I felt weird reading this novel. It’s not like it was inaccurate, but the prose was very Cosmo in a way that made it feel salacious to read like a tabloid. Often I found myself thinking how do you know that - Jordan, unlike Mann, does not cite sources. This is an older book so I’m unsure if it was not yet de rigueur to site your claims as a biographer, but I still personally find it a bit off-putting to read. Still, Jordan does get the feel and atmosphere right as to how it felt to be in the moment. I think that this would be a good read for those who find biographies to be usually boring. This was published in 1975 which was basically at the height of Streisand’s fame - the next year A Star is Born (her highest-grossing film ever) was released if you need a feel for what her career looked like.

Streisand by Anne Edwards

This is one of two of the most comprehensive of the biographies out there on Barbra Streisand and the more recent one. It is one of the few books that talks about her later career and her film The Mirror Has Two Faces, which I needed for my project. It also gave me a bunch of insane Jon Peters information, like this man was genuinely unleased in the 70s in the way only a white man could truly be. Not to go on a Jon Peters tangent, but like this man just said things with no regard to how it would affect other people. Like he once asked someone to tell Streisand that her son was gay, and when this person was like how do you know, Peters then said well I know because he’s really into antiques. This man is insane to say that but his antics now live in my head rent free. I think this book gives multiple perspectives into Barbra Streisand in regards to how people viewed her and how she interacted with others. 

Diva by Ethlie Ann Vare

This was a collection of pieces written about Barbra Streisand over 30 years of her career. I found it interesting to read how she was talked about throughout the years and what journalists choose to focus on. This was a curated selection and I am unsure how to feel that they did not include some of the more...spiteful things said about her. They did include one that was more in line with how people often talked about her, personally nitpicking and hiding behind movie reviews or critics to air their dislike of her. The one they included was about how people didn’t like The Prince of Tides because she had long nails, an insane thing to say and yet not the worst I found while researching how she was talked about. This also includes an article that Nora Ephron wrote on Streisand which I loved, icon recognize icon.

On Streisand by Ethan Mordden

I feel a bit weird about this, Ethan Mordden certainly knows his stuff but I hate some of his conclusions. Like, this is an opinion book looking at Barbra Streisand’s entire oeuvre, and yeah he knows his stuff but he’s kind of an asshole. On one hand, I love how much of a hater he is, I can relate. On the other hand, however, he says some things that are smell a bit of elitism, a little bit of a classist vibe but it is his taste. And he sometimes says laughably ridiculous things, his fictions about Streisand - like her being not doing certain films because she was intimidated by their directors. A ridiculous thing to say considering this is a woman who told Ingmar Bergman that his script needed some rewriting and then gave him notes. (So sad that they never made a movie together, but I don’t know what Bergman expected like she did this with every movie she was a part of from the start of her career.)

Barbra by James Spada

This is a photo book of Streisand’s early career that has at the time reviews of her work and other additional information. This one mainly gave me a good idea of how Streisand’s work was generally received by critics.

Her Name is Barbra by Randall Riese

An incredibly in-depth biography of Streisand’s life. Riese interviews various people that knew her through various stages of her life, I find that he gives the best look into early life. I’m quite shocked that even now people do not acknowledge just how traumatic Streisand’s early life was and how her later behavior in life, especially in regards to her insecurities, is made fun of and viewed as “vanities” rather than the result of intense childhood trauma. It is also very 90s in how it talks about women, even if it is about Barbra Streisand.

#barbra streisand #books

[renatosampaio101]

Aplicativo falha e donos de Tesla não conseguem abrir seus carros

A tecnologia é sempre uma benção, até que ela falha. E foi o que aconteceu essa semana com os proprietários de carros da Tesla. Com opção ao uso da chave, a empresa oferece um aplicativo para abrir e ligar o carro, porém ele falhou graças a uma queda na rede.

De acordo com o site Downdetector.com, os proprietários que não estavam com a chave física por perto ou não conseguiram pedir para alguém trazer, ficaram impossibilitados por três horas de acessar ou utilizar seus veículos.

Americana implanta chip de abertura do carro no corpo

Problemas com Model 3 faz marca perder contrato milionário

O site diz também que o problema teria sido causado por uma manutenção que estava sendo realizada no sistema que acomoda a base do aplicativo. O problema, de usar o aplicativo, como pode se esperar é que �� preciso estar sempre conectado a internet, o que pede uma rede confiável.

A Tesla não confirmou a queda do sistema e do aplicativo e nem que tenha derrubado o sistema para fazer uma manutenção. Abaixo duas reclamações de usuários sobre a queda do sistema no twitter:

⁦@Tesla⁩ ⁦@Model3Owners⁩ – App fixed, side effect of some extra sentry cam footage. #laszlogoforride pic.twitter.com/X3Sw8rQbt6

— Ethlie Ann Vare (@ethlie) September 4, 2019

@Tesla your server is down for maintenance and we’re locked out of the car. What’s your ETA?

— Melissa Chan (@melissachanhk) September 2, 2019

INSCREVA-SE NO CANAL DO JORNAL DO CARRO NO YOUTUBE

Os 20 carros mais vendidos em agosto:

https://jornaldocarro.estadao.com.br/carros/aplicativo-tesla-carros-chave/ visto pela primeira vez em https://jornaldocarro.estadao.com.br

#IFTTT #Jornal do Carro – Estadão

[cheshirelibrary]

Happy Girl Day!

Girl Day happens during National Engineers Week, and is a worldwide campaign to introduce girls to the fascinating world of engineering. Thousands of people—engineers, teachers and others—act as Role Models and educate girls about how engineers change our world. This simple act has turned many girls on to engineering & technology careers.

Because you can’t be what you don’t see, here are some books are sure to boost engagement for girls in science and math:

Ada Twist, Scientist by Andrea Beaty

Rosie Revere, Engineer by Andrea Beaty

Daring Amelia by Barbara Lowell

Hidden Figures (Young Readers' Edition) by Margot Lee Shetterly

Radioactive!  by Winifred Conkling

Who Is Jane Goodall? by Roberta Edwards

Who Was Marie Curie? by Megan Stine

Who Was Sally Ride? by Megan Stine

Who Was Rachel Carson? by Sarah Fabiny

Trailblazers : 33 Women in Science Who Changed the World by Rachel Swaby

Women in Science : 50 Fearless Pioneers Who Changed the World by Rachel Ignotofsky                                                                                    

Women Inventors & Their Discoveries by Ethlie Ann Vare and Greg Ptacek

#cheshire library #girl day #women in science #national engineers week #girls in science #science and engineering

[dissociativeidentitydisorderblog]

Sex Addiction near 54501 Wisconsin

AS: I simply sat down with the author Ethlie Anne Vare and told my story to her over lunch. ... Sex Addiction near 54501 Wisconsin published first on http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.org

[theunteachableten]

Affection deficit disorder. It's a lot like alcoholism: one's too many and a thousand's not enough. ~

#love addict #ethlie #book #Ethlie Ann Vare

[affectiondeficitdisorder]

Love Addict on the Radio

Lucia interviews Ethlie this Sunday 11/6/2011 on The Art of Love -- live at www.latalkradio.com on channel 1  3pm PT/6pm ET.  You can hear the show in real time by clicking on:  Click to Listen Live  or catch up later in the archives.  It gets podcast via iTunes, too. 

I think we'll be talking about Cougars and Cubs.  Sounds like fun to me!

#The Art of Love #LA Talk Radio #ethlie ann vare #Lucia Demasi

[affectiondeficitdisorder]

Dodging the Bullet?

This newswire story landed in my inbox a few times, as you can imagine:

AMSTERDAM (AP) — Dutch prosecutors are charging a 42-year-old woman with stalking after she allegedly called her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in the past year.

The 62-year-old victim from The Hague filed a police complaint in August due to the persistent phone calls. Police arrested the suspected stalker Monday, seizing several cell phones and computers from her home in Rotterdam.

Hague prosecution spokeswoman Nicolette Stoel said Thursday the woman argued to judges at a preliminary hearing she had a relationship with the man and the number of calls she placed to him wasn't excessive. The man denied they had a relationship.

The court ordered her not to contact him again.

It’s the kind of story that makes a love addict wipe her brow and exclaim, “See!  I don’t have a problem.  She has a problem.”  It’s analogous to the feeling of relief a closet drinker has when a Skid Row wino cleans his windshield with a dirty rag. “See!” he smiles through the streaky window,  “I don’t have a problem.  He has a problem.”

Old joke:

Him: Hypothetical question: Would you have sex with a stranger for a million dollars?

Her: A million dollars?  Yeah.  Sure I would.

Him: Great!  How about having sex with me for fifty dollars? 

Her: Are you nuts?  What do you think I am?

Him: We already established that.  Now we’re negotiating price.

The point is… it’s all matter of degree.  Fifty bucks is a whore; a million is a Robert Redford/Demi Moore movie.  Sixty-five thousand phone calls is a stalker; 65 is an episode of Gossip Girl.  Where do you draw the line?  Can you honestly say that you never called someone a second (or third) time when they didn’t return your call the first time?  After all, they might have accidentally deleted your message.  Or the cell phone might have cut out -- it’s AT&T; it happens.  Or maybe they lost your digits.  Or lost their phone.  Or they did call you back, but you didn't get it because... um, it's AT&T.  It’s amazing the excuses the addict brain will come up with and the urgency to which it attaches making that call.

I feel that Dutch woman, unable to go ten minutes without at least hearing the sound of his voice on his voicemail.  I relate to that urgency; it's like drowning and suffocating at the same time.  Withdrawal in love addiction is as physical and palpable as a nicotine fit, and she had a three-pack-a-day crush.

You might only smoke half a pack a day; that doesn’t mean you’re not a nicotine addict.  Just because you don’t make 65,000 phone calls, but only peek at his Facebook page sometimes… or occasionally drive past her house… or just happen to join the same gym… don’t think that none of this applies to you.

#love addiction #sex addiction #ethlie ann vare