#evan 'buck' buckley
Title: Slowly, Because I Love You
Relationship: Evan "Buck" Buckley/ Eddie Diaz
Summary: It was late Saturday afternoon and they were sitting on the couch, Chris scrolling through movies trying to find the perfect Disney movie to rewatch for the hundredth time over.
Eddie treasured these moments when Chris still wanted to spend his Saturday with his dad, snuggled in fuzzy blankets and buttery homemade popcorn capitalizing their appetite, because he knew it would eventually come to an end. That part of him so selfishly wanted to let them continue about their routine. The other half of him, the part of him that was screaming that he doesn’t want Chris to be like him, forced him to disrupt the afternoon.
“Christopher, is everything all right?”
“Yeah, dad,” Chris replies flatly
He places a hand on Chris’ knee to get his attention,
“You know you can tell me or talk to me about anything.”
“Everyone leaves,” Chris says, eyes still fixed on the tv, watching as different titles fly by.
Or Chris thinks Buck is leaving and it leads to important conversations that reveal lots of truths.
A/N: A gift for the amazing @djdangerlove because of this post. Also a shoutout to @evaneddie @moonlightbuckleys and @matan4il and their close examination of the shooting scene, and shout out to @archerincombat and @adamsparirsh and their meta and thoughts about the will scene because these things were floating around while I was writing their essence snuck their way into whatever this monster has become.
Read it on AO3
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Thinking about Margaret and Phillip not liking nicknames and refusing to call Buck "Buck" vs the firefam not only embracing "Buck" but taking it even further and nicknaming him "Buckaroo" on top of that. Thinking about the familiarity and comfort of a nickname, how Chim and Hen and Carla use "Buckaroo" so affectionately, thinking about "people who know me call me Buck" and how the Buckleys haven't earned the familiarity of nicknames because they don't actually know who their son is.
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19 for buddie, if it ✨
19. One person stopping a kiss to ask “Do you want to do this?”, only to have the other person answer with a deeper, more passionate kiss.
It happened in the matter of time between an inhale and an exhale.
The seconds it took for Buck's chest expand and Eddie was already storming across the distance between them by the time all the air was whistling past his lips. That's how long it took Eddie to decide to jump before he was grabbing Buck's face and slamming his mouth over Buck's in a desperate, angry all-consuming kiss. One that hurt from where Buck's top lip had split as Eddie's tongue bullied Buck's mouth open.
One that said all the things neither of them could say in the heat of their frustration with one another.
It was a mean kiss. One that was meant to show the other just how much hurt and agony they carried in their chest.
But it was their first kiss and one that Buck wanted to drink up like water as it ruined him. Ruined him from ever being able to even think of kissing anyone else but Eddie.
He curled his hands around Eddie's waist and whimpered at the sting of his mouth as Eddie kissed him back with the same franticness that galloped across his stoic dark eyes. Eddie kissed like he was something born in the wild, claiming and possessive, and Buck wanted to be claimed and possessed. He wanted the sting and the bruise and the beard burn and the tingle of knowing what Eddie tasted like.
Eddie tasted like too burnt coffee and spearmint from the toothpaste he kept in his locker. He tasted like something spicy yet sweet and all the things that made Buck's head spin as he begged him for more more more!
Buck fisted his shirt with trembling fingers as the comedown from adrenaline surged back up in his chest with a flashover of heat and want. He yanked his shirt up as far as he could so he could touch him. So he could feel him. Feel the way his skin was warm and smooth beneath his palms as he ran them up his back, pressing fingertips into the muscles to know he was real.
Buck's lungs screamed for air but he would gladly suffocate if it meant getting to be consumed by Eddie for just a second longer. Just enough to know what it felt like to be bruised by Eddie's attention. A mark on his soul to carry with him.
Eddie kissed like an explosion and Buck clung to him as the aftershock rocked through them.
Distantly, he was aware enough to realize that Eddie was pushing him further into his loft. That eventually they would have nowhere else to go and they would be coming up on the precipice of a decision.
That the moment would end too soon.
It made Buck hold on longer, harder, so that he could be selfish and stretch out the moment for as long as he could.
But Eddie had been so angry with him. Angry enough that Buck had been worried that the ground beneath his feet wasn't stable anymore.
Buck had wanted Eddie for so long but if this was just some way for Eddie to release; to prove a point? Buck didn't think he could survive that.
No, Buck knew he couldn't.
Buck's lips clipped together when he pulled away and he grimaced as his split lip opened again, sending the taste of blood into his mouth enough to make his stomach turn. Pulling away felt like ripping a piece of his own soul out and holding it in front of him like a shield but he needed to know.
"Do you want to do this?" Buck asked and Eddie blinked at him as if he didn't understand what Buck was saying. He was gorgeous on a good day and looked even better when he was wrecked the way he was in Buck's arms. But that glimmer of something tired, something angry, still shadowed over his face.
"I-I..." Buck swallowed past the dryness in his throat and closed his eyes as his face throbbed in time with his hammering heartbeat. "I want this, Eddie. I want you. But I can't--"
He felt Eddie stiffen and when Buck opened his eyes again, it was to the sight of something painful flashing across Eddie's expression. Galloping like the wildness in his gaze before he smothered it down with a work of his jaw and Buck held him tighter.
"I can't do this if you're just doing this for me. I need you. Do you want to do this? Do you want me? Do--"
The sound of surprise was huffed out of Buck as his back met the counter and Eddie's lips crashed over his again. The sting on his mouth was fleeting and pulsing at the same time but it shifted into something else. Shifted when Eddie's hands cradled his jaw as soft fingers carded through his hair. Shifted when Eddie slotted his leg between Buck's and chased after him for more. Shifted as Eddie exhaled, relaxing against Buck as if he was melting and Buck was the only thing holding him up.
Shifted to something deeper and a little sad but like breathing for the first time again.
It wasn't an answer but it was close.
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Buck: I’m transfering from the 118.
The 118: LMAO the fuck? No you’re not you dramatic bitch eat your food. 💜
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Carla in 4x13: just be sure to follow your heart
Eddie's heart 5x01: freaks tf out when Ana is called Chris’ mom
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this is my favorite thing on the internet rn i’ve been thinking about it for like three days straight
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Also Buck’s face when Hen mentioned even the idea of Eddie and Ana having a baby was GOLDEN I’m so sorry
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Its really sick of writers to tell us tht Eddie, Hen, Chim and Buck all quarantined together (IN BUCK'S SMALL ASS LOFT!!!) without showing us the shenanigans they got up to together.
*Thank god we have fanfics. Kudos to all the fanfic writers for doing their work!
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This leather jacket needs to make a comeback.
Oliver Stark as Evan Buckley, 9-1-1 (episode 1x09)
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What tonight’s episode confirmed is that Eddie is in no way okay with sharing Buck’s attention with anyone other than Christopher
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57 + buddie? ❤
57. "Oh my god, it's so pretty."
Buck could not believe he was making out with Eddie. At his sister's wedding no less.
But Eddie had looked too good in this stupid suit and this tie, this stupid carefully chosen lavender tie that made Eddie's eyes even more beautiful. And Buck had survived standing across from Eddie looking past Maddie, Chimney, and Hen at the alter, completely lost in them. He had survived catching Eddie's eyes as he laughed at Buck's best man speech. But what he couldn't was watching as Eddie had spun Jee- Yun in her perfect flower girl dress, eyes twinkling under the fairy lights. Once the song was over and he had down a couple glasses of champagne in quick succession and then pulling Eddie into the closest private area he could find.
"Oh my god, it's so pretty." he sighed between kisses, "shame if something happened to it." he kept kissing him as his fingers fumbled with the perfectly tied half windsor.
"Buck," Eddie tried, attempting to stop him, "we are literally in the closet. Oh fuck." he breathed as Buck gently peppered his jaw with light kisses. And then he was kissing him again, tie loosened.
They were so entranced with each other, that they didn't hear the door open,
"Found them! Chimney you owe me $50! I told you I could get them to cave with choosing the right wedding colors." Maddie shouted, clearly holding back a giggle, "Buck pull yourself together, it's almost time for our dance." with that she turned on her heel and left them to collect themselves.
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Bobby: HYDRATE OR DIEDRATE
Bobby: [throws water bottles at the 118]
Hen, catching a bottle: Uh…
Athena: He’s trying to yell mental health and well-being into y'all. He learned it from May.
Bobby: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!
Buck, tearing up: It’s working.
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How could i miss the kiss prompt!!
18. Teasing kisses where one person blows air into the other’s mouth and runs away.
18. Teasing kisses where one person blows air into the other’s mouth and runs away.
Eddie fucking melted as Buck's strong fingers pressed into the hard line of his shoulders.
He never did like when people came up behind him but Buck had made a show of pressing down harder in his footsteps so that Eddie could hear him as he came into the kitchen. It was silly, silly and something he would've resented a few years earlier, but the simple consideration meant the world to him.
Thumbs swooped up into his neck and rubbed at a knot that Eddie didn't even realize had been there until Buck found it. He groaned, dropping his head so Buck had more room to work.
"Come to bed, babe," Buck said, more like whispered as if the quiet of his voice would be enough to lull Eddie away.
It almost was. The sweet kiss on his temple was enough to rock his head onto Buck's arm-- rock his world if he was being honest-- and Eddie would've given in.
But he still had to figured out the budgeting and scheduling for the next couple of months. There were camps he had scholarship deadlines to apply for and last minute appointments to squeeze before the school year ended. He had a new rotation of shifts to add to the calendar on top of Buck's now and Abuela needed to know his availability for what he was sure was supposed to be a surprise birthday party that Eddie had already insisted he didn't want. He'd go because it'd make Abuela happy but he'd complain the whole time and then secretly squirm beneath the attention until he could disappear into the backyard with a beer.
"I just need to finish this." Eddie promised as he sat up and groaned through the stretch in his back.
"You can finish it tomorrow." Arms snaked around Eddie's shoulders and Eddie wanted to fight. He wanted to insist he wouldn't be able to sleep until he got it figured out.
But one quick glance at the papers in front of him and all the words started swimming beneath the foggy glaze of exhaustion over his eyes. Soft, plump lips pressed another kiss into his temple before trailing down to the bolt of his jaw, the curve of his chin. Eddie bit down on his lip to keep the moan that wanted to fall out as Buck kissed his pulse point, sucking on it with those lips Eddie was down right addicted to, and rolling the skin with some teeth that nipped at a tiny mark.
Eddie arched his head back, lifting a hand free to tangle into Buck's hair, and melted back into the chair beneath the attention as Buck kissed along his collarbone. The scratch of stubble burned at his skin as Buck nosed his shirt out of the way to nibble at his shoulder before tiny, meaningful kisses hurried back up his throat and to his chin.
"Come to bed," Buck said, his voice deep as he kissed the side of Eddie's mouth. "We'll figure it out tomorrow."
Another kiss to his cheekbone as Buck tilted Eddie's head back.
"Need you," Buck fucking whimpered, stoking something hot in Eddie's chest at the sound.
Eddie felt something in his stir as he stared up at the pink in Buck's cheeks; at the swollen, spit-slick glisten of his lips. He tightened the fist in Buck's hair and yanked him down for a real kiss. One that would send him careening straight out of responsibility and sense with just one heated press.
Buck let him, dipping down to slant his mouth over Eddie's as he kissed him hard on the mouth and begging for more. Eddie licked the seam of Buck's lips, probing with his tongue for entrance, and--
The puff of air came hard and fast. His cheeks ached from the blow and Eddie's sinuses felt like they'd just been through a hurricane as an undignified squeak slipped out of him.
Buck's laugh was the only thing Eddie heard as he tried to figure out which way was up before he realized Buck had run away.
The kitchen chair squawked against the shove across the floor as Eddie jumped to his feet and raced after Buck to the bedroom.
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Thinking about….how Buck describes the 118 after Chimney leaves. How there’s this big thing nobody is talking about even though they all miss him and it feels awkward and he feels like it’s his fault, that he failed somehow and that if he had done something sooner he could have changed things and kept his 118 family happy.
Thinking about how that’s exactly how the Buckleys made him feel growing up. How he didn’t realize it until recently but that there was a big Daniel sized hole that everyone was skirting around and refusing to acknowledge, and how he was a constant reminder of the failure to keep Daniel alive.
Thinking about how part of Buck must be thinking about it, even subconsciously, that there’s another brother who he’s “failed” and his solution to that is to turn around and accept Ravi into the family and then say that he’s going to let him replace him. How part of Buck always feels like he’s the replacement and his job is to make everyone else happy and keep them together. Thinking about how much Buck loves his family, all of them, and how much that shines through.
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#paranoic eddie is back
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I can’t get over the contrast between Buck’s reaction in Eddie Begins and his reaction in Suspicion.
In Eddie Begins he lost it, that rig went down and Buck freaked out. All logic went out the window, his only thoughts were of Eddie, how to get to Eddie, because he didn’t know if Eddie was okay or not. In this situation there was something for him to do, he could dig, however fruitlessly his efforts may have been, to find Eddie, to find out if he was okay and bring him home. It was the not knowing that drove him to action.
In Suspicion he couldn’t move, couldn’t react, couldn’t breathe, because he watched Eddie get hurt. There was no question about whether or not Eddie was okay, he knew exactly what had happened to Eddie because he saw it. Buck watched Eddie get hit, he felt the blood on his face, he saw Eddie hit the ground. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. Buck stopped functioning as his mind attempted to process what had happened. He didn’t move a muscle even as people were panicking around him, even as he was thrown into the side of the truck and then pulled to the ground. All he could do was watch as his best friend, one of the most important people in his life, bled out in the street.
Both scenes were beautiful in their own way, but the quiet fear in Buck when Eddie was shot, the strange calm that existed between the two of them as everything went to chaos around them? Absolutely chilling.
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Buddie shippers after that episode
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It’s confirmed now that Chris automatically goes to Buck when his dad said no. Love that for him, and for us.
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Buck was an abused, neglected, sheltered kid.
And when he left Pensylvania, he was already an adult. When he has sex for the first time, gets a job, experiences life in a ranch, learns construction, mixology, surfing, and Spanish. He's an adult. And between these things, he's traveling with no time to wonder if his childhood was normal--he just assumes so. And the people he meets are all on a shallow level where childhood discussions are never had.
It's only at the 118 that he figures he doesn't know pop culture because of Chimney. And his lack of pop culture knowledge is the tip of the iceberg.
It's Eddie that gets the truth. Because it's Eddie who pieces together, through observation and Buck talking, how devoid of everything Buck's childhood was. It's sad to see a grown man excited over Legos and cotton candy because he didnt know they were a thing.
So, the Diazes are determined to get Buck experienced in all things he was robbed of. They take him to a fair, buy him churros and funnel cake and icees, etc. They take him to the theater, museum, teach him childhood games, get him dressed up for Halloween with a family theme to trick or treat.
As the holidays approach, Eddie only has to stop himself from crying every other day when Buck talks about how the Buckleys didn't do anything. No Christmas tree, cookie baking, movies, music, singing, dinners, gift giving. No hugs, or kisses, or holiday wishes. Nothing.
So, Buck's in awe of all the traditions the Diazes have. Even more so, when Eddie (Chris, Isabel, and Pepa) invite him to everything because he's family. Eddie's just sad that even as their relationship becomes more serious, Buck's still so insecure about his place, about being a burden, in the way, about interrupting family time.
Nevermind that Chris almost had a heart attack when he learned about Buck's childhood and horrible parents and will not tolerate Buck's absence. Chris barely tolerates that Buck still doesn't live with them yet and he's being extra patient with that one. He won't accept Buck being any other type of absent.
Buck's just overwhelmed by how much he's appreciated, cared for, and loved.
No need to claim a prompt. If written on AO3, please gift it to me. On tumblr, tag me. I have the same name on both websites.
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