#even after my aro revelation!

[rocketturtle4]

Only Friends, Shipping Culture, Cross-Generational Differences, Themes and Endgame

Strap in, folks. This is a long one.

What finally pushed me to make this post was a very interesting discourse between @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, and @twig-tea here around the way this show has subverted norms to a lesser extent than first hoped and how the fans themselves, and the creator’s interactions with these fans, have impacted the creation and completion of the show, as well as the way themes built through the series may now feel less clear after the latest episode.

I wanted to offer my understanding and perspective because it differs somewhat, but it is also very much informed by this post and the larger Tumblr discourse around Only Friends and shipping culture that this show has sparked. I will note, for the record, that I have been much busier since about episode 5 of OF than I had been for the first episodes (or than I was for BMF), so I have missed a lot more of the fascinating discourse that this show has sparked than I would wish.

Let’s do this.

Shipping Culture

I had never heard of this before joining Tumblr this year (in May) despite watching 50 BLs before that, due to being completely disengaged from the actors as individuals prior to joining Tumblr, and while Tumblr has opened my eyes to how much fanservice is part of these people’s lives and jobs and the problems surrounding that phenomenon. I remain largely disengaged from the actors personally. I do not have Twitter, Tik Tok or Instagram, I rarely watch BTS and even my revelation that First is the most beautiful man ever to exist (and I say that as a person who is both aro and ace) has only got me to watch one First & Khao Armshare interview (The Eclipse one). I have also never purchased merch or event tickets so I am in fact, not a good fan in terms of profit making or engagement.

I do, however, love the shows an awful lot and may engage with BTS more once I have fewer things to watch…

All this to say is that my firsthand knowledge of such things is limited at best, but I am still here to say:

I think Only Friends is doing excellent things here, even if all the ‘couples’ end up together.

Is it burning them to the ground like so many hoped? No, but I have watched 47 Thai BLs at this stage and not many of them explored relationships beyond the pairs in any way, shape or form, and OF HAS DONE THAT.

Of our main six characters, NONE of them have only kissed their “other half.” They’ve literally all at least made out with one other person from the core six, and thus far Mew, Boston and Nick have ALSO kissed other people.

This is, in my humble opinion, A PRETTY BIG DEAL.

I am currently watching Not Me (for the first time, haven’t finished, no spoilers please), and I have been informed somewhat reliably that the original novel included a Gram/Black plotline that was cut/altered (to Gram/Eugene/Black love triangle), and I posit that was due in part because they couldn’t have Gun even KISSING Mond even if he was also kissing Off. Black and White would have been a great way to shift things even a little by having the branded pair be together while ALSO having half the brand with someone else at the SAME TIME. Can you imagine??

And yet as recently as 2021 that didn’t happen.

Sometimes change takes time and patience and I think OF is doing really good work, even if it doesn’t go as far as we might wish.

EVEN IF all our branded pairs end up together unsubverted (which is not what I am hoping for but EVEN IF), this show will have still begun paving the way for more varied storylines and pairings in shows

The Clash of Generational Lenses

Speaking of the end game, lets talk about a little thing called hope.

I had a very interesting discourse back around, hmmm episode 6, with @shouldiusemyname and @plantsarepeopletoo , about the sheer confusion I felt about Tumblr’s idea that every one of these characters should end up apart simply because they’d done bad things or something? (this is extremely generalized. I was missing a lot of nuance from both Tumblr and my own lens hence the unpacking then and now).

Now I went into this show fully prepared for this to end sadly and I largely viewed this expectation of  sad as everyone ending up broken up and alone. I don’t normally watch sad by choice, but I was willing to try this one because Jojo’s stories are SO beautifully compelling that I knew it would be worth the journey. I have watched Love of Siam (not Jojo but sad) and Gay Okay Bangkok (complicated), two very different shows reflective of their times and their creators and from the beginning, Only Friends did not feel like those (although the links to Gay Okay Bangkok and the exploration of real queer relationships has been fascinating and I am very glad I watched that one before OF).

So why was there this, almost prescribed hopelessness, being projected onto these very young characters who were just in the process of finding themselves? Why were these young people’s flaws and choices so linked to the idea that they would end up alone?

Now @shouldiusemyname told me the following (in the context of a much wider discourse):

Ahhh I like this cos this is something I take very much for granted and I think it’s a generational gap thing. This is a reaction to the way we were brought up (again generalizing cos sometimes it’s necessary). There was no alternative to monogamy and being queer meant that you can’t have that for 2 reasons: 1.    Law doesn’t allow 2.    Socially unacceptable cos being gay was seen as what kind of sex you were having as opposed to relationships. If you don’t have the gay sex, you’re not gay. This is also the reason for being anti het norm. We couldn’t have that so we needed to find the alternative and have ALL of it.

We were both generalizing A LOT, but this idea was MIND BLOWING to me at the time.

(For the record I am born late 1990s, Shouldiusemyname is born early 1980s (and Plantsarepeopletoo is born late 80s so we have variety covered lol!))

Because while, (as @waitmyturtles for example has pointed out on multiple occasions) the imposition of purity culture and monogamy on queer culture (and in general) is wrong, the idea that no queer people are desiring commitment or monogamy is also wrong. (I am not here suggesting that even in an ideal world where queer people TRULY HAD equal rights they would magically all want monogamous long-term relationships because that’s just not true. In addition hets regularly oppose the het norm as well, long-term monogamous relationships are unwanted by many of them).

I come from a strong biological background (which unequivocally supports more than two sexes and more than two genders, do not come back here and make this about that, got it!) and am currently doing a PhD in Palaeontology so a lot of my relationship understanding is informed by a wider understanding of breeding, monogamy and nonmonogamy in reproduction across the animal and plant kingdoms just by exposure (and yes reproduction in the plant kingdom is very much included, some plants have both male and female parts, it’s fascinating!). And monogamy is present in a hugely wide range of species, it’s not soley something humans came up with just because of religious norms. Addtionally, there is the development of consistent monogamous and/or committed polygamous relationships (historically, most commonly men with multiple wives) across a huge number of cultures throughout history largely for the fostering of children. Most of this influence has been more irrelevant for the queer community because of their inability to produce children in monogamous pairs*, and children are a huge sticking point for the NEED for long-term stable relationships. So, without this sticking point (combined with the aforementioned factors around law and discrimination), relationships are viewed as less permanent. Thus, I had to unpack my own casual assumptions that relationships normally have a long-term goal. (*Generalizing hugely, obviously there are lots of variations that can produce biological children without assistance, but these points most strongly apply to same-sex relationships)

For example, I find the way this plays out in a show like What Did You Eat Yesterday particularly fascinating, and have realized since starting Season 2 that I had missed a lot of this subtext in the first season because, to me, the idea that the central couple would stay and grow old together was a given. PARTLY because of monogamous cultural lenses, but ALSO because they loved each other and wanted to be together, so why wouldn’t they assume they would stay and grow old together?

I also realized that I am further sheltered in this mindset by not just my age but by the acceptance of my wider family of non-marriage as a concept (or even just not having to have children) as normal and okay. My Grandfather (in his 80s) is one of 10 children and has multiple siblings (my great uncles/aunts) who 1 never married or 2 married but chose never to have children. While I am not going to pretend that my uncles/aunts were never judged for such things, that judgment was NEVER part of my upbringing and we visited my single and/or childless great-uncles just as often as those with children.

I seem to have gotten sidetracked…What is the wider point I am making here?

Ah yes

Only Friends is so interesting because it’s shot like it’s set in the 80s & 90s, before the turn of the millennia, with so much homage paid to the queer stories and reality that the youth of this time grew up with. But the generational change that the last two decades or so have brought is inarguably huge, and so these characters, all born after the turn of the century, are not truly from the world that, in some ways, it looks like they’ve been placed into. @wen-kexing-apologist did an extremely comprehensive post about gay cruising culture and Boston that was extremely relevant to his character and the story being told, but it also was a specific throwback to something that is different in the 2020s. Not because people like Boston don’t exist, but because the turn of the century brought with it so many things that make this exact thing more complicated.

And OF has been showing us why! Surveillance, SO MUCH surveillance, every character has been recorded or recorded other characters or shared recordings of other characters, sometimes all of the above, and this surveillance does have a deep impact on the relationships today’s young people engage in! Not just the queer community but all young people of today are under near constant scrutiny and surveillance, and the young people born in the last couple decades have grown up like this, queer or not.

One last thing to mention here is the specific, observable, phenomenon that has been going on in Thailand, it is clear when you look at media like Love of Siam (2008) and compare it to ITSAY (2020) (which I haven’t even seen yet gah but I still know this is a great example). The phenomenon of BL, for all its flaws, has wrought change in the psyche and culture of the people of Thailand, ESPECIALLY the young people, and this is absolutely informing our six main characters views on relationships because they would have gone through high school with this as a major part of their culture.

Themes and Endgame: I Think Hope is the Point

All this draws me back into how I think OF will end, because it’s been at the heart of the show throughout, and that is hopefully, Only Friends will end hopefully.

Jojo has (I believe) stated outright that his primary goal for this show was to represent his community in truth, the messy non-het non-monogamy of queer youths in their 20s has been playing out across our screens, but the thing that has been keeping my attention riveted on Only Friends is the heart of it all.

The journeys of growth and discovery on this show have been magnificent. @thegalwhorants has been pointing out the intentional parallels of language this show has been using to highlight some of that growth, and that is just one very interesting fraction of the way this show has used words, music (@plantsarepeopletoo), colours, styles and more to represent the transformation characters are going through as they grow into themselves before our eyes.

A few very brief examples:

Mew’s switch to wearing Ray’s wardrobe when he is trying not to care but cares so much about Top.

Ray’s changed wardrobe to match the style Sand picked out for him even as he tried to choose Mew and couldn’t, because he’s already moved on, even when he couldn’t accept it.

Nick’s whole makeover to catch Boston’s attention later even catching Dan’s attention and the way that in that scene with Boston outside in ep10, Nick had returned to his shorts and t-shirt because he finally felt seen the way he sees Boston.

One’s sense of self is often built in part, around their relationships (family, friends, sexual and romantic), ESPECIALLY in collectivist cultures, and so much of our 20s involves growing and learning who you are through these relationships. I have seen arguing about toxic friendship groups and how they all need to just let each other go, and maybe that is the best endgame, I don’t know. Sometimes, growing together can be so much stronger, and sometimes, growing apart is the only way to move forward.

But these last two eps in particular (but honestly every moment of this show) have left me with the feeling that hope is the point. Because things HAVE changed, the world is moving and the things possible in 2023 are often utterly unthinkable to the youth of the 1980s, 1990s and before. The world is growing, acceptance and love have always been there but, surveillance or no, it’s so much easier to find now.

To be queer is no longer to be isolated, not in the way it once was, it is not a sentence of aloneness. Nor a stamp of irrevocable pain. Are things good now? HECK NO, you look at any statistic: homelessness, mental health, suicide rate, poverty; Being queer makes your life harder.

No matter how hard you try things might get worse and while that’s true for all people, queerness compounds that and often makes the consequences of your choices harder through isolation.

But the isolation is less now and I think OF wants to show that

You may do many things and sometimes these things will hurt no matter how careful you are, Not caring isn’t the point, Not feeling isn’t the point, God every character on this show feels so MUCH

This episode had moments of complete heartbreak

Complete regret

And complete Joy

And there is much more still to come

So when I think about endgame, I think about hope, and the lessening of isolation for all, and this does not mean 3 perfectly happy couples in perfect monogamous relationships wrapped up with a neat little bow, It means six individuals who have learned and grown through friendship and love, this may mean healed relationships, it may not, this may mean healed friendships, it may not. (It may mean Top, Mew and Boeing in a throuple but maybe I’m the only one hoping for that lol). We’ve clearly got more drama and pain to come but I am confident now that things will end with hope.

I do not know how Jojo and co will show that, but I trust them, and I can’t wait to find out.

#ofts #only friends the series #only friends #onlyft #rturts is wondering #only friends meta #ofts meta #roc goes haywire over only friends

[redysetdare]

I always find it interesting that homosexual coded main characters don't really get shipped with every single side character of the opposite gender. And people get told off for shipping lesbian coded characters with men or gay coded characters with women by the rest of the fandom. But it's always aroace coded main characters getting shipped with every single side character that exists. And aroace fans getting told to "not generalise the entire aspec community" and "let people ship whomever they want!! It's just fiction!!!" as if we don't deserve to see characters living happy lives not being in relationships. And my biggest pet peeve is the trope of an aroace coded character "growing up and maturing" by... getting in a romantic/sexual relationship. Really shows what these people think about non-partnering aspec people irl. It's not just about fictional characters but they'll never admit it 🤷

I will say that there are some idiots out there who do ship gay characters with the opposite sex because they believe in people being able to ship whatever they want (which can lead to some disturbing places but I digress) But those kinds of ships do get a lot more push back and the same people who get after people for changing characters from gay to straight do not have the same energy when it happens to aro /aroace characters.

These same people are the ones calling for representation and how we treat characters identities in fiction does reflect how we view those identities in the real world EXCEPT when it comes to aspec characters. Suddenly then it's "fiction doesn't effect reality!!!" there's some double standards happening and it's beyond frustrating that no one seems to even notice and get mad at us for pointing it out.

Not to mention it's incredibly funny to hear them cry "Don't generalize the community" while they generalize the community by acting like every aro/ace/aroace person can date and have sex - which like you said ignored the existence of non-partnering identities and I'd like to add it also erases repulsed identities.

None of these people actually care about the aspecs who date or have sex. they don't actually care how those identities work or those experiences at all. they're using them as a get out of jail free card. a loop hole. a "I can't be homophobic because I have a gay best friend" card. They don't care about QPRs and how those relationships can be experience in wildly different ways. All they care about is if they get to have two characters kiss without having to genuinely look at themselves and their biases and possibly have the revelation that they might hold bigoted beliefs about aspec people.

And at this point I'd rather them admit that they don't actually care about aspec identities or experiences instead of tying themselves into knots to try and prove "I'm not aphobic!!!!" because they actively tried to find a loop hole to make it so that they could feel superior and in the right for being able to erase an entire identity of people.

#asks #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #like it becomes incredibly obvious when the same people who claim not liking female characters #can reflect real like misogynistic views on women are the same people #who are saying that “it's just fiction it doesn't hurt anyone” when it comes to shipping aroace/aro characters #like okay so do how people treat fictional characters reflective of beliefs they have in the real world or not #What makes the treatment of one identity in fiction reflective of reality and the treatment of another identity 'just fiction'. quickly. #at what point is it 'just fiction that doesn't hurt anyone' and at what point is it 'fiction hurts real people'. quickly #and I've already made a post about how people can only interact with media through shipping and how that's caused a decrease #in media literacy and critical thinking in general because people are viewing media through an incredibly narrow view #and warping or ignoring the main message of the media in favor of a romantic narrative that doesn't exist #and i could say more about how that makes people ignore aspec coding and subtext of characters and stories #but these tags are long as is and so is this post #in the end it's all just amatonormative allonormative aphobic bullshittery #and i'm incredibly tired of it #long post #long post with equally long tags #i have a lot of subthoughts that i dont wanna try and fit in the main post #might make more posts about these thoughts. probably will. no one can shut me up.

[denaphoenix]

Hazbin Hotel - the first two episodes, but only how it made me feel about the characters without spoiling any plot.

Angel - I’m still in love with Angel. He’s a living, breathing closed door, layers upon layers of not himself while also seemingly having no filter - and the subtlety of letting little tiny glimpses of what’s underneath show is awesome. 

Vaggie - Vaggie is amazing. She’s got so much heart and cynicism, and it’s more well-balanced than I’ve ever seen it in fanfiction. Especially digging her vibes with Angel because she’s not really antagonising him, and I’ve got a feeling that underneath it all, she’s digging him just because he says the things she’s sometimes thinking, and then she doesn’t have to say it, and can instead tease Angel for having said it, because all in all she knows that whatever’s being said will fall on deaf ears anyways. (all of that mostly being conveyed in vibes) Also, who wouldn’t revel in annoying Angel Dust? He’s annoying after all!

Charlie - Still Charlie. I don’t think she’s entirely getting it. Any of the it. Another super layered performance that gives off major toxic positivity mixed in with the non-toxic normal positivity. I feel like she might be getting there, but not before something blows up in her face worse than it’s already blowing up in her face. I just really want to take her aside and slap her - in a good way. She’s just darling.

Alastor - literally screaming. He’s delicious. He’s just - a presence. Personified chaos, and just barely scraping that uncanny every second he’s there. Love how he just ignores everything he’s not interested in addressing, and seems to genuinely be standing above everything. Unphased, and easily agreeing when presented with arguments, while also never seeming like he’s losing in any exchange. Nothing’s personal for him, I feel like, and I dig that. He’s always either “ok fair”, “ok, fair, but” or “sorry to disappoint” - those are the three modes and I just want to be half as classy as him. Or at least half as unhinged.

Husk - he’s… there. The first two episodes gave me just enough of him to kinda get me settled with the new voice, and other than that, all he’s offering are Husk vibes - which are no-nonsense, and uninterested to the max. He’s doing things, sure, but it always has the vibe of him only doing them because walking away would have just been too much effort. Can’t wait for his no-nonsense to actually contribute to things.

Nifty - I am obsessed with Niffty. Loved her before, and now that we’re getting more actual character development, boy am I here for it. She’s got a character, and the character is single-minded, trope-based, obsession. And I’m here for it. 

Sir Pentious - amazing voice acting, and Pent just continues to be so FUN. I’m pretty sure he’s got about one brain cell, and the results of that give me life. 

Adam - ok, I feel like I need to be spoiling this, because he himself said it best. He’s quite literally “the original dick”, and I don’t mean it in the way he seems to see it. There, I said it. He’s making my skin crawl, and while I’m still on the fence with how he’s being voiced, the longer I think about it, the more I think that that was actually a smart move to balance out the ick with some ridiculousness so they can have him make his statements before everyone with a vagina switches off. So yeah, barely bearable, and I don’t know if I want him to be even that bearable, because he could otherwise be powerfully unbearable.

Lute - highly dislikeable girl, and in the best way possible. Heartless and uncaring, and deep in the rationalisation tunnel. I wanna hug her just to get the experience of getting pushed away.

Velvette - will take some serious getting used to, that one. Don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this. I think what might have put me off was her voice being more… idk… cockney than expected? Or… deep? Or… assertive? Or…sane? Uhm, I don’t know what it is, really, if I’m being honest. Pretty sure I will get around to digging her eventually though. Because the potential is SO there. So yeah, kind of looking forward to getting that to click.

Valentino - currently unlocking a new tier of hating Valentino - the “I do not understand his vibes” tier, which is very much interlinked with the realisation that I do not see whatever the casting team must have seen in Valentino’s voice actor. Whatever they were going for, I don’t think they got there. I don’t even like to hate him… he’s just - taking me out of the story with his line delivery and fucking with my mind in a non-good way.

Vox - Vox is the complete opposite to Val in terms of my feelings - I love, love LOVE Vox. He’s absolutely awesome, and I just want MORE of him. The voice acting’s got so much depth. He’s bringing the sleazy, and the despicable, but also the deeply HUMAN underneath it all - which just makes his scenes with Val all the more jarring. 

Katie Killjoy - yeah, she’s just Bryce Tankthrust in hell. A tad underwhelming, but the meta’s funny, so I’ll certainly be able to deal.

All in all, it was a solid two episodes, and the music was banging, so I'm still aboard the hype train.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #first two episodes #has it already been 7 years?

[aromantic-diaries]

I’m not entirely sure I’m aroace but I’m pretty sure and I think it just clicked for me. felt like I should share because no way in hell would I ever have realized this was probably aromantic behavior if I hadn’t had the community support and resources that I do.

over the past year I’ve had three short-lived relationships (including my first kiss and first ily) that started out great- super interested, knew em well, I made the first move.

dumped the first guy in two weeks, the second after two months, and the third after three weeks just about a half hour ago.

I just got this incredibly gross icky feeling once we were officially ‘together’ and they started returning interest in me. I want affection but only when I can initiate it, I couldn’t stand super sweet compliments and them being the sweetest cutest guys who clearly cared a lot about me. I love you or you’re perfect we’re disgusting to hear even though I know they’re supposed to be sweet. I felt like such a dick when my feelings essentially disappeared overnight and I got so viscerally uncomfortable with them. I could go days with texting them or being invested in them and their attention never wavered which I always found weird- does it not fluctuate or take a nose dive for everyone else too?

I’ve spent months at this point wondering if maybe it’s cus they’re all guys and I only like girls or other genders that I’ve never been with (possibility) or I’ve just happened to end up with the wrong people (unlikely as I knew two of them so well to the point we basically agreed we had the same thought patterns it was wild).

and after the last two breakups I haven’t felt sad because I missed the guy I’ve felt bad and sick and guilty because I know they cared about me a lot and I clearly hurt them when I wasn’t able to reciprocate. And now that I’ve thought about it more I think my ideal relationship is very queer platonic.

I want a partner I can give a title to but have it be very casual, almost like they don’t return interest in the normal sense. We can hang out and be affectionate but don’t feel the need to talk or hangout every day but they’d be your default for events or free time if you were up for it. I have something similar with a friend of mine and I’ve always loved it, nicknames and kisses while both of us were dating people romantically at the same time and the weird in between just worked neither of our partners were threatened by it and it felt great.

anyways, on the more hopeful side, now that I’ve figured these thing out for myself there’s a girl I really like that I think I’m going to ask to go to a local dance with and see if she’d be interested in my weird casual potential polyamorous relaxed aroace girlfriend idea. wish me luck and hopefully maybe some other aro sees this and goes hey they just like me fr cus Jesus this was a big revelation for me.

Good on ya for figuring things out and I wish you the best of luck in your ventures for an ideal partner! This in an interesting perspective and I always enjoy reading about other aspec people's experiences so thank you for sharing

#anon #mail time

[number1villainstan]

Overhaul for the character ask!

How I feel about this character:

Blorbo of all time. He is sooooo me. On a more serious note, there was so much possible characterization that BnHA dropped into him--so much juicy potential--and it was all wasted. Pair that up with him being an antagonist who did horrible things and it was like a perfect storm to get me way too invested in him lmao. Also, I recently had a pretty unwelcome revelation about myself about how I usually find the major antagonists/villains of a show that unwittingly self-sabotage through social incompetence/bluntness/lack of empathy relatable which does not bode well for my social life hahaha but that's oversharing so I'm just gonna--

All the people I ship "romantically" with this character:

Disclaimer: I actually usually headcanon him as aro, so often the "romantic" shipping I have for him isn't actually romantic but sexual and/or queerplatonic, because I'm taking this as a question for 'who do I ship him with in a way that isn't just conventional friendship or in a familial/family-esque relationship'.

Kurono Hari: My main partner for the guy, and any OT3s I form for Kai are pretty much always going to have Hari as the second member, with the third varying. I have seen and do enjoy outright romantic Chronohaul, but when I write it I'll usually make an effort to make it either explicitly queerplatonic or Definitely A Relationship but not really a romantic relationship, ykno? Usually I like to think that they've been together for a while even before the show starts, in a solid years-long committed relationship that probably started (if not in its current form) when they were teenagers. I really like the idea of two similar people having found each other and finding strength and understanding in each other even as they're so different from everyone else around them, even if they end up reinforcing each other's destructive tendencies. Also, it's T4T. That part's very important.

Dabi: Funny story, I ended up watching BnHA because some of my online friends were huge DabiHaul shippers, so that was the ship I was primed for. And then I got attached to Chisaki and every other named character in the Hassaikai and ended up primarily shipping Chronohaul, and Dabi ended up usually being their third and shipped with both. I imagine that this ship (Chronodabihaul) is purely a sexual one, a fuckbuddy type thing for stress relief. It may or may not develop some stronger commitments/feelings later on, if and when the League and the Hassaikai stop virulently hating each other (and if/when Dabi stops being so obsessed with revenge), but that's not really a given.

Aizawa Shouta: This is definitely not a ship that's on the forefront of my mind, but it still has a soft spot in my void of a heart. Just like Dabi, I can very much see him in an OT3 with Chronohaul, although I feel like Aizawa would be in a much more long-term relationship with them. I can also see he and just Kai having an emotional short-term fling, but that would either cool down into just-friends or Hari would end up with them after a while, making it the OT3. Also, I have an angsty soulmate AU oneshot WIP that focuses on Overzawa, so.

Nemoto Shin: I don't actually really ship this character with Chisaki (I hc Chisaki as romance repulsed aroallo and Nemoto as sex-repulsed alloace), but I have an priest/demon AU in my WIPs that's got some heavy Nemotohaul implications, so I think I'd be remiss not to mention him here.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I have several, actually:

Lady Nagant, aka Tsutsumi Kaina, of course. I know a lot of people on Tumblr like to ship Sniperhaul, but it just doesn't interest me. Seems kind of shallow, honestly (apologies to any Sniperhaul shippers reading this). I see them better as bickering sibling types after Chisaki heals at least a little bit from solitary confinement. And also as mlm/wlw solidarity.

I really like the idea of Chisaki taking Yaoyorozu Momo under his wing, teaching her chemical formulas for poisons and tips and tricks for combating performance anxiety. (I also really like the idea that they're genetically related...and don't find out until well after they've established their mentor/mentee relationship lmao.)

Nemoto Shin again, since I usually like him and Chisaki as close friends. Chisaki goes to him for questions like "what the fuck am I feeling and how do I make it stop" or "how the hell do emotions work".

Also, weirdly enough, when I'm imagining the sort of AU where he gets thrown in some labyrinth and has to figure out how to survive/get out with a bunch of other characters it's unlikely he'd interact with otherwise, I think Midnight might actually like him. She'd think he's cute. He wouldn't like Midnight back though.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Do you mean unpopular for the wider fandom, or just among people that like this specific character? Because if it's the first, then all of my opinions for this character are unpopular, but if it's the second, then I'm not sure I have unpopular opinions/headcanons on him so much as opinions/headcanons that aren't widely held and/or thought about. I'm gonna list some that might be considered 'unpopular' among Chisaki/Hassaikai fans, although I'm not actually sure they are:

Pops wasn't a good parent. I imagine him something like the (fanon) Fenton parents from Danny Phantom; affectionate and kind, but only when he a) remembers to pay attention and b) Kai isn't in trouble. Unfortunately, these times are few and far between. Kai ends up as the 'weird kid' a lot during his childhood/teenage years and becomes the automatic scapegoat, and Pops doesn't even question any accusations brought against his kid, which doesn't help the fact that Kai has been conditioned not to speak up for his own innocence by teachers and other authority figures punishing him for 'talking back.' So it ends up with most of Kai's memories being of Pops punishing him for things he never did, being part of The System that hurt him so bad, and with Pops having this concept of Kai as a Bad Kid(TM) that's mostly unearned, and it escalates to the point where Chisaki feels safer with Pops in a coma than with Pops talking and walking around even as he craves Pops' affection.

Objectively speaking, at least from a utilitarian/obligation perspective, Chisaki is morally better than Enji. I'm so sorry for this proxissima, but Kai only hurt one kid that wasn't his actual kid--it was a child that someone else gave to him with vague instructions to 'figure out her Quirk' and he didn't feel like he could refuse, whereas Enji had four children for the purpose of surpassing All Might and traumatized them all with his lack of care for their wellbeing, albeit in different ways. Obviously, Kai had an obligation to not be shitty to a kid, but Enji had extra obligations because those were his actual kids that he had on purpose. Also, Kai grew up in the probably highly toxic and violent yakuza, whereas Enji went into law enforcement and therefore should have more regard for the fact that, at least, child abuse is fucking illegal.

Chisaki legitimately cares about the Expendables/Bullets/Precepts of Death, and considers himself an Expendable. I'm not sure entirely how to explain this one, but I greatly prefer the idea that Chisaki took in many of the Expendables (minus Rappa, who followed him home) because he understood the kind of shit they were going through over what was implied in canon (that he manipulated them into being super loyal to him so that he could throw them away).

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

MORE CHARACTERIZATION! ANY CHARACTERIZATION! Especially characterization that showed actual positive traits! Yes, the remorse he showed for putting Pops in a coma after the prison break was arguably a step in the right direction, but it was also tied up in some really weird ableist/sanist connotations about how "this was his punishment" or something, and Deku (obligatory fucking Deku) still demanded that he feel more remorse about what he did to Eri even though he wasn't mentally all there, and also demanding that people feel certain emotions in general is entitled and shitty. Even though the narration of BnHA clearly makes out Deku to be the ultimate moral authority in the story.

Like--it's just so fucking obvious that Chisaki was made just to be a generic evil villain for Deku to beat up without the audience questioning why he's so blatantly betraying his professed ideal of "save everyone" and for Shigaraki to play off against to make him look better. And it wasn't even done well. This man is clearly mentally ill from like the first time we see him, and solitary confinement only exacerbated it. One thing I would have loved to see in canon, instead of All Of That, was if Deku guessed that Eri was being abused and ended up blatantly wrong, taking away a child from a loving home after she's already had trauma from accidentally Rewinding her father out of existence and her mother treating her as a monster and abandoning her. Hell, you could still have the Quirk-erasing bullets in play--just have Chisaki take and start cloning a red bone marrow sample from Eri so that he has enough blood without harming her more than a single surgery.

Yea, that was definitely way longer than you probably wanted, and it took longer than I wanted, but I have a Lot of thoughts on this guy. I'll answer the other two requests at a later date, because I need to study for and take at least one final today.

Send me a character and I'll break them down

#chisaki kai #kai chisaki #bnha overhaul #mha overhaul #bnha #mha #bnha meta #overhaul meta #mha chisaki #bnha chisaki #bnha chisaki kai #tagging for exposure #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #chronohaul #dabihaul #chronodabihaul #overzawa #overchronozawa #???? man idek #long post #shie hassaikai #nemotohaul #nemoto shin #kurono hari #aizawa shouta #bnha eraserhead #bnha dabi #todoroki touya #bnha pops

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Came out as aroace to my mum sartuday. Weirdest conversation of my life. Her first reaction was of course "so I won't have grandchildren" but that's not the fun part.

So after an akward conversation about kids (I do want to adopt childrem but I think it would be equaly great if I didn't want childrem - a trait that has nothing to do with being aroace and a lot to do with your opinion on having kids - and it should be no one's bussiness except the people who having or not having kids). And the very cool revelation my mom does have an aro friend. We got this:

"You are hermafrodite then?"

"No? Hermafrodite is an outdated and offensive way to say interesex, mom." I said fully beliving my mother knew what intersex meant.

"Oh, sorry, so you are intersex!"

"No?? Intersex people are people who are born with primary and/or secundary charactheristics of both sexes."

"Just like you." Me remembering I did try to come out as non-binary to my mother and she ignored it.

"No..." Too tired and confused to explain that sex and gender are different things " I mean physical charactheristics, like having both genitals for example."

"Oh okay, so you are ... what's the word... an a- angel."

"An angel?"

"Yes, don't people say angels have no sex."

"Mom, I don't think that's the type of sex they are refering to?" Again I came out as aroace not non-binary and even if so I'm not agender. If something I have too much gender.

"But they also don't. You are an angel. That's how I see it."

"Okay?"

And that was the very weird conversation we had.

#aroace struggles #aroace #coming out story #every time i try to come out to my mom it gets weirder #the nb conversation was a bit more sad. so I'm not gonna mention #but i think she is trying to get if sorta off #tw: aphobia #idk if I would tag that #but between the angel thing and the kids better be safe #i can see how it would be triggering to someone #tw: interphonia #my mom had no idea what intersex people were and therefore she was quite offensive at points #and my explanations were made to her understanding level #so it can be triggering #and i'm sorry for that #i think she is trying to accept me but still has the mentality she has to understand and feel herself in it to accept #but is better than the other times i hinted at this things so she is trying #and it isn't the best but it is something #and she clearly loves me

[newpathwrites]

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 4 - The Truth

“No, it’s alright, I’ll tell you,” you said, as you reached up to squeeze the hand still resting across your shoulder. “But then you have to tell me why I’ve never seen you pursue anyone… or even visit a brothel… in the five years we’ve known each other.” You winked, to make sure he knew you were joking.

He did look a bit taken aback by your only half-serious demand but acquiesced with a soft chuckle. “Okay, deal. But there’s really very little to tell - I’m not sure it’s a fair trade of information.”

Summary: Din confesses, and your truth is brought to light.

Note: This is one of my favorite chapters. Din and Cyar’ika will come to understand each others’ ace and aro identities, even if their universe doesn’t have a name for these things, as well as come to terms with their burgeoning sensual attraction.

I took some significant liberties with Mandalorian customs in this chapter.

Warnings: Sexual references, discussion of past sexual abuse/trauma, sensual kissing (not sure if a warning is warranted but just in case), and mild angst.

Read on AO3

————————————————————————

“So, how’s marriage treating you?” Fennec asked, as she helped you unload the tents and cooking supplies from the speeders.  The four of you had embarked on a small mission of sorts to Freetown to assist Cobb Vanth with a small gang of spice dealers that had been causing some problems.  Unfortunately, your trek across the Dune Sea had been interrupted by an incoming sandstorm, and you were all forced to make camp for the night, hoping to finish the journey safely tomorrow after the storm had passed.

  “Quite well,” you mused, with a contented smile on your face.

  Fennec raised an eyebrow.  “Is that so?  Have the terms of your relationship changed then?  Must have been a really fantastic wedding night, huh?” she quipped as she nudged you with her shoulder.

  Your face burned.  “No, no, it’s not like that at all.  We’ve never… there is no consummation for Mandalorians…” you stumbled over your words.

  “No consummation?  Djarin said that?  That’s not what I heard,” Boba interjected, apparently eavesdropping on your conversation.

  You were shocked into silence by his revelation, and Fennec had the good grace to stop her line of questioning at your awkward reaction.

  You filed the information away to discuss later and tried not to dwell on it.  You were in fact quite happy in your ‘marriage of convenience’.  While you had both asserted that nothing would change, the truth was that things had changed, and you weren’t unhappy about it.

  Ever since that night, when you had held Din in his sorrow and kissed him like that for the first time, physical displays of affection had become both more frequent and more natural.  Most surprising, Din had taken to rolling over to face you as you laid down each night, your nighttime conversations now happening face-to-face with arms and legs tangled together, instead of back-to-back facing opposite walls as you’d done for so many years.  Some nights you even slept wrapped up together.  He had yet to broach the topic of kissing again, and that was fine, his newfound fondness for cuddling satisfying your growing desire for physical closeness with him.  You sure did yearn to kiss him again, though.

  —---------------------------

  You both settled down for the night in your shared tent, huddled together by the small fire for warmth, Din’s arm slung over your shoulder under the thick blanket.  The storm had picked up in the last hour, and you were all hunkered down in your respective tents for shelter until it passed, hopefully by morning light.

  Boba’s assertion regarding Mandalorian marriage custom had not slipped your mind, and without much else to occupy yourself with until the storm passed, you figured it was as good a time as any to address it.

  “I need to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me,” you jabbed his ribs gently with your elbow to get his attention.  He tightened his hold on your shoulder in response to your tone and turned his head to look at you directly.

  You steeled yourself, a bit wary of disrupting your typically conflict-free relationship.  “Why did you tell me that Mandalorian marriage doesn’t require consummation?  According to Boba, that’s not true.” You paused and lowered your gaze to the ground in front of you.  “You were so insistent on keeping to tradition, but you intentionally left out that part.  Why?”  

  “Cyar’ika, I promise, it’s not what you think…” he started.

  You cut him off, anger and sadness now ringing clear in your voice, “Explain it to me, then.  You never lie to me, and I just can’t understand why you didn’t tell me the truth that day.”  

  “Okay,” he began nervously, realizing this was the first time you’ve been truly angry with him. “When you asked me about consummation, you looked absolutely terrified.  I didn’t want to ask, but I figured maybe there was some trauma there.  The consummation isn’t what you think, and taking off the helmet is the most important part, so I didn’t want to take the risk that the rest of it might be traumatic for you.  In retrospect, I realize that we could have had a discussion about it and let you decide.”

  “I still don’t understand,” you interjected.  “Is consummation for Mandalorians not… sex?”

  “No, it’s not, in theory at least.”

  “So what is it then?” you asked, somewhat appeased but now curious.

  “I guess it’s what comes before that - the removal of the armor.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was afraid it might trigger something for you with how scared you looked when you asked about it.”

  You were pensive, “But you take off the armor all the time…”

  “Well, it’s more about the intention.  And it wouldn’t be me taking off my own armor - it would be you taking it off for me…” he trailed off, meeting your gaze again and hoping to see forgiveness there.  He’d had the best intentions when he omitted that detail, but he didn’t blame you for being upset about it.  “Are we okay?” he asked, pleading.

  You collected yourself and replied, “Yeah, we’re okay.  But I can handle myself - don’t keep things from me.”

  “I won’t, I promise,” he replied, lowering his forehead to rest briefly on yours, relieved that this didn’t put a rift between you.  “Can I ask you why you were so terrified that day?  You know I would never hurt you… or expect something like that from you, marriage ritual or not… right?”  You hesitated to respond, and he shook his head guiltily.  “I’m sorry, that’s your business, I shouldn’t have asked…”

  “No, it’s alright, I’ll tell you,” you said, as you reached up to squeeze the hand still resting across your shoulder.  “But then you have to tell me why I’ve never seen you pursue anyone… or even visit a brothel… in the five years we’ve known each other.”  You winked, to make sure he knew you were joking.

  He did look a bit taken aback by your only half-serious demand but acquiesced with a soft chuckle.  “Okay, deal.  But there’s really very little to tell - I’m not sure it’s a fair trade of information.”

  You let out a long puff of air and began.  “Well, I’ve really never been one for relationships, never really liked the idea of getting married and having children.  But it was the norm in my village, and my family made it clear that becoming a mother and housewife would be expected.  So I tried to play the part, found a man I could tolerate…” Din chuckled at that.  “...but being in a romantic relationship never felt right to me.  It felt suffocating and unnatural, and acting like I was ‘in love’ was exhausting.  And then the sex issue came up - because that’s what most people in romantic relationships do, I guess.”  You paused, collecting your thoughts.  “I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t particularly enjoy it, either, and I never really felt compelled to initiate it with him or anyone else.  Anyway, my lack of interest ended up being a big problem, and he started trying to make me feel guilty about it, and eventually that turned into blatant coercion.  By that point, I was traumatized and totally repulsed by the whole thing.  I broke it off with him, left my village, and happily lived the lone bounty hunter life for the next twenty years, until I met you…,” you smiled at him as you spoke the last few words.  “I guess the idea of broaching the sex topic again with anyone, even the person I trust most in the galaxy, was a little terrifying.”

  “I’m sorry, cyar’ika.  I wish you hadn’t gone through that.”  He thought for a moment.  “So you’ve never felt attracted to anyone that way?” he asked.  You nodded in the affirmative.  “Huh, we have that in common, then.”

  You tilted your head as if assessing him, “I suppose I’m not surprised.  It makes sense.  How did you come to realize it?”

  “I was a lot like you - I wasn’t really all that interested in having a relationship.  My Mandalorian brothers were eager to find romantic partners, have children, serve the tribe by expanding their clans.  That didn’t feel right to me at all.  It’s one of the reasons I became our beroya.  I could serve the tribe without all that… romantic nonsense…” You giggled at his summation but didn’t disagree.  “Sex was a weird thing for me, too.  It’s all anyone wanted.  It was supposed to be this amazing thing that made you forget all of your troubles.  After Mandalore fell, I had a series of unfortunate flings in an attempt to forget… and it only made me feel worse - it wasn’t really enjoyable at all, just awkward and uncomfortable.  Eventually I realized that I didn’t actually want, like, or need that kind of intimate relationship and resigned myself to a life alone on my ship... until the kid… and then you.”

  “You know, Din, sometimes I really do think we were meant to find each other.  I never imagined there was a man out there who would enjoy my company for so long without any promise of a romantic relationship… or expecting my clothes to come off.”

  He laughed, joking, “Well, you know me - the more clothes the better.”

   “Do you ever feel sad about missing out on something other people enjoy so much?” you asked, clearly reflecting your own feelings.

  “More curious than sad.  I’ll never know if it could be better - if it wasn’t so impersonal, if I could take off the armor… and if I wasn’t worried they’d kill me and steal my beskar while I was in a vulnerable position… You feel differently?” he asked, having recognized that your question reflected your own reality.

  “As much as I am averse to the idea of trying it again, it does make me sad.  It’s a very human experience that I will never enjoy as others do.”  You appeared deep in thought, as you added, “I used to wonder if it could be better… with someone I trusted and some clear boundaries.  It sounds weird to say this out loud, but they would have to just understand and accept that I’m not going to get the same level of ‘enjoyment’ that other people do.  And I would have to lower my own expectations, too - just enjoy the nice sensations, which I don’t deny, and not expect some euphoric experience.  I know - it’s a really strange and specific fantasy…” 

  “It’s not strange,” he interjected, “I’ve occasionally felt the same.”

  You looked at each other then, and you felt the silent question passing between you.  No, you were not in a place to go there… not yet, at least, and quite possibly not ever. But you felt the weight of something else, too - something you’d been wanting to address ever since that night.  It probably wasn’t the right time, but you’d both already opened the floodgates of vulnerability - why not jump right in?

  It took you a few moments to gather your courage, but you finally spoke.  “Din, there’s something I need to tell you.  If it bothers you, just tell me to kriff off, and we’ll pretend I never said anything…”

  Concern marred his features, as he said seriously, “I’m listening, go ahead.”  He gave your shoulder a squeeze to encourage you to continue.

  “Things feel different between us lately - or at least they feel different to me.  It started after we took the marriage vows, but especially since… that night I kissed you… you know, that way.”

  You could see the fear and trepidation in his eyes, as he questioned, “Good different or bad different?”

  “Good different, I think, assuming you feel the same.”

  “It feels different to me, too… in a good way,” he said finally, fear turning to relief.

  You took a deep breath, preparing to get to the point.  “I find I enjoy being physically close to you, crave it even.  And it’s not just because you’re here - I can’t imagine wanting to be this close to anyone else, definitely not to kiss them in that way.  I’m not exactly sure what kind of attraction this is, but I’m feeling it strongly for you these days.”  You exhaled, releasing the butterflies that had gathered in your stomach, and glanced up at him, slightly wincing.  “Have I made you uncomfortable?”

  “No,” he asserted, his gaze now locked on yours.  “I feel the same, and I don’t really know how to handle it.  I’ve never felt this with anyone else, either.”  You smiled, relieved to know this wasn’t one-sided, and he found himself doing the same.  Finally, he got the words out that he’d been holding back for weeks. “Can I kiss you?”

  “Of course,” you responded, surprised by his initiative, but you had put the onus on him to decide when and if to try it again.  “I’d like that.”

  His lips were on yours instantly, and this time he lingered, moving his mouth against yours without hesitation. Stars, this was really good, but it could be even better - if he was ready for that. You proceeded slowly and cautiously, prepared to dial it back if you sensed any hesitation from him.  You registered his shocked reaction as your tongue just barely brushed up against his lips, but he responded without missing a beat.  It remained slow and gentle, never becoming heated, as mouths and tongues moved against each other, hands roaming along each other’s backs and shoulders in light caresses, never straying from respectable places.

  It was sensory overload, and it was wonderful.  You lost track of the time, not wanting this to end, losing yourself in his closeness, forgetting about the storm raging on outside your tent.

  But eventually you pulled away from each other, the late hour and exhaustion seeping into your consciousness bringing the experience to its natural conclusion.

  “Kriff, cyar’ika,” he sighed blissfully as he settled you both on the ground and gathered the blankets, keeping his body tangled with yours.  “That might be the best thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.”

  You giggled tiredly.  “Same, Din…”, words dying on your lips as you fell contentedly to sleep beside him.

------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 5

#the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #queerplatonic relationship #din djarin x ofc #din djarin x original female character #newpathwrites #a marriage of convenience

[hailmaryfullofgrace55675]

I’m sorry, but someone reacting that way to their partner coming out to them is always an asshole. If your reaction is “you’ve been leading me on all this time and should feel horrible for discovering your orientation” then you’re an asshole, plain and simple.

anon is in re: my replies on this aita post.

“He didn't take it well, obviously. But he made it clear that he wasn't mad because I was aro, but because he felt I lead him on the entire time.”

“he made it clear that he wasn’t mad because I was aro”

What do you think “that way” was? And what do you think it was in response to? Nowhere does original anon say that his ex made any negative comments about his romantic orientation or self-discovery, and in fact he notes that his ex specifically told him that was not what he was responding negatively to. What’s the minimum positive, affirming response you think people are obligated to give to ‘I’m breaking up with you because I’ve realized I never actually wanted to date you. For orientation reasons.’?

One is entitled to not receive discrimination or cruelty during a breakup. One is not entitled to the person one is breaking up with swallowing all feelings of disappointment or frustration about the situation. Even if it’s because one is having important life revelations. It’s *nice* for someone to put aside their own feelings of having been lead on to congratulate a now-ex for figuring out their orientation, but it’s not obligatory.

If original anon had been dating a woman and figured out that he was gay, “I’m not mad that you’re gay, I’m just mad you didn’t tell me sooner that you didn’t actually enjoy our relationship.” followed by “I processed my feelings and I want to still be friends.” would be a non-homophobic, fairly positive way to handle the breakup.

[jcbbby]

Pls forgive me, I'm a slut for Caius

Caius is a particularly gentle lover, especially if you're human. As he's a Volturi king, he often thinks very little of humans, but it's different with you. He thinks the world of you, he almost worships the ground you walk on.

You float through the halls of the dark castle, bathed beautifully in low flickering candle light, clothed in a long, almost princess-like dress. He sees you as nothing other than a goddess, as tempting as Aphrodite, and more beautiful still.

He treats you like the most beautiful of glass sculptures, his icy fingertips ghost over your skin, always. His brothers constantly remind him to turn you soon, when he used to be the one saying such things.

After your transition, he gets rougher with you. Gripping your thighs hard enough to bruise, if your skin could bruise at least. Drawing high-pitched moans and squeals from you, and reveling in the feeling of your worship.

He makes you take your rightful place, on his lap whilst he sits upon his throne. He commands power and respect, spitting insults and commands even as you nip at his neck.

Once, and only once, a person brought into the castle to be tried for their crimes insults you. Only once.

Caius is known amongst all vampires to be cruel, but no one had seen him more enraged. And for the first time in centuries, Aro and Marcus were scared of him. Meanwhile you sat atop his throne, looking at your freshly manicured nails. (He had painted them for you 🥺) As the criminal screamed in torturous pain.

- @bowersbubbles

god let me be Caius's eternal vampire queen pls. here's my neck bby, go on, give me them fangs, turn me into YOURS FOREVER. 😩

this actually sort of reminds me of a NSFW audio I came across a bit ago...not vampire-related but...british and talking of thrones...and doing things...on thrones... 👀

#jamie headcannons #jamie character headcannons

[daedalusdavinci]

❝  you need someone.  let me be that person.  let me be what you need.  ❞ 😳

you didnt send a dealers choice so im (spins wheel) going w damijon. which i wouldnt normally write bc i havent read enuff comics and etc but i got an idea vis a vis aro damian and the incomprehensible yearning of queer platonic attraction and it wont stop scratching at my head so HOPEFULLY THIS DOESNT SUCK also this is probably when theyre older idk im playing it fast and loose w the timeline here

send me a prompt!

Damian had thought he'd read all of the signs right. The answer was plain. Once again, he was the only person capable of thinking rationally about things that were ridiculously simple. After too long of listening to Jon complain, he presented the solution to him after another long night, their backs pressed against the cold concrete wall of a rooftop stairwell, Jon's shoulder like a fire against his own. "You need someone. Then let me be that person. Let me be what you need."

He expected a relieved grin, perhaps. Praise for his brilliance, certainly. Likely a tease to pad Jon's no doubt bruised ego at being unable to come up with something so simple himself.

Instead, Jon stared at him. He looked at Damian like he'd heard gibberish instead of words, and was trying to parse through it. The smile he gave him was hesitant, awkward. "What?"

Damian sighed. "You keep complaining that you feel alone. That you want someone who ties you down. I do not see why that cannot fall under one of my many roles as your best friend."

"Oh." The relief didn't come. Instead, Jon just looked awkward. He rubbed at the back of his neck, his eyes skittering away from Damian's. Not that Damian ever made eye contact, but the way Jon did it made it obvious that he wasn't looking at Damian anymore. His mouth opened, and then closed again.

Damian frowned. "What is it?"

Jon hesitated. Then he shifted, planting his feet more firmly on the ground like he was gearing up for something big, moving his hands between his knees to gesture. "Look, D... I think you might've misunderstood? It's not that I don't appreciate you! I mean, your friendship means the world to me. But I was talking about, like... what my mom means for my dad, you know?"

"No."

Jon blew out a breath, his bangs ruffling in the wind. "A partner."

"We are partners."

"Not that kind."

Slowly, it started to click. Something in Damian's stomach churned. "You mean a romantic partner."

"Yeah."

Damian didn't know why it felt like his heart was sinking. He frowned to himself, turning over his thoughts, trying to examine why he felt upset by this revelation. It wasn't as though he... had something against Jon having a partner, or wanted... something like that, with Jon. But disappointment still nagged at him, burning in the back of his throat. He fought to keep it from turning into something sharp, folding his arms over his knees and swallowing the impulse until he felt like he could talk. "Why?"

Jon gave him a strange look again. "Why?"

"Why does romance feel so essential? What's missing from this? Is it not better to forge friendships, which supposedly last lifetimes?"

"Love can, too."

Damian scoffed. "As if love cannot take platonic forms. As if the platonic is, somehow, worth less, or not as necessary to living a fulfilling life."

"Of course it isn't," said Jon, surprised. "It's just different."

"How. What is the void that platonic affection leaves behind?" Damian's voice was flat. Irritation bubbled under his skin, even despite the way he tried to push it back. In his head, he knew that it wasn't a proportional reaction, but something about it just stung. The idea that he wasn't enough, somehow, that he couldn't provide something, that someone else could become more important to him, maybe? He knew, logically, that Jon would never do any of that to him, but he also had seen enough people do it that it seemed hard to believe that he wouldn't.

Jon was quiet for some time, studying his face like he might find an answer somewhere in it. The way he looked at him, like he didn't understand what had come over Damian, itched at something horrible in the back of Damian's mind. "Damian..." he started.

Damian shook his head. He could feel clearly that he wasn't responding to this correctly. If he continued, he would doubtlessly say something he'd regret- assuming he hadn't already. He got to his feet, unhooking his grappling hook from his belt. "It's late."

Jon sighed. Then he plastered on a smile, grabbing Damian's hand as Damian offered it out. "Yeah. We can talk more later." The threat of it hung. They would talk more later.

Damian felt queasy. He could only hope that, before then, he sorted out whatever was wrong with him.

#damijon #damian wayne #damian al ghul #jon kent #jonathan kent #my fics #tumblr drabbles #asks

[actualhomunculi]

Since Tumblr allows this kinda thing now, here's some Peri-peen.

They probably stole the camera.

Random thoughts under the cut:

Peridot's always been a fun charater to lewd, and tbh, I stand by that even with the revelation that they're asexual. The version of Peridot that exists in my headcanon is still very much aro ace, though I wouldn't say they're nessesarily sex or romance repulsed... just mostly neutral about it.

On top of that, I think giving Peri an exhibitionist streak is kinda funny and in character. Gremlin energy, after all.

Then again, this is all basically just projection and escapism that brings the character just a touch closer to my own experience with sex and gender.

#Peridot #Stephen Galaxy #Steven Universe #Exhibition #film grain #they/them d*ck

[ohheyitsyouagain]

How about 1, 2, 29, and 31 <3

1. what arospec labels do you identify with?

aromantic and asexual! I know there’s more microlabels out there, and some of them probably fit me, but... I’ve never really cared, honestly. I got the basics down, that’s all I need to know.

2. how did you realize you were arospec?

it was in middle school, I remember I was thinking about it because a few of my friends were realizing how un-straight they were. my thought process went something like this:

well I have to be straight because I’ve never liked someone of my gender -> ...have I ever liked someone of the opposite gender? -> huh I guess I’m not straight

bear in mind this all happened in like, five minutes while I was spacing out during a computer lab. looking back, it’s... honestly kinda surprising that I barely questioned it. usually when I hear about people figuring out they’re arospec there’s like, more internal turmoil going on. I don’t know, I’d always been pretty apathetic towards romance, so I guess it wasn’t that big of a revelation for me.

I think I just barely knew what asexual meant at that point, so I realized that’s what I was. I don’t think I figured out what aromantic meant for a few years, but I didn’t even know that there was a difference between sexual and romantic attraction anyway (since I felt neither) so it didn’t really matter.

29. three songs you relate to?

ohhhh boy. I’m so glad you asked.

I’m glad you’re evil too - PinocchioP

specifically the english cover by will stetson!! this is like, the ultimate aro song to me. a song about two people who deeply love and care for each other, but their relationship is called “childish” and even “evil” by people around them... 100% about a partnering, non-romantic couple. also it makes me cry almost every time I listen to it

Love Love Love - Of Monsters and Men

one of the first songs I ever heard that made me go “ohhh this is aro isn’t it.” it’s also by one of my favorite bands so you know, extra sentimental value.

Rebel Love Song - Black Veil Brides

to be honest this song could easily be interpreted as being about any non-straight relationship but I’m aro so obviously that’s what this is to me. 

31. do you like lovecore?

I’ll be real, put -core at the end of anything and I’ll have to google it. I know nothing about aesthetics.

...okay, after looking up some pinterest boards, I’m pretty neutral about it. I do like all the pinks and reds and heart shapes, but it’s just... not my thing. too sappy, I think.

#thanks for the ask <3 #asks #cinnamon-bunni #d.txt #aromantic #asexual #aspec

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, March 29 - PART TWO

BUFFY: (smiles) Hey! SCOTT: Hey, Buffy! Uh, Faith has been telling me tall tales. BUFFY: (smiles big) She's funny. (takes her arm) And she's leaving. We have to go. SCOTT: (disappointed) Oh... FAITH: Bye. Buffy pulls her away and down the hall.

~~Faith, Hope and Trick~~

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: [Buffy comics art panels created by Georges Jeanty] via g33k_gal (various, worksafe)

Artwork: [Let's watch shark boy and lava girl. buffy x willow] by pzyii (Buffy/Willow worksafe)

Artwork: Good times by isevery0nehereverystoned (Anya, Faith, Tara, worksafe)

Icons: [Sarah Michelle Gellar icons] like/reblog by brolasuite (worksafe)

Gifset: {Xander&Spike} by starryeyesxx (Xander/Spike, worksafe)

Gifset: there's my girl :) by redcheekdays (Star Trek Voyager parallels, Buffy, Faith, worksafe)

Gifset: Levitating by Dua Lipa by andremichaux (Willow/Tara, worksafe)

Gifset: The Worst of the Worst: IMDB’s 10 Worst Ranked Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by clarkgriffon (ensemble, worksafe)

Fanvid: buffy & angel | hits different by lostlcve

Fanvid: Cordelia Chase | Long Story Short by 1SnoWhiteQueen1

Fanvid: vampire with a soul | ats + btvs by Moriah McInerney

[Reviews & Recaps]

BTVS/Angel Rewatch Chronicles: Seasons 4/1, Part One [The Freshman to Wild at Heart] by QualifiedApathetic

BTVS/Angel Rewatch Chronicles: Seasons 4/1, Part Two [Sense & Sensitivity to Somnambulist] by QualifiedApathetic

Anyone go to the Buffy comedy show in London last night? by Prudent-Memory-6129

Season 6 gets better and better after every rewatch by Kindofaddictedtotv

PODCAST: 1.12 Prophecy Girl by Once More: A Rewatch Podcast

PODCAST: Buffy S7E1: Lessons by Booze & Buffy

[Recs & In Search Of]

ISO: FrenchButHygienic seeks Angel-BtVS [similar] vibe shows

[Community Announcements]

Round one of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer tournament has started by bestepisode

[Fandom Discussions]

buffy summers is aro/ace i think but you guys aren't ready for that conversation yet by starlit1daydream

... Angel is cursed to never experience true happiness?? by spikes-left-eyebrow

buffy the vampire slayer gif makers are truly the best at their craft because how are you producing gifs at a higher quality... by mikaelson-hope

[He has a soul parallels gifset.] Buffy the Vampire Slayer | 7.18 and Angel | 5.02 by andremichaux

What do you think Spike would have done with the Gem of Amara had he been successful? by sushibananawater

Who needs enemies when your friends are assholes [Revelations and other eps] by J_n_Space

the body as the worst episode to watch + grief by Kindly_Ad2280

Show me your Worst, best, saddest/hated, btvs episodes. I’ll go first by melaniemoth13

POLL: What episode worked best as a series finale? [S5 The Gift vs S7 Chosen] by nessaaldarion

Episode(s) of Buffy or ATS that would make a great movie? by PristineSituation498

Only reasons of why Angel takes over Wolfram&Hart? by Commercial-Sink8444

You know what makes Willow and Tara's relationship more tragic...? by Belthezare

Best Willow Tara moments! by Slayerette444

Favorite bit of continuity by BiggTS

Spike and Joyce having cocoa with mini marshmallows is such a brilliant scene. by Soulless--Plague

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Ruined episode [Conversations with Dead People and Joyce and The First in S7] by Full-Dome

Is anyone else bothered by this plot hole? [ghost Joyce and The First and Dawn] by mvandemar

Non-fiction books about Buffy? by Lillydragon9

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Should Angel feel remorse? by Aracoth

Angel's worst look? by _behindthewheel_

after finishing the series [ATS], I fucking hated what they did to Gunn and Wesley by b3_k1nd_rw1nd

the [ATS] finale was seen as divisive cause the "big battle" was not portrayed, thats surprising as hell to me. by b3_k1nd_rw1nd

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

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#buffy the vampires slayer #angel the series #btvs #meta #fan art #ats

[wyrmghost]

HI SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO SEE IT! that summary was great!! the amount of thought you put into reign is like mind blowing to me. i looked at the my oc stuff tag but there’s not a bunch there, who’s the girl with the white pink hair? what happens in liar street?also I love your artsyle!

It’s okay! I’m super happy that you’re interested in my characters tho! Also thank you!

the girl with pink/white hair is called Valentine(17)

She really likes to change her hair a lot, going from long, to short, and natural to colored quite often. Val is aro/ace and finds it amusing to listen to her friends talk about their love interests. She enjoys giving her friends horrid nicknames. She revels In drama and lives for chaos(generally caused by her). She met Reign at the annual combative tracks competition in his second year, they became quick friends after playfully insulting each other during a match.

this is the rest of Reigns team, Daniel (19), Riley (18), and Niko (18) I could talk about all of them in depth but I’ll save that for later, since I had the page reload while I was doing it before and I’m gonna need motivation to do that all again lol.

Liar Street is a story about having your entire world turned upside down, the impacts of learning that everything you thought was a basic fact is actually an elaborate web of lies, set up by those you were taught to trust.

What do you do when tragedy strikes and despite the fact you feel responsible you can’t tell anyone about what happened, who do you turn to, when your higher ups have told you to not speak about it, even though you feel like the blood of your friend is on your hands.

when everything falls apart, do you sink or do you swim.

That’s what Reign and his friends have to deal with during the course of Liar Street.

It relies on themes of found family, betrayal, and trauma. (Lots of trauma, most of the cast is a tad traumatized at the beginning and by the end they all have a lot of things to work through)

#my oc stuff #answered ask #text post

[eschatologicalblank]

Tongues

I have some Thoughts about languages and theology that have been just. rotating in my brain for ages, so I'm just going to vomit them up here.

the story of languages in the Bible begins in Genesis. God gives Adam and Eve - gives the whole of humanity - three pairs of gifts and responsibilities. the first - the gift of all the fruits of almost all the trees, and the responsibility to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil - and the third - the gift of the world, and the responsibility to fill it and look after it - are talked about fairly often. but the second one does not, in my opinion, get anywhere near as much attention as it deserves.

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

Genesis 2:19-20

the second gift is language, and the second responsibility is also language! doing word stuff isn’t just a thing that we do, it is a divinely given privilege and responsibility. there are plenty of good reasons to get angry about language deprivation - things like beating kids who speak in their native language in school, parents not teaching their D/deaf kids a signed language (or not learning it themselves so they have someone to talk to) - but I think this is another good one. language is a gift and a responsibility; where the heck do you get off, withholding a gift from their Maker, and preventing the fulfillment of a responsibility He has seen fit to bestow upon them?

the story then continues in Genesis, with Babel. God tells the people to spread out, they decide to stay together and build a giant memorial to themselves in the form of a tower reaching the heavens, God collapses the tower and makes them all speak different languages. pretty simple exegesis, the existence of multiple languages (and in particular the existence of language barriers and all the divisions and problems they cause) comes from sin and the fallenness of humanity and the world, etc etc. but like, what about Revelation 5:9 and 7:9, which specifically point out that the great multitudes of heaven are of every language? there’s a sermon in there somewhere about how even the consequences of sin will be sanctified, be made perfect in the new creation - and indeed, the new creation will be all the better for those things, it won’t just be Eden restored but Eden made better by its conspicuous repairs, like that thing where they stick pottery back together with little bits of gold (looked it up, it’s called kintsugi). idk, I’m not a vicar I just have Thoughts that I cannot figure out how to articulate.

and then there isn’t much (I guess the shibboleth thing? but eh) until Acts, and pentecost:

They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

Bryd hynny roedd Iddewon crefyddol o wahanol wledydd wedi dod i aros yn Jerwsalem. Clywon nhw'r sŵn hefyd, ac roedd tyrfa fawr wedi casglu at ei gilydd i weld beth oedd yn digwydd. Roedden nhw wedi drysu, am fod pob un ohonyn nhw yn clywed ei iaith ei hun yn cael ei siarad.

Acts 2:3-6

(yes, I do think I’m funny. thank you for asking!)

anyway, this passage is like. the entire theological justification for translating the Bible. and like, from a certain point of view it almost seems weird that you’d need a justification? but then, readings in synagogues are usually done in Hebrew (in addition to another language or on its own), and Muslims are generally expected to learn the specific dialect of Arabic the Quran is in in order to read it because they believe it was dictated word-for-word by God Himself. so I guess you kinda do need one.

and like, that’s had so many effects both on Christianity and language? there are a whole host of languages whose written forms were invented by Christian missionaries specifically so the people who spoke them could have a Bible translation in their language. heck, Cymraeg’s pre-existing alphabet was altered, k switched out for c, because the guy given the job of printing Welsh bibles didn’t have enough k’s to typeset an entire page of it, and it stuck because the efforts to get Welsh people reading the bible boosted them up to having one of the highest literacy rates in Europe at the time. some of the earliest Christians in Korea were converted not by a missionary, but by the pages of the bible which a missionary had brought with him and which a local official decided would make for nice wallpaper.

#mine #Christianity #theology #language #anyway in case you can't tell I really quite like languages #especially Welsh #dw i'n caru'r iaith Gymraeg

[expfcultragreen]

ahem.

Demiro

Now wait, before you say...

...hear me out. Im not even serious when i say this, but im like a huge joke to myself so its actually just self revelation in the guise of outrage-baiting the identity police (the anti-identitarian police? Theyre always just mad at specific identities; they dont hold some philosophical stance against identification, just how to identity/what its acceptable to identify as/what acceptable discourse around identity is) with snowflakery. My first thought after lol demiro, is, what does demiromantic even mean, i have an attachment disorder? Ok im killing the shrink in my head, its a reasonable signifier of an adaptive trait amounting to one facet of someone's identity. I mean we are out here labelling our degrees of romantic engagement. It's completely legitimate information for a dating profile, and because of facebook culture we are all, cross-platform, expected to inventory ourselves to some extent so that people can easily prejudge their level of interest in our content. (The different conventions followed are themselves biographical--does your twitter bio read like a business card, a webadmin sig, is it a bunch of emojis, a string of credentials, a microarray of party affiliations? Minority status report, fandom bingo sheet, quoted poetry? Larper resume? Astrology chart? No matter which one it is, the other details fill themselves in from there, dont they watson.

I got off topic)

I do wonder how useful that information is tho, demiro, like im back to my question of what does that even mean--to anyone? It could really only be relevant to someone who's trying to date me, its not particularly relevant to me because its not really something im heavily invested in as a question, how willing or able i am to engage in romantic attachment. It's an errant thought "what if for a giggle i identified as demiro like thats an immediately comprehensible term--and even if it is immediately taken for its intended meaning, doesnt that level of context only serve to beg some perplexity or mystification as to why?" Doesnt it beg the questions ive asked? Like even if you immediately get that its of an ilk to aro, as demi is to ace...i imagine youre still saying fuck is this shit

....unless youre someone who uses the demiromantic tag? Jesus it autosuggested it, theyre out here. Im not tagging it. I bet theyre serious.

I literally do not know how i would go about inventorying whether im fully romantic or not. I feel like im way more romantic than most real world examples i see but i also fall short of my own sense of being one hundo non-aro. Being poly i have this tendency to split attention and even when i have a primary partner im not like fully or exclusively attuned to them and that interferes with my ability to attune to them as needed, to the extent or at the times necessary. And i let it...because im more concerned about the repercussions of having all my emotions invested in one person it might not work out with, than i am uncomfortable with the distance that creates for people who sense that if i was fully romantically engaged in them individually, i would be more attuned to their needs, preferences etc. I think ive been in a successive withdrawing away from "codependency" over the course of my primary romantic partnerships and attachments, that its a learned response that probably even produced neuroanatomical changes that would have been minutely perceptible if finely measured over time. Of course it would be so impossible to parse those trimmings, junctions and formations from all the other shit i do thats producing changes. I heard drinking kills brains cells. And ive smokened a bowl or twain...