#even at that age

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[diabolicjoy]

you can start learning anything you always wanted at any point in your life. & how nice it is to remember that

#a new language a new instrument.. you can even learn how to sing opera if you wish #learn how to knit socks. or to build a wooden chair #or simply going to school for something you just found out you love at age 35 #go to a goddamn tango class!!!! if you that’s what you want #you can learn anything!! anything!!! & there’s teachers everywhere also #je.txt

[comradekatara]

to me, the funniest thing about “that’s rough buddy” isn’t the fact that sokka says something patently insane with zero context seemingly out of nowhere, or the fact that zuko clearly doesn’t know how to respond. it’s the completely incorrect use of the word “buddy.” zuko would obviously like to be friends with sokka, but sokka is not, in fact, his friend. this is the most time they’ve ever spent together, and it’s because zuko invited himself to tag along on sokka’s suicide mission. at this point in the episode, sokka still hates this guy, perhaps less than he did a week ago, but he still hates him enough that he didn’t bother forcing zuko to stay home, which means he still didn’t really care whether or not zuko lives or dies. which, considering that he had tried to kill zuko multiple times in the past, is not all that surprising. this entire episode is essentially just zuko forcing his friendship onto sokka while sokka is legitimately too depressed to care. so when zuko calls sokka “buddy,” there’s a spirit of dogged optimism characterizing that epithet, because in no possible realm would sokka consider zuko his buddy at this point in the episode. and that’s something we miss when noting the iconicness of this exchange, simply because, by the end of this episode, they are buddies, so in our minds looking back on these lines, the implication of friendship doesn’t feel out of place at all. and really, it isn’t out of place, but only because zuko’s tenacity and determination (in this instance, his determination to befriend sokka) has always hugely outweighed his ability to read the room.

#and not for nothing but i think if anyone called zuko buddy (such as aang for example) he would melodramatically groan or something #by all accounts this is not a word he would ever use #but this is his first time even mildly successful socializing with a guy his age #and hes like ‘this is how males communicate right?’ #‘if i call him buddy it shall establish camaraderie. which is the first step to marriage’ #zuko #sokka #sokkaxzuko #90% of my zukka posts are about how sokka hates zuko and wants to kill him #but i think that’s an important contribution to the zukka ecosystem . perhaps even the most important

[sttoru]

thinking of dating older bf!satoru. . .and i’m talking like you’re in your early 20’s and he’s in his early 30’s.

the way he texts at the start of your blooming relationship is super attractive somehow. like the most simplest of texts would get you weak in the knees. texts like ‘good morning, sweetheart.’ // ‘how’s my pretty girl doing?’ // ‘there’s my gorgeous girl.’ // ‘rise ‘n shine, sleepyhead.’ // ‘it’s okay, baby. i understand.’ // ‘you never fail to amaze me, huh.’

or when you’re being very risky via your messenger app, older bf!satoru is definitely the type to say ‘careful.’ // ‘you’re gonna get me in trouble.’ // ‘you’re being quite brave today, doll. // ‘aww, how adorable of you.’ // ‘mhm? that so?’

also . . . gives you money out of the blue. randomly. doesn’t question it at all. or sends expensive gifts your way too without you asking. older bf!satoru would text you stuff like; ‘here’s some money, gorgeous. want you to spoil yourself for me today, okay?’ // ‘just a little gift.’ // ‘you deserve a break, baby. here you go.’ // ‘got you something small.’

and then you check your bank account and it’s an easy $200 / $500 / $800 ++ added by him. or when he’s sending gifts to your apartment, it’s gonna be one of them reaaaaal expensive ones. probably ones you eyed before or had mention you liked very briefly, but didn’t get it because of the price.

definitely also the type to try and accommodate or match his texting style to yours as the months go by. kinda to match your energy. perhaps fails horribly at it, but it’s cute to see him try.

#sttoru chats. #just wrote my thoughts down rlly quick LOL #self indulgent af but if yall want any fics w older bf!satoru let me know in my inbox teeheee might even make a series of it #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x you #gojo x you #cw age gap #cw age difference

[catmask]

sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.

#and i know that sounds silly like YES. it was just a bookr ecommendation #but i feel like a lot of people either dont really care about whats a good starting point for younger kids in their shared fan spaces #or dont really take the care to recognize different peoples ages would effect what they would both enjoy or #be capable of engaging with #not to mention theres a lot of manga that would NOT have been appropriate for a 10 year old to read #so the fact that he askedd and even asked what sort of thing i liked at the time #was very sweet. i think about him a lot and i hope hes doing well #txt #scratchpost

[msasterisk]

drew a hot 90s punk rock tgirl vampire because nobody can stop me

#this is the most self-indulgent thing ive drawn in ages #even more than the robotgirls i think #punk #vampire #my art #oc art

[yourangle-yuordevil]

what if we flirted at the gentlemen club 😳 (and we were both flirting) 😞❤️😞Discreet Gentlemen's Club

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #Headcanon time: All the dancers at the Gentlemen Club fell in love with Mr. Fell at one point because he is such a cutie <3 #and Aziraphale calls Crowley to investigate because he doesn't realize that he's too cute for this world #and instead thinks that his fellow dancers are being tempted!!!!???? #And Crowley just snort laugh for ages while he watches Aziraphale flirt with all the gentlemens without even realizing that he's flirting #the day that Crowley and Aziraphale leaves Portland together #they go to say goodbye at the Gentlemen's club #and all the Gentlemen; after saying goodbye to Aziraphale #shakes Crowley's hand with a knowing look of “Respect to you sir; you managed to charm Mr. Fell. Good for you” #and Crowley looks back at them behind his glasses like ???????????? #good omens comic #historical husbands #discreet gentlemen's club #ALSO: #fumetto che deve MORIRE 🤗 #perchè ha osato esplodere mentre salvavo 🤗 #mandando a puttane tutto il lineart 🤗 #aspetta come si dice???? BRUCIAAAAAAA 🤗 #🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ceilidho]

doing this to john price sorry y’all

#I don’t even have that huge of an age gap with him I CAN DREAM THOUGH

[tizeline]

I bet raph goes like 🤯 whenever April go big sis mode but Donnie AND leo snickers at his reaction as well.

Bro is NOT prepared for the little brother treatment!

#being the oldest sibling in the family #plus being expected to act mature and handle a lot of responsibilities from a very young age #PLUS being way bigger than most kids his age even amongst yokai where there is a lot of diversity in the way that people look #has led to Raph being VERY unfamiliar with being treated like the kid he is for a very long time now #get babied idiot #Tiz Sep AU #tizel talk #tizel art #my art #digital art #tmnt #rottmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt au #raphael #april o'neil #leonardo #donatello #rottmnt raph #rottmnt april #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie

[khruschevshoe]

The way that Jack, Rose, and Nine feel far more like a poly trio in late Season 1 rather than any sort of love triangle is INSANE. The vibes are FERAL and IMMACULATE. The kisses in Parting of the Ways. The sharing-story banter in Boom Town. The flirting. "Buy me a drink." "Continue on with whatever you were doing." The dancing. Jack dancing with Rose. Rose dancing with Nine. Nine offering Jack a dance. Everything Ninerose related. "Before you, I was a coward." The fact that Jack only makes sure that Rose is safe before dying for them, Rose brings him back to life, Nine's every interaction with either of them in the finale...honestly the way that Ten interacts with Jack in Utopia (ESPECIALLY the scene in the radiation room/Jack's reaction to hearing Rose is alive) makes even more sense if you realize that he and Jack are exes and that they once loved each other and Rose equally and then the Tenth Doctor WRECKED that by leaving Jack behind

#ninerose #ninth doctor #captain jack harkness #tenjack #tenth doctor #rose tyler #nine x jack x rose #ten x jack #tenrose #i was picking up ot3 vibes at age 13 before i even knew what polyamory was #doctor who #jack harkness #the parting of the ways #utopia

[dunyun-rings]

I saw a post that said “Dragon Age discourse walked so that Baldurs Gate 3 discourse could run” and that’s absolutely false. Dragon Age discourse sprinted, foaming at the mouth, so that BG3 discourse could skip happily through a meadow

#that OP clearly wasn’t in the DA fandom when Inquisition came out lmao #people acted like mages were a real life opressed group #don’t even get me started on the discourse around which romance options were justified and which ones meant you were a bigot/abuser/etc #is Astarion existed in Dragon Age people would literallt never stop fighting about him I can tell u that much

[littlelykan]

I wish I was treated like I was physically little.

I wish I was greeted with a smile and a kind word by adults who didn't know me. I wish my shyness was seen as cute and not 'weird'. I wish my mistakes were corrected gently and forgiven. I wish I was carried to bed as I grew tired and tucked in with a kiss. I wish that when I grew frustrated and cried it was met with "aww, it's OK" and not sneers and laughter and "why are you acting like a baby? Grow up." I wish that when I got overwhelmed it was understood that I needed some quiet rest and I wasn't pushed to keep going.

I know lots of adults didn't give these graces even when I was physically little, but even the little bit that I got made it just that much easier. I'm still so small in such a big world, and it's just gotten rougher as I got bigger.

#sorry for lowkey venting lol #I just wish there was that gentleness afforded to kids yk? #even grown ups deserve it #sfw agere #sfw age regression

[skillbattle]

ok im gonna be deadass right now i think people need to reflect on how they treat black and brown characters in media especially when they find them attractive. like there’s nothing wrong with finding them attractive, but it’s just the copious amounts of fetishized art and fics that are made of them so frequently that it’s literally just a straight up racism problem

#y’all need Miguel o’hara taken away from you and I am so serious #i saw people doing it with hobie too and it’s even more iffy bc he has an unconfirmed age in the movie… #y’all are possibly treating MINORS like that … 🫤 #txt

[marzipanandminutiae]

thoughts on "tradwives" as a 19th-century social historian

It's great until it's not.

It's great until he develops an addiction and starts spending all the money on it.

It's great until you realize he's abusive and hid it long enough to get you totally in his power (happened to my great-great-aunt Irene).

It's great until he gets injured and can't work anymore.

It's great until he dies and your options are "learn a marketable skill fast" or "marry the first eligible man you can find."

It's great until he wants child #7 and your body just can't take another pregnancy, but you can't leave or risk desertion because he's your meal ticket.

It's great until he tries to make you run a brothel as a get-rich-quick scheme and deserts you when you refuse, leaving your sisters to desperately fundraise so your house doesn't get foreclosed on (happened to my great-great-aunt Mamie).

It's great until you want to leave but you can't. It's great until you want to do something else with your life but you can't. It's great. Until. It's. Not.

I won't lie to you and say nobody was ever happy that way. Plenty of women have been, and part of feminism is acknowledging that women have the right to choose that sort of life if they want to.

But flinging yourself into it wholeheartedly with no sort of safety net whatsoever, especially in a period where it's EXTREMELY easy for him to leave you- as it should be; no-fault divorce saves lives -is naive at best and dangerous at worst.

Have your own means of support. Keep your own bank account; we fought hard enough to be allowed them. Gods willing, you never need that safety net, but too many women have suffered because they needed it and it wasn't there.

#history #women's history #pregnancy mention #my mother (born 1953) drilled this into me from an early age: have a safety net. have a skill and keep it up to date. have your own money #NEVER join bank accounts. keep a hold on your assets. #well and good to be a stay-at-home wife and mother- I know other lesbians who want that even! #but if your partner is your sole financial support...you're courting danger IMO

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

resident evil body types... :3

#ethan winters #mia winters #karl heisenberg #chris redfield #havent drawn karl in AGES #hey girl #resident evil #resident evil fanart #rebhfun #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #re8 #drawing body hair is fun #for the first 10 minutes 😭 #by the time i moved to karl i was getting impatient #we need more dad bod ethan #give karl strong fat #he does NOT have a six pack and slim waist come on bro #i lauurveee drawing anatomy #i like drawing shirtless men and not even because i think they r attractive 😭 #body types r just fun to draw #and i HATE covering up my hard work with clothes!!!!!!!! 😭