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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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I've been feeling really detached from reality lately and the only thing I'm doing consistently everyday is going through fics and tumblr. I'm 17 and have to start uni applications soon but I'm too demotivated :( Do you think I'm wasting my life? Bcs my parents surely think so, and I want nothing more than to hide in my blankets and never come out again. I feel very unproductive and I need to get my life together and actually do something other than sleep, read and write. (1)

I just got into Sherlock recently and I'm totally obsessed with it, almost a year ago I was as obsessed with BTS (kpop band) to the point Mom had me talking to the counsellor to find a solution for my obsession. When I left the BTS fandom Mom was happy that I'm finally getting my life back on track and focusing on school, but here I am doing it all over again with Sherlock. I don't want to do this, but I feel like Sherlock is the only escape I have from reality now.I have to be an adult soon (2)

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

The short answer to your question: No, you’re not wasting your life.

Here’s my anecdotal long answer:

It’s easy to feel disillusioned at 17, especially if you’re expected to do one thing or another. Now, I can’t speak to your situation because my parents were supportive of my decisions and fandom life, so I never really had that problem. Which is where I’m going to start: Your mum has issues of her own, it seems, and may be projecting a bit onto you... Some obsessions absolutely need counselling, but I doubt you were at the level of stalking and creeping and gatekeeping the fandom. I imagine you were collecting photos and sharing music and videos with your friends. Jesus your mum would have an aneurysm if she met me then – I’m nearing 40, and my apt is full of Funkos, movies, photos, magazines, collectable figurines, and in my off hours I draw fanart, play video games, and maintain a fairly-popular fandom blog. BUT I can see her side of things – she just wants you to get a career and be able to fend for yourself – but, in my opinion, stifling the things you enjoy REALLY makes for a shitty adult life. It’s no wonder you’re unmotivated – you’ve nothing to look forward to except studying and nothing else.

Here’s my anecdotal story: I didn’t start college until I was 22. I got rejected from all the colleges and universities I applied to at 18, and naturally that blew the wind out of my sails. I wanted to be an animator. I worked my ass off to get into courses, and I didn’t. My self esteem was in the shitter after that, the guidance counsellor assigned to me at school basically said “oh well, LOL” and I was lost. It SUCKS. My parents were still supportive of me, and told me to at least get a job, because they didn’t want me to sit around doing nothing. So I did. I worked for two years in retail, and I hated it. But it kept me busy and I was allowed to enjoy my life at that time. And, in my own time, mostly motivated by my family moving, I decided I was ready to apply to school again, because those two years I worked at IFuckingHateWalMart, gave me some money for school and a desire to never work retail again. And guess what? It’s a LOT fucking easier to get into school as a “Mature Student” (in Ontario, if you’re over 19, they consider you a mature student), because they know you’re serious about school and they just want your money.

I applied to 5 different arts-related programs, 3 of them Graphic Design, one Fine Arts, and I think the other was Art History. I got accepted to all 5 programs. I chose the different career path because I actually took time to research, and decided that since I wasn’t up to snuff as an animator (and the program I wanted to try again for wasn’t there anymore), I’m REALLY GOOD with computers, so let’s try this design thing. I love it.

Anyway, the point to this story, Lovely, is that perhaps you also are someone, like me, who just needs a break to figure out what you want to do with your life. I don’t regret taking a couple years before going back to school. And that may be what you and your mum need to discuss.

So, to summarize in said discussion:

You need to be firm with your mum that stifling things that make you happy makes you feel unmotivated to move forward in your life. You don’t intend on not furthering your education, you just need a mental break and Sherlock and BTS makes you WHO you are, and makes you happy.

You need some time to decide what you want to do with your future. I really REALLY hate this culture of schools forcing you to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life even before you’re legally allowed to drink in most places. It’s so terribly horrible. The pressure I had to apply during high school was so terrible, that teachers made you feel like a failure when you graduated and had no college path set. It’s awful. I’m telling you, taking the couple years (it was only going to be a year but I wasn’t ready after a year) to reflect on my future and to decide what I wanted to do next was the best decision I made. Do you know how GOOD it felt to have all 5 colleges accept me after being rejected two years prior? It felt GOOD to send rejection letters to people wanting to have my money, LOL. AND I feel like I succeeded, because I was able to see the job market and figure out what career path would be sustainable for me in the arts field. GC is still a cut-throat field and I’m still not respected despite nearly 20 years later, but that’s my own fault for being stagnant in never leaving the newspaper (also, never work at a newspaper).

Fandom and Real Life can co-exist, provided you don’t let fandom rule everything. Your mum is lying to you if she tells you that she wasn’t / isn’t a fan of things, so ask her what music or movies make her happy. It’s the simplest form of fandom, but there you go.

That all said, Nonny, don’t give up, and it’s okay to feel unmotivated during All This™. I can’t even imagine what the point would be to apply for school in September if no one is even going to be in a classroom environment, erf. And if you need an excuse to hold off, there you go, tell your mum that you want to have a think about what career you want to pursue, AND you would rather it be in a classroom environment anyway, because you need that “study environment” to stay focussed on your studies, and not at home where the “distracting terrible fandom stuff” is, hah.

And finally: Being an adult isn’t all that bad. I can buy whatever fandom-related fuck I want and no one can stop me. I do what I want, when I want. I watch youtube, blog, play video games, travel, draw, and buy toys all because it makes me happy. And yeah, I have the boring adult stuff like taxes and groceries and rent and a job and debt, but if you can get all that stuff organized and sorted early in your life like I did (I have a set amount of money set aside a month for all the above from the job), then you can figure out what you can do that’s fun based on what’s left from the boring stuff.

TL;DR of all this: Talk to Mum, take some time, and enjoy life.

I hope this has helped you somewhat, Nonny. I know I tend to ramble a lot, but I do genuinely think that you just need time, and some understanding from your mum. You’ll feel a lot better about moving forward if you have those things, I think.

Love you Nonny, and I hope you’re alright <3

#steph replies #my advice #life advice #about me #chatting with nonnies #growing up #Anonymous

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growup-gloup · 4 years

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Ever since my childhood my feminity was constantly brought down, mocked & shamed. Now I struggle a lot with seeing myself as feminine, sensual or/and sexy. Everytime I dress up in feminine + sexy way, i absolutely love it but i can even embrace it. Its hard bc i know that deep inside i have a strong and powerful feminine energy that just want the best for me. Can u give me some and advices on how to overcome all this and be more at ease and in harmony with my feminine energy ? Thanks a lot 💕

Okay here’s the thing.

The sun rises and sets regardless of whether or not you’re outside. More than that, you say that the sun rises, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s actually the earth moving, and the sun hasn’t gone anywhere, right? The point is, no matter what you think of the sun, it exists as it does with or without your opinion. That’s the same thing here. You exist as you are. Some might find one trait appealing about you while others would not. That trait exists regardless.

Now onto the specific theme of femininity, most women, and men who embrace femininity as well, are, like you said, shunned about femininity from a young age. “You hit like a girl.” “You’re not like other girls because all other girls care about are their looks.” “Bro, that shirt makes you look gay.” And so on. Even if no one said those specific words directly to you, you hear it being said to others. You see that the girl we’re all supposed to like in this book or movie is the one who rejects her femininity. It makes it really hard to embrace femininity when it’s considered so below us.

But a dress is a dress. It did not actively seek out to make you shallow or whatever negative connotation that comes with femininity. It’s just a piece of fabric.

I’m a firm believer of the fact that masculine and feminine energies exist beyond gender identities, and every single person, regardless of their gender and orientation, has a bit of masculine and feminine energy in them. But that’s a post for another day, if anyone is interested. What I mean in this case is that you, too, have that energy, even if you didn’t wear anything sensual or stereo-typically feminine.

But the fact that you are dressing the part is a great first step. But don’t just pick up a dress because it’s the pinkest, most frilliest thing you’ve seen, unless, of course, that’s what you like. When you’re looking for clothes, look for things that make YOU in particular feel feminine. Here’s an example: I think bralettes are absolutely cute and feminine, and I love seeing it on other girls, but I always feel awkward wearing it. That means, that even if I wore this feminine thing, I wouldn’t feel feminine, and as such, I would not be able to exude the feminine energy that I want.

Beyond that, there’s the regular style rules that apply. Make sure the item fits you well. People think you have to be a certain size to look feminine, or at least good, but it’s more about the fit of the clothes than your body shape. Certain shades of colors bring out certain qualities in you while others wash out the qualities. You need to find the colors that work best on your skin tone. Also, the fabric should be comfortable. If you are constantly tugging at your clothes because they itch, you’re not going to look, or feel, good. Investing in higher quality fabrics and getting them fitted to your personal measurement is an investment, but it saves money in the long run because they last longer, and you get more wears out of them rather than the $10 trendy piece you saw on sale.

If you want to wear makeup, get used to a simple “no-makeup” routine that is easy to apply, can last the day, and isn’t too cakey. I love the creativity of some makeup artists and amazing things they can do with the same palette that I have. That being said, the art of the makeup can often take away from your personality. That’s why, if you look at the feminine people you admire, their makeup is fairly simple, maybe a bold red lip or a sharp eyeliner as a defining feature, but that’s usually about it. Of course, if you like bold looks, this doesn’t mean you have to stop.

So far in this post, I’ve stuck to the realm of physical femininity, but if you’re doing all of that and you still don’t feel feminine, consider your actions. Start with the things we don’t often think about, such as the way you move and speak. Keep your posture straight and your head up. Move slowly and collectively. You have all the time in the world. Speak softly and without aggressive language. You have no need for such things. I know women tend to have a reputation of slandering and gossiping, but nothing is further from femininity than talking badly about others. Don’t start drama. You don’t have to run the other way, but detach yourself from it. You’re above the drama. You have more important things to focus on than who’s sleeping with who. A great place to start is the tabloids. A lot of our small talks have started resorting to the latest celebrity scandal. It really isn’t any of your business what they do

Also, nothing feels as feminine as mystery. I don’t mean to say that you have to shut down every question someone asks, but you don’t have to go into detail either. Live your life the way you want without announcing it. Like use your quest to find your femininity for example. Yes, you’re trying to act more feminine, but does anyone need to know you’re trying to be more feminine? If you say that you are, then suddenly, they’re conscious of your efforts. Even when you do a great job exuding feminine energy, they’ll be like “oh, she’s just pretending; it’s not real”. Or, if you do something masculine after you’ve announced that you’re trying to be more feminine, they’ll call you out on it and act like it was some major sin, and you’ll feel worse whereas they wouldn’t even have noticed it otherwise. Let them notice for themselves. If you wear pants religiously and decide to wear a dress today for the first time ever, yes friends and family will ask you what is up with that. All you need to say is that you wanted to try something new and that is all.

I suggest looking into Dita Von Teese’s suggestions on femininity. Very little of it has to do with looking a certain way. It’s all about the mindset and behavior.

💋

#carpe diem #style #another long essay #Anonymous #AMA

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cvptainandors · 4 years

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thoughts on the new movie? :)

hi anon! i’m going to assume you mean the new little women movie bc it’s the last film i saw and also my url would indicate that it’s the only thing i currently and ever will care about (which is the correct thing to assume)

i honestly. loved it so much. which says a lot because my hopes were SO HIGH as i didn’t even have it in me to be skeptical about it bc i was so excited and yet it still exceeded all expectations. i openly wept throughout and like idk i have many thoughts idk if i can make them all coherent but i will damn well TRY.

the casting first of all was,,,,,, chef’s kiss. perfection.

i already knew saoirse was going to be the perfect jo and i had every faith in florence and eilza (more on that soon) but it was emma watson that really surprised me as meg. i guess i just didn’t really think it was inspired casting when i first heard about it but she’s literally perfect for the role and oh my god congrats to meg for marrying such a STONE COLD HOT NERD john ‘it’s a lovely greenhouse’ brooks you have my heart. also the cursed ringlets scene that continues to give me hives to this day? her ‘MARMEEEEE’ omg queen of comedy?

did i cry like i was trying to stop a drought during saoirse’s ‘woman have minds’ monologue? you bet i did!!!!!! this is going to be the clip they play when she gets her oscar nom isn’t it?? rightly so.

eliza scalen how dare you make me cry like that i was a convulsing sobbing mess thank u so much for reassuring me that my tear ducts still work. also her lil scene where she fed joanna when all the other girls were fighting. a pure bean.

FLORENCE PUGH GREATEST ACTRESS OF OUR GENERATION.

FLORENCE PUGH ACADEMY AWARD WHEN????

FLORENCE PUGH DUMP ZACH BRAFF AND DATE ME CHALLENGE (no fr i will forever have the most chilling and vivid memory of hearing they were a thing bc i had legit JUST been served nachos and just had to sit there pretending to enjoy my nachos with that knowledge fresh in my brain and i blame him for me going on a nachos hiatus)

anyway we know i love jo bc hi look at my url but this film solidified my status as an amy girl through and through. i’ve forever been a defender of amy re: manuscriptgate but this whole movie just did the best job of showing everyone else that she’s the GOAT of the march sisters. and florence is my favourite amy ever. i can swither over all my favourite interpretations of the other march girls but not. florence!amy is for life not just for christmas. the scene where she talked about her feet outside laurie’s house physically changed me as a person and i would like a personal oscar nom for miss florence’s phlegmy cry alone.

and that brings me to... timothee chalamet nation, you... are valid. maybe i stan lil timmy tim now. maybe his delivery of ‘I’M FINE’ did something to a girl. he did the perfect job of showing how much of a fuckboy laurie is but like. he’s my FAVOURITE fuckboy and i am forever grateful for the time and attention given to laurie and amy’s relationship throughout the movie instead of having it bookended in there with a shove and zero care. also this movie did such a good job of portraying laurie’s relationships with all the marches instead of just jo and amy which i LOVED. like when he danced with meg and how he was always putting his arm around beth and asking aunt march to dance at meg’s wedding. god bless.

laura dern as marmee... idk i have nothing to say because i’ll just CRY. please adopt me. that scene at the kitchen table DID ME THE FUCK IN HOW AM I EXPECTED TO RECOVER FROM THAT MAKE IT MAKE SENSE LUV I WAS A MESS.

and i’ll be totally honest. i’ve honestly never been a bhaer fan? idk i know that’s a little like sacrilege these days but all i feel is this emotional detachment from him and that was only furthered in this movie because of all the changes like him being french instead of german. i’ve never been a fan of like large age differences as well even tho yes yes i know different eras and his maturity is there to counteract jo’s attitude but idk maybe i liked that he was younger even though i know a lot of people are pissed about that so it’s... not something i’ll go into detail about because i just. don’t care about him. i’m SORRY. altho i liked meg and amy’s involvement in the umbrella scene.

i was also!!!! a little confused at first by greta’s choice to use flashbacks instead of telling the story in a linear way? but i really liked it because we’re used to seeing everything happen in chronological order through all the other adaptations so i liked the fresh spin on things and CAN YOU SAY LIGHTING. the warm colours for the flashbacks and the cold colours for how everything is for the march’s present day. AGAIN CHEF’S KISS.

this is honestly getting too long omg you probably just wanted me to say good or bad or something i’m sorry i just have so many feelings because this story is so important to me and i feel so lucky to have such a good adaptation of it god bless ahhhh anyway FIVE STARS GO SEE LITTLE WOMEN TELL FLORENCE PUGH I’M SINGLE

#little women #sorry to anyone who has to read this #Anonymous

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ofregiums · 5 years

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silence ! raise the royal standard, for the king of hungary, DOMINYKAS VANCURA, has arrived. being thirty-one years old, he is currently on the throne. many around the court call him the insurgent by virtue of him being perspicacious and captivating, while also being ruthless and aggressive. —played by max irons

— THE BASICS

full name: dominykas leandro vancura date of birth: july 26th age: thirty-one star sign: leo profession: king of hungary ( canon ), hedge fun manager mi6 operative ( modern ) loyalty: hungary, house vancura, entente alignment: chaotic neutral mbti: estp spoken languages: hungarian ( first ), english ( fluent ), spanish ( fluent ), french ( fluent ), mandarin ( fluent ), russian ( advanced ), italian ( advanced ), lithuanian ( intermediate ), polish ( intermediate ), hindustani ( intermediate ), arabic ( beginner ) mother’s name: gabriella vancura father’s name: richárd vancura ( deceased ) siblings, if any: p��l vancura ( older, deceased in canon ), aurélia vancura ( younger ), adelaida & angéla vancura ( younger, identical twins ), dániel vancura ( younger ) children: laima vaisvila ( aged five ) height: 6′2″ hair colour: dark brown. eye colour: blue-grey.

— CANON VERSE

first off, let me start off by saying that dom can be the wOOOoooooOoooRST. what’s his damage, heather ? well, it’s not his family. his family was super loving and supportive and he grew up loving all of his siblings and such. never rly had the responsibilities of being king so he fucked around a lot as a teenager, partaking in hedonistic behavior bc why not ?

fell like fucking head over heels madly in love at the age of seventeen to a lithuanian duke’s daughter and shit, nothing else mattered. she was his polar opposite like a goddamn ray of sunshine but she made him want to clean up his act in a way that he never though possible. he !!! fucking !!! loved !!! her !!!

yep, loved. bc he can’t be happy, duh. they got married at the age of eighteen, things were fucking great. she tempered him down and reminded him that there was good that no one else saw. about two years into their marriage, the two discovered that tiesa was pregnant. but the war was brewing and he felt like he needed to fight and that all sorta stressed his wife out a lot. she has a miscarriage due to it.

that was the first knife to the heart. dom grew resentful and numb to his emotions. he detached from his family and was a far harsher and colder man. lacking a purpose, he went off to fight in the war. witnessing those horrors really fucked him up and added another knife to the heart.

he had a partner in crime in the war, a total ride or die. this was probably the only guy that could coax a smile out of dom lately. so obviously that meant he couldn’t live. he was killed saving dom. that traumatized the hell out of him.

coming back from the war, dom was no longer the boy he’d once been. he’d become a man, and that man was more akin to something horrible. he delved headfirst in hedonism to drown the pain and clutched to anything that could make him feel – if there was anything at all.

then, his father who he LOVED was murdered by prussia. ( clearly, i’m saying fuck dom rights )

the final straw for him ? losing tiesa. after the glorious news of hearing that she was pregnant again, the two thought this would be the new fresh chapter in their book together. she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl that they named laima. but as quickly as happiness returned to dom, it was taken away -- tiesa lost too much blood during the birth and didn’t even survive to see her beautiful creation. in absolute anguish, dom plucked all the knives of trauma that had once pierced his heart and declared that he no longer had one -- save for his affection for his sister and child.

coveted the throne from his older brother, but really it’s just something to fixate on so he didn’t delve too much into his own fucked up head. he was angry that his brother refused to attack prussia for their sins against their father. considered his brother a weak leader and fully convinced himself that he would be better. (spoiler alert: he wouldn’t.)

he got the chance to make that selfish, horrendous dream into a reality when the vancura family traveled to bern for the peace talks. one night, pirates stormed the castle taking lives and innocence left to right. dom seized his opportunity and stabbed his brother in the midst of the attacks. as he died, dom promised to exact revenge on prussia for their father. when guards came around, he pretended that it was the pirates that had done the deed. oh no ! long live king dominykas, i guess.

dom is hurting and in return, he wishes for everyone else to hurt. and if that meant lighting himself on fire and burning all the bridges on the way, so fucking be it. he’s vindictive and charming like a fucking snake, and he’s just as venomous.

anyways that’s my trash son. if you’re hot, he’ll flirt. if you piss him off, he becomes a scary mass of rage. terrible temper smh.

prussia, he’s coming for you hoes.

— MODERN VERSE

born the second oldest of the vancura children, dominykas didn’t have as heavy of a responsibility on his shoulders as his older brother did. honestly, he liked it that way. he had no desire in being controlled or even having a hand in his family’s business – banking. his great grandfather created the company and soon, the ambition turned it into an empire.

while his parents had met as children in hungary, they migrated to london once they eloped for a better chance in life. dom has only been back a handful of times in his life to visit family. he hasn’t been gone by his own will since the age of sixteen and doesn’t plan on doing so.

instead of worrying about the family name, dom enjoyed being the pretty hedonistic rich boy that got everything he wanted and did everything he pleased. was the peak definition of a fuckboi growing up and was very proud of it.

didn’t really want to further his education. while he was naturally intelligent, he never had the desire to just learn for learning’s sake. but not attending university was a non-starter when it came to his strict father. he was handed pamphlets of high-end schools and was forced to make a choice. he decided on oxford university, since he had zero desire to leave england.

that ended up being the right choice because: a.) he met his best friend florian & b.) he met tiesa. she was by far the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life and the moment dom tried to use his usual disingenuous charm on her, she shut him the fuck down. holy shit, he needed it. and the reason that she called him out on his bullshit was exactly the reason he fell in love with her. after much back and forth throughout their studies, she agreed to go out with him and they started dating very soon after.

near the end of his university experience, dom was approached by a “hedge fund firm” for an internship. upon the interview process, he learned that it was in fact a cover for the secret intelligence service. they wanted to hire him as an operational officer. dom, a known thrill seeker, thought it would be fun.

keeping his lives separate proved to be difficult, especially with how things were going with tiesa. they fought a lot about him being secretive and it placed a strain on their relationship. things grew doubly complicated when tiesa announced that she was pregnant. dom asked her to marry him instantly, not wanting this to be a decision that severed their ties. they had an elopement, much to his family’s dismay, and a few months later – laima was born.

if he thought he understand love before, fuck it only grew tenfold. all he knew was that he loved his wife and his daughter and he would do all he could to protect them. ironic, considering the nature of his job.

upon graduation, the secret intelligence service offered him a lucrative new position – in the field as an operative. it sort of felt like something out a movie but this was a cold reality that would change dominykas’ life for the worst.

collecting information, by means or torture or even worse methods, wore on the man. but he couldn’t just back out of his agreement. he was in for life and that was a decision he would have to learn to accept. except, dom was a stubborn man. so, he tried to get away. packed up tiesa and laima and booked a trip to the states. he was willing to trade secrets to the cia for protection.

the day they were supposed to leave, he found tiesa shot through the head in their kitchen. laima was wailing in her nursery. the official news was that it was a botched bulgary. but dominykas knew, he fucking knew. it was them. and he had no choice but to continue to work for them. for laima’s safety.

his mind spiraled into darkness and paranoia after his wife’s death. he didn’t know who he could or couldn’t trust. could it have been one of his siblings who betrayed him ? a friend from his dining club ? truth be told, the only person that he trusted throughout this all was florian but even his best friend could not salvage the shell of the person he’d become after losing tiesa.

now, dom bitterly continues to work for the service, no longer batting an eye at the the violence and schemes of it all.

drinks a lot more than he used to. too much, actually.

no longer attempted to be there for laima as he should be. truthfully, he sees too much of tiesa in her and the reminder threatens to take him off the deep end.

#( * introductions. )#( * rich kid asshole ; paint me as a villain | dominykas vancura. )

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hclles-blog · 5 years

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hey guys ! this has been sitting in drafts for at least a day now, but trust me when i say i’m as excited as i was when typing this fucking monster of an intro SDKFGJKFD but i’m jules, kard and clc supremacist and a struggling student about to apply to the english faculty of my uni ! like i said, this is a super long intro, so get settled as i introduce asteria’s resident skating brat halle, a bitch who overworks and doesn’t know how to chill long-term !! stats page is HERE for your reading pleasure, extensive plots and an extra list of options are linked accordingly !

jeon somin, cis female, she/her. — have you seen ( hyunmi “halle” chae ) around ( hecate ) ? they’re a ( twenty-two ) year old ( senior ) who’s majoring in ( kinesiology. ) i know they’re busy with ( dance club, women’s volleyball, and kappa delta sorority ), but you should tell them to check their latest starred rating ! ( jules, 21, she/her, gmt-3:30. )

honestly she is.. fucked sgjfsgdkl

this is mostly a carbon copy of an intro i’ve made for her in the past, so while some random points seem a Little dated or repetitive, they’re valid enough to stay here sfdlgkdg

i’ve had inspo for her after the olympics and rly wanted to use her somewhere, so if some things here seem a little.. idk, farfetched for your taste, we’ll pin it on that sfdgkdfj

this is her as popular vines

so chae hyunmi aka halle, ulsan born, raised in seoul and relocated to toronto, canada with her parents, little sis and partner to train bc..

she’s a figure skater, good enough to win ( .. junior ig ) titles when she was in her early teens, so it was only inevitable for her to leave for toronto to train with the Best eventually

she’s competed in international competitions, as part of a pair, and made her olympic debut in sochi by the skin of her teeth; her highest placement was third place ( not at sochi pls sgjkld she prob ranked in the top ten at best ), so she’s got a medal or two to her name

ultimately it was after sochi that she saw her coach and ( ex ) partner intervene with her.. unhealthy practicing habits

she’s a perfectionist through and through, so of course she’d spend hours on the ice at just seventeen/eighteen years old, even younger tbh, to get a routine right. but she pushed herself harder and harder, where small missteps would lead her to fall hard and recover for days on end, even spraining her ankle just before competition season was to begin

so when her coach insisted she take a break, her parents following suit, it was with good reason — one that she didn’t fucking see fsdkgkl

even so, them pushing her to prioritize education for a bit, to get ahead of the skaters who would prob only be able to do so upon retirement in a good few years’ time, and hanging up her skates until she saw it as.. less than something she needed to abuse herself to feel comfortable with, for as long as they would do so led to her resolve shattering and her applying for universities in canada, the us and sk ( the sly brat reasoned that it’d be nice to be reconnect with her roots.. for the sake of having something going for her beyond just competing in pyeongchang ! )

but the latter wound up being a bust bc she opted for asteria u, close to some of the popular yet secluded skate clubs the greats went to during their off-season training.. and before tr*mp got elected bc she would’ve cancelled everything, demanded her money and scholarships back, had she arrived after that LSDFGJFKLD

should be noted that her grades were good, she had a super brief volunteering stint and she’s a rising star ( well, was.. the bitch wouldn’t be competing again anytime soon to keep herself where she was within the skating circuit ) in her favoured sport, so she deemed all of this inevitable sfkljfdgk

though the school didn’t and still doesn’t offer its own skate club so, that was a slight drawback for the invested bitch

the transition wasn’t too hard ofc; she got comfortable with the campus and was back on the ice in no time, joining one of those aforementioned skate clubs under her parents’ noses and making the most of it as comeback/olympics prep

she saw herself as poised to be added to the roster once again, now a singles prospect after a major falling out with her longtime partner for one too many dumb bitch moves, and was desperate for it; however the stars didn’t align back in 2017 during her sophomore year, when she just missed obtaining qualification while now on canada’s roster on a technicality, and nothing could’ve compared to the agony that was missing her chance in something she invested sm practice, time and compliance with the people around her to pull through and get to pyeongchang

she’s still distraught over it, it’s been a couple of years since that happened and she gets emo real quick, misty-eyed if you bring it up ( she uh, has issues with moving on from things if you can’t tell )

suffice to say she resents her coach for his minor contribution in fucking her and himself over, dropped him out of anger ( a move she.. does feels bad abt on a personal level but professionally ?? pft ) and linked up with one back in toronto who she’ll begin seeing when she’s “ prepared ” to give it a shot again

meaning she’s currently on hiatus from the sport, but she knows a good few people think her career is Over now — and it pisses her the Fuck off

studying kinesiology despite wanting to be a skating coach when she retires as a competitor, bc she rly loves being active and thinks she’d be a resource in the field down the line ok ??

anyways, she’s found new things to invest her time in, such as the sorority, dance club and volleyball

dance helps with the choreo for her routines.... or Did, but we all know she’s still doing Some amount of skating on the side so

and it helps in areas where muscle memory and years of flexibility can’t quite do so

volleyball’s a great second option for her as a sport, mostly bc she can exert as much of her frequent frustration as possible into a game and act like it’s just her being into it. though she really can be That competitive, as you can see, rather than bratty

so, moving onto other things —

personality and other shit

she is.. a mess rly

inflexible, independent, charismatic, etc

most of her actual personality is further down oops dsfgjklfg

kinda detached ?? like she doesn’t want too many distractions and she deems relationships as the fucking Worst for it.. she’s had some pals from skating with potential go downhill when they got too deep with certain partners or just with too many side hobbies, social obligations, so she’s trying to be level-headed while not destroying her social life ?

idk it’s hard to explain, she’s an enigma even to me in that area

only dated once or twice. the first time being when she was like nine. with her first pairs partner that she quickly ditched.

not.. super sexually active either ( rip ?? )

but she’s been Involved with people so fdskng

on the ice, or just in whatever she’s applying herself to, she’s domineering and blunt, v strict on herself though she’s slacked off a bit over the years.. so imagine how self-disciplined — in the worst of ways — she was when she was younger

with a rigorous work ethic like hers, her being a leader among those at the local skating club implies that she’d be strict too with what little power she has.. but she’s kinda chill overall ?? tho you still have to get your twizzles right before the end of the day, don’t care that the hockey players will be out in two ! let’s go !

uh.. her attitude carries over with a Lot of things. she especially has no time for people who are Committed to their sport but show poor performances bc of laziness, distractions, etc. so brace your kids for hurricane halle ??

call her ice queen. try it. try it. GKFDJKGDSF she hates that nickname 95% of the time, usually bc she assumes people are basing it off of her initial/professional demeanour first and her passion second

she rly just has a hard shell where it matters, aka her career and stuff, but is a semi-precious gem overall

or, for a better way to describe it though it sounds like i’m just repeating myself: she gives off Proper head bitch vibes ( subtract the Need to feel powerful in being a piece of shit to anyone who walks past you ) but she’s really just a blunt and serious brat with a super dry and at times menacing sense of humour

she won’t hesitate to call you out on your shit or make it clear that she doesn’t like you, though, even if she appears cordial on the surface

as a result, hockey players HATE her !

bc she rips into them the most for frequently poor experiences with her fellow ice people. most of which are them hogging her reserved practice time, and being thirsty and pretentious dicks about it within and outside of the arena

kind of dramatic and a meme ngl, curses quite a bit, whips out korean or her conversational-level french far too often — especially if she’s shit-talking bc you made an ugly choice but is trying to be a Supportive Friend

english name came from halle berry bc hyunmi thought she was rly pretty on all the red carpets her mom would have on growing up sfgdkjflk

unwinds with the usual netflix and wine

oH also prob still hurts herself by overworking, especially after That Lost Opportunity, i hate

she’s pan but..... girls disappoint her far less than guys so she has a preference djfgskgdkf

all of that being said, it clearly plays into how she’s perceived by others, so —

her view and reception on starred

she..... probably doesn’t do too hot tbh

well. maybe she Does if starred's social ladder resembled most high school/college shows, movies.... rps, but it doesn't really so —

in all fairness, she probably does do better than i'm assuming rn bc.. she Is a character of sorts, who knows gskfksl but MOVING ON !

her blunt and kinda snarky attitude is partially Why she hates this point system, bc people tend to kiss ass just so they aren’t given a low rating whereas she can only hold back about 5% of her unfiltered opinion — but that’s IT !

tbh she relies heavily on her involvement in extracurriculars, and especially her public image from her glory days, more so than she herself to keep her head above water

so she looks entitled from that alone

given the way i’ve played her in the past, ik she might come across as a hbic type: thinks she’s the best ( which.. she kinda does sjkfgd ), savours the power she tries to or does in fact exert, doesn’t come across as particularly sympathetic or nice, etc

but she’s just a shit disturber with thick skin and a slight kink for receiving admiration and respect, puts herself first a little too much

in fact, she doesn’t really Care to hold people by a leash, but yeah, it can come across much differently since her tone never really Shifts if she doesn’t know you well, doesn’t trust you, knows you’re naive with such things, doesn’t like you, is just fucking around or in a sour mood.... the list goes on

so if your character focuses on who’s the nicest or most cheerful when giving high ratings, makes a v quick judgment on their character from a first impression, she’s gonna be near the bottom of their list dfsghkfgj

and like i said, she doesn’t care for the system Enough to change any of this, so she gets by

KDFJGSKFL uh, let’s end it there bc this is painfully long — congratulations if you’ve made it to the end of this intro from hell ! if anyone wants to plot, like this or im me !! ( ps, if you prefer d*scord like yours truly, just ask for it or send me yours ! )

#╳┊: — these are stacy's baby ! •「 ooc. 」#starred:intro #y'all i'm SO sorry this got so long kfdgkgsdj

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bts-dontknowher · 7 years

Text

Best Friends Don't Do This || Park Jimin

Bestfriends Don’t Do This || Park Jimin

Words: 2,159 (fuuuuuuck)

Genre: SMUT

A/N: oh my god I’m back at it someone stop me someone send me Jesus bc I need it. I am trashhhh. Anyway, lol, requests are open! Send us some of your deepest desires and we will get to it! ^.^

-admin courtneycat

..-~*~-..-~*~-..-~*~-..-~*~-..-~*~-..-~*~-..

Spending time at Jimin’s always meant something would go down that night. Whether that would be a movie night, a sleepover with lots of icecream and snacks, or random bruises from mini fights you two would have. Jimin is your bestfriend, has been since you guys were just ten years old. You’ve seen everything about him- from the bad to the good. Bad hair cuts and breakups, to movie nights and prom dates. Now, sitting at the early ages of twenty, you guys both are realizing the differences between then and now.

A piece of popcorn was thrown at your face, hitting you dead smack in the middle of your forehead. Jimin giggled at your cross eyed glare you had given him.

“Excuse you, sir, could you fucking not?” He only laughed harder. The Captain America movie was no longer being paid attention to, as it only seemed to turn into background noises.

“It’s movie night ma'am, get off your damn phone! This is our tiiiiiiiiiimeeee,” he wailed at you, throwing another piece of popcorn at you. His missed this time. Glaring at him, you threw a Twizzler at him. Though not at his beautiful face- wait, what? Shaking your head from that bizarre thought, you messaged your friend to stop bothering you- that you were with Jimin. She messaged you a few dirty emojis back. Rolling your eyes, you locked your phone and placed it on the cushion next to you.

“Sorry, Y/F/N is messaging me weird shit,” you told him. His eyes scrunched up and a smirk took over his lips.

“What kind of weird shit? Tell meeee!” He demanded. You shook your head, “Nuh-uh! Not telling. Just weird stuff you don’t need to know, trust me,” you laughed it off. You curled yourself into the couch more, resting your feet onto Jimin’s lap. He made a face at you again, but ignored it, paying attention to the movie finally. Poor Chris Evans.

The room felt quiet. Which was extremely odd because Jimin is almost always making some sort of noise- humming, singing, muttering, snoring, and lets not forget… yelling. Yes. The amount of times Taehyung has come over during our friendship nights is astounding. And whenever he does come over it’s constant noise times five because Taehyung. Yes, you probably understand.

Taking a peek over at Jimin, you see that his eyes are focused on the movie. You mentally shrug and continue to watch the movie. Suddenly, he grabs your feet and tugs you down the couch. You let out a squeak of surprise and grab onto the side cushion for dear life.

“What are you doing, asswipe?!” You screech out at him. He only smirks and climbs on top of you. Sitting on your legs and pinning your arms to the couch. He then grabs at your phone, making your eyes widen in fear. Shit.

“No no no no no! Hey, put that down!” You yell at him. You knew he was going to find those text messages. Your friend is extremely dirty and you guys would talk about interesting topics. By interesting topics, you mean sex. And by sex, your topic of the day was thigh riding. And somehow your friend had mentioned Jimin’s thighs and you had somehow agreed that he had nice thighs. And now here you are. Being encased by said thighs and you couldn’t help but quickly glance at them… because he was coincidentally wearing shorts.

Jimin only smirked as he clicked the home screen button. The lock screen showed the selfie of you and Jimin at the carnival from the last time you guys were hanging out. Thank god you had a passcode on it. “Hah! That’s right, so get off me ya lard butt-” you started but,

“Hahaha!” Jimin had figured out the passcode, “now let’s take a look at those messages.. mhmm…ah! Y/F/N..” he muttered.

“Please no, please I’ll do anything! Just give me my phone back! Please!” You begged out. He stopped what he was doing and glanced down at you underneath him. Your hair was sprawled out around your head and in your face a little. Your eyes looked at him as you chest heaved up and down because this whole time you have been fighting and struggling to get loose from his grasp. What you didn’t know is that Jimin liked this. You beneath him, sweating, begging. Yes, he liked you. And he definitely knew what those texts were about.

Still smirking at you, he locked your phone and tossed it to the ground. You looked at him and noticed something much different about him, yet you couldn’t tell. He let go of your arms and slowly trailed his hands down them, and to your back. His trail left what seemed to be fire as your back arched by itself. Jimin then lifted the top half of you up and soon enough you were face to face.

“Uhm, uh thanks. For-for ya know. Uh not looking at the messages,” you stuttered out. He nodded in acknowledgement, but his hands never budged, but to be honest, you didn’t want them to move. You almost whined when you felt his right hand move up to the back of your neck. Your breath caught in your throat and your eyes looked into his. What was he doing? And why weren’t you stopping this?

“You’ll do anything? Anything for me?” He asked you. Too caught up in the moment and paralyzed from his touch, you just nodded back at him. He softly chuckled and went with his gut for the first time in a while. He lowered his face close to yours and instead of backing out, you closed your eyes and just went for it.

Soon enough, his luscious lips were attached to yours. Your mind went blank and nothing around you seemed important to you anymore. Not the movie, not the time and definitely not your phone. You cupped your hand to his cheek and shimmied closer to him. He dipped you back down to the couch and lowered himself down with you, lips never detaching. Holy hell you were kissing your best friend and you liked it. You liked it a lot.

You two separated for the briefest of moments and looked at each other. You were both breathing heavily and as you looked back down at his lips and back to his eyes, he reattached his lips to yours again. You were in heaven. And he thought the same. He slipped his tongue out and ran it against your bottom lip. Moaning, you parted your lips and let his tongue in. Never in your life have you ever thought about French kissing Jimin in his apartment.

Too caught up in the moment again, you gasped as Jimin flipped you around. This time he was underneath you and you groaned at all the dirty thoughts that ran through your mind. Jimin’s hands trailed down to your waist and quickly pulled your sweater over your head and threw it somewhere in the room. A low moan rippled though the back of his throat and you could feel the heat pool in your stomach. His hands attached themselves to your breasts and massaged them, casually tweaking at the perky buds. You were a mess at this point.

“Ah, Jimin, I think, oh god, I think you’re wearing too much,” you moaned out. You tugged at his shirt, and he got the hint. He pulled the t-shirt off. You didn’t holy your moan in at all when you saw his upper half. Dear god, you ran your hands down his tanned skin and lowered yourself down to kiss his torso.

“Fuck, baby,” Jimin moaned out. His hands moved down to your waist and rubbed his hands around. As you began to suck small little marks onto his collarbones and neck, he lifted you up off him.

“Okay, baby. You said you’d do anything, right? You can’t go back,” he told you. You didn’t care at this point. You nodded. He could get you to do anything and you would care. He propped himself up on the side cushion and smirked.

“Ride my thigh, baby.” He patted his thigh. You just blinked. So he did read the messages. Fuck. But looking at his thigh, you threw all caution to the wind and straddled him. His smirk got wider and his hands gripped you hard against him.

“You ready, pretty girl?” He asked you. All these pet names got you off and you were more than ready for this. Nodding, you bent down and kissed him again. His hands moved your lower half back and forth, the rocking motion sending your mind into overdrive. The amount of pleasure you were received was insane.

If Jimin were to be honest right now, the vision of you, getting yourself off only by the sheer friction of his thigh, could have him cumming himself in no time. Your body glistened with sweat and mixed with his, and he thought that must have come second to things that make you incredibly hot. Just everything about you could get him off.

“Oh, fuck, Jimin. Oh god, you’re so good,” you moaned out. His shorts would bundle up and run at your clit and send you into overdrive. Sure enough when you looked down, you notice the wetness that was slowly running along his thigh. Fuck was that a sight. You looked back at Jimin and notice his eyes were screwed shut. You decided to help him out a bit. Running your hands down his chest again, you let your hand trail into his shorts and grab his dick. His eyes shot open and stared into yours.

“Oh baby girl,” he groaned out. You swiped the precum that gathered onto his tip and brought your fingers to your mouth and sucked. “Fuck,” he dragged out, flinging his head back as he moved you faster along his thigh. You squeaked out at the friction and nearly cummed right there.

You grabbed his length again and ran your hand up and down. The moans coming from him pushed you further to your orgasm and you tried moving even faster to help him reach his. One of his hands reached up and brought your face down and kissed you hard again. And just in seconds you were sent into oblivion as your orgasm ripped through you. Your sight blurred and gasps left your mouth. The sight of you jerking and gasping, pushed Jimin to the edge and right after you, he let go and white spurts spotted his chest and your hand.

You collapsed onto his chest, not caring about his mess sticking all over the place, cause really- you left a mess on his leg anyway. Who cares right now. Breathing hard you managed to speak out,

“Oh shit, Jimin. What the fuck… just happened?” His hand ran up and down your back as you leaned a bit back to look at him.

“Something that should have happened a while ago, ahh,” he was now blushing and you couldn’t hold back the grin on your face, “this is so backwards but uh, do you wanna go on a date sometime?” You leaned your face back into the crook of his neck and gave him a peck. “I would love to,” you whispered into his skin. You could feel the shit eating grin on his face and he snuggled you closer to him. Resting there longer, you could almost fall asleep.

That was until-

“Hey guys! Guess what Jungko- WHAT THE HECK GUYS. Did I come at a bad time- oh my god!” Shouted Taehyung. Jimin threw the nearest pillow at him.

“Get the fuck out, Tae!”

You heard the door slam back shut, loud yells of disgust still being shouted down the corridors. You couldn’t help chuckling a little as you knew that Taehyung will always be Taehyung in the end. Jimin shifted a bit underneath you and you looked down at him curiously. His face looked a worried.

“Umm, I’m not so worried that my dick was hanging out for Tae to see, but uh, I got a second confession for you,” his voice was small and scratchy, but you just shrugged and let him continue, “okay, so this was kind of planned?”

“What does that mean? What do you mean plan, Park Jimin I will end you!” You started grabbing at his bare chest with your hands.

“No no no! It’s not what you think really! What I mean is is that Y/F/N was basically trying to get you to think about me like that because I told her that I liked you…” he trailed off, a bit embarrassed.

“Park Jimin… I have liked you for a very long time,” you giggled a little, “uh, thanks for finally doing something. But, oh is Y/F/N is a dead man.”

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