“Can't remember when we walked past the O.R. sign!
(sur-ger-y!)
Can't remember passing out with her hand in mine!
(my-my-mind!!!!)
I remember waking up with my mind repaired.
(A-OK! ^^)
I remember when I realized, she wasn't there...”
Amnesia was her name….. is. so. horrifically. sadly fitting for these two in literally every single line. And I’m gonna NEED ALL OF U GUYS TO GO LISTEN TO IT NOW OK… THIS ISNT A DRILL GO GO GO GO!!!
Anyway… uhh. the fact Betty “blessed” this guy to like. An eternally long lifespan w THIS FUCKED UP OF A MENTAL STATE IS SO SCREWED UP GHGH- Like poor Simon god damn…! u kno he’d rather just keep on not sorting out his baggage and trauma forever too cuz it’d be too complicated… too much… force him to admit things about himself and about BETTY that he really really doesn’t want to… better to just leave it all unexamined.. pack it all into lil boxes so he can just try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist… HE GOTTA LIVE FOREVER W IT THO… *ME BANGING ON SIMONS DOOR AT 3 IN THE MORNING*: “SIMON U GOTTA ACCEPT URSELF!!!! LOVE URSELF!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE N ACCEPT EVEN THE “BAD” PARTS OF URSELF!!!! SIMON PLEASE!!!!! SIMON EVEN PPL WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO YOU LOVE CAN HURT YOU!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE IT!!! ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT AND ACKNOWLEDGE UR FEELINGS!!!! AND URSELF!!!!! SIMON!!!!” anyway… gGHGH YEA, SRRY. SIMON PETRIKOVS MENTAL ILLNESSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM GONNA EXPLODE. ANYWAY HAVE SOME ART. W a bunch of diff versions cuz I’m indecisive!
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Do you ever think about how Fakir, after him and Ahiru finally broke everything that kept the town of Goldkröne in the ghostly hands of its writer, after they finally have some air of peace over the town finally being able to live in its intended early 2000s environment, that Fakir still feels at times like it's not real and that for a while he fears that if he closes his eyes it'll be back in Drosselmeyer's control. Like it just doesn't feel real to him during that first year of calm, until he feels the dull pain on his recovering hand injury and Ahiru who follows him without a pendant anywhere to be found.
He doesn't feel it's real, the calm finality of this town, but he makes sure to feel the scar on his hand. And he makes sure to hold the little duck and realize that she is who she has always been. Him and the town are finally living peacefully.
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first thing i did when i woke up was go on twitter and get blasted by that deleted scene in anatomy of a fall of sandra going DROP DEAD!! I CAN'T STAND ANY MORE OF YOUR MEDIOCRITY!! JUST DIE!! DISAPPEAR!! and like 1) sandra hüller the ACTRESSSS that you are, and 2) again, i fully understand why this didn't make the cut. babygirl would be in jaaaaaail lmao.
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in honor of one year of stellarlune, is there anything you really like about it? there's a lot of things to hate but for you is there still some good in it?
oh! wow! interesting question!
I don't think it's any secret that I have a very deep hatred for stellarlune lmao but one scene did immediately come to mind when I saw your ask.
in the end scene, fitz mentally checking in with keefe (before he does with sophie) and stealing her dagger to give to keefe? trusting him with that?
and the fact that keefe goes through with trying to stab gisela? ough.
this was big for both of their characters I think. fitz has been here. he's held his brothers life in his hands and hes tried to end it before. he knows the anger that keefe is feeling and agh.
for him to be there? for him to acknowledge those feelings and for him to help keefe? to, despite all the tension in the last few books, give him the dagger.
the keefe/gisela and fitz/alvar parallels were strong here and I think this genuinley may be one of my favorite scenes in the book.
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