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saetoru · 4 months

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this blog is now archived !! find my MASTERLIST here !!

hi guys, and here’s a long overdue post that i wanted to take the time to make after collecting as many screenshots as i can for a lot of rumors that i think need to be addressed. before i do that, i wanted to apologize to all of my mutuals who ended up wrongfully harassed in their inboxes for simply knowing me—the irony of this issue being about bullying all the while people on this app have been simultaneously being genuinely awful to other writers who have zero involvement has been ridiculous.

i would’ve made this post sooner, but december was very busy—as you all know, i’ve been working with two separate companies for my capstone projects, and i had final presentations with boards to worry about. and then a cruise which was fun, but i was offline. now that i’ve finally had time to enjoy my break and collect my thoughts, i’d like to voice my own side to the discourse i’m sure you’ve all seen posted by @/garoujo, who is now @/gojoath.

first and foremost, i’ve been on tumblr for almost 4 years now, and while i may not have the brightest moments on here (no one will be spot-free in that amount of time), i’d like to think that if i actually went out of my way to vicious or bully people, this would’ve come to people’s attention a lot sooner. i’ve had a relatively large following across all 6 of my blogs in my time here, and while i don’t like to get into the metrics of my blogs, the reason i point this out is because i have willingly started my blog over 6 times. 3 of these were sfw blogs under my nickname tee, another 2 of which were my previous nsfw blogs under a different alias, and saetoru which is the current one, where i finally decided to combine my sfw and nsfw writing into one space. i just wanted to bring that up because i had quite a habit of leaving and restarting blogs before this one, and had i been obsessed with outperforming other writers in terms of follower counts, i would not have left the previous ones as often as i did.

that being said, i’ll also go through a timeline of events and how they’ve snowballed into an issue that is not as one-sided as most of you might think. i’ve been mutuals with emmie since my first blog, and i’d been mutuals with her through most of her blogs as well. we’ve never really had issues until her last blog @/garoujo, which she’d started after deactivating @/atsymu due to discourse regarding racism accusations. the reason why we had a falling out was because i felt that there were a series of odd coincidences that felt slightly purposeful, but i was still questioning whether or not i was looking too deeply into it to actually point any of it out.

admittedly, when i saw her first set of banners, i felt our layouts were a slight bit similar, but i really didn’t mind too much because i had been planning to change my banners anyway because i was bored of them. so i took that as an opportunity to do so. it just so happened that within a day or two of every time i changed my banners, hers would be changed too—i never said i owned the color gray, and i even fully acknowledge that the last two sets of banners, at first glance, wouldn’t be a red flag. because, like i said, i was more uncomfortable with the pattern of coincidences than the actual layouts. then i switched to my instagram theme, and not long after, i noticed her add instagram story visuals to her navi. again, no one ever said instagram was my original idea, and that no one else could use it, but it was an unsettling feeling having the same moot continuously make changes around the same time as you, and changes that are different enough that you can’t exactly point out an issue, but slightly similar enough that you can’t exactly ignore the slight oddness.

coincidentally, the same day, another blog (who i will not name bc they’re not very active anymore and are also not very relevant to this story) made the same theme as me and i was a bit peeved because this same blog is someone who has copied a few other things from me and a handful of other moots, so i made a subpost on my moots-only personal blog at the time. keep in mind, i made this post fully aware that emmie was on this blog because i didn’t intend for that post to seem like it was about her. but she reached out to me, and i explained to her the situation, and i even provided the relevant screenshots to show my points. i still considered her a decently good friend at the time, and even with the slightly off feelings, i was still adamant about brushing them off and considering them coincidences that perhaps i was being a bit too critical of.

it wasn’t until i woke up a few hours later after changing my theme and going to bed that i noticed she’d then fully switched to the insta theme. again, instagram is an app used by millions and, at one point, was a very popular theme used amongst most people on this app. i’m not entitled enough to believe i was the first person to do it, but like i said. there are just off vibes most of us will not help but feel when a series of coincidences continue to happen back to back to back by the same person.

there were, amongst these things, a number of other small touches that made me feel off. most of them i don’t remember by now or have screenshots of, so i won’t bother to go into all of them, but for reference, one example i’d also like to point out that i’d had the phrase “you’ve reached the hanmas” in my inbox when she was still on @/atsymu, and sometime after, her sfw blog @/loveatsu had the phrase “you’ve reached the miyas.” small things like this are not things i make an issue over and am more than capable of brushing aside, but like i have said and will continue to push firmly is that i felt there were multiple instances of emmie, in particular, making small tweaks to her blog shortly after me that made me feel were not all coincidentally similar. the issue was never themes or thinking i am the first or only person to do something a certain way, the issue has always been me countless times feeling that one particular individual is exhibiting a behavior that is persistent and uncomfortable no matter how minuscule the instances may be. maybe they were really just unfortunate coincidences that happened with poor timing, or maybe they weren’t. but i stand by the fact that anyone in my shoes would be valid to question the timing of each of these events over and over again.

i would also like to bring up kinktober (though this happened a while after the rest of what i will get into) because this was the first public discourse that emmie and i got into due to an anon’s claims of similarities between our posts. i had received an anon who told me “i think someone copied your kinktober masterlist” which i answered to ask if they could let me know who. they had come back to say it was garoujo, and i did not reply to the ask, instead, i made a post to vaguely tell the anon that i appreciate them letting me know, but i will just leave it be and continue on with my kinktober regardless of emmie’s mlist. i do think there were some vague similarities, but honestly not enough to really question it, so i figured a confrontation or issue was not necessary. a while later, several moots had messaged me to let me know they had received anonymous asks saying to “block @/garoujo she copied @/sakusins and she’ll copy you too” (or something along those lines, i don’t remember exactly.) i myself was very confused (and upset) by the situation because i did not, and still would not, want to be publicly name-dropped in other people’s inboxes over issues that do not involve them. unfortunately, it led to some not-very-kind asks to both of us, and while i am sorry she had to deal with that, it is not an apology from a sense of culpability. that situation was, and still is, entirely out of my control. i would not have seen the masterlist unless the anon had mentioned it, and i did not take part in having people send asks about her to other writers. especially not in a manner that was pretty much social suicide for me as well.

(this is a poorly made collage i know lol but i hit the picture limit bear with me here.)

i would also like to point out that i am not the only individual who has had issues with emmie and feels she had copied them. although i cannot disclose urls (they have been blocked out for privacy reasons) here are a few conversations i have had with my own mutuals, and i would wager there are more people whom i haven’t talked to who also feel this way. they might be small enough instances that sparking issues over them was not worth it to all of these people, therefore she has never heard from people herself about this issue, but the point does still stand that this claim about emmie is not one i alone make, and is one that i have heard countless times before. her never being approached by these individuals for the sake of peace doesn’t erase that they have been, and are, upset by these events, and it’s a habit that she seems to continually partake in. i would also like to link this post where she has been called out by another writer while she was still atsymu, which was posted while we were still friends. i’ve actually had a discussion with emmie about that post, and at the time, i had quickly skimmed the post and felt it was perhaps a reach, but after my own experiences, i went back to reread the post and considered perhaps there was validity to it, and that this might not be a one time occurrence. plagiarism in manners such as this will always have conflicting opinions, and it is hard to sometimes tell if something is a coincidence, a popular and overused idea, or something that has actually been copied. my point is that a number of people have all felt that perhaps there is a good chance this was not an accident, and please consider that so many instances of people feeling this way might suggest that there is a certain degree of validity to the claim.

at the beginning of all of this, when the masterlist banners had first started bothering me, i was upset, and i chose to vent to an ex-moot of mine who most of you would recognize as munsonsins. abby has deactivated a long while ago, but she’s relevant to this because i had chosen to vent to her at the time, and this is more or less what later caused this situation to escalate. at the time of venting to her, i knew she wasn’t mutuals with emmie because, as you can see, she’d told me as such.

one thing i would like to point out is that there were a handful of people i had vented to about my frustrations with emmie, but one thing i had always been mindful of was ensuring these were a) individuals who i considered close friends and not just random individuals, and b) were not friends or moots with emmie in the event that i accidentally made people who she cared about think lesser of her. had abby been mutuals with emmie, i would not have shared my feelings, and once again, i was not loose-lipped enough to just tell anyone because they’d listen. i told abby in particular because i had felt we were sufficiently close individuals who talked one-on-one and were able to vent to each other. a bit after i vented to her, though, she befriended emmie, which i had no such issues with because abby was/is her own person and is an adult who can interact freely and befriend whoever she wanted/wants to.

not long after that, on the night before eid (this detail is relevant in the future) an ex moot of mine @/kazuwhora reached out to me. if you guys remember, there was a discourse last year that was all over dash about how writers on this app should be open to criticism. a lot of people (including me and kc) were upset by that sentiment—which is still valid. please don’t give constructive criticism to writers without their explicit permission !! but regardless, kc sent me a screenshot of a mutual of mine who had posted their opinion on this discourse, and their point was clearly that while constructive criticism is important in some aspects, writers do not have to be subject to receiving it should they not want to. unfortunately, i felt as if kc misunderstood what this individual was trying to say, and i was trying to explain it to her, but we got into a small argument over how we interpreted the post. i felt some of the things she was saying about this individual were inappropriate, and i had made it clear that i was very fond of this person, and it made me uncomfortable to be having this discussion. regardless of whether she saw my interpretation of the post or not, i wanted to drop the discussion, especially because it was the night before eid. eid is the one holiday i celebrate, and there are traditions i quite enjoy the night before, and i didn’t want them to be spoiled with a poor mood over a silly argument. unfortunately, she wasn’t very willing to drop the topic, and it ended up making me upset. so i posted this screenshot to my moots only personal from the conversation that consisted of my messages only and said, “tonight i had to explain what a debate is.” it was petty, perhaps, but very harmless, seeing as there was no context given and no names/pfps to indicate who the person was.

truthfully, i had vented separately to cat, eris, and abby about this argument because i was friends with the three of them at the time, but needless to say, venting to your friends about arguments is a universal action, and i believe it is something all of us have partaken in.

eventually, i decided to softblock emmie because i felt it would be more comfortable for me on my blog to do so. after a bit, i was informed of a subpost that seemed like it couldn’t be about anyone other than me—to make things clear, emmie subposting me was not my concern. i did not hold it against her because she is more than entitled to have her own feelings and vents on her own blog, but the thing that did concern me was that it seemed slightly evident that she was aware of my feelings when i had never explicitly had a conversation with her. it made me question who would tell her, and as you may have guessed, the only person with whom i had shared my concerns who could also be in contact with emmie was abby.

at the time, eris had also voiced concerns that they had trusted abby with the ending of the plot for the diluc series they were planning, and coincidentally, one of abby’s friends had posted a fic idea eerily similar to their concept, to which abby had been commenting and reblogging more brainstormed ideas under. all of these ideas were very close to the plans eris had for their series plot, and understandably, they felt that it was not a mere coincidence that their entire plot was being brainstormed on dash by a person who was fully aware of their outline. i’d voiced my concerns with believing that abby may have also been sharing things i trusted her with, and as a result we both had made a few vague subposts that we liked from each other—a petty behavior, i will admit, but not something that i think is very out of the norm for a lot of people on this app. sometimes, we all just want to vent out our frustrations, and because we all more or less use tumblr as an outlet, these can sometimes be vaguely taken to dash. it’s not something that is ideally recommended (i’ve learned the hard way) but it’s also ?? not exactly something that only i’m guilty of, or is even a rare behavior. i think to shoot down one person for this behavior is quite frankly hypocritical. again, subposting isn’t a habit i would like to push as mature but it’s something i’d like to point out is very normal in this community, and is not something only i take part in. beyond that, i take to ensuring that whenever i do, i’m not explicitly exposing who i’m talking about in order to keep them out of unnecessary issues.

after this conversation with eris, it kind of solidified in my mind that i did not want to trust abby with any more personal vents, or information, and i had ultimately decided to soft block her too. i had also decided to take the opportunity to softblock kc as well because i figured i might as well just remove individuals who i felt made me uncomfortable. this is, again, my right to do so to curate my own space. not long after, cat, eris, and i had been softblocked/hardblocked by a number of moots, and we were a bit confused, until cat ended up having a conversation with kc. many accusations were made about all three of us, more specifically, about me to kc by abby because the two of them had been discussing that they’d both been softblocked by me recently.

the list of accusations we were told of is as follows:

me, cat, and eris have a “burn book” where we “blacklist people.” it’s important to note that every time this discourse resurfaces (this is now the fourth time), the “burn book” has fundamentally changed in its composition—it has changed from a discord server “burn book”, to a google doc “burn book”, to the current rumor that it was an entire blog that was used as a “burn book.” it is consistently changed to fit whatever narrative is trying to be pushed, and regardless, the rumor itself is entirely untrue and has been addressed multiple times. cat has had a tumblr theme, a collab theme, and a server theme all dedicated to the film mean girls. she simply had a channel that was to share the urls of minors to block for interacting with nsfw works, or people who were anti-dark content—this is something that i have seen in all servers i’ve been in during my time on tumblr, and is not a new concept for many of you either. it’s simply a precaution a lot of servers take to warn writers about potential minors to block, and potential anti-dark content harassers. the name of this channel happened to be “the burn book” because it was a mean girls themed server, so the name just fit. nowhere in this channel were other writers in the community “blacklisted” or spoken negatively of, and here are the screenshots of the channel. this was simply something abby had twisted in order to paint us negatively. here is the link to cat’s post addressing it for proof and explanation (i run out of pictures or i would include them myself.)

abby also claimed that i was using this channel to talk poorly about kc and a handful of other moots. this is also false bc this server had several strangers (as it was cat’s server and i didn’t know all her moots), but it also had several of kc’s mutuals/friends in this server as well. i’m not so dense as to talk poorly about other writers publicly in a server, let alone a server i know has people who are friends with kc

now, this next part, emmie has conveniently painted out to be about me, as i apparently harassed and blacklisted people for liking itto from genshin impact, but i have been playing genshin for over a year on this app, and quite a large number of you are my own followers who see my rambles and my writing and i don’t have to explain that i have never written for itto, nor explicitly expressed an interest in him apart from perhaps one or two posts from back when i did his story quest. i never had, and still to this day, have no interest in the character itto. i’ve skipped his banner, i plan to skip his upcoming banners should they come, and i have never written for him, nor do i plan to write for him. this issue with itto is between eris and another individual, and i do not have the details to this, as i was new friends with eris at the time, and i’m no longer friends with eris as of current time. quite frankly, even if i knew the details, i wouldn’t go out of my way to share them because it has nothing to do with me. plain and simple.

as you can see, there were a number of rumors spread here to kc by abby, and as you can see, all of which led me to seem quite vicious in character. i’ve provided, to the best of my ability, screenshots and receipts of why each of these is quite drastically out of context and far from true to what abby has claimed.

i did in fact, after these events confront abby because i was genuinely appalled by the way she knowingly and purposely twisted things conveniently to villainize me. she expressed that she was upset and paranoid by the subposts that she figured were about her once i’d soft blocked her, so i apologized for the posts. she had conversations with both me and cat about the rumors she’d started, and she also apologized for them to both me and cat.

the rumors that emmie has claimed about me in her post, which she conveniently provided no evidence of, are all rumors that are more or less a result of my differences with abby and kc. unfortunately, despite cat trying her best to explain to kc the falseness of most of these rumors, she didn’t really believe them—which is her business. to each their own. i’m sure if i had been in kc’s shoes and in one night, someone i had considered a friend had been painted to do a series of nasty things behind my back, i also would not know what’s true and untrue, and she is entitled to piecing together what she believes is her truth. what’s not fair, however, is for emmie to have no involvement/understanding of these events apart from a twisted narrative she heard from one person and dog pile them into her claims of my behavior to further paint me as a villain. emmie is more than entitled to have her beliefs on my character based on her own experiences, which she has provided her own evidence of, but simply slapping an “and i heard she also….” does not necessarily make claims true, and is very manipulatively thrown into the post to add a list of things that make my character questionable to further validate her point.

not only this, but she has made a point to openly admit that she and her friends have collectively mocked me for my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, who they have apparently labeled as my “fake” boyfriend that i used to get attention on this app. quite plainly, i get enough attention on my blog that i don’t need a fake boyfriend to amp that up. but furthermore, i am a south asian, muslim individual. my parents are immigrants with very strict religious and cultural beliefs that i feel are very restricting at times, and though i love my family, i struggle with my identity quite a bit as i live in a very western culture that clashes quite a bit with my cultural norms. i do not get to freely explore my sexuality or even romantic life in general, unlike some of you. my parents have been kept in the dark about my relationship because them knowing about it is something that could quite literally create a rift between us, and i find it very insulting and almost suspicious that a white girl is making a mockery of my cultural struggles and my personal life. many of you are either desi or muslim or simply children of strict immigrant parents with quite stubborn traditional views. i’m sure plenty of you understand where i’m coming from when i say that i have to keep my relationship hidden from the majority of the people around me. tumblr is the one place i can anonymously share bits and pieces of my life without worrying about if it will literally cost me my relationship with my parents, so sometimes i may have overshared silly or pointless things, but that is because it’s my own way of being able to express myself and my relationship the way i have always wanted to. apart from that, dragging and making a joke out of someone’s personal life is quite unnecessary in this case. the issue is about tumblr discourse, and i find it very hypocritical that i am being labeled a bully when people, more specifically a white and privileged individual, is plain and simple mocking and poking fun at my personal life and situation that i have no control of. that is my piece on that. whether some of you believe i had a partner or not is not my business, nor do i have to go out of my way to show you evidence of my personal life. what i will say, however, is that there are a handful of close friends i have on this app who are involved in my personal life and have seen evidence of my love life through pictures and private stories on social media. quite frankly, these are the only individuals who i have to justify the validity of my personal life to, and it’s honestly quite violating for someone to stoop to dragging someone’s outside life into issues about tumblr. i extend a very genuine fuck you to every single one of you that have ridiculed my personal relationship and just know that you are extremely bold to consider yourselves above bullying when this is the type of behavior you admit to engaging in. individuals with complex familial relationships, and identity struggles between cultural norms, their ethnicities, and the western world are not your playground to make a joke out of. some of us have very real struggles, such as not being able to pursue careers in favor of arranged marriages, not being able to pursue actual relationships that mean something to us due to a lack of familial approval, being forced to bear children at young ages due to familial pressure, and so on. they are not laughing matters, and are a part of my reality. and before some of you get started—yes, it really is that serious. i have struggled my entire life with having white girls poke fun and tease at my cultural norms, and i refuse to allow another white and privileged individual who already has a record of racially related discourse walk away with once more poking fun at my personal struggles and not be called out for it. i hope you had a good, long, satisfying laugh emmie.

onto my next points based on claims @/anantaru has made about me. the main thing i’d like to really point out here is that anantaru and i have never, not even once, interacted to the extent of my knowledge. they claim that cat and i cannot stand it when people cross us in numbers and that we go through people’s likes in order to find minors and blank blogs to explain all the notes. a) i am very bad at checking for minors and blanks in my own notes, so this is not even a logical approach on my end, but b) this claim is made because cat made this post under the tags of a post going around last year that asked to hear unpopular ficblr opinions.

what cat means to articulate here is that sometimes, when she is scrolling on dash and interacting with moots and their shit/talk-posts, she peeks at profiles she sees in the notes and has happened to catch minors lurking. cat, firstly, has never followed anantaru, so they are not a “victim” to cat glancing at their likes, but secondly, this is not nearly as psychotic as it’s painted out to be. cat is not, and was not, jealous of other blog's notes. quite plainly, she’s not exactly a tiny blog either, and she’s only stumbled upon minors in the talks-posts of moots, including me. shit-posts/talks-posts are easy to notice minors lurking on, and while most people recognize that it’s quite impossible to catch every minor and ageless blog in writing posts with numerous notes, a simple shit-post on dash is more simple, and her unpopular opinion was simply that blogs that grow rapidly need to be better about catching those minors because they are susceptible to having more of them lurking. it’s a really harmless sentiment, and she’s gently reminded me as well on more than one occasion to be more responsible about my habit of being lazy when scouting for minors in my interactions.

this is not out of jealousy, nor is it some sick and twisted habit she has to “explain” why people get more notes than she might get. it’s also out of a place of concern for her own content ?? i myself and plenty of other large blogs reblog from mutuals, and they are well within their right to be concerned that perhaps minors are lurking on our pages and interacting with works we reblog from our mutuals. cat has voiced this concern to me before, also out of goodwill and simple concern for my content, her content, and minors in general. there is simply no need to twist it into her viciously looking down upon large blogs and their notes counts and claiming they’re “only because they don’t block minors.” admittedly, though, i do need to be better about catching minors, and i have always appreciated her trying to keep me in the habit of being responsible about it. more importantly, it was a small passing comment under a post of unpopular opinions, a lot of them were hot takes, and this is hardly a serious one to get so heated over.

i’d also like to point out that anantaru has claimed we blocked them for being a gatekeeper and because we’re jealous of their notes. 💀. a) i am very grateful and very happy with the level of interaction i get on my writing, as more people than i imagine leave me countless comments and reblogs. i have never had an issue with comparing my interaction with that of other writers because i have always been abundantly content with the interaction i get. i have no other comment on this other than cat and i blocked anantaru at the same time because we happened to see a post of theirs reblogged onto our dash that made a joke that we felt was a bit insensitive to/alluded to SA—i’m sure it wasn’t meant to be taken that way, but it made us uncomfortable regardless. while we are both dark content supporters, and i myself have read more than one fic that includes noncon in particular, it doesn’t mean we have to like/enjoy everything related to it and we simply decided to block them. i’m not going to bring this post up bc it’s simply not important. they are an adult who is more than entitled to make jokes on their blog and cat and i do not have to like them !! we simply did what we were well within our rights to do, and that’s blocking them.

there’s more they go on to say about receiving hate asks and that apparently it’s because of our “group of friends.” cat and i don’t have a group of friends. i don’t have any group chats with her besides the one with her boyfriend because i get along with him sometimes as well, and we used to play genshin together a lot when i was in low ar. not that i have to explain my friendships here, but i quite literally do not have a group of people to “send after” anantaru because people are well aware of my close friends, who i text with my personal phone number. i’ve posted silly screenshots of convos on my blog multiple times, and none of these friends overlap because i do not have a “group” of friends, just individual friends who i talk to one on one. cat is not friends with my other friends, and my other friends are not friends with her. there are no inner circles that conspire together to send anyone hate because i “tell them to.” and if there are screenshots of me explicitly encouraging someone to send hate on anon, i would love to see it. if i had sent my anons after anantaru, it would have to be a public post, and i’m sure if there were a post of such nature, it would have been brought to light by now. they have also claimed they were given multiple urls of mine to block. i only have ONE writing blog, @/saetoru, and the only other two that are still up are archived blogs @/hanmine and @/katsuphilia, which are side blogs attached to saetoru and have been inactive for several months. there are however, multiple individuals on this app who also go by the name “tee,” and perhaps we have unfortunately been mixed up as the same person, but the only blog i have is saetoru, so there is no other active blog they have blocked me from that belonged to me and was able to harass them.

not only that, but anantaru has claimed that one person off anon sent them hate with a kaeya url which they insinuate to be me. once again, you are all more than aware of my history of urls, and many of you have all been here to see them. i’ve never once had a kaeya url, nor have i ever been particularly interested in kaeya outside of a small number of posts on a rare occasion. my genshin favorites have always been characters from sumeru and, at one point diluc, and once again i don’t have to ?? explain my selfships to you all ?? but literally, i have nothing to do with a kaeya blog or kaeya account, and im unsure why it’s being thrown into my name. quite frankly, i’m not sure what their moot has told them we have said about them, but the only conversations cat and i have ever had about anantaru was that one about the noncon joke, and that’s it. outside of that, there is literally no evidence of us speaking about this person because it simply doesn’t exist.

i implore you all to, instead of starting public discourse over things you hear, confirm them first. had anantaru reached out to me or cat and expressed that they are upset that we are supposedly spreading false rumors about them gatekeeping, then whatever misunderstanding it might have been could have been cleared. i would like to also point out that it is not above bullying when you simply dump numerous accusations that you have heard through half whispers from moots and provide 0 evidence for them. i am perfectly aware of why emmie may consider herself to have issues with me, but i have never had an encounter with anantaru, and truthfully, i’ve never actually even read their writing before. my main (and pretty much only) experience with them is seeing the joke i saw reblogged onto my dash, and as i stated earlier, the only thing i did for that was block and move one.

and lastly, the other point i’d like to make is that numerous blogs who i have been objectively very kind to have come out to take the opportunity to stomp on my character and reputation. for example, tumblr user @/osaemu, who used to follow me and interact with me quite often. i have always been excited to interact with her because she was really supportive of my gojo writing, and at one point, i had a small area of concern with her using the same exact title as me for a gojo fic. below are screenshots of our conversation regarding the titles.

i am quite confident that this is a very polite interaction, and i was very clear that i didn’t think that her writing elements, including gojo’s parent dynamics and his dynamics with the reader, were copied or even something that i felt she needed to change. i pointed them out as a way of indicating that between these parallels and between the fact that i know she reads my rb! gojo series, i find it difficult to believe that our fic titles being exactly the same is a coincidence, and it made me uncomfortable—my concern was not how she wrote gojo’s parents or his dynamic with reader. i never accused her of stealing ideas that were mine alone to use, all i simply wanted to do was shed light on the fact that based on these parallels, i figured the names being the same was a touch difficult for me to brush aside as a chance similarity. i was very clear to outline that i know these dynamics and themes in writing are generic, and that people can pull inspo from them because i have done the same thing. my only concern was the title, which i politely asked her to change, and she agreed. case closed. i have been, again objectively, quite kind to osaemu, and i had no intentions of blocking her like a moot had suggested because i felt it was a very silly issue to block over since she was very lovely to me.

i did, however, block her because she posted one-paragraph posts with multiple characters tagged. that’s not a crime on her end, and i’m certainly not here to police her posts in the tags, but as me and plenty of other people on this app have voiced multiple times, it is a bit irritating and feels like spam to see posts of these kinds in the tags so i blocked her. this is a very popular opinion and i refuse to be considered problematic for it. i am not here to police what constitutes an appropriate post to tag x reader tags on, and while i have made posts simply sharing my opinion on what i feel should and should not be tagged, osaemu is more than welcome to post whatever she feels she would like to into the tags. i do, however, block anyone who i come across who makes those kinds of posts because i simply don’t like them, and i don’t like seeing them. i don’t owe an explanation for why i block anyone, but seeing as i have been painted as some bitch for doing so, here is my reasoning. quite a lot of people agree on this sentiment, and to each their own, but i don’t enjoy seeing those posts. i did also unblock her at one point, as she mentioned. this is simply because a mutual of mine had voiced that they felt someone had copied the concept of their drabble, and i was helping them word a message to send, so i went back to this exact conversation to look back on what i said because it was a similar situation. as you know, blocking someone hides their dms from your dm list, so i had intended to temporarily unblock her just to see how i worded my message to help formulate a message for a mutual. there were no screenshots sent, i simply wanted to jog my memory of my points, that’s all. i did forget to block her again for a bit but eventually did, and that’s the extent of our interactions. i don’t recall posts telling people that i condone sending anons with death threats like she has claimed, and if she could point out the particular posts i have made where i encourage people to send anon death threats on my behalf, i would be more than happy to clear them up, or address them.

i have admittedly, on a few occasions said in my responses to anon hate itself, the phrase “kys” out of frustration, and there are i’m sure conflicting opinions on that, but i do not regularly use this phrase in my vocabulary. i have been on the receiving end of graphic sexual and violent asks in my inbox regarding me, my teenage sister, and my mother, during my time on here, and sometimes out of frustration i have said less than dignified things, but this is not a constant behavior, and frankly, i think once people make graphic, violent, and inappropriate comments about my 16 year old sister, saying “kys” in response is not the greater of the two evils. it is a tad bit hypocritical to expect benevolence from me to an anonymous hate ask just because there is “another person” at the end of the screen when they have not extended the same sentiment to me.

all of that being said, jumping on the trend to trample on someone while you have the opportunity to because you’re bitter they blocked you is also no better than bullying. apart from blocking osaemu, I have taken careful steps to always be respectful to her due to the very kind comments she’s left on my writing. leaving nice comments on my writing is deeply appreciated and welcome, but that doesn’t mean i have to subject myself to seeing posts i do not want to see on my dash on my phone. i pay for the phone bill, so i will cater my phone to show me what i want to see, and if that includes blocking a few people, i am allowed to do that !! i should not have to apologize for or be crucified for blocking someone and their feelings being hurt over it.

not only this, but several of you have somehow started a rumor that i am 26 or even pushing 30. that’s nowhere close to the truth. i’m 21, soon to be 22, and i have stated multiple times i am an undergraduate college student. of course, there is no timeline to college, and people of all ages complete their undergrad degrees, but i have made it a point to vent about my concerns numerous times that i am very stressed about taking extra classes every semester to compensate for changing my major late because i want to graduate on time. my graduation year is 2024 (as would make sense seeing as i will be 22 years old), and if you don’t believe me, i have celebrated my bday on april 12th of every year this blog has been active. you’re more than welcome to check my archive to see if that’s true, and for further reference, here is a picture i have sent to mods of servers i am in to be accepted. (note that my url used to be hanmas before saetoru.)

although there is no shame in being 26 or pushing 30, the reason why i wanted to address this is that i wanted to point out that yet another rumor has been fiercely pushed on my name and has been believed to be the truth. no one has to walk away from reading this post assuming that i’m a saint and i have never done anything wrong or that i have been faultless in differences i’ve had with other people. but a lot, if not all, of these claims are exaggerated with 0 evidence, and people have just run with claiming them as true. i physically cannot deny a large majority of these rumors with evidence or screenshots because half of them are made by people i have never interacted with or talked to, and i cannot produce evidence for interactions that never happened. i have seen blank, burner blogs post stories of their experiences with me, one in particular that claims i dm’d them to tell them their hanma fic was breathtaking before i harassed them about their theme, boyfriend, and parents. a) i do not dm anyone to compliment their fics because i am simply too shy to do that. i would have only reblogged the fic with comments if i enjoyed it. b) again, there is no evidence on their part, and i cannot dispel this story with evidence of my own because evidence of conversations that never took place does not exist. and c) i would like to think i do not come across as dense enough to attack someone in their dm’s viciously about their boyfriend and parents openly with my account, where they could easily spread the proof around if it had actually happened. i am not responsible for people’s internet literacy, and if people believe every story that is shared with not even a small piece of proof that it took place, i cannot do anything besides simply urge you all to formulate your opinions based on what you see, not based on what you hear.

i would also like to end things off with an apology to all of you—mainly because there was no reason for so many of you to be dragged into something that did not involve you and also because there are very disturbing and important issues going on right now in real-time in the world that are affecting a lot of people. i never want to be involved in something that takes attention off of important discussions such as genocide, and while many of you like to claim i am deflecting, i think it is quite telling that some people have posted nothing about something this important but have made multiple posts regarding discourse. i did not feel it was appropriate at that time to focus on discourse, and i still do not think so, but i wanted to leave off with my own statement.

i would also like to apologize if i have ever come across as unkind during an experience with me; it is never my intention to be that way purposely. i have a habit of being petty sometimes and can be a bit short-tempered, and it’s something i work on. with as large of a following as i have, sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all than say it—however vaguely it might be. i hope some of you who also have larger followings keep that in mind so that you can avoid discourse erupting into something grand scale. please vent to people you trust and be wary of having a habit to subpost. but mainly, please remember that people trusting you with their feelings and troubles is not something you should take pride in spreading. there is nothing to be proud of about sharing people's private socials, urls, and conversations. while i am not always able to keep my temper under wraps, and while i have had my fair share of petty moments, i, to the best of my ability, have always made sure that i don’t come across as intentionally cruel or mean, nor have i purposely broken someone’s trust. sometimes i have retaliated back a bit fiercely, but i stand by the fact that i never purposely chased or drove anyone off, mocked or belittled them, or sent people over to dislike/hate them. i have at times vented to those who i believe are people i can trust, sure—but this is something we as people are all guilty of. there’s no way any of us can hold one person more accountable than others for partaking in closeted conversations that are never meant to get back to people and hurt them.

i genuinely loved, and still love, writing very much, and i have always appreciated every ask, every reblog, and every comment. writing is a hobby i am greatly passionate about, and it’s always a hobby i was very excited to share with people on here because i don’t get to share it with people irl. i don’t willingly tell people irl that i enjoy making elaborate plots about anime characters, and i have always been very excited to share that hobby with you all, whether you are a reader or writer. i’ve read fanfiction for a very long time before i ever decided to try my hand at writing it, and i would never want to knock other people down simply because they “surpassed” me. i enjoy finding writers to read from, especially those who write better than me, because they are where i draw the most inspiration and motivation from. the moots i look up to most are moots who are in my opinion, far stronger writers than me, and moots who i always firmly believe deserve much more reach than i do on their stories because they’re far more fleshed out and in-depth than anything i can produce. and i am proud of them !! and even those of you who feel you are stuck not getting as much reach as you would hope, i am proud also of all of you for picking up a google doc or pen and writing and trying, whether you choose to share it or not. i will always strongly encourage you all to try your hand at writing if you have ever considered it because i have genuinely built such a better sense of self-esteem when being able to incorporate pieces of myself in my stories and express parts of who i am—i think some of you might really enjoy the catharsis that writing brings, and if you ever debate on trying it out, please do !! you might become really passionate about it.

anyway, this post is abysmally long. none of it is to clear my name in hopes that i will be “un-canceled” (LOL) because i have decided saetoru is long overdue to be put to rest. i hope you can all, at the very least, allow other writers some peace and stop harassing them in their inboxes for knowing me (because that is also bullying and very ironic of you), and i hope you all got some sort of understanding of where i am coming from. if you think poorly of me, that’s okay. i have an opinion of myself, and the close people who surround me, that i am confident in, and while i may not have always handled things in the brightest of manners, i am well aware of what my intentions have always been.

i’m deeply grateful to all 41k of you, and thank you for reading my works and allowing me to write for you !! thank you for all the very, very kind asks that i never got a chance to fully answer each one of, and thank you especially for all the supportive comments and love on the writing i’ve posted. they might be silly fics you read once and moved on from, but they’re all pieces of me, my life, and things that are important to me, and as cringe and cheesy as it sounds, it means quite literally everything to me when people read them and take away something from them.

also, as a parting gift, i will be posting the nerd gojo, ex-convict geto, and a marriage rb! gojo fic to my ao3 (also saetoru) for those of you who have been patiently awaiting those wips to enjoy. please (a little more patiently) keep your eyes peeled for those <3 i will no longer be posting or active on saetoru, and in the event that i keep writing, it will be posted on my ao3, so you all will know where to find me !!

so for the last time, i love you my little runts !! wishing you all the best, and goodbye to my lil saetoru bestees.

mwah !!

— tee <3

ps. i also have turned off reblogs for this post and limited replies to people i follow only. a lot of you will jump to say that it’s simply because i am “hiding,” but it is solely because i have said my piece and i intend to move on. thank you and have a lovely day shawtee ✌🏽

#thanks to all my mutuals who have reached out !! i love you all #and i will miss you tons !!

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xjustakay · 20 days

Text

✺ (4/5) ✺ @jegulus-microfic prompt: slap — 1,630 words (dad james and librarian regulus - flirting edition; pt.1)

It’s become a habit over the course of a couple of months.

James takes Harry to the library more than Lily does these days. It was a simple ‘the library is closer to my place anyway, no sense in going out of your way when you don’t have to, Lils’ that he’d offered as his reasoning. Of course, he knows Lily isn’t stupid. She likely sees right through him, but she’s yet to say anything or try to slap some sense into him, so he’s taking the small favor for what it is.

Harry, in all his six year old excitement to visit one of his favorite places, remains oblivious to there being any other intention to their trips to the library. And really, James is glad that he gets to do this with Harry —it’s not completely selfishly oriented that he suggests they go. Harry loves reading, loves exploring different fictional worlds on page, loves getting new books suggested or read to him when they’re there.

It’s just that, well. James is reaping some additional benefits, that’s all.

Except, they’re not exactly benefits, because while seeing Regulus is its own treat, the two of them still seem to be dancing in circles around each other. Some days James isn’t sure if he’s picking up on genuine signs or simply concocting them for himself —a story with a happy end that he’s telling himself in his head like the ones he reads to Harry before bed.

He feels a little crazy, admittedly, cataloging their interactions like it’s his job, like every little thing potentially means something. It’s like he’s got a schoolboy crush all over again at the age of twenty-seven. But if there’s one thing in this world that James Potter seems to be good at, it’s romanticizing that which may in the end mean very little.

Still, he’s got his list.

A story time in the children’s room one week where Regulus, in the middle of answering and asking questions of the kids about the book he’d read them, had stolen more than a couple glances James’ way at the back of the room. Days where grey eyes brightened upon looking away from greeting Harry to find that James was the one that brought him to the library that day. Questions about what James does for work and for fun, or what sort of thing James likes to read, followed by book recommendations.

James has also noticed, though, that every time he sees Regulus, as much as there’s something lingering there between the two of them, there’s something else, too.

Regulus always asks about Lily. Asks how she’s doing, what she’s been up to, if Harry read his most recent check-outs with her. There had even been a day where James and Harry had come up to the counter to check out Harry’s new selection of books and Regulus had pointed out that he’d held onto a book specifically for Lily, remembering she had been waiting a while for it to be available.

And sure, maybe it’s just that Regulus met Lily first, that he’s nice and is considering Harry’s mum even when she’s not there, but… Just as he’s over-thought every one of their own interactions, James can’t seem to help overthinking this, as well.

In a rather rare turn of events, James is at the library today without Harry. Harry’s at his mum’s, but he’d left his books at James’ place. A borderline distraught phone call had been received that morning, Harry lamenting ‘I can’t have overdue books, dad! I’ve never had overdue books!’ Lily doesn’t have time today to come pick them up and bring Harry to take care of them, so James had promised to turn them in for him.

It works out perfectly that when he enters with the few books tucked under his arm and approaches the front desk, Regulus is the one sitting there. One person is in line in front of James, but he notices how Regulus clocks him walk up behind the woman, an unhelped twitch at the corner of his mouth. He says a polite thank you and wishes a good day to her before it’s James’ turn.

Regulus tilts forward to peek over the edge of the high desk, his brow creasing. “Where is he?”

James lets out a quiet laugh. “So sorry that I’m not enough for you, Regulus.”

“Oh, shut up.” He rolls his eyes but James doesn’t miss the pretty pink color his cheeks turn even as he tries to distract from it by wiggling his fingers for the books James holds. “You just don’t usually come alone, that’s all.”

James hands over the books, his grin inching wider. “I can come alone more often if you want me to. Just say the word.”

Regulus huffs an unsteady laugh, cheeks reddening even more. He won’t meet James’ eye as he starts scanning book barcodes and entering return dates. It’s quiet for a few long moments, Regulus doing his job and avoiding James’ gaze while James continues watching him in fond amusement.

After the pause has gone on for a bit, Regulus ends up asking, “Is Lily no longer going to be bringing Harry in?”

Ah, there it is.

James sucks his teeth and shakes his head. “No, I’m sure she’ll be around again. She’s just—been a bit busy with work and such.”

“I see.” Regulus nods, glancing up from scanning a barcode to flicker his gaze over where James stands. “Well, at least Harry’s got you to bring him, right?”

“Right.” It comes out shorter than he meant it to, and Regulus notices if the arch of one dark brow is anything to go by. He doesn’t know why he says it, doesn’t know why the thought even crosses his mind, but before he can stop himself, James offers, “I can give you her number, if you’d like?”

Regulus slows in setting the returned books aside. “Why would I need Lily’s number?”

“I just—assumed you were interested.” James shifts from one foot to the other.

A comically confused expression twists up Regulus’ features. “In Lily?”

James blinks. “Um, yes?”

“You think I’m interested in Lily?” Regulus repeats; he looks less confused now, more as if he’s barely containing his own laughter.

“Well, you ask about her all the time!” James points out, a touch too loud —there’s a quiet shushing in warning from another librarian further down the desk that earns an apologetic look from him.

“James.” Regulus can’t seem to help laughing this time, has to press a hand over his mouth for a moment, eyes pinching closed and head shaking as he collects himself. When he’s done so, he clasps his hands together on the desk in front of him and meets James’ eye evenly. “Did you ever think, maybe, the reason I ask about what Lily’s up to and if she’ll be coming around again is because when she doesn’t, it means that you do?”

It’s James’ turn to look confused, a disbelieving huff coming out of his mouth. “And you didn’t think to, I don’t know, just tell me that you like seeing me?”

“I could have, I suppose.” Regulus leans back in his swivel chair, arms crossing over his chest. The corner of his mouth ticks upward, eyes shining with mirth. “But you were already being so painfully obvious, I thought at least one of us should be a little more subtle.”

James manages to make an affronted noise, but it’s almost more startled laugh than actual offense. “You’re fucking with me right now.”

“Language, mister Potter.” (James is decidedly not blushing at the joking admonishment, thank you.) “This is a family friendly establishment.”

He lifts his hands in mock surrender, grin stretching wide across his face. Regulus eyes him for a moment, drumming his fingers against the bend of one elbow.

“Well, now that we’ve cleared that up—”

“Have we?” James snorts.

“I’m not interested in Lily, you’ve been hopelessly interested in me from day one. I think we’re clear,” Regulus confirms.

Hazel eyes narrow in playful challenge. “You’re just as interested in me, too, don’t forget that.”

An absent hum. A tilt of his head. “And what are you going to do about it?”

It’s an excellent question, James wasn’t prepared to get this far today. He wasn’t totally positive he’d ever get this far, if he’s honest. Now that opportunity has arisen, however, he’s not foolish enough to waste it.

“What are you doing Saturday night?” He asks, leaning his forearms against the edge of the desk.

“I don’t know. Where are you taking me?” Regulus quips, dark brows lifting.

“I think I’ll keep it a surprise. Can’t be too obvious now, can I?” James toys.

Rolling his lips together barely hides Regulus’ growing smile. He hums once again, nodding in agreement. James thinks that’s it, that they’ll say goodbyes for now and go the next few days in building anticipation for an awaiting first date. Except, Regulus holds up a finger to tell him to wait and wordlessly slides off his chair to go to one of the shelves behind him used for reserved books.

When he turns back around, he drops another of the Magic Treehouse books Harry’s been so invested in as of late onto the counter with a quiet slap. James glances at it then at Regulus again with an incredulous smile.

“It’s the next one in the series for Harry. We only have one copy on hand. I didn’t want him to not be able to get it when he brought his returns in,” Regulus explains.

“No wonder he likes you so much, you spoil him,” James teases.

Regulus smirks and, without missing a beat, he replies, “And what’s your excuse?”

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #andddd part 2 the end -jazz hands-#little shit regulus my beloved #have i mentioned that i love them?#kay’s microfics #kay’s writing

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 months

Text

Got Me Thinking

Part 4: If Your Girl Only Knew (Slight NSFW)

Synopsis: Jack invites you to one of his shows, and everyone is excited to see you, especially him. However, he had to warn you that the time had finally come for meeting the infamous Kelsey face to face.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Series Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Ever since that lust filled night when Jack came to visit, you were longing to see him again and be in his presence. During different times of the day, your thoughts would go back to that moment and how much pleasure he had brought you. So much that in more times than you could count, you found yourself having a river form in between your thighs and often found yourself putting your vibrator to good use. That would have to do at least until you saw him again.

Luckily a few weeks later, an opportunity arose when he called you on Facetime and asked you if you would want to come to one of his shows. Surprisingly, you hadn’t seen him perform since the two of you called it quits and thought it was long overdue.

You had kept tabs on him throughout the years and still supported him, but you simply did it from a distance.

“You busy this Friday?” He asked and all you did was eye him.

“Depends on who’s asking.” You answered while eating your chocolate covered strawberries that was from an edible arrangement that Jack had sent to your house earlier.

“Well I’m asking because I have a show I’m performing at in L.A. and I want you there with me.”

“Hmm, I guess I can fit you in my schedule.”

“What do you mean you guess? Stop acting like you don’t want my face buried between your thighs again. And I definitely want to be one of those strawberries right now. Why are you eating it like that? Getting me bricked up and shit.”

“Jackman! Cut it out, he’s downstairs.” You exclaimed while getting up to close your bedroom door.

“Like I give a flying fuck about that. He doesn’t deserve you anyway. Don’t act shy now, or did you forget what happened last night when I called you?”

You instantly got a smirk on your face remembering how Jack asked you to get off in front of him and all you remember was the camera view becoming blurry as he hit his peak and his cum went flying everywhere as he watched you.

“I see your phone survived what you put it through.”

“Look, it was your fault and I’d do it again too with no hesitation.”

“I know you would.”

Jack then got quiet and you looked at him curiously wondering what was on his mind.

“Jackson, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?”

He simply sighed before answering you.

“Kelsey is going to be there too.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Jack, that’s your wife isn’t it? I would expect her to be with you sometimes.”

“Yes, but….”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll play nice and be on my best behavior and I might give you a private show once you’re done with your own.”

“Oh, do tell.”

“Nope, you just have to be patient and wait and see. But, why am I worried about someone that clearly can’t give you what you want or satisfy you? From what everyone says about her, she obviously doesn’t compare to me.”

“Doesn’t even come close.”

“Isn’t it almost two in the morning over there? And where is she now?”

“It is and I have no idea where the hell she is and I don’t care. Probably out spending all my got damn money.”

You stifled a laugh and he simply shook his head.

“Well Clay does call her the wicked witch of the west for a reason.”

“And now I’ve really started to see why over the last two months.”

“We’ll talk about it later, but for right now you need to go to sleep and get all the rest you can get for Friday.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

“Because you’ll have two performances to put on. One for your fans and the other one is for my eyes only. How do you think Kelsey would feel if we had a few minutes to ourselves after the show?”

“I can arrange it and make it happen and she can get the fuck over it.”

Friday was now here and you were on your way to the venue and made sure to leave a bit early so that being stuck in traffic wouldn’t become an issue. As you were driving, a facetime call came through and you saw it was Clay and quickly answered. You were now suddenly concerned and was hoping that everything was okay with Jack.

“Clay! Hi boo, what’s going on? Everything okay?”

“Please tell me you’re still coming, but hi to you too!”

“What the? What’s wrong?”

“Jack is in a mood again and you can guess why because there is literally only one answer at this point.”

“Oh, goodness.”

“I wish she would have stayed home but NOPE. So here we are and everyone is miserable so PLEASE tell me that you’re almost here. I don’t know how much more of her we can take.”

“Of course I’m still coming and I’m actually almost there. I left a little early because I knew traffic was going to be crazy.”

Just then Urban popped into the frame and was waving at you.

“Y/N!”

“URBANNN!”

“Hurry up and get your ass here. I’ll meet you outside and bring you to where everyone is. But uh, did he warn you about….?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Okay good. Didn’t want you walking into any surprises.”

“I’ll see you two in about ten minutes.” Without another word, you hung up and turned your attention back to the road ahead.

As promised, Urban met you outside and led you backstage where everyone was. As soon as you walked in the room, all attention was on you and Clay was the first one to capture you in a hug.

“We’re saved, we’re saved.” He whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh. When you looked over at Urban, he was laughing too so he obviously must have heard what Clay said.

“Y/N! Clay, move and stop hogging her!” Ace exclaimed while trying to get in between the two of you.

“Hiii Ace.”

“Hello, Y/N, and we need to talk business. As in business being your older sister.”

“ACE!! Leave the girl alone! She just got here! At least let her settle in before you start harassing her! Hi Y/N, I’m Neelam and I’ve heard such good things about you from Jack. It’s so nice to finally meet you.” So, this was the famous Neelam that everyone talked about.

“It’s so nice to meet you too!” You responded while returning the hug that she was giving you.

You scanned the room and didn’t see Jack or Kelsey so you assumed that they were together and sure enough right on cue, they both entered. Jack was walking in front of her and clearly pissed off about something as she was following behind him like a lost puppy and there was an obvious pout on her face.

“Babe!”

“Kelsey, drop it. I’m done talking about it.”

When Jack looked up and saw you, his grim mood turned the corner for the better and immediately ran over to you and picked you up as you began to laugh.

“Hiii boo. I see you’ve missed me.”

“You have NO idea.” He said loud enough so that only you could hear and squeezed you tighter.

“When you left, I lost a part of me. It’s still so hard to believe, come back baby please cause weeee belong togetherrrr.” Clay started to sing when the two of you embraced and it was giving everyone in the entire room the hardest time in order not to laugh.

“I just love Mariah Carey. One of my favorites. Yall think she’s going to do a Vegas residency soon?” Clay asked as he was scrolling through his phone.

“I’d definitely come with you if she does.” Urban responded while shrugging and Neelam was eyeing the two of them.

She quickly mouthed ‘Behave’ while trying not to laugh herself.

Once Jack had placed you back on your feet, you suddenly felt a presence next to you and turned around to be face to face with Kelsey herself.

“Babe, who’s this?” She asked Jack and he clearly looked annoyed at the fact that she was even talking to him.

“Y/N, this is Kelsey, Kelsey this is Y/N, we went to high school together. She lives here and I asked her to come.” He answered while not taking his eyes off of you and his left arm was still around your waist which she was quick to notice.

“It’s so nice to meet you.” You said as you held your hand out towards her, but she examined it before she took it.

“Oh, someone’s jealous.” Clay whispered to Urban and he immediately nodded.

“I didn’t realize you two were so close and had no idea you would be here tonight. I feel that is something important that you should tell your wife, don’t you think, Jackman?”

“Here she goes.” Clay quietly said while keeping his focus on his phone.

“They’ve been a lot closer than she thinks.” Urban muttered next to Clay and they both began to laugh.

“Kelsey, don’t start. So I have to tell you about every single person that I went to high school with and decided to reconnect with them?”

“I didn’t even mean it like that.”

“Well it sounds like you did.”

“Damn, 100 points to Gryffindor. He got her good with that one.” Ace said from behind you as you were simply standing there because it was now awkward.

Kelsey then turned back to you and gave you the fakest smile that she could muster. There was something about you that she couldn’t put her finger on, but she already knew for a fact she didn’t like you.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N.”

“Okay, is she settled in now Neelam? Y/N! Let me at Janelle!” Ace said as he was now at the snack table and all you did was shake your head at him.

The time waiting for Jack’s set was spent with you goofing around with everyone backstage and getting to do a mini photoshoot in the hallway with Urban taking the pictures in order for you to be able to post them on your instagram later.

When you were across the room talking to 2fo with Jack right beside you, Kelsey went and sat next to Clay who had a confused look on his face when he noticed her.

“Uhh? Did you need something Kelsey?” He politely asked as he was silently cursing Urban for leaving him there by himself.

“How does Jack know her?”

“He told you earlier. They went to high school together. Didn’t you hear him?

“And they were just friends?” She asked, trying to find out more information about you.

“Don’t you think that this is a conversation for you and your husband to have?” Clay asked while finally turning to look at her.

“He doesn’t want to tell me anything anymore.”

“Hmm, I wonder why. Evil ass.” Clay muttered to himself so that she wouldn’t be able to hear.

“You still need to ask him and not me.”

“Is there…. Is there something I should be worried about?”

“Meaning what exactly?”

“Jack hasn’t taken his eyes off of her since he saw her when she got here.”

“Well.. they haven’t seen each other in a long time and they were really close.”

“How close?”

“Kelsey, ask my brother.”

“But obviously you know something, but aren’t telling me.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re a little jealous? You’re the wife, right? So you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

“I’m not jealous! It just seems like everyone adores her and all of the attention has been on her.”

“She’s an amazing person. Always has been. Our parents absolutely love her too.”

“Wait, she knows your parents, too?!”

“Like I said before, they were extremely close.”

Soon there was only about twenty more minutes until it was time for Jack to go on stage and you wanted to give him a small gift since you still hadn’t gotten him anything for his birthday. You knew deep down that he didn’t care and was simply excited to see you, but you still wanted to do something nice for him. As he was about to head to his dressing room, you grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Hey, I have something to give you, but I want it to be when we’re by ourselves.”

“Hmm, is it what I think it is?” He asked as he wiggled his eyebrows and you quickly smacked his arm.

“Behave! And no, but… if we can make our way to your dressing room now, I can give you a good luck kiss and maybe a little more?”

All he did was smirk and start to play with the ends of your hair which Kelsey was very quick to notice and was quick to interrupt.

“Babe, isn’t it time for your good luck kiss since you’re about to hit the stage?”

“Gag me with a spoon.” Quiiso said to 2fo who was trying not to laugh.

“Um, sure in a minute. Let me go get dressed first. And Y/N had something to show me so we’ll be back.”

He put his hand on the small of your back and guided you down the hallway to his dressing room as Kelsey was left sitting there fuming at what just happened.

Once the two of you got to his dressing room, he closed the door behind him and locked it then his lips were instantly on yours.

“Mm, I’ve missed that and this.” He said as his hand went to cup your ass in the skirt that you were wearing.

“You definitely made that clear on our facetime call earlier this week.”

“So, what did you want to give to me? Is it another purple thong? Because at this point I’m about to start collecting them like infinity stones.”

“I literally CANNOT with your ass.” You said while laughing and Jack pulled you closer to him so that he was able to kiss you once more.

“Look, I figured I’d ask and when I collected all of them it would unlock some type of bonus scene.”

“Jackson PLEASE stop talking.” You responded as you continued to laugh.

“What?! What’d I say?!”

“Anyway, for starters, it’s not a thong because I’m not wearing anything under my outfit at all.” You whispered against his lips and grabbed his hand to place it underneath your skirt.

His fingers grazed against your core and you were getting wetter by the second. He then inserted two of his fingers and slowly moved them before putting them in his mouth and sucking on them. Just like he did the last time the two of you saw each other.

“There’s definitely more where that came from, but we have to save it for later.” He quietly said, but all you did was get on your knees without breaking eye contact with him and started playing with the waistband of his sweatpants.

“You definitely don’t need a good luck kiss from Kelsey, but will good luck head be acceptable?”

All he did was nod his head as you pulled down his sweatpants and boxer briefs and immediately took him in your mouth.

“Ahh shit.”

Jack didn’t want to mess up your hair so he simply pushed it back out of your face as you continued to pleasure him.

“I’m definitely going to need you to sit on my face after this later. FUCK!”

Because you knew that he didn’t have a lot of time, you were trying to move as fast as possible in order to get him to cum and you could tell that it was working seeing as Jack’s eyes were now closed as he threw his head back in pleasure and was trying to lightly force you down on him.

“My girl looks so pretty taking all of me in her mouth. That’s it baby, that’s it. I’m close.”

You hearing him say that he was close made you move even quicker with a sense of urgency because the last thing you wanted was for him to be late for his set.

“Fuck!” Was the last thing you heard as he came in your mouth and you swallowed it without wasting a drop.

When he was finished coming down from his high, he looked down at you and smiled before helping you to your feet and kissing you.

“I want to return the favor.”

“But… we don’t have a lot of time.”

“We have as much time as I say we have. I’m the headliner and calling the damn shots.” Was all he said before leading you to the couch and immediately pulling your shirt down to expose your breasts that he began to play with them, lightly sucking and biting.

“Babe, that’s going to leave a mark.” You whined and he simply shrugged.

“I’m marking my territory.”

He didn’t waste a lot of time before pulling your skirt up to your hips, spreading your legs and diving in head first.

By the time that Jack had gotten dressed and you had given him his gift, which was an exclusive Rolex that was personalized and had his initials on the band inside, he was only a minute late.

“I’m definitely wearing this onstage. Thank you Buttercup.” He said as he leaned down to kiss you and you were simply admiring his outfit as you helped him put on the watch.

His outfit was your favorite color.

Green.

“Hmm, you wore this outfit on purpose, didn’t you?” You asked and all he did was smirk.

“What ever do you mean, baby?”

“Such a fucking tease.”

—

As you were in the front and standing off to the side watching Jack perform, Neelam came up to you and smiled. You returned the smile and the two of you watched him in silence before she turned back to you to say something.

“Y/N, I just wanted to tell you how much the people around him see how much happier he’s been since you two reconnected.”

“Well you can thank Clay for that.” You said thinking about when he first asked you.

“I.. look.. Jack is not only my client, but someone who I consider my little brother. He has talked about you non-stop and all I want is for him to be happy and I know that his happiness is wherever you are. Kelsey isn’t good for him and we could all see it from the beginning. He just didn’t want to listen. ”She said, being completely honest.

“That seems to be the running theme of what everyone keeps telling me. He’s definitely important to me and I want the best for him. I just wish sometimes that we never broke up because I always think about how our life might have turned out differently.”

“Well the two of you reconnecting wasn’t by chance and it was definitely meant to happen. I just want you to know that whatever that you two have going on because I know that there is something there because my big sister radar is going off, I support it. I just want him to be happy again. That’s all we literally all want.”

“I wish it was that simple.” You replied while sighing.

“Well, why isn’t it?”

“You said Jack told you a lot about me, but did he mention my husband?”

Neelam looked at you dumbfounded before she responded.

“You act like the word divorce doesn’t exist?”

“And that’s my problem.”

“What is?”

“I love Jack like if he would have asked me to elope when we were eighteen, I would have without a second thought and that is still true as we speak, but I also love my husband as fucked up of a person that he is and I’m having second thoughts about divorcing him.”

Liked by urbanwyatt, jackharlow, neelamthadhani, claybornharlow, thenursecorner, and 450,831 others

anesthesiabae: friends supporting friends

jackharlow love you forever and I will always be proud of you 💖

jackharlow: so happy you came tonight, thank you 😘 claybornharlow: reunited and it feels so good yungskylark: aye! y/n lemme get Janelle's number!!! anesthesiabae: jackharlow any time you need me, I'm here urbanwyatt: mariah carey- anytime you need a friend jackharlow: anesthesiabae so this means I can ask for my hoodie back now right? anesthesiabae: ACE... NO! and jackharlow if I didn't give it back and 12 years have now passed, what makes you think that you'll get it at all? jackharlow: anesthesiabae closed mouths don't get fed, now do they? neelamthadhani: so happy that I finally got to meet you! jackharlowsource: oohh she's pretty! jackharlow spill! who is this pretty lady?!

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow smut #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concept #jackman thomas harlow #jackman harlow

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rogueddie · 3 months

Text

Famous Steddie Au Recs

Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 📸

Help I'm Alive

ChaoGarden

Eddie reached a hand out and gently tucked his fingers under Steve’s chin, tilting it upwards and turning Steve’s face just a little to the side as he observed something on Steve’s face with a look of intense speculation. Steve couldn’t say for certain, but there was almost a tiny bit of anger there just along the edges, like he was stifling away anger at whatever it was that he was looking at.

Surely he wasn’t looking at the-

“Somebody put their hands on you, sugar?”

Words : 65,581 Chapters : 9/9 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

Somebody To You

tears_for_years

@ bisexual_disaster: i would let eddie munson make me bark like a dog

Words : 4,714 Chapters : 3/3 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

you smile that beautiful smile and all the girls in the front row scream your name.

antithetical_dreamgirl

Eddie has three major rules when it comes to working with celebrities: 1. don’t flirt with the talent; 2. don’t hang out with the talent; 3. don’t, under any circumstances, fuck the talent.

He’s had enough rockstars’ managers kick him out of hotel rooms after waking up to an empty bed with cold sheets to have learned his lesson ten times over by now.

He doesn’t even think of adding a fourth rule: don’t fall in love with the talent. Has never even come close to needing a rule like that. Not until he meets Steve Harrington.

Words : 4,510 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Consensual Catfishing

foresthearts

When Eddie gets a message on instagram from an account claiming to be the famous pop-star Steve Harrington, he knows immediately it's a catfish. He's not dumb. The account has no pictures and people like Steve Harrington don't just randomly DM guys like Eddie.

Still. What would be the harm in letting it play out? It's not dangerous if he knows he's being catfished. No, if he knows about it, then it's basically like a fun little roleplay. No harm, no foul.

Words : 32,108 Chapters : 4/4 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

abstract

a_little_unsteddie

The break-up had been messy, and long overdue by the time it happened; Eddie had spent the better part of two years avoiding everything in the news including Steve's name, half convinced that Steve hadn't ever loved him at all. So, why was Chrissy sending him an interview that Steve had done at some talk show?

Words : 1,107 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

the night breeze carries something sweet

asbealthgn

Eddie is used to getting recognized in public, but it doesn’t mean he likes it.

That is, until the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life sits in the seat next to him, unfurling a giant map that easily shields both of them. Eddie’s fucking savior.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know how to get to Japantown, would you?” the guy asks.

Words : 4,898 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

Your Life, Framed on the Wall

orphan_account

A scrapbook of interviews and articles following Eddie Munson’s rise to fame as the frontman of Corroded Coffin, and his relationship with one Steve Harrington.

Words : 9,379 Chapters : 9/9 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Make Them Feel It

camouflagedlove

Steve Harrington has acted in many romance movies over the years but finds himself yearning for that same kind of love in real life. He struggles to make those connections but feelings start to boil up for him when his co-star, Eddie Munson, wants to rehearse the love confession scene from their movie. It's just a scene...isn't it?

Words : 2,835 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

We're Going The Distance

stevelovers

Steve doesn't know where Dustin got this little idol crush. After seeing world famous Olympic Gold Medalist “Medal” Munson- a geek who has set world records in snowboarding, he begs Steve to take him and the kids to watch him compete in an amateur charity tournament at Mad River Mountain’s Mad Dog snow race. Too bad he's a complete asshole.

Words : 14,732 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

i'll find my soul as i go home

oakenorcrist

Eddie Munson has had a rough go of it -- broken-hearted and uninspired, he decides to leave everything behind in San Francisco and spend some time with his uncle in a small town in the mountains. Little does he know that there he will find not only the peace and rest he's so desperately needed but also everything he never knew was missing from his life up until this moment.

Words : 31,868 Chapters : 5/5 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #fic rec #ficrec

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haechvn · 1 year

Text

Stop Trying

Pairing: Shuri x F!Reader

Warning: Prepare to get your heart ripped out. Shuri did. The angstiest angst I feel like I’ve ever written.

Word Count: 1.5k+

Summary/Request: Shuri and reader getting into an argument cuz Shuri has been in the lab for a while (2 or 4 days idk) angst ending please

Author’s Note: I wrote this on the plane back from Thanksgiving. I did something like this before but this is more realistic to me and we need Shuri to be held accountable for her actions. The reader is always black in my head y’all. Part 2 is here! Enjoy!!

Taglist: @melodykisses @blackhottie25 @tonakings @coalmistyy @szalipcombo @prettyluhlaiiii @yelenabelovasgf @callmeoncette @clqrosmgc @beautybyfire @theblacksuccubus @cherios @killmongerskeeper @shuris-whore @nut4shuri

“My love. Please reconsider this,” Shuri whispered, hands desperately reaching to grab onto yours with every step you took back. Her shoulders fall when she sees how easily you start to reject her, her body unfamiliar with such obscene behavior. She had never fathomed that there would be a time that you’d ever resist her touch. “Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I need from you.”

It had become less lonely but more disrespectful at this point. Sure, Queen Shuri has many responsibilities since taking on the title as the new sovereign leader of Wakanda but that does not excuse her from halting communication with her partner. The two of you have been together for the last three years so you are overdue an explanation as to why your partner has not answered any calls or text messages. She never even reached out to you once.

Upon discovering from Okoye that it was simply due to her being glued to her science work and her desk in her lab, you decided enough was enough. You are Shuri’s number one cheerleader and you have been since the day you met. Never once did you overstep her boundaries and all you always wanted to make sure she felt heard and seen especially when it comes to her work. But for her to have put her technological achievements over the precious bond the two of you have built, something needs to be done. You didn’t like where your mind went.

It started when she missed dinner with you. Aneka would always try to assure you that “Nothing is wrong my Queen. The Queen will be back soon. Please don’t worry. This too shall pass.”

You continued to find yourself on your own in the excruciatingly large dining hall, eating in silence and scraping your utensils on your plate in annoyance. The Dora had been more present in your life recently than your own lover.

Then one dinner became four and then slowly turned into lonely, sleepless nights. On the fourth night, you found yourself imagining what it felt like to have her arms around you again, lips caressing your collarbone and fingers dipping languidly into your cunt. Then you snapped out of it. As two grown and fully functioning women, there is no reason why Shuri could not have just sent you a quick message to let you know her whereabouts. Constantly reaching out and receiving nothing in return to only stop by her office and find it empty triggered thoughts in your mind you have never had for the entirety of your relationship. Separation. Moving forward without her.

You aren’t some insecure little girl who is going to put up with her time being wasted and have it thrown to the back burner. You are a woman of grace, poise and elegance but you are also a woman with sense and self-respect. Thoughts of infidelity never crossed your mind as you knew Shuri adored you too much to behave in that way but she clearly didn’t adore you enough if giving you radio silence for the third time in a row was something she didn’t mind serving you.

And that’s what lead to Shuri kneeling down in front of you, hands shaking with tears pouring out of her eyes as she tried to come to terms with what you were insinuating. Take a break? Breakup? This is one equation that she can’t seem to find the solution for. Her heart felt as though it would implode on itself as she tried to steady her breathing with no avail. Her mind never anticipated that the more she worked on her scientific experiments, the results would lead her to neglecting to put you first. Her Queen.

Everything she does is for the goodness of you and your well-being but none of that matters if she couldn’t even find herself to appreciate what was standing right in front of her.

“Shuri,” you called, knowing that referring to her by her first name brings nothing but discomfort and hurt to her heart,”How long will this go on for? When you were planning on returning to me? We can’t keep playing this—“

“You… you never had a problem with this before. W-with me working long hours and I don’t—-“

“That was before when you actually communicated with me. Your partner. Now,” you seethe, nose flaring and eyebrows creasing in annoyance, ”you just decide when it’s convenient for you to show up in my life. We are not young, dumb and in love anymore Shuri!” Your blood was boiling and the pent up anger was taking control of your words instead of your logical mind.

“How long do we need to be together for you to know this type of behavior will not fly with me?! If I had spent even one day not letting you know where I am or what I was doing, you would literally shut down the entire country just to find me.”

She knew you were right. Every word spilling from your beautiful lips she craved to feel on hers was correct. Yes, the world needs her technological advancements and efforts but what happened to you being her world? When did that change? It’s not as if she was burying herself in work due to grief. She had always been able to open up to you and visit her therapist when it all became too much to bare but this. She had no explanation whatsoever.

That’s why her vision was blurred beyond measure. Her purpose wants to leave her. You want to leave her and she can hardly even find the words to comfort you the way she knows you deserve.

Shaking the tresses of curls that lay on the top of her head, she began to slowly crawl on her knees towards you again, having repeated this action about five times already. The only thing her mind told her to do was to hold her, knowing that that is what she longed for and that would may make you melt. She forced her head onto your lower stomach with her arms wrapped so tightly around the back of your legs, body vibrating and unable to stay still as heavy sobs racked through her chest. All she could do was cry. The very last thing that has been keeping her sane in the midst of her crazy life— no. She cannot lose you.

Though your words and tone was sharper than her panther claws, you stood your ground. You value yourself too much to deal with this sort of nonsense, even if it was from the fellow Queen of Wakanda.

“Shuri, I’m tired. I’m tired of your lack of empathy for how I feel. I’m tired of having to have these conversations over and over again with you and most importantly,” you ran your hand through her hair grasping on it harshly, causing Shuri to whimper at the sudden feeling of discomfort. You forced her head up so she could see the hurt in your eyes, with yours being met with bloodshot irises and rivers of tears flowing down her face.

“I am tired of you. Get off of me right now. We are done.” You lowly growled, using all your might to push her away from you, sending her backwards and landing on her backside.

Her eyes widen, arms stretched out on the sides of her body with her mouth ajar in disbelief. The way you used those sweet lips to dismiss her like she was nothing. Ironically, that’s what she loved about you. She adored how you always put yourself first in every situation because you had a strong belief that if you weren’t at peace and things didn’t serve you, it is your responsibility for you to cut them out for your well-being.

She’s being cut out. I’m being cut out. I’m being cut out. I’m being cut—

You spun on your heels, exhausted from this exchange with your now ex partner, exiting her lab before slamming your kimoyo bead bracelet and kiyomo engagement ring to the ground. Using all of your might, you found yourself jumping in the air just to crashing down on the pieces of jewelry, both under your shoes and wanting nothing more to do with Shuri or any of the technology she held above you.

“Don’t you dare reach out to me or try to find me. I already changed my number.” And with that, you disappeared from the lab.

Silence suffocated the room. All of the oxygen had been sucked out of the lab the moment you slammed the door shut. Shuri’s eyes hadn’t left the reminants of the destroyed handcrafted jewelry she’d made for you two anniversaries ago. Her heart resembled the broken shards of material that laid before her. She grabbed a fistful of her top where her heart lays beneath the cloth and let out a blood curdling cry. She screamed and cried. Over and over. Begged you to come back. Spoke to the ghost of you that remained in the room with her. She felt as though she shed more tears now than when her mother passed, with past memories of the two of you littering her mind at the most agonizing moment of her life.

“I’m alone,” she whispered to herself, barely able to get the words out and not believing any of the events that occurred mere seconds ago, “I’m all alone once again.”

#shuri x reader #black panther x reader #shuri imagine #shuri angst #shuri x f!reader #shuri x black!reader #Shuri Udaku x reader #shuri x fem!reader #shuri x you #black panther imagine #marvel imagine #shuri smut #black panther smut #shuri black panther #shuri x y/n #shuri fluff

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moodymisty · 1 month

Text

𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝕺𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝕸𝖊

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙| 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Part 1 of 5 - Part 2

Author's Note: It's here! The first chapter of the Yandere Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere Night Lord love triangle(corner) fic! It's going to be 4 chapters (5 actually you'll see tehe) and I drafted a good portion of it in advance so it should be smooth posting? We'll see. Enjoy!

Summary: A Night Lord becomes interested in you while you stand under the eyes of your Salamander guardian, and you find yourself stuck between two titans.

Relationship: Yandere!Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere!Night Lord

Warnings: Hints of nsfw at points, Yandere, Size differences, Very toxic suffocating relationship(s), Some knight/princess dynamics, Demeaning language, Both these guys have hero complexes, Violence blood and bruises and possibly death to say without spoilers

Word Count: 2068

Word travels fast aboard even the largest of ships, you had learned quite quickly.

Space marine legions are not fond of working with one another, was what you had learned first. Many times even different squads within this same Legion can butt heads, as different styles of commanding and battle conflict with one other. Salamanders often try and remain cordial when problems within them arise, but friction was and is inevitable.

The second, was Vulkan was apparently quite firm with his legion that they were to welcome their temporary allies with respect. At least that is what you’ve heard from any Salamander that you’ve heard mumbling as you pass by, or any that have given you a moment of their time. That’s all you know, and these tidbits of knowledge fail to put together a full picture that you can understand. Their lips have been quite tight other than the bare minimum they believe you need to know.

Or what you can get from them if you ask very nicely; Much like the Commissars and Lords you've dealt with over the years, it seems Salamanders aren't immune to a bit of flattery also. You just need to make sure he doesn't find out, as you know how displeased he gets whenever he finds out you went wandering around chattering with his brothers.

Speaking of...

You can ask him about it; You just need to wait for him.

He always visits you in the librarium, once his second round of training is concluded. He then goes for his five hours of rest, and the cycle restarts. Though even if it isn't that time, you know he still keeps a keen eye on you.

You don’t wish to bother him with an issue as seemingly meaningless as gossip, but none of your fellows have been able to piece together what's happening, as none of the Salamanders have loosened their lips about it in the slightest.

It's made you more than a bit unnerved; Knowing that something is wrong but no one will tell you what it is. The tenseness in your neck is worse, and sirens and calls once normal now make you jolt when they sound off.

The large piece of parchment in front of you remains nearly empty, apart from the crude outline. Commander Artellus's face is fresh in your mind, but you for some reason can't put it to parchment.

You hear the sound of harsh, heavy boots on the ground, and turn to see who you've been waiting for coming towards you. You shift in your seat and turn to see him coming.

“Ralkan; You’re back,”

You smile wide at him, a put down the pen you'd been fruitlessly trying to use. The way his eyes look down at you is warm, his helmet hanging on the side of his hip. He stands close to where you sit alone at the massive table, covered in a mess of materials. The ink in your well shakes with waves, when he steps closer.

“You should have been there this time. I feel like I'm missing something now without your curious looks.”

You smile even wider and laugh, remembering the time. He had outpreformed Salamanders his senior, and you wondered if he was overdue for an ascension in rank, or if he was simply showing off.

“I'll come next time. As long as your battle brothers don’t mind me seeing your training again.”

He places a massive gauntlet on your shoulderblades, thumb against the side of your neck.

"They won't, I am sure of it. Though I hope you'll reserve your cheering only for me again."

His hand brushes along the upper half of your back before it slides away, his chainsword hanging neatly on his back. He looks out the massive window to the vast reaches of space directly in front of your makeshift desk for a moment, before pulling his bolter off his thigh and checking it.

He’s always meticulous. He’s been trained into flawless discipline, and it shows in every aspect of his existence. From the way he keeps his thoughts closed to the way each piece of armor and each weapon must be meticulously maintained.

You can hear the mechanics of his armor shift as he moves, but you can only tolerate few more beats of the near silence before you can’t help it anymore. Your pen twirls in your hand as a soothing gesture before you speak up.

“Ralkan?”

You look up to him, sniffling from the disturbed dust in your nose. He turns to look at you as you abandon your parchment, and finally put pen down and place your ink stained hands in your lap.

You hesitate for a moment, pursing your lips and looking away from his hard gaze as he turns back to you.

“What is happening?”

He is genuinely confused by your question for a moment, before he realizes what it is you're asking about, and his face stiffens. But still he doesn't answer. It irks you; Thinking that he’s trying to keep this all from you. You add on to your earlier question.

“I know that you are going to be fighting alongside another legion, but why are all of you acting like it's something you're all dreading?”

Perhaps you might simply be a guest aboard this ship, gifted from Terra to a legion eager to put their deeds to written memory, but you wish to know more than the servitors do. You pull your hands from your lap and lightly slap the table with them, gripping the edge.

“Ralkan, Who are the Night Lords?”

It is so instantly apparent that you struck something in him, as his body visibly tenses and his face briefly flashes with anger as a legion's name other than his own leaves your tongue.

He makes eye contact with you, the burning red of his eyes making your curiosity waver. But you still want to know- need to know. He takes a step closer, and his left hand rests against the surface of the table. He lets out a tense breath.

“The Night Lords are the 8th legion. They," Ralkan tries to find the words, pausing for a moment. "The way they wage battle is in near direct opposition to us Salamanders."

He speaks the name with a stern, cold demeanor. It fills you with a hesitant sort of interest.

These legions; Have they really developed cultures so unique that they find themselves unrecognizable to each other?

“They have no respect. They will cull entire cities for the slightest infraction.” He looks to you, and he catches that your curiosity it still taking hold; You lack the fear that he's trying to instill in you.

He takes a step forward, and you can hear his armor hiss and grind as he lowers to a knee, now only a head taller than you as you sit. He puts his hand on your shoulder again, but it lacks the gentleness it had the last time, as he grabs tight and forces you to face him. You wouldn’t be able to pull away even if you wanted to; And while he is still trying to be gentle, his gauntlet still yearns to bruise your skin underneath your clothing. The seams of his armor dig into your flesh even through the fabric.

“They are going to be crawling over the ship soon. Do not let them even see you. You cannot run from them and they will know it.” His hand makes sure you can’t look even the tiniest bit away from him. “They will take advantage of your weakness. You must stay here, in your quarters, or close to me. I was charged with protecting you, and I will see it through.”

There’s not many places on this ship you go, at least without him. He is your guard, or perhaps more accurately your handler. He is in charge of making sure you don’t wander where you don’t belong, as even if the Salamanders have been welcoming to a remembrancer on their ship, they have their limits. For your safely and their privacy.

This ship- A world for giants, it isn't meant for someone like you either. Ralkan makes it a bit easier to navigate.

Though out of all the titles he's been given, he seems to enjoy calling himself your knight first and foremost. You assume it’s simply a part of their culture, you’ve heard other Salamanders call themselves knights as well. The tone is different, but you assume it’s simply Ralkan’s own brand of oddity. Perhaps he isn't fully cognizant of the intimate undertone behind saying such a thing to you.

Stuck in his grip, your nose wrinkles as you try to say something in defiance, to learn a bit more, but you know this it all you'll get from him. Even if you ask sweetly.

“I just wanted to know what was happening. I'll," You turn your face away from him and blow air from between your tight lips. "I'll stop the questions about it."

There isn’t much you can say otherwise in the matter anyhow. You want to trust him, and to listen to him, but perhaps it’s simply curiosity that makes you hesitate on the matter. Or naivety he probably assumes, as much as that irritates you.

He lets out an audible sigh of relief, and loosens the hand on your shoulder, it drifting up your neck before it cups your jaw. The other joins it on the opposite side, holding your face in his gauntlets. They're so gentle, even with cold ceramite between your skin and his.

“You know I do this to protect you, yes?” He continues, his eyes soft as they gaze over you. “I only want for you to be safe here. With me. I have seen these astartes before; I know what they are capable of.”

His eyes are warm, brow softened. You always enjoy when he looks at you this way, even if you might fear of what lays between you being far beyond the supposed title of knight and his charge.

He leans forward, and his forehead touches your own. You feel like he wishes to do more, but is forcing it back. Your bare hand lays overtop of his gauntlet, and you smile at him.

But after a moment, he leans back away from you.

“I must leave now. My brothers and I are part of the battalion that is due to greet our temporary allies.”

You so desperately don’t want him to leave, but at the same time, you wonder if the weight on your chest will finally dissipate if he does.

He rises, and in doing so also removes his hands from your jaw. His cape shifts behind him just barely brushing against the floor, and you swear you can hear the crackling of a vox channel in his helmet. His battalion must be calling for him.

“I will return soon. Please, do not forget what I have said.” You nod in understanding, and pick up your pen. He smiles at you after you do, and turns to leave. You turn to watch for a moment, until he's out of your sight. You turn back to face the table and let out a sigh, rubbing your jaw.

You didn’t want him to leave, but at times Ralkan can be so, suffocating. His very energy is that way, many of the astartes are, but Ralkan seems to have his grip around you particularly tight.

You sum it up to him being dedicated to the safely of their brand new remembrancer. The sheen of a new toy that hasn't worn off yet. Or perhaps him simply wishing to make sure you don't deviate from the path, and tread where you aren't welcome.

You assume the ladder, though the way he looks at you fills you with doubt.

You aren't opposed to him being fond, but he is so overwhelming. You might consider yourself lucky you think you feel the same way, as you don't know if you'd be able to get free of his grip if you didn't.

You don’t forget his words, but as you write word after word, and the drawing of Commander Artellus's face slowly forms, your mind begins to fall into the paper, and his voice becomes little more than a tickle in the back of your mind.

#warhammer 40k x reader #space marine x reader #salamander x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting #Yandere!Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere!NightLord

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c-o-t-o · 7 months

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Shower Scene (Denji x reader) PART 1

(Part 2 here) (Alternate Aki arc, Part 1 here)

(Part 3 here)

(Part 4 (end) here)

Author: c-o-t-o

Character: Denji x fem reader

CW: 18+ only, sexual content/smut, character aged up, explicit language, blood, pain play, choking, bdsm (some CWs apply to other parts)

Misc: ~2.5k words, Part 1

About: After you and Denji finish a mission, he loses too much blood and becomes weak. You promise him your blood after you've both showered. But is he too weak to bathe himself?

*Do not remove info or credit from posts when reblogging or sharing!*

Your chest rises and falls heavily as you pant, trying to catch your breath after defeating some devils with Denji. The final blow left the two of you absolutely soaked from the blood spray, which is now slowly trickling down your face. You look over at Denji who is grinning wickedly from the thrill of the fight, audibly panting and grunting as he tries to catch his breath as well.

"Nice job, Denji," you manage to say between breaths, "let's head back home and clean off." Denji turns to nod at you, but you see his expression slowly fade from wicked excitement to something different... almost like he's mesmerized. You watch his eyes as they slowly follow the blood streaming down your face. When the bead falls from your chin, he snaps out of it, looking back up to your eyes with flushed cheeks. 'Oh, that's right,' you think to yourself, 'Denji has a thing for blood.' You clear your throat and offer to let Denji feed from you after you both return home and have showered. He looks completely drained and you can't even imagine how desperately he must need some blood to rejuvenate himself.

Makima had you move in with Aki and the rest, but upgraded you all to a house so you could all have your own rooms with some privacy. After all, Aki had begged her for more room after burdening him to live with yet another public safety devil hunter. With them living together for years, getting older and needing more privacy, it was long overdue anyway.

"Are... are you sure? I can drink y-your blood?" Denji swallowed heavily mid sentence as his face turned so red that his blush was almost indistinguishable from the blood splatter. After nodding and offering your shoulder for him to lean on, Denji smirked and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "If you say so, then okay! I'll try to be careful."

You knew Denji became shy around you; you two have lived in your shared space for months now, stealing glances and dropping innuendos nearly every time you were alone together until one of you got the point. You both knew but would never admit it, so this playful back and forth went on far longer than you could really stand. You knew that Denji putting his lips on your neck to drink your blood would break him. Every time in the past that you offered him your blood he shyly declined, saying that it's too close to being like kissing your neck. You wonder why, then, he accepted this time. Have you finally broken his will? Or is he truly that drained from the fight?

You finally make it home, Denji seemingly drunk from the loss of blood as he slumps down the wall. "I can't..." he lets his head fall back and it hits the wall. "Carry meeee..." he whines.

"Denji you know full well I can't carry you," you laugh while pulling his shoes off for him and undoing his tie. "But once we both shower you can have my blood, remember?" You pull his tie off and feel Denji grab your fingers as you are about to pull away, groaning whiningly as he puts your fingers on the buttons of his shirt.

"Really?? You can't even undress yourself?" You search his eyes to see if he's being coy or if he's out of it. You get your answer when his eyes roll back in his head and he slides sideways down onto the floor.

"Fuck! Denji? Denji, come on..." He just groans quietly and mumbles incoherently. "Aki?!" you shout, but there's no response from anyone else. Your heart starts pounding as you realize the two of you are alone and that you'll now have to undress and shower Denji. You refuse to let him feed from you with the blood of numerous devils now dried all over you, so shower you must.

You whimper out loud dejectedly. "Denji, I have to shower you, Aki isn't home. I'm sorry." You manage to stand him up and walk him with his arm over your shoulder, his feet mostly dragging instead of walking. You get to the bathroom and drag Denji into the shower room. His eyes are still rolled back, not really focused on anything. You sigh again out loud as you begin by unbuttoning his shirt.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." you quietly repeat over and over as you undress him. As you slip the shirt off of Denji, your hands graze across his slender torso, feeling the stiffness of his muscles and chest. It was enough to send electricity shooting through your body right down to your sensitive area. You get his pants off easily enough, but your hands stop at the waistband of his underwear.

"Denji... I need to know that you're okay with this, I'm about to see you and touch you..." He almost drunkenly nods his head, but it's so slight that you decide not to take that as a clear answer. A moment later his hand shakily grabs yours and moves it over to his waistband, gives you a thumbs-up sign, and then lets his hand fall down to his side.

'So he's aware and can hear me, great.'

"I always imagined seeing each other naked being vastly different, but I don't have much of a choice. I'm so sorry Denji..." you whisper as you slowly pull down his boxers. Surprisingly Denji remained soft, but you attribute that to the loss of blood. That aside, you blush at the fact that Denji still seems a bit large, even being soft. You undress yourself near his feet so that he can't quite see you, still shy at the prospect of him seeing you naked.

"I'm turning on the water now, Denji. I'm going to wash myself first and then I'll clean you, okay?" Again, all Denji can manage is a thumbs up, but you're grateful that he can at least give you a sign that this is all okay.

You're also grateful for the Japanese style shower so that there's room for you to bathe while Denji lays sprawled out on the tile floor. You shower yourself quickly, realizing Denji must be cold laying on the floor. Cold, drained, and exhausted.

On your hands and knees, you scooch over to him with the shower hose and begin hosing down his legs and lathering him up with a soapy shower sponge. He moans when the hot water hits his legs, mouth slightly open, revealing his sharp teeth. Your heart skips a beat at the sound and sight. You secretly have a thing for his sharp teeth and have always wondered what they would feel like grazing along the nape of your neck.

You shake your head as if shaking out your encroaching dirty thoughts, and begin to lather up his feet and legs. "Well..." you swallow hard, "I might as well get this over with." You sponge Denji's penis and lower abs with the soapy sponge, trying to use the sponge itself to move everything around so that you're not touching him directly.

Denji's face immediately turns to the side to look away from you. You see his abs almost throbbing with tension as you sponge him and notice he seems to be holding his breath. When you pass over him with the hot water, he releases his breath with the deepest, guttural groan you've ever heard him make. You feel yourself twitch at the sound and feel wetness begin to pool between your legs.

You're relieved to work your way up and sponge his stomach and chest. This is the first time you've seen his chainsaw pulley so close. With hesitation, you touch your fingers lightly to it as it slides along the wet metal end. Your fingers follow the rope back to the origin in the middle of his chest, delicately tracing your fingertips around the opening. Denji muffles a moan, and you momentarily worry that it might be too sensitive there, until you feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest and his fist clenching at his side. 'I wonder if this spot feels good.'

You eventually take his arm in one hand, and gently wash it with the sponge in your other hand. You lather up your hands and gently rock your fingers between his to make sure you've gotten them completely clean. When you get to his other hand, you feel his fingers close around yours. Your gaze snaps to look up at him, but he continues to look away with his head turned to the side. You notice, however, his face turning red again.

'I bet he's enjoying this, the horny freak.' You think that to yourself, knowing full well that you have also been a freak for the thoughts you've had of Denji lately. As much as you don't want to admit it to yourself, your chest aches at the sight of him and how you're so close, yet feel so far from getting what it is you truly want. At least, you can't do anything, not with Denji like this.

With his grip still tightened around your fingers, you glance down and notice how slim his waist is, something you've only caught glimpses of in the past if he stretched his arms up over his head or laid sloppily on the ground by the kotatsu, letting the bottom of his shirt lift up slightly.

You pull your hand away and look at his face, gently turning it to look back in your direction so that you can wash his face. You laugh nasally to yourself when you see that he has his eyes clamped shut. Is he embarrassed to look at you? Or is he doing it out of decency? Either way it's fine because you can wash and rinse his face.

You slide your body so that you can place his head on your lap to wash his hair next. His face blushes once again as your fingers massage through his hair, and you catch quiet breathy moans escaping through his lips.

After rinsing his hair, you look down to see Denji looking up at you with one eye... looking up with his head in your lap... at the underside of your boobs. You feel your heart stop momentarily as you meet his gaze. He slams his eye shut and looks away again. But as he turns his face, you instinctively push his head off your lap in fear that his face will go right down into your crotch.

"FUCK I'M SORRY DENJI." You cradle his head but see his eyes swimming now. "God damn it. I made this so much worse..." You look around the room to see if he can grab something to hold onto and stand up, but realize that's not possible with all the water. That, and letting his head hit the floor after pushing it off your lap.

"Denji, I think..." your voice trails off as you sigh. "I think you'll have to drink my blood here. I wont be able to carry you out of here without slipping and hurting both of us."

You jump in surprise as Denji weakly (and incredibly slowly) turns onto his side, and onto his stomach. His forehead presses to the shower floor as his fingers trail up your arm to grab your shoulder. You feel his hand shaking, trying to push you down so that you're laying as well.

You realize Denji is trying to have you lay down so that he can drink from you. To help him out you slide down on your back so that you're laying side by side. Without looking up, Denji shakily slides onto your shoulder.

You feel his damp skin slide over yours, hot breath tumbling onto your shoulder as he slowly places his face into the crook of your neck. You can feel your heart racing and even see your vision slightly pulsating. His wet hair tickles your ear, and you feel his nose trace the curve of your neck, fingers weakly trying to grip your shoulder.

You hear him whisper so quietly that it's almost indistinguishable amidst the shower water still running. "Can... I...?" he barely whispers, making sure one last time that it's okay with you. This is it, the moment you've always fantasized, knowing how Denji's teeth would feel against your neck, tasting your blood. But the moment is intensified by your naked bodies laying in the middle of the steamy shower room.

You nod your head and barely say yes before he sinks his teeth down into your supple flesh. You gasp out loud and grab his slick back as he pierces you. It stings, but feels so incredible at the same time. The pain is over quickly as he pulls his teeth out and closes his lips around your skin. You feel the blood slowly being sucked from you as Denji's tongue laps over the bites. He moans and breathes heavily as he slowly drinks from you, groaning with each suck. Each swallow is hard, and his grip on your shoulder tightens with each gulp.

You thought you'd have to cut him off, but to your surprise, he slows to a stop by himself and pulls his mouth away. He did say he'd try to be careful earlier. Denji gently licks your neck one last time with one long, slow, sweeping motion to clean the last of the blood, making you cringe with pleasure.

"Denji? Are you okay? Did that help?" You turn your head to the side to see if he's okay. With his head still down, you see only his eyes glare up at you through his wet hair. "... Denji...? What's wrong?" You feel his chest moving in and out quicker as his eyes dart back and forth between yours. His head lifts more until you see your glistening red blood smeared across his lips, and all you can think of is how fucking hot it makes him look. As weird as it may be, seeing blood on Denji made him seem so badass and intense.

You realize you've been staring down at his lips for too long now, when you suddenly feel his fingers gliding through the back of your hair. He lifts himself up on his elbow, his face hovering right above yours now. Some blood drips off his lips and down onto yours. He looks down at the blood on your lips, up at your eyes, and back down at your lips, fixated on the blood.

Before you know it, Denji moves quickly and instinctually down to your face and licks the blood off of your lips, as though not to waste it. He hears the quiet gasp that slips through your lips, and stays hovered above your face, slowly grinning with his sharp teeth... almost evilly.

"You always imagine seeing us naked?" His voice is so low and deep that you can almost feel it vibrate on your skin.

"Wh-what?" You shake your head confused.

"You said 'I always imagined seeing each other naked being vastly different, but I don't have much of a choice..." Denji's tongue licks around his lips, savoring any blood that might have lingered there.

"So tell me..." his voice trails off as he places his other hand next to your head, trapping your head between his hands, his face still hovering right above yours, eyes locked onto you. "What has your dirty little mind been fantasizing about, then?"

---------- To be continued ----------

#denji x reader #denji x fem reader #denji smut #chainsaw man #csm #chainsaw man smut #csm smut #fanfic #aki smut #aki hayakawa #makima #power #anime #manga #otaku #weeaboo #weeaboo trash #fan fiction #c-o-t-o

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lengthenedshadows · 7 months

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HELLO??

Fully blindsided right now & still processing the situation as I type this

My employer of 4 years, who has always been honest with me (sometimes to a concerning degree) has just let me know quite suddenly that she does not have the money to pay me for my last 2 weeks of work.

It's not totally out of the blue, I knew the company was struggling in an expand-or-die sort of way, but she's been reassuring me for months that she had investors lined up etc etc and that she'd let me know well ahead of time if I needed to start looking for another job.

Timesheets for the second half of September were due on the 1st-- mine totaled up to nearly full time at 19/hr. Typically payroll goes through within a couple of days or we at least hear an update. Crickets.

My internet bill was due yesterday; the charge hit my closed bank account and bounced. I was barely expecting to be able to cover my existing overdue and anticipated expenses with the paycheck i believed was coming. I reached out via text to ask for an update:

I have in fact been looking for another job-- at least on the side to make me feel more secure and allow me to live more comfortably-- but no one wants a gardener in the winter, or a gardener who can't drive, for that matter, and I hadn't begun to start looking for the sort of work from home admin job she had me doing.

She's been like a weird family member to me for ages now, and yet she let me do all that work the last couple weeks, knowing she couldn't pay me for it, without saying a damn word. I have emails from her asking for me to do more for her as recently as yesterday. No mention of oh btw it's gonna be volunteer labor for now. I'm feeling heartbroken and betrayed; she was one of the few 'adult' figures in my life I genuinely felt I could count on.

I'll double down and figure something out-- but, in the meantime, I'm SO fucked and I really need your help. Please please at least reblog this for a boost, and if you have even an extra dollar I'd be tremendously grateful if you sent it my way.

Ca$happ/venm* $wanderingivy

Dm for paypal or evidence of debts/bills/expenses and shit if you want it, I can't psychologically tolerate trying to dig it all up right this second

#ivy.txt #financial #help needed #donations needed #please help #seriously the floor just fell out from under me i dont know what to do #please at least reblog to boost. im so scared. i am a contract employee with no unemployment insurance. okay im gonna go break down now

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gloombeauty · 12 days

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I watched Lana's full Coachella set.

These are my thoughts:

1 - She looked gorgeous. Dresses, hair, face and shoes were on point. She hasn't looked this good since 2017. The magic of losing weight for health and fucking vanity. Good for her.

2 - It all goes downhill from there. The setlist was a tragedy - not in a good way. First of all, you're at Coachella and you don't do Coachella (Woodstock On My Mind). Where was Shades of Cool? National Anthem? Music While Watching Boys? Venice Bitch? Off To The Races? Thunder? VB/Taco Truck?

Like, this is a fucking festival mama. Nobody spends that much money for a festival just to go to sleep. She chose to play so many piano driven songs. That's the thing. Her last four albums have been really slow piano driven songs. She should change it up for the next one (the one after Lasso...) and add some guitars, beats and drums. She's overdue for a change in sound.

3 - Lana barely sang. I don't know if she was bored out of her mind or just plain nerves - but her vocals were nonexistent. The stans are saying it was bad audio or tech issues, but I had no issues hearing the background singers, Jon Batista or Billie Eilish. How is it I can hear everyone else on stage except Lana? There were moments when Lana actually opened her mouth and sang loud and clear. But for the most part, she was like a dead fish vocally. She just wasn't into it.

I also noticed there were no background tracking vocals playing. It was all live. She has been using background track vocals for years. Maybe she got too use to having that playing in the background that it made her damn lazy to sing?

4 - The execution of the show/set. The set was gorgeous, but the way it was carried out was a fucking mess. A hologram during Hope is A Dangerous Thing...? The awful dancers. The instrumentation. What the hell happened? How did a stage set so beautiful end up being so messy and wrong?

5 - By the end of her performance, half the audience was gone. The camera picked up on that. When she was riding away in the bike, there really was no excitement. The people in the audience didn't even wave at her.

Last year, Blondie did Coachella. These folks are in their 70's and they rocked the house out.

Anyway, let's see what happens next week. She needs to open her mouth and fucking sing. She's been singing on stage for over 15 years. It's time for her to get over her stage fright or just don't perform anymore. Also, shake up that setlist.

There's a few more performances coming up that I'm interested in.

I hope Lana's performance the following week is better. This performance was a 3/10 for me.

#lana del rey #coachella #review

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word-wytch · 1 year

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Don't Stand So Close To Me — Chapter 4

Eddie x Teacher!Reader

Chapter 4/? 3.1k. Series Masterlist

✏︎ There are some things Eddie isn’t used to hearing, and mean even more when coming from you.

✏︎ Series Summary: Forced to move back home to Hawkins after your fiancé cheats on you, you begin to fall in love again with an audacious 20 year old metalhead, only there’s one problem — he’s still in high school and you’re his English teacher.

While you struggle starting over in a place you never thought you would return, Eddie struggles feeling stuck in a place he can’t manage to leave — until you offer to help him. Of all the lessons learned, the most important are the ones you teach each other.

✏︎ Series CW: forbidden romance, slow burn, smut (18+ mdni), true love, internal conflict, student-teacher relationship, 10 year age gap, mutual pining, sexual tension, emotions, drama, angst, character development, happy ending :)

Chapter warnings: mild angst I guess? that's it :)

“Well I for one think the first lady’s new ‘Just Say No’ campaign is a great idea, it’s long overdue if you ask me,” said Mrs. Hutchins, to which your mother nodded in agreement.

You stared down at your plate and poked at your green beans with your fork.

“It’s about time there was a war on drugs, it’s gotten out of control in this country,” Mrs. Hutchins continued, reaching for the gravy.

You shoveled the green beans into your mouth to keep it occupied. You figured getting into an argument with Mrs. Hutchins over Reagan’s policies was not exactly what your mother had intended for the evening. Besides, it wasn’t worth your energy anyway.

Your dad gave you a silly look from across the table and you smiled at him.

You looked back down at your plate and thought about Eddie Munson again. This time it was about how he’d looked at you when you told him you’d be here.

You wondered what Eddie would say to Mrs. Hutchins. He had an opinion on just about everything and you were certain he would not withhold it. Not for your mother’s sake, not for anybody. You suspected that it got him into trouble more often than not but there was something you admired about that.

You tucked into your risotto and tuned out the conversation.

He was sitting so close to you today. So close that a ringlet of his soft hair grazed your hand when he leaned over. So close that you could smell him. The same scent that enveloped you in the hallway the other day, although this time less bright notes of shampoo, more deep notes of leather and musk. There was that faint cigarette smell and something else too that you couldn’t quite place, like the warmth of his skin that was distinct and yet indistinguishable.

Normally you were not keen on the smell of cigarettes. It lingered on just about everything. In restaurants and car seats, especially in homes. It clung to the clothing of heavy smokers with a stale musk that you hated, but on Eddie it didn’t seem to bother you. In fact, you were hesitant to admit that you almost liked it.

“Andrew, why don’t you tell us about your new job,” suggested your mother.

You glanced over at the man sitting next to you, hardly able to believe that this was once the boy who used to collect G.I. Joe figures rather than play with them as intended.

Andrew cleared his throat. “My job is to diagnose and correct issues with computer hardware, figure out what isn’t working and order and replace the corresponding parts. Occasionally it’s a software issue, in which case I can troubleshoot and reinstall certain programs.” he said, adjusting his glasses. He looked just about as thrilled to be here as you were.

“Do you guys sell computers there?” asked your dad.

“Yes, though my work is primarily in computer repairs, not sales.”

“You know I was telling my daughter here that I really think computers are going to be the future,” said your mom.

“Oh yes, absolutely. Personal computer sales have quadrupled in the last few years, all thanks to the Commodore 64 being so affordable,” said Andrew. “In fact I really think they ought to have computer classes in every school. I think I read recently in the paper that only 48% of schools have them.”

Your mom’s eyes lit up and she turned to you, “Do they have computer class at your school, dear?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. Not yet.”

“Well maybe that might be something worth suggesting to the principal.”

“I doubt I would have much say in something like that.”

“I’m just saying, it’s worth a try, dear.”

You smiled curtly and glanced down at your plate again, scooting your green beens around in the excess gravy.

“Speaking of school, why don’t you tell us a little bit about how your job’s been going? I do hope the students are behaving,” your mother continued.

“Oh, they have their moments but overall it’s been alright,” you said, “We’re studying The Catcher in the Rye in my senior class.”

Andrew raised his eyebrows, “Oh that book,” he said with a little laugh, “It’s a bit strange isn’t it? All I can really remember is how he kept calling everyone a phony all the time. I never understood it.”

Of course you didn’t. “Yeah, the stream of consciousness seems to throw some readers off. A lot of people end up missing the point.”

“What is the point anyway?” asked Andrew, but before you could respond Mrs. Hutchins interjected.

“Don’t you think that book is a bit inappropriate for children? I remember when Andrew brought it home all those years ago. At that time some of the ladies in my church group were trying to get it banned in schools. Clearly their efforts were unsuccessful.”

“My students are teenagers, not children, in fact some of them are already adults,” you said, and thought about recommending Fahrenheit 451 to her but figured the joke would be lost.

“Still, I think teenagers are too young to be reading about,” she lowered her voice, “hookers.”

You bit your lip and looked down at your plate again. It took every ounce of self control not to laugh. You glanced over at Andrew. He looked like he wanted to evaporate.

“I’ll tell you what,” continued Mrs. Hutchins, “Kids are getting into more and more worrisome and bizarre things nowadays. Did you see that special on the local news? There’s this game called Dungeons and Dragons and some people suspect that it’s a gateway, luring children into devil worshiping cults.”

This time you did laugh. “I really don’t think there’s any truth to that. The student I tutor plays that game. He talks about it all the time. It really is just a fantasy game that you create your own adventures in.”

“Well that’s what it might look like on the surface, but on this special they were talking about all the signs to look for if you suspect your child might have been lured. Now there’s the obvious symbolism like goats and pentagrams. Then there’s listening to heavy metal music — that’s a big one. Apparently there’s all sorts of hidden messaging in those songs, especially if you play the tapes backwards.”

Andrew’s face was in his hands.

“Boy, that sounds terrifying,” said your mother with furrowed brows before taking a bite of her pork roast.

You thought about Eddie Munson again. He certainly fit the description, though you were doubtful he actually worshiped Satan. You supposed there was no way for you to really know. He had quite a habit of talking about, well, just about anything besides school, but you doubted he’d openly admit to something like that.

It was strange for you to think that you had really only known him for less than two months. It felt like you’d known him forever.

If he did actually worship Satan, you supposed it wouldn’t really bother you. What you could tell was that he had a good heart. What you also could tell is that there was nothing you could say to Mrs. Hutchins that would change her mind.

______

Much to the disappointment of your mother, sparks did not fly over dinner. That was obvious enough for her not to arrange another, much to your relief.

The weekend came quickly, and it was a long one, which meant more time with quizzes to grade, and boxes that you had procrastinated unpacking. More time alone with your thoughts.

Historically you never minded being alone, typically you relished in it. Lately you had been doing everything you could to combat the oppressive silence in your apartment and the noisy chatter in your mind.

On Saturday you practically wore out your records, exhausting your entire collection as you did some much needed cleaning.

On Sunday it was difficult to get out of bed, so you just left the radio on when your alarm clock went off.

On Monday you sat on your living room floor in front of your TV and thumbed through the quizzes that you gave out on Friday, marking each one with your green grading pen.

You paused when you got to Eddie’s.

There was a little drawing of a dragon at the bottom of his quiz along with a note that said “Slay me!”

You smiled for the first time that day, fingers tracing the lines where his pen met the paper, feeling the subtle indents left behind by it.

You ran down the ten questions, he got nine of them right. You gave him a 90% and circled the A- at the top of the paper. At the bottom you wrote “You sure slayed this quiz!” with a little smiley face.

______

Eddie Munson had a way of creeping into your thoughts when you least expected it. It was like he had taken up permanent residence there, like a song stuck in your head.

It was far a better song than the sad and angry one that had been playing on repeat for months now, and at this point you would take any break you could get from it.

On Tuesday you couldn’t stop thinking about the way he smiled at you on Friday when he turned in his quiz. It was playful and warm.

On Wednesday he sat across from you after school. He was wearing a flannel shirt under his usual denim vest today. It was refreshing to see him in color for a change. The vibrant red suited him. He’d rolled his sleeves up, revealing a tattoo that looked like a cluster of flying bats.

“So, how did you do on your history test? Did you get your grades back?” you asked, bringing your attention away from his forearms.

“Yeah, uh,” Eddie shifted in his chair, glancing off to the side, “I got a C,” he said quietly.

You nodded, your expression neutral, though there was a softness in your eyes. “How do you feel about that?”

Eddie looked surprised, “I…” he paused for a moment, blinking, “You know, honestly, when I first got my test back I was actually pretty happy about it,” he said. “I mean it’s better than I usually do, way better than an F.”

You looked at him curiously, “You said, ‘at first’ did something change?”

“Well, I mean a C is good for me, but — “ he glanced at you sheepishly.

“Then a C is good!”

He looked relieved. “Oh, well in that case, then yeah. I guess I am pretty happy about it.”

“Eddie,” you said gently. He leaned forward at the sound of his name. “You don’t have to worry about impressing me, that isn’t what this is about. I just want to help you graduate, not be valedictorian,” you said, “I’m proud of you.”

Eddie beamed at you with those big brown eyes of his. Suddenly he glanced away, blinking quickly as he lifted a hand to scratch the side of his head to shield them from view.

You leaned closer, sensing the shift in his body language. When he turned to face you again you could have sworn his nose was a little flushed, his eyes wetter than usual.

“Sorry, I don’t hear that a lot.”

Your chest tightened. You wanted to leap across the desk, scoop him up in your arms and tell him that a thousand times, but instead you just smiled softly and said, “Well, get used to it.”

He smiled at you again, big and broad. He fidgeted with the rings on his fingers and for just a moment you swore you could see past the hair, the patches and chains, straight through to the boy he once was, getting F after F. You could see the disappointed looks from everyone around him reflected in those eyes of his. He must have gotten used to them, steeled himself to them, resigned himself to the letter.

You felt the tears start to burn behind your eyes and you searched for anything to change the subject. “How did your campaign go on Friday?”

His lips curved into a mischievous smirk. “Found three new recruits actually, just last week.”

You raised your eyebrows and blinked, clearing your eyes of any evidence. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah. I knew it the moment I saw ‘em, two freshmen sitting all by themselves at the end of a lunch table. They’d been there for weeks, just the two of them. You can always kinda tell with the freshmen, they just look like little lost sheep, ‘specially these two. One of the kids was wearing a Weird Al t-shirt,” he said with a laugh, “And that’s when I was like, ok, these kids should sit with us for a change. Well it turns out they’ve been playing DnD for ages, and they’ve got a friend in another lunch period who plays too, so now we’ve got three new members, which is great because, uh, we were kind of hurting for them.” He chuckled softly.

Eddie had an energy about him that was bold and magnetic. It sucked you right in. The timbre of his voice was bright and warm. It was oddly soothing. You enjoyed listening to him talk, watching his hands as they gestured wildly, which you figured was a good thing since he did a lot of talking.

“Some kids just need someone to show them that school doesn’t have to be all bad, you know? I know that’s what I needed.”

You imagined freshman Eddie sitting in the cafeteria by himself, lonely and lost, with his curly mop of hair much shorter than it was now.

“Us freaks have to stick together, you know?”

You nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, I know. I wasn’t exactly popular myself,” you admitted. “Actually I used to help run an after school mentoring program in Indianapolis. A lot of troubled kids came through there, but it was so rewarding to watch them come into their own, find a place they felt like they belonged, you know?” you said, “I miss that part of my old job.”

Eddie rested his hand against his cheek and hummed in agreement. He looked like he was miles away and yet absolutely present all at once.

“I’ll admit that teaching wasn’t my first career choice, but it’s rewarding in a way that you just… can’t achieve by sitting alone and writing stories by yourself.”

Eddie smirked and gave a thoughtful nod, “That has its own rewards though.”

Your eyes twinkled. “Oh yeah, it definitely does.”

You shifted the focus toward his schoolwork. Today you helped him work through some equations in Trigonometry. Truthfully it took some refreshing on your part, it had been ages since you’d done it and you were more than a little rusty. Math was never really your strong suit anyway. The nice thing about formulas is that once you understood them you could just simply apply them and solve. Math seemed to be something that Eddie was naturally pretty good at though. You wondered if it had anything to do with having to deal with numbers frequently in his campaigns.

“Alright, I think that about wraps it up for today. Not sure about you but I’m getting hungry,” you said.

“Ok, I’m parked right over there,” he said pointing out the window to the van in the near empty parking lot. “We can walk out together. You never know what sort of monsters might be lurking in the shadows at this hour,” he said with a look of exaggerated suspicion.

You chuckled and your heart fluttered in your chest, “Sure, actually I’m the red sedan a few spots down.”

“Great, I know a shortcut,” said Eddie.

You both packed up your things and headed down the main hall towards the gym.

It was when you rounded the corner that you saw them — Jason and Patrick filling their water bottles at the drinking fountain.

You gave them both a little wave, which they returned half-heartedly. There was a curious expression playing on their faces which you had hardly a second to study before you passed. Eddie didn’t even look at them.

You could feel the tension in the air, and their eyes on you as you both left out the back door.

Eddie reached into the pocket of his vest and procured a pack of cigarettes. “Sorry, do you mind? I’m totally jonesing right now.”

“Oh no, it’s fine.”

Eddie gave a gracious nod and popped a cigarette between his lips. He flicked the lighter and his mouth was washed in a warm glow, illuminating the smile lines already prominent on his young face. They suited him.

He blew the smoke away from you with a relieved sigh and you walked toward your cars together in comfortable silence.

The sun was low in the clear blue sky, casting a golden light over the parking lot. The leaves were just starting to change in fiery orange and yellow patches. You could smell autumn in the crispness of the air, in the leaves that had already fallen as they skittered across the asphalt.

Eddie ducked his head under your car in a swift motion and looked around suspiciously. “Coast is clear, no monsters.”

You gave a big belly laugh. “Good thing I have you to keep me safe.”

The wind caught his hair as he rose to his feet and turned to you. “For you? Anything.”

Eddie Munson was beautiful like a neon sign at night. Beautiful like graffiti, like an empty street that beckoned you to wander down it.

You could feel your heart pounding as you smiled at him, turning to putty at his words. “See you tomorrow, Eddie.”

“See ya.” He gave a little bow with his head and waved as he turned toward his van.

You got into your car and set your bag on the passenger seat, letting out the breath you didn’t even realize you’d been holding in. You could hear the roar of the stereo as Eddie’s van came to life two spots over.

You couldn’t help but steal another glance at him. His hair swished and swayed as he bobbed his head to the beat. He was wild like the summer wind as it ripped across a field.

His eyes caught yours again and he flashed you a smile, bright and blinding.

If there was once thing you were certain of in that moment, it was that Eddie Munson was going to be the death of you.

At least you couldn’t get in trouble for your thoughts.

______

A/N: Oooo we've got a revelation on reader's part and next chapter I've got some really delicious moments in store so sit tight because this burn is gonna be slow but oh boy is it gonna be worth it!

I have one request — If you read and enjoy this, especially if you ask/asked to be put on the tag list, I ask in return that you reblog AND tell me what you like about this fic, even just something short and sweet! Please engage with me, it’s all I get in return for writing a story that you love for free 💜

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