#even small ones are a big deal

[sergle]

me and maya have some collab journals now!! WHEEE these 3 designs are mine, but the others in the shop are just as gorgeous! They went up just now, so get em while they’re hot! 

#sergle art #artists on tumblr #support small businesses #maybe this is weird bc the skirts are more of a big deal but I feel like the hydrangeas look. Even Better. on a notebook #that one's my favorite but don't tell anyone shhhhhh

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by) #though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments #talkys #inspired by recent me and friend events #and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me. #and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect #but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person #and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes #its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio #but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being #ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly'' #or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real ! #just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em #long post #delete later #sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late #but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different #people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people #this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the #time. you can change yourself at any time. #ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling #part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info #like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life #but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em #some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things #and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^

[lucaplushie]

guys come here. closer. closer. okay not that close. whispers. does anyone know if theres like a willry discord group i can join and if not if there's interest in one. actually fuck it im making this a poll

#luca speaks #delete later #willry #helliam #i just want a little community of mentally ill people (willry fans) #we could even have like movie nights (watching gacha life videos) and book club (reading willry fics and discussing) #ideally youd have to dm me for the link so i can vet everyone who comes in though #i dont want prosh/p or anything like that in there man. i dont wanna deal with *vaguely gestures* all that #this one isn't going in the main tag lololol #i wanna restrict this poll to my followers and stalkers of the willry tags ONLY!!! #also double ideally itd be small because i have social anxiety and i HATE big servers #also because itd only have one mod (me) unless someone of my mutuals wanted to help me mod #tbh i want it to be small enough that wed only need me as a mod #maybe i can convince my irl to help mod but theyre a full time student so im not trying to have them do stuff they can't #anyway #i will be periodically reblogging this throughout the day so we get a bigger sample size

[lastoneout]

sometimes I don't think I could be autistic and/or like all that neurodivergent and then other times my fiancé makes a practical and logical argument as to why we don't need a tiny colander that's too small for most tasks and that to save space in the sink/cabinets I should learn to use the medium sized one and honestly we should probably just get rid of the small one and I am filled with such an immense rush of panic and discomfort and grief that I can't even explain it properly until I am saying shit like "the tiny colander is my friend" and "using the big one just FEELS wrong, you know, like going to albertsons instead of safeway" and "next you're gonna tell me I have to use the big soup spoons instead of the little ones and I'll pass away" and I can tell while he does love me and isn't actually mad he def thinks I'm being super illogical and can't fully understand why

like yes I KNOW I am being illogical I am well aware of that...however!! If things are different I will die and if I have to get rid of object that is my friend I will ALSO die, and the only explanation I have is "I like to have things a very specific way even if it doesn't make sense or is less convenient or wastes time and space and changing it is REALLY hard I can't just go "oh you're right" and then change it just doesn't work like that" which is like.....not a great explanation I don't think but that's literally all I've got so???

and like this is legit the only thing we ever "argue" over(bcs we aren't actually fighting we're just talking) it's just him being like "hey the way you do things is inefficient and doesn't make a lot of sense, wouldn't it be easier/make more sense to do it this way?" and then me scrambling to try to articulate "that's fair, but this is the way I do things, I can't change that" in a way that doesn't make me sound dismissive or insane or something which doesn't really seem to work all that well, or like...isn't really getting what I mean across correctly at the very least

#my fiancé is wonderful and we weren't actually fighting #I just have like....I have a certain WAY I prefer to do thing and and specific things I use to do them #and using OTHER things even if they are basically the same #feels like he's asking me to cut my arm off #like he tries to logic his way out of things and I'm like yes I understand the logic #and then he's like 'okay so you're going to do it this way then?' #and I'm like 'no I can't I'll die' #so idk my brain don't work right or something #and I feel bad too bcs like he has to deal with the consequences of me being like this too #like he only brought it up cuz having to do an extra dish is annoying and I agree!! that must suck #and so I want to change to make his life easier... #but using a different collander feels like wearing my jeans inside out #it's not the end of the world but it does SUCK and my brain REALLY does not want to let me do it #I usually do try to accomodate when he points out a different way for me to do things #especially if it like actually makes sense to me I def try to do those ones cuz I agree #but sometimes when it's little stuff I get just a little offended and sad cuz it's like... #is it really such a big deal if I do things in a way that doesnt make sense? #it's so exhausting to try to change #and I'm already trying to deal with my depression and trauma #I don't think I can take not using the small colander even if it doesnt make sense

[widevibratobitch]

took a bunch of clothes to my mom's to wash them since my washing machine is still down and she said 'ill do it dw about it' and threw my favourite white top in with the colours. i no longer have a favourite white top :)

#and i cant even be mad at her because her husband is dead #lol and lmao #anyway the top is now the ugliest greyish minty colour and it looks horrible #normally i wouldnt mind. like there were two white tops and the other also got dyed and idc #but this one had a more unique idc shape? whatever you call that. and it was one of the very few crop tops #that really made me feel good about my body. like not even 'ok i guess i dont look like something that crawled out of a garbage bin' #but genuinely 'good' #and it feels so stupid to be this upset over such a small thing but i feel like ive been at the very limit for the last few days #with everyone fucking crying around me #that this genuinely feels like a tragedy to me rn lol #anyway im being nice and i keep saying its no big deal and nvm but ig you can see that im upset #so now SHE'S mad that I'M mad even tho im not even being a bitch about it im just Sad lol #kms #anyway i feel like shit and it all feels so overwhelming and to think that ill have to spend the long weekend in may here too #my dad and his gf will be at my place in wrocław going to concerts cause there's some sort of festival #all my friends will be chilling and having fun #and i cant even go to prague or vice versa because ill have to be here. having the time of my life with my mother and my grandpa #losing my mind and getting panick attacks in the bathroom lol

[hella1975]

Hi hella! I love love your writing and have done so for years and liked your posts but above all else I am a social media lurker at heart. But I wanted to tell you that following you for so long I’ve seen you go off to college and strike out on your own. Your self reflection and how you move through your life is so inspiring. I feel like your proud distant auntie sometimes cheering you on from afar. Growing up and going through school and into your adulthood is so confusing and frustrating and depressing sometimes but I’m a bit on the other side now and can tell you you’re doing so well. Absolutely killing it and it’s a privilege to read about. Your openness often has me reflect on my own life! I appreciate you bestie 🫶

reading this was genuinely so emotional BESTIE WHAT THE HELL

#IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE I PROMISE I MEAN THIS IN THE MOST POSITIVE OF WAYS #because it just made me really reflective ig? like so much of my life and so many of my issues surround this huge isolation #either ive been made to feel isolated or ive used isolation as a coping mechanism or even that i romanticised my own capacity for it #but regardless i have a really rigid acceptance that im on my own through life #and as a kid that was terrifying and was probably what got me in my head so much #like staring at the enormity of it all and going 'i am alone. i am a singular vessel whose intricacies are inaccessible to anyone else' #and that is TERRIFYING. and yes while it will always be true to an extent ive realised it doesnt have to be entirely #you can share yourself with others and find love in that and friendships and it's taken me years but this year more than any #i feel like ive finally come out of a very long dark tunnel and no one else around me has any idea that any of this is a big deal to me #bc they never had any idea what i was going through #but like?? at some point or another you guys started tagging along and i overshared a shit ton lmao #and a lot of you have been here for YEARS and like. wtf you're RIGHT ive taken you guys along with me for everything #my sexuality crisis my writing journey getting a new job starting uni going into second year making and losing friendships #testing out romance listening to music watching new shows. like every part of myself that's too small and silly to share irl is something #i tell you guys without a second thought like i started this when i was SEVENTEEN and now im twenty you guys have acc watched me grow #im so emotional over this esp bc lately ive focussed mainly on the DOWNSIDES of me being online in these years #idk i needed this more than you know bestie tysm for sticking by my side and same for the rest of you <3 ily ily ily #ask

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

LET ME GO BACK JUST ONCE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

#sorry i am. stressed about decisions and made this in .5 seconds #its not even that big of a deal i just have large emotions rn #im just so stressed bc i got this internship i was meant to start in march right #kinda small startup company but the pay is decent and its mostly remote so i took it (i didnt have anything else) #the day after i signed my offer letter i got ANOTHER interview for an internship during the summer in june and i ended up getting it #i signed the letter for that one today thinking that alls well and i can do both...tell me why the summer one called me up being like #'u wanna start early?'.....WHAT!!! #and the thing is the second company is way larger and pays better and its inperson so it IS a better offer #but id feel like a dick for bailing on the other one right before my start date yk...especially since i rlly liked the ppl i met so far #i just dont know what to do bc i end up looking like a dick either way #i might end up doing the first one for like a month putting in my 2 weeks then doing the other one BUT IDK IF I CAN!!!

[izzy-b-hands]

Reason number idk to keep my shot day more consistent (tho tbf i had been doing really well on timing up until last week lmao):

Shot day being off means i get extra weepy over just. anything. everything. My brain looks at anything and goes 'oh yeah, that's like (horrible traumatic memory), you 'member that? Yeah, sure ya do! here's a recap of that particular time for ya too.'

and like??? I am not a fan of it today. i mean i never really am but, I have shit to do rn lmao (dishes and i keep having smutty ed/izzy and nathan/pickles ideas that refuse to actually flow on the page once i open a word doc.)

#text post #typing this up more as warning that i might be extra messy the next few days #there's an in person work thing this Friday im terrified of bc my transphobic supervisor is gonna b there and like #it's abt four hours counting travel time so i know I'll need the bathroom at least once while im there and he made a Big Deal of it b4 #and i just. am not looking forward to figuring out how to handle this in addition to it being So Many Ppl in One Small Room w/me #my brain deciding that anytime i have even a minor hormonal shift means weeping and constant memory reliving time is not helping that either #all the more reason to keep next week's shot on fucking time!!!!! #but. yeah. might be some sad lil text posts like this and reblogging a lot of my usual fixations to distract myself #but for now: dishes while i consider my ed cockwarming Izzy's strap idea & #my nathan panic proposes to pickles post apocalypse w/the ring he made for Abigail idea #that one is actually mostly written but. doesn't feel quite right yet #i do like the detail that nathan got it in pickles size & planned to resize it for Abigail #bc he didn't know her ring size but he has pickles' memorised along with all his other measurements tbh #so it just. fits right away and is revealed that they designed the ring as their shared dream engagement ring during a frienderbender #and 'whoever finds the right person first can use it with them' but oh. it was made for the right person all along. right there #a stitched up charles officiates while they're just. sitting in a pile of burning rubble aksndjfngn #anyway enough of this i must dishes and address the anxiety stomachache starting now that i thought abt the work thing 💀

[biscuitscheesebiscuits]

Reading physical copies of The Queen's Thief series for the first time and realizing that the maps in them are inconsistent???

#the only map i'd really seen before was K's map to P in Thick as Thieves #but now looking at the map from the last story of Moira's Pen I'm like. wait. the empire is opposite in this one. #like according to K's map C and K generally move west in TaT but the other map has them moving east #it's not that big a deal to me bc i had to read the entire series twice to conceptualize where anything was #(bc i spent the whole of The Thief not realizing just how important every nation mentioned was. good move mwt you genuinely fooled me.) #but now that i thought i had it down i am once again thrown off #also the map that's referenced in Moira's Pen shows up in the physical copy of TaT? #the beauty of this series is that I NEVER would have guessed what was up in that story even had i seen the map beforehand #anyway all i wanted was to conceptualize where Roa was & now i'm like spiraling. like is K's map incorrect bc its from an imperial lens #which honestly? yeah absolutely (it makes the peninsula look so small) but also how would the mede empire have #conquered so much land with inaccurate resources even if it is for propaganda's sake #nothing in this series is accidental so i'm like *pepe silvia meme* #anyway this is just me trying to put my thoughts somewhere ignore me my tags are a mess #The Queen's Thief #The Queen's Thief spoilers #like not exactly but since everything is spoilers i'm tagging that just in case #Thick as Thieves #Moira's Pen

[boqvistsbabe]

..

#is it weird to say that I want more friends that look like me #like in the sense that all my friends are of average/skinny body types #and so when I talk about any struggles about being physically bigger they can relate to some feelings but #they are not classified as mid or plus sized #so they don’t relate to a lot of things #and I just want someone that understands what I go through both in trying to date and in just regular life as well #not that they don’t try to understand #but it’s not the same if that makes sense #like I appreciate them trying and being there #but I have one friend that is still not understanding some of my frustrations with certain things #and she’s like well just don’t talk to those people or just ignore it or it’s not that big of a deal #or things along those lines #and she never realized how hard it is to find someone even slightly attracted to #to me #like we sat there and I explained some of my experiences #and she never knew #and then she’s like well you don’t deserce that #and like yes I know that but you’re not understanding the fact that there is a very small majority that would even look in my direction #like we talked over an hour and she still thinks it’s just as easy as ignoring people etc #like I had to explain how the people that I talk to on apps that I’m on plus size and give that disclaimer and hope they don’t unmatch or #just stop talking to me #I don’t know #just like I want more friends that can closer relate to how I feel without having to explain it #I’m not saying my friends can’t or don’t go through similar things #but they are still skinny/average to society’s standards #and that makes it hard to talk about my struggles #if that makes sense #anyway rant over #idek if that made sense #Sams feelings

[hey-scully-itsme]

one of my coworkers seems to have a different understanding of polite refusals than I do and it’s driving me nuts because when I try and hold firm and say ‘no, I’m good, but thank you!’ when she offers me soup for the millionth time she keeps coming back with it. I know social signals can be confusing and some people feel the need to refuse before accepting but we once went back and forth literally for days about one soup until I caved.

#it’s petty office drama and not actually that big a deal but jesus lol #I have no allergies or anything so I have no ironclad reason not to take the food #if I did she’d just make soup without the allergen #and even worse bc she is nice in her own way she’d be careful about cross-contamination and everything #and she’s not really doing anything wrong bc I haven’t shut her down super directly #she’s just trying to be nice as she sees it and she seems to be used to more social workplaces than this one is #but I wish she’d leave me the fuck alone #i can’t shut her down more directly for workplace culture reasons #repercussions would be way more of a problem than her behavior is #she also keeps trying to start intense small talk and there’s no good way to say: #‘hey you seem perfectly nice but I am not interested in being friends with anyone here. can we please keep it friendly but distant’ #and if I give an inch on the small talk so as to prevent getting an oblique scolding from my supervisor again #she takes a mile and then offers me more FUCKING SOUP.

[catboyfurina]

my early childhood education class is really driving home the developmental in developmental disability.... like i knew thats what adhd is classified as but they just keep dropping skill after skill that are standard for Small Children that i do not have D:

#attention span. is of course the one that is most noted but even like #theres that one adhd sway thing and i was like huh i do that guess theres another data point. not a big deal though it doesnt cause any iss #es #right. well. apparently one of the skills youre supposed to get is spatial awareness. and it specifically mentioned going around things #which technically ! i do but also sometimes. quite often even #i do not manage fully around. meanwhile its expected for Small Children to get able to do that. huh what HUH #beeep #like again not getting fully around isnt a Big deal i just get caught on doors and then uncatch myself its not Disabling like other aspects #and if i hadnt seen the youtube (the youtube referencing a study not just a youtube) #i wouldve kept on assuming its just a itty bitty side effect of weird eye #but like......... man. in nearly every area i was like wow i suck at this one wow i suck at this one w #its a good thing im an adult algebra is much easier than counting to one hundred . u can write it down and when u lose your place u just #look at the paper #although i havent gotten algebra in a while i miss it............ but i could go do algebra. if i had time. and thats what is nice #anywayyyyyyy ahaha

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here #so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad #bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk #and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other #bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue #but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying #and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment #and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse #but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains #like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town! #and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like �� bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find #frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is #so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive #and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro #ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices #oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive #with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big #ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria #my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae #ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing #my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project #bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol #ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌 #unrelated

[freebooter4ever]

The nice thing about living five minutes away from work is that if i ever forget something its not the end of the world i just drive home during lunch and pick it up ^_^ i wish our public transport/cities in the US prioritized this over the strange suburban sprawl we seem dedicated to

#Freebooter4ever #I was always forgetting things as a kid and it was always the end of the world #Especially after columb*ne shooting when they took away our lockers and made us carry our books in our backpacks #Suddenly you couldnt leave your textbooks in your locker at school you had to bring them back and forth every day #And that was HARD for a kid with ADHD and very very weird focus issues #Its only been recently from something nicole said on one of her insta stories about like protecting the child you were #That I realized i didnt have to beat myself up and yell at myself in my head anymore for forgetting things #And now even when i do forget things its no big deal i just go back and get it later \o/ #So weird how something so small when we were kids can change how we think about things as adults #Anyway also just thinking about how california was the origin of walt's original e p c o t ideas #And how interesting it would have been if we had let those ideas inform the idiocy that is Los Angeles urban planning #Instead of the greed of car tire companies

[welcometogrouchland]

I am gripping you by the shoulders and begging you to listen when I tell you teens want to be outside so bad. We want to be outside so fucking bad you have no idea

#ramblings of a lunatic #WE DON'T LIKE STAYING INDOORS ON SCREENS ALL DAY EVERYDAY ITS NOT FUN IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD #yes there are exceptions and yes we like to do it more than previous generations but by god if it doesn't take a toll on your mental health #AND WE KNOW THIS BTW. WE'RE COMPLETELY FUCKING AWARE OF THIS FACY #*fact #but it's like. there's such a lack of options sometimes #like for example- i live in a pretty small town. walkable but not without some effort #there's no shopping centre (mall for americans) and maybe 3 parks (one of which is up a hill on the far side of town) #there are community centers but they're underfunded and don't cater to teens- especially not as casual hangout spaces #so like. unless you corall all your friends into one persons house (me and my friends generally go out in a group of 8-10 ppl- #-so while going to one persons house is doable it's not the most convenient and again this a small town. lots of the houses are small too) #or are willing to hangout at a park (a place where there's generally going to be young children and their parents- #-which isn't a deal-breaker by any means but can make kids feel like intrusions or even be perceived as sketchy) #(this is generally what me and my friends have to come to terms with everytime we hangout since we usually do it in the park) #then like. where the hell do you go?? yknow?????? #also plenty of my friends live in rural areas where it's a 20 or 30 minute drive into town and only one of us has his license #all this to say #I'd really love to see some statistics on what the hangout habits of kids from different living areas is like #because i have a feeling that kids who grow up in big relatively walkable cities with public transit and nice hangout spots #are getting out of the house a lot more often than a bunch of lower and middle class teens scattered across rural country spaces- #-and a town with little to no space for them to just exist without doing some kind of activity to justify their presence #this isn't even touching on helicopter parenting that prevents kids from being independent #anyway yeah i wish i was not on my phone so much i enjoy life better when I'm not on it but. god does not love me so <3

[nova-rogue]

nothing more insulting than purposefully creating a female character w really small boobs than to have someone draw her having a huge rack btw

don't do that shit

women out here exist with naturally tiny chests and are tired of it being deemed a bad or unappealing thing especially because it is neither bad nor unappealing and also 25% of men [sorry, no research for this on wlw unfortunately] who like women prefer small chests. there is nothing wrong with this as a body type and often when a character is created this way it's (: on (: purpose (: so (: don't (: change (: it (:

#roguish archetype.txt #file under things i'm gonna have to deal w when i write a book #seeing it happen a LOT with popular characters rn #reze from csm is a big one as well as power too like please it's even a plot point #as well as hu tao from genshin and just. so many other characters lmao #also fat women can have small chests too btw #there's nothing wrong with them #trans women can also develop small chests #small chests are cute and natural and there's nothing wrong with them #(i wear a AA so don't even try me) #(i love myself and my body and i'm cute as hell) #the sheer amount of bullying i put up with for literally a decade was insane #being told how im unappealing and not feminine and being called unfuckable #like this shit isn't okay so (: shut up and let people love their own bodies #if it exists naturally someone finds it attractive btw