#even though i don't live in the us(

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4) #and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!! #(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. ) #anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild??? #so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page. #here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area. #i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

[canisalbus]

About the accents: if someone has a very "proper" Italian they are either foreigners or politicians/dignitaries/etc. So that fits perfectly for Machete, but I think it would be so funny if he sometimes slipped up and used a Nepalese word bc he forgot one in "proper" Italian lol

(Funny to me cause Naples has its own language in addition to accent, and most people don't actually know those words)

.

#ah that's good to hear! #glad it fits him #there's no way he gets it perfect every time #especially in the absence of widely used standardized Italian in the original canon era #there's bound to be a mix up every now and then #I don't know how likely it would be that he absorbed much Venetian at the time he lived there #I remember reading that lectures in medieval and early premodern universities were held in Latin but I could be wrong #even though his original native language is Sicilian I think he has probably lost a lot if not most of it due to lack of use #but it would be kind of funny if the Neapolitan and/or Sicilian influences resurfaced occasionally in private casual conversations #and Vasco who to my knowledge has never been to the south would be left guessing what he was even trying to say #I'm taking the easy way out and lowering their language barriers a bit out of convenience bear with me #I'm not competent enough to deal with all the different languages and dialects and the communication issues that would come with them #answered #anonymous #sorry to point out an obvious typo but I think you must've gotten Neapolitan/Napolese autocorrected to Nepalese by accident or something #unless Machete has secret ties to Nepali that I'm not aware of #which would be quite a twist

[uncanny-tranny]

I know this is a very unoriginal observation (much like any other), but I'm finally reading The Great Gatsby, and even I wouldn't describe men the way Nick does.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #i did watch the 2013 film for my ap english class though (i think they didn't have enough time left for us to actually read it) #like the way he described tom was very. superfluous in my opinion. something you want to tell the class NICK (joking) #i find myself really partial to the general writing styles of that time though #i haven't even gotten that far in the book either i'm just barely past the part where daisy is introduced #so nick is just waffling about his family history and how he rents for $80/month #which is relatable when you consider inflation. nick i hope you eat you landlord #i can see why people don't like this writing but i am endlessly fascinated by the prose #maybe i should just free myself from the impulse to hide behind layers of self-censorship and live like nick does #tbh tho i still prefer non-fiction and textbooks BUT fiction is valuable and is useful #fiction is like play - it lets you explore different possibilities and thought in a safe environment

[awkward-teabag]

Love (cannot emphasis how much sarcasm there is in that word) that an official Canadian government response to high cellphone rates is to switch carriers.

Switch it to what? We basically have three companies since one was allowed to eat the forth (with the government saying it wasn't anti-competition and the company eating the other pinky promising they wouldn't jack rates up). Even the smaller companies have to rent infrastructure from the Big Three so there's only so much they can do if that rent costs an arm and a leg.

And that's not touching on how many "small companies" are actually just subsidiaries of the Big Three. You may save $5 but you're still with Telus/Rogers/Bell.

Or that the actual small companies tend to have shit coverage because they don't have the infrastructure available to them and are prevented from getting it. Or their traffic is throttled in favour of the Big Three's customers. Or both.

Or that they're extremely regional thus aren't an option for a huge chunk of Canada's population.

We have no true options and the government has shown time and again that they're fine with monopolies, in multiple industries, and don't care when said monopolies jack up prices to make shareholders and the c-suite more money at the expense of everyone else. At most there will be a verbal slap on the wrist and a giftcard for $25 that people have to register for, for a decade and a half of price gouging.

It's not talked a whole lot about outside the country from what I've seen and heard but Canada is a country of monopolies. A handful of companies own nearly everything, every province has a family or two that owns a hell of a lot (Nova Scotia is basically owned by one family at this point), and our government ignores it. Even the branch that is supposed to be against monopolies is fine with mergers and takeovers in most cases.

Because, you know, the company said it totally wouldn't use consumers' lack of options to increase prices.

#canada #so much of our infrastructure and critical construction such as housing #has been pawned off for decades to private companies #and i forgot to mention one (1) family owns the bridge that is a major international corridor between canada and the us #which is apparently fine even though they fought tooth and nail to stop a bridge they don't own from being built #like our housing crisis can be traced back to the government deciding to stop building public housing in the 90s #because they figured private developers would pick up the slack #affordable apartments don't bring in much money so we got decades of cheap-ass 'luxury condos' instead #and once airbnb became a thing we got entire buildings with units <300sqft #and of course when the party in charge rotates between conservatives and neolibs nothing changes and that can gets kicked down the road #and keeps getting kicked until something collapses and they see the chance to fully privatize an industry #something similar is happening to our healthcare system too #it has been left to languish for years/decades with funding freezes and cuts #and private companies are quick to jump in and get the government stamp of approval to do [thing] that the public system clearly can't do #when [thing] would absolutely be possible if it was actually funded and/or staffed #so many communities were cut off when greyhound closed up shop because there's no government inter-city transportation #we lost internet/banking/cell service/etc nation-wide because one of the big three decided to push an update to live without redundancies #and it bugged and took the entire company's network down #even the government agency that demands major companies have a backup on a different network was taken down because they ignored that #and they got a deal if they kept their backup with rogers while their main network was also rogers #so they couldn't even make an emergency statement or anything about it #half my province also lost all digital infrastructure because it's a private company and making a redundancy line would mean smaller bonuse #it's just so bad #joke all you want about how canada is nice and friendly #but you are wrong and it's hell if you actually live here #the only reason canada is seen as nice is because it's hard to not seem like the better option when the us is your neighbour #and because of decades of pr work to make canada seem friendly and nice and not at all problematic #in some countries you actually have to try to hide you're canadian because of how much we colonize and the damage we do to other countries #yes these tags have derailed from the post but ugh #i take major issue with people who insist canada is nice and has never done anything wrong

[shimamitsu]

i've been rotating so many mika and shima thoughts in my head since chapter 55 came out so i might as well share them with the skiptuals. please don't take anything i say as a serious analysis or something i'm just loafing here. ok. i think the transition from shima to mika in the last two chapters wasn't unintentional at all. they (and their own arcs) resemble each other in ways i hadn't thought about until i read the latest chapter. let's start with how both of them have kinda "built" a public persona to navigate social situations. because of their respective past experiences, shima thinks that he's worthless if he isn't playing the role of the "perfect popular friendly guy", and mika's changed everything about herself so she could be accepted by other people. they're both insecure kids who have tried to find value in themselves by acting according to what others expected of them or what made others "like them more". but at the end of the day this is just putting a band aid on a major wound because the problem obviously lies elsewhere.

this "persona", "facade", "mask", "role" or whatever you wanna call it is harming them rather than saving them. it protects them from getting hurt, but by doing so they're keeping people at arm's length and stopping themselves from genuinely connecting with others.

that's why letting people get close to them and see through this front they put up is difficult for them, they've gotten used to wearing these masks after all. take mika's fear of rejection or how she was hesitant to stay with the girls in ch15 as an example, or shima being worried about how the way he's perceived by other people can make them dislike him. i think it's interesting how both nao-chan and mitsumi's reassuring words conveyed the same meaning on both occasions. "everyone here is friends with someone who threw up on the first day of school" means that people that love you won't stop doing it because you act a little weird or because you make mistakes (and vice versa!). "it's cute to be embarrased" is another way of saying that putting yourself out there, being vulnerable or trying new things won't be the death of you, what's more, it's endearing. both scenes are trying to communicate the same thing: don't worry, being yourself won't make people hate you (and if they do, who cares?).

or, alternatively:

and on that topic, i think chapter 46 and chapter 55 play the same role in shima and mika's character arcs, respectively. both of these chapters are turning points for them. even if the connotation is different, both mitsumi and nao-chan deliver lines that should be exhibited forever in the skip to loafer hall of fame. mitsumi tells shima, who's always thought that he had to be like this or that to be valuable, that no matter who he is she'd still like him. nao-chan tells mika, who's always wondered if anyone would ever love her as she is, that she will definitely find someone who does. both these statements are direct, sincere and come from people who care about them. they're not empty words, they're not saying this just to cheer them up. these are facts. these words refute their deepest fears.

even if mika and shima's character arcs are going in different directions (and each of them has their own circumstances), both of them are in the process of internalizing these ideas. i'd say mika's getting closer because she's always been the type of person who's in tune with her feelings, unlike shima. it's clear after the last chapter, like how she opened up to nao-chan and how she was ok with mukai listening. but shima's getting there too, this arc was definitely a decisive moment for him. that's why i'm only pointing out a few similarities i've noticed, they're both doing their own thing. and as i said before, they're not alone in their journeys, the people around them are helping them too. you know how nao-chan said in the last chapter that someday mika "will definitely find someone who will love her, warts and all?" i've said in one of my previous posts that even if nao-chan was referring to a romantic partner, i think that what she said can also apply to any kind of relatioship. that's why i believe it's important to mention that the first character who sees beyond mika's facade is... mitsumi! and well, that's because mitsumi is mitsumi. even though mika wasn't very nice to her at first, mitsumi still goes to her and asks for her help. mitsumi's not telling her "i'm overlooking your bad points because there might be something good underneath it all" or something, we know she's not that kind of person. she's looking directly at mika and telling her "because of the way you treated me i know you can help me". she welcomes mika into her life and into the group, warts and all.

and that's not where it ends. kindness is like a domino effect. once you're shown kindness, you can't help extending kindness to someone else. we can see it in the way mika lends her beret to mitsumi when she feels bad about her bangs. nao-chan comforting mika wouldn't be possible if people like mitsumi or goro weren't kind to her first. yuzu talking to mitsumi that one time at karaoke gave her a little confidence to talk to makoto and befriend her. almost 40 chapters later, makoto goes to yuzu after she finds out what happened with her classmates. shima might not even realize, but him helping mitsumi on their first day of school was literally what started it all. and of course, being kind to yourself will come with time too. kindness is a never-ending cycle. kindness moves us into growing, and that's what sukirofa is all about, really.

peace and loaf on planet earth

#where was i going with this? i don't know #seriously no idea i just wanted to write down my thoughts #basically what i wanna say is this arc was perfect. as usual #even though takamatsu surprised us with a nao/mika/mukai focused chapter it still made so much sense for it to wrap up this arc #especially after the shima focused chapters #i wanted to explain how ch54 and ch55 go hand in hand and how that transition was perfect thematically #like. seeing both mika and shima take a step forward in the same arc wasn't a coincidence imo #but i ended up thinking about how mikamitsu friendship is everything to me #i couldn't help mentioning ch46 ok. can u blame me. u can't #anyway live laugh loaf #skipping

[britneyshakespeare]

can you imagine being a little twee simon and garfunkel fan in the late 60s and then buying your new vinyl at the record store and hearing mrs. robinson for the first time in your own home. i would’ve fallen over backwards

#i don't know if i've ever mentioned this--and i dont even remember why this is the case--but mrs. robinson was one of the first songs #that i ever knew in this lifetime. like. when youre a little tiny baby and youre barely aware what music is #and you know the words to the chorus of at most like 15 songs. mrs. robinson was one of those songs and i dont remember why or how #probably my father? he's also the reason that i knew the beatles when i was that young too #he also played a lot of bob marley and elvis. we used to have little dance parties in the living room after watching shrek every night #where he'd play his music. but i cant think mrs. robinson was one of those songs? its NOT a dance song #(i can try though. you cant stop me) #text post #simon and garfunkel #but yes this also does mean allstar by smash mouth was also one of those first primordial songs on my consciousness #mrs. robinson really though is such a beautiful and clever song im never gonna be over it #simon and garfunkel is one of those few bands where their most famous song arguably deserves that status in their discography #altho that did get a little different after i watched the graduate as a teenager lol #but the song. didn't slap any less naturally. it just had a new association #also fun fact i don't know at what age i learned that mrs. robinson was by simon and garfunkel #at least until i was like 10 i thought it was by the beatles?

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[coockie8]

i once had an anti tell me to stop sexualizing their trauma on a story i wrote that was a word for word retelling of my own actual trauma but with names changed and its been 2 years and i still cant stop thinking about that

Ah, yeah... Unfortunately a non-insignificant number of antishippers seem to genuinely believe they own the concept of trauma, so any story they read that they believe to be portrayed in a romanticized or sexualized light therefore must be romanticizing/sexualizing their trauma specifically.

I couldn't tell you the amount of times I've gotten the "stop sexualizing my trauma!!!!!!" or adjacent comments from antishippers that universally garner a response that basically boils down to

Like, bitch! I'm talking about my trauma! I literally did not even know you existed until you fucking commented!

#proship #proshipper #anti bs #just anti things #glad to know antis assuming every story about trauma must be about them specifically seems to be a universal proshipper experience lol #like *how* am I sexualizing *your* trauma when I literally do not even know who you are? #like if you hadn't commented I would've gone my entire life not knowing you even exist #if I had omnipotence like that I certainly would not be using that power to sexualize the trauma of some random fucking stranger! lol #you think my petty ass would be doing *that* instead of the infinitely more infuriating thing of spoiling every show you love at any chance #jokes aside though like seriously get fucking real #I hate to burst your main character syndrome bubble but nobody fucking cares about you #not in the ''nobody loves you and you'll die alone'' sense #but in the ''you are just Some Guy™ and the 8 billion other people on the planet have their own problems to worry about'' sense #if someone is writing about trauma maybe take your self-centred goggles off for 5 fucking seconds #and maybe you'll realise that it is 1000000% more likely this random stranger is writing about *their* trauma #and *not* the trauma of a person whose entire existence they are not even aware of #I do believe the tiktok trend of referring to strangers as ''NPCs'' has at least contributed to this epidemic of main character syndrome #people you don't know are *not* ''NPCs'' you fucking robot! #they are human beings just like you with lives and dreams and loved ones #you just don't know them #sorry but I genuinely think I'd go to jail for murder if I ever heard someone refer to me as an ''NPC'' out in public #'cause genuinely who the fuck do you think you are!?

[ctl-yuejie]

ramblings on Li Ming (and Heart) and homosexuality

moonlight chicken has so many things to offer in terms of technical beauty and interesting themes but what i cannot stop thinking about is the different ways they approach homosexuality in the story.

we have Wen who has a rainbow flag on his desk and pictures of him and Alan on the wall. Wen, who openly flirts with Jim and has no qualms talking openly about his one night stand. Wen, whose step father knows about his sexuality and is close enough with him to discuss his love life.

Kaipa we don’t know too much about. But his mom knows and is supportive and some of the vendors and the chicken family seem to know. But if anyone was questioning in what reality this show is set with all the class discussion and corona featuring, his part of the story shows that homophobia exists and he is worried about how he fits in with his own family, the expectations of his mother and possible the awareness that he makes the family he has “different”.

Jim is arguably even more visibly gay than Wen in terms of what we see throughout the show. He opened the shop with his ex, they prayed at the temple together and even though he objected due to proprities sake eventually they loudly declared their love to each other and the whole neighbourhood knows. Wen somehow feels like he is living in the remnants of a bubble: his circle of friends seems very queer, his closest friend and the whole gym seem to be all part of that as well. This only might change now with him questioning his work and breaking up with Alan: some gatherings he won’t attend anymore apparently.

And finally, we have Li Ming. At school he doesn’t seem to open up to his classmates on most things and additionally is in the closet. While there wasn’t anything alluding to homophobic rethoric being spread at school we can see how the heteronormativity gets to him and feel that there must be good reason as to why no one knows. And it could just be how Li Ming is judging the situation based on vibes, we don’t know. His mother is or at least was homophobic but at the same time he is raised by his gay uncle who is surrounded by other gay people. And I love how it feels like this might have given him enough security to be comfortable with his own sexuality but how it also isn’t enough to shield him from the world at large.

With so many great shows coming out of Thailand and most of them getting more and more political it just feels so real and 2023 to me that Li Ming is part of a generation that knows who they are but still have to battle with the shadow that homophobia has cast way before they were born.

#moonlight chicken #i had this in my draft for a week now thinking if i'd get the time i could put this more leloquently but that was a lie as it turns out #might edit some stuff later #but for now i just have to write about how fantastic this show is for giving these varied realities of queer life #which are all influenced by their environment but also in the way the characters connect across generations #we don't know if him had a gay mentor who could've guided him #whereas li ming technically has him and his neighbourhood friends to reference #but li ming - understandibly so - seems more closeted than anyone else (minus Heart possigly) #in middle school everyone around me proclaimed how supportive they were of lgbt+ rights #but as soon as one guy came out he become the TALK of the school for weeks #he got reduced to his sexuality #and when he dated a girls some months after he got called attention seeking for coming out as gay before #and most people thought they were doing an open-minded thing #and despite knowing that i know that i am not the only queer kid who decided to not come out lest we'd become that talk of the whole school #and our dating lives scrutinized #even though all of us were super comfortable with who we are #and for me that was mostly the case because i had adult lesbian role models close to my family #so i knew i was good and that nothing strange was going on #but still - this othering made the school environment hostile enough to keep me in the closet #so yes - i am extremely delighted with how they depict this dynamic with li ming

[dominote]

i think light yagami is "socially adept" in terms of being able to reason out relatively well what to say and do to come off as a harmless and good and polite young man who is likeable to be around. however i do not think "socially adept" (or "neurotypical") typically comes with having to preface every other normal-passing action and statement with a minor crisis of "ah shit. quick, what would i say/do in response to this if i was light yagami, a normal and nice and respectable young man?"

everyone likes to talk about him talking about kira in third person but can we acknowledge that he also talks about LIGHT in third person. i'm not adding manga panels at 3:57am but y'all know exactly which ones i mean

#light is decent at masking but he is NOT coming off as perfect to anyone who looks at him with a critical eye. like L or near #it's just that a lot of people take him at face value #he's handsome he gets top grades his dad is the police chief his family adores him girls like him etc #and he gets to skate off of that a lot until someone comes around and questions the mask #he unravels so fast once he gets closer to L. he fucks up the misa thing so badly even HE has to admit to L's face #that kira probably didn't think things through with the second kira and kind of panicked #ughhhhhhhhhhh i have so many thoughts about him. he works very hard to come off as socially competent. it's a learned skill not innate #i firmly believe there is some shit going on w light in terms of mental conditions. HOWEVER #i also believe he was relatively 'normal' up until the death note sent a lot of that shit spiralling #lots of mentally ill people live pretty normal lives it turns out! a lot of us can get by and sort of manage! #even if it means masking and coping as needed #i don't think you have to be mentally ill to react to the death note the way light did #i do think it oiled some clockwork that was already ticking though #anyway. light is socially competent to some degree because he tries to be. sometimes it backfires. sometimes he misses. normal stuff #trying to say he is objectively socially adept or inept is futile though #but ig what is death note without black and white thinking and what is the dn fandom without diving into the nuances under the surface layer

[icewindandboringhorror]

reminders of the passage of time moodeboard

#my blog is in his last year of middle school. he'll be off to high school next year (at least I think so..? 13 yrs old is usually 8th grade #at least from my experience. 9th graders are usually 14. 10th are 15. etc. etc. and then you're in 12th grade #and graduate high school usually 17yrs old.) ANYWAY.. wow he is so ancient.. #maybe he's still in a preteeny early teen emo phase or something.. I hope he gets some black and white striped armwarmers and black eyeline #r for his birthday. Maybe an MP3 player of course. Though because I don't really like most alternative music and he is my son he's actually #not allowed to listen to metal or pop punk or emo rock whatever stuff. I open the mp3 player and pre-stock it with only #disco and funk and classical music. he can have a little chiptune or techno stuff as a treat (sometimes emo adjacent maybe more #scene. I think a lot of scene kids were into that more.. emo's weird eccentric brother)) #Also he starts taking iron pills his 13th birthday because he's probably incredibly anemic just like me #so on and so forth and et cetera (I'm just being silly.. I am not pro-controlling your children down to whatmusic they #listen to or etc.etc. lol) #THOUGH I love that it's in january... january is one of my favorite months if not my favorite. yeeaaay #just such a nice cool month. I like that it's the start of the year mostly and that it's sometimes snowy here. Like where I live nov - dec #isnt really actually snowy?? You always associate those winter Months with snow but I think snow happens later on this coast #so it's more like Jan - March or even april sometimes. Though that may just be climate change lol.. But it's cool that Jan is winter AND #ACTUALLY snowy. plus the Beginning Of Year vibes and energy.. hrm... nice nice.. ANYWAY #AND this is not even my first tumblr blog. I had a different one before it I think.. #evviilll to be on one website for so long lol.. Very thankful that most websites I used to use as a 10 year old or whatever #are now defunct. There's something weird about how humans are just creating endless streams of words and pictures and all of this stuff #and it just goes out into the void and stays there long after the person themselves has forgotten it. not even like 'oh no what if i said #something bad!!' but more just the general sense of.. people create so much more ideas than they can actually hold in their heads. nobody #remembers exactly word for word every post they've ever made or etc. It's like parts of yourself that you've externalized and then fade awa #from you but they're still you but they're not so you just have little snapshots of yourself in time floating around entirely unbenknownst #to you. like making clones of yourself and then forgetting you did so but every once in a while going 'shit... there's clones out there.. #of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me #n.. or maybe you dont.. hrmm... ANYWAY #I am just now slightly recovering from my most recent mysterious illness spell and etc. so I would like to post more again and mAYBE even #do a costume if I'm being ambitious.. but after so many times of being randomly stricken by problems I'm now fearful of ever being too #hopeful lol.. always like 'I would like to go to the grocery store tomorrow! .... MAYBE.. if i CAN.. possibly... NOT getting my hopes up'. #etc. etc. etc. every statement has a caveat and a backup plan and so on and so forth and such is life.. anyway. happy birthday evil tumblr

[ante--meridiem]

I kind of expect some people to get mad at me for this but I do find it deeply ironic how I've recently seen fanfic writers of all people turn into staunch supporters of intellectual property.

#I don't even just mean ai discourse stuff though god knows how many bad ip takes that has generated #Which at this point I'm annoyed by enough to unfollow over #But I've seen people say that you shouldn't use someone's idea in ways they don't like #Because that's disrespectful of their boundaries #And it's like. Ok so you think Anne Rice was totally in the right to try to come down on iwtv fic then? #You can't even big creators vs small creators your way out of this one #Because we're talking about uses that don't make anyone any money so it's not about protecting small creators' ability to make a living #It's an argument about boundaries and respect #Which... you think apply this way to you but not to Anne Rice because...? #Vagueblogging #Fanfic is literally based on 'if you put a story/idea out there it is fine and ethical to have whatever other story thoughts inspired by it #And put those out there too in turn provided you mark them as such'

[cerise-on-top]

Hello! Are you still writing hcs?

Graves with a spouse(writing this as a husband for him myself 🥰) who loves sewing and knitting, or some something amongst 'cozy hobbies' like embroidery, reading, poetry or baking. Just wondering How a relationship would be between them or how Graves would act.

Your writing is very lovely btw! I fell in love with it, very beautiful!

Hello! I am still writing HCs, it'll probably be a little bit longer until I take a proper break! That was a really cute request, I liked that one! Domestic and sweet stuff like that is always the best, so thank you for bestowing a request like that upon me! (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡

Graves with a Spouse with Cozy Hobbies

As mentioned already, Graves loves feeling like the big, strong, useful man in the relationship, so he’d absolutely love you even more if you have “soft and cozy” hobbies like the ones you mentioned. While he is very much a talker, something like knitting can be done while holding a conversation, so he’ll definitely talk to you as you work on your next project. He thinks it’s really awesome, the way your hands move so quickly to create something like a sweater, a scarf, or even a plushie. You don’t really look at him, way too absorbed in your project and not wanting to make even a single mistake, but you still spend time with him. It’s ideal, he can tell you the newest, juiciest gossip among his Shadows while you make him the coziest sweater he’s ever seen. Lets you measure him, if you need and want to, because he really wants that sweater. You wanna put a cute little motif, like a cup of coffee on it as well? He’ll fall in love even more than before.

But even when he’s tired, he wants to spend his time with you. Instead of talking, he’ll lean against you and watch you crochet a bit before nodding off ever so slowly. It’s nice, it’s repetitive, for the most part, and it’s also quiet. By the time he wakes up he gets to see more of your beautiful creation, so that’s a big plus. And when he isn’t dozing off against you, he’s more than happy to hold your yarn and make it a bit longer when you need it. There’s something magical about watching you crochet. He had to crochet in elementary school, but, since he didn’t want to sit down for something like that, he wasn’t very good at it. His strengths always lied elsewhere, so it’s fascinating to him that you can sit in the same position for hours on end, barely moving, and still having fun. The only time he has to do that is when he’s filing reports, and afterwards he needs something to take his mind off of those.

Graves, every time he’s about to go out without you, will always ask you if you need anything from the arts and crafts stores, willing to buy you the loveliest fleece for felting if you ask him for it. Hell, if you want to sell your plushies, or your creations in general, he’s probably the best man to have on your side. Especially when it comes to plushies. Some of his Shadows have families with children, so he knows some of them would love your creations. Might sometimes ask you if you could knit or crochet a baby wooly hat for one of them, if you have the time, since his Shadows know you can be trusted with a task like that. You will always be reimbursed, either by his Shadows or by Graves himself. Sometimes he does like to gift his Shadows something you made and pretend they bought it. You’ll always get your money, but it might sometimes be out of Graves’ pocket.

He definitely likes the domesticity of it. He can go about his day, certain you won’t get hurt, unless you’re sewing or embroidering. But he’d never stop you from pursuing a craft like that. In fact, he’ll actively encourage you, always asking about your projects and wanting to know if he can help you in any way. He wants to see your embroidery, your crocheting, your sewing, as well, so he might gently pick it up from time to time, view it from every angle and give you feedback a la Graves, praising you like only he could.

When you’re a baker you can be sure he’ll taste test your stuff every single time. He has a bit of a sweet tooth, not too much, but he loves you, so he’s willing to eat everything you make. If you’re up making cookies, then he’ll help you by either buying you the best, most reliable hand mixer he can find, or by stirring the dough himself so your arms won’t get too tired. This he does under the condition that he gets to be the first person to try your cookies, your cake, your cobbler. He may not be the worst baker, but he can still learn a lot from you. That he does with all the love in the world, looking at you with an adoring expression as you put the baked goods in the oven, waiting for them to finish. Always has a big smile on his face when he watches you be this content with your life. While you wait for it to properly bake, he’d sometimes ask you to play card games with him. Always lets you win on purpose during those times since you always look so happy when you win. Afterwards he rewards you with a kiss.

While he may be everything but a fan of poetry, he can respect you being one. Will listen to everything you have to say about them, from your analyses to you reading one out loud. If you have a few poets you like especially well then Graves will bend his back trying to find beautiful anthologies of their works. Maybe some books with a few gold engravings that would look well on a shelf. He wants you to know that, despite him not being interested, he still supports you. While you’re reading a book, he might sneak up on you, startle you and then take you into his arms, trying to get you comfortable so you can continue to read. Might glance at your book from time to time to get a feeling for what you’re reading. If it’s something especially cheesy he might chuckle a bit and call you out on being a hopeless romantic, giving you a kiss to your nose afterwards.

Overall, he likes it. It’s nice, not having to worry about you going god knows where and ending up injured. Besides, he always has something nice to come home to, whether that be some beautiful embroidery of violets or a Sachertorte you made from scratch. Will always praise you for doing well, will always make sure you have the means to keep creating, baking and reading. Does his best to keep it that way as well, you’re his precious little darlin’ and you deserve the world and so much more in his eyes.

#cod #cod x reader #phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #I know there are a lot of us who feel that way but I am one of the many people to have a love-hate relationship with Graves #would I beat the living daylights out of him if he ever talked to me? yes #would I also tend to his wounds if I found him injured and in pain? absolutely #he also sort of made me realise that a southern accent is actually kind of charming #apparently people from the south also grill religiously which is lovely since my parents do the same so I'm used to that #Graves is a stinker and I'd rather get pulped than admit I like him #even so it's lovely to see Graves' husband come here and tell me something cute and sweet! kudos to you for being open about him! #I used to hate him. then I struggled to hate him. now I hate him again but I'd put a Hatsune Miku bandaid on him if he cut himself #stupid idiot and yet I follow a few people on here who pretty much only post about Graves with a few others here and there #mans is an enigma to me I don't know what to make of him at all except he's kind of fun #good to see I get to write about him as well though!

[uncanny-tranny]

A really sinister aspect into how people view children and parents is the idea of children being a replaceable commodity.

I've seen this in the way people talk about parents who have lost children but have surviving children... "Oh, at least you have other children," as though a child is just an interchangeable tool, a machine that dispenses what you want from it without it being sentient, whole, and feeling. The fact that people say that in order to comfort somebody shows, to me, how deep this mindset is engraved in people's brains: children are interchangeable items, and they do not fundamentally matter.

#youth rights #child death tw #child death mention tw #grief tw #death tw #death mention tw #ask to tag (genuine) #i won't get into specifics but it's been a huge problem and something you notice if you've gone through it/have a loved one going through i #and it's insulting to the child's memory but also to their siblings... #...because you are treating them like the back-up child. the spare tire. the third wheel. the one who is only cherished when they are Of Us #no longer are they a person. no longer are any of those children actual humans. they're just Things To Be Toyed With #how could that not make you sick to your stomach to even *think* about saying to the bereaved? #i don't think this is just a one-off statement but rather is indicative of a larger problem #because there is a Reason people think it comforting to say 'oh but you have OTHER children; chin up! 😊' #it honestly makes me sick to have even written this post because of how horrific the subject is #but it's still... we need to change this shit. this is plain cruelty. plain and simple. thoughtless and distant cruelty #and yes: people say this to be compassionate and are almost never cruel in their reasoning for saying this... #...that is the PROBLEM though. the problem is that it's seen as OKAY to say this to people whose lives have been destroyed in one fell swoop #the problem's that it's seen as OK to turn children into collectible objects that you can 'get over' like you get over losing a broken glass

[your-fave-is-christian]

I have a dumb question, and I really hope this doesn’t sound rude. What’s the logic for some of the characters? Like, if they’re the “hero” in their storyline, but they don’t seem to follow Biblical doctrine… does that even count? I’m sorry if that sounds snotty; I don’t mean to have an attitude.

No, you're fine!!

Short answer: I don't know, I'm not the one sending in the characters 😂

But really I would say there's not necessarily a consistent logic that they have to fit. That's part of the beauty of Christianity, isn't it? Anyone who repents and believes is welcome; it's not limited to any certain type of people. For the characters people are sending in here, I think there are a few categories. There are some that fit what you said, who already hold Christian morals and who one could easily headcanon as being Christian within the story. Sometimes people send in villains who they want to have redemption arcs and become Christian. Sometimes it's characters who are Christian; mostly it's characters people would like to see become Christian.

#my favorite character who i headcanon as Christian is one who generally has very Christian morals and really wants to do good #but also lies a lot. and i think in that case it's like i could see him being Christian in the story #because Christians aren't perfect and even people who don't have their whole act together can believe #I'm not justifying continuing to do wrong. I'm trying to figure out how to phrase it #i think there's some post I've seen about how even terrible characters who do terrible things can be Christian #if they're repentant i think? point being that all of us are sinners and a character doesn't have to be perfectly good to be a believer #because none of us are. and a line from a song i know 'though I'm wretched i am not faithless' about a character who #has done bad things and is struggling to reconcile his actions with God's love and forgiveness #anyway. i was saying the character i like comes across to me as an imperfect Christian but also as someone who could really benefit from #learning and growing in the faith. i want to see that character grow morally stronger and become more like Jesus!!! #it would be good for him 🤷‍♀️ #and that's kinda the point of most of the characters people send. they either seem like they could genuinely BE Christian #or are characters people think really need Christianity in their lives #sometimes it's 'this character seems Christian' and sometimes it's 'i like this character and want them to become Christian' #i think characters who don't follow Biblical doctrine fall under either imperfect and learning Christian or needs Jesus in their life #ask