#even though im a fucking college kid who needs that money for her future

[gutsfics]

what are your headcanons for the hss prime characters after high school? who goes to college? what do they major in? for any that don't go to college, what do they do instead? any post-high school romance hcs? anything else you want to share?

ok so first of all, my prime world takes place begining in 2014, with Simon being a sophmore when he becomes a student at Berry High so he & most of the other main characters graduate in 2016, with choices hss taking place the year after in 2017, so the only prime students still attending Berry High during the events of choices hss are Mia and Katherine (also pb was wrong for breaking them up and never putting Katherine in choices 💞)

as for majors/the futures of these characters (in no particular order) (also not all of these r as thought out as others) (also also im not doing every a-lister or whatever the fuck hss prime calls them. thats too much man. if u wanna know about em ask about em seperately):

Ezra would take a few courses at a community college so he has at least a little college experience before he signs back on with.... whatever record label the band had signed on w in the story i forgor. he plays guitar for Lisa Valentine and also has his own solo career, but every now and then Kingslayer will put out an album together when they all have the time to. he marries Wes in Vegas while on tour to give Wes an alibi for something, but they've had feelings for each other for a while. Eventually Simon joins their relationship & the three of them raise a kid together

Payton would get a degree in communications and become an events coordinator. every time a friend (from high school or otherwise) says they want to have some kind of event, she always tries to plan it for free or discounted but they convince her to take the money lol also she and her partner are foster parents!!!

for Koh, i love how in choices she decides to do premed in community college!! i think she eventually does her residancy at Edenbrook, where the only attending she respects is one Dr Baxter Lucafont, for the time they stole from a big pharma company to help a paitent that wasn't even their's (also all the doctors that helped them pull it off, but in a different way). also Zaid and Esme. i can see them being friends lol

Kallie gets a degree in library science and becomes a capital L Librarian in Boston, where she and Koh reconnect & start dating <3

also like in choices canon (but this was mentioned in prime a few times as well) Wes' intention is to go to law school and study criminal justice, but it kind of... takes a while for him to do it. while he's in community college for undergrad, he just kind of gets an antsy feeling that he could be doing things to help people now instead of waiting around to get a degree, so he drops out for a bit to do what he can, even if it isnt technically """legal""". he starts looking back into it after he and Ezra get married, but he pauses again when they (+ Simon) have their kid bc he doesn't want to be the kind of dad that his own father was. he does go back to community college during this time, but he does as much of it as he can online so he can be a sahd until their son is old enough to not need him around so much. then he fucking kills it in law school (he doesnt go to one of those fancy schmancy ivy leauges though, just a state university) and becomes an associate at Ricci, Lee, Tanaka

Julian gets a scholarship to do football in college, and while he is good enough to be scouted for professional teams, he isn't sure if its what he wants to do beyond school. he's always been Macho Football Boy, but he's not sure if that's all he wants to be forever, yknow? like he's smart. not Nishan, straight a's, 4.0 gpa smart but he's never at risk to lose his scholarship bc his acedemics are too low. i might change my mind on it later, but i think he might get a degree in physical education (& he's good at it. none of that "run the mile. no i wont tell you how to stretch or keep yourself from hurting yourself. just go as fast as you can" bs, he actually teaches his students how to work out safely and correctly, bc working out can be fun if you know what you're doing)

Autumn would go at Hollywood U, bc while it is mostly a film school, it does have some very good classes in the classical arts and photography. i don't have much of an idea of what she'd do beyond that though. its Autumn! what else is there to say. (also my version of Autumn isnt whitewashed to hell and back like she is by the time she's in choices ill forever be mad about that)

Mia would become a manager. Ezra's manager! i think she'd get her degree at HWU as well. she and Katherine would take a breif break from dating each other but ultimately they'd get married. no kids, but they are the Cool Aunts to their friends kids

Katherine would double major in English and Music and become a playwrite professionally. Mia is her manager as well <3 sometimes she and Ezra will collab on a musical together

Nishan will get as many STEM degrees as fast as he can. dude has like 5 phds and hasnt slept since high school. he eventually gets an author husband who he met online bc said author husband was curious about how some science thing worked so he could write it correctly for a science fiction novel. i literally just invented his author husband so i know nothing about him yet. but i did misspell the word "him" so i think his name will be Jim

Sakura gets a degree in computer science and starts her own indie video game company. its very successful

Ace gets into an ivy league college and gets a degree in political science, then works his way up from local politics to national politics. he's still trying to get Simon to run for president.

Max also gets a football scholarship at the same college as Julian, but he stays with football professionally though. i think he'd be at risk to losing the scholarship due to grades bc he was able to coast through high school thanks to Dad Principal so he enlists Julian to help him. Julian eventually begrudgingly agrees and they tolerate each other until graduation. at some between starting college and graduating, he and Simon will end up back in Cedar Cove together and become.... well friends with benefits isnt the right term because theyre not friends. i think he'd fall for Simon but Simon would be like "ummm.no" and cut the relationship off there

Kara goes to HWU and becomes an actress. at first she and Autumn mostly just ignore each other bc while she stopped bullying her they're not exactly friends. until they get paired up for a project they both have a class in & gradually become friends. and then girlfriends.

and now Simon. my guy. my boy. Si-guy. Slimeon. my son. he graduates high school a little early so he can focus on his gymnastics career and go to the Olympics. he does really good. good enough to place bronze his first year. but also his first year compeating, he breaks his foot real bad about half way through his routine. he doesnt realize until someone points it out to him though, he thinks he just landed a little funny and pulled a muscle. during the time his foot is healing is when he and Max have their weird little gay thing and also he decides that he doesn't want to keep doing gymnastics professionally. it was fun, but he's ready for something else now. he kind of just does whatever he wants, from working in haunted houses, to acting, to joining Ezra on tour and playing the violin during some concerts. mostly though he's Wes and Ezra's trophy boyfriend and dad #3 to their son

and i think thats everyone? lol lmao

#high school story prime #high school story #oc: Simon Klein

[descendantofthesparrow]

Interlude - Rewrite POYW - Part 5 - Future vision and new VKs

=

-two days later(August 2016)-

Uma perked up from the small sea glass bead bracelet she was working on, a smirk growing on her face as you appeared from the brush of the forest and walked toward her, a black bag in your right hand full of food. “Took you long enough, I even started working on this!” Uma held up the unfinished bracelet and set it to her side, making grabby hands at your bag as you stepped closer to her “Gimmie, I know you brought pineapple wedges.”

You laughed a bit and held out the bag to her, taking the bag off your back and taking out a towel and laying it down on the sand before sitting next to Uma “I brought your pineapple wedges” which Uma was already getting into “Some mac and cheese that Gil made, chicken breast, cornbread, and some packs of apple juice. bone app a teeth” Uma gave you a look at your last couple of words but shook her head at your grin.

“Weirdo” she mumbled, pulling out the containers filled with chicken and a fork, popping open the lip, and chowing down “Damn, who made the chicken?”

“Someone in the kitchen” you chuckled, picking up the box of cornbread and grabbing one to eat “Harry, Gil, and I didn’t feel like eating in the cafeteria last night so we took some of the food from the kitchen that the students have access to that was in the ‘take whatever you want’ fridge that the chefs load up with so much shit, and Gil made the mac and cheese like a day ago, everything is pretty fresh” Uma shoveled some of the mac and cheese into her mouth and groaned, her eyes fluttering.

“Fuck that’s good, even on the isle Gil was a good chef, he needs to cook more” you laughed at that, grabbing a box of apple juice and stabbing it into the top.

“He does, he makes bomb cookies too.” Uma perked up at that, giving you a look that said ‘bring me the cookies or I drown you’ “Hey! Don’t give me that look! Next time he makes cookies I’ll bring ‘em, okay??” Uma continued to stare at you with that look before nodding, satisfied with your answer.

“So?” Uma swallowed her food and dug out an apple juice box from your back, pointing at you with it in her hand “Updates, what happened with the new vks? I saw the limo go in and out two days ago.”

“Complete success, we got Harriet, CJ, Sammy Smee, Skipper and Sterling, and Dizzy all off the isle, and they’re all at the dorms now, Harriet’s gonna be transferred to the college next quarter and school starts next-next week” Uma nodded at your explanation, twirling the fork in her hands. “Your hair looks really good by the way” Uma looked at you, a soft smile on her face.

She had undone her braids about a week ago, to let the ocean water properly flow through the strands, and now rested against her back and shoulders in thick curls. “Thank you” she hummed, picking at her cornbread “I've been trying to get the…shrimp smell out”

You furrowed your brows and reached up, stopping yourself a few inches from her hair “May I touch your hair?” Uma glanced at you, slightly surprised you had asked, and nodded. Tilting her head a bit as you gently tugged on a lock of her hair. “it’s really soft, and personally I don’t smell anything bad, especially not shrimp, more…the ocean and coconut” Uma laughed a bit as you released her hair and set your hand back on your knee.

“I've been using coconut to take care of my hair…good to know it's working” you smiled to yourself as a soft grin grew on Uma’s face, one of her hands reaching up and curling a lock around her finger.

“Yeah… Evie's business is picking up” Uma raised her brow, as if saying ‘nice subject change, and I care why?’ “Well” you laughed, pushing Uma’s shoulder a bit as she rolled her eyes “hold up a moment im getting to the good part, but her business is picking up and Harry works for her as a model” Uma’s brows raised at that, “Told you, anyway he works for her as a model and with her business picking up, he models for her more often and she's paying him for it, soooo Harry’s getting fucking moneys~”

Uma hummed and picked at her chicken slice “Really? How much?” you grinned, making Uma sit up and grab at your shoulders “Okay how fucking much is Harry making from modeling; because that grin tells me he’s already rich.”

“He very well might be in a year or two” you laughed, gently removing her hands from your shoulders and readjusting your sitting position. “somewhere between 30 and a thousand per paycheck” Uma gave you a blank stare for a few moments before she rolled her eyes.

“Okay don’t tell me then, sheesh” you fell back as you laughed, Uma twisting around and sitting cross-legged, picking up another apple juice box and sipping at it.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry, um, Harry and Evie said it should increase as her business grows n stuff, but right now he’s making about eight hundred a paycheck.” Uma turned to you with wide eyes, mouth dropping open slightly in shock.

“whaaat?!” she screeched, dropping the now empty apple juice box into the sand “Eight-hundred?! That’s more-that’s more than I've made in a month at my ma’s shop!!” you laughed a bit, nodding your head as Uma continued to stare at you bewildered.

“Yeah, he’s already put a lot of it into a savings account, something about getting an apartment for us in the future with room for the Smee boys and his sisters if they ever needed a place to stay, but that won't be for another year or two since you have to be 18 to rent an apartment without parental permission.” Uma smiled a bit, Harry was one to think of the future, even on the isle. He would stash away rubies and gold coins in a savings stash under a floorboard in his old apartment for when they got off the isle.

“That sounds nice, make sure he gets one with a pool for me yeah?” you laughed again, shaking your head a bit as you and Uma side fist-bumped.

“I’ll make sure of that yeah” you took out your phone and sighed, standing from the beach and wiping the sand from your pants “I got to go, Ben wanted me for a meeting at 1, I'll get the bag when I come back tomorrow, see you!” Uma accepted the crouch side hug from you and waved you off, casting a spell to keep water off and out of the containers of food and the bag as she packed it up and dove into the sea, swimming back out to her mother's old hideout.

She slowed to a stop in front of the main opening, stepping through the air bubble she had made a while back and snapping her fingers, the water disappearing off her body by magic. “There we go” she mumbled, swinging the backpack off her shoulder and walking over to the “kitchen” area of the old hideout. She stashed away the food into the “fridge” aka old spell and potion cabinet that she had cast a cold holding spell onto to turn it into a makeshift fridge.

With a wave of her hand, her clothes transformed from a tank top and calf cut cargo pants to a long-sleeved red shirt with a hook stitched to the chest and black leggings. She stretched her arms behind her back and groaned as her back pop slightly.

Uma sighed and looked around the hideout, eyes landing on the claw-shaped cauldron in the middle of the room. it was odd, being in her mother's famous lair, but…also comforting, in a strange way.

She couldn't explain it, but…she felt safe. Probably because the only people that came around here were teens or kids on a dare and were easily scared off. So Uma was pretty much alone in the deep of the ocean.

Uma walked over to the little corner she had turned into her bedroom and sat on her bed, picking up the orange blanket you had given her cotillion night and curling it around her, staring off into space as she thought about…well everything.

From the new vks, the transfer plan, her boys, you, the isle, the vks still on the isle…the future was so unknown, what she would give for just a glimpse, just so she wasn’t so scared for it.

wait

Uma’s eyes widened, drifting between the clawed cauldron and a small set of books that were hidden behind her mother's vanity.

She could see into the future!

Uma lept off her bed and towards the books, pulling them out until she found one with the symbol of twisting water and tentacles appeared in her hands “there you are” she whispered, she had gone through these books when she found the lair and in them, she found hundreds of spells and potion instructions ranging from simple hair or visualization spells to transfiguration and curses.

“Future vision, future vision, future-ah!” Uma landed on the page she needed and stood, walking over to the cauldron and conjuring a stand for her to set the book on. She set it down and read the instructions, it seemed she would need to both make a potion and use an incantation.

“Okay, I got this” she let out a breath, rubbing her hands together as she spun around and walked over to her mother's old ingredient cabinet.

The tail of a sea worm, the clenched fist of a long-dead merman, the head of a fish, wings of a dust fairy pixie, and the eye of a seer. She carried the items over to the cauldron, casting a levitating spell to keep them next to her as she reviewed the spell.

“Okay, okay I got this” she took another breath, opening the caldron and tossing the ingredients in, leaning back a bit as smoke and vapor released from the cauldron. “Oof, okay”

Uma took one last look at the book, muttering the incantation to herself as she held the eye of a seer above the cauldron.

Finally, as she dropped the eye into the brew, and she clutched her necklace as the incantation echoed around her.

“Though winters past and summers morn, the future will be shown/the sight clear and sounds echo, I see into a world unknown”

Uma leaned back a bit as golden shimmering dust rose from the cauldron, slowly forming into a shape…of the isle. “The isle?” Uma mumbled, leaning closer to the image, squinting as she watched the golden magic bridge build and a limo enter the isle, the main bridge part looked very different than the rundown broken castle-like area she was used to, it looked to be rebuilt with signs on the front. “They’re getting more kids, when is this?”

The isle disappeared and was replaced with the image of a golden calendar, showing the present date then suddenly the pages were torn off at a rapid pace, Uma desperately trying to keep up with the passing dates before it stopped.

Uma blinked and looked closer, her brows furrowing as she looked at the circled date. “August 2nd…2019?!” Uma took a step back, her hands clenching at her side, three years? The vision she had seen before was in almost three years? But…it could possibly be one of many pick-ups? “How many vks have been picked up between the six from two days ago and the vks from the vision just before” Uma hoped the spell worked like this, she was in for shit if it didn’t.

Thankfully, that’s how the spell seemed to work, the image of the calendar disappeared and the sand like magic stayed dormant, shifting within the caldron…it seemed the spell didn’t know how to answer that question “Maybe I need to make it clearer?” Uma hummed, tapping her fingers against the rim of the cauldron before it came it her “How long will it be between the six vks two days ago and the next transfer of vks.”

The calendar appeared again, now first showing the date of two days ago, and then ripping off the pages rapidly “Oh no.” Uma muttered, sinking down to her knees slightly as the calendar stopped at August 2nd 2019 again. “two and a half years? Seriously?! What the fuck?!” Uma growled and knocked over the stand that held the spellbook and whirled back around at the cauldron “Why does it take so long!?”

The calendar disappeared again and was replaced with a long table with about twelve people sitting around it, and she could recognize King Ben sitting at the end, his head held in his hands as the others all held a hand up, glowering at the young king. “His council?” Uma murmured, looking at the faces of the people to see if she recognized anybody, only able to pick out Aurora mother, who had her hand up, and ex-king Luis, Cinderella’s father-in-law, who had his hand down, seeming to be on Ben’s side of whatever they were debating.

“What did they vote for?” Uma asked, biting her lip as the council disappeared and a paper took its place, the top reading ‘Application for juvenile Reunification’. Uma furrowed her brows, confused for a moment before she kept reading, rage bubbling in her gut as she did. “They have to fucking apply??! Just to get the freedom they deserve?! Do they agree to this?!”

The application disappeared and was replaced with the moving image of Ben and (y/n), Harry glaring at the king just behind (y/n). (y/n) was yelling, so was Ben, both motioning to the paper in (y/n)s hand. “That must be the application thing or whatever” Uma muttered, smirking as (y/n) crumbling it in her fist and shook it in Ben’s face.

Ben seemed to nod and point at it, and Uma leaned in reading his lips ‘that’s what I want to do (y/n), but I can’t! When they overrule me, I can't do anything about it! I’m sorry, but if we don’t go by their rules then we don’t get kids off the isle im sorry!’

(y/n) shook her fist in his face again and turned, walking towards Harry and burying her face in his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and glared at Ben, Uma leaning in again to read their lips. Ben spoke first ‘I am sorry, I’ll try to get everything ready as soon as possible, but some of it is going to take almost two years, maybe almost three! Especially the shelter and cps agency, and the council required those to be done before we can even send out the applications’ Harry stared at Ben for a moment before looking down at (y/n) and pulling her tighter into him.

‘Get it done beasty boy’ Harry seemed to growl, his lip set in a slight snarl ‘and quick, if this takes longer than yeh say, you’ll be hanging from the mast’ Ben nodded, turning back to his desk and picking up a thick folder.

‘I'll hold you to that’ Ben said back, about to say something else but the image disappeared before Uma’s eyes before he could finish.

“Dammit,” Uma muttered, rubbing her with her palms as she grit her teeth. It was the same reason they had taken so long after Ben had promised to get her off the isle after the coronation, the council kept pushing back everything, so stuck in their old ways of thought that they just couldn’t bear to have more vks in Auradon.

“Bastards” Uma growled, standing from the floor and looking back in the cauldron, it seemed the spell had finished, and she wouldn’t be able to ask any more questions about the future. “Ben, (y/n), I hope to Hades you don’t fuck this up for those kids”

-

Celia couldn’t help but keep her eyes locked on the spot where the Auradon limo had been parked only two days ago, the spot where Dizzy had left her on the isle.

Dizzy had promised to get her off next, whispering it in Celia’s ear as Dizzy hugged her tightly just before she left. Dizzy was hardly one to break a promise, even in a place where promises were never kept, so Celia trusted her.

She just hoped that trust wouldn’t be proved wrong.

Celia sighed, looked at her watch, and realized she had to go pick up some stuff for Hades before her usual fortune-telling shift in front of the arcade.

She quickly traveled to the market and snatched up some cans of corn, cans of refried beans, and a large loaf of bread, that was only a day past its baking date. Celia took another loaf for herself and her dad, suppressing the smile she had as she walked towards the mines.

it was nice having actual food to eat, Celia no longer went hungry every other night and no longer needed to scrounge for money to get the food that was being kept on the market thanks to Harriet's crew that was making sure the merchants weren’t keeping the food away from everybody due to selling it at a high price as they usually did for the better food as they did before the program.

“Celia~” A velvety voice cooed behind her, and Celia turned, raising her brow as she spotted Ginny Gothel, Mother Gothel’s daughter. Ginny Gothel was a flirt, a heavy-set young woman who dared to blow a kiss to Harriet and survive. her dark curly hair was in a short bob that showed the shaved part of her neck. her face, which was always either set in a glare or a flirtatious smirk, was painted with dark makeup. she collected crystals and rings to adorn herself, black and dark red fabrics flowed around her body when she strut down the market place with pride. she was a part of the older villain kids, so respect came with her presence.

“Celia darling~” Ginny cooed; Celia just slowly nodded to show she was listening “do you think you can ask Dizzy if she's got an opening? I need a touch up” Ginny's hand reached up and brushed against the back of her neck where her hair was beginning to overgrow where it was supposed to be. Celia huffed, fixing her grip on her supplies for hades.

“First, I ain't in charge of her and you can go find out yourself I ain't your errand rant, second, Dizzy left two days ago” Ginny's eyes went wide at that “She's in Auradon now, with all those prissy people, so tough luck, eh?” Ginny groaned and leaned heavily back against the wall she was next to, throwing her arm over her eyes.

“Noooo how am I ever going to get my hair cut now?! Dizzy was the only one to understand exactly what I needed!...” her arm dropped to her side as she pouted, looking back at Celia who just stared at her with bored eyes “Well I could go to the hearts salon but I do not trust that mad queen with those sheers”

“Suck it up and get it cut you weenie” Celia snarked, smirking as Ginny scoffed at her and walked off, presumably to the queen of hearts salon.

Celia shrugged Ginny's dramatic attitude off and made her way to the mines.

-

Ginny sighed dramatically, rubbing her hands against the back of her neck again, she really did need a touch-up. But Dizzy was in Auradon and she was the only hair person Ginny trusted with her hair. The last time she went to the hearts salon she ended up with the wrong cut and length.

But then again. Ginny stopped in the middle of the street, hands on her hips as she pouted at the floor, she really-really needed a touch-up on her undercut.

Fuck it, if it got fucked up, she’d fix it herself.

She twisted on her heel and walked over to the side of the isle that housed the red-hearts salon. She pushed the main door open and crossed her arms, her dark amber eyes scanning the customers and workers.

“Ey darling, you here for a cut or a dye?” Ginny turned, smirking as she locked eyes with one of her closest cohorts on the isle, Colin Hearts. The only other person she trusted with her hair, she had hoped they were working today, and lucky for her they were.

Colin was a lanky teen, their heels making them seem taller than they really were. they always seemed to wear flowing shirts and tight pants, and wore five-inch heels more often than not. Their natural dark red hair had been cut into a fluffy bright red Mohawk and their brown eyes were hidden behind purple contact lenses. Their teasing lips were always painted with black lipstick, and their nails sharp and red.

Ginny walked to her “friend” and they shared a quick handshake they had made when both of them were young. “Yeah, due for a buzz on my undercut, think you can do that for me, hun?” Colin looked up at the ceiling, their painted lips in a false thinking pout “Colin.” Colin smirked at Ginny's low tone and nodded.

“Yeah, I can do that for you, come on~ you know my station~” Ginny gave tight-lipped smile to Colin and strut over to the scarlet red chair with painted white hearts that Colin had decked out a while ago to claim it as their station.

Ginny sat down and crossed her legs, examining her black nails as Colin settled behind her. “So just a touch up, eh?” Colin murmured aloud, Ginny nodded in confirmation, leaning her head back to peer at Colin.

“Don’t fuck it up or I take those red lace pumps you treasure so much” Ginny grinned as Colin gasped at that and pushed their hand to their chest at her threat.

“How dare you~!” the two shared a nasty grin and Colin reached for their electric clippers, throwing the hair catcher towel around Ginny's neck and turning the clippers on. “So did you hear that Harriet ‘n her sister left to Auradon two days ago?” Ginny gasped at that “Really?” Colin leaned into Ginny's line of sight “You’re obsessed with that girl; I’m surprised you didn’t sense the moment she left the barrier” Colin chuckled at Ginny's glare and went back to her hair.

“Dizzy’s left too” Ginny sighed, twitching as Colin let out a small laugh.

“I know, if she wasn’t you wouldn’t be here” Colin lifted up the back of Ginny's hair and started to buzz her undercut, going quiet as they focused on not cutting more than Ginny wanted.

“Smee’s boys left too, all three of ‘em” Colin muttered, shaving the design into Ginny’s undercut “Six more vks off the isle, wonder if any more will follow” Ginny hummed at that, watching Colin in the mirror as they worked at her hair. That was a question, would there be more vks to follow the six that left two days ago?… Ginny hoped so, she would love to get off the isle and away from her mother.

“Think they’ll pick any of us if it continues?” Ginny asked, leaning on her hand as Colin tilted her head. Colin shrugged after a moment.

“Dunno, maybe not us, but-” they nodded their head to the right, Ginny's eyes following to see Diego De’vil sitting in the salon chair reading a book as one of Colin’s coworkers finished on cutting his hair “-Diego maybe, considering he and Carlos are cousins there might be more of a reason” Diego looked over at them, raising his brow “Ey im not talking negative, just possibilities” he sighed and went back to his book, rolling his shoulders a bit.

Diego was a strapping young man, the older cousin of Carlos and the lead singer and guitarist of the Bad Apples. when he was younger, he would sneer at those who would either compare his looks to his much smaller at the time cousin or accidentally call him Carlos. nowadays he took a bit more pride in being Carlos’ cousin. his hair was cut into a short-brushed back Mohawk that transitioned from black at the roots to white at the edges, similar to Carlos’ hair. he wore red and black most of the time, decorated with spikes and pins with hard combat boots and patched-up jeans. his fingers were calloused from years of guitar picking and freckles decorated his face and shoulders.

Colin's coworker finished up refining his mohawk and took the towel from his shoulders, Diego stood and placed a handful of silver coins into the worker's hands. They nodded and walked to the register as Diego examined himself in the mirror “so De’vil?” He turned to look at Colin, who was brushing off the buzzed hair from Ginny's shoulders “Do ya think your cousin will get you off of here or nah?” Diego stared at them for a moment then shrugged.

“Dunno” he grumbled, grabbing his jacket from the counter and slipping it on “Not up to me, but I’ll do anything to get away from my maniac of an aunt, she keeps mistaking me for Carlos” Ginny and Colin winced at that, remembering the old days when the once runt-like Carlos would run out from Hell Hall with a screaming Cruella behind him, a burning cigarette in her hand.

Pity wasn’t a thing on the isle but many of the younger isle residents would take it upon themselves to keep Carlos away from his deranged mother when possible, even Mal had done it when she was younger and much more…nasty, it was like seeing a puppy being kicked while it was already down, you couldn’t help but just care for it.

Then once Mal created her little group the incidents where Carlos ran away from his brother bruised and bloody lessened, until they completely stopped because he was in Auradon.

Now Cruella, ever the insane woman, attempted to chase after Diego, but Diego was stronger and taller than Carlos ever was against Cruella, and easily battered her away when he needed to.

Cruella didn’t bother him much after the first fist to her face.

Diego waved Colin and Ginny goodbye and walked out of the salon, making his way towards the rundown movie theater for band practice. He turned down an ally for a shortcut and appeared on the other side in the market, making his way down the market to get to the other side of the main street, where the theater was.

As he walked someone caught his eye, and he looked to his right, seeing Claudine Frollo picking through a basket of apples for whatever reason, probably her father making her do the grocery shopping.

Claudine was the bell ringer for dragon hall, she was quiet and soft-spoken, hardly talking to anyone her father didn't approve of. she wore clothes that covered her almost completely, as her father said it ‘keeps the sinful eyes of others away’. her sunflower curly blonde hair was always wrapped in a tight bun, it always got caught in her cross-necklace chain if it was let free. many assumed Claudine was a weak girl, her small frame and wide doe-like green eyes didn't help with the assumption, only to be in for a surprise when it was learned she could knock someone out with one clean punch, bell-ringing every day wasn't an easy task after all. she had many pursuers, many of which didn't go any farther after they were reminded of who her father was.

Diego stepped next to her and grabbed an apple, remembering he was wanting a snack before he had gone in for a haircut. She jumped slightly, turning to him with scared eyes before she realized it was him.

“Oh, hi Diego” Claudine mumbled, going back to grabbing some apples and stuffing them in her black and violet messenger bag.

“Hey” he mumbled back, picking up a sturdy-looking apple and biting into it, suppressing a smile at the crisp texture and sweet taste, fresh apples were so much better than he’d ever thought it be.

Claudine finished filling her bag and nodded at Diego, bidding him ‘adieu’ and turning to go the opposite way Diego had been going. Diego watched her for a moment before turning on his heel and resuming his walk towards the theater.

He arrived soon after and pushed open the doors, walking down towards the left hall past the broken-down arcade and stepping into the 2nd theater on the right.

“Eyyyyy look whose finally ‘ere~” his drummer, Ezekiel, called out to him, as he was sitting down on the stage in front of the screen. Diego nodded to him and climbed up the steps up to the stage, nodding at his bass player and secondary guitarist as they messed with their instruments “What took ya so long?”

“Haircut and snack” Diego shrugged, tossing the apple core to Ezekiel, who gagged and tossed the core into the trash a few feet away “let's get to it”

“Yeah~” Eva, his secondary guitarist and support singer, finished with her guitar and set up the mics and speakers. “Let's do dis~”

Kuvira, his bass player, nodded swinging their bass onto their back, and helped Eva set up the last of their gear.

Ezekiel plopped into his chair and spun his drumsticks between his fingers, grinning at Diego as he took out his guitar and threw the strap around his neck “So what shall we start with~”

“…” Diego looked off to the side for a moment, going through the mental list of their songs. “Different Evil Incoming, let's do that, it’s a wicked warm-up song” his band members nodded, setting up their instruments, following Diego’s lead as he started to shred on his guitar.

-

Claudine let out a sigh of relief as she stepped into her ‘home’, her father must have still been at his church service. She glanced at the calendar on the wall and closed her eyes, he had marked it as an all-day service which meant she was alone in the house until midnight.

Thank the gods.

She walked up the stairs to her room and unpacked her food into the fridge in her room, going back downstairs to pack away her father's food in the cabinets. Her father shunned modern technology, calling it the devil's work.

But Claudine would rather have her food last just a bit longer than they did in the cabinets.

Claudine took off her jacket and stretched her arms, groaning a bit as her back popped, she scanned the living room/kitchen once to look for anything out of place, and when she found nothing, she grabbed her jacket and ran back up to her room.

She closed the door behind her and took off her thick sweater, grabbing a thinner long-sleeved shirt and pulling it on, sighing in relief to be free of the slightly constricting fabric.

She glanced at her clock and smiled, it was hardly even one-thirty, she had plenty of alone time before her ‘father’ was home. As she grabbed her favorite book and walked to her closet, which was the only way to access the attic of the apartment, her mind flashed back to when she was much younger.

She was barely 4 years old when her mother died, leaving her scared and alone in their home. She didn’t know how much time had passed after that but she knew she was very hungry and very tired, that’s when Claude Frollo stepped into her mother's home and found her.

He had been looking for her mother after her mother had missed several church services, and with how devoted her mother was to the church it had ticked off the ‘that’s odd’ box for Frollo.

He found her, and in thanks to her mother for being so devoted to the church, adopted her, claiming her as his own and raising her under the name of ‘god’.

It had been 13 years since then, and Claudine had all but forgotten the face of her mother. She brushed away the memory of the day she had been found by her adoptive father and pulled herself into the attic carefully stepping around her piles of books, pillows, and blankets and settling into the corner next to the window, where she could read in peace with the natural light illuminating her favorite fantasy book.

Her father always said these books were works of the devil, but Claudine loved them too much to care, she knew they were fake but they allowed her mind to wander to a place far from the isle of the lost.

She set the book on her lap and opened it, beginning to read.

Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy.

-one week after the new vks are transferred to Auradon-

Ben growled into his hand as he glared down at the new documents the council had presented to him. ‘we hereby overrule the vk transfer plan, it is rushed and unplanned, you bringing six villain children over with no security checks or going through their history on the isle will doom Auradon’

While he and (y/n) had figured out the council couldn’t change the rules of his first proclamation or straight up say no to it, they had forgotten if they got enough evidence or if the whole council agreed they could shut the program down.

Luckily Ben had been able to salvage the isles fresh food and necessities program as it had high security going in and out of the barrier and the Auradon guards personally handed out the shipments to make sure no one snuck anyone or anything back into the ship.

Only one person on the council had gone against the rest, ex-king Luis, Prince Charming’s father. He understood the need to continue to get innocent children off the isle and had adamantly refused to vote against it, and helped Ben salvage the fresh food program.

Ex-queen Leah had been the biggest voice against Ben, and he knew she had orchestrated the meeting and the others to cut off the transfer program, she was still angry at Ben for bringing over the daughter of the fae that had “ruined” her daughter's childhood and ruined her motherhood.

Luckily, Ben had found a loophole, he had shown them his plans for the CPS and shelter, where each vk would have an adult to be in charge of them and a place to stay away from the general population and the council agreed that he could continue the vk transfer plan.

But only once he had finished building both the CPS and the shelter, then they demanded that there would be a more thorough screening of the villain children. In the way of applications, they would give their name, parents' name, fingerprints, an essay about why they wanted to come to Auradon, and then a section for the villain children to tell them about their lives on the isle. And then the council would go through the applications and THEY would approve of who was allowed to come to Auradon, and then Ben could choose out of their approved applications

Ben was angry, very, very angry. All the progress that he made within the last two months, gone. Only a day ago he was able to just point at a vk and say ‘you’re coming to Auradon’ and it could happen, with hardly any mess, yes, he would have to get a guardian for them and then get them approved by the school board for a new student and then get the new vk approved to live in the dorms but, that was a lot fewer hoops to jump through then this new application bullshit which would take so much more time.

And he wouldn’t even be able to be the first person to look at the applications as an unbiased person, they would go through cooky old people who still held on to their grudges against these kids’ parents, and pass that grudge onto the kid who wasn’t even born during that time!

Ben threw down the file containing the new guidelines for the transfer plan and buried his face in his hands. The shelter alone would take almost a year to be fully refurbished to be able to comfortably house hundreds of kids that ranged from toddlers to barely adults, then the CPS?? There was so much more to that than on the surface, he had to hire people, make sure they were certified, give them a place to base out of, get them trained to be able to handle the kids off the isle who most of which were probably traumatized! Get therapists ready, medical staff, kitchen staff, living wages, and so much more that just made Ben's head hurt.

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to make a sixteen-year-old a king? His own father wasn’t king until he was well past his teens, why did he think his kid would be ready for all of this so much earlier than he did?

Ben sighed, lifting his head and rubbing his eyes, this was all going to take over a year, at least, possibly two, maybe almost 3. so the vks would just sit there and wait until they in Auradon were ready to have them come.

Ben felt rage bubbling in his gut, he just wanted to say fuck it and continue doing it the way he was, except with more kids each round. He wanted to go to the isle and just scream at the top of his lungs ‘those who wish to live in Auradon follow me!’ and be able to give those kids the freedom they deserved.

Ben’s anger-filled thought stopped at the sound of slamming on his door. ‘(y/n)’ Ben thought, slightly nervous. He had sent a text to the group chat telling everyone about the council's interference and it was safe to say no one was happy.

Mal had never responded but he heard that there was a new hole in the dorm building wall (which she thankfully repaired but it didn’t stop her from being pissed and deciding to go out for a fly to burn off her anger), Evie had let off a wide range of curse words, some of which were definitely not English, Jay had sent a flurry of random letters and a small rant, Carlos had chucked his phone and was busy repairing it.

And (y/n), Harry, and Gil? Gil was understanding, knowing Ben had no part in it, but the other two? (y/n) had gone silent, and so had Harry.

That was never a good thing.

Ben stood and walked over to his door, dragging his feet slightly as he did. He unlocked it and quickly took a step back as the door swung open and he was greeted by (y/n) and Harry's pissed-off faces.

“So what's this I hear about a meddling council” (y/n) hissed, stepping into the room with Harry following her, closing the door with his foot, and locking it. Watching as (y/n) stormed over to Ben's desk and picked up the file. “How could you let them do this?! Do you know how long it been for those kids?! Eight months!! And now you are going to let them wait even longer!? Fuck that!” (y/n) crumbled the file in her hands and Ben gestured to it as he gave a pleading look to (y/n)

“That’s what I want to do (y/n), but I can’t! When they overrule me, I can't do anything about it! I’m sorry, but if we don’t go by their rules then we don’t get kids off the isle…I’m sorry.”

(y/n) shook her fist in his face again and turned, walking towards Harry and burying her face in his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and glared at Ben. The two stared at each other for a moment, waiting to see who spoke first. Ben took the first word “I really am sorry, I’ll try to get everything ready as soon as possible, but some of it is going to take almost two years, maybe almost three! especially the shelter and CPS agency, and the council required those to be done before we can even send out the applications”

Harry stared at Ben for a moment before looking down at (y/n) and pulling her tighter into him.

“Get it done beasty boy” Harry seemed to growl, his lip set in a slight snarl “And quick, if this takes longer than yeh say, you’ll be hanging from the mast” Ben nodded, stepping towards (y/n) slightly and taking the crumbled file from her hands.

“I'll hold you to that” Ben sighed, stepping back and setting the file on his desk “In fact I’ll remind you if it does…what are we going to do about those kids in the meantime?”

“We can't let them sit there in the dark.” (y/n) mumbled, pulling away from Harry's chest and looking towards Ben “You remember the last time we did that, with Uma? You said she thought Harry and Gil abandoned her. We can't let those kids think we are abandoning them again; we need to let them know we’re doing everything we can”

“And we will” Ben nodded, the fire igniting in his chest again as he realized not all hope was lost “Those kids will know that we aren’t abandoning them. Through a newscast or a radio, I don’t know, but we'll let them know”

You and Harry nodded at Ben, who nodded back. “We'll figure this out.” Ben walked around his desk and sat down, glaring at the file. “We won't let them down.”

-end of part 5-

 Part 5! and Uma can see into the future~!! also yep the council are dicks and prevent Ben from doing everything easily. also yep more vks! more to come about them in future parts! hope you enjoyed!

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[sunakith]

hi! sorry in advance for this long ask 😥 i read metamorphosis in your old blog and reread it here again. i remember the asks you got in your old blog with all of the possible theories about WHO the snitch could possibly be: from yn’s friends to suna’s and the wildest one, suna himself. so i’d like to share my theory up to ch20.

THE SNAKE:

* is someone who has been telling yn’s mom about her whereabouts for a while (even before she officially met suna and his friends)

* the only people who yn is close to AND trust are 3: kuroo, akaashi and sora

* the task at the begging was easy: yn didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, was always cautious around people. so it was easy money without getting yn in trouble(?)

* something interesting: the meeting between them and yn’s mom. they had to choose a cafe that was not only suitable for mrs LN standards BUT also a place away from prying eyes (i see it as if someone saw them it would be hard to explain why they were together 👀)

so the snitch CANNOT be any of suna’s friends bc not only they never met yn in person before she went to suna’s tattoo shop but there was no way they could know yn’s whereabouts and mrs LN didn’t know about their existence till after the family brunch at the fancy restaurant (yn told her parents she didn’t know them)

the snitch could be one (you said it was only one) between kuroo akaashi and sora

1. KUROO - probably yn longtime friend among the three. they come form the same family background: rich kids plus their parents are friends. contrary to yn’s parents, kuroo’s seem to be less strict and support his (side/temporary) career as a youtuber but it doesn’t mean they don’t have expectations on their son. he’s studying law school and one if not both of his parents are lawyers (him saying he would use his parents old books bc he didn’t have some at the begging of the smau) - he has to follow his parents steps either bc he wants to or has been forced/induced on wanting to be a lawyer.

even tho he said multiple times he was broke, we should think on HIS meaning of being broke. he has a certain life stile so when he says he needs money it doesn’t mean he cannot afford to pay for rent (does he even have to pay? does he own the place he lives in? and even if he was broke and needed money for food he could easily go to his family’s home.

is he the snake? for me, no he isn’t (and it was confirmed in ch21)

* as he said - (ch21) excluding the easy money - there was nothing for him to risk his friendship with yn. even if yn’s mom doesn’t stand him it didn’t stop her from being friends with his parents

* he’s the one who could really understand yn’s situation with her parents. what it means coming from a wealthy family and your parents put a certain pressure on you and your future wether intentionally (the LNs) or not (the Kuroos)

2. AKAASHI - the perfect guy according to yn’s mom.

* he doesn’t come from a wealthy family, his tuition is paid by yn’s parents (no one knows this info) so he really does need extra money bc he has to cover for his other expenses and support his own family

* he’s close to yn but not enough to know her feelings/doubts (sora)

* the way mrs LN talk/message the snake like she genuinely cares about them

* when yn ditched the dinner with the sakusa’s and her parents, yn’s mom with sakusa went to her apartment (they found sora with atsumu). yn was with suna and he decided to drive her back home, that’s when yn’s mom and sakusa met suna and yn panicked bc of sakusa’s presence. mrs LN asked info about suna to the snake and they didn’t know who she was talking about (sora was there and knew suna was with yn). only kuroo and akaashi weren’t there/didn’t know suna met mrs LN

* akaashi went back home for a month and during that period he missed certain things about yn x suna relationship also he didn’t check that often the gc.

* the brunch (ch20) - akaashi wasn’t there: we don’t know yet how yns mom and sakusa knew where to find yn. did the snake told any of them the address OR did yn ratted herself out by posting the place on her ig (it is public if im not mistaken)? the snake could easily forward the picture to any of them if her profile was private and they didn’t know the address (akaashi)

3. SORA - yn’s only female friend

* like akaashi she doesn’t come from a wealthy family (as far as we know) and she doesn’t go to college but works.

* yn’s mom dislikes her (at least on the surface)

* she doesn’t understand why yn is/was so obedient to her parents, it’s hard to understand from an outside pov (kuroo in a certain way can even if his parents aren’t that controlling)

* the cafe meeting with mrs LN. the way the place should be secluded 👀

* as i said before telling yn’s mom about yn’s life was easy money and there was nothing «interesting» in her life to be hidden from her parents

the snake (for me) is one between sora and akaashi.

AFTER CH21 im thinking more on akaashi bc of the convo between the snake and sakusa where sakusa tells the snake that what they are doing all of this for yn’s sake. akaashi doesn’t know how yn truly feels about suna nor her doubts/worries before they became official (only sora knows) BUT if the snake ends up being sora…(i guess that would be the biggest betrayal yn could get) she deserves an oscars as best actress in a bc not only she played matchmaker with yn x suna but she’s basically yn’s (only) confidant

last but not least let’s talk about my man (sorry yn) suna. not to be a suna apologist (im the first to call his ass out when he’s bitch) but could you really blame him for not wanting to listen to yn? he opened up about his past with her and in one of the first chapters - don’t remember if it was the gc with the twins or he told to yn - was mentioned how his last relationship or the most important one he ended up being emotionally hurt by his partner and he decided to stay away from relationship for a while. so imagine what/how he felt when sakusa told him he was yn’s boyfriend when she not only told him sakusa was just a family friends but they are (suna x yn) supposed to be in a relationship.

yn postponing to tell suna the truth about sakusa (them being together in a arranged relationship bc of their parents business) ended up hurting him. there was never a right moment (the sooner the better) but she should have explained

or at least vaguely mention it to him either when she told him about her parents (when they opened up about each other) or after the apartment incident BUT definitely before they started dating bc she basically lied to suna.

i think that’s all 😵‍💫

The fucking thought & detail that went into this ask!!!! I love it!!!!

Okay, so let me try to answer this properly without skipping over anything, but also without giving away any key parts of the au lol.

So, I did mention this fact on my old blog, but I didn't mention it here, so the snake has been betraying Y/N way before she was introduced to Suna, & his friends. So that fact alone eliminates Atsumu & Osamu from being the snake. You are also correct about the snake having it easy at first. Because there wasn't anything to report seeing how she never did anything until Suna came into the picture. That's when the snake started gathering information. But even at first they were hesitant to say anything, hence why Y/N's mom had to reassure the snake that it was okay, & that all of this was only in Y/N's favor.

We know now that Kuroo is not the snake, because in chapter 21 Sakusa had a conversation with the real snake, & pinning Kuroo out to be the backstabber was all part of his plan to keep the real snake safe. So that means, Sora, & Akaashi are the only ones left.

Sora & Akaashi do not come from wealthy families. Sora makes a very comfortable living tho with her job as a bartender. Akaashi is being put through school by the financial support of Y/N's parents ( this was also a fact I mentioned in the introduction chapter back on my old blog. ) But Y/N does not know about her parents supporting Akaashi, the only one that knows that information is Bokuto.

With Akaashi being financially supported it would make sense for him to be the snake right? Because in return he's doing something for them. But Sora could also very well be the snake. Yes she hates how Y/N parents are treating her, & she wants Y/N to be happy. But there could be a chance that she's the snake because she just simply wants to be on Y/N's parents good side. & at the same time try to convince her parents that Suna is the best thing for her. Because the snake does tell Y/N's mom about how they think Y/N is happier when she's with Suna, & they try to get her mom to see that. Though her mom is a bit stubborn, but maybe that's also what the snake is trying to do. Hoping that the mom will back out of this plan Y/N's family has for her, & let her do what she wants.

You know get on their good side & then win their trust in order to save their friend. So that could be a possibility why the snake is Sora.

Sooo who is the real snake??? 👀👀

& lastly, I agree! Y/N definitely should've told Suna sooner. But in her defense, she was scared that he'd walk away after hearing how much of a complicated mess all of that is. Sure she told him about her parents & stuff like that, but in Y/N's mind that's nothing compared to being in an arranged engagement against your will. She was scared that Suna will leave before she figures out a way to get out of going public with the fake engagement. She was hoping she would figure out a plan that would get her out of it before Suna found out. But it all back fired :(

#thank you for taking your time to send this!!! #<333 #anon #asks #sm au: metamorphosis

[yikesharringrove]

maybe? 👉👈 steve taking a really long time with college (like on one year and off one yours year, on, off, on, off) and he still doesn't really know what he wants to do and he gets really frustrated bc billy just did college all in one go and steve is taking forever and he feels down on himself? idk im feeling the whump rn???

Steve had left high school having no idea what he wanted from the rest of his life.

That’s not true, he had some idea.

He knew he wanted to leave Hawkins, follow Billy wherever he was going. He knew he wanted to be with Billy for the rest of his life, he knew he wanted to leave the past behind and make new friends, people who were kind, and fun, and didn’t bat an eye when Billy pulled him into his lap.

But that’s about it.

So when Billy graduates high school, and gets a full ride to UC Berkeley, and they move into a cheap apartment in downtown Oakland, Steve is so happy that he got out.

He gets a job waiting tables at a restaurant down the street, pays half the rent and buys the groceries while Billy’s in class.

But then two years pass, and Billy’s soaring through college, working to his degrees, plural, because he just couldn’t decide between studying English Literature or Biology with a focus in research.

So he’s majoring in both and getting a minor in Italian because then I’ll know what you’re sayin’ when you start horny babblin’.

And Steve was at the same restaurant.

True, he was assistant manager now, and it came with a pretty okay raise, and he even gets dental insurance, but he feels so stuck.

So he enrolls in community college.

He starts with some general classes, still completely unsure of what he wants to study.

Billy said it was okay to just rule out things you don’t want to study, to nearly fail a math course and know that accounting is not for you.

So when Steve finishes his first year, he at least knows what he doesn’t want to pursue.

Meanwhile Billy has an internship at a lab through Kaiser Permanente. And he can read and write Italian than Steve can.

Steve is walking home from his job at the restaurant when it happens. He’s crossing the street, and gets hit by a car.

He’s taken to the hospital, where he’s informed of a fractured spine and another concussion.

He’s told his injury could’ve been much more severe, that he will not experience paralysis, but he needs physical therapy and walking will be difficult for a while.

Their finances take a big hit.

Billy’s internship doesn’t pay super well, and with Steve being unable to work for the foreseeable future, he’s fired.

Billy has insurance through the school, but because on paper, he and Steve have no real relation, Steve’s medical bills come out of pocket.

So Steve is bedridden for months. He can’t work or get groceries, or do fucking anything but lay there.

They can’t afford physical therapy.

But Billy has a friend studying to be a PT, and she comes over every Saturday, and practices her technique on him in exchange for ten bucks and a few beers.

And so the money Steve tucked away for school is rapidly diminishing.

By the time Billy graduates, Steve is a year into recovery. He still gets dizzy at odd intervals, and his back gets stiff when it rains, but Billy gets a job right away, doing research on flu vaccines.

And Steve goes back to work.

He gets a desk job, something he won’t have to be on his feet all day for. He works reception for a message therapist, which comes with free massages, which work wonders on his back.

So in the fall, he decides to give his education another shot.

He learns that history is not for him, and that his nutrition course was fine until they began looking into how the body processes nutrients, and he was fucking lost. He takes a few business classes, thinking, hoping genetics would take over and this is something he could do.

But his dad was right to take away the job opportunity at his own firm. Steve was not cut out for this.

After a year of research, Billy is promoted three times. He ends up working on some extremely important study that Steve does not understand for the fucking life of him.

But he sits and listens every time Billy explains what he did that day, even though Steve gets so sad when Billy mentions having to kill the lab mice to study their bodies.

So Steve is two years into community college, five years into living in Oakland with Billy, and he still is lost.

He takes a semester off, working more hours, trying to save up some money.

Because Billy is beginning to think about grad school, and that shit’s not cheap.

But Billy decides to postpone that, work for a few more years, and besides, he’s caught between studying something to put him in a research field, or just straight up going to medical school to study infectious disease.

Because Billy could. He’s smart enough for medical school, smart enough to research and be a doctor.

And Steve has a smushy spine and half a degree in nothing.

A semester off turns into a year.

A year and a semester.

Two years.

They’ve been in California for seven years, and Billy gets into grad school in San Diego. They move south and Billy spends late nights pursuing a Masters in Immunology.

And Steve works the front desk at a pediatrician’s office.

He’s flipping through a course catalog from the San Diego Community College when Billy comes home from his new job, the position he got after applying to only three labs.

He kissed the top of Steve’s head, moving to grab himself a beer from the fridge.

“You thinkin’ of going back?”

“I don’t know.” Steve slid the catalog closed. “Is it even worth it?”

“That’s something you have to decide.” Billy sat down, sliding the catalog towards him. Steve had crossed off the classes he had already taken, the ones he new he wouldn’t like.  “And you know, going to school isn’t the only option. You could get an apprenticeship, master a trade.”

“I can’t do anything where I need to bend over for really any length of time. So that rules out plumber, and car mechanic, and anything physical like construction, or landscaping or even general contracting is right out.”

Steve could feel the old shame, the doubt and the self hatred crawling up his spine.

“I have nothing to offer. I have no discerning skills, and in seven years I’ve only made it through two years of goddamn community college, and here you are, ripping through grad school like a fourth degree is easy.”

“Stevie, you’ve got a lot to offer. We just gotta find something that suits you.” He took Steve’s pen, turning to the back page of the catalog. “Okay, we’re gonna write down all of you strengths, and think of career paths that could fit those. I’ll go first, you’re extremely caring. You’d be good at any career where you care for people.”

“But I can’t study nursing or something, I barely understood my biology 101 course. Plus, nurses are strong. I can’t lift more than like, thirty pounds.”

“There’re way more caring fields than nursing, Pretty Boy. Although I would love if you were my nurse.” Billy smirked at him, leaning in to plant a sloppy kiss to Steve’s cheek as he rolled his eyes. “Another strength: your emotional intelligence is through the fucking roof.” He wrote it down. “Okay, I’ve said tow, so you say one.”

“Um, I think that I’m good at making people laugh?”

“Yes! You are. Perfect.” Billy scribbled it down. “You’re a good leader.”

“I’m pretty good at reading people.” Billy wrote Intuitive, can smell a douchebag from a mile away.

“You’re good under pressure.”

“Sometimes.”

“Every time I’ve seen. You’re good at keeping calm and keeping others calm.”

“I guess.”

“Nah, Stevie. Positives only. Say a strength.”

“I’m, uh, I’m good at, bilingual?” Billy stared at him. “Like, I’m bilingual.”

“Are you sure? I don’t think that was English, even.” Steve slapped his chest, Billy laughed. “I’m joking. You are bilingual. You’re also really good at making others feel safe.”

“I was always pretty alright at public speaking.”

“You’ve got a great eye for detail.”

“I’m good at teamwork, and delegating.”

“You’re really compassionate, too.” Billy drew a line under the strengths side. “Okay, so now we’ve got some of your strengths, think about what you’d want in a job, and we can match everything up and think about some careers that could fit.” Steve nodded, racking his brain.

“Um, I would want to work with kind people, I would kind of like to do something, you know, worthwhile. I’d like to be in charge of something. Like it’s fine if I have a boss to answer to, but I’d like to be fairly independent.”

“I already have so many ideas.”

“Lay ‘em on me.” Steve sat back, closing his eyes to try and picture everything Billy threw out.

“I’ve actually always thought you’d be a really good teacher. Especially if you did like, kindergarten. Just got to be around little kids all day.” Steve could actually see it. “I also think you’d be a could social worker, like to work with Child Protective Services, or something. Um, you’d be good at even planning. Or I think you’d be really good working at a nonprofit of some kind. Maybe you could be the event planner for a nonprofit.”

And Steve was sitting there, and suddenly, he had four career paths, just sitting right in front of him. Four super attainable career paths.

“Wait, wait those make sense.” Billy beamed at him.

“Yeah, that’s because I know you, Pretty Boy.” Billy opened the catalog. “So, I think if you choose to enroll, you should pick a few classes, like, Intro to Social Work, Early Childhood Education 100, and maybe like, Sociology, and see from there.”

Steve stared at the course descriptions for what Billy circled.

“Thank you for helping me. I’m sorry this has taken me so long.”

“It’s okay. Everyone is on a different timeline. And it’s not like you got to explore options in high school. You were told business until your dad decided that nevermind. So it’s understandable that this took you a minute. Plus, you went through hell with your back.”

Steve sat up straight, stretching out his back.

“But, I mean, the back thing kinda happened to you too, and you still made it through all your schooling.”

“Sure, I watched you go through it, but I was not in the pain you were. And like, emotionally, it fucking sucked to watch the love of my goddamn life go through something, and I couldn’t even afford therapy. Like, I felt so helpless, but that’s nothing to what you went through literally experiencing it.” Steve took Billy’s hand, linking their fingers together, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“You did the best you could. Everything was shit for like, that whole year.”

“I cannot telly you how many times I would go into an individual study room in the library and just like, sob for a while.And then I’d get so mad at myself, thinking of you at home, hurting and not even able to get yourself out of bed, and I’d race home feeling like shit.”

Steve scrubbed his fingers through Billy’s hair. He had cut it a while ago, kept it short these days.

“You were doing everything you could for me. I would just sit in bed all day, and think about how amazing you are. Like I would just think about all the good times we’ve had together, and how much I love you.”

“That explains why we didn’t fight for like, that whole year.” Steve laughed. Billy leaned to kiss him softly.

“And you know, even now we’ve done this, there’s still no rush on you. You don’t have to go back to school this year, of this decade, or anytime until you’re ready. Until you want to.”

“Well now, I feel like there’s a fucking light at the end of the tunnel. I’m almost, excited. Is this how you feel? Excited to go to school?”

“Welcome to the nerd life, Sweet Thing.” Billy drained the last of his beer. “You wanna go out tonight? Celebrate?”

“Like, go out to dinner, or go out?”

“Oh, just like dinner. Be home by eight thirty, in bed by nine, missionary with the lights off, and asleep by nine fifteen.”

“Sign me the fuck up.”

#billy is based a lot on my sister in this #and steve is based on her best friend #any life path is valid #there's kind of a lot of set up but yeah #also i live for them settling down and becoming a totally boring mundane couple but they're just SO HAPPY toghether that's my shit #yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrive #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

[venusmages]

otp tag.

tagged by @solasan​, thank u!!!!!   tagging: @ritualism​ and @editoress​ i think all my other Wayhaven ppl have been @’d already

PENNY AND FELIX EDITION

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

i neither! penny if i had to choose, but shes usually p good at keeping cool. and felix doesn’t seem like a shouty person anyways.

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

N/A

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

N/A

who trashes the house?

N/A

do either of them get physical?

N/A

how often do they argue/disagree?

i think their first disagreement is in book 2 when Felix got hurt during Sanja’s rescue. Penny feels super guilty about it and is worried Felix is brushing it off when he has a right to be upset. She’s kinda haunted by that whole situation and the choice she had to make. Other than that, they definitely never really argue. At most in the beginning Penny was just kind of oblivious/flippant because she’s socially awkward lol

who is the first to apologize?

both lmao

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

Felix is a little top  you cant convince me otherwise

any kinks?

not really

who has the strangest desires?

i think they’re mostly just cute in bed without anythnig crazy going on

who’s dominant in bed?

  FELIX!! in the cute ‘i got this’ kind of way. Penny’s shy so definitely not her.

is head ever in the equation?

duh

if so, who is better at performing it?

felix has the charisma but i think penny has the technique

ever had sex in public?

 they did almost fuck in nate’s library 

who moans the most?

Penny!  Felix thinks its cute

who leaves the most marks?

FELIX LOVES HICKIES. hes sad that they don’t last super long on him, but she tries anyway.

who is the more experienced of the two?

I think they’re pretty even actually

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

latter

how long do they usually last?

im sure it varies

rough or soft?

soft!!

is protection used?

YES. penny is ON that shit. Though she wouldn’t be against having kids one day.

does it ever get boring?

nah they’re too cute and in gross cuddly love. Does felix look like he’d EVER get bored of the detective

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

it didnt  happen but again, nates library. Penny was secretly kinda into it 

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children / do they have children?

 I don’t think either are seriously considering it for a while but Penny is a good 50/50 on it!

if so, how many children do they want/have?

just one, maybe two.

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

Felix! Penny’s a little more standoffish in general with physical affection, but she does love cuddling Felix. If he wants to cuddle she’s p much always down for it.

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Felix. Have you heard what that boy says

who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

Felix! Though only in private. He know’s Penny’s shy and its cute to do it when shes working or something. He likes playfully distracting her.

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Probably for a good while, though Penny has a tendency to get antsy. Usually it just means her getting up and him happily following after her though

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

video games! She showed him Animal Crossing and it was over

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

on the couch!

SLEEPING.

who snores?

Penny...

if both do, who snores the loudest?

Not loudly , but again penny.

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed!

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

depends!

what do they wear to bed?

Penny wears pj shorts and a cotton shirt, pretty simple. Felix is probs similar

are either of them insomniacs?

Penny DEFINITELY is. Thankfully Felix doesn’t sleep a lot so she’s rarely disturbing him!

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

YEP. Especially after book 1, she started having nightmares.

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Felix is a koala.

who wakes up with bed hair?

Penny. Felix somehow always looks fucking perfect and she’d be jealous if she didn’t think it was so charming.

who wakes up first?

Penny. Even if Felix is just lazing about, she’s one of those responsible people or something.

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Felix tried. keyword being tried. 

what is their favourite sleeping position?

Penny sleeps on her side and Felix clambers around either with one leg over her or spooning her usually.

do they set an alarm each night?

Penny does!

who has nightmares?

Both :(. Hard to tell with Felix how often for him

can a television be found in their bedroom?

Penny doesn’t have a TV

who has ridiculous dreams?

Felix for sure. Sometimes involving stuff pertaining to the Echo World and Penny is like ??? and he doesn’t know how to explain it.

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Felix

who makes the bed?

Felix, because he insists. Penny goes back and straightens it out

what time is bed time?

 bed by 1

any routines/rituals before bed?

felix insists on brushing their teeth together bc he thinks its cute (penny does too). its how she first actually got a glimpse of his fangs

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

neither! though felix DOES complain.

WORK.

who is the busiest?

penny. felix is  busy keeping himself from dying of boredom

who rakes in the highest income?

n/a

are any of them unemployed?

n/a

who takes the most sick days?

Penny, though very rarely. She usually saves them for days where she wants to work from home because the office got too overwhelming.

what are their jobs?

Vampire Agent vs Police Detective

who sucks up to their boss?

 Felix tries to charm Rebecca. Rebecca just sighs.

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Felix. Got distracted

who stresses the most?

PENNY. though she usually takes things in stride, she’s a little up tight.

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

Penny is fine with being a detective and doubly fine with being an agent.

are they financially stable?

yeah!

HOME.

who does the washing?

Penny. We know what Felix’s stance is on laundry considering he hides his socks in Mason’s hamper.

who takes out the trash?

Felix , and he acts like a hero

who does the ironing?

Penny! She wears nice clothes that definitely would require ironing. 

who does the cooking?

Penny is a serviceable cook, though she tends to cook the same things. And sometimes still eats like a (healthier) college student because she doesn’t have the energy. Felix LOVES using it as an excuse to order food.

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Felix.

who is messier?

Felix. More just disorganized

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Felix. Again, boy clearly hates laundry

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Neither. Unless Felix yoinked the keys - then they could be anywhere.

who answers the telephone?

FELIX. First ring, always. 

who mows the lawn?

city slickers for life so neither

who does the vacuuming?

both. felix likes doing it and danciing

who does the groceries?

Penny because felix will bring back a bunch of things they didnt need

who takes the longest to shower?

Penny. She uses so much water

who spends the most time in the bathroom?

neither!

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

nah theyre secret agents

how many cars do they own?

just penny’s little clunker

what’s their song?

waterfalls coming out your mouth // violet hour (especially this one) // sugar

do they live in the city or in the country?

small town

do they own their home or do they rent?

penny’s renting but wouldn’t be against owning a little flat somewhere

do they enjoy their surroundings?

wayhaven is home and comfortable for penny! she was actually falling out of love for it before she got promoted, now she feels protective over it and the supernaturals shes now aware live there.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

felix goes insane waiting until they can meet up again. penny is often thinking abt him but is eager to get work done so she can do it even sooner

where did they first meet?

abandoned warehouse in book one - though the first meeting SHE remembers is him kissing her on the hand... romance...

who spends the most money when out shopping?

i feel they both are pretty similar! Theyre Fashionable, though Pennys really good at budgeting.

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

listen it doesnt happen in canon but if you do the combat training route with felix he fucking puts your hands up his shirt

any mental issues?

penny has anxiety and has been diagnosed as autistic since she was, like, 12. felix clearly has some shit he’s not letting himself fully mourn but OKAY BUDDY

who finds it amusing when the other trips over? 

penny laughs when felix trips just because he’s like a beautiful ragdoll and always ‘saves’ himself in really funny ways. felix is such a prince charming i think he’d see her tripping more as an excuse to be dashing and handsome at her and save her from face planting than laugh. 

who’s terrified of bugs?

penny definitely isn’t. could see felix losing his shit over a spider.

who kills the spiders around the house?

PENNY. doesn’t kill them though.

do they have any fears for their future?

Penny’s worried that loved ones might get put into danger due to ... everything. Verda found out about vampires and wasn’t hyped, so she’s worried about their friendship and his saftey most of all. She’s also worried about making ‘tough’ choices like the one at the end of book 2. It’s not a pleasant dilemma.

their favourite place?

Penny’s apartment!

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

felix FOR SURE

who pays the bills?

both, but penny set it all up on autopay bc felix would forget.

who’s the tallest?

Felix! He’s like what, 5′7-5′9? penny’s 5′3.

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Both! Penny’s shy when doing it but she loves felix’s reaction because he’s always super excited.

who wanders around in their underwear?

neither

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

felix. duh

what do they tease each other about?

everything! penny teases felix over how energetic and goofy and ~suave~ he is. He teases penny over being bashful - but she actually teases him more! He teases her over ROMANTIC stuff.

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Penny. The waistcoat, Felix. Why. No

who crushed first?

FELIX DIDDDDDDD. Penny got flustered but is very :/ at relationships bc she struggles socially and the only serious relationship she had prior was fucking BOBBY. So she straight up doesn’t trust that felix is being genuine at first. Also she’s a lil bit oblivious.

any alcohol or substance related problems?

nope!

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

neither

who swears the most?

probably felix, though I don’t think he swears a lot either?

#rosetxt #txt #long post #penny langford

[transrightsjimin]

honestly class consciousness is one hell of a ride bc i didnt think abt it much until more recent years. i told my friend as a kid we were poor nd my mom got so pissed at that, nd i mean shes right that we rly werent as bad off as it could be, the family is just working class. but when you suddenly realize youre not on equal footing w middle class ppl, or ppl like my uncle who is one of the very rare few who started working class and not highly educated nd ended up becoming a millionaire in the US (im still coming for his wallet istg), its suddenly all... oh wait there are ppl whose reality is not this full of hurt and few opportunities.

like, being in a university in one of the most diverse cities in the country nd still having so few poc on it and most poc u meet are international students, and having heard some posh classmates talk abt studying "just like our parents" like it's the most evident thing in the world (while im the only person in the family that did college level, nvm university, and family was super proud, it's not a given to us that you do this!), hearing classmates claim that poverty and class are not really relevant for the netherlands anymore bc you now have the nouveau riche and art is less elitist now, so apparently class is less of a thing?? nd university is just such a wakeup call or a slap in the face bc my primary school was called ghetto, my high school was called ghetto, but then my art college prided itself on being very "diverse" while i had never seen this many white students in one place, and it's even worse for my university.

shit like my brother being in prison all the time when i was younger, my best friend when i was 4 having to move away bc her mom ODed on drugs, living next to a house that had 5 weed plantations in it over the years nd our greek neighbours even got pulled into that mess bc they needed money, living across a 'coffee house' tht stored rifles in it, someone across the street setting his house (and thus half the street bc dutch homes are often connected as one row) on fire, my dad working 50 hours a week as a parcel deliverer bc w less hours he doesnt earn enough, even if the fucking job means carrying 80 kilo boxes up stairs and other bullshit, his stress leading to two TIAs (strokes), my mom being super disabled by many physical impairments nd illness nd still not being granted help in the household bc she had a 'healthy daughter and boyfriend' nd also her being left w/o an income for 2 years, practically every high school friend's mom being disabled in some way, then at my mail delivery job where my coworkers complain abt another deliverer bc it took her 3 months to get back to work again nd they called her ‘lazy‘ for not working immediately despite having multiple illnesses and disabilities bc, and i quote, my colleague said “i’m in my sixties and have arthritis and i’m working too“ dude :// hes literally the person my other colleagues say has had it hard and needs a break, and then those coworkers too need a break nd have disabilities nd are nearing pension age and still doing this work while trying to do household work and all that stuff at the same time. my mom said my cousin’s job (in construction; scaffolder) pays “really good“ (i wonder if its really that much bc it’s apparently around €1700-2700 on average) but that he already gets bad physical complaints from it while hes young nd formerly rly fit and might need to quit soon and then figure something out like studying for something else if possible.

the neighbourhood i used to live in as a baby was ‘too criminal‘ according to my parents so then they moved out to the town next to it into a neighbourhood that was eventually labelled among the top ranked ‘criminal‘ neighbourhoods of the country nd now i live in rotterdam south which is basically seen in the same way bc again, more poverty, more families with migration backgrounds etc. it’s like, you can never escape this negative image unless the whole bunch is gentrified or smth stupid and the poor are pushed to live elsewhere again. and just the whole thing of being at home, being at school, being at work, it’s such a trip bc university is so fucking different to me nd u see all these people there who are quite confident in getting good jobs nd u have business students with rich parents who are already some stupid fucking greenwashing entrepreneur aiming to become a CEO, nd even though ppl at my study w all these artsy ppl, they are generally not upper class, most still seem to be so used to the safety of being middle class and make these huge statements about poverty not really being a thing here.

nd then the whole stress nd anxiety tht my parents passed onto me, partially bc of their trauma nd them being fed up w my ‘laziness’ (executive dysfunction nd burnout lol), partially bc they believe strongly in this workers’ ethic thats strongly in line with capitalism (even if my mom used to be part of a socialist party nd still adheres to many of those ideas) but also with this calvinistic and Rotterdam ( / Rijnmond area) ideology that you need to work hard for the entirety of your life in order to be a decent person, so not so much for an economic payoff or ‘success‘; you just have to work hard. my parents always told me ‘you can rest when you’re dead‘ every single time i mentioned or even implied i was a bit tired and it was frustrating to hear. this mentality is what lead to my dad practically getting two strokes, and to my mom overworking herself nd being taken away by an ambulance on my birthday party, it’s the whole fucking reason i do not like the prospect of work bc it is just so associated w something awful you need to get done and that you need to exhaust yourself on it until you hopefully get pension money, if the govt hopefully doesnt raise the pension age even further than 67. and then you see ppl in uni talk abt fun future “careers” like what the fuck are you talking about? how are you gonna get a job in the arts and culture field in this pandemic? im already happy if im able to find a job and dont have to quit due to disability or a chronic illness that runs in both sides of my family. im sorry im being so negative but im stressed about jobs and i think i went on a tangent today all bc i saw one post abt being scared of PE classes nd my mind went to bad places. this is ok to rb or reply to btw, as long as youre a mutual

#i rly dont mean to whine or anything but its just wild how normalized this shit is #i hate capitalism i rly hate it dude #rambles

[abthepoet]

So Id like to mention that COVID19 has put a lot of things into perspective.

My industry of experiential marketing was literally one of the first to go about a week ago when stores began banning all live demonstrations. I work in the natural and organic food industry doing live events and cooking recipes on site to sample brands to customers at grocery retailers.And because sampling tables are good places to spread germs, my demos all immediately came to a stop. I'm also an in home, private Music Teacher to kids of various ages and needless to say if schools' on hold, so is teaching. and so is income. My Venmo is :ABBlas22

Which sucks, a lot because the majority of my work is independent contractor based. . . .and there's no health care, paid leave, unemployment, or sick time. Why do I still do it? Because I love the industry, the opportunities it affords me, and the pay is solid. Except come tax season. The Government likes to fuck you if you work for yourself. . . .even tho I pay for all my own equipment and car repairs to get me from job to job. My Venmo is ABBlas22

However, amid the panic, I havent felt this calm in years. The constant anxiety and pressure of having to make money and go to work and be on time and make my schedule and drive from this city to that city for this demo and that demo, has subsided. I finally wake up and I'm not staring at the clock counting down how long before I have to leave which triggers an anxiety fest about leaving my dogs home alone because my one dog has such severe separation anxiety she destroys her crate, escapes, and then ruins the house(we are actively working on it) . . .so I'm up early and nervous about, "ok I have three hours I have to walk the dogs for at least one of those hours, feed them, get dressed, brush teeth, try to eat, clean the house, stuff their Kongs, make sure I have everything I need, and then try to sneak out before the dog starts freaking out." followed by "did I book enough demos this week, if I have to execute 16 for the month where can I put another demo, should I give myself a day off? nah, i need the money, let me check my Google calendar for the 65th time this morning and stare at all the blank dates I should be booking demos instead of doing anything else because no matter how much I work, it is never enough. So I spend an hour worrying about plunging my family into financial ruin. . . . better get online and start digging thru emails and brand Ambassador groups to make sure I've got enough work. Oh what's that? the sound of my entire family and partner telling me to get a *regular* job even though the idea of punching a clock and working for someone else makes me physically sick. . but I go and do it anyway because its a W2 position so you think well maybe I'll get health benefits at least and then come to find out that this bullshit retail job doesn't give part timers benefits of any kind, but I keep the job anyway because everyone said a normal job was best, but it pays $6 less an hour than my demo gigs and is a total waste of my skills and professional experience and eventually is cutting into my income because its taking up so many weekly hours but pays significantly less that I start calling out to go do demos instead and then the same people who were like "get a regular job" turn around and go "no, not That job, try This job."

and I'm over here ready to fucking scream because I've Been very clear about wanting to be in business for myself. I have tried many things, including testing an extremely beta version of what eventually became Uber Eats. . . I could be a millionaire but my parents thought it was a stupid idea and once I used up my resources trying to drum up business, that was it.

also, this is the worst part about being a millennial. I went to college for music because they said be anything and follow your dreams . . .but then I graduated into recession (2006) and got the first job I could,at a deli, which . . . .isn't exactly a degree holding position. For years we said,"I'm just grateful I Have a Job right now." and we got bitter, broke, and depressed as a generation. We're in our 30's now and it's just as bleak an outlook for our generational future. At least until the boomers die out and free up some of that wealth, if they don't all leave it to the cat and state first just to spite us.

So yea, people are freaked out with COVID19 but for the first time, I dont feel pressure or anxiety to rush out the house or make money because everything got cancelled. All I want to do is work super hard on my own online store via Shopify and grow from there. I love to work and I love the discipline of hard work. I would rather spend 18 hours in a day working on my own business and hustling my ass off to make it work using over a decade of marketing and sales experience to promote my brand for once.

But that's hard to invest time and money when I live paycheck to paycheck and have a partner and fur babies who depend on me. Everytime I excitedly talk about dropshipping through shopify and all my plans for it, it's met with a nervous "I believe in you but dont fuck us financially." "I believe in you but doesn't that take time." "I believe in you but why don't you just work here, they pay decent."

I love that the #Coronavirus hit and suddenly human rights are easy to hand out. I love that Coronavirus got us to halt economies on a scale so massive that will actually help us fight climate change. Capitalism has destroyed our planet and our species.

I want to always remind everyone that we are a species first. Not countrymen, not race, not religion. . . we are all dancing flesh bags, given different corporeal conduits with which to experience life and then later compare notes with one another.

"What's life like in that short skin suit?"

"Not bad but I can't reach anything."

"Good thing I got one of these tall skin suits." *grabs top shelf items*

"Thanks!"

It's to help us come together, understand similarities thru differences and use them to gain new perspectives while helping our species and our planet thrive.

This insane notion that everyone needs to have a job needs to go. Our species was Not made to do slave labor all day long for an invented wage that keeps us stuck fighting for basic survival when we have the potential to completely alter our lives.

The Earth is a hostage who's not allowed to feed her own kids. They locked up every fruit bearing tree, enslaved every animal, poisoned the soil, polluted the water and then held your life at gunpoint and demand you hand over hours of your life to work that does a disservice to your potential for greatness just for a chance to get a taste of what should be your birthright.

Basic needs of survival that all humans will die without shouldn't be prizes for who can work themselves to death the fastest.

Im using this time as an opportunity and am taking what little resources I have to work on my online store and sell off and flip what I can to make start up money on Ebay. (I dont even have WiFi and my apartment complex has locked the business center for CoronaVirus) . Using my phone for everything is really fucking tedious, especially because I've had it for 4 years and it doesn't always cooperate, but I'm grateful I even have one to use. If you want to invest in me, even just $5 I will 100% be using it to get a business off the ground. I've got most of the basic work done and market research, but with no income I cant even afford the basic Shopify plan at $30 a month, I'm hoping they pass a moratorium on evictions because how do I pay rent with no job to go to!?

My Venmo is : ABBlas22 and I do reward!

#coronavirus #corona virüsü #virus corona vũ hán #covid19 #quarantine #welcome to 2020 #2020 #pandemic #economy #society #sociology #sociolinguistics #social networking #corporate social responsibility #social anxiety #anxiety #mental health #mental heath support #class warfare #income #working class #ethics #politics #news

[indulgnces]

hi howdy hello!! i go by jess and this is my first time playing my sweet bb girl, so i’m pumped! more about my girl audrey below the cut!

❛  ( SARAH JEFFERY )  ◈  dude, shut up ! AUDREY ROSE from DESCENDANTS is on screen. their fans swear they’re just DETERMINED & OUTGOING, but we’ve all seen their JEALOUS & STUBBORN side ! according to TRUMAN WIKIA, they’re TWENTY-ONE years old, BISEXUAL, & identify as CISFEMALE ( SHE/HER ). they’re currently a STUDENT & are RELIEVED about life in truman. luckily they have HER DIARY & HER SONGBIRD NECKLACE with them & can visit THE FAIRY COTTAGE whenever they want. penned by JESS.

sooooooooo confession: i’ve never watched a descendants movie from start to finish 😬 I know! crazy considering I’m playing a character from the movies, but like, have you guys ever seen a character and just be like wOW, that is My Type of character? cause that’s what happened with audrey. descendants 3 came out and was trending, and I checked the tag and like was 👀👀👀 to audrey to the point that I watched queen of mean and got HOOKED. caught a replay of the movie and watched all the audrey parts while skipping over the rest. since then I’ve been in love with my girl and she’s been on my mind so much that I’m returning to rp after a small break to play my girl. In preparation I skimmed through descendants 1 & 3, and adurey’s youtube short story so I’m good to GO. 

CANON LIFE

“A lifetime of plans, gone. Our family status, gone. Audrey, you were supposed to be his Queen, and you let him slip through your fingers. Your mother could hold onto a prince in her sleep.” 

daughter of sleeping beauty and prince phillip, princess audrey has been groomed since she was a child by her grandmother to become the queen of auradon. she’d been friends with prince ben since she was a child, and was expected to marry him when she got older.

grew up used to the finer things of life, and as such, audrey was a bit self-absorbed and spoiled. became the most popular girl in school due to her status and beauty. was cheer captain. finally became romantically involved with ben at some point in high school. life was going exactly as planned. 

then ben decided to invite 4 villain kids (vks) from the isle of the lost to auradon, and everything went to shit. the stark black and white, good vs. evil mentality was deeply ingrained in audrey’s psyche, so she was very much AGAINST the idea of any isle kids coming over. convinced the vks were up to no good, she never warmed up to the them, and bullied them (mostly mal) at times. and you know what? she was RIGHT

mal used a love potion to steal her boyfriend, who then humiliated audrey by serenading mal during a tourney match, where audrey was cheering at. no one gave two shits though?? or suspected foul play at all?? they just cheered and were like “ah, cool! our soon-to-be-king has suddenly declared his love for this new vk who’s only been here for a few days! how awesome and totally natural !! “

audrey was still plenty popular by the end of the movie, but her fairy godmothers decided to treat adurey to a spa trip, which turned into an extended trip that required her needing summer school bc she missed so much school (aka why she was absent for descendants 2)

by the time audrey came back in descendants 3, everyone was ALL up mal’s ass crack. ben proposed to mal in front of everyone, serenading her with the SAME song he did in the first movie when he ceremoniously proclaimed his love for mal while simultaneously dumping audrey, and everyone cheered AGAIN for their union. damn thing broke audrey’s whole ass heart. on top of that, her grandmother chastised audrey for her failures in securing ben and basically failing the family. 

she also lost her status come d3??? like, at the end of d1, she was still cool as fuck. but come d3 girl is not even being invited to her friend’s birthday parties anymore?? she has no friends?? no one gives two shits about how she must be dealing with everything? and wow does that not help things at all.

that night, in her loneliness and anger, audrey decided to steal the queen’s crown from the artifacts museum. it was a petty thing. she was hurt, and just did NOT want to see the crown she’d envisioned as her own for all her life be placed on mal’s head. she didn’t have a goal beyond taking the crown. however, when she went to the museum, maleficent’s scepter sensed audrey’s emotions and desires for revenge, and revealed itself to her. it’s glow lured audrey to it, fed into her emotions, and bing bang boom, audrey became the ultra fabulous QUEEN OF MEAN 

under the scepter's influence, she put half of auradon under a sleeping spell, the other half she turned to stone, then she made ben a beast after he rejected her, and made mal an ugly old hag. she was foiled at the end by mal, and ended up falling under a sleeping curse as a result. with no True Love’s Kiss to awaken her (rip), the heroes ended up getting Hades to use his magic to wake her up.

at the end, she apologizes for her crimes & her emotions were finally acknowledged when mal and ben stepped up and apologized for their inconsiderate past actions to audrey (wELL, they never actually apologize?? they say ‘I owe you an apology” but both don’t like actually say sorry, and that’s 100% something audrey has noticed for sure). she celebrates at the end with everyone else when the barrier is brought down and is last seen dancing with harry hook 

POST CANON

totally headcanon that she’s still not 100% happy as she’s shown in the end while dancing around okay

she’s STILL lonely!! she STILL wants those apologies!! she’s STILL lost about what to do with her future now that her whole life plan has blown up in smokes. she’s HURT okay. her friends? abandoned her! ben? abandoned her! that one hurts the most bc after spotting that pic of audrey/ben as children together, I 100% hc that they have been best buds for years before falling into a relationship. and while it’s clear ben was not really ~in love~ with audrey ( i image they ended up getting together bc it was just Expected yknow?), audrey still had feelings for ben. even if it wasn’t true love (she def wasn’t In Love tho she thought she was), she did still love ben. he was her best friend, and the fact that he never came around to apologize to her for humiliating her the way he did after the love spell broke HURT. 

also hc that she had to take a remedial goodness class following her stunt 

the ending given to her is life a brief showing of her and harry hook smiling at each other all soft like before dancing, which like, i’m game for, but in terms of her actual future, audrey was trying to figure out just how to do life moving forward following everything

TRUMAN

“Tell me it was all a bad dream.”

yeah so I said audrey was relieved about her life in truman? 100000% true!

her life was incredibly sad and lonely before, so convincing her that all that shit was all just a bad dream was an incredibly easy thing to do for the descendants actors okay (im sad for her bc of this tbh)

her life as she knows it: she still comes from a family of high status and money. not technically a princess, but she sure does act like one. believes she was born and raised in truman, but was sent to boarding school at auradon prep since she was a child, where she thrived and grew into a typical Popular Girl (head of cheer team/one of the most beautiful girls), before returning to truman after graduating. basically she believes she had the same perfect life she had before in canon, minus the vks, ben, and the whole fairy tale/royalty stuff (basically everything that ruined that perfect life).

all that other extra stuff, including going all queen of mean and losing ben and being drop kicked by literally everyone, is just POOF, fuzzy memories, bad vivid horror story nightmares! every now and then she’ll witness an engagement, or spot a serenade, and it’ll trigger an overwhelming sense of sadness, but for the most part, she’s content putting her life behind her. her new life is a much happier one. that could totally change once she starts encountering people from her past life again.

only really recognizes her family members as family members, and maybe recognizes some past auradon friends (maybe chad charming as her ex since he’s the only one who didn’t totally abandon her rip)

since “returning” to truman, she’s entered university on the island. she wasn’t sure where she was going with life, but she knew she’s always been really good at drawing and really good at event planning. so in uni, she decided to keep her artistic talents as a hobby and pursue a career in event planning. in pursuit of this, she’s a senior at college, majoring in hospitality management.

PERSONALITY

positive: determined, headstrong, outgoing, self-assured, polite, moral, dedicated 

negative: jealous, stubborn, demanding, bossy, petty, close-minded, seemingly mean (tho she doesn’t consider herself mean, okay? she just can come off as mean/rude)

CANON CONNECTIONS

ben & mal: need them both bc they are the ones who hurt her the most so i’d loooooove to play out these dynamics in truman!! they’d be the most Triggering faces for her 

jay & harry & chad & uma: underrated audrey ships i’d love to play out bc literally crumbs are given to the majority of these dynamics, and so I want to just...explore them?? three of these 4 are vks and 2 of those 3 are people audrey actively pursued in some sort of ~connection~ at the end of the movies when the Couples got together, and she did that even tho she is very Moral and has confusing feelings about vks, and i just wanna know more!! 

TRUMAN CONNECTIONS

yeah this is getting long, so I’m planning on posting a whole separate post in the truman plot tag for these wanted connections! 

and yeah! that’s everything on my girl! if you’ve made it this far, you’re the best my dudes!! I’m gonna be on mobile for a good portion of the day before coming on at night, but if you’d like to do any kind of plotting with my girl, just go ahead and hit that like button, and I’ll slide in y’alls dms! ♥

#truman:intro #♦ audrey rose — intro. #intro

[gaspdl-blog]

ok hi im late to the partay mostly bc my shit wasnt together but now it is!!! so hi im kenny, im 21, in the cst & i prefer she/her pronouns. this is my tragic texas baby boy jamie!!! he’s basically the product of me stress watching breaking bad and becoming v interested in fall from grace tropes lol. but there’s a bunch of details about him under the cut if you want to learn more about the vipers’ mechanic, otherwise tldr;; like this and i’ll hit you up to plot !!

﹄MIN YOONGI, CISMALE, HE/HIM, TWENTY-FOUR ﹃  a new car has been dispatched in search of JAMIE KIM. he is known for being a MECHANIC for the VIPERS, for about six months now. he has proven to be resourceful and quick-witted, but also reclusive and arrogant, please proceed with caution.

more in-depth bio of me rambling here, please for the love of g*d dont read it

the gist ---- tiny bi chaos gay got a lucky shot out of the deadend future of running his family’s auto shop in texas via a full ride to ucla. mechanical engineering was the route he was set up on, + a stable friend group + a boyfriend, but he got hit with a big wave of depression and things spiraled downward from there. he walked in on his boyfriend cheating on him with his best friend a week before finals, failed all his exams, failed out of college, the ex kicked him out and he ended up on the street for a long while.

eventually, bc irony is so, so cruel, he ended up working in an auto-shop wondering how the fuck, after all that, he was going to end up just like his father. jamie was sleeping in the backseats of cars saving up that tiny min wage paycheck to eventually get his own place. he lucked out, though. jamie had done work for the right person, and got a cryptic phone call offering him a job that he took without a second thought - he’s been the vipers’ mechanic ever since.

he’s quiet, southern, a smart ass. jamie thinks he knows more than anyone about cars, which sometimes he does. he’s mostly motivated by the fear that he’ll end up on the streets again, and fullass refuses to put trust in people or spend any of his money until he feels sure that he won’t end up cold again.

random hcs;;

has a tiny bit of a texas accent but it only comes out when he’s angry or really happy.

part time JOBS - he used to work as a night guard at a museum (mostly as insurance to have somewhere to stay if things fall apart again, he’s really scared of being on the streets a second time and it feels inevitable when hes mega anxious) he wont give up the job bc hes scared he’ll need it in a pinch so he volunteers two nights a month to guard for them for free

hasn’t talked to his family in a really long time

spends a lot of his day alone // if you cant find him he’s probably asleep on his skateboard under a car

old hands

gross and sweaty and covered in grease

cap sun cancer moon taurus rising

has a couple weird quirks he picked up when he was experiencing homelessness - wears a lot of layers, eats fast, scared of cold weather

definitely an asshole at times , if he feels like ur bein a meanie to him and making fun of him he’ll def go into arrogant piece of shit mode where he’ll try to make you feel stupid ,, mega yikes

he’s the kid asleep in the back of class that the teacher calls on to be like GOTCHAbut jamie says the right answer even though he was snoring 10 seconds ago

can’t flirt so if he likes you he’ll fix all your shit & try to take care of you

skeeeeny repair man smart boy typa shit

hes a human cigarette when he’s stressed which is most of the time

GRUMPY TIRED NERDY

he’s a lil bit of a pacifist, so he doesn’t attend any of the fights. he knows speaking out against them would be stupid, so jamie keeps his mouth shut, but the violence sort of makes his skin crawl

he’s gotten meaner as the vipers have gotten more successful, he doesn’t let people fuck with him so he knows how to defend himself - he tries to inspire the intimidation and fear that would come with his reputation, but he thinks saying less is better and more effective (ie less scary).

playlist;; just his vibe kinda

001. I THINK – tyler the creator 002. baby boy – kevin abstract 003. this life – vampire weekend 004. the louvre – lorde 005. sunflower seeds – bryce vine 006. love$ick – a$ap rocky 007. waiting on the warmth – mormor 008. hold on – alabama shakes 009. cringe - stripped – matt maeson 010. empty – kevin abstract 011. o-o-h child – the five stairsteps 012. feel good inc – gorillaz 013. WEIGHT – brockhampton

wanted connections;;

a friend, pls give the kid a friend

someone outside the vipers who pays him to do work on their car

someone who rlly exposed him to something violent, ie jamie avoids them and prob freaks n thinks they’re the antichrist

the ex bf?? 

i’m open to anything!! it’s a lil tricky bc he’s a mcisolato but pls plot w me <3

#pyramidsintro.

[silvrwore-blog]

---------- OOC.

hi im mitch : ) im a big f*king idiot, too. let me preface this by saying it is currently uhhhhhh 6 AM est and i still haven’t slept yet !!! i thunk i started this around 10 PM last night but im slow. really slow. everything about this ??? a hot mess ™ . it isn’t going to make a lick of sense !! but thanks for stopping by sdkjsadklsd. anywhomst im mitch, i’m twenty, in the est, and im ready to rock and roll buckaroo. my guy here? he’s an idiot. but he’s my idiot. therefore, i have to love him. the history is long ( i know because i started there first ) so ill make a little tl;dr with some simplified notes on him. i think that covers ??? everything ?? so far ? im always down to plot in the DMs or i have discord at oovoo javer #4855 mwuah !!

---------- APPLICATION.

( jack lowden, twenty-seven, cismale, he/him ) – have you seen bennett sharpe, the financial strategy student around oxford yet? i hear they can be conforming and convivial, but those who know them insist they’re reminded of beige turtlenecks and plaid blazers, eraser shavings on an old oak desk, and eagerly belting out the latest tunes when they’re around. rumor has it that due to stress, he had a breakdown in high school that put him a year behind his peers and his family has tried to cover it up. is it true? only time will tell… ( mitch, twenty, she/her, est )

---------- HISTORY.

THEY’D ALMOST STRUCK GOLD with bennett sharpe. smart enough not to have to buy your way into college, but not smart enough for his peers to despise him. the gusto of an entertainer and the charm of a damn good politician ------------ but they’d never been quite able to buff out that chip on his shoulder.

the sharpe’s were an interesting case. too good to slum it with the poor folk but not rich enough to always be able to sit at the BIG table. a family who paved their way in law and then literature. blood in the supreme courts and in those scandelous little novels that housewives sipped a glass of wine over. at least that had been his mother’s contribution to the family fortune ----- a wonderful dinner conversation.

--------- “ oh mother, what raunchy debauchery are you slaving away at now ? “

bennett was the oldest of three ( followed by one girl and then another boy ). he was a good son. would have been a real golden child to anyone else --- well, with a little love, care & patience. normal family things. from a young age he had a memory unmatched and a love of strategy games. a youth who loved to test his brain. which was fine and dandy, however, it wasn’t quite leading up to being a judge. he wasn’t following in his family’s footsteps. he’d gotten a little... off track. he had just been better with numbers. money crunching. equations. it had been a tough pill for his family to swallow but swallow it they would. afterall, it hadn’t been their biggest concern when it came to their oldest son. 

it had always been there. carefully covered up with the occasional “ he’ll grow out of it “ or  “ stop it. nothing is wrong. “ maybe that had been the real giveaway to why he’d never amount to anything big. “ he’s FRAIL. no spine. “ a good and competent doctor would have had him diagnosed and taken care of. seventeen and he’s missing classes but not for normal rich kid things. the world’s bigger and scarier than it ever was. college and a future right around the corner, parental pressure, it snowballs until it is all too much. one day of important testing and bennett sharpe never shows. he had not been on campus at all. sometimes when the panic became too much, it did him well to distract his mind ---- go outside. count the blades of grass or the birds in the sky. breathe. it’s what he had done that afternoon. left and tried to sate his mind. but nothing had done it for him that day. nothing to cure him. the world? bleak. the future? uncertain. weapy and tore down. the little devil on his shoulder named ‘ desperation ‘. he needed out. his parents phone and the message becomes crystal clear... 

--------- “ i can’t do this. “

so he’d ‘” turned tail and ran “, branded some sort of listless coward. he didn’t know what was wrong with himself, nor did his parents. the only thing they were certain of was that they would not have a son coming apart at the seams. they’d grilled him. no one was going to take him seriously or he’d never find himself in any important position if he was always going to go chicken. a breakdown never looked good. it did not matter to the rich or the poor, one would still be ridiculed. but corporations wanted someone steely, confident, put-together. all the things bennett was not becoming. so they’d contacted his school - wrote it off as a vacation. save face. “ oh i got bored. decided to go to switzerland instead ! couldn’t miss it, you see a chance of a lifetime had just presented itself to me, so.... “. however, no donations or pleading on his parents part were going to make up lost time. bennett was held back a year for being unable to complete the necessary testing and exams. oh how he would have to sell that vacation. but it hadn’t quite been a vacation, had it? long days trying to put together the pieces. some days were easier than others. some time to try and buff out that chip. the chip remained.

years down the line and one enrolment to oxford and he’s a lot better than where he started. he’s found ways to cope. some good. some bad. he’s more indendent than ever which has led him to branch out and take care of himself. no watchful eye of mother and father needed. perhaps that’s why he now has therapy pamphlets tucked away inside untouched textbooks. away from prying eyes. just an idea, maybe one day he would water it and watch it grow. go see someone. anyone. now he’s cheery. lively. a staple at parties. heeds his father’s advice and brushes shoulders with the right people. finds himself in the right places. the future is looking bright. oxford may soon to be a closed chapter in his life, but the years had been good to him. until, well, they weren’t. 

the riot club had been for the best. extravagant. a little bit of chasing the finer things in life. that had worked out just well for him. death had never been a thought --- or at least it was always kept at a distance. never upclose or personal. a relative here or there, miles away, he’d barely given it a thought. a funeral and they were gone. parties and death were not supposed to intermingle. maybe that was why it was so jarring. the world is a little heavier, bearing down on him once more. he tries not to pay it any mind when he has to excuse himself twice more than usual for a smoke outside. brushes off clammy hands like they’re nothing. accidents happened. he’d find solace in that word --------- accident. 

---------- SPARKNOTES / TL;DR.

voted most likely to be that annoying fuck outside your dorm at 3 am who doesn’t know how to turn down the volume 

dumb enough to try anything once

despite some tough times he’s just ??? full of life ??? life is a PARTY. and he’s making the most of it now, thank you very much. 

“ are you not ENTERTAINED ? “

he’s not the worst,,, but he’s not the best. yknow?

nice enough to get drunk and talk to just about anyone but snobby enough that you bet he’s going to make some insensitive comments. it’s that -- not rich rich enough to be totally elite, but not hurting enough to be able to sympathize with people who aren’t bringing in a f*ck ton of money. 

his family ( on his dad’s side ) has always been involved in law. typically judges, and some who have made it to be top dog in their fields. his mother is a writer who does rather well. she’s published a handful of book and his father has also published law-related books which brings in money. his dad is pretty high up in the field but bennett’s got his suspicions that some of the income might just be payoffs. i wouldn’t envision his father as being someone hard to be bought. he might want to grill his son for being spineless or weakwilled but i’d imagine that’s just a family trait inherited. 

which uhh brings me to my next point. bennett can be a bit of a follower. there’s not a whole lot of “NO” in him. which may also hurt his relationships because he’s not going to stand against injustices or anything if it is going to put him in harm’s way. which may help perpetuate that rich or snobby idea surrounding him because he’s not about to stand up for the common folk if they’re being belittled for their threads or schooling.sure, he might talk to them here or there in the right occasion but he’s not going to stand for them. he’s sitting pretty. he’s not looking to ruin that. 

essentially he’s not going to have your back unless it benefits him. 

as far as his secret goes, i think he’s worried about the stigma around mental health and how he’d be perceived but i think a lot more has to do with his family. because he knows they won’t be happy if it gets out or if something further happens. they just ain’t supportive in that department, chief. but he doesn’t want to be cut off or anything and not just because he’d be worried about who was putting money in his pockets. he just doesn’t want to stir the pot any further, even though he should really seek help. i kind of vagued on it but i’d say he has gad ( generalized anxiety disorder ). 

---------- CONNECTIONS.

am i picky?? nah. if he can fill something, slot him in. we can chit chat. mwuah

i already know this section is gonna get so neglected because im too tired to think

uhh give me an under the wing sort of relationship ?? listen if bennett can’t repair himself maybe he can touch up someone else. someone he might see something in. buds ? who knows ? not me. but it could b cute. 

long time friends !!! doesn’t have to be since childhood but someone(s) he’s known for a while now and they click. 

anything angsty ? is good too. 

typical friends / enemies plots too !! spice things up. 

i need sleep : ) good night !!!!!!!!!!

#no amount of hair gel #suits or ties #will ever cover up the fact he's a f*cking moron #mental health tw #smoking tw #drinking tw #ive been awake 17 hours #sounds like a good time to call it quits #oxfordintro #i will be back in a bit to do dms !! :') #after i snooze a lil

[dank-rituals]

So

Im born, genetically predisposed to mental illness & cancer, to a family that has a legitimate curse of some kind that insists on tragedy every time the wind blows in our favor.

I have a childhood, that was actually pretty great, though I did develop into a daydreamer. I also have basic "talented child" problems.

My mother commits suicide because she can't handle her mental illness, causing severe trauma to everyone around her.

I get ostracized at school because of..well, pick a reason I guess. Let's go with poor social skills, that lays enough blame on me but also I feel like I can defend it.

I REALIZE that I haven't developed social skills early, so I try to learn and grow. I'm met with complete dismissal, the damage is done and in a small town nobody cares.

Mental health degenerates.

I seek professional help, fill out a lot of questionnaires and am told SO MANY TIMES "things will be better in college, weird kids have trouble in high school that's the trope"

Barely make it through high school all hope resting on that idea. Make poor decisions based on it. Surround myself with toxic people just to have people around me.

I have no clue how college works, literally just agree to the first (bad) plan my negligent uncaring guidance counselor offers.

Find out I'm getting a lot of financial aid, but will still need loans to cover tuition. Not housing though, I'm clever and will live off campus with 2 of my older friends who are going to the same school. Oh, apparently it's 5 other friends? Didn't know people could just invite themselves to this, but hey toxic people are toxic.

Sign the papers, move my shit to new place. Am instantly terrified of the disparity between what I was told would be and what is.

College is, in a word, traumatic. Cannot meet new people, cannot get professional mental health, cannot get away from toxic roommate, cannot drive, cannot get out of bed in the morning...what if today's the day I do what my mom did? She just couldn't take it and snapped one day, when will that happen to me? Stay in your room, play video games, can't die if you don't live.

Fail all classes due to lack of attendance. Lose apartment due to lack of rent. Lose friends. Lose future.

Hope.

Ignorant, enabler friend offers place to live to continue education (the one I'm hiding from for fear of my own mind). Golden ticket for a second chance! Still me though. How long can I pretend to these sweet loving caring people that I'm going to class, that I deserve their kindness, that I'm going to survive this. About a year, turns out. Completely dismissed from school. 2 years, no education to show. Sent home to work on a farm. Work odd jobs, suffer the infinite indignities of my home life.

Suddenly, out of nowhere...things change. Life isn't so horrifying all the time. New job, leads to new school, to even better job. Meet a girl, get a place...is life...good? Did I...did I make it through? Am I gonna be o....

/CANCER

Yay, the horror is back! Everyone wants to show support, in the end it's me and her and some money they gave us. Cancer isn't a battle. I come through...different. The horror is back, different now. Had a chance and it was taken. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Wanna live. Strange to feel that way. Some people make me want to live, not toxic, not too good for me. Why not have both? Because they are too good. I ruin everything. As usual.

2 more years, living the same day over and over. Everyone's gone. Job gets worse every day. Life is a rotten apple. Pot helps, not enough. Therapy is useless, try to get help from an unfeeling system. "Get out of this town" everyone says.

Christmas time. I fucking hate Christmas time. One too many bad weeks. I'm done, leave my job, get out of town, any means necessary. Line up a job, hard to make work, but willing to take the risk. Visit people who were too good for me...awful visit, scared for this future. Job falls out from under me. Nowhere to go, money drained away.

A kindness, not much of a job, but something. Money runs out, scary few weeks. Ramen and peanut butter. Last chance, big tax refund from shit job. Just gotta hold on for a bit, then on my feet and ready to try again.

Remember the student loan? It's been years, I've avoided thinking about it, it's just a reminder of the first time I really thought I'd kill myself.

Tax refund has to go towards it, no say, no notice, nothing. Just poof, my last chance gets devoured by a dark cloud from the past.

I get high to get past the panic. I sleep like shit, and I wake up the next morning. No plan, no hope, no idea or will to live. I write it out hoping someone understands.

I dont know what to do. I dont know why I should get out of this bed ever again. I dont know what I did to deserve all of this. Why it always happens to me. Why cant I just be happy. Why cant I just live and be normal and not wanna die every 10 minutes. Why did my mother abandon me to this. Why am I such a stupid, worthless failure who only ever lets people down and hurts them. Why do I have to be me.

#vampirecmb #depression

[peggyfromtheblockk]

Get to Know the Blogger

Hey! So, I’ve realized aside from a few comments here and there, I haven’t really talked on here at all! This sad thought made me realize it was time to share a lot of unnecessary stuff so maybe you can get a basic--detailed--idea of who I am. So here’s a bunch of word vomit and feel free to come talk to me, I promise I’m a lot nicer than a lot of my answers make me seem lol

Name: You can call me E.

Age: 20

Zodiac sign: Aries

Height: 5’7

Languages spoken: English but I do remember a few random words of Spanish

Nationality & Location: American and Michigan

Work: Currently working in the infant room at a daycare

Favorite fruit: Blueberries

Favorite scent: Lavender, vanilla, or apple

Favorite animal: I really love otters and llamas

Favorite fictional character: Dana Scully of course (though, I do have a soft spot for Stella Gibson)

Favorite candy: KitKat’s but currently I’ll devour almost any chocolate given to me

Favorite holiday: Christmas and Halloween. But probably Halloween more because I love the prep and the actual day, whereas I just really love the prep for Christmas

Favorite season: I really like autumn because my hometown and college towns are so beautiful but I love spring because I love everything coming back to life

Favorite Social Media? Twitter, but like, stan twitter

Favorite thing about where you live? I just love that I have some of my favorite people within literal minutes of me. It’s a really comforting feeling. And we have a fair every year which is gross but entertaining at the same time

Favorite swear word? Probably shit, but fuck and damn do escape quite often

What are you listening to:  As of right now When I Kissed The Teacher from MM2

What Books Are You Reading? I have three books I haven’t finished and haven’t touched in like two months. We, Beaches, and Yes Please

What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? Around 1 in the morning usually

What Makes You Happy? A lot of things, though I don’t always realize that. I’m usually an “It’s the little things” person too. BUT to answer, Gillian and msr never fail to make me happy

What Are You Craving Right Now? I could smash a plate of spaghetti right now

What Is Your Gender? Female (she/her pronouns)

What Is Your Sexuality? Bisexual but I’m definitely like 85% women, 15% men

What’s The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? MAMMA MIA 2 IM SO EXCITED

What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? I’m a sucker for blue eyes

What Do You Wear To Bed? A tee and shorts usually but if I’m in The Mood I’ll wear just a tee (Yes, That Mood)

What Sounds Are Your Favourite? I love the sound of a campfire and babies laughing or babbling literally melts my heart

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Usually, their eyes but I’m drawn to those with a bright genuine smile

What’s something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Being With My People. They never fail to make me feel warm and fuzzy. Also when I get a cute little note from my favorite professor on an assignment because she is like the light of my life  

What are your hobbies? When I’m not in school I like to read and I’m able to write some. During school, you can find me watching x files, sleeping, or enjoying movies or music

What’s your favorite book? I love anything by Laurie Halse Anderson and really anything in the YA genre

What inspires you? Gillian is really inspiring to me because of all the work she does to help others. Bette Midler too

What’s your favorite place in the whole world? well, ok. So, I love Mackinac Island because it’s so beautiful and peaceful (even with thousands of tourists covering the tiny location) but I also just love when I’m with my people. When I’m with one of My People wherever we are, that’s my favorite place because I’m really happy. Also, I really love my work because nothing exists outside those four walls except the babies I take care of

What do you typically have for breakfast? A big cup of coffee and the occasional bagel or bowl of cereal

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? The first semester of my sophomore year I had this 60-70 page case study due for the end of the term for an education class. For at least a week I would stay up until about 5 am working on it, go to sleep, get up at 7:30 am and do it all over again. That’s been my most stressful and sleep deprived time of my life so far and just looking bad makes me shudder. At least I got a 99% on it

What makes you angry? A lot of things. Let’s not get into that.

What makes you nervous? Uh, everything. But thinking about the real part of my future (bills, working, adulting) really gets me going

Do you wear glasses: Yes and these specific frames fucking suck and my eyes keep getting worse (my doctor told me I’d need surgery before I turned 30, wtf thanks dude)

Do You Have Freckles? Yes and it used to bother me how many I have but thanks to fics that mention Scully’s, I’ve become fond of them

Do You Sing In The Shower? When my family or suitemates aren’t home, then yes I usually belt it all out but usually, I stick to humming

Do You Collect Anything? Postcards and shot glasses. And llama things now too apparently

Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? Pool because it’s clean and I can see the bottom

Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? It depends on the subject or the task but I almost always need some type of constant sound

Do You Save Money Or Spend It? Save it usually but I also tend to spend it all on a big impulse purchase

Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? That’s why I’m here lmao

Do You Have Strange Dreams? Alright so I just started taking Zoloft and before it, my dreams would be weird but like unrealistic-weird, like having-a-bad-trip-weird. But since starting the med, my dreams have become realistically-weird, like sometimes I wake up and question if that all really happened

Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? When I’m at school, yes, but when I’m home I usually just say fuck it because I’ll be back in it at least 8 more times

Do You Like To Read / Write? I love to read (fics, duh) but I do try my hand at writing but I struggle to finish anything and I’m terrified to post any of my work on here

Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? YES and it’s just barely halfway into summer break and I’ve got a huge assignment due the first day back

Do You Get Homesick? Sometimes but I really do love my college life and wouldn’t change it

Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? A mix but because of work, jeans most days

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sarcasm is my middle name

Do you believe in miracles? Yeah I think so

Do you have any special talents? I don’t think so but I’m good at taking care of kids. Sometimes my supervisor calls me the baby whisperer lol

Do you have any pets? Three cats and a dog and some succulents

Do you have any siblings? A little (half) brother and then technically I have four other half-siblings but they don’t know I exist

Do you believe in the paranormal? Absolutely. A big secret of mine….I actually could, and sometimes still can interact with spirits...Just call me Mrs. Spooky

Do you play any instruments? Nope but somehow I have managed to have a guitar and a keyboard in my possession. I do sing though and was in choir for 7 years

Do you have any crushes? Do celebrities or fictional characters count? If no, then no

Do you have any bad and/or anxious habits? I just have panic attacks a lot lmao and I tend to get really bitchy and mean when I’m anxious which I feel bad about but I can’t stop it

Do you believe in anything enough to fight for it? My right to marry whoever I want and have kids with whoever I want and be in control of my body. There’s probably more but those have been on my mind today

Do you keep a journal? Yeah a few actually but I lose motivation after a little bit and it takes so much to start it over

Do you like your age? Yes and no. I’m an adult which is cool and all but like….most of my friends are old enough to drink and it really pisses me off that I’m 9 months short of legally doing that. I’m super responsible and mature for my age like what will 9 months do to change that? It’s just stupid that I can join the military and go thousands of dollars into debt but I can’t have a glass of wine with my mom at a block party. UGH. American laws  S U C K

Do you like your own name? Yes, I love my name. When I was a kid I hated it, I didn’t get the sentiment of being named after someone. I finally got the sentiment around the time my grandma started getting sick. Now that she’s gone, I know just how blessed I am to carry on the legacy of my full name and try to make her proud.

Do you have any scars? Oh plenty, I’m really clumsy. My most notable is the one on my thumb from a freak childhood accident that nearly cut my entire thumb pad off. What a wild time

Do you have a strong accent? I’m from Michigan so apparently, I have a strong Midwestern accent but I don’t hear it. But anytime I’m on the phone/skyping with my friend from Missouri, she always points it out and laughs

Do you talk to yourself? Probably too much but also not in the way that I think is expected. I’m just constantly talking in my head like a constant tv interview about whatever the fuck I’m thinking about which 99% of the time is msr lol

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: All of the above

Beer or wine or neither: W I N E

When was your blog created: I knew this was the place to find the best gifs and fics and I wanted to be in the fandom more since I’m so new. Also, I wanted to try my hand at fic writing but I continue to lose the motivation or the courage to write/post

Last movie you’ve seen: Hotel Transylvania is pretty much on repeat in my house thanks to my little brother, so most likely it’s that

First job: My first job was customer service/field hand on a blueberry patch but my first legit legal job is/was at a daycare

Pet peeve: The first I can think of is slow walkers because I walk so fast because my legs are like a mile long

The color of your eyes: Green but they used to be giant sky-blue saucers

Night owl/day person: I don’t like getting up before 9 but past midnight I’m a grouch

Tattoos:  None yet, but I have two planned, it’s just a matter of money and timing

Like to cook: Not really but I can cook enough to survive which is typical for college

Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 20 Give the last two lines: “Action: Today I will be kind to myself. Affirmation: This is who I am, and I feel glad to be me” - We

Last Person You Cried In Front Of? I cried while holding a baby at work because my shift is changing so things will be different and also my hormones are really out of whack right now

If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? Any shade of purple

Name One Movie That Made You Cry: Beaches is my go-to crying movie, same goes for Steel Magnolias (what a typical answer, I know)

If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? Cher, Reba, DD, Bette Midler or Straight No Chaser. Reba especially though because she’s going to be near me soon but it's a 21+ event and I’m nine months short of that so I’m really pissed I can’t go

Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Carve pumpkins but I do a damn good job wrapping too

Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I loved it even though it made me sick. There’s a park down the street from my campus so if I’m really upset, I’ll go down there and blast my headphones and swing until I forget what’s happening. It’s really therapeutic

Name Something That Relaxes You: I have some relaxing instrumental playlists and I’ll put one of them on, turn on my lavender oil diffuser, and hop in a nice hot shower (and the hot water at college doesn’t run out so I can pretty much be in there for like ever really) or I’ll watch a fav movie that tends to soothe me

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings give me life. The fluffier the better

When was the last time you cried? I’m sure I’ve cried today and just don’t remember. There’s literally not a day that goes by that I don’t shed tears but I literally cry so easy (This video or this video will make me cry almost instantly)

Where would you like to visit? I’ve wanted to visit Barcelona and California since I was a kid but in the past 4 years I’ve really wanted to visit New York and Greece

Describe your favorite people in the whole world? I’ll just sum all five of them up with they literally make me feel so warm, happy, and validated. I love them so much I could cry just thinking about them. And don’t get me started with Gillian because I do often cry when I think  about her I just really love her a lot ok

Who would be your ideal partner? Gillian Anderson, Dana Scully, or Fox Mulder of course. No, but I want someone who’s like me morals/humor wise

Most used phrase? Right now I’m really into saying “Yikes” but “god fucking dammit” leaves my mouth A LOT

Most used word? Probably “like” as much as I hate to admit it

Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 100% except when I’m with My People of course because I feel comfortable with them

Who was your first real crush? I had plenty of crushes during early school years but I think my first real one was on a school employee. Wowza I was head over heels for her and the very obvious knew-it-was-coming heartbreak hurt a lot

How many piercings do you have? Just my first holes in my ears but I’ve been thinking about getting my Helix pierced (upper portion of the ear)

How do you deal with stress? Uhhhh I panic first lol. I tend to listen to music—very specific songs that I know will drown out the anxiety/stress, or sometimes I’ll write what I’m feeling, go for a walk, read an absolute favorite fic in my list, watch x files, or I’ll just scroll through my thousands of pictures of GA lol

How many pillows do you sleep with? Three, sometimes four and then I have four accent pillows when I make my bed. Too many, as I’ve been told by everyone

Have you ever been to the hospital? Been to? Yes, plenty of times. Been in/admitted? No, thankfully

Have you ever met any celebrities? In 2016 I went to a rally for Hillary that Cher was speaking at so like…I was in the same room as her. AND THEN my friend shoved me up to her path as she was leaving and she touched my hand and I literally nearly passed out

Have you ever been in a position of authority? I am always deemed the mom friend so I’ll let you figure out that answer...

Have you ever drank underage? Yeah but nothing crazy. I just really like my wine. The craziest I’ve ever gotten was after I turned in that case study, I chugged half a bottle of wine (on an empty stomach), got bad heartburn, and then went to bed for like 14 hours

Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Depends on the person, but I’d have to say no unless it’s Gillian/Scully/Stella

Are You A Picky Eater? I say yes, but compared to my brother and my uncle, no

Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Usually yes

Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Just my momma, but I do see my *gag* father around my hometown every now and again

Are you religious? Not really. I used to go to church a few years back, and then went to another church which ruined a lot of stuff for me and then I went through some tough stuff that made me question, idk

Are you a good liar? I like to think so (I say that as if lying is something I should be proud of), at least to everyone but my mom because I swear I can pull off the best lie ever and she always sees right through me

Are you a clean or messy person? My home life is messy. My room is trashed but the things that are put away are organized. But life at college is completely opposite, my dorm is very clean and organized and I clean it top to bottom every weekend

If you made it this far, thank you for putting up with my crazy long first post, and I’m sorry that I practically vomited my thoughts into a jumbled mess but I wanted to share myself with you! 

#Get to know the blogger #personal #first post #entirely too detailed but oh well #come talk to me #get to know me #msr #GA

[catastrothicc]

when will i learn to write an intro post

hello friens my name is kit im 19 and i use them/they pronouns. i love the color GREEN as u can tell and im a cancer ..... i literally don’t kno who i am besides that so ! ey letz gO  .... oh yea my timezone is mdt .  bu ckle . ... .. . u p

fiRST we have rocky whomst some of  u kNO bc he was That guy in paracosms anD created by the m ost crea tive  admins iv’e ever seEN i got blessedt 2 play him and to play him agAIN in literally the most mentally straining au for any character .... paracosms verse ! x 

i previously made an intro post for him here so i’m just gonna link it and walk away .. .. .... also his stats page still lives here !!! keeping in mind that he is no longer a drug ring leader ..... he recently discovered that his wHOLE LIFE is a LIE and that he’s a helpless robot stuck in hell with a bunch of other robots who want 2 murder him and every(robot)body he loves 

find his pinterest board here , someday a whole ass playlist too

neXT we have minjae ... he’s my oldest character in this batch but that doesn’t mean i especially love him .... just means i’ve made him suffer the longest .... . . . tw: child abuse ( pinterest board , playlist 1 , playlist 2 )

minjae is in the main verse ! find him bullshitting through college and b-boying in the camden streets 

he’s twenty-one and a virgo , born in busan , south korea 

he found his way to london when his parents sent him away to study abroad highkey because that’s a big fancy thing in korea they can brag about and lowkey to get rid of him for as long as they can 

his relationship with his family is ..... interestingly strained . his parents WON’T admit that he’s tiring as hell to deal with and how much stress he causes because they try their best to be supporting/loving parents but honestly minjae KNOWS how much they just wISH he was fucking gONE from their lives ( okay maybe not THAT intense but things rlly blow up in his head ) but he doesn’t even worry about it he just deals with the fact that he’s a terrible son

he was diagnosed with odd when he was eight years old, after his mom got tired and increasingly concerned with his disruptive and violent behavior

a few years prior , minjae’s biological dad left them and his mom kind of took it upon herself to try and make it up to him . that meant she was always careful around him and treated him as if he was fragile because minjae felt some blame that his dad left . 

his biological dad did Not have any patience for his kid’s mental health , meaning he and minjae would fight often to the point of getting physical . basically minjae endured a lot of getting locked up in the bathroom kicking and screaming until his voice grew hoarse and the occasional ..... bad beatings .

he went to therapy with his mom for two years before entering middle school , around the time his mom remarried a nice guy who had the patience of a saint when it came to minjae , even after he repeatedly rejected him as a part of their life . eventually minjae managed to warm up to him ..... he just didn’t wanna admit he was afraid he’d abandon them like his bio dad . 

despite the therapy he was still unstable and got into frequent fights . he was smart but he didn’t put it into any good use because he would rather fool around and disrupt the classroom at any slight chance . teachers .... hated this fuckass 

theN high school !! A Whole Mess ..... he got worse and worse , and it wasn’t until he got expelled from his Second high school that he went back to therapy for anger management . 

after months of sessions w/ his therapist he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder , which honestly explained Everything about his life . it explained his massive issues with interpersonal relationships , massive abandonment fear , massive moodiness , massive personality contradictions .... everythin g

he started b-boying because it was a way to push himself and let go of the anger without picking a fight with someone else ( altho he StilL picked the occasional fight .... highkey still does ) but he loved the control that came with dancing and how it hurt to push his body 

he managed to graduate despite what everyone thought ..... and even a bigger surprise is that he went to college majoring in math ..... and an evEN BIGGER SURPRISE is that he went overseas to study which is like ..... quite a difficult and impressive thing to do ..... tho minjae just finds math the easiest out of academic studies bc “all u need to do is understand and follow a formula” 

anYWAYS so his personality is generally very contradictory . he just has no fucking idea who he even is . thESE are from an old intro that i’m just putting here bc still tru:

being delusional w/ infatuation/love to the point of a fault vs running away when things actually start to go right with someone because of his fear of being abandoned by them

being so afraid of abandonment that he can’t stand being alone, always needs to be communicating with someone vs pushing people away when he feels like he’s getting attached because he’s afraid of abandonment 

swinging between being horny all the time and being sex repulsed

intense mood swings !!! having the time of his life one hour and wishing he was dead the next

thinks he’s the best vs loathes his entire being

wants everyone to love him vs thinking he deserves being alone

incredibly charming and talkative vs distant and moody

loving/cuddly/goofy vs jealous/purposely mean/bossy 

also never tell him its ok to text u bc he’ll give u notifications from Hell

dhwani mishra !!! honestly Bae . i’ve had her in my head for mONTHs and this is only the second time i play her rip . anyways say hello to this Hot Mom. tw: abuse , brief abortion mention 

dhwani is from chicago , she’s 36 and a leo .... literally The Whole SUN

she grew up w/ a generally large family . two parents , three sisters and a brother . it was a full house that often became suffocating but she managed to survive her childhood and teenhood . 

she’s extremely close with all her fam except her dad , bc they have always disagreed in almost everything and it’s just ..... awkward to be around him ?? she honestly doesn’t respect him much , even if she would never show him/tell him that . her dad had an abusive past w/ her mom , and dhwani still feels a lot of resentment that he would ever lay his hands on her in a violent way and mistreat her despite being the mother of his children . when she was a teenager , she would tell her mom to just divorce him but her mom was in a very toxic/old mentality and believed she would ruin her family and her children’s life if she did that . 

probably nobody cared about this as much as dhwani .... she promised herself she’d NEVER allow someone to do what her dad did to her mom and was honestly so defensive with guys . little did she kno it was the lesbian raging inside her . 

so because she had no idea what a lesbian was or that it was a possibility bc her household was not the type to really go into the topic of sex at all , she eventually got into a relationship with a guy in high school that she could actually put up with .... and got really disappointed when she was finally ‘ in love ’ because of how underwhelming it all was . her dreams about finding ‘ the one ’ were absolutely gone . she was like wtf why are people making such a big deal out of love when it feels like ...... kind of nothing ?? 

she became pregnant with his child which was completely unplanned and was such a huge turn in her life that she never ever expected . all this time she had been driven to start a career in chemistry and family would come way wayyy later , however she did Not want to give up her child ..... she was so torn about it but now she thinks not getting an abortion was the best decision of her life bc her little boy , one of her two little suns was brought into the world . 

she paused her career to raise him w/ her now husband when she was 29 , and three years later became pregnant again , this time w/ her second sun , an adorable lil baby girl . things were already going downhill in her marriage before she got pregnant again , though , and she stupidly thought that maybe another child would help them but ... wrong ! her husband , the man she thought she loved , was turning out to be exactly like her father . she put up w/ him for as long as she could .... but it did just not work out . when her daughter was two and her son five , she divorced him and someway or another managed to pick up her career again . 

she moved out with her kids into a small apartment , struggling with money and having to ask her parents for aid which wasn’t rlly good for her pride , despite that she and her mom were like best friends .

sHE made it to london by pure will after juggling her two children and working as a high school teacher , though when she got an offer to teach as a professor in a university w/ heR OWN LAB AND RESEARCH TEAM she could Not pass it up . the only problem was tht this job was across the ocean , and away from her family and everything she and her children knew . 

still , she saw a brighter future , not only for herself but especially for her kids , so she packed up and said goodbye to the states . 

she’s been teaching in soho for two years now and she still hasn’t really adjusted . it’s obviously a very different life than the one she had in chicago , but she’s very determined to make it work . also she’s recently discovering her repressed inner lesbian so hmu for plots !!! ;))) 

shE’S a chemistry professor so ... @ any student connections hmu ... also any students whomst want 2 be on her research team A++ 

pERSONALity wise .... she’s a mess . she’s very lively and warm and inviting , but she is also extremely stubborn and unrestrained . you don’t agree w/ something she does ? Suck It . you have a stupid opinion ? Time to let u kno how absolutely wrong u are . she is NOT afraid of a fight . also she’s v scatterbrained .... there is so much on her schedule that she can barely keep up w/ so she’s never like ... calm . always going somewhere , always pacing places , chugging her coffee , carrying 789479 folders and books everywhere . 

hER class is pretty much this vine 

probably one of the least chill professors on campus in the best way possible . she’s so excited about chemistry and teaching her students . altho she is lenient and understanding she can also b strict af and doesn’t allow her kindness to b taken advantage of . rlly good at drawing lines . 

also her children are her whole world and she loves to brag about them ... since she doesn’t get enough time w/ them at home she sometimes takes them to her lab on campus or they’re there being a mess during her office hours and stressing her out but she’s 2 fond of them to leave them w/ their babysitter . 

oK so here is her v incomplete pinterest board ... expect a playlist Soon 

lAST BUT NOT LEAST is santana !!! he is ... a solid trip . this is my first time playing him so i’m puMPED and expecting the worst of him fhuidshfiusdhg. tw: drug use , abuse , alcoholism 

he is 23 , a Cancer , n from LA california like that red hot chili peppers song(s)

his childhood wasn’t chill at all . he grew up with four sisters and three brothers , so his parents never really had time for all of them individually . they were always kind of lumped together despite the differences in age . santana was one of the middle children so he got evEN LESS attention . 

he honestly does not understand what his parents were thinking when they had EIGHT whole kids , because they were poor as shit . they lived in a tiny house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms , where all the girls would be in 1 room , the boys in the other , and their parents in th third one . you could Not catch a moment of peace in this household . they basically lived on top of each other .

his older siblings were very bad influences , and so were his parents . it was all tough love , so he barely received any kindness or special treatment and had 2 go to school even if he was dying w/ the flu and got hit Bad when he acted out even a little bit bc his parents were Not about to deal w/ any disrespect . he actually pretty much got hit for just existing bc his parents didn’t want dumb kids and santana was failing in Everything at school so his dad especially tried to beat it into him but really he wasn’t dumb he had dyslexia and no one knew or cared enough to find out .

still , they didn’t really respect their children enough to demand their respect . they would cuss all of them tf out and allow them little to no privacy so they all became rEALLY GOOD liars , and all of them learned to have each other’s backs but rlly this only lasted during their childhoods/teenhoods . 

santana started doing really stupid shit during high school and once he got caught stealing wine from a grocery store w/ all his dumb little high school friends whomst were in possession of weed and ended up in juvenile prison for two years until he turned 18 . thEN while he was on parole he didn’t learn his fucking lesson and his parents/family were not supportive At All honestly it’s like they didn’t give 2 shits that he was in juvie they were just like ‘that’s what happens when you’re a goddamn moron’ so santana went out and did it aGAIN bc fuck parental guidance anyways

this time he got caught stealing a whole fucking car and in possession of not only weed but cocaine so he got locked up for 4 long ass years . honestly thought that he wouldn’t make it out but he rlly learned a lot in prison and he was used to getting no privacy anyways and just kinda dealt . the prison system he was stuck in Sucked so bad though like the guards were the Worst and he’d try to stay out of fights but Some Fucker would piss him off and BOOM he’d end up in the hole for a whole week . 

hOWEVER if it wasn’t for being there he would’ve never discovered his passion of art and drawing . he got Really Fucking good bc he had nothing else to do but sit around and try to find anything to pour all of his pent up energy into and drawing happened to be his greatest outlet . would just sit for as long as they let him and draw his time away . 

when he got out he went back to his fam but they were pretty much all split up . shit went Down while he was locked up and somehow his parents ended up w/ a giant grudge on their children and some of his siblings wanted to kill each other while others had just completely moved away to different parts of the states and had absolutely no communication w/ each other . 

santana decided to fuck it and pursue his dreams of being a tattoo artist far from LA and just decided to move to a different country entirely . 

Now u can find him giving tattoos in his apartment bc he doesn’t have enough $$$ to get a studio and while he Is training under a professional he’s not getting paid by them so he needs to make money somehow . it’s a secret that he’s tattooing when he’s not supposed to tho . Fuck the law . 

personality !!!! he’s basically .... very chill .... perhaps 2 chill .... 

even tho drugs got him some bad time in prison he hasn’t left them . still very 420 friendly and occasionally does the hard stuff . also loves 2 drink and party . 

he’s irresponsible !!!! he feels like he lost a lot of his life in prison so he’s trying to make up for it and while he’s being more careful ..... he still loves 2 fuck shit up .

he gets way too comfortable around people way too easily . he thinks this is a trait he picked up in jail bc he rlly had no other option but to shower with a bunch of dudes and shit out in the open , so he’s very comfortable with his body and being in the nude in general . also a touchy guy , likes cuddles and appreciates hugs . random meaningless touches are a Habit . 

he loves to hang and do whatever so if ur his friend chances are tht he’s hitting u up 24/7 to go do something . biggest extrovert there is . does not get tired of being in public / around people . also p flirty and gay as hell . 

sO find his pinterest board here and i’m also in the process of finishing a playlist for him hopefully soon 

thAT WOULD BE ALL FOR NOW !!! hmu and feel free to add me on discord ( a whole silly boy#2690 , kít (catastrothicc) in the group chat ) for plots and such !!! 

#smoke:intros #smoke:ooc #⦁ — › OwO ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜɪs? — ⌜ ᴏᴏᴄ ⌟ #( #fiNALL Y ) #( im srry it took this long ) #( what was the build up it suCKS ANYWAYS ) #( also ........ im not ashamed of an anime mascot ) #( HFUISDHFIUSDHGIUH ) #( i LOVE an angry boy )

[midnightghostwriter]

sober ( T )

↬ summary: "you say you know the things that you're supposed to                         but you don't know how to love me when you're sober"

↬ genre: school au / bad girl!reader au / angst

↬ pairing: yoo kihyun x reader

↬ word count: 7.1k goOD LORD

a/n: i've been working on this random idea for like two weeks now and it is finally presentable so here is my first ever monsta x scenario! tbh the song (sober by selena gomez) only loosely fits this part, buuuuuut it may have more relevance later on. ;D

 please let me know if you enjoyed it, or if you would be interested in a sequel!

No one would ever think to ask Kihyun for his opinion of you, though he thought he’d have quite a lot to say if given the chance. You were never seen together, so there was no reason for anyone to assume you knew each other at all, aside from being in the same year and living in the same area. What they didn’t know was that the two of you had spent the better part of your school years together. He had watched you change from a young girl with too much attitude for the pink bows wrapped around your pigtails, to a young woman with fire in her eyes and a tongue sharper than a silver dagger sheathed in your mouth. If there had ever been any roundness to the edges of your person, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen them. Too often these days, they were covered with leather and splashes of color.

Even now, he watched as you pretended that the passing glances of your classmates didn’t matter, the way you leaned against the school building with your hands buried in the pockets of your blazer, a bright green bubble of gum pushing past your lips. The veritable picture of defiance. A few other kids in similar styles of dress completed the image and made other students skirt carefully around your group.

“Are you staring again?” Kihyun’s shoulders twitched in surprise, and his brown eyes were hard as shale as he regarded the grinning boy behind him.

“Christ Hoseok, stop doing that!” The blonde in question offered an easy shrug, as if he was entirely accustomed to outbursts like this (he was). He was able to easily peer in the direction Kihyun’s attention had been focused moments ago, and when he saw the object that had captured his focus, he grinned.

“You so were!” Kihyun’s glower darkened further at the glee in his friend’s voice, which only seemed to confirm his accusations. “Oh my god, you’re so pathetic!”

“Shut up!” The shorter snapped, his hand reaching out to strike at whatever part of Hoseok’s body he could reach. Stupid athletic that he was, Hoseok dodged and continued to snicker at his expense.

“You know it’s creepy to just stand here and stare at her instead of, like, talking to her, right?” Huffing, Kihyun turned on his heel and grabbed at the sleeve of Hoseok’s blazer.

“Shut up and start walking or I’ll put vinegar in your ramen for the next month.” Hoseok’s gasp made it sound as if Kihyun’s threat was a serious and personal one, rather than only possibly going to ruin his lunches in the future.

“You wouldn’t dare!” It was almost a whine, plaintive and keening, but Kihyun didn’t even flinch.

“Just try me.”

The snap of a gum bubble popping echoed through your skull as you regarded the mass of students milling about with all the boredom you could muster. It was probably cliché that you constantly carried a pack of chewable rubber in your bag, but it was better than some of your friends who spent these off-hours chain smoking their way to an early death. It’s occurred to you a few times that perhaps you should say something to them about this habit, but honestly you could not be less bothered if you tried.

Your roving gaze wandered everywhere and nowhere at once. Most of the people scurrying about refused to make eye contact, as if they thought just doing that would brand them as one of the hooligans you and your friends were often accused of being. As you were rolling your eyes at a couple trying to inconspicuously canoodle in a corner, you caught sight of a tall blonde making his way through the crowd. Almost like he could tell you had seen him, he glanced your way and grinned, offering a quick wave before he kept moving. Typical Shin Hoseok – no matter how the people you hung out with differed, he was friendly as ever.

You tracked his winding path through the crowd and watched as he came up behind a shorter boy with black hair, who you could’ve sworn looked away as soon as Hoseok approached. But you didn’t need to see his face to know it was Kihyun. This song and dance had long since become the norm for you two. He played it safe, got good grades and hung around good kids like Jooheon and Hyunwoo (though the latter had graduated already); you played hookey at every opportunity, used your worksheets from class to wrap up wads of gum and kept the company of rebels and class clowns like Changkyun. Ever since you’d left middle school, this had become your routine.

If you had to pick a word to describe Yoo Kihyun, it would be “soft.” It may have sounded inane or patronizing, but from your observations it was nothing but the truth. The colors and clothes he wore, the glasses that graced his nose on days when the effort of waking up had clearly made putting in contacts too much of a chore, the way he styled his hair, the way he spoke. Not his voice necessarily, but the mannerisms that accompanied him in everything. He just seemed so… delicate.

But no one would ever ask you your opinion on Kihyun. Why should they? After all, bad girls and good boys weren’t supposed to mix. It went against all known laws of nature and Darwinism. “Opposites attract” be damned.

Now in your third year, you had Changkyun to thank for the fact your grades would be passable enough to graduate (kid was a fucking genius – no wonder he was in advanced classes), while Kihyun would probably get honors all around and get a full ride scholarship to the SKY school of his choice. The distance between you two couldn't be further apart. But you hadn't a problem with that in years.

“He was checking you out again,” a voice remarked from next to you. A glance told you it was Changkyun, face devoid of little emotion aside from curiosity as you both watched Kihyun and Hoseok disappear into the school. The son of two people of science, sometimes he was more observant than he let on. And you weren't really keen on hearing his thoughts at the moment.

“What, you jealous?” You shot, a weak attempt at diverting the conversation. He snorted but let you have your way.

“That another guy was looking at you? No, not really.” You feigned offence.

“Do I mean that little to you Im Changkyun?” With a roll of his eyes, he slid his arm around your waist and waggled his eyebrows.

“Of course not, baby. But there's no need to be jealous when we both know I'm the better man for you.” You snickered and shoved him away. This was normal for you two. Sure, you'd had one or ten inebriated run-ins with Changkyun but anything beyond that would've been weird. He'd basically become your little brother at this point, and you had no desire to fully cross that line. He was cute and all, but he was a good kid - didn't even smoke like the rest of them, just sort of fell in with your crowd by chance, thanks to his unfortunate but adorable tendencies toward the comedic that often landed him in trouble. Still, he was too pure for your tastes.

“You're so fucking weird!” The bell rang but neither of you moved from your spot against the wall. “Get going kid, you'll be late for class.”

“Not unless you're going too - you promised me you'd actually try to be in class more this term!” Groaning, you grabbed his arm and began to trudge inside.

“Fine, but only because you won't let me hear the end of it otherwise.”

One of the benefits of hanging with the “wrong” crowd was that they knew how to let loose better than anyone at school. Even the upper crust kids with all their money couldn't have thrown a better shindig than some of the people you knew. It might not compare to a legendary college party, but for a bunch of kids with little money and no I.D., it was pretty damn good.

It came as no surprise that the impending end of third year, and subsequently your days spent unwillingly trapped in the prison of the education system, meant the biggest party anyone could manage. Considering it was being hosted at the pad of some other kids in your year who had a little cash to burn and were lucky enough to not be under the watchful eye of parentals, it promised to be a showstopper.

No literally, that's what it said on the event invite that went out.

“This is cheesy as fuck and Yoongi knows it,” you commented derisively when you got the message. Changkyun rolled his eyes.

“I bet you five bowls of ramen one of his friends wrote it. Yoongi doesn't throw parties of his own volition.”

“Probably. This reeks of that university friend of his… The flower boy one, what was his name?” You may or may not have been a little too lifted to really recall.

“Fuck if I know, they all look like flower boys.” You cackled.

“True.”

Flower boy or not, the party at Yoongi’s was going strong the moment you were ushered in by someone who was definitely not your usually somber friend, and held all the promise of only going up. The small place was already close to critical mass, and there was music thrumming like the very walls were alive. The party itself may not have been his idea, but the music was definitely all Min Yoongi. He would probably die before letting someone else make the playlist, lest they choose something that forever ruined his musical genius image.

If he could be said to already have anything of the sort. You didn't know a damn thing about that stuff.

After you had secured a red solo cup of… something you'd forget the name of within minutes after asking about it, you began to make the rounds about the place. Some of your usual crowd was here, some people that had to be college friends of Yoongi’s friend, and a motley assortment of other people you'd only feign friendliness with until the next morning when they'd lost the alcohol haze that made them tolerable. Definitely party of the year material.

Eventually you found yourself in what appeared to be the center of dance activity. What the room had been used for before you couldn't begin to guess; it was now so packed with gyrating bodies you couldn't see much else. Downing the rest of your drink, you abandoned the cup and resigned yourself to its loss before wiggling your way into the fray.

It didn’t take long for someone's hands to find their way to your waist, but with the bass and alcohol mixing into a lovely thumping in your blood, you couldn't have cared less. For some time you let them stay there, helping steady you against the overwhelming flow of music and body heat alike, even gentlemanly keeping you from being collided with on a few occasions. You didn't bother objecting until the song slowed to some disgusting ballad (no doubt another of Yoongi’s friends’ choices that had been sneakily added without his approval), and the urge for another drink surpassed your desire to dance, especially to a ballad with someone you felt the furthest thing from sappy feelings for. A few taps and they kindly released you, allowing you to finally turn and face your partner. Pleasant surprise colored your smile.

“Hoseok! I didn't expect to see you here!” The tall blonde grinned down at you.

“Hey! Yeah we weren't sure if we were gonna come either, but decided we couldn't miss it, I guess.” Your sluggish and cloudy mind struggled to interpret his choice of pronouns.

“‘We’?” You managed to ask. He chuckled.

“Yeah, me and some of the guys. I think Minhyuk is here somewhere, I know he'd love to say hi.”

“Yah, did you bring underclassmen?” You accused, jabbing a finger at him. He just laughed again.

“You know as well as I do they would've insisted on coming anyway. You can't tell me you didn’t bring Changkyunie.” You pouted.

“I tried! He said he was busy, so I'm all by myself.” With a grin, Hoseok placed one of his ridiculously long arms around your shoulders and began to pull you away from the crowded dance floor.

“Well, you don’t have to be alone anymore! Come hang out with us - it’ll be way more fun that way, anyway.”

“I dunno, think you guys can keep up? I’m kind of a party animal.”

“Alright Sparky, we’ll see how long that lasts.”

Truth be told, you were grateful that Hoseok was coercing you into doing something other than pounding drinks until you were able to make friends with literally anyone here. As much as you insisted that him and his crowd weren’t the kind of people you associated with, it was better to be there with someone you kind of knew, rather than fifty people you didn’t particularly like.

You followed as he wove through the crowds in the small apartment, eyes trained on his back so as not to lose him in the masses. If someone stopped him, you lingered, nursing an offered drink or just staring off into the crowds until he nudged you and you two started moving again. The place wasn’t big, but just large enough that it felt like you had stopped and talked to everyone attending, and that it had taken hours to cross the few rooms to where a small number of other boys were sitting.

An incoherent screech of excitement was all the warning you got before a body collided with yours, nearly knocking you over. With Hoseok’s help, you were able to right yourself enough to safely disengage your attacker and identify him. From beneath a mop of burgundy hair, Lee Minhyuk grinned with all the force of the sun at you. A warm chuckle bubbled out of you at the almost puppy-like expression on his face. You'd never been good at pretenses with him, and the alcohol certainly didn't help.

“Hi Minhyuk,” you offered and he latched onto you like a veritable koala. Gosh, who knew string beans could be so heavy!

“I feel like it’s been ages since we saw you,” he whined, the words almost lost in the high-pitched tone of his voice directly in your ear. You patted his back.

“Well, we are in different classes. We don’t really get a chance to see each other much these days.” He pulled back just enough to pout at you.

“You could come say hi! Even Changkyun visits more than you do, and you guys hang out together all the time.” A small kernel of guilt wormed its way into your stomach at his words. Perhaps it was the alcohol making you more sympathetic, but you did feel a bit guilty… But you just didn’t hang out with the same people anymore. In all honesty you figured that Minhyuk and the others wouldn’t really want to hang out with you anyway, after the way things had changed between you over the years, and with the reputation you'd gained for yourself. The only reason Hoseok was still civil was because he was weird (and, you suspected, because of Changkyun, though you didn’t want to risk the muscle bunny’s physical retaliation for any such implication).

“I-I’ll try to start doing that more often,” you managed to promise, and he seemed satisfied, finally unwinding his hold on you to plop down on the couch, wedging himself in next to another boy from Changkyun’s grade named Hyungwon, and his own classmate Jooheon. No need to remind the poor boy that in just a few weeks that would no longer be possible. After all, graduation was around the corner meaning another mass exodus that would include you, Hoseok and…

You stopped your train of thought there but it didn’t make a difference, as a second later, you saw someone appear on Hoseok’s other side, a red plastic cup clutched in his grip.

Kihyun.

Even as you attempted to shift your gaze, Hoseok, in all his lovable idiocy, seemed to notice him too, and grinned at the shorter boy.

“Hey Kihyun, I was wondering where you’d gotten off to!” Kihyun shrugged.

“Just went to get another drink,” he answered, taking a blase sip of said drink. You did your absolute best to start shuffling off in the opposite direction, but without even taking his eyes off Kihyun, Hoseok reached back and grasped your wrist, preventing your escape.

“Well, guess who I found out on the dance floor a bit ago!” With a yank, you stumbled and barely managed to avoid spilling the contents of your own cup as Hoseok tugged you in front of him. Wide-eyed, your startled gaze met Kihyun’s and you prayed to everything holy that you didn’t turn red from how awkward this was about to be.

“Uh, hey,” you supplied lamely. For a few moments he seemed to just stare at you, like you were a difficult puzzle and he wasn’t sure how to go about starting to put the pieces together. Then it was gone and you could’ve sworn you saw the spark die in his eyes, replaced instead with cooly polite disinterest.

Okay, fuckin’ ouch.

“Hey. Wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight.” Even his tone was distant, and you wondered vaguely why you were mildly offended by that. The feeling wouldn’t go away, however, and in your irritation, confusion, and inebriation, you glowered as you snapped back at him.

“Yeah, well, you’re not the only one who’s friends with Yoongi.” He blinked.

“Of course I’m not,” he said simply. You couldn’t seem to form a response.

Before your irritation was able to boil over, however, Minhyuk yelled something from his spot on the couch, and you found yourself swept up in their shenanigans. Grateful for the chance to go back to feigning ignorance of Kihyun as usual, you allowed the younger boys to goad you into several rounds of dumb party and drinking games, dancing to too many songs until you were stumbling for a place to sit, and inane chatter about anything and everything your swimming minds could conjure. Easy, comfortable, just like the old days.

Eventually, you were able to flop wearily down on the couch for a break, though it took much insistence and cajoling of the boys for you to get your peace. You’d almost forgotten how high-energy they could be sometimes… How Hyunwoo had ever managed to keep them in line without you was a complete mystery. Your respite was short-lived, however, as someone sat down next to you a few moments later, disturbing the relative calm you’d been channeling into your system. At this point, you were unsurprised that it was Hoseok who kept appearing next to you at odd times, but you were grateful for his slightly (only slightly) more sane company.

“Jeez, you’d think you were running a kindergarten class by how exhausted you look.” A rueful smile twisted your lips.

“Try preschool. Have they always been this crazy?” You both chuckled.

“Pretty much. It only got worse over the last few years, and god knows a party is just the catalyst for their true crazy to come out.” As if to prove his point, Jooheon chose that moment to hoist Minhyuk up next to him where they stood on a coffee table, draping some poor girl’s coat across the red-haired boy’s shoulders and starting to shout poorly recalled quotes from Titanic. It was perfect blackmail material for later, but you couldn’t be bothered with the effort of finding your phone.

“I guess I missed a lot,” you muttered after a few prolonged moments of silence. Hoseok shrugged.

“Yeah you have.” A pause in which you tried to decide if you should be offended by his bluntness or not. “But it’s not too late to try to make up that time.”

“We graduate in less than a month. And when that happens, you crazies will go off to your dream schools, and I’ll pump gas for snobs until I turn to stripping or become a severely depressed office lackey. Not exactly a future ripe with time for catching up.” Your voice was bitter as you spewed the words you’d heard countless times, either between the lines or audibly from the sneering lips of parents and teachers who’d looked down on you for not being a star student like everyone else. Rather than rush to object, Hoseok stared at you, like he was deciding what to say, and you could feel your hackles rising the more it seemed like it would be something you wouldn’t be keen to hear.

“Were you always this unfun?”

“That’s not even a word,” you pointed out, and he jabbed a finger at you.

“SEE! Unfun!” You only snorted in reply, taking another long pull of your drink. “You know what it is? I bet you need to get laid.” The drink was actually quite tasty, and it was with much regret that you felt it nearly spray out of your mouth at his words, head whipping around to stare at him, dumbfounded. You found no sympathy, however, as he only started crowing with laughter.

“What the actual fuck Shin Hoseok?!” He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by another round of snickering. “We’re still in high school for chrissake, are you fucking nuts?”

“All the more reason,” he replied, as if speaking with the wisdom of Buddha himself. “These are the years of our lives where hormones screw everything up, and nothing fixes that better than a good lay.” If your eyes rolled any harder around your sockets, they’d have fallen out.

“Whatever dude.”

“You and Kihyun have that in common, you know.” Oops, you nearly choked on your drink again at this comment, though Hosoek had stated it in such an offhanded way, it was like he was commenting on the weather. When you’d gathered yourself, you glared at him.

“Kihyun and I have nothing in common, and you know it.” Hoseok’s smirk was wolfish.

“Dunno about that one, sweetheart.” He waggled his fingers at you like some kind of grand wizard. “All those years as neighbors, all that built up sexual tension… You two should really consider working it out.”

“Okay, time to fuck off and pound three more drinks so I can tolerate your presence,” you declared, shoving with all your might in an attempt to kick him off the couch. Curse the incredibly sturdy way he was built, and your distinct lack of physical force. He let you struggle for a few moments before chuckling and standing of his own accord, causing you to almost topple off the couch thanks to an alcohol-induced lack of coordination.

“Think about what I said,” he teased, darting out of the way as you tried valiantly to slap him. Before you could stand and chase him down, he hurried out of the room toward the kitchen, and you collapsed back on the couch with a sigh, wondering how in the world you had ever been friends with a dumbass like him.

Kihyun’s grandmother used to tell him that he should try not to frown, or his face would get stuck like that. His mother was also fond of lecturing about how making sour expressions would cause premature wrinkles. Right now, he couldn’t care less about either of those things. Instead, he watched over the rim of yet another cup of some alcohol he wouldn’t remember in five minutes, brows pressing into what would probably be a permanent crease in his glabella. You, on the other hand, were shrieking with laughter as Minhyuk attempted to balance you on his shoulders, hunched over and clinging to his head for dear life, which just exacerbated the whole situation as the way you’d wound your limbs around his face rendered him blind. Jooheon and Hyungwon sat on the couch again, lazily yelling warnings to prevent the two of you toppling over entirely.

Something about the scene made him unnecessarily irritated.

His glowering was interrupted, however, when a presence made itself known beside him by lightly bumping his shoulder. He turned to tell the person to fuck the fuck off and leave him alone, only to discover it was Hoseok. Biting back the obscenities he’d intended to let slip, Kihyun sighed instead.

“What?” The taller boy had the audacity to give him a look of feigned innocence.

“What ‘what’?” He asked peevishly. Honestly, sometimes Kihyun wondered who the real child in their group was. “I just came over to make sure you were doing okay.”

“I’m doing just fucking great, why wouldn’t I be?” No response this time, just a pointed stare that had him sighing again. “Okay fine, maybe not, but that doesn’t warrant you coming over here and pestering me.”

“You should just talk to her.” Kihyun gave him his most dubious look, something he was quite accomplished at. Hoseok rolled his eyes. “First you’re staring at her at school, now you’re watching in a corner as she rough houses with our friends instead of trying to talk. That only does two things: one, make you look creepy as hell, and two, prolong your suffering.”

“She hasn’t talked to me since we were twelve. Why would that suddenly change?” Hoseok shot him an exasperated look.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because it’s a party, and just because you guys don’t hang out anymore doesn’t mean you can’t be civil.”

“She actively avoids me. Just because she lets you talk to her doesn’t mean it’ll work for me. And that only happens because you hang around Changkyun all the time giving him goo-goo eyes.” Hoseok huffed, a comically offended sound that made him seem like a drama heroine. Kihyun snickered. “But seriously, it’s fine. Things have changed.”  He seemed to think something over before he smirked at Kihyun.

“Or you could just make a move on her, that’d certainly get her attention.” It was with world class self-control that Kihyun prevented himself from dying of liquid inhalation.

“Excuse me?” He demanded, and Hoseok put his hands up in surrender.

“Calm down, dude. I’m just saying that maybe you two could stand to work out some of your weird shit physically rather than by talking. Not a lot of room for awkward bullshit when you’re going down on someone.”

“Oh my god,” Kihyun groaned, turning away to Hoseok couldn’t see the color beginning to tinge his cheeks and ears. It took several moments of deep breathing to keep him from punching the other boy, but eventually he turned around, entirely exasperated. “Look dude, even if that’s true, I can’t just go up to her and start- start putting the moves on her or something. She’d probably flip me over her shoulder and stomp on me with those shiny ass combat boots for good measure.” Hoseok tilted his head to the side, humming a sound of dissention.

“Maybe, or maybe she’d be more willing than you think. Just because you think your feelings are one-sided doesn’t mean they actually have to be.” Kihyun sighed.

“Are you done?”

“I guess so.” Hoseok mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like Thought this would be a lot easier, and Kihyun shot him a bemused look.

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it! I’m gonna get another drink, you want one?”

“Uh, sure. Thanks.” And then Hoseok was sprinting off into the crowd, leaving Kihyun with an empty cup, their squealing friends, and a dozen or more questions spinning so fast he thought he might fall over from vertigo. Was it… really possible that you weren’t as cold-hearted about him as you appeared? If he walked up to you right now, drink in hand, and demanded an answer on your feelings, would you piledrive him, or would you reciprocate? Could he get away with even attempting to initiate something like that?

A second later, he shook his head to clear it. No fucking way, Hoseok was just drunk and spewing useless bullshit. With a sigh, he looked down to find his cup was empty. You were still monkeying around with the others, a spectacle he had no desire to continue witnessing, so he wandered off to find his own damn drink. He was going to need more than a few of them to get through this party.

By the time you’d grown tired of nearly crushing Minhyuk’s head between your knees (and almost fallen in a graceless tangle to the floor multiple times), you were absolutely sloshed. In between bouts of laughter and screaming, multiple cups of who-knew-what concoctions were passed among you. Now, you leaned against Hyungwon on the couch while you watched Jooheon and Minhyuk drunkenly act out a scene from some drama. What one it was supposed to be you couldn’t have possibly known from their poor ability to remain on their feet longer than a few moments to deliver their lines.

Your giggles had reached a nearly hysterical pitch when your pillow mumbled something about the bathroom and left you to nearly fall over, whining a few curses at his retreating back. They went unheard and unnoticed, and you were content to lay there for a few minutes, if only because it allowed the rush that had swirled up into your mind to settle down. The possibility of simply sleeping the rest of the night away in your current position crossed your mind, but before you could tumble into full sleep, the couch shifted beneath you again as someone took up the empty spot next to you.

“Hey,” you complained, pulling your knees closer to yourself so you could use them as leverage to maneuver into a sitting position. Any other choice words you had prepared died off on your tongue when your new companion tilted his head lazily in your direction.

“Sorry, didn’t see you there.” Kihyun’s words were slurred just enough to make it clear he’d had as much to drink as the rest of you, and you suppressed a chuckle at the idea that someone so traditionally a goody-two-shoes had gone off the deep end. Instead you made some non-committal noise at the back of your throat, adjusting so you were more comfortable on the couch.

In some more sober part of your mind, you knew the situation and its accompanying silence ought to be awkward, but you were swimming in a warm, lovely sea of vodka and rum and couldn’t have felt less uncomfortable. The pair of you sat quietly, watching with total disinterest at the other people milling about the party. God, you kind of really just wanted to sleep now that you’d had a taste of what the Sandman had to offer…

Just as you were contemplating the risks of leaning over to go back to sleep (as logically as you could under current conditions), you registered that someone was saying your name. It took another few seconds and repetitions of those same syllables for you to understand it was Kihyun. He was staring at you, and you struggled to focus on the words coming out of his mouth. Hm, had he always had such a nice-looking mouth?

Wait, no, focus.

“.../n are you listening to me?” No, you weren’t, not even a little bit, and you tried to look at least a little apologetic or sheepish. He barked out a sound that might have resembled a laugh any other day of the week, but was instead a shadow of any sort of amused sound. “I guess Hoseok was right… Some things don’t change.”

“What are you talking about?” Yeah you were way too drunk for Kihyun to get all serious on you. And since when was he seriously listening to a thing the muscle bunny said? Everyone knew 85% of what Shin Hoseok said was probably bullshit or trolling.

“Even back then, you weren’t a good listener. Never took anything I told you seriously. Still don’t, it seems.” You groaned and let your head drop to his shoulder so you could stare him in the eyes for emphasis.

“Kihyun-ah,” you managed after a moment. “I can’t focus on a single thing right now. Don’t take it personally, ‘kay?” You dragged out the last syllable, following it up with a giggle at how girlish it sounded. For a few moments you stayed like that, eyes unfocused as you looked over his face. It felt like ages since you’d really gotten a good look at him. And even with your mentality in tatters, you could tell he had grown up, in a way you hadn’t. He’d always been the slightly more mature one of the two of you, and now it really showed. Even if he was expressionless as he stared back at you.

“Hey,” he mumbled as the silence stretched on like slowly shaping taffy. You offered only a hum in response, full sentences and words a burden too great for your mind right now. “Can I kiss you?” You laughed and punched him in the sternum, but he barely flinched. His face was still blank, leaving you with no room to tell what he was thinking.

“Why would you wanna do that?”

“Because I like you. And I want to.” You shrugged, his slurred confession not even registering in your molasses mind.

“‘kay.” A simple word, but it was all the answer you could be bothered offering right now. It seemed to be enough for him though - as soon as it left your lips, his were closing the few centimeters that separated you two. You hummed against his mouth, a pleasant buzz racing across your skin that had absolutely nothing to do with the alcohol.

It didn’t take long for the position to make your neck start complaining, and you shifted, barely breaking contact with him as you put one knee between both of his and leaned against him. He didn’t seem to mind that you’d made the choice to sit on him rather than the couch, only moving to slide one hand up your neck into your hair, the other latching onto the small of your back so you didn’t fall to the floor behind you.

The painful need for oxygen was the only thing that compelled Kihyun to gently grip your shoulders and pull you off him. His eyes were wide, hair just as messy and wild as the look on his face, and you were certain you probably didn’t look much different. You couldn’t think of a single thing to say, and he seemed to be rendered just as mute. Rather than search for words you couldn’t dredge up, you leaned forward again, bracing yourself on the couch beside his head, and kissed him again. A strangled sound rumbled through him and from his mouth to yours, and you couldn’t help but smile just a bit. Who knew Kihyun would be such a moaner? You’d barely been making out a few minutes and he was already resorting to sounds rather than words.

You pushed further, skating your tongue across his bottom lip, and his hand on your back slid down across the fabric of your skirt before settling and pressing you closer to him. If the other boys saw what was going down, you didn’t know or care, too busy making room for his tongue to chase yours back into your own mouth. Whoever decided this was a good move when making out was clearly a gods-sent prophet or something.

When you finally broke away again, you’d lost count of the number of groans and other small sounds the two of you had dragged out of each other with roaming hands and sloppy kisses alike. You were a panting mess, your hands gripping the shoulders of his shirt for dear life as your lungs searched for oxygen to stop the room from spinning. Kihyun was clutching your hips like a drowning man, his own breathing ragged. You hadn’t been looking for a good time like this when you came here tonight, but you weren’t complaining, especially when it was clear the feeling was mutual.

“Can we…?” You let the question trail off, not sure how to phrase it, but he seemed to understand your intentions.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

He released you just long enough to let you slide off his lap. The room was still spinning a bit thanks to the lovely mix of alcohol, hormones and lack of oxygen that had you ever so slightly off balance. When he was standing again, he took your hand and began leading the way. Honestly, you were surprised he had even the slightest idea of where he was going, knowing you would’ve kept the two of you blindly guessing long enough for the fire simmering in your stomach to die down.

It took a few tries, and nearly walking in on other people, to find a room that was unoccupied. But when you did, Kihyun tugged you inside and slammed the door. It took only a few seconds more for his mouth to attach itself to yours, the fierceness of his actions pressing you firmly up against the wood. Your arms found their way around his neck, fingers carding through the fine hair at the base of his neck and giving you the stability you needed to wrap your legs around his waist. The movement received a complaint from a small voice in your mind calling you cliche, but you squashed it in favor of molding yourself against him and feeling more than hearing as he groaned.

Even Kihyun was only so strong though, and you were startled from your heated connection by an abrupt shift in gravity. Eyes you didn’t remember closing opened again, and you realized you were on your back, Kihyun’s intense stare pinning you to the mattress beneath you almost as effectively as his physical hold on you. What little breath you’d kept in your lungs escaped you in that moment, and you couldn’t do much except stare back at him.

“Kihyun?” You asked after a few moments when he didn’t move or say anything. A shaky breath escaped him and his head dropped to your shoulder. Surprised, you simply waited for an explanation.

“I’m not going to last much longer,” he mumbled into your shirt, and you realized the reason he’d stopped moving was that he was trying to restrain himself. The thought brought a soft chuckle out of you, and he raised his head just enough to shoot you an indignant look.

“That’s okay,” you told him, running a hand through his hair and pushing it back from his forehead. He frowned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s okay.” His sigh of relief fanned your neck, stirring something dark and heady inside you. Then he was hovering over you again, something almost like a smirk on his lips, and it struck you in that moment that he had never looked further from his “good boy” image than he did right now. And good lord was it hot. His fingers dug into your biceps as he pressed you into the sheets, but that too only served to fan the flames beginning to heat your skin.

“I won’t go easy on you.” You grinned wolfishly up at him, reaching up to drag your nails down his spine. You could feel him shudder, his hold on you tightening even further, to a point that was almost painful, but rather than make you wince or shy away, it made you arch your body closer to his.

“Good.”

With bleary and sleep-crusted eyes, you woke the next morning in an unfamiliar room. Blinking away your weariness and the pressure building in your skull, you rolled onto your side and tried to will the memories back. But it wasn’t until you felt a shifting beside you that recollection nearly drowned you.

Lying with his back to you on the other side of the bed was Kihyun, and the realization made your blood run cold. No, no, you couldn’t have… And yet the presence of your clothes scattered about the foot of the bed, and the tangled mess of the sheets made the truth all too evident. You had, in all your drunken stupidity, slept with Yoo Kihyun. At Yoongi’s house (though at least that part made sense; neither of you would’ve wanted to attempt anything with parents either of  your homes).

Guilt swarmed through you as you recalled the things the two of you had said, and done, the night before. You had never meant to do this with him, to lead him into believing there could ever be anything between you, even if that something was purely physical. Someone like Yoo Kihyun deserved better than a one night stand with a hot mess like you. The fact that you’d both been drunk off your asses, rather than make you feel any small bit better about the situation, only made your guilt grow. You might as well have taken advantage of him, even though you knew both of you had very easily consented.

Unable to bear the memories or the aching twist in your stomach, you slid as quietly as possible off the bed, and hurriedly slid on your clothes. It wasn’t ideal reusing your outfit from last night, but until you could get home it couldn’t be helped. You paused in the act of wrapping your laces around your shoes - too lazy to fully tie them - and glanced behind you. Kihyun had shifted, whatever small flecks of golden light squeezed through the blinds making themselves comfortable on his hair. The sight of him, so at peace and completely unaware, made your heart sting with guilt again.

Could you really do this? Make this a well and true one night stand by vanishing like a ghost? Even as the questions crossed your mind, you knew the answer. You had to do this. It was better this way. It left no room for questions about where you stood, or if this was more than just a quick fuck at a party. But… but maybe you could ease the pain a little bit? Shaking your head at yourself, you dug around the room until you came up with a pen and a small notepad. Tearing out a page, you hurriedly scratched a few short words onto it and dropped it on the pillow you’d used moments earlier.

Then once you found your jacket, you flew from the room, doing your best to close the door as quietly as possible. You only hoped the words you’d left behind would do the trick.

I’m sorry. Let’s just forget this ever happened.

#hallyuwritersnet #kpop scenario #monsta x scenario #kihyun scenario #kpop angst #monsta x angst #kihyun angst #angst #bad girl au #school au #rated t #series ; sober

[lukeysgirl]

The Note Tree ❋ L.H. Pt.11

Part E L E V E N 

Summary: A cherry blossom tree, residing at the farthest part of the schools courtyard. Nobody dwelled there, and you didn’t care much for it. Until you kept hearing one song played over and over, with lyrics changed to touch at your curiosity. They knew you were listening, and one day you gave in and made your way to the pink tree. Waiting for you, a series of notes tied to a single strand of string.

Word Count: 7k+ (jesus wtf)

AN: VERY IMPORTANT GUYS: this might be the last part i release before i enter uni and find myself incredibly busy with class so i am so fucking sorry for that. i wish i could keep writing this consistently and finishing by maybe november but it might be a little longer than that. to those who love TNT: ya’ll are amazing and im so grateful for all the support and love ive gotten for it. im also just so sorry to disappoint, and will try my best to update them as timely and well-done as i may xx 

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.

I M A G I N E 

Thursday - Frozen Day

“You’re so careless!” Savannah lectured, tapping your head in scolding while you sat there and took it. 

For the trip, the teachers had forced all the seniors into the gym at the very moment everyone stepped into the school. The gym, though newly renovated and shiny, was disgusting. The glossed, light-brown (wooden) planks of the floor were ornate with splotches of dirt, dust, and residue of athlete sweat. There were several basketball hoops around, with two scoreboards on the width sides of the gym. Those black scoreboards were off and collecting cobweb with the ceiling emitting super white lights down to practically blind you. 

But that was the least of your worries. 

“Des, if you keep offering me your breakfast burrito, I’m going to bash my head against the wall,” you huffed under your breath, having Des continue to wiggle the said food in front of you. You and the girls were huddled in a corner, with you in the very corner, slung down and allowing your large Thrasher sweatshirt to swallow you. Des had been to your right, sitting in a pretzel with Alexis to your left with her legs folded the same. Savannah sat like a princess, as she chose to wear this long, floral skirt because it matched with her beige crop top. 

“Have you eaten?” Des asked, completely skeptical of you. 

“Yes.”

“How can I believe you?” 

“By trust my word?” You suggested. You understood they were worried and you understand fully well how careless you are. But this was just absolutely uncalled for and unnecessary. “I ate a bagel with raspberry cream cheese and orange grove orange juice.” 

“It sounds like you went to Starbucks.” 

“I did.” 

“Bitch, with what money?” 

“Someone came in clutch,” you replied simply, not necessarily wanting to get too deep. Des stared at you wistfully before looking away, knowing you hadn’t want to say another word more. You looked over to see Alex begin braiding her long, brown locks and you began to randomly wander about Luke and how he dealt with his blonde hair. 

Does he wake up to it being messy? Or is it always curly when he wakes up? Can he put it upwards in some sort of quiff? Is it long enough for a man bun? Oh boy, why the fuck did you even care? 

What about Luke’s hair do you give a shit about? It aggravated you how much your mind played this useless games. Luke has somehow weaved himself into most things you look at. You see video games being broadcasted outside game shops and think about if he had an Xbox or a Playstation. Sometimes when you saw kids play little league sports at parks, you wondered if he’s played any real serious sport. Truth be told, it was bothering you and gave you a headache than you already get when you interact with said boy. 

“Seniors!” Announced a teacher at the dead center of the gym. You didn’t bother looking up, too exhausted to divert your eyes somewhere other than the ground. “If you’d like to see who chose you and your groups camp schedule, come on over!” 

Immediately, you heard people rise with feet dashing the glossed ground over to the center of the gym. A cheap plastic table was set up with folders of papers, likely the schedules and whatever the hell else the man was saying. You were quick to mute him out as you fiddled with your thumbs. You didn’t care enough to see what group or what the schedule was. You just wanted to get it over with. 

“I’ll get the schedule for you,” Alexis hummed, giving your shoulder a squeeze before your three companions rose from the ground and slowly made their way to the lines of students. You sighed, already bored to be in the gym, wasting time by sitting around and not even getting a wink of work. Of all things, you hated not being productive. 

“Y/N.” A familiar male voice sounded through, his figure casting a shadow over you. Being swallowed up by it, your eyes glanced up only to emit a deep sigh before diverting down to the glossed ground. 

“Go away,” you spewed, distaste already dancing on your tongue as Nathan took a seat beside you. You tossed a glance only to find Nathan swallowed up by navy blue sweats and some yellow shirt representing a college you couldn’t exactly make out from your angle. But aggravation soon drowned you as Nathan sat down in a pretzel and scooted closer to merely brush your shoulder with his own. “God, why me?” You breathed, looking up at the ceiling in hopes someone from the skies heard you. 

“You know Y/N, you can’t be cold like that forever,” Nathan pointed out, having you roll your eyes in how little you cared for Nathan’s words. “You might get denied form several jobs in the future if you’re that brutal.” 

“I’m only cold to you because you serve no benefit to me,” you said quietly. “If it’s an employer, of course, I wouldn’t act this way.” 

“You’re a breathing glacier with valid reason,” Nathan hummed, having you still stone-faced before Nathan flicked his wrist to present a sheet of paper to you. You looked at it curiously, taking it from him to read its contents clearly. “I found out what group you’re in, and I was hoping you could do me a favor so I can return a favor.” 

Your eyes dilated, seeing your leader assignment that was the one and only: Luke Hemmings. You figured you were going to be in his group, hence why you hadn’t bothered putting in the effort to beg to Ashton. But you had some hope that maybe one of the boys would give you a little sympathy, regardless of being Luke’s friends. Now you were to suffer greatly on a trip you initially wanted to bail on. 

“What gives you the upper hand to even ask that of me?” You grumbled, knowing as fact Nathan has some sort of ‘threat.’ 

“Are you sure your head didn’t fall on the floor?” Nathan hummed curiously, having you glare over at the chestnut-haired entity. “It seems your intelligence lost a few bolts.” 

“Fuck off and tell me what you’re trying to exchange.” 

“Well, I’m just gonna tell you what I want: to be in Lucas’ group,” Nathan began, having you raise your eyebrow. You weren’t gonna respond, assuming he was going to continue and hopefully finish. “Not only to be around you, but to make sure you’ll be okay.” 

“Oh, and you care over my well-being?” You began sarcastically. “Oh wow, you must think you’re such a good person for caring over a girl like me.” Nathan grinned at this, attempting to dismiss it with an unhurt smile. But you knew in the very curls of his lips the slight pang of pain from your cruel words. 

“I don’t trust that asshole taking care of you any better,” Nathan began quietly, his veined hands clenching onto his knees. “He’s gonna be responsible with 22 others to really dedicate time for you. You know this, Y/N.” 

“I don’t need people looking after me, alright?” You spat. “I’m 18, I’m responsible of my own damn self. Enough that I can take care of myself.” 

“Your nurse’s trip yesterday says otherwise,” Nathan contradicted in a hush tone. You flinched, refusing to meet his gaze as your eyes stared at the shining floor. If you could punch the boy, you would. “No sleep, no food, no water in your system? I dunno about you, but to me it seems like you can’t take care of yourself too well.” 

“Just shut the fuck up already,” you grunted, pulling your sleeves more over your hands as you tugged at them with your hands. “You don’t know shit about me.” 

“I know that your home situation isn’t great,” Nathan dared, having you close your eyes. Just go away, you thought. Just fucking get away from me already. “And if you think I’m being pushy, imagine how Luke would act if he knew.” Right then, your heart stopped, eyes wide and completely laid upon the chestnut-haired imbecile. 

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you growled. “You wouldn’t-- you said you were selfish, that you were glad Luke didn’t know.” 

“Well sure,” Nathan hummed as he leaned a little back. “But I see how Luke annoys you so I figured this exchange would be reasonable. I keep my mouth shut and you get the honor of having me have your back.” 

“I feel like I don’t win as much,” you hummed lowly, your eyes diverting up to study the mobbing group of students seeking their papers. For Nathan to keep quiet and keep Luke at bay, he’ll be in your group for the desire to be near you and watch over you. The entire situation was idiotic, you knew. But you would rather ‘burden’ Nathan with the responsible he refuses to believe he doesn’t have than Luke having it. You still disliked both, but your favoritism resided with Luke if ever the question was put out there. 

“It seems like you would rather much have me annoy you than Luke,” Nathan said with ease. 

“That still makes you annoying, dumbfuck,” you spat, rolling your eyes a bit as you emit a quiet yawn. This frozen day was finding itself to be worse than you honestly expected it to. But you glanced over to see Nathan muted, simply staring at you wistfully. Likely waiting for a response. “...But fine, Holland, okay. I’ll ask Luke. But if he refuses, that’s completely beyond me.” 

“Fair enough then,” Nathan dropped before rising to his feet again. You felt his shadow cast on you once again, his eyes down on you as well as you merely looked up at the boy. “But I do expect you to try, you know.” 

“Ha,” you uttered dryly, watching as he turned the heel and escaped towards the hoard of people. 

Boys are stupid. Boys are stupid and obnoxious, and absolutely one of the things that you didn’t need. You didn’t need anyone, really. But it was really heartwarming to have the girls you did have around. And, you suppose you could give some credit to Luke for being considerate, even when he’s annoying, flirtatious, unnecessary, and moronic. 

“Y/N, you are right!” Des chirped, having you look up to see the 3 infamous ladies return with their papers. She quickly dropped herself beside her, her braids bouncing from the impact as she showed you her paper. “I’m with Calum!” 

“And I’m with Michael.” Savannah mewled with a fond tone. “And Alex got in with Ashton.” 

“Told you guys.” You allowed those girls to sit back in their seats and exchange bubbly words about the plans and what not. You’ll be reading Luke’s group schedule later as you were growing a slow and steady headache. Nathan and this entire keeping a secret was bothering you. Not because you felt guilty about not telling Luke, but feeling like an idiot to have Nathan know at all. You feel more like an idiot to fill yourself up with such strong poisons and lose your mind. 

I should’ve just walked alone from the party, you hummed to yourself. Not even-- I should’ve just not gone. Stupid Luke and his stupid ‘I owe you.’ 

“Ah- I’m in Luke’s group!” A shrill scream suddenly popped you from your self-loathe and discipline to look up and see Nadia wave her paper around in the middle of the gym. Chatter quieted down from this but they still resumed as she flaunted it about to the girls around. And, hilarious enough, the girls’ shoulders drop in disappointment, seeing as they likely wanted to be in his group, too. You shoulders only fell because Nadia was stuck in your group and you really didn’t want to be anywhere near her. The thought even impulsed you to deflate her just a bit. 

“Nobody fucking asked,” you said firmly, loud enough for the words to wash everyone over like a wave. The quiet chatter soon became almost silent whispers as Nadia turned over to you. Her red hair danced from the very action, her entire body swallowed up by a pink-like beige sweater and a brown skirt. She glared down at you, her poppy seed pupils dilating by the small shock that it was you who uttered the words. 

“Look who’s feeling bold today,” Nadia hummed, her 1-inch heels clinking upon the shiny floor as she began making her way to you. You looked up at her, entertained a bit as her shadow was slowly arriving to cast upon you. “What’s wrong, sweetie? Did you not get into his group?” 

“Sorry to burst your ego, Princess,” you spat, opening your paper to break the air to show it to her. “But I’m also in his group. I don’t give enough of a shit, and you have no reason to brag because that’s just you among the other 10 girls with us. So sit the fuck down, alright?” 

A few ‘ooo’s sounded, pairs of wide eyes and surprised expressions floating in your periphery as you looked up at the redhead. She looked a bit embarrassed, her cheeks lightly tainted pink as she waved your paper away. You put it down and shrugged, looking away to see your girlfriends look at you with surprised, wide smiles. 

“You’d best watch your tongue with me, Y/N,” Nadia growled, gritting her teeth together as she leered down at you. “I’ll make your camping time a living hell if you say anything smart like that.” 

“More of a hell than the one I’m currently living?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise. You then chuckled, looking down at the paper loosely between your fingers with delirium. “I’d honestly give you an applause if you could manage that.” 

“Is that a challenge I hear, Y/N?” Nadia hummed, haivng you look up to meet her eyes. Hers were dim, but yours held a dark intimidation that made her eyes flicker with hesitance. But she seemed determined, more or less, to fuck up your time. Before you could counter, Des quickly rose and placed her hands on her hips. 

“Bitch, I dare you to try it,” Des huffed, a splash of attitude leaving her tongue. “You touch my girl at all during that trip and I’ll personally stick your ass up in a tree for an entire damn night.” 

“Great, don’t tell me the ape is in our group, too,” Nadia slurred dreadfully, having you widen your eyes as Des was pulling up her sleeve to pack in a punch. But Savannah and Alex quickly got on their feet and grabbed her before she could dare do a thing. 

“You better watch yourself on that trip,” Des growled. “I may not be in your group, but my ass will switch if I gotta punch you mute.” You chuckled, shaking your head at Nadia’s audacity. You leered up, seeing how she glared down at you as if you’ve done wrong. Quietly, you crumpled the paper and stuffed it in your bag before forcing it on and getting yourself up. 

“I do really feel bad for you, you know,” you hummed as teachers quickly began to rush over to the scene. “I understand that you genuinely need attention to live, and that’s something you can’t help. But I think you shouldn’t do it by picking at others. Especially people who aren’t afraid to give it to you, because I know Des will punch you to another reality. Unless you’re a masochist, then please, be my guest. Fucking swine.” 

“Y/N, out,” a teacher scolded, having you shrug as you sauntered away from the girls and Nadia to leave the gym. Which was fine with you, really, as you didn’t like the smelly disgusting gym to begin with. But when the teacher escorted you out, you met eyes with the control in your mind. You groaned, rolling your eyes in actual disbelief as you began walking down the corridor. “Console your group member, Hemmings.” 

“Will do, sir,” Luke replied, his voice growing distant as you stomped away. You weren’t agitated, you were just pretending to be. Nadia was annoying, but it’s difficult to set you on the edge of vexation as you kept marching away. You could hear Luke’s kicks jog on the floor as his hand made it to your shoulder. “H-hey, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, actually,” you hummed. “Just pretending to be mad so the teachers think I’m an angry, troubled child.” 

“Okay, but why were you sent out?” Luke asked, his hand still on your shoulder. You were waiting for him to force you to face him, but he didn’t. He just kept his hand there, probably one of the most gentlest gestures you’ve ever actually received by a boy. 

“Ah, it was all Nadia, truly,” you hummed, listening to Luke groan in disappointment. “She began flaunting over the fact that she was in your group, so I told her that nobody asked and so she came over and started something. It was only right for me to continue feeding her energy to strengthen her pettiness. It’s like an RPG, Luke. You only get stronger if you fight.” 

“Yeah, but you do learn better strategically if you pull back from fights that you don’t need to take on,” Luke replied, having you shrug. It was a fair answer, you had to admit that much. Not that you’d tell him though, or else you’d be feeding to his ego. And God knows inflating that ego only made you wither. 

“Anyways, we argued some, I said a few bad words, and now I’m out here,” you spewed simply. You then turned, looking up to see strong jawline, sharp nose, blue-eyed devil Luke Hemmings stare down at you worriedly. You actually flinched, unsure as to how to take this. He needn’t words to get your heart racing, and that was something you weren’t too down about at the moment. 

“You better not be like that on the trip,” Luke warned softly, having you raise a brow up at the blonde before you. “I put her in our group because I thought it would be good if you two tried to get along.” 

“Me get along with Nadia?” You asked in genuine astonishment. “Has the Devil split the ground in two and risen from the deep depths of hell? Has God finally descended from the clouds to tell everyone? What is this life?” 

“Y/N, I’m serious,” Luke insisted, his frown deepening as he led you over to lean on the cold, metallic lockers. “I doubt you want to graduate knowing you had a grudge on someone.” 

“I don’t have a grudge on that imbecile,” you huffed. “She’s the one being a bitch to me and the least I can do is defend myself. What gives her the right to be a cunt to me when I haven’t even done a thing to her?” 

“You’re rather cold to her, Y/N--.” 

“You mean the way I act to everyone besides Sav, Des, and Alex?” You spat, leering up at the blonde. Luke gulped harshly, quickly quieting down as your point evidently dissolved into him. “I don’t need to get along with Nadia because I don’t need her in my life at all. So don’t start forcing me to do something that neither I nor her want.”

“I just want to help you--.” 

“Want to help?” You spat immediately, having Luke flinch, his face paling up as he looked down at you. You blinked a few times, staring at him to allow the gears in your brain to turn. “Put Nathan in our group.” 

“What the fuck? No,” Luke immediately dismissed, having you scowl at him as he looked away, slightly vexed. There was something swimming in those ocean eyes, but you couldn’t really hint at it if they weren’t staring directly at you. “Absolutely fucking not.” 

“Excuse me, but I’d like to enjoy myself when we go to the forest,” you hummed. “I want him to swat away all the mosquitoes, or get stung by them instead of me. I’m sorry, but rashes aren’t my thing.” 

“I can do that for you!” Luke insisted. 

“You’re the leader, dumbass,” you huffed, shoving his chest gently. “They need to make sure you’re fine and running well-- you can’t be holed up taking stings for me. Just let Nathan do it so I come back rash-free.” 

“Y/N,” Luke growled. “He’s a nasty person, I don’t want him in my group spreading his bullshit around.” 

“He’s going to be pining over me, he’s not going to be spreading no bullshit.” 

“That makes me more adamant, Y/N,” Luke huffed, rolling his eyes while still refusing to face you. You sighed, annoying that you were forced to actually put in a good amount of effort into getting the other vexing person in your group. Clenching the hold of your bag, you rolling your eyes and stomped your foot. 

“Why do you even hate the guy?” You began. “Your jealousy over him is invalid, so something has to give. Why do you hate Nathan?” 

Luke tried to emit something in response, but found himself frozen and speechless. His upper, pasty cheeks tinted a light pink as he dragged his tongue along his rouge lips. You could see how hesitant his was, the distance in his eyes indicating how rapidly he had been thinking. They were even getting clouded before he crossed his arms over his chest in distress. 

“That’s not important right now,” Luke muttered sheepishly. 

“Right, okay,” you sarcastically replied, somewhat in disbelief from Luke’s stubbornness. “Just get him in our team.” 

“Or else what?” 

“Or else I’m going to tell you to fuck off the entire trip,” you threatened, having Luke’s eyes divert to yours (finally) to flare up in jealousy. “I’ll ignore you when we have breaks for chat, sit as far away from you during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I won’t be bidding you goodnight before I sleep.” 

“Cruel!” Luke blurted, obvious pain dancing in his face as you shrugged. He knew he couldn’t test you, you’d keep your promise in your words. That’s just who you were, even if you didn’t exactly want to avoid Luke. His shoulders slumped, his blue eyes losing its color for a moment before letting out a strangled sigh. “Fucking fine, I’ll transfer him.” 

“Wait, seriously?” You hummed in disbelief, looking up to see disgust in his face as he nodded slowly. You swallowed, mouth a little dry as you chewed on your inner cheek. “Well shit, okay.” 

“But I’m never leaving you two alone,” Luke huffed angrily. “I don’t trust Holland, and I swear if he does anything with you--.” 

“Will you stick him up a tree for an entire night?” You questioned, reminding yourself of Des’ backlash with a smirk on your lips. Luke bit on his bottom lip, contemplating the finishing sentence as he nodded. 

“Sounds about right, yeah.” You giggled, having Luke raise an eye in puzzlement before shrugging it off. He lent you this extremely warm smile, one so gentle that it was intimidating. You looked away, letting out a small sigh as you allowed silence to seep in. But right then you decided to pop it. 

“Anyhow, thanks for the ‘scolding.’“ You curled both index and middle fingers you own in the air. “Can I go back now?” 

“Mm, I dunno,” Luke hummed, watching as he bent over and got his face close to yours. You stiffened, trying to counter his attempt to embarrass you by glaring at him. The tip of his nose was tempting to just meet with yours, knowing that if he did, a spark will somehow surge through and make you jump. “I don’t like it when you’re not around.” 

“That sucks,” you huffed. “You’re just gonna have to deal with it.” I don’t like it when you’re not around. Luke honestly couldn’t give your head or heart an actual break. How inconsiderate. 

“I already do when you’re not,” Luke hummed woefully. Trickles of vexation surged through when listening to his down tone. You didn’t like it, it was too unlike him. “I’m supposed to be in the gym now anyways” 

“Yeah?” 

“Gotta flaunt my leadership and meet all the members,” Luke hummed. “I chose some pretty chill people, so you shouldn’t be too bothered or irritated by them.” 

“Oh geez, did you select them in my favor?” You wondered, “because I’d definitely have to counter that, considering Nadia is in our group.” Luke was quick to bring his hand to the nape of his neck to give his lower curls a scratch. 

“Like I said, it’d be good if you guys could try and get along,” Luke hummed awkwardly. You looked into his azure eyes long and good, flickering your pupils about as he stares directly back. But his irises slowly thin with the widening of his own pupils, having them a little shaky. You were grasping at possible guesses, hoping to find a better reason than the one he insists. 

“Is it because you feel bad for her?” You hummed, looking ponderously in his eyes. The oceans dim, his pupils divert itself elsewhere awkwardly, “oh, that must be it! I wonder why...” you practically sang, going up to catch Luke’s chin with your hand. His eyes go back into yours, lightening up only a tad, “If you’re gonna lie, at least give me a good, believable reason as to why you’d add the Devil reincarnated into our team.” 

“You’re quite good at digging, aren’t you?” Luke praised, evidently a little vexed at your skill. You smiled in triumph, letting him go to back up from him once more. 

“Years of practice,” you murmured, not too fond of the skill but just enough. Pursing your lips together, you studied Luke for a moment before looking back at the menacing gym doors. You changed your demeanor and quickly pulled in the Puppy Eyes, “wanna get out of here?” 

Luke got easily caught,  his heart halting at the very sight of you. You had plead and beg in those mystery swirls, not caring if it seemed so unlike you. It was so unlike, but you have to do some hard shit to get what you want sometimes. And if this was it, you were more than prepared to do something so simple and only slightly degrading. But Luke easily succumbed, “destination?” 

“Away from the gym,” you murmured, having Luke look at you skeptically. But it was obvious he was surprised at your question. Him out of all people? You’d rather go somewhere with one of the girls. But Luke had a bit of superiority now, so you figured he’d be able to get you out of the tiring confines of that gym. “Just follow my lead, yeah?” 

“Y/N, what’re you--.” Before he could do anything, you began to yell. 

“She’s such a fucking bitch, I can’t handle her!” You growled, your face grimacing with pure heat in your words and eyes. A few teachers idling about looked over worriedly, eyes peering in curiosity. Luke widened his eyes, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders as if to hold me back. “Let me go back in there and give her a damn smack on the mouth! Disrespectful bitch!” 

“Uh-- calm down, Y/N!” Luke spoke over you, a little awkward at first but assertive. It was believable enough, you thought, as you continued shifting angrily in his hands. You did press pressure, requiring the appearance to make the teachers actually believe it as the assistant principal got close. 

“Is everything alright, Mr. Hemmings?” Her voice rang, having Luke nod as he continued to hold you. You allowed searing growls to leave you, leering at the teacher to have her flinch only slightly. It was amusing to be considered a cold being around the joint. 

“Yes, it’s alright,” Luke hummed, “but I think I need to chat with her for a moment. Mind getting another professor to go over the schedule with my group? I really need to speak to Y/N as she disagrees with the selection of my team.” 

The teacher merely nods, having Luke nod from his glance before turning back to you. You continued to act rabid, having Luke grab you by the wrist and begin tugging you out of the hallway. You made sure a string of curses stayed behind your legacy as Luke dragged you away. As he did, you looked at his sturdy back and noticed a paper stickied onto it. No fucking way... 

Removing it from his back without him noticing, you jog behind him with your freehand, you shakily open the note and reveal its contents. 

‘I’m a huge cryer. Once I had been away from my mom for about 2 days, and I had sobbed within the first 3 hours of the trip. It’s really bad, but I just miss people a lot when I’m away from those I love -H’ 

He’s adorable, you thought to yourself as you stuffed the note into your pocket. It was annoying that you didn’t know who he was, but learning about him through these small notes was fascinating. You were discovering a real person, either some shy boy who was this cute, or a jock who keeps these as secrets from the public view. It just made you so curious as to who this person was, and it itched at your mind. 

A question though: how the fuck did he get the note attached to the back of Luke R. Hemmings? 

“Hey,” you sounded to Luke, who continued to lead you away. But he slowed down when far enough, having you appreciate the gesture greatly. “Where are we off to?” 

“Away,” Luke replied, having you take the answer as you let him take you to wherever away was. 

You found yourself in your English class, vacant with papers and chewed up yellow pencils sprawled about. 

“I hate this class,” you hummed, slowly sauntering over to the fern chalkboard as Luke walked along the rows of tables by the door. Your fingertips dragged along the words, taking away the colored chalk in the letters and words jumbled about, leaving dashes and holes all around. “I love English, but this class is so slow that I’m ahead,” you hummed, looking around to see the big lesson soon which is ‘Love prevails all.’ 

“Keep in mind that you’re you and everyone else isn’t,” Luke said fondly through chuckles, “everyone else doesn’t have such a smart, easily interpretative brain like yours, Y/N. You’re far too unique to be in the crowd of copies.” You smiled at this curtly, still staring at the green entity to conceal it from his view. 

“I try,” you admit, bringing your hand before you to see your fingers dirtied with the white powder. “But sometimes I do wonder at what cost...” 

“Elaborate?” Luke asked kindly, always willing to lend ears. 

“I mean,” you began, clearing your throat a bit, “I’m very happy to be where I am currently with 3 amazing people as my friends, but they’re always out having a blast at those social gatherings while I keep my face stuck in a textbook.” 

“Nn,” Luke hummed in comprehension, “so you think you’re missing out?” You nodded, looking distantly at the small bookshelf that was at the end of the chalkboard by the windows. “It’s too late to get out there, you know.” 

You scoffed, smiling a bit at his words, “you’re far too optimistic, Luke. We’re already in our senior year-- my 3 years are spent and my last one is already looking to be spent.” 

“That’s because you’re trying too hard in a year that doesn’t matter so much,” Luke snorted, having you immediately snap your neck to face the blonde boy by the back of the classroom. 

“Pardon you, but I’m trying to get myself in a good university,” you snapped, “it doesn’t matter if my grades ‘don’t count’ this year. I’m always going to do my best, to not only prove it to everyone else but to myself. To prove that while everyone else is the same, I’m... different.” 

“Weren’t you just complaining about that?” Luke hummed curiously, having you look away again, studying the textbooks collecting dust, “the only rabbit in the turtle race.” 

“Well, I want to be a little both?” You chimed almost suggestively, “I mean, I definitely won’t let go of my studies for even a second, but maybe I can let loose just for a few hours every weekend? Not so late like your venue concert, but I mean, just a bit of time away from home. B-but I also don’t to seem like a slacker or some party animal...” 

“I kind’ve get what you mean,” Luke began quietly, having you glance over to see him saunter to your desk, “like that’s the side of you that you want to keep and have it exist but not be the entirety of you.” You gave Luke a lingering stare, seeing the way he looked wistfully at your desk and brushed his fingertips along the scratched in gang names and doodles. 

“R-right, yeah,” you sputtered, somewhat surprised at how understanding Luke was. It was like he himself was in the same shoes, but that couldn’t be possible, could it? He was the popular guitar player in a band who goes to parties and has girls constantly swooning over him. He indulges in attention and is said to be the life of every party he steps one single foot in. “Does that sound crazy or somethin...”

“I think it’s cool,” Luke mumbles genuinely, his tender words quickly making your heart race, “you want to stay true to yourself to everything while still experiencing something that’s out of your comfort. It’s really rad, ‘n I respect that.” 

You smiled at this, feeling a little better as you slowly made your way towards the boy, “you’re actually not that bad, Hemmings.” This quickly caught Luke’s attention as he snapped his neck and had his blue eyes widened and fixed on you. No words came through just yet, but his bewilderment was quite the sight, “chillax, I’m just saying you aren’t as much of an ass as you always act.” 

“N-no it’s not that,” Luke stuttered, both large hands covering his face as he looked away. You stayed at his back, confused as those curls perfectly fell down the nape of his pale neck. You wondered what happened, wanting to step closer without stepping on a border. “It’s unusual for you to be candid in such a sweet way-- it caught me a little off guard.” 

“Don’t get used to it,” you huffed, “it’s not gonna happen often, and this might end up being a one time thing.” Then, suddenly, Luke chuckled after your words, and you couldn’t help but lighten up. His laughter was always so gentle and warm, like a morning dew of a summer morning, with bells dancing along with the wind current.

“I won’t,” Luke assured, turning around to show his cheeks only a little bit tinted with pink, “but I like this you-- this raw version. Just makes me fall even deeper.” 

“Fucks sake,” you scoffed, looking away to shake your head in disapproval, “don’t even begin with calling me candid when you’re especially so. You’re not in love with me.” 

Luke let that hang for a moment, having you feel his blue eyes stare at you as he held a smirk. You looked over at the window beside your seat, reminding yourself of the stalker. The Note Tree, the assumed title of the song this random boy wrote for you. Always changed, 30+ days worth of one lyric change that had always kept you wondering how his eyes was always on you but you could never coincidentally meet them. You emit a sigh, somewhat vexed at everything and the stalker and the boy before you with a warm smile and beautiful ocean eyes. 

“That sucks,” Luke hummed, “because I am very much in love with you and proud to be incredibly deep in. I’m practically by the center of the earth-- it’s beyond boiling point.” You shook your head, chuckling at how much of a dork he was. 

“So what should I do about it?” You sounded, rolling your eyes over to see him gnawing on his bottom rouge lip. You wondered curiously at his face, seeing how he hasn’t even faltered a single bit. 

“You’re a good digger, aren’t you?” Luke pointed out, “dig me out.” 

“Oh yeah?” You made your voice just a bit higher, with your eyebrows following and your eyes meeting his with annoyance. “How do I do that? My personality is one that makes everyone run away so I have no idea how to dig you out.” 

“Well, that’s the thing then, isn’t it?” Luke said quietly with a curt, kind smile, “you can’t. Your digging skills only reside in things you know, but you can’t understand my love for you. So there’s nothing you can do but make me sink deeper and deeper,” Luke spewed with more passion, moving closer to you, and oh my, “until my heart is bruised with your name. It’ll throb lovingly with eternal colors that I’ve only seen when I’m with you or you’re dancing about in my head.” 

“I...” you began, looking away completely. You were flushed. Red-faced, red tinted, completely scarlet with no control whatsoever. That asshole is absolutely impossible. “...Fuck off, Luke.” You shoved him back, getting out a few entertained laughs from the blond dolt. 

“Never,” Luke practically sung, having you grumble as you took a seat on the desk in front of yours and leaned your back against the closed window. Luke followed, hopping on your desk as you looked distantly at the empty hall through the door. He noticed the wistful expression on your face and spewed quietly, “you okay, Y/N?” 

“Mind singing me a little something?” You immediately replied, indirectly looking over to see his feet move forwards and backwards like he were on a swing. They suddenly halted from your words though, as you felt his eyes likely on you. He was silent, speechless possibly, “what’s wrong? Can’t do it without your guitar?” 

“N-no,” Luke stuttered, his hands clenching around the edges of the desk as he sat forward with his lanky back slouched. “It’s just... didn’t think you’d ever ask me to sing you something.” 

“Want me to take it back?” You threatened. 

“No!” He immediately stopped you, having you smirk as you began twiddling your thumbs. You didn’t say anything further, having Luke guess to sing anything he’d like. You don’t have requests so long as you heard his voice. His singing voice is not bad, you honestly admitted. “You’re dripping like a saturated sunri-hiiise--” He chose Halsey, what a guy, “-you’re spilling like an overflowing sink. You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a master piece, and now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink-- come in with me, Y/N!” 

“I don’t sing,” you exclaimed in slight bewilderment, looking over to see pure optimism and encouragement. “I’m not that like, good...” 

“But I don’t care,” Luke hummed, having you frown, “I want to hear all of you, every single way you can use your voice. So singing is one.”

“You pervert, that consists of a lot of sound I can make--.” 

“Everything is blue!” Luke sang-screamed, having you flinch, but giggle it out before joining him. “His pills, his hands, his jeans. And now I’m covered in the colors pull apart at the seams-- continue it for me, Y/N.” 

“I swear to god, Luke--.”

“Y/N.” 

“And it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo,” you sang the stretched out word, having you feel completely embarrassed as you sung, “and it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo...” 

“Everythin’ is grey-- his hair, his smoke, his dreams,” Luke sang, his voice raspy and pure, completely raw and absolutely doesn’t need a guitar to help him sound better. He was fantastic, as he deserves to think and know so. “And now he’s so devoid of color-- he don’t know what it means! And he’s blue.... yeah, he’s blue...” 

“You were red,” you began with the bridge, your voice as dramatic as it could be as Luke began to sputter out laughter. You clenched your chest with your hands, “and you liked me because I was blue...” 

“Then you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky!” Luke yelled with you, the both of you raising your arms with glee as you turned to face each other. “But then you decided purple just wasn’t for you.” 

“And it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo,” Luke finished quietly, refusing to go through the whole chorus yet again as you stared at him wistfully. It’s those kind of moments you dream of having: the ones where you can be absolutely silly with another who is just as silly and indulging in it completely. But it’s with Luke and somehow you aren’t mad about it. You’re looking into those blue eyes and noticed just how blue they were. And by God, they were so blue-- so blue that you could fucking drown in them and you had high doubts that Luke had his lifeguard license. 

“Ah, sorry...” you quickly spewed an apology, looking away to distantly return yourself to the vacant corridor. But Luke only let out another laugh, one more lower and genuine, so warm and tender that it greeted your heart kindly with a dose of adrenaline. 

“And you still wonder why I love you?” Luke began, scoffing in disbelief as your cheeks flared up in scarlet. “Can this be our song? So when we get married, we can play it and remember this day.” 

“Luke!” You exclaimed, slamming down on the wooden table. “Slow your damn horses-- you’re way too optimistic about your future.” 

“I don’t think it’s optimism,” Luke said honestly with a smirk. You turned to stare at him, seeing the way he looked up distantly to the ceiling, his blue orbs still. “I know what I want in my future, and I know I want you innit all, through-and-through.”

You allowed the silence to take you over, as you were at a loss of words. So much so that you adjusted your bag on you bag and hopped off the desk. Luke followed, refusing to utter a word as you gestures to the space before you. 

“Y/N?” 

“Grab my wrist and walk us back to the gym please,” you murmured, shyly unfurling your hand as you offered it to him. You could tell he was a bit awestruck, considering this was very out of your nature. But Luke had just done something that you will never forget, even if you wanted to, and somehow-- somehow, you aren’t angry at all. 

“You’re so sly,” Luke chuckled out, his hands with mountains of callouses and rough skin taking your wrist. It was a more delicate hold, much more gentle and not rushed. It felt really sweet and genuine, like he was savoring it all. “Let’s go.”

With that, you allowed the blonde-haired monster take you away, fully flushed and unable to shake off the sudden new speed your heart took on. 

you already know what to do, inbox is right here and please don’t hate me for the super slow updates aha xx 

#Luke Hemmings #Luke Hemmings 5sos #Luke Hemmings 5sauce #Luke Hemmings 5 seconds of summer #Luke Hemmings imagine #Luke Hemmings imagines #Luke Hemmings story #Luke #Luke 5sos #Luke 5sauce #Luke 5 seconds of summer #Luke imagine #Luke imagines #Luke story #Luke series #5sos #5sauce #5 sseconds of summer #5sosfam #xx

[thekintsugikids]

ok so i KNOW this is dumb but i need to rant.

so i watched the new riverdale (which is probably more than enough of a reason for any of you to not read this and trust me—i understand). and ho. ly. shit. i have genuinely NEVER been so mad at a tv show in my whole fucking life.

i’ll admit here and now that i still watch riverdale, because i am unwaveringly stubborn and i’m seeing this shit show through to the end. so things that seem, from a surface level, pretty genuine, anger me more than they should because i know the context of this bullshit. which means that, if you’re reading this, you’ll have to hear all of that shit so i can fully explain my anger.

so the episode is like. almost entirely based around the high school’s guidance counselor (who everyone is conveniently going to for therapy, even a character who goes to another school, but i can’t even be mad at riverdale for using a shitty mcguffin like that. it should be expected) where all the kids talk about their fucked up lives. that’s cool, i can accept that. riverdale does some dumb shit, but if they’d just done a psychological deep dive into their characters after all the trauma they’ve been through over the course of two and a half years? sure. I’ll bite. but this is riverdale, a show that somehow seems to be written by teenage interns who have never written a script in their life and 40-somethings who have never met real teens in their lives, so that’s not what we got. no, what we did get was this shitty school counselor listening to the characters unload genuine emotional trauma about their parents, and hear the counselor basically say, “they’re just trying to protect you.”

now allow me to explain why that is absolute fucking bullshit.

Betty’s mom forced herself into her daughter’s counseling session, because Alice ran to the high school guidance counselor to ask how she should deal with her daughter being sexually actively—which already, big fucking yikes. after a couple of minutes of back and forth about how Betty is being denied by her dream college because she’s having sex and irresponsibly disregarding her future in doing so (which again, huge red flag but let’s put that on the back burner for like two seconds). the counselor decides that they should do a joint session to work some shit out. ok. fine. whatever. moving on.

Betty says her mom lying to her whole life impacted her negatively. which yeah, that actually makes sense. in less than two years her mother went undercover with the fbi and joined a cult, without telling her own child that she at least didn’t believe in what the cult preached, gave away all the money she had saved for college to said cult, and was working with her half brother who Betty believed was dead (this is riverdale it’s a lot to unpack and i don’t blame you if you stop here bc ive been watching this show since 2017 and im still confused when i read that). she also had Betty’s sister committed to the sisters of quiet mercy, which is basically a disciplinary school for literally anything and everything under the sun (pregnant teenagers, mentally ill children, and conversion therapy are a few things we’ve seen it used for), and didn’t tell Betty that her sister was there, or that she was pregnant. her parents let her believe that her sister was a drug addict in rehab, because that was better than anyone knowing their daughter was pregnant, and then ofc that Alice reads her diary because she refuses to let her daughter have any semblance of privacy. keep in mind, this whole episode started with Alice opening Betty’s mail, seeing that she didn’t get accepted to Yale, and telling her that she searched her room to see “what could be distracting her from her future” (and then gets mad at her for having birth control). her mother says, “I just wanted to protect you.” okay, fine. whatever, that’s total bullshit, but fine.

but then!!! she has a breakdown about how she wants Betty to be better and she’s scared of her growing up and she just wants her to be safe which. ok. ok. ok. shut up. she’s said this EVERY. SEASON. OF THE SHOW. how many times can she say the exact same thing and never learn from it? but Betty isn’t having that shit, she’s been dealing w this shit for so long and she’s done, right? she’s growing up, and her mom would have to be incredibly naive to think that she could just stop that, especially when they are living w her bf’s family. like yeah, they live together. they share a room. they’re teenagers, they’re gonna have sex. who. fucking. cares. her mom then tells Betty that it’s because she’s her favorite child, which........Yikes. and the scene ends.

the weird thing is like.....we’re meant to sympathize with Alice??? after everything she has done—much of which i didn’t touch on—because.............Betty’s her favorite child?????? that’s???????? SUPPOSED TO JUSTIFY THE THINGS SHE DOES?????????? no no no NO what the fuck is THAT manipulative bullshit?? what the fuck. i can’t even think of anything else to say about that, what the actual fuck.

but the real kicker ooooooooh bitch. it’s the end of the episode, with Jughead. many other things happen between the Betty’s session and Jughead’s, but they don’t necessarily fit into what I’m trying to say so I won’t be talking about it. but holy shit the things she said to Jughead? for context, Jughead’s father is an abusive piece of shit. he has gotten violent with his own son, threatened him, abandoned him for his gang when the rest of their family moved out of state to get away from him (Jughead’s dad), and he is an alcoholic who did things like getting drunk at Jughead’s 15th birthday party, and that’s just the cliff notes version. basically he’s a grade-a abusive asshole, which is a field i am well-versed in.

FP, Jughead’s father, says that his father was an abusive drunk, so obvs the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. one of the the biggest issues with this show, though, is that they refuse to acknowledge that FP himself is abusive. like, even writers of the show have said that he is not abusive, even saying that viewers were ignorant to believe that he is (and as someone with an abusive father, first of all, fuck you). and Jughead is on a mission this entire season to prove that his grandfather was some great writer or whatever and his work was stolen from him.

now, how exactly does any of that relate to the discussion at hand?, you might be asking. well he’s at riverdale high to get his transcripts or whatever bc he’s at a new school and they’re all assholes (no, im not going into further explanation of that because there is way too much to unpack). so he’s w the guidance counselor, they talk about it and she has the fucking gall to say, “but think about how your father must feel about all of this???” which, okay, i see where she might be coming from. FP was abused by his dad. but Jughead is also abused by FP, so why the fuck should he worry about whether or not he’s hurting his father? FP irreparably damaged Jughead—I promise you all that being homeless, being hit and threatened by your father, being abandoned by your entire family? that’s not shit you can repair. you don’t just fix that shit. that stays with you.

the counselor tells Jughead that he should be proud of the man his father worked to become (like he isn’t still horrible to Jughead????? for example, forcing him to go to a school that he does not want to go to because it makes their family look better??? ok), she says FP is just supporting his son. and the real kicker—she says, “and you repay him by going on this quest to prove that the man that caused him immeasurable pain is some kind of wronged hero? how do you think that makes him feel?” (that is the quote verbatim, by the way. that is what she says so Jughead)

like FP has earned something from Jughead. like Jughead is in the wrong for not wanting his name to be seen as a joke. no, this is how you repay him for everything he did for you. FP abused his son. it’s literally that fucking simple. and Jughead didn’t even want to talk to this lady, she forced him into the conversation while he waited for fucking transcripts so he could apply to colleges. and we, the audience, are supposed to be on the counselor’s side. we’re supposed to say “yeah Jughead, look at everything your dad has done for you! he loves you!!”

Jughead even says it himself. “My poor dad. I’m so selfish.” like his dad deserves his respect. like he earned Jughead’s respect. like FP deserves a single goddamn thing from his son.

keep in mind, this is a show that’s biggest demographic is people under 20 and they are basically telling their audience that their parent’s abuse is just because they’re “protective” or because they’re “trying to help them.” guess what, that’s not fucking true. if your parent, or ANYONE, is abusing you, it is because they are fucked up. it is not because they love you, it’s not because they “want what’s best for you.” and how dare anyone, let alone fucking Riverdale, try to tell me that it is. no, as someone with an abusive father, i fucking promise you, this shit is not out of love. abuse is not love. and fuck Riverdale for trying to tell me that it is.

#i put the whole thing in a read more link bc it includes personal shit that i dont want a bunch of ppl to just like. see. #and it focuses HEAVILY on the topic of abuse so pls do not read it if that makes you uncomfortable #also its v long #like. very. very long. #so if literally no one reads it thats fine #it probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense but i just kind of needed to unload my thoughts because i am so genuinely upset #k anyway bye #also please #don't reblog #for the love of god please dont or i will delete the whole goddamn thing