#even though most of it was online and only a little bit in real life

[fredwkong]

Himbo Maker: Misha

Misha was an Egirl: a European Guy In Real Life. He would do his makeup, put on fake eyelashes, a wig, and a pair of pink headphones with kitty cat ears, and stream video games online. He loved to troll new viewers by spending an hour or so doing a breathy, feminine voice, and then suddenly hit them with his natural Baltic baritone. The way the chat went crazy made it worth it every time.

The whole game was helped by how petit and curvy Misha had always been. Even in his twenties, he still had a soft, almost girlish body and stood at most of other guys’ sternums. Too bad he wasn’t a trans girl, or at least a gay boy, he sometimes thought, looking at his body in the mirror. Gay guys were supposed to go for little guys who looked like him.

One evening, Misha was just starting his stream when some user started acting really weird in chat. He had a username that almost seemed familiar to Misha, but the guy he was thinking of had always been polite and given insightful comments on Misha’s gaming. This guy’s messages were full of typos, and he couldn’t seem to stop talking about his muscles.

Misha was just about to ban the guy when an alert sounded: Misha’s charming, girly laugh, which indicated a user had just donated a hefty sum. Of course, it was this annoying brodude.

“Uh,” said Misha, almost forgetting to put on his femmy voice, “He says, “Bro, this guy liek wants to chat wiht u on stream.” And there’s a link in the donation.”

Clicking the link, Misha found himself looking at a chat website he’d never seen before. “Hold on, let me share my screen,” he simpered, sharing the chat window. Somehow, his usual screen name was already in the bar. It must have populated from his stream.

Mish-kittycat: Like, heyoooo! You okay with being on stream with me? (✿◠‿◠)

Himbo_mkr: No way, bruh! I love meeting new bros. Like, hi stream!

Misha was a bit offended that this chat partner would refer to him as a “bro.” But stream chat seemed interested, so he thought it could be worth a few minutes to humour the donater. It had been a fair amount of money.

Mish-kittycat: What do you want to talk about UwU

Himbo_mkr: Bro, you know that all I ever talk about are my sick gains and going out with guys, lmao

Okay, so this was a troll. They probably wanted to get Misha banned for lewdness or something. Still, at least it was original that the troll character was a gay guy. He rolled his eyes at the stream and said, out loud in his girl voice, “Looks like someone got mad enough to pay to speak with all this.” He gestured down his slim body in tonight’s outfit, a stereotypical Japanese maid costume.

Himbo_mkr: Huhuhu, bro, you clicked on the link. Didn’t force you to do it.

Misha froze. Of course the troll was watching the stream. “Heh, I don’t let meatheaded bullies boss me around,” he chirped, trying to save face.

Himbo_mkr: You sure? You sure like it when your chat bosses you around, bro.

Now this guy was just lying. Misha scowled, even though he knew the expression would make his foundation crack unattractively. “This is a really weird way to bully someone.” He looked at the stream chat, waiting for his subscribers to back him up.

But the character of the chat seemed to have changed. No, they had always been bossy, Misha suddenly remembered. They would tell Misha how to play his games all the time while he pretended to struggle. It was a key part of the dynamic of his channel that chat bossed him around, and right now they were telling him to go back to chatting with this guy. One guy even messaged, “No more talking, kitty. You’re only allowed to write in the chat.” Misha gave the camera a plaintive look, but listened. He always listened to his chat.

Mish-kittycat: So maybe you’re right about that one thing, but coming in here being rude is totally uncool (งᓀ‸ᓂ)ง

Himbo_mkr: Bro, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I was just tryna compliment you on your sick bis, dude.

Misha cocked his head, confused. He was the opposite of buff, that was why he was so good at dressing as a girl. But as he continued to think about it, he remembered all the hours he spent working on his arms. He kept a set of weights next to his bedroom door, and he did bicep curls to failure every time he went through the doorway. Yeah, his biceps were his pride and joy, and they were usually how he showed off his manliness when he revealed his deep voice and accent.

A tip came in. “Flex for us, kitty,” commanded the text-to-speech voice. With a smirk, Misha lifted up one of his arms, feeling it stretch the sleeve of his maid costume as the veins popped. Too bad the rest of his body hadn’t followed his arms and gotten bulky.

Himbo_mkr: We’re all waiting for you to drop your lifting routine, bro! You’ve been totally blowing up.

Misha blushed at the flattery. His physique wasn’t all that impressive. Sure, now that he thought about it, he had been really hitting the weights a lot and eating right. In fact, his room seemed to be full of lifting clothes and supplements as he looked around. But that was because some of his subscribers kept telling him to get to the gym and hit his macros. It had actually been really freeing to just let people pay to tell him what to do on his fitness journey. And it was paying off! Misha definitely couldn’t pass for a girl these days, which was why the channel had changed to be more about doing stuff in-game for the highest bidders.

The maid costume barely wrapped around Misha’s broad pecs, and the garters had torn when he’d tried to pull them up his thick thighs. Sure, it had been funny when the stream started and the chat had gotten Misha to show off his shoulder raises while dressed in a little maid skirt, but the polyester was really starting to chafe on his smooth muscles. It was a relief when a tip rolled in while Misha flexed and said “Kitty, wear comfy clothes.” The chat oooohed and aaaahed as Misha shucked the maid costume, showing off his bulky chest, and pulled on his favourite comfy shirt instead. Sure, it had some tears and stuff, but as a masculine guy, Misha wasn’t worried about dressing up fancy or anything.

The guy whose chat Misha was streaming had been quiet, so Misha hopped back over and sent another message.

Mish-kittyhunk: Thanks man! It’s all about trusting the process.

Himbo_mkr: I can tell that you trust people, bro! You’re like a puppy lmao.

Well, Misha thought, maybe he did like getting bossed around in chat, but it wasn’t like he trusted everyone blindly! Okay, well, maybe he did tend to stop to help people on the road and then lose his wallet a lot. They looked like they needed help! And maybe he did sometimes click on links that meant he needed to take his phone to the store for them to fix, but so did everyone else!

Looking at the chat, who were all laughing about Misha being a totally trusting puppy, Misha had to finally agree. That was why one of his subscribers had gotten him this headset with floppy dog ears on it, after all.

Mish-puphunk: Haha, you got me, dude! That’s why I clicked on this link, too XD

Himbo_mkr: It’s okay, bro. Lots of gay hunks are pretty dumb, it just adds to that himbo appeal.

This time this guy was definitely making stuff up. Misha was totally straight, he just didn’t do well with girls. Well, that and being a submissive hunk online mostly attracted a gay male fanbase. And, well, now that he thought about it, when was the last time Misha had really thought about a girl? Like, maybe if it was a domme? But no, even then, Misha would really prefer a guy to be involved at some point. This guy was probably right, Misha was gay.

It was super hard to think. There was a reason that Misha preferred to let chat do the thinking for him. Even before he realised how much he loved to listen when men told him what to do, Misha had never been much of a deep thinker. That was why most of the stuff in his room was gym gear, gaming stuff, or whatever his subscribers bought for him. Lately, they had been really loving when Misha wore even less clothes and showed off more of his growing body, and Misha was happy to oblige as long as they kept telling him what to do!

Mish-puphunk: Lol I guess you’re right! I just wanna give sirs what they want

Himbo_mkr: Bro, I totally get why you love pup play so much. You just love being obedient and dumb and empty lmao. You, like, pretty much live in your mask these days.

A pup mask…Misha was pretty sure one of his subscribers had sent him one of those once, but it had been really confusing to put on and he’d only worn it once. No, wait, that wasn’t right. Misha was such a ditz! He’d loved the experience of putting on the pup mask and letting himself be a dumb pup for his chat. And chat had loved sending in tips to give him commands like “sit,” “roll over,” and “stick a tail in your hole.”

It had been so popular that the subscribers had told Misha to make it a weekly thing, then a biweekly thing, and by now it had pretty much become what Misha did during his streams. While chatting with this guy had been fun, Misha really wanted to get on with the stream and mask up. He opened his mouth to tell the viewers that, but then remembered that he had been ordered not to talk. Too bad, chat would only hear his deep, resonant voice if they ordered him to bark after he put on his mask.

Mish-puphunk: Okay dude, I gotta go be a good dumb pup now.

Himbo_mkr: Got it, bruh! You got a bunch of hunky doms to please by being a good pup slut!

Chat cheered as Misha stopped streaming the chat window and winked at the camera. An especially hung dom who loved to tip had won the bid war last night to decide what Misha wore, so Misha fondled the straps of his leather harness as he got up to grab his mask. He wondered what his chat full of muscular, horny himbo doms would have him do today.

Misha slipped on the mask and let his mind go blank.

#male transformation #mental change #male tf #muscle tf #reality change #dumber tf #himbofication #himbo maker #pup tf #sub tf #all fwkong

[mochinomnoms]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Congrats on 1k followers Mochi (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡ you so so so so deserve it. You always make me smile when I see your posts so I hope you have fun writing them.

If I might make a request, could I have Jade, Trey, and Ace with a romantic prompt 16 (“I won't lose you again.”)? I want to see them cry a lot just a tiny bit. Feel free to let the vibes guide you, I trust it will be very good.

-Yuri

jade leech, trey clover, ace trappola (separate) x gn!reader [tags] — angst in Ace's, hurt in Trey's, humor in Jade, implied time loop theory [wc} - 1,000+ each prompt 16: “I won't lose you again.” song: Be, Talk (Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby!”), Francesca (Hozier, “Unreal Unearth”) note - @yuri-is-online got it! went a lil wild cause I got massive inspo lmao. Also, let me know if yall can guess the anime I got inspired from with Ace's francesca (1k event)

“Be like the love that discovered the sin (Lover, be good to me) / That freed the first man and will do so again / And, lover, be good to me (Lover, be good to me)”

There were several things that caught Jade Leech’s attention during his life, but only a few kept his attention, after which he’d abandon his ‘toy’. Fungi, mountains, and poisonous flowers, were exceptions, to name a few. He had to admit to himself (and only himself) that there was one thing that revolved in his mind all this time later, dug deep into his brain like the mycelium of his beloved mushrooms in the forest floor. 

One. Thing. You. The funny little human from the broken down dorm. The funny little human with not a single ounce of magic in their veins. The cute little human that was captivated by his merform, an entirely foreign concept to them. The sweet little human with the even sweeter crush on him all throughout his second and third years. 

Perhaps it was cruel of him to entertain your affections with no real desire to follow through on them. Actually, scratch that, it was cruel of him to do so. It was just so…interesting to him at the time. He grew alongside his brother and Azul, none of them exactly being the most sought after during their childhood or teens. They were feared, each of them for multiple reasons, not exactly prime boyfriend material, despite some of their attempts to curate a specially crafted facade. 

Yet, you were so bewitched by him, enthralled, beguiled, and dare he say lovesick with him despite all the signs screaming “DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!” So please, forgive him for shamelessly flirting, and finding entertainment in your reactions. 

The dilated pupils as he leaned down to make eye contact. The sharp intakes when he cornered you against a library shelf, nonchalantly reaching for a random book. The shiver down your spine as he would lean over in class to whisper some nonsense in your ear regarding the class. All for the sole purpose to see you blush a pretty color and get flustered. Not for the jump in his heart at the thought of being revered so sweetly, or a potential lover being so good to him. 

It was just a bit of fun. That’s all it was. That’s all it was meant to be, when he finally left for his internship his third year. He paid no mind to the wistful look on your face as he gave his goodbyes, nor the strange creak in his heart at the sight.

Jade Leech was all he’s always been, and all he will ever be: a man that left his toys once they ceased to interest him.

Which is why he loathed that he’s been unable to remove you from his mind. Though, did he really? It wasn’t annoyance or hate, but an aching yearning that resided in his being. Jade spent many months tossing and turning in bed as he dreamt of you: shy smiles, soft eyes, and sweet words. He wanted, he needed to be free from this love-struck feeling, this infatuation. It was dragging him down from his finely constructed pedestal, like a sin striking an angel down from heaven. 

Yet, coming back to campus now, presenting his internship research at the end of the year, Jade found himself strangely content with the concept as he watched you. You’d taken on your role at NRC quite beautifully, and were the object of affection for many admirers, much to his dismay. Currently, you were attending to visitors, directing them to their destinations and helping the fourth years find their old clubs and friends, while he admired from around the corner.  

You were as you’ve always been, sweet, cute, and clueless to your surroundings as he stalked closer until he was behind you, leaning down until his lips inched close to your ear. 

He purred breathlessly into your ear, “Oh Prefect~ Is that you, my dear?” Jade didn’t miss the shudder that flew up your spine as you jumped away in shock. 

“EEP! W-what the—” You whipped your head around to berate the man before realizing who it was. “Oh, jeez, Jade! You’re back—why’d you do that?!”

The tall man chuckled as he straightened to his normal height. Oh, how he missed you. And your reactions, of course. 

“I simply missed your delightful expressions, you always have been rather reactive with me, haven’t you?”

“What—nooo. I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Huffing, you crossed your arms and jerked your gaze away in irritation. At least, it would be if not for the blush on your cheeks. 

“Fuhuhuh, that blush suggests otherwise.” A giddy feeling filled his chest as Jade inched closer to you, in which you backed away. This continued until he managed to corner you against the stone way of the hallway. 

“This is a familiar sight, is it not?” Jade cooed as he leaned down again, a hand reaching to caress your cheek. “I did miss you, didn’t you—”

A smack. Jade blinked in surprise as his hand was thrown back by your own. Now you looked more annoyed than flustered. 

“I’m sure you did.” You hissed sarcastically, narrowing your gaze at him. “Ha! Please, more like missed messing with me. If you really missed me, you’d’ve called or messaged me like the others in our class. Even Azul checked up on me!”

Jade…hadn’t been aware of that. He’s been too into his own head, reliving memories with you that it hadn’t occurred to him that you’d actually might lose affection for him. 

The thought made him a little sick. 

He pouted, taking your chin in his hand to tilt your head up to his. “Is that so? Please forgive me for my most egregious sin. I don’t wish to lose you again.”

“Hmph, again?” You made a sound of offense. Despite your words, you still looked up at Jade with a  shy gaze, eyes darting down to his lips every so often. 

You never had me in the first place.” You scoffed, trying to avert your blushing gaze, though he kept a firm grip, moving to squeeze your cheeks into a pucker.  

Jade chuckled, “Your previous actions say otherwise, though I am quite a fool for not taking what was mine in the first place.”

“Y-yours?! You-you-you can’t just say things like that—eep!” You let you a deliciously cute squeak, which he swallowed up as he stole a kiss. 

“Now, now my little lover, be good to me and let me revel in your affections, I’ve derived myself from them for far too long now, have I not?”

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice / Imagine being loved by me / I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) / All the things I would do

He wasn’t sure why he had any faith in Crowley to get you back home. Really, that’s on him for thinking the headmage would put any work into your return home. If Trey had known that you’d still be here in Twisted Wonderland, years after his graduation, he wouldn’t have ever broken up with you. 

Granted, it hadn’t exactly been his choice in the first place, as you had abruptly ended the relationship towards the end of his fourth year. Told him to enjoy his life without you weighing him down, despite his insistence that you’d do no such thing. 

Trey finally relented when you told him that you had a world, a family, a home (without him) to get to. Somewhere you belonged, somewhere that wasn’t with him. 

It hurt, yes, knowing that you were never really meant to be with him in the first place. It was simply by magical chance that you were plucked from your world to turn his own upside down. Likewise, it was simply by chance that you and him got together to steal and eat his heart, leaving him almost an empty shell of himself. 

So it was a surprise to see you at Riddle’s wedding, of all places, dressed up in a pretty green outfit as you giggled with some bridesmaids. Seven, you looked good, the fabric hugging all the right spots. Maybe he was being a bit delusional, but Trey swears that the green of your outfit matched the color of his hair, and he had a small possessive streak pass through him at the thought. If it wasn’t for Cater pinching his arm, Trey would be sure that he was in a dream. 

“Ow! Cater!” Trey hissed, rubbing his arm as the strawberry-blonde smirked at him. Cater’s hair was longer now, but he kept his signature style from school still. 

“Go on, talk to them.” Cater nudged him with his elbow, gesturing to you. “I know you want too~”

Trey huffed, watching the liquid in his cup as he swirled his punch. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Oh, come on!” Cater whined, latching on to Trey’s arm. 

“We didn’t end on good terms.”

Cater countered, “You didn’t end on bad ones either.”

“Hmph.” Trey clicked his tongue, eyeing you from the corner of his eye. Your hair had grown longer, and was dyed. It looked nice on you.

Still leaning against Trey, Cater pouted before a mischievous look passed over his face as he leaned in to whisper in Trey’s ear. 

“Besides, I heard they’ve stayed single since being with you.”

“…” A sigh. “Really?”

“Totes, so you really ought to go make a move before that blonde dude does, though it doesn’t look like he’s having much luck.”

Finally deciding to look up, Trey noticed your uncomfortable expression as the guy twirled a strand of your hair with his fingers. Despite being known for being rather mild-mannered, a handful of your mutual friends knew the truth: Trey had a nasty jealous streak where you were concerned. 

He wasn’t sure when or how he got across the room, but Trey was suddenly hovering over you and the blond man, hazel eyes piercing his back. Surprise flitted your features as a hand was offered to you, along with a familiar. 

“Sorry, hope I’m not interrupting.” Trey had to withhold a smug smirk as he saw your eyes light up at the sight of him. “But would you mind sharing a dance?”

You eagerly nodded, taking his hand and mumbling a half-hearted apology to the other man as Trey guided you to the dance floor, filled with couples sharing a dance to the latest love song. 

His hands rested on the familiar curve of your waist as your arms wrapped around his neck, hesitating before finally settling your hands on the back of his neck. The two of you swayed to the music, a surprisingly comfortable silence between you two. Honestly? It was as if you two never broke up, with how your bodies curled into each other, heart-to-heart.

Yet, neither one of you seems willing to start the conversation he was begging to have.

“… You look beautiful—”

“You look wonderful—” 

Both of you opened your mouths at the same time, interrupting each other before sharing a giggle.

“Sorry, sorry. You go first.”

Trey shook his head. “No, go ahead.”

You smiled, something soft and a bit sad, before looking him up and down. “You look good, got stockier. The bakery’s got you working hard, hm?”

“Ha, yeah. It has, what…about you?”

Your lips thinned, as you looked away. “Still at NRC with Grim, we teach the new Beast-tamer curriculum. It’s…fun.”

Silence fell over you two again, the elephant in the room hanging between you two.

“You’ve been here, all this time, then?”

You nodded, a sliver of shame passing over your features. 

“He never did find me a way home after we…you know…”

Trey sharply inhaled, tightening his grip and rubbing soothing circles as he nodded. “Yeah…why didn’t you…tell me. Why didn’t you come back?” He left out the ‘to me.’

You stopped dancing, making him stumble slightly as he watched your face intently, heart aching at the tears growing in your eyes. 

 “I—” Trey watched as you swallowed a lump in your throat, voice shaky. “—I felt so bad that you’d spent your time and energy on being with me when I might not even stay, so I wanted you to go off and live life. But then, he never did find me a way back, and I realized that I just pushed you away, and I just couldn’t face you—”

You broke into sobs, burying your face into his chest as Trey led you away from the dance floor. He managed to pull you into a secluded hallway, one for the staff to enter in and out of the kitchen. Trey held you close as he rubbed your back, resting his cheek on the top of your head as you rested into the crook of his neck.

“I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't be…” You were sniffling, letting out little hiccups as you spoke. “—crying like this… I'm not trying to make you… feel bad… I just… I should go…”

As you moved to pull away, Trey tightened his grip, hand reaching up to caress your cheek as you looked up at him with watery eyes. You were as beautiful as the day you left him, tears streaking your makeup and all. 

“Don’t, please, I—” Trey sighed, resting his forehead against yours. “I won’t lose you again. I missed you so much, please, stay?”

You nodded, still sniffling, as you moved to kiss the palm holding your cheek. “I missed you too, but aren’t you mad at me? For not coming back?”

Trey shook his head, smiling softly at you. Whatever anger he had was immediately forgiven at the sight of you before him. He couldn’t care less about the last few years, as long as he had you back in his arms again. 

“As long as I can have you back in my arms, the past is forgiven. As long as…you’ll have me?”

The two of you shared another sweet smile, leaning into each other to press your lips in a soft, fleeting kiss. The type of kiss you give when you can’t tell the difference between a dream and reality. Cater’s quick photo of you two lovers would later help cement that fact that this was reality. 

It’s a week later that Trey has that exact same picture set as his home and lock screen.

I'd tell them, "Put me back in it" (Da-ah, darlin') / I would do it again (Ah-ah, ah-ah) / If I could hold you for a minute (Da-ah, darlin') / I'd go through it again (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

It’s all dark. It’s always dark until the moment Ace opens his eyes and the coffin opens. Ace goes through the orientation ceremony, only to have it interrupted by you stumbling into the Mirror Chamber, an energetic and egotistical Grim demanding to take your spot. 

It’s dark in the cave that he goes into with you two and Deuce to collect the new chandelier magistone. You're screaming, he’s screaming, so are Deuce and Grim. It’s a shit show, even before Riddle comes to drag him and Deuce back to the dorm. 

It’s dark when he makes the trek to your dorm after being collared. Grumbling about just wanting a snack, about Riddle’s unnecessary rage, and about who the hell can remember all 810 rules. It’s light, though, that he sees when you open the door to Ramshackle, the warm, old lightbulbs from the hallway creating a halo around you. 

It’s light again, in the morning as the sun filters through the broken window, you poking him awake to get to class.

Ace has never been one to get sentimental, the idea of love is frightening, to be frank. But looking at you again, light curtaining your features, he was reminded why he did what he did. 

Why he punched Riddle for his outburst and insults to you. 

Why he threw himself into the fight against Leona as he threatened to turn you to sand. 

Why he let himself get “tricked” by Azul again and again, get beaten up by the twins under the sea again and again. Why he tried to run back to school to your rescue, only to be too late again and again. Why he endured the embarrassment of losing the SDC. 

He’d hoped that this time he’d be able to avoid getting into a coma from the S.T.Y.X. Charon robots again, but he had no luck, so you once again had to depend on Rook and Epel getting you through the Isle of Woe. Maybe he should’ve focused on getting Grim back after scratching you, or maybe just prevented him from eating all the blot stones, then you wouldn’t have been in this mess. 

It might have prevented Malleus’s own blot, though Ace wasn’t really sure what led to his spiraling. It was probably a combination of a lot of information, as it was with the rest of the blots. Either way, he’d been hoping that preventing Grim from eating the 8th blot stone would’ve prevented this. 

Ace wouldn’t know though, as he’s been through this year at least 4 times now. Trying to prevent what he’s slowly starting to believe is inevitable.  

He’s replayed your deaths over and over in his brain. The first one that happened, he was upset for losing a friend, but probably would’ve gotten over it. It sounds harsh, but that was the reality of the situation. 

After the second loop, Ace started noticing you more. Things he missed out on the first time. The way you smiled, the way you walked, the way you tugged on your shirt when you were nervous. It was cute. 

It was his third loop that he started noticing little things. How you liked to grab on to his arm when it got too crowded. How you always made an effort to help him in class, despite having to catch up with nearly 2 decades of curriculum just to understand the professors. He noticed how you’d blush whenever he’d make flirty jokes. 

It was his fourth, and current, loop that he really started to view you differently. That he started to view these second, third, and fourth chances as a way to keep you safe. To not lose you again. 

You were always helping him, despite the stress he caused you. Every time you’d let him crash in your dorm, eventually convincing you to let him share at least your room. He’d be up, tossing and turning as he watched your sleep. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, but seeing you take your whole situation in stride, every overblot, every condescending comment, every shenanigan Grim, Deuce, and him really made Ace think about why he was doing this. 

Was it because he felt bad? No, it certainly wasn’t the first time, anyway. Was it because he liked having you around? Kinda, maybe a little. Was it because every time he’d ask you why you got involved with all the drama at school, you’d answer with a shrug, a smile, and simply answer “I gotta protect my friends, as best I can anyway.” That was probably partially the reason.

He thinks the reason he’s so desperate to make sure you stay around is because of the promise you made with him the first loop around: “If I can’t go home, let’s always stick together! I like you, and you like me, so we can support each other every way we can.”

You’d made this promise, in one form or another, every loop.

“Promise we’ll stay friends, even after graduation! I wanna stick by my first friend’s side!”

“Ace? Do you actually promise to take care of me? I know I’m a pain, no magic and all, but I’ve taken care of you in my own way, do you really promise to do the same?”

It was his fourth time watching you live your year in Twisted Wonderland. And it’s then that it clicked for him: he was falling deep into love with the magicless Prefect that cared way too much for others, and much too little for themselves. 

“Ace…” you gasped, a bloodied hand reaching out for him as an overblotted Grim made a rampage throughout the Mirror Chamber. He could hear the others screaming, magic being cast, and a distinct yowl from Grim as Riddle launched another fire spell at him. 

Ace cringed as the giant direbeast that was once his little fiery friend screamed in pain, running around until he tripped and fell through where there was once a wall. Grim let out an eerie, inhuman scream as he fell, a sickening crunch echoing as he landed on the stone ground. For the fourth time, Grim was gone. But that didn’t matter, not when he was watching you die for the fourth time. 

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey I’m here.” Ace had managed to crawl over to you, clasping your hand with his own. He rested your head on his lap as you coughed, red liquid leaving your mouth as you did. 

“No, nononononono—you’re fine!” Ace hyperventilated as he looked over your battered body. He was sure that he had prevented Grim from eating Vil’s blot stone. Was that not the reason he turned into this? Did he only need to eat a few before turning into a monster? He was so confident that he’d managed to keep you safe. So why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy—

“Ace.” He froze as you murmured his name, your other hand reaching for his cheek, wiping away the tears he didn’t realize he was leaving. 

“Ace, promise me you’ll stay with me? I don’t want to be alone right now…” you hiccuped as you started crying, curling into his chest as Ace cradled you. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t help! I was so useless, so useless to let Grim get to this point. So useless as a friend, I’m so sorry!”

Ace curled into you, ignoring the voices from behind you two, no doubt the other students coming to the realization that you’d be grievously harmed. 

“I’ll stay with you, I’m always with you.” Ace shuddered. He felt like throwing up. “I’m going to try again, I won’t be too late this time. I’ll make sure to keep you safe this time. I won't lose you again.”

Ace ignored the person shaking his shoulder as he watched you hyperventilate, before your breathing slowed and eventually stopped. He ignored the surprised cries as magic swirled around him, as he activated his signature spell for the fifth, and hopefully final time:

With a flick of the wand, a rhythm sublime,

Reverse The Clock, turn back the chime,

No time to say 'Hello', goodbye!

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

It’s all dark. It’s always dark until the moment Ace opens his eyes and the coffin opens for the fifth time.

comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷

#mochi asks #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #trey clover x reader #ace trapolla x reader #jade leech #trey clover #ace trappola #francesca (1k event) #mochi fic

[starstruckmoony]

style.

masterlist

pairing - sirius black x fem!reader

summary - you and sirius start dating after accidentally running into each other at a concert but confirm nothing, just to watch everyone lose their shit online.

trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour

word count - 1k

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 804,337 others

yourusername mirror's dirty but i felt pretty

7,164 comments

starmanblack damn smash

yourusername thirsty mf

starmanblack you're not wrong

cissy_blck i promise i'm cooler than your boyfriend

luciusssy i love you too bae

cissy_blck 🥰

bartyyy can you sign my house?

yourusername i'll see what i can do

lily_evans UMMMMMM MOTHER?

mmmckinnon mommy.

prongsyboy mama?

starmanblack PRONGS

user128836 i don't know the colour of anything

user702655 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND????

user358991 sirius said smash and i agree

user073823 the only man we trust

user662627 i'm gonna clown so hard but why did half of sirius family like this post?

user491175 i almost sent a thirst tweet

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 799,853 others

starmanblack boyfriend vibes 😩

6,897 comments

yourusername very real

starmanblack i'm flattered

yourusername you better be

yourusername you still smell like horse tho

starmanblack go away

prongsyboy did you tell him i said hi?

starmanblack i got you his autograph

mmmckinnon you didn't even tag the photographer smh

starmanblack why are you offended in the name of the photographer?

mmmckinnon i'm just defending my wifey

casmeadowes i wasn't there???

user075764 DATE ME

user246766 you single?

user113388 he's dating y/n l/n

user300722 i volunteer to take your bf photos 🤚

user943534 CONFIRM THE RUMOURS I'M BEGGING

user855465 y/n has a boyfriend and you just put boyfriend in the caption so i'll live in delusion from now on

user464646 i wanna be a horse

prongsyboy added to their story

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, pandorasbox, rjlupin and 844,008 others

yourusername london, i'm speechless. i had the most amazing time with all of you last night and i can't wait to perform for you again 💞 hearing you guys sing your hearts out with me was truly magical, thank you sooo much and i love love love every single one of you 💕 also! a special thanks that friend group from the first row who gave me a bunch of plushies, my heart is extra happy 😚

tagged ev.rosier

8,677 comments

starmanblack i was there, i can confirm

yourusername I COULDN'T SEE YOU IN THE CROWD AT FIRST AND I GOT SO SAD

starmanblack lol i love you sm

starmanblack my guitar fits your aesthetic nicely

yourusername i know right?!? me and her were meant to be

marymacdonald when i say best concert of my life i mean it

yourusername i don't deserve you

bartyyy first row seats hmghnhm 😩

yourusername perks of dating the photographer

ev.rosier you're welcome bartemius

user201010 i cried ugly tears

user927161 i formally apologise to the people who were near me 💀

user472738 ARE Y'ALL SEEING THIS??? THEY'RE DEFO DATING

user928312 YOU PLAYED MY FAVOURITE SONG AND I WASN'T THERE 😭😭😭

user446286 one of those plushies was from meeeee

user018381 lost my voice but it feels so right

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, marymacdonald, lily_evans and 810,777 others

starmanblack ok.

7,995 comments

yourusername he loves you

starmanblack he bit my converse

yourusername it was an act of love

starmanblack AND HE STOLE ONE OF MY DOCS

yourusername IT. WAS. AN. ACT. OF. LOVE.

yourusername bet you deserved that

starmanblack you were just saying he loves me?

yourusername was i though?

vance_emm what in the gaslighting hell is going on above me?

r.a.black wdym? i'm loving it

user242539 i've yet to see a normal picture of this little guy

user301453 THE BICKERING LMAOOO

user463646 HELP HE'S VIOLATING YOU

user857433 he's in his reputation era

user302770 THIS DOG PLS

yourusername added to their story

celeb_gossip

♡ 37,022 likes

celeb_gossip a scandal is on its way! 👀 there's been word on the street that sirius black and y/n l/n have had a little something going on since the beginning of the year, and we are almost certain that this isn't just another case of senseless rumours. 🙈 other than constantly interacting with one another on social media, the two have been pictured entering l/n's apartment after what seemed like a romantic night out. 😌 several sources can prove that the couple has been caught in ways that scream everything BUT platonic, and we deem them quite credible. 😉 but in the light of all of this, the two singers haven't said anything. what do you think? 🤔 are they secretly together? 🤭 or are they secretly laughing at all of us? 😶 leave your opinion in the comments! 😘

12,558 comments

user438185 oH

user019570 EVERYBODY STAY CALM

user837999 i hope they sue you lol

user262626 they're defo laughing at us

user823715 THE POWER THESE TWO WOULD HOLD AS A COUPLE

user192072 LMAO THEY'D BREAK THE INTERNET IF THEY CONFIRMED IT

user137753 get a life wtf

user020191 pretty sure they're together

user647275 this is out of line

user244411 nah cause paps should be illegal

user302906 I NEED THEM TO SAY SOMETHING I'M LITERALLY FREAKING OUT

user522727 dunno but i want whatever they have going on

yourusername

❤ liked by bellatrixieb, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 855,006 others

yourusername tea pages are saying that i'm dating this weirdo 🤪

tagged starmanblack

10,675 comments

starmanblack people just love being funny

yourusername making me shed tears

starmanblack you could have found a better picture at least 🙄

yourusername fym? this is top tier stuff

starmanblack you're not getting your shades back

yourusername funny 🤣 i'll steal them back today 😐

vance_emm yeah and i'm a hamster

marymacdonald you kind of look like one though 🥺

mmmckinnon LMAOOOOO

starmanblack not you talking

mmmckinnon lmaoing ≠ talking

user283800 guess this confirms it ☹

user916373 WHY DO REG AND SIRIUS' COUSINS KEEP LIKING ALL YOUR POSTS THIS MAKES ME CONFUSEDDDD

user758234 does this mean you're free to date me?

user424116 YOU'RE TROLLING US

user021725 double meaning? (pls say sike i'm desperate)

user024477 calling sirius up rn

user555641 GUYS THERE'S STILL HOPE MAYBE THEY'RE JOKING AROUND

user828295 okay but does it actually matter 💀

starmanblack

❤ liked by lily_evans, pandorasbox, casmeadowes and 873,253 others

starmanblack feeding the paps

11,994 comments

yourusername bet they're still starving

starmanblack we should make out and post it

yourusername twitter will go CRAZYYY

yourusername we look dead tho

starmanblack i reckon it's the cheap wine

yourusername you calling me poor?

starmanblack 😇

prongsyboy i still don't get how or why you had my glasses

starmanblack aesthetic purposes

xeno_lovegood that's cute 🤩

starmanblack facts ong fr fr

cissy_blck reggie's sil

bellatrixieb i'm so jealous

user472721 I WANT

user882923 I CAN'T DECIDE WHO THE LUCKY ONE IS

user382541 NAUR STOP MESSING WITH US

user773724 WHATTGEDHQUXJQDJJQSJJW

user482972 OH MY GOD?????????

user362613 narcissa's comments making me all hopeful

user924474 I'M SO STRESSED

starmanblack added to their story

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #sirius black drabble #sirius black blurb #sirius black one shot #sirius black headcanon #sirius black fanfiction #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #mary macdonald #pandora lovegood #dorcas meadowes #xenophilius lovegood #narcissa malfoy #lucius malfoy #bellatrix lestrange #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #regulus black #emmeline vance #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #marauders era #the marauders

[xjulixred45x]

Satoru Gojo/Suguru Geto x Idol! Reader

Gojo/Geto x S/o who is a Japanese idol/Singer.

Reader: female/male

Genre: Headcanons

Warnings: Gojo xd, some Canon divergent with Geto, mainly set in Star Plasma Vessel Arc, S/o has a ritual technique related to singing, the Idol industry is toxic ASF, fluff.

Main idea i have: You are a student at Jujutsu High, but you work part-time as an Idol (and you take advantage of the bad work environment to exorcise curses)

Satoru Gojo

Of the two, he is the most likely to know about your career as an idol.

When he sees you for the first time at Jujustu High, he looks at you strangely for a long time to try to remember where he knows you from (you look something different without all the production).

but when he finally realizes it, like the FREAK he is, he points it out shouting at Geto, killing him with shame, and you end up meeting your future significant other.

As you may have noticed, he is quite open about your career, probably using the excuse that it is because it is related to your cursed ritual, but the truth is he just wants to show you off xd.

Although of course, if you ask him to stop, he will. But when you see how tiring it can be to have to juggle two jobs at the same time, being a Sorcerer and an Idol nothing more.

If we talk about more advanced terms of relationship, Gojo probably has AT LEAST a small set of your merchandise, AND HE'S GOING TO SHOW IT OFF TO YOU, he just really likes to embarrass you (in an affectionate way).

I have the idea that Gojo couldn't sing even if his life depended on it, so it would be funny if you tried to teach him your technique (which requires SINGING the high notes) and he, wanting to imitate, only comes out with a sound similar to a drowned duck(?)

If you borrow his phone to search for something and look at the playlist, chances are you will find several of your own songs,even the Acapella versions (no instruments, just the voice), in a way it helps him relax a lot, especially when you go on different missions.

I can see him going to see you at one of your concerts, just to embarrass you a little, screaming and making a mess, at first glance he seems like an average Famboy, but he's YOUR average famboy 😅

If he doesn't go to your shows, at least try to cheer you up, either by going directly to your dressing room to lighten things up a bit, even though it ends up being the opposite.

Gojo: YOURE A BAD BITCH!

You:IM A BAD BITCH!

or leaving a voice message so you know you have his support :3 (although the first is more likely)

Moving on to more serious things, Gojo really worries that working in two stressful environments (one much more lethal than the other) will end up screwing up your mental health in the long term.

Even more so when he finds out how toxic the Idols' work environment is.

leaving aside the "debt" with your company (which is covered by those of the institution), the competitive environment, the haters who constantly harass you online (and in real life), the "fans" who rather are sick people who follow you everywhere--

He can't even be publicly physical with you or any kind of PDA! or say that you have a partner, because oh God knows how people would react to that.

It honestly makes him a little sad to see how you break your back to keep both jobs relatively stable, only to have your effort swept under the rug. it frustrates him.

Gojo isn't that worried about your physical appearance (although the outfits you wear to shows are very cute), but he won't let you starve yourself>:( If he eats something, get assured he'll make you eat too.

When he sees that you are having a particularly bad day, first of all he will try to make you feel better by making you laugh, if you refuse, then he will tickle you! or if you want to vent and let out work frustrations, go ahead.

lots 👏of 👏cuddling👏and👏hugs👏

He's just very clingy, and since he can't show much affection outside on the street and has to limit it to home and school, he makes the most of it.

He may or may not offer you some kind of more domestic date, like playing video games and intentionally letting you win, making comments that he knows will lift your spirits.

If we talk about the most current Gojo, it is most likely that you have already retired from the world of Idols, but you are still part of the training industry part-time (actress/actor or something similar).

and also by that time your relationship with Gojo would be more public (to his delight), of course, there was some commotion, but it is the least important when you live in a world with Curses.

aside, honestly, any Stalker/paparazzi you might have had before, he got screwed as soon as he was even on the same block as the two of you, Gojo is just intimidating when he wants to be, and he appreciates his time with you TOO much for someone to come and try to ruin it. (keyword, Try).

Get ready, now that Idol's job is not a problem (something like that), he's going to take the opportunity to have the most ABSURD amount of PDA you can imagine.

hugs, holding hands, you hang on to his arm, his arm around you, kisses, pet names, he has a whole arsenal.

He still really likes listening to you sing, but I especially imagine that he likes you singing to him to sleep, canonically this man doesn't sleep much, so having you sing to him would probably help him sleep much easier.

It's a good way to relax when he's had to deal with the big boys, just laying on your lap, eating something sweet while you sing him one of your songs. a strangely domestic moment.

He even takes off his blindfold to see you when you sing, it's kind of cute.

If you stroke his hair in the process, it's an absolute BONUS.

Even if you end up leaving the singing career completely, Gojo will always, ALWAYS find a way to show it off to his peers (everyone finds him EVEN more annoying than before thanks to this, Even his students, well, minus Itadori maybe).

Overall, find your Idol career endearing.

Suguru Geto

He's less likely to know about you as Idol than Gojo, but you seem familiar to him in a way.

It's not until 1- either Gojo tells him directly that you're an idol or 2- you go on television and he just sees you. both are equally likely (Gojo wouldn't say it right away just to annoy him for a change).

Be that as it may, at first he is much more interested in your Cursed technique related to singing than to your secondary career.

(note: this occurred to me because the musical note "Si" would literally translate into Japanese as "Shi" meaning "death", you could say that this may or may not be part of your cursed ritual, it's interesting).

It's similar to cursed speech, after all. So initially your friendship with him begins out of pure fascination and curiosity about your abilities.

Although of course, your other work does not go unnoticed, Geto honestly believes that it is something ingenious, because initially you would never think to find so much negative energy in a place like the Idol world(people seen as "pure and angelic"), and it turns out to be quite the opposite.

He found you fascinating in many ways, which only piqued his interest more.

Unlike Gojo, Geto is much more focused on your work as a Sorcerer than as an Idol, which doesn't mean he sees it as a bad thing! Not at all, it's just that it can connect with you better with the first more than the second.

Although yes, he also really likes to listen to you sing (without a cursed ritual or not, it doesn't matter, he thinks you sound very good either way). He feels especially proud when you sing him a future song alone.

He just stands there watching you sing and smiles like a fool. It's therapeutic.

Even if he's not as hyped about your work as Gojo, I can definitely see him giving you a lot of compliments when you wear the outfits they give you for the shows, they're so CUTE! And they make you look even more adorable!

He also cares a lot about your health! He always makes sure to have throat medicine nearby (whether outside or on missions) in case of emergencies. Apart from the fact that he wants you to have a healthier weight (by the beauty standards of the Idols, it is quite difficult).

He feels worried when he sees you worried about losing your supposed "extra weight" when the only thing he sees are your ribs☠️

Geto:"lets get you a Burger"

You:"i can't eat tha-"

Geto:"LETS GET YOU A BURGER, I CAN SEE YOUR BONES"

He can, wants and will take you to eat junk food after each mission, and when I say each one, IT'S EVERY ONE. He simply doesn't want you to end up hospitalized for anorexia or worse, faint in the middle of a mission due to lack of nutrients, the possibility scares him a lot.

Aside from the fact that he won't let you feel bad for being a healthy weight, and he won't tolerate anyone saying anything bad about it (unless they wants to see the rainbow dragon, but not in the friendly way).

He was already pretty aware that the idol environment is pretty bad, but hearing it (and in some cases, seeing the consequences) from you directly is a whole new level.

The slave-like schedules, the impossible standards, the "diets" that practically boil down to not eating, the strange people you run into on a daily basis, it honestly surprises him that you can stay like a Sorcerer with how little you eat and sleep.

At least he doesn't have to worry about money, although I still highly doubt he'll let you buy him things at first, he prefers that you give YOURSELF some self-care

Although he is calm knowing that you can handle yourself well, he definitely can't help but get a little angry when he sees your name on some gossip page or something like that.

Unlike Gojo, I think he will directly ask you to leave the Idol job, but with good arguments, and obviously understand if you don't want to leave, after all doing this kind of thing takes YEARS of preparation, it makes sense that you want to continue with the work as much as you can.

especially if you like it.

but he will definitely be more aware of your situation and in general more present in these types of things and not only those related to Jujustu.

You two become a more stable couple, so to speak.

Going forward to the present day, regardless of whether Geto remains in Jujutsu High or turns evil like in canon, the two remain close.

Mimiko and Nanako ABSOLUTELY admire your old work as an idol a lot, like, a lot, especially Nanako. which is quite cute to see, since you give them the same hairstyles that you used to wear in your youth or even singing your old lyrics to them, Geto could die of cuteness right there.

Listening to you sing when he's had a day full of dealing with "monkeys" is the perfect way to end the day sincerely, even if it's just a hum, it practically puts him in a good mood right away.

Unlike Gojo, I think he would also like you to sing as a form of entertainment (if you feel comfortable), like having background noise while he does things, according to the "work better that way." He says, but only wants You to sing SPECIALLY for him.

The family LIVES to hear you sing too, if you are with them while they wait for Geto, Mimiko will probably ask you with puppy eyes to sing them something to kill time. works 9.5/10 of the time.

Like waiting music.

If you're still in the entertainment industry, you two probably take advantage of money from whatever association hires you >:).

IMAGINE HIM COMING TO SEE YOU WITH THE FAMILY IN SOME VIP SESSION! The girls are taking a lot of photos or recording videos (I imagined them doing the Oshi no Ko dance 🤣😅) and simply admiring how the monkeys are idiots and you are unattainable to them

In this case, I don't think it's necessary to say what happens with the paparazzi or stalkers you used to have >:)

if we talk about Teacher! Geto is not very different from Gojo in several aspects, perhaps just a little more insistent on the issue of choosing only ONE job.

I think if you chose to stay as a singer and leave Jujustu's world, he would be VERY relieved in a way, at least he would never have to worry about him losing you to curses, and you know how to defend yourself very well, so the chances of you something bad happens as a singer are low to none.

In short, he will let you do what makes you happy as long as it is healthy and you are in control. He loves you too much to care about your work.

See your career more as an accessory, in a good way, you will always be more interesting ;)

Shares, reglogs, and comments are very welcome!

___________________________

Ahhhhh ONE DONE!

I have two Request in waiting, but first i Will try to Write one o two other scenerios that i want to make. Have patience with me :')

I hope You like it!

#headcanons #fem reader #male reader #jjk #idol #jjk gojo #jjk geto #jujutsu kaisen geto #jujutsu no kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x reader #getou suguru x reader #geto x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for encouraging kids to lie about their age online?

Okay, so, to make one thing clear, I know I can go a bit overboard when it comes to online safety, particularly with children's/teenagers online safety.

I grew up lying about my age, my friends lying about their age, and even though I'm now a legal adult [19F], I still lie about being older online to keep 40+ year old creeps who are into teenagers/young 20 year olds off my back.

I truly believe me lying about my age has saved me from being target by predators online growing up because in real life where I can't lie about my age, I was target by predators from when I started puberty early at six years old to even now since I do have a rather bad baby face and look about 14 according to my friends.

Why thankfully I have had just enough education and maturity to know how to advoid engaging these creeps in real life, I was also way too trusting of people who seemed my age, and if online someone lied to me about their age I would have likely feel prey to their abuse.

And so one thing I absolutely loath about this new internet culture is minors, be it actually little kids or teenagers, just being comfortable about saying their age.

Like, it puts a huge target on their back that allows any predator to go "ah, they're in my prefered age group to abuse!" and lie about their own age to seem younger and to know which kids they want to target to groom and abuse.

And so, every month or so I make a bunch safety posts. I use studies and stories shared with me to encourage kids to be safer online and to just lie about their age. People have taken to reblogging these posts, adding their own stories, making their own posts, etc.

This however has gotten me a lot of backlash recently by a lot of fellow adults who just don't want minors following them, and by adults who create more mature content so to speak.

They do make some good points about having a right to a boundary, and to not wanting minors to see their more risky content for comfort and/or legal reasons, but frankly I have always cared about minors safety more then anything.

And so I would argued back that minors already are and have been since the internet came to be lying about their ages, and that as long as their is a disclaimer that any mature content is made for adults and by proceeding to view it you are saying your adult [even if you aren't] will 99.9% of the time keep any any legal issues away, and most importantly, minor's safety comes before any adult's sense comfort.

But because of this, a lot of adult accounts be it sfw accounts that just wanted space away from minors and not so sfw accounts in my particular fandom space have been deactivating due to an increasing about of minors taking their ages out of their bios and posts and/or lying about their ages.

I feel bad because it was never my intention to drive adults out. I just wanted kids to be smarter and safer online, not for adults, the main driving force of this particular fandom to start to widdle out.

Minors have been sneakily looking at mature material since forever, and it's something a lot of artists and writers use to accept that. And not only that, there was a sort of acceptance back when I was younger that it was healthy outlet for minors to sneakily cope with their hormones by quietly looking at it since they were fully in control of that experience.

I figured it would just go back to that, to adults learning how to cope with their own discomfort for the sake of minors being safe, but instead they're raging about minors breaking boundaries, getting porn addictions, etc, and leaving to other social medias.

I feel horrible for making so many adults uncomfortable to the point of leaving, and now I can't help but wonder if I should have tried a different approach to helping minors be safer that didn't upset the current/modern[?] adult artist and writers?

At the end of the day, minors being safer is more important, but surely that must have been a different way that I'm just not able to see right now that I could have taken?

So really, AITA for not being more tactful in handling this issue of minors being to open online and causing a lot of unnecessary discomfort?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[princescribbler]

A Few Gentle Reminders to Fellow ABDLs Online

You don't have to go crazy to be kinky! Seriously, it can seem like every blog is 24/7 dynamics in full time power exchange, but the reality is... you're seeing their public and often humiliating public image! Your own kinks can be quiet, private, occasional, and that's ok. Or They might not be sexual, might involve other kinks... give yourself permission to be you, and not follow the online trends.

Scammers are constant in any community... and they're pervasive in this one. Be careful with personal details, pictures, videos, and anything you send online. A bit of caution goes a long way! But that doesn't mean EVERYONE is a fake and a scammer, either! Be careful, and use your best judgment.

Learning about BDSM and power exchange relationship dynamics is a good idea even if you never want to incorporate it into your relationship. Go learn, expand your knowledge, and try to educate yourself about kink and this stuff: you deserve to be well informed about your own desires and needs!

Most ABDLs aren't public and shouldn't be! It's OK to be private, not post pics, not go to events that risk exposing your kinks publicly, etc. Some people do better being a bit more public but you're not at fault if that doesn't fit for you!

Yes, most ABDLs struggle with kinky feelings and not wanting their kinks or desires. You're not alone. But the healthiest ones are the people who embrace their desires in a healthy, moderate way, and who get mental health help when needed. If you're struggling, get help: you never know who will help you embrace yourself!

Not EVERYONE is going to be shitty to talk to... but it can feel that way in this online community. That's because the most social and message- heavy folks tend to be binging and purging, going a thousand miles an hour into kink then suddenly quitting temporarily. So don't think those few chats or messages that stop are about you, and don't think that you can't meet real, fascinating, COMPLEX ADULT people here. I met my fiance through this platform: you never know!

Don't compare your kinky reality to what you see online. The online stuff doesn't show the discussions, finding the right balance, taking time off, focusing on supporting your partner in vanilla ways: that means you see a small piece of someone's reality, doctored and fixed up for social media. Don't compare yourself against the most public and extreme kinky blogs. It isn't a realistic view or comparison.

Never let your own kinks drag you down. If you like something, it's safe and nobody else is being hurt... it's OK to like it! Even if it's a bit unusual. You don't get to control your kinks, only your reaction to those kinks. Be self compassionate.

Ageplay, regression, enjoying things for little kids or babies, well... it can feel weird. But an adult watching blues, or Disney, or playing with stuffies isn't a BAD thing! So stop judging yourself by using the false, misinformed external judgments of other ignorant idiots to inform your true, personal, informed opinions about yourself!

Life can't be truly 24/7 kink, so take time to foster vanilla friends and relationships. It never hurts to cast a wide net and keep yourself grounded in the vanilla life!

Just a few quick reminders you might need, though I hope you don't! And as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay kinky!

- Scribbler

[nuzzle]

Hi~

I saw your post about how lolita fashion (and ads for it) have changed in the last few years, especially for Angelic Pretty, and I agree completely!

I think the lack of creative ads these days might be b/c Gothic & Lolita Bible isn't around anymore? (cries) and Kera went purely digital ages ago, I don't know if it's even still around (I should have kept my old Kera magazines). But I remember how I always used to look forward to seeing the clothes and layouts that were featured in the new issues of each magazine.

My favorite when I first got into lolita was from the Wedding issue of the English edition of GLB; a model for Baby was wearing a lovely, tulip print skirt (or was it the jsk?) in blue, holding a parasol and sitting at a cafe table. Something about her looked so sweet and simple; I wanted to be a lolita just like that!

The models in the magazines always looked like they were happy or having fun, which I think is part of what made me want certain dresses or blouses. In AP's current ads, the model just looks... kinda sad and pouty and bored. I've noticed that for a lot of their dresses, they've been skimping on the lace, frills, and ribbons, and there's no more cute hair styles either! Meanwhile, wasn't it AP that brought lolita from old school to New School / OTT sweet when they had models wearing pastel pink / blue wigs for their Mermaid Symphony (iirc) photoshoot back in 2007?

On a different, but kinda related note, I've noticed that in the past 5 years or so AP has been making a lot of dresses with ridiculously high waists.... also so many sack dresses (I know they started doing this back in like 2012 or so with that polka-dot M&M print dress)

Sorry for the long rant, I just really miss the old days of lolita fashion

hello there!

i'm always glad to have some feedback when i post rambles and thoughts on things. i never expect it, so thank you for your input! it's also comforting to know others feel the same way.

i agree that without as many publications in general (especially physical) there's less of a reason to put as much effort into details, like the magazine spreads that were commonly done for example. most people get information on releases online these days, making physical catalogs a bit obsolete.. aside from collectors. i greatly miss all of the graphics and how inspirational everything felt back then, especially the little PNG pictures of items in catalogs.

you're completely right about pictures from GLB's and other magazines looking generally "happier" and more like daily life sort of pictures, like the one in the cafe you mention. that aspect of it appealed greatly to lifestyle lolitas! seeing a dress pictured in a "real life" situation rather than just a plain white background photoshoot picture makes a huge difference. it brings it to life, and makes it a lot easier to see yourself wearing it.

i think a big change in marketing is that AP doesn't cater as much to lifestylers.. and lolitas who are very much interested in the fashion beyond a surface level and see them as more than just clothes. all of the photos now actually feel like advertisements, when they used to also be appealing from a photography perspective. like they're only trying to sell you a product and not an experience, even if only visual. for me, that takes away from it a lot.. it almost feels as though that sense of community, and the acknowledgement that lolita is a subculture, is dwindling.

plus, it's definitely more than just presentation that's changed as you said. i feel as though the designs AP offers have been super uninspired compared to old releases. not as many details, not as much custom lace, and the general silhouettes becoming a bit lazy.. tons more, but i could go on for days. even the revamp and progression of the lyrical bunny mascot has felt a bit soulless. very sad to see, because i do agree that they were the brand to introduce OTT sweet in a revolutionary way.

as much as i gripe about old vs new AP changes, the positive side is that we can still look back fondly on the old era!

and no problem at all! it was nice to hear another perspective on this. ^^

#asks

[candywife333]

Light A Candle for Me

Hey guys, here is a Diwali special fic. It is a two shot and revolves around this beautiful little holiday of lights. The first part sets up the rest of the story. Second part should be a little bit more comedic.

ugly duckling/late bloomer chubby reader x rich idol Jungkook

Triggers: non-con picture taking (Y/N is still clothed) , eventual smut (rough)

Disclaimer: The Jungkook written in this fic is not an accurate representation of the real life Jungkook's thoughts or actions. Keep in mind that this is fiction. has minimal to no proofreading.

What is she doing out of her lair? You mean, Y/N, the girl who shall never be named?

That was the manner in which everyone at HYBE perceived Y/N. She was a desolate, mousy , rather quaint girl that lived in what you could call the basement of HYBE. She was head of tech support and she lived in her little dungeon till they needed her expertise to access their security footage or if there was a glitch with any of the computers upstairs.

She rarely came upstairs to the cafeteria or upstairs in general for that matter, preferring to pack her own lunch ----a green bamboo circular bento set that nobody had ever seen the contents of. The three other people working in the IT department would come and go easily, socializing with the rest of the building, but Y/N, the big boss, or "Bowser" as she had been dubbed by Jungkook and Jimin, kept to herself.

Y/N always wore a black baggy cotton shirt with black cardigan, black framed circular glasses, and black slacks that looked freshly pressed every morning. She smelled of laundry, baked cookies, and tangerines. The only reason Jungkook knew her scent so well was because of one incident in which he had spilled coffee over his keyboard. The wireless keyboard had died on him, and so when he summoned Y/N, her majesty, from her underground dungeon, she had just slightly brushed up against him to reach the keyboard.

That was when he had come to the conclusion that she was the equivalent of a librarian, ghostly, quiet, and strict with a very convincing resting bitch face. Y/N never spoke. It's not as though she didn't communicate. But she just never spoke to fill the silence, as most people tend to do. It's as if she reveled in it. To add insult to injury, her quiet demeanour along with her resting bitch face (which Jungkook swears to the this day, was ready to kill him with a machete for the damage to his keyboard ) made people fear her.

She only every speak when it was required and when she did speak, in a resounding, firmly assertive voice, devoid of any doubt, she intimidated most of the staff and even the boys to some degree. Even Yoongi had been scared to call her for help when the computer in his genius lab was malfunctioning.

Her clothes, her attitude and her overall aura presented as a festering ground for rumors to spread. Some said that she was so ugly and drab, that she had never been approached even once on a casual date. Other absurd rumors stated that she had a string of boyfriends, who mysteriously disappeared one by one.

None of them were true. But that little tidbit was irrelevant to the gossipmongers of HYBE. Bang PD knew how much of a hard worker Y/N was. She kept all the viruses, firewalls, and glitch errors out of HYBE. Her work spoke for itself; impeccable at cybersecurity, Y/N as head of IT made sure that there was never a data breach at HYBE and she even went so far as to trouble shoot for errors before they even happened. If there were malicious online rumors about any members of any group at HYBE , she and her team members made sure to take those down, and to get rid of them without even a peep.

Y/N sighed wearily at her office desk, holding her pounding head in her hands . Tomorrow was Diwali and she really wanted to celebrate. She had been pulling late nighters for the past few days, as she had to help the PR team handle all the online press regarding Jungkook's solo album release in the US. It was so hectic, that at this point she felt as though she truly lived in her office. But, she really wanted to celebrate the festival. The holiday meant a lot to her as a kid, and even now. Her family had celebrated it growing up and she wanted to uphold the tradition annually.

Getting up from her chair, she packed her bags, ready to go home and clean up. There was a party for the Diwali at her cousin's house tomorrow evening, and she would have to wear a sari to work. Y/n usually maintained her drab and rather somber business attire without fail, but she didn't have enough time to go home and change before the party. She would have to brave it out. Being an introvert, she was sure the extra attention would freak her out. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Everyone in HYBE were functioning normally the next morning. Yet, as soon as y/N arrived, they all felt like they were either hallucinating or experiencing a collective brain aneurysm. Since when did Y/N wear color? Any color other than black that is?

Suzy, the receptionist felt like she was about to faint. She took a double look to make sure that it was truly Y/N entering the front door. Who the hell was this goddess? Y/N had on a red and gold sari in a chiffon, silky material draped over her curvy body. She had a bright red circular bindi over her forehead with gold bangles gracing her wrists and a gold chain adorning her neck. She looked like something divine, as she entered the building in her red high heels which couldn't have been more than 2 inches tall. Yet, the diminutive heels changed the way she walked, or shall we say glided. She had put in contact lenses as she had left the glasses at home.

Just as Suzy almost accepted Y/N's fabulous appearance, she saw the back of Y/N's outfit and almost had a seizure. It was backless, showing off her beautiful soft skin glinting in the morning light. The only thing keeping her blouse together was a singular golden thread that was tied up at the back. Suzy could see Y/N's spine all the way till right above her bum. Damn, Suzy needed a fan and water. If she was lesbian, she would've jumped on Y/N already by now.

Y/N decided that she would get some food at the cafe since it took her so long to get ready in the morning. She had no time to pack her usual. She sauntered over to the cafeteria in her traditional ensemble to pick up some coffee and a scone.

Mark's jaw dropped so low, it almost felt like he had dislocated it. Was this really Y/N? She looked like an otherworldly being, her expressive eyes framed with long lashes pulling him in. Her body called to him, and surely any other male in the room. The sari was draped so perfectly such that it showcased her figure. Her breasts covered by a sheer layer of chiffon, showing off her midriff , sloping down to wide hips that revealed skin as she bent down to pick up money she had accidentally dropped.

Her eyelashes fluttered on her cheek as she whispered out, "So sorry Mark, just happened to drop the money". She turned around as she took her order and just about every damn employee at the cafe decided that they needed a fan club just for her back. How had she hid her beauty for so long? She looked so perfectly feminine, that they didn't know how to process her in their brains and in.... other places.

Yoongi had come towards the cafe to grab a quick americano, and thank god he had no water in his mouth. Otherwise he would definitely have spit it out. He saw Y/N walking in his direction, and almost collapsed on the ground. His eyes couldn't believe what they were witnessing. Was this really Bowser? Their stoic tech support boss? How had she not been snatched up til this point?

As he pondered all this, he decided to do something that he wasn't exactly proud of. But, if he was going to have such a disjointed and jarring morning, he was going to make sure the rest of his members felt the same bizzare amazement and confusion as he did. He took a picture of her without her knowing, front and back, as he salivated, and put it on their group chat.

Jungkook had just arrived at HYBE, having gotten back from New York last night after his promotions in the US. He was so ridiculously tired, till he got a notification on their group chat. He never responded on it anyway. But he decided to randomly see what someone had sent.

He almost tripped on the pavement as he saw the picture that had been sent. whAT THE FREAKIN HELL?!!!! WHO WAS THIS BEAUTY AND WHEN DID SHE EXIST IN THEIR BUILDING??

The rest of the boys in the chat were just as incredulous. Jungkook saw all the interest all the boys were showing in the chat. They were literally thirsting over her. But no, he would have to have her. Her beautiful body , curving exactly where it was supposed to, with her lustrous curls tossed on her back, called to him. She was a siren, and her beauty was beseeching him. Who was this goddess?

He knew her body, but he didn't know her face or name. Yoongi hadn't posted her face. He would have to find out who she was. Not a difficult task for the golden maknae.

#chubby reader #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts x plus size reader #smut #bts #diwali #self love #eventual smut #angst #chubby reader x jungkook #plus size reader x jungkook #jungkook fanfic #bts x chubby reader

[dreamwinged]

soooo hi everyone!!! today , the 24th (nevermind im posting this like HALF A DAY LATE but life got in the way yk... just pretend ok...) marks my one year anniversary with my f/o; 🔮, The Mystery Man u all know (and possibly?) love LOL <3 so i just wanted to talk about it and him a little bit 💗

to be honest it's pretty much impossible for me to say everything i want to say and express just how deeply i feel while still maintaining the level of anonymity that i'm comfortable with on here. but i did my best! <3 this character means quite a lot 2 me and i hope i described that properly even without details dhjfnsdjfnsdf. alright disclaimer over time to yap

warning this is SO LONG ❤️

🔮 is a character that i liked from the moment i saw him which is so corny but true im afraid . a little over a year ago there was a tiktok of him on my for you page out of the blue, and i was genuinely just like 😦 ... WHO IS THIS! .. i guess it's time i get into [insert media name]😁. i instantly felt a connection to him, before i even knew his name!!! it sounds SO SILLY but when i'm feeling particularly indulgent about the whole thing i imagine it was a sign from the universe ;3

although i was attached to 🔮 pretty much immediately, i started to really feel emotionally invested when i learned more about him as a character. the way he was written was so poignant to me, and i could sympathize with a lot of aspects of his personality . . . i Mustn't Speak too much here for the most part, but he became super special to me, and i just wanted to see him happy ya know :'3

from there on out, things were super cool!! i started collecting merch, got really into 🔮's source media and its community (i have him to thank for like. at least a dozen online friends... i was always "the [charactername] mutual" LMFAOO). he became a major part of my life, and was pretty much the only thing i thought about, happy or sad. and when i was feeling down, he was hands down my biggest solace. last year was really not great for me, yet thinking about him was like a reprieve from all the Terrible Shit. i'm still in disbelief at the level of comfort he brings me, it's honestly insane /pos and i never wanna live without it now . < 3

so yk of course a lot more has happened over the course of a year, but in general, i feel like i owe a lot to 🔮!!! i learned what selfshipping was through him, and as a result, have gained so many lovely friends and great experiences in this community. <3 he gives me so many extra reasons to be happy; i cant help but smile when i see things that remind me of him out in the world and stuff like that, nd like i never wouldve had that added joy if not for him yk? and even though he's not real , 🔮's given me something to care for, an escape from everything and somewhere safe to put all the Love I Have To Give. which can be really hard to find!!! i hope in some alternate universe i make him feel even half this happy LMAO ^__^

anyway that was sooo sappy and i edited it like a thousand times to try and make it less so because i am so very very uncomfortable expressing a single Emotion but like It Just Is What It Is. bottom line isss I Love My Wife so much, i've loved him for a year and will probably love him for a lot more years idk i cant tell the future but that's what it's lookin like folks. AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU TOOOOOO/p thank u 2 all my lovely mutuals 4 being my friend and stuff <3333 hugging u heart emoji

#THIS IS SO FUCKING LATE IM GONNA CRY . AIUHLSIFDJHGASFG #. 🔮. ⋆₊˚⊹♡ #.gush #.anni #WASEHFAUSDHFASDGHH.... TEARS UP #. . . if You Know please dont look at this im so embarassed . /j #being vulnerable on the internet... scary... but my beautiful wife deserves it

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

aha,,, I had this really in-depth thing I wrote about how much I like your art,,, and the first half, maybe even first 2/3 got deleted,,, I was so excited writing it, I have no idea what it all even contained anymore,,,

So... the first paragraph after this here is rewritten from what I could remember writing the first time. I know it's not as in-depth as it originally was. Hopefully it still gets the depth of what I want to say across... The second paragraph is what DIDN'T get deleted. Aaaa

I only just recently found you and started following you, but I have to say, your art and comics and writing for the ASL brothers is just. So unbelievably good. You're up there in my favorites. Top three. Top two even. The way you write them is like watching a group of close friends interacting in real life, down to the silliness and shenanigans and inside jokes and abrupt changes in topic or mood in a conversation, including superficial changes (one that comes to mind is when Ace goes something like "I'll bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS" or some incredibly large number, really intensely suddenly, in response to Luffy's saying he'd be $20 or something, and then there's a beat, and then Luffy is like "$20 is fine :)" and Ace is just like "Alright :)". That kind of thing is something Ive had happen, something I've seen happen to others... but I've never seen it written/drawn so well.) Everything about their interactions is so incredibly natural, so full of life. Every time I read one of your comics I'm in constantly in awe and taking mental notes. Well. Okay, no, that's a lie. I WISH I were taking mental notes, but I get so caught up reading because it flows SO smoothly that I forget to.

And that's another thing!! How the way you do paneling and story beats in your comics makes reading while also visualizing movement and transitions so seamless. It's like, the visual-narrative equivalent of a hot knife through butter. I've read plenty of comics-- from novice to professional-- that have really clunky paneling and/or pacing. And similarly, I've read as many that let you read everything easily, but it's like, TOO easy, and there's no weight drawing your eyes to the actual art or keeping them there. And I've seen comics that are somewhere between these two, but still don't feel like they have a good flow. (All this as passive observation, I'm not one to actively look to critique something.) Anyway, what I'm saying is, the way you set up your comics-- the art, the paneling, the pacing, the speech bubbles, the shots, EVERYTHING-- makes them just. MM!! An absolute frickin delight to read. And it's combined with some of the best, most natural-feeling writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. You balance everything so well. In this age of being desensitized to humor online, I must say, the silliness in parts of the Water Is Thicker Than Blood comic make me genuinely grin and even laugh to myself alone in my room. It feels so real, so genuine, so... I'm running out of words. I'm sorry. I just... REALLY love how you make stuff. I want you to know that I'm a big fan, and, even though I'm older than you I'm learning a lot, and your stuff is so well-done. I hope this isn't too strange, aha... if it is, I apologize. I got a little intense

Oh woweewowee!!!!!!

Thank you for enjoying how i depict them! I really enjoy drawing them as realistic as i can. I really want people to understand them how i do in my head, and im glad it comes off perfectly because i love these little gremlins! And it really is surprisingly easy to think up situations of them being little dumbasses together :) just put them in situations, think about the ways any normal person could possibly react to the information thats given, scrap all that, use the outlier, and bam! That’s a bonafide ASL dynamic right there!

Thats really nice of you to say how you like how i panel my comics because thats one of the things im a bit self conscious of, truthfully. My formatting isnt as neat or polished as other comics are, and i really dont care to change that, but its nice to know that there is still charm and interest in my style of comics.

I get what you mean with the being desensitized to humor online nowadays. Idk what about it but its kinda hard to get me to full on laugh at memes like i used to. But i really enjoy putting in gags that i think and I chuckle to myself about for a while after i thought of it. The “that doesnt taste anything like ass” gag got me chuckling for so long to myself while i was at work. Just like,,, the shock and awe that Sabo is in from having witnessed that is so funny to me, i dont think that gag will ever get old in my head.

That’s really cool that me just goofing around can be a learning opportunity to people :0 ive never even considered that could be the case

Not at all! Thanks so much for your thoughts and opinions! This is very heartwarming and im very happy i could produce something thats so meaningful to others :)

Thanks for the ask, too :D

#ask reply #@findmeabowloftrash-blog #long post

[genderkoolaid]

That's the problem though, nonbinary identities are always seen as "academic" and not casual. Cis people love to say that we're too complicated and only academics understand us, trying to turn nonbinary identity into a classist thing, when nonbinary people need to be included in casual things too. Saying "nonbinary inclusion is only important in academics and not casual stuff" is the real classism here because it keeps people from understanding us. And you do that too, by saying "transfems don't experience higher rates of violence" but only bringing up transmasc as a counterpoint, ignoring all other trans and nonbinary people. We exist outside of adademics, and to say that non-binary inclusion doesn't really matter outside of that is exorsexist and actively plays into the narrative that nonbinary inclusion is hard or impossible. like other queer people get to exist and be recognised in casual too but non binaries are confined to university

Waist why are nonBinary less casual than transmasc or transfem? Exist as casual and lower class as trans mascs and femmes. Are you really saying nonbinary inclusion is more important in colleges than in casual social media like... you don't need a degree to not be exorsexist. sincerely an agender who never seen a college from the inside. Sad seeing you get more more exorsexist.

These asks were all sent very close to one another, so I'm responding to them all as if they were one ask.

I never said that nonbinary identities are "academic" or "less casual." Also, I rarely ever see anyone use "academic" to describe nonbinary people- maybe in relation to queer theory, but honestly? It feels like you are stretching here to try and conflate me saying "I don't feel like its worth getting angry about binary language in people's casual Tumblr posts that aren't meant to be in-depth analyses of gender" with "nonbinary people are too complicated" by acting like I was talking about nonbinary people in academia?

When did I say nonbinary inclusion is more important in colleges than social media? Where did I say that sentence?

If you are referencing that recent reblog of the baeddel-txt post, that was specifically in reference to anti-transmasc violence, which is why I only brought up anti-transmasc violence. But additionally, It is frankly quite hard to find good studies focusing on abinary experiences transphobia. Very often, nonbinary people are just grouped into "transmasc" and "transfem," and other times nonbinary people are separated in data by AGAB. I have never seen a study or paper focused exclusively on exorsexism. This sucks! I know it sucks, because a lot of my life has been negatively affected by exorsexism and its very frustrating how little in-depth discussion there is of exorsexism. But honestly when it comes to data around the violence experienced by trans people, the conversation is binary because so much of the data is binary. And, to a certain extent, a lot of nonbinary people's experiences are colored by the binary; exorsexist violence is very real, but a lot of nonbinary people's experiences are anti-transfemininity or anti-transmasculinity or both, even if their experiences can also be different than binary people's generally are with those forms of violence. It is important to be inclusive of nonbinary identities in the discussion of transphobias but frankly there's a lot more nuance when it comes to nonbinary people and transphobic violence, not to mention how a lot of exorsexism (like attacking a person for not being obviously male or female) is seen as synonymous with "general" transphobia, so it gets discussed without being named as exorsexism or misandrogyny.

Anyways. Idk. I think maybe you are reaching a bit with your interpretations of what I'm saying. I said it in that other ask but online communities are pure communication, so language-as-activism is the most obvious and easiest thing to focus on. But I am in fact a nonbinary person who Does Things In Real Life that you do not see. If you are really getting this hanged up on me not caring that much about the language people use in Tumblr posts maybe like. get some perspective?

#m. #ask box

[valorkook]

Milestones | j.jk

pairings: jeon jungkook x genderneutral!reader

type/warning: hospital!AU, doctor!jungkook, nurse!reader, romance, some fluff and angst on the side, tsundere!jungkook (cold, temperamental character), enemies-to-lovers trope, inaccurate depiction of hospital work environment, kind of inspired from Koi wa Tsuzuku yo Dokomademo and from my dreams lmao

word count: 6.5 k

summary:  After you were transferred into a different hospital department, you’re still getting used to the two things that bothered you in the first place upon arrival; the scream and the cries the children would make when a nurse, like you, is approaching them every time. . . as well as the annoying yet handsome doctor who never fails to test your limits since day one, but you are not the kind of person that easily backs down from these new challenges. You convinced yourself that you’re headstrong, but does your heart lie on the same page as your mind?

prologue | part one | part 2 

The jitters you began to develop while on your way to work today haven’t cease despite the amounts of deep breaths you took so early in the morning. The sun was only beginning to come up by the time you picked up your first cup of coffee in the nearby café, located less than a block away from the main building of the Severance Hospital, and yet it did nothing but increase the nervousness within you tenfold. The last time you remember feeling like this was when you were starting your first rotation as a licensed nurse, fresh from nursing school and was yet to hone the skills necessary in real-life work.

What one of your professors had told you was the truth; you ought to throw the things you learned in textbooks out of the window by the start of practicing your profession within the hospital setting.

And you were throwing every bit of studying you did last weekend, gone was your ability to recall the videos online that were supposedly helpful to refresh your memory regarding pediatric nursing as you embark on the same stairs you climb every morning. Except you’re about to take 30 steps more than usual, and you only got a second glimpse of the grand doors of the maternity unit then taking a turn left to do 15 steps more before landing on the third floor of the hospital. The whole floor housing the pediatric unit.

Gone are the usual beige walls that covered the majority of the hospital’s interior when you stepped into the main hallway of the your new ward. Instead of the aforementioned color, the walls on both of your sides were now covered with more than just one pigment. Animated fishes of different varieties were painted atop the waves that went on and on until the end of the corridor. It’s like visiting a marine park in Seoul where aquarium windows reach from floor to ceiling, though the fishes are unmoving.

You took a sip from your cup hastily when you arrived in the nurses’ locker room, where you’re about to change into scrubs but you left your tongue burning in the process. The usual pink and white patterned uniform was not present in your designated locker and was replaced with a colorful, confetti-like patterned top and plain navy pants to match the background of your scrub shirt.

It was awful, you internally groaned as you grabbed it out from its hanger.

The time was 6:20 AM when you stepped out of the changing room, and most of the crowd that filled the quarters reduced to merely two people which made you panic a little. Compared to the former ward you worked from, it wasn’t until quarter to seven that you’re about to start knowing the patients you will have for the day based on the hand-off report from the previous nurse in shift. But now, not only you were lost in place, but also lost in time and orientation.

This was not what you discussed yesterday over the phone with Ms. Jung, the head nurse of this pediatric unit.  In reality, the conversation you had with her did not even reach this topic; the unspoken rules that only exist exclusively in this ward.

You brushed off any stray hairs that lingered in front of your sight before you gulped down the rest of your coffee—which is still quite hot, by the way—and zoomed out of the room and towards the back doors of the nurses’ station.

“Oh, here’s our new addition to this ward!” a person who wears the same scrubs as yours, presumably a nurse like you, called the attention of those who are within the spacious station. The walls were painted a light blue tone, with no patterns that matched the design of the walls of the corridor. The main oval table in the middle of the station was filled with amounts of files and papers stacked and clipped into binders for each patient that is currently confined in the ward. Little to no pens did not litter the surface at all, as those can be found in the clutch of other healthcare staff or safe within the deep pockets stitched into their uniforms.

After scanning briefly the area for no more than seven seconds, you turned your body towards where the sound of the voice came from. At one of the corners of the station, where the computers are located at the table below the receiving counters, stood a man in front of it. No doubt another nurse as he adorns the same uniform, but your eyes were mesmerized at how he fits the scrubs.

Like he was built to become a pediatric nurse in the first place.

“Ms. Jung is currently busy at the back room.” he pointed behind him, not far off was a room separated by a blue curtain beside another entrance into the station. You noticed from his statement that he is not from the night shift but rather someone who will be joining you today. Hopefully, because you still feel like a lost kid at a grocery store.

He smiled, the whites of his eyes are nearly unrecognizable with the way it mimicked the curve of his lips, “I’m given the opportunity to guide you shortly before we start our rounds. Hello, I am Jimin, and welcome to the Pediatric ward!”

Jimin’s smile was infectious as your lips curved into a small smile, “Thank you for the greetings, I am _____.”

Your interaction with him somewhat gained a few audiences in the station, most of them started to assess your presence as the new nurse in the unit. Out of all the schedules of shifts you were allowed to choose, you rather chose the morning shift as your body clock was accustomed to waking up early.

But you don’t know that deep within the thoughts of others, especially those who are about to start the hand-off report to the next nurses in shift that will accompany you today, that you were brave to choose the hectic mornings that you will have from here on end.

Not far from the station, some footsteps began to trudge their way through the still empty hallways of the pediatric ward. While you were oriented by nurse Jimin with the location of different instruments used and restocked in the medical carts, the other nurses were starting to exchange information before the shift officially starts, before the doctors officially made their presence known in the station, waiting for nurses to instantly report the progress of each of their patient’s health and well-being.

The increased number of pediatric patients since last year was done with the strict routine that a doctor has applied on his team of healthcare professionals. With the emphasis on the word professionals, he meant that those who have gained their license to practice healthcare and can easily understand the instructions he would dictate without another repetition. He’s the kind of doctor who is passionate about treating each of his patients but refuses to show even a drop of empathy towards his team.

That is admirable, so to say. To see a doctor who’s not slacking off and is concerned with the individual needs of his patients, especially since his clients are children spanning from days old to weeks, up until to those teenagers who are a day away from turning 18. Yes, they’re still placed within the pediatric ward if they are even hours away from their 18th birthday. It’s hospital policy.

“Over there are computer carts, though there’s only four as we’re still in the phase of turning from paper documents to electronic medical records.” Jimin explained the situation on the large table in the center,

“Though there is one doctor who prefers the use of those computer carts, so you have to learn it within this day. I’ll—” he stopped to duck under the built-in table, beneath the computers installed on the station desks where you peek down to find pocketbooks lined up, “Here are the manuals, and I’d really love to show you how they work but I’ll have to receive my shift hand-offs right now before they come.” The orientation for you came to a halt when he mouthed you an apology, pointing at Ms. Jung who seemed to be unoccupied with any work at the moment.

The curtains have been drawn open by the time you meet head nurse Jung, who greeted you with a warm smile, “My apologies, I have been busy filing necessary papers but now I can continue where we—or you and Jimin left off.”

“Oh, he was about to show me how the computer attached to those carts works.” you keened, showing a manual on your grip as you begin to flip the pages.

“They nearly have the same user interface as what we use within the ward, but it gets kind of tricky to link the data input into the devices in this station. Come with me and I’ll show you how it works.” Ms. Jung was quick to approach the carts while you made a segue to throw your empty cup into the appropriate trash bin.

Though while booting up the computer, instead of focusing your mind towards the instructions shown on the pocketbook, you were rather distracted by the footsteps that approached you. Or the station, for that matter.

“Good morning Dr. Jeon!” Ms. Jung called for the tall man wearing a doctor’s typical white coat, his side profile was what attracted your sight to him instead of the bright light emitting from the screen of the computer beside you and your head nurse. Finally, he turned his head towards yours when you saw him completely.

God, he looks too young to be a doctor expert in his chosen specialty. There were nearly no blemishes that covered his face, no evidence of what struggles and stress he had faced during his internship. In fact, his youthful face, accentuated by the shape, seems like those who are about to start their residency. Fresh from med school, all-knowing kind of doctor.

Ms. Jung sensed that you two were focused on each other when she continues to speak, “This is our n--”

With one glance at your ID pinned at the side of your scrubs, he finally talked in a monotonous tone, “You, nurse _____. Let’s start the rounds.”

Both you and Ms. Jung were dumbfounded from his statement, though it didn’t last a minute and she started to convince him to give you time to adjust into this new atmosphere, “But doctor, I was about to orient them with how things run in the morning. Catered to what every other nurse this shift is accustomed to,” somehow, her words were lacking information. What routine do nurses have in this unit? Does it differ from what you’re used to?

He only cleared his throat, “I presumed they came from another unit, yes?” the head nurse confirmed immediately, “then they knew what they’re doing in this hospital. Choose a cart and let’s go.”

You stammered, “I-I, uh…” you hesitantly grabbed onto the bar of the cart, keeping the pocketbook inside one of its free compartments before catching up to the hasty doctor who’s leading the way down the corridor.

Back in the station, another nurse named Seulgi caught the sudden interaction between you and him near the entrance of the station, a wave of goosebumps appeared on her body as she gathering her mint green clipboard filled with the hand-off reports she was supposed to relay to you before Doctor Jeon arrived. She didn’t expect that he would be strutting earlier than his expected time.

She ran off of her seat in front of the computer, hoping to catch you and him still in the corridors before you enter a patient’s room.

 If you were to describe Dr. Jeon in one word, it would be cold. . . or cold-looking, if that’s even a word that any online dictionaries would confirm. One look at his face would tell you that he’s serious, like he hasn't had a cup of coffee nor a bun of bread to eat this morning. He doesn’t participate in any chit-chat much like the other doctors in this hospital. Most of the doctors you interact with are pleasant to participate in little talks, whether it concerns the patient’s health or simply about your personal life. Though with him, it was hard to initiate conversation at first glance.

You can see from the stitch embroidered above the chest pocket of his white coat, displaying his full name as Jeon Jungkook, MD. Weirdly for you, it sounds familiar.

Is he the most known doctor in this hospital? Is he the one responsible for the influx of--

“I suggest you stop daydreaming and start assessing the vitals of patient 325.” Jungkook, or Dr. Jeon rebuked. His left arm was still holding the door wide open for you and your cart to go inside. He’s only demanding for vitals yet he made you push the trolley from the station.

Thankfully, your routine of putting your handheld equipment in the pockets of your scrub and hanging the stethoscope over your neck made it easier for you this moment from embarrassing yourself. Placing the cart onto the side of the room, you approached the patient who seemed to be coiling himself in the arms of his mother. Seemingly scared to see a new face.

The tone of your voice shifts to a gentle one as you show the kid what you have in your pockets. Regretful to only pack 3 mint candies for you to consume later on, instead of buying any lollipops to give. While you were busy tending to the child, Dr. Jeon was already conversing with what you assumed to be the father of the child at the couch next to the bed. The mother joins soon after.

“Schedule another blood count for the patient later, I want the results by tomorrow so the family can prepare themselves for discharge. And--” he paused, seeing you only using a tickler and a pen, “why are you not inputting my orders into the computer?”

“I’ll attempt to encode it soon,” you tried to reason

“Don’t you know how computers work?” he disputed, right in front of the family of the patient. You feel embarrassed, like someone poured a bucket full of cold water over your body yet all you could feel was tears threatening to spill from your eyes at that moment.

It was an unnecessary outburst that he exhibited, much less in front of his patient as you blinked once, twice before you bowed yourself in front of the patient before leaving the room, dragging the cart from behind as you pulled the door open. A flustered Seulgi was waiting just outside the door when you stepped out.

“I should’ve approached you since you entered the station earlier, I didn’t know he would be choosing you to accompany him so quickly.” She managed to tell you, slightly out of breath from running after you, “I’m Seulgi by the way.”

You cleared your throat before replying, “I’m _____. Can you try to catch me up with the reports? As well as this one,” you gestured to the cart you’re still holding. Seulgi was quick to nod, immediately opening her mouth and pointing to and from the monitor prior to reporting the patients you will be handling today.

“You weren’t supposed to be accompanying Dr. Jeon during the rounds this morning, I thought they were still Dr. Park’s patient and yet she hadn't shown up in the station earlier.” she explained.

A tsked from behind startled you and her, “I am pretty sure I had informed our head nurse Ms. Jung about that,” Dr. Jeon said in a matter-of-fact tone, “I never knew the experienced nurse who entered our unit is apparently not equipped enough in what we’re dealing with here.”

You took a deep breath before responding calmly, “With all due respect, I believe that I am perfectly capable to handle the workflow in this ward Dr. Jeon. If only you allowed me a little time to be oriented with the equipment you used here.” you gestured to the cart, “I am fine with being scolded for my wrongdoings, but doing that in front of the patient looks unprofessional on our part. Especially yours, doctor.” you continued, seeing his facial expression falter for a second, then disappearing as if he’s not guilty of what has occurred. First day of your work in this ward and you’re already looking forward to going home, and perhaps going back to the maternity ward sooner than you planned.

No way you’re letting anyone, much less a doctor, undervalue your skills that you developed over time. “You should know the demands of every patient prior to arriving in this unit, nurse _____. We suffer from the shortages due to incompetence from our former staff and I don’t want you to become a deadweight for us, tarnishing the reputation we built as well as the lives we’ve saved.” he huffed, his eyes glaring at yours for a few seconds.

“I won’t be a deadweight, I can assure you that.” you vowed, tightening your grip over the trolley.

“Or you won’t last another day.” he added to your statement, then he turned around and proceeded to walk away from where you and Seulgi were still standing. She only cheered you in a whispered tone, as excessive noise is prohibited in the hallways, before she trudged back to the station.

You went off to follow the footsteps of the doctor in front of you, being aware of what you’re about to prepare for the next patient. You believed that he’s doing rounds according to the chronological order of his patients’ rooms, and so you flipped over the paper of the next patient.

During the course of the rounds, there was tension between you and him. Though you were able to answer the questions he threw at you, he was still hostile with you. Maybe he’s like that with everyone except his patients. Head nurse Jung managed to see you from afar, walking a few feet apart from Dr. Jeon as you recognized the guilt and the pending apology she would give you through her eyes.

Truth to be told, Ms. Jung knew how ruthless Dr. Jeon can be. It was a mistake on her part to not check her emails from time to time as she missed the email from Dr. Park sent yesterday about how she would be taking a day off, never knowing that he would be the one to treat her patients in her behalf today.

By the time head nurse Jung was finished explaining the reason you were too early to face the most demanding doctor in their unit, he was long gone from the station. Finding no purpose to stay as Dr. Jeon already managed to see you inputting the data, which means it would appear right on his laptop when he comes back to his office.

“You see how he’s like a phantom lurking around until he makes his presence known when you make a mistake.” Nurse Jimin teased while you and him were on a short lunch break, “though I applaud you for standing up to him, other nurses around here gossiped at how he was the reason for the staff shortages we’re experiencing in this ward.”

You tilt your head in question, “Why would he be?”

“Some of us here are kind of afraid of him, you see how he’s gentle with his patients and their relatives yet he treats others terribly, like how he was earlier with you.”

“How did you know---”

“Word travels fast, I guess.” he chuckled before taking a bite from his lunch. With a mouthful of food, he still replied, “Seulgi heard the commotion, the doors here can only muffle sounds but we can recognize his voice whenever Jungkook is aggravated.”

“Are you close to him?” you asked.

“Yeah, we attended the same nursing school.” Jimin casually replied.

You gasped, “wait, he’s also a nurse?”

“Yep, that is why he can criticize our work from time to time. Though he applied for medical school right after we got our license.” Jimin was quick on consuming his meal, now already packing his lunch boxes splayed onto the small coffee table in the lounge room tucked behind the station.

No more than a minute and he spoke, “It was nice talking with you, _____!” and waved his hand goodbye before he was off to continue his tasks before his shift ended. Which leaves you alone to yourself, perhaps with some other nurses whom you had yet to meet or introduce yourself personally.

The awkward atmosphere after Jimin left returns. And now you attempt to consume the rest of your packed lunch so you can start medical administrations towards your patient. You recalled earlier at how head nurse Jung would make the effort, insisting you to let her assign you to other patients that are not handled by Dr. Jeon, but you kindly declined since you are becoming accustomed to the needs of those patients. Not mentioning how you are determined to prove him wrong by successfully doing the tasks delegated to you, as well as adding your own insights that may be helpful in determining the prognosis of every patient assigned to you and him.

The empathetic side of you was quick to forgive his actions earlier, call it the attitude that you essentially developed back in nursing school. You never once doubted your ability when you started working in this hospital, and your evaluation forms from your former head nurse can prove that. As head nurse Jung has told you, you were still about to learn the difference of workflow that you established back in the maternity ward with what you’re currently grasping in their unit. You were never meant to work with him on your first day here, perhaps on day three with what she has scheduled for you and the other nurses in the morning shift.

You were glad to have Jimin and Seulgi, though she was long gone when you finished your rounds with Dr. Jeon. . . and the fact that she’s quite the blabbermouth with what has transpired between you and him travelled so quickly, from one mouth and ear to another.

The rest of your shift was peaceful, to say the least. You guessed that Dr. Jeon won’t drop by until later after your work so you were busy compiling documents needed to be printed and filed according to the patient’s medical information, as well as making discharge plans with other patients that are bound to be leaving the hospital the next day. Your hands were aching to a point where you keep shaking them from the pain that radiates through your fingertips, and time seemed to pass by when you saw that it was already 15 minutes since the end of your shift.

Most of the nurses you recognize earlier in the morning, including Jimin, are nowhere to be found at this time. They must’ve given their hand-off reports earlier before the time struck 14:00. While you were busy, you were beginning to proceed with your own reports towards the next nurse in shift.

“It’s your first day and you’re handling Dr. Jeon’s behavior,” nurse Nari, the one who’s about to take over your patients in the afternoon till evening, mused. “How was he?”

“Tolerable” you mumble, afraid that he might hear you even though he was still not in the nurses’ station.

She laughed only in return, “Oh he was intolerable for me on my first day here, but soon enough he softened up to me.”

You raised your brows, “Are you and him. . ?”

Nari shifted to full-on giggling, “No! But maybe someday when he’s ready to start his love life, I might do a little flirting here and there. For now, he’s focused on being a doctor full-time; he never bothered to go out on dates and he’s always found in his office at any time of the day.”

You hummed with the information she has revealed to you, though at first you couldn’t care less about the little deets about his personal life. Silence lingers for a bit before you continue to wrap up your work for today, “It was nice talking to you, Nari.”

“You too, _____.” She smiled before waving you goodbye as you were off to find head nurse Jung, itching to go back home in the apartment you are renting two blocks away from Severance hospital.

A week has passed since you started to continue your nursing practice in the pediatric ward. So far, you have set up a routine you follow religiously that enables you to finish all of your work on time. Though there are still a few things that you’re still getting used to,

The first is children who cry when you’re just about to give them syrup medications daily, and the second is the most demanding doctor that ever existed in this ward. . . or rather in this hospital. Although you cannot make a concise statement when you haven’t attempted to transfer to other facilities in this institution other than the maternity and pediatric unit.

There are moments where you see him in a good light; Dr. Jeon Jungkook’s attempt to give a small smile to other staff (or in this case it was just the head nurse and Jimin) and only hummed whenever you give your suggestions pertaining to the well-being of the patients you two were handling every day. Oftentimes you see him in a bad light; a short-tempered doctor who’s trying hard to tolerate other nurses’ attempts at providing a satisfactory result that reaches his criteria or whatever standard he has curated on his own and for the others to follow.

You haven’t had the time to figure out what kind of level he expects others to reach, considering that you were not always assigned to him. With the way the head nurse mixes up the assignments so you could take a breather from him, and for every nurse to ensure the quality of their work is up to what he wants in this unit. You see, you were late to find out that he’s newly appointed head of the pediatric department by the time you entered the ward last week, which only means that the internal pressure he has clearly elevated to satisfy not only the patients but also the administration of the hospital.

Gossips inside the ward would say that he’s working much harder than every other doctor in this institution to chase one thing, and that is to become the medical director of this whole institution. He has no time to create a network of influential people when his name alone can create a buzz in this place, no matter what department or ward you’re currently in. 

A loud clang of what you assumed are clipboards surrounded the ward so suddenly, snapping your focus from what you were currently typing on the computer when you hear the hushed scolding coming from the nook of the station. With the days you spent recognizing others’ faces and voices, you ought to know that Dr. Jeon was hot-headed today and he’s tormenting yet another staff member late in the morning. 

It was a miracle that he was not popping blood vessels when he has a hard time controlling his emotions from bursting like a balloon. Not long and head nurse Jung was quick to rescue another damsel from getting an earful from Dr. Jeon, like the way you experienced on your first day. You didn’t bother to look behind to see the commotion happening behind the curtains until someone tapped your shoulders. 

You looked around to see head nurse Jung, a kind smile adorning her features before gesturing towards Dr. Jeon, who was hasty in checking the charts from the clipboards containing his patients’ profiles. You knew the look she was giving you when you stood up from your seat and approached the grumpy doctor at his seat from the other side of the station. 

With the professional front you’ve practiced every night every time you’re about to face him, you asked “Are there other tasks you want me to take over for nurse Gaeul?” 

He only sighed before looking up at your face. A tired look replaced his usual features before he glanced back at the computer, “Just keep an eye on patient 302 every 15 minutes, report to me when her temperature increased above 38 degrees celsius. Also, check her heart rate.” 

You only offered a single reply of agreement before fetching the patient’s paper chart in one of the clipboards he’s currently looking at next to his laptop. While your hands are about to made contact with the rigid plastic covering, Dr. Jeon was quick to grab your wrist. “Record it on a new paper, nurse _____.” 

His tone of voice was distant to the usual sound emitting from his mouth on a daily basis. It was smoother, a tone of softness lingers when he talked to you today compared to other days. Or is it just his voice he’s using when he was sucked out of energy to do nearly anything productive for a while. 

You only commented, “Seems like you’re tired, when did you last step out of this hospital Dr. Jeon?” 

Although you attempted making small talk, he felt like doing otherwise. “None of your business.”

“Okay.” you awkwardly replied, fleeing from the station after you mumble your apologies towards him. You hoped that no one heard of it except you and him, while he remained unresponsive in his seat with his right hand massaging his temples after you trudge your way out of the station. 

It was after you submitted your charts when you thought you would see the last of him, now that you’re given a day off from working tomorrow. You only hoped that the apartment above yours would settle down from making too much noise during your free time, you were generous enough to give them a few days (3 days would suffice in your own opinion) to completely move their stuff into the building. You didn’t know your new neighbors yet, but you were confident to assume that the people above your floor are the new tenants as the apartment has been vacant for a while. 

You took a shower when you arrived back home. Your slumped posture welcoming the warm shower, sighing in relief with the perfect temperature as you felt yourself getting sleepy in the process. A nap after this would appease your free schedule, containing no plans to even step outside and socialize with your friends who are working in other parts of Seoul city. 

Though your plans didn’t go to plan when you realized you forgot to take out yesterday’s trash. Now clad within your pajamas at 18:00, you begrudgingly picked up the plastic bags lying at the little foyer of your apartment and wore your sandals lying on the steps. You approached the elevators at the end of the dimmed hall, pressing the button going down as you patiently waited for the doors to open.

You nearly dropped the trash bags in your clutch when you saw a familiar face greeting your sight when the doors swung open. Inside the elevator stood Jimin, whose hair was still wet and was also holding recyclable trash on his forearms. A smile grew on both of your faces when you recognized each other. 

“I didn’t know you lived here?!” you exclaimed during the elevator ride down the building.

He replied, “Well, we just moved in days ago. We’re residing on the 5th floor.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re the one who’s been moving stuff in the middle of the night.” you mused, to which he only shyly rubbed his neck probably in embarrassment. 

“We’re sorry about that,”

You shook your head, “No worries though, welcome to the building!”

The elevator doors opened by the time you finished your small talk, but deep inside you were hoping to chat more with him as he has become a close friend of yours since day one. Compared to what you are currently wearing, Jimin seems to be preparing to go somewhere with the way he’s wearing a nice outfit; donning a striped shirt with black jeans and boots to compliment his figure. It was a miracle to still be fit despite the stress you and him are facing nearly every morning. 

“By the way, we’re going out to celebrate our moving in. Perhaps you want to join?” he told you while taking both of your time walking towards the back of the building, where the trash segregation is done manually. You instantly nodded in agreement, granting your wish to hang out with him at least once outside of work.

“We,” you wondered, “who did you move in with? Is it your significant other?” 

A chuckle left his throat only, almost as if he’s too shy to reveal who it is. “Well, I think you know who it is. I have been living with him though it feels like I’m the one who always occupies the apartment because he’s not home most of the time.” 

“He. . . who is he? Jungkook?” you joked, while Jimin’s glance was focused behind your figure.

“What’s funny about my name, miss _____?” Jungkook, once again, made himself known in the worst way possible. You nearly choked in your own spit, eyes widening in astoundment with your reply answering Jimin’s words. 

“Nothing doc-- I mean sir,” you coughed, “Jungkook-ssi. Welcome to the building you two.” You quickly strode away from them towards the glass door entrance of the back of the building. 

While you wanted to cower away for the rest of the night, Jimin never failed to remind you when and where you two (and Jungkook, apparently) will meet for dinner. “Let’s meet down at the lobby in an hour, _____.” 

You only raised your right arm, with your hand gesture agreeing to the arrangement.  

As the time arrived, you were clad from your sleepwear to wearing a simple shirt and jeans to dinner. They were precisely on time when you found them in the lobby once the elevator you’re in arrived on the ground floor. Compared to the usual white coat and formal outfit that adorns Jungkook’s frame, his outfit for tonight consists of loose clothing that barely compliments his figure yet screams comfortability. 

“Tell us when you’re done ogling at me because I’m hungry.” he snapped you out of your thoughts while looking smug. If he weren’t that handsome you could’ve smacked him--

Rather, you quickly averted your gaze towards his companion by his side, “You look great, Jimin.” 

A huff was barely inaudible from the only doctor in the group before exiting the building first, leaving you and Jimin to initiate the conversation on your own. Though he didn’t fail to include Jungkook into the talk, his responses were clipped to a few words only before resorting to silence. He was consumed with the handheld device in his palm most of the time, while simultaneously walking along the pavement. 

“Is he always that cold and harsh when meeting strangers?” You can’t help but ask Jimin who’s walking by your side. 

He replied to your question after looking cautiously at the man walking a few feet away from the two of you, “Not always, though he has the ability to sense those who are trying to score a date with him after their initial conversation with him.”

“So he doesn’t do relationship?” 

Jimin shook his head, looking back at Jungkook who did not make any attempt to remark about his roommate’s statement. “As far as we have lived together, he has never brought a date back home in the last few years.” 

The amount of pork belly you and Jungkook had grilled over later was not quantifiable with your fingers, but you three were still not incoherent enough to count the number of soju bottles that you have drunk during the span of dinner. You were still safe from stumbling your way back home with them. As much as your mind could still absorb the events tonight, you were still capable of comparing the sudden shift in Jungkook’s behavior as it was influenced by the alcohol content of the beverage. 

Your vision could barely capture how he looked tonight after drinking; red-faced and the creases between his brows were nowhere to be found. His eyes were bigger, brighter than the usual sharp stare that your set of eyes meet nearly every morning. The conversation you barely made through with him was now flowing at ease, effectively getting to know each other even though there’s a big possibility that you might forget about it when you wake up the next day.

“Does baby fever exist among the staff in the maternity ward?” Jimin curiously asked out of the blue, which made you choke on the soju shot you’re currently taking. Meanwhile, Jungkook only laughed drunkenly in response. 

“I don’t know how to answer that, but in my experience, I hadn’t thought of it. I mean, babies are cute when they’re still babies, not when they enter the age of 18 months.” 

Jimin hummed, still looking sober among the three of you despite drinking the same amount of alcohol, “Well, what convinced you to join the pediatric unit. Knowing that you’re aware of the ages of the patients we’re treating?” 

Okay. That was a hard question. Rather than replying first, you pick up another slice of grilled pork to eat and ponder more about your answer. The truth can inevitably cause a feud with the involved departments, good thing you have an ounce of sobriety within you at that moment. 

“Is it because of me, huh? You haven’t been able to take your eyes off of me--” Jungkook smugly replied. 

You interrupted him with a scoff, “Get off your high horse, I didn’t know you even exist until I saw your stupid face that morning!” Jimin only laughed when his roommate’s face became stern, with a pout that only appears when he’s had enough alcohol in his system. 

“How is my face stupid!? Children adore me whenever they see me, but with you, they suddenly cry. This face is the reason many people want me. How about you, huh?” Jungkook retorted, his voice slurring more than ever. 

You were about to answer back when Jimin suddenly covered your mouth and Jungkook’s, “You two had enough for tonight, even when you’re drunk you’re still getting on each other’s nerves. And you can’t use your normal voices, we’re not in a bar with booming music to raise your voices!”

Jungkook still tried to respond, even if the sounds were muffled to the point that you can’t comprehend the words he was saying but you were sure that he’s insulting you behind Jimin’s hand. Though it seemed funny at first for Jimin to see how the two of you are acting, he was worried after the bad looks you two were gaining inside the restaurant. 

“I think it’s time we head back home, you guys.” You couldn’t agree more, wanting to make Jungkook disappear from your sight at that moment.

#bts #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #bangtan #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fics #bts fluff #bts angst #kpop #kpop fics #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #doctor!jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst

[luminecho]

An acquaintance once stopped me on my way to class.

"Are you happy?" he asked me.

"What, just like, in general?" I said, confused.

"Yeah, just in general."

And it's not exactly the sort of existential question you're expecting to have dropped on you at 11 am on a Wednesday. And it was actually my birthday that day, but he didn't know that and it didn't feel super relevant so I didn't mention it. But the question itself made me stop and think after.

Because it's this question that gets asked of us so often in life. Are you happy with where you are now? Do you think you'll be happy in the future? You were so happy when you were a kid. What changed?

And I think when you start to get into adolescence and adulthood, it becomes expected of you to not be happy. Because that's the sort of society we live in today. It's so damn hard to be happy. And it shouldn't be. But it is. Happiness is like this fleeting thing way off on the horizon that people constantly grasp for, and we all do things in desperation to finally reach it, and maybe it works for some and maybe it doesn't for others.

I don't know if the typical college student is happy or not. But I do know that I don't really consider myself the typical anything, and one thing I pride myself a lot in is that I have a very strong understanding of exactly who I am and where I am in life. I'm at a school that I like taking classes that I enjoy. I have a bunch of friends who I love, and maybe they're all online and far away from me but that's okay. I have a bunch of hobbies that I love doing and a bunch of interests that I share with others and each day they bring me a little bit of enjoyment.

So, in that moment, I didn't even really need to think before replying.

"I am," I said with a smile.

And my acquaintance turned to the friend beside him.

"See?" he said, "I told you!"

I chuckled to myself and walked away.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Because like... what were they talking about? The scenario I found myself crafting in my head was one where this friend of his was saying that most people these days aren't happy. And maybe they're right. But that doesn't mean no one is happy. And that doesn't mean you can't find happiness. It's out there. It's out there in the little things. In the smiles of strangers and in the soundless laughter of text conversations, in music and poetry and art and the hot lights of a stage. It's in butterflies landing on flowers just beside you, and taking the time to stop and admire it for several minutes even though you know you're missing your bus because somehow the butterfly is just so much more important.

And I think my favorite part is that not only did I get to prove to a stranger that day that happiness exists, but I also got to prove it to myself, both in the past and in the future.

Because what if I had been asked that question a few years ago? In the middle of a pandemic, stuck at home attending high school in front of a computer, feeling like I'm drowning because I don't have the motivation to do my work and the one hobby I've held onto so dearly, drawing, feels like it's slipping through my grasp and I just can't enjoy it anymore and it's this real grief that's weighing me down. Telling my therapist that I wasn't sure who I was yet because I felt like this walking contradiction who longed for things I was too afraid to act on. Would I have said I was happy, then? I don't know.

And what about in the future? When any number of possibilities could happen. Will I say that I'm happy, or will I be stuck in a rut and not know the answer?

I didn't have a good birthday. Some days I'm stressed more than others. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes I feel like the world is caving in on me.

But the question wasn't, "Are you happy right now?" It wasn't a "How are you doing today?" or a "How's your morning?"

The question was, "Are you happy?"

"In general?"

"Yeah. In general."

And even if today is hard, tomorrow may be better. And if tomorrow is hard too, then you have countless weeks ahead of you that will look different and brighter than they did before.

I'm happy. I'm not happy every second of every day, because no one is. But that's not what "general" happiness looks like. General happiness is just... being satisfied with where you are now. Being comfortable in the new and unfamiliar experiences you're sitting in. And being comfortable with knowing it's all going to change soon.

Happiness is real. And if you don't have it now, then it's still out there, waiting with open hands.

And I just think that's neat.

#echo shouts to the void #echo writes #idk #creative writing #something you may need to hear #i guess. i've never put my own post in that tag

[mecchantheotaku]

Why I Love The Voices

I decided that regardless of the poll results, this is something I will be posting.

If it results in a yes, this will serve as an explanation for my weird fixation and why I will continue to post about them for the way I see them.

If it results in a no, this will be my last post about them, and will explain and apologise for my obsession.

Flash back to sometime in 2023, my boyfriend messaged me on Discord and invited me to watch him play a demo of a horror-romance visual novel.

I watched it and saw him pick his decisions, and instantly fell in love with the game.

I looked at the other paths we didn't get online and I decided I had to at least see the full version when it came out.

I even had a waifu picked out (it was, and still is, The Adversary).

Now at the time, I wasn't too focused on the Voices. I liked Contrarian and thought Stubborn was based, but I didn't really dwell on them too much. I was more focused on the different versions of the Princess.

Later that year, the full game came out and me and my boyfriend were hype. We got into a Discord call, and he streamed the game. I was fascinated by all the routes we went through. All the Princesses, all the Voices, and all the moments with the Shifting Mound.

At that point, I was starting to see the appeal of the Voices and even yelled in excitement when Contrarian showed up in The Fury, like "Hey! It's our old friend!" I found myself seeing their points of view more than most people would have their first time playing.

My boyfriend played, and I watched intensely like it was a movie at the cinema. I hadn't figured out what made the Voices so appealing to me yet, until we got to the ending. Literally, the moment the Voice of the Hero showed up, I finally understood.

Him, and the other Voices, felt like a connection deeper than the romance we had with the Princess. They felt like family to me. And that's why I love them.

I looked up the other routes online and eventually bought the game for myself so I could explore it. It's one of the few games I've managed to 100% complete. I started posting about it on Tumblr and now my blog is filled with nothing but my brainrot.

Why, though? That's... complicated. During November of 2023, I had gotten a different game I was hyped for all year, but because the controls focused on moving your body, and I was out of shape, I could only do a little bit of it the day I got it, and then I got sick and couldn't play it for a while.

And then things got really ugly for me.

My Internet had decided to fizzle out to the point that it was cutting out by the minute and when it did decide to connect in a semi-stable way, it was so bad I could only watch videos at a maximum of 480p. Yes, that bad.

Not to mention I was suffering from stress coming from my real life family, preparations for Christmas and money troubles.

I needed something to cling to. Anything to cling to. And as if I could hear them in my own head, the Voices were there when I needed them.

That's when I started posting about them. I was just getting my thoughts out there, and before you knew it, I had become a regular poster in this wonderfully weird community. And it was so much nicer than other communities I'd been part of.

Thinking about them and sharing my thought about them helped me get through a hard time, and if you've seen my posts, you know just how hard this time has been for me even recently.

I hope you can forgive me for being so selfish. Regardless of the poll results, I will still continue to love the Voices.

Thank you for reading.

#slay the princess #mecchan talks #slay the princess spoilers

[cyber-celeste]

Idia Shroud x reader NSFW HCs

A/N: I’m a virgin so don’t expect me to know a bunch about sex. I also am having extreme Idia brainrot so I might make a follow up NSFW fic

Tw// slight Idia slander, Nsfw obviously, dom and sub idia, AFAB reader(its only really mentioned once though) , mentions of e-sex and online porn, mentions of hentai, sex toys, shibari (bondage basically), overstim and edging, pegging, maybe more :)

!!THIS IS NOT MY ART ITS @_LYNUNE ON TWT ART!!

Uhh where do I start…

He’s just a little silly, and a little stupid just like me :)

He’s probs had e-sex before

Okay okay I’ll be serious now… maybe…

I think his dick is like long and skinny maybe like 7, 7.5 inches?? And he does not know how to use it

Okay he might be good at sex a little bit from the copious amounts of hentai he’s watched but he extremely embarrassed by even the thought of sex

I would love to believe he hasn’t started an nsfw twt but I bet he has

He will delete it as soon as you guys start dating though

He is very good at dirty talk but will never say it in real life due to him thinking its unbelievably embarrassing

Your guys first time is very awkward unless you want to take control

If you don’t take control he’ll only have feather light touches on you, he’ll try to be slow and soft but he messes up so much

If you do have control he will not stop you, this is exactly how he’d like it to go, how you take it if your personal decision but the most he does is grip your hips and whimper under you

Once your relationship’s sex life has started he’ll definitely like send nudes or just plain out say things he’d do to you through text (he might go through with them but probably won’t)

If you are more submissive it doesn’t really matter to him but you just get to see a more sadistic side of him, he goes with how you feel comfortable instead of his wants most the time

If you are comfortable with him using toys on you he’ll almost die, he loves seeing your face and reactions of you in pleasure so him being able to see it without being distracted by his own is amazing

He’d edge and overstimulate you for hours until your crying while he just sit under you whispering small praises to you as he thrusts toys in you, rubbing your clit and kissing your legs, leaving small hickeys.

He’d totally would be into shibari for himself and you, if you let him tie you up and use toys on you he’d seriously be in heaven

He’d absolutely mark you everywhere just to be a little possessive silently hoping people would know your his

Despite popular belief I don’t think Idia has degradation kink i think he’d instead have a praise kink

If you are more dominant he wants you to destroy him seriously.

Like you can use him whenever

Also he’d love for you to use toys on him too, he’d love anything from a little vibrator rubbing on his head to you full on pegging him

Like just lay him down on his stomach and go in

He has the cutest whimpers ever and no one can tell me otherwise

Get underneath his chair while he’a gaming and he’ll get pissed but also would love it

Now going back to sub bc I want to

He has the cutest petnames for you, and they aren’t cringey ones (in my opinion) like “my player two” or something he’ll just call you a simply one or shorten your name (if it can be shortened)

Him actually fucking you is the best thing ever, he only goes for your pleasure and he can go from soft sex to railing the shit out of you

He has gamer hands that he barely knows how to use

He (once he gets the hang of it) will make you cum in seconds

He has a fun fixation on breasts no mattee the size he loves them same with thighs tbh

#twisted wonderland #idia shroud #idia x y/n #idia x mc #idia smut #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud smut #i love idia

[secretlywritingstories]

SUBSCRIBE FOR COMFORT CONTENT | phan one shot

Summary:

Phil casually created an idea how to bring back the gaming channel, Dan stayed up too late writing a skit and now they've got to go pick up Dil's head. To rise again, you must first acknowledge that you died.

Tags: 2023!phan, domestic fluff, introspective Dan, the gaming channel LIVES! (essentially just me in my feels)

No warning apply

Read on AO3 or below

They had to do it. It was necessary. The end of an era.

In many ways leaving 2018 behind had meant closing a lot of Dan and Phil boxes. The Interactive Introverts tour finished up, gaming channel went on hiatus and Phil is not on fire was celebrated for the tenth and final time. They needed to create some distance from the "Dan and Phil" that were joined and the hip.

Well, online.

In real life, it was quite a different story. They still liked to live in each other’s pockets most of the time. It was a familiar habit that none of them were keen to break. In fact, they had only grown closer and stronger in the years that had passed.

They had come out, they had built their forever home, they were laying down the foundations for the future that they would have together. More than four years had gone by quickly and one thing from their past was still caught in limbo.

It was about time they did something about it.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked, looking over at Dan when as the car pulled up to the storage unit facility.

He was smiling, practically bouncing in his seat, and Dan’s heart squeezed so tenderly. Phil had been ready for this for longer than him. Dan had been the one that needed to pull the plug on the channel back in the day, and Phil had respected it, but he’d insisted on calling it a hiatus. So that they could eventually bring it back.

It hadn’t taken much for Dan to agree, even though he wasn’t sure what the future would bring. He didn’t like closing doors behind him, and the gaming channel had been something quite special. It had been a lot of work and taken a lot of their time and energy, but it had been worth it.

It was something fun that they did together, and that their community could enjoy and rejoice in it. He really hoped the excitement would still be there. He had faith in them but it was still scary.

“I’m ready,” Dan said with a nod, even as his breath felt caught in his throat.

Phil’s hand found his, low and out of sight of the driver, and he didn’t let go until they were climbing out of the car. They always found ways to gravitate towards each other, exist in the same space for the simple comfort of being near your person, but it was only in the last few years that holding hands publicly had been a thing.

They were still being subtle about it, but they did it now. Reach out and gasp, for a brief or a long moment. Before it had felt too gay, like it was going to out them, if anyone saw it.

Things were different now.

It was a bit of a walk down narrow hallways to get to their own storage unit. Dan hadn’t actually been here since they moved everything into it, and he was suddenly hit the with urge to turn tail and run.

It was a ridiculous thought. He should not be running away from his past. It wasn’t scary. Not exactly, but every token and letter in that storage unit held a little part of their history. They were bridging eras now bringing something from the past into the future.

Dan’s feet felt heavy but before he could get too lost in existential dread, Phil was grabbing his hand again and physically pulling him forward. It made Dan snort, but he let himself get pulled along easily. Sometimes, it was good to have Phil just act when Dan became immobilised like this.

The whole announcement had been Phil’s idea too. He’d clearly just been spitballing and messing around with some ideas for fun. It hadn’t been the first time that he’d talked about how they could bring the gaming channel back from hiatus, but it was the first time that Dan hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

It had haunted him for a couple of days until he was up late and writing an actual script for the skit that Phil had suggested. It was short and sweet, meant to be funny but also pull on your heartstrings just a little.

He had never quite mastered how to be a funny guy without some sentimentality.

Rather than telling Phil that he’d written the script, he’d just sent it to him on email. It was a cop out, but it was truly easier to just get his thoughts onto the page and then release them without needing to look into anyone’s eyes.

Though Phil had come charging in, midday the following day, with eyes shining so brightly. He didn’t even need to say anything, just stand there and look with his mouth open, phone in hand, presumably open on the email. Dan had nodded.

Yeah, it was time. The doomed hiatus should come to an end.

Still, it felt hard to unlock their unit and be met with so many of their old memorabilia that they hadn’t wanted to get rid of. They hadn’t wanted their new home overrun with all Dan and Phil stuff from their online careers, so it had felt like a good middle way to rent this place. To have it be somewhere safe and not too far away but not just hiding in the basement.

Or the closet.

They really didn’t want to be shoving anything back into that. It had taken years for Dan to fully crawl his way out and he was never going to let anyone put any part of him back into it again.

It thankfully wasn’t difficult to find Dil’s head. The papier-mâché monstrosity was hauntingly big. On more than on occasion, it had jumpscared Dan back when it had lived on top of their closet in the old gaming channel room.

“Come here, old fellow,” Phil said, pushing through boxes uncoordinated, with only his eyes set on his prize.

Dan followed, reaching out a hand to steady Phil’s hip as he went up on his toes to try to wiggle the head down with just his fingertips. When they’d tossed it on top of the selves, Dan hadn’t considered when they needed to get it down. It had been too hard to think about.

Phil got his fingers under the edge and pulled it down with a war cry and then leaned back too fast. He was balancing the head in his hand, and while it wasn’t heavy, it was quite big and awkward to hold onto.

“Fuck, Phil,” Dan cursed under his breath, as too much of Phil’s weight was suddenly falling into him. He tightened his hold on Phil’s hip and moved his other hand to grab his arm, just narrowly managing not to send the two of them falling into the boxes to their left.

“Oops,” Phil said innocently, and turned around to Dan with a big smile. “But look, I got it! Dil Howlter in all of his glory!”

It really was remarkable how well the head had held up after all of these years and all of the travelling that it had endured. It had been through the ringer, but it was still looking good.

Dan reached out towards Dil’s cheek, feeling the old paint under his fingertips. He touched it with softness, almost feeling an urge to whisper an apology to the obnoxious big head. It was stupid. Obviously, Dil Howlter had been alive and well in their old computer all of this time. He was a string of code and he couldn’t care less that Dan and Phil had abandoned playing with him and the little family that had grown around him.

But he knew there were others that had waited. It was no joke that him and Phil still got questions whether Dab and Evan ever would get the wedding they deserved. Their community hadn’t forgotten, and while they could always rewatch the old videos, this was the chance to show them something new.

To give into that urge to exist together on camera again, getting lost in games side by side, like they had done before.

“You hold him,” Phil said, practically showing Dil’s head into Dan’s chest. Phil acted like it was on a whim and turned around to look at another box, but Dan knew well enough that Phil had seen right through him. Seen that Dan just needed a moment to take it all in.

They were doing this. Peej, Sophie and Sean had all said yes. The church was rented. The make-up artist and sound guy booked. They were shooting it next week. No expense was spared. It was going to be a fun little video, but it was also an important one. All props except one had been collected.

Dan was holding the last piece.

He looked down into Dil’s soulless eyes, and it felt like something unfurled in his chest. It started slow and spread out, and suddenly, he was smiling. So widely that his face almost hurt. His body felt like it was buzzing and he kind of wanted to jump up and down as an outlet to this sudden surge of energy.

This was real. They were doing this. They were bringing it back.

“There you are,” Phil said, and suddenly, he was right back in Dan’s space, pulling the head from his hand, so he could get right up in Dan's space.

Phil’s hands touched his cheeks, with the same softness that Dan had reached out to touch Dil. Phil held onto him and made their eyes meet. Dan’s excitement kept bubbling in his chest, growing wildly when he could watch the giddiness in Phil’s eyes again. It had never left. He’d always had a much easier time with stuff like this, and yet, he was right there waiting for Dan to catch up.

He was always doing that. Letting Dan pump the breaks on things without a single complaint.

“Sorry, I took so long,” Dan said, his smile growing even wider. It felt like he was shaking, or maybe he was just buzzing. It was hard to tell. The emotions felt so big in his chest that he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

No longer would this be the end of an era. It would be the beginning of a new one. He’d even gotten Phil on board with full-on swearing in the skit. It was going to be so good.

“We’re right on time,” Phil said, face moving close enough that his lips almost brushed against Dan’s as he spoke. “Always perfectly on time, Dan.”

Phil was much more of a man of action but he knew how Dan felt about words. He had gotten quite good at putting his affections into the shape where it would reach Dan the easiest. It was only on special occasions that Phil broke his own instincts to meet Dan’s. Moments like this.

Dan leaned forward, just enough to catch Phil’s lips against his. A familiar quick press against each other. He let out a shaky exhale as he pulled back, and flickered his eyes up to look at Phil again.

It was going to be a goddamn pleasure to be able to sit down next to him and goof off on camera while they had fun playing video games. He’d missed it, and it like he hadn’t quite realised how deeply until it was back within his grasp.

“Let’s go resurrect this bitch,” Dan said, leaning over to grab Dil’s head again.

#phanfiction #phanfic #DanAndPhilGAMES #phandom #my stories