#ever since what happened I’ve been reliving a lot of feelings I’ve buried so far down my throat

[sugurus-slxt]

Our Song – Tsukishima Kei

Type: fluff (SFW)

Warnings: slight cursing, not eating, crying

Note: Guess you could say it’s a college au but I’ve been working at this for a while so I hope you like it.

Word Count: 3388

Hope you guys enjoy the story      

Sunday [6:30 p.m.]

You were laying on your bed in your dorm running your fingers through Kei’s hair while he listened to music. This is how you spent most rainy weekends. He was quietly humming to his overly loud music but you were kind of in a daze looking at the wall but not quite. You did this a lot while staring off in your faraway land, thinking of a future with him but it’s not something you would tell him. You were too afraid he didn’t feel the same way. You knew he loved you, nearly two years into college and you both are still going strong but what if he never thought about it.

“Hey, shorty! Whatcha thinking about?” He looked up at you. “Oh, nothing really just some assignment my professor mentioned in class today,” you lied trying to brush it off quickly. He just shrugged and asked, “Ok...  Umm…Wanna listen to music with me? I’ll play my playlist you like.” You nodded, “I’ll get my Bluetooth headphone…” he pulled on your wrist. “I’ll share these with you,” he held up his regular earbuds and you agreed. If that’s what he wants, it was fine with you.

Tsukishima would never admit it but sharing his earbuds like this with you made him feel more connected like sharing your energy, a sort of bond, it was romantic for him. The thought of it always made the tips of his ears turn pink. He switched positions to have you lay next to him, your face buried in his chest. Silently, he prayed you couldn’t feel his heart quicken as he rested his head atop yours and hand on your waist. Headphones plugged on the playlist began. A few songs in a familiar song started to play, a love song, one of your favorites. “Babe? This song …” you started but he shushed you. “I know. I know. I added it because I knew you liked it ok now just listen ok. It’s no big deal,” his fingers played along your spine only making you feel more nervous. Your thoughts began to wander as more of your favorite romantic songs played. At this point, it was 7:30 PM and there was one thought that couldn’t leave your mind ‘What’s our song?’ and before you knew it you started talking, “Hey um Kei? What’s our song?” You regretted it as soon as you asked. “Huh? What do you mean our song?” he questioned his voice slightly drowsy and muffled by your hair. “It’s just… you know what it’s nothing,” you brushed it off and tried to continue listening to the music but he paused it.

“Spit it out y/n,” he said looking at you, it wasn’t meant to be rude, he just preferred you to be straightforward. You didn’t intend to make a mini-rant but it happened, “You know our song. It like a song for us that describes us and no matter where or who we’re with when it plays we think of each other. Or like if we are together and it’s just that knowing look that happens when it plays. Our song that’ll make it feel like it’s just us no matter who’s around. And it’s not just us you know its fits us, describes us like it was meant for us. Like it’s a song we can play to dance at our wedding, and again on our anniversary and relive the moment. Maybe even for our ki-,” you stopped in your tracks. You had caught yourself before you went too far. It was unbelievable you just brushed it off a while ago but it still managed to come out. Your most insecure thoughts were poking at you as Kei just kind of looked at you, lips parted. You’ve never seen that expression well except the time he’d see you naked for the first time but still, this was a bit different. He looked away scratching his neck and said, “Oh ok… Well, we can think about a song I guess but I’m kinda hungry and I told Tadashi I would go for pizza with him so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Your face fell as he grabbed his stuff and walked out of your dorm. He just kind of brushed it off and you were terrified because he was supposed to stay the night. You knew Kei could be like this, he wasn’t the best with his emotions and you knew that. You even loved it but this time his lack of response just threw you into a blender of bad thoughts. Maybe you just made him nervous but what if he didn’t want that, what if you had scared him off your mind was racing. You went to bed without dinner and tried to fall asleep whilst listening to the playlist he had made for you whilst trying to hold back sobs. It’s a miracle you got any sleep that night, thoughts kept attacking you “What if he breaks up with me tomorrow? What if he doesn’t want that with me? Does he think I’m stupid for thinking so far? ”

-----Out for Pizza with Yamaguchi-----

“I thought you and y/n had plans?” he said sipping his drink.

“Hey … We did but um she started talking about this thing called ‘our song’,” he was hoping he could clear his head and talk about how he felt without messing things up. Tadashi was always good with words and being kind.

“But isn’t that like good?” He asked confused chewing his pizza. Unlike Tsukishima who hadn’t touched his food even a bit.

“I guess but she was talking about marriage and kids and I-,” he paused looking down whilst fiddling with the straw in his drink.

-----The Next Day-----

You put on some concealer to hide your eye bags and puffiness, some regular comfy clothes, and bought a whole lot of coffee, just something to get you through today but it didn’t help. You couldn’t focus and it was driving you mad. Your friends noticed your teachers and even the janitor. There was no doubt Kei wouldn’t notice but he wouldn’t let you just say “It’s nothing…” However, there was one problem you hadn’t seen him all day. It was the end of this achingly slow day and you bumped into Yamaguchi, “Hey have you seen Tsukishima?” He smiled and said, “No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday but I’m sure you could probably find him in his dorm later.” You wanted to ask him if Kei had said anything but in all honestly you were too scared to. You thanked him and quickly went on you way.

-----Next Week------

The entirety of last week had followed a similar cycle to the say after what you consider the “Great Tragedy”.  You’d barely eaten or slept, the dark circles were becoming more than obvious. You were convinced you guys were over and it was getting harder to bear. Sure you could have just seen him at his dorm and ended this prolonged misery much quicker but something always came up whether it be a problem, an assignment, or just your cowardly nature towards the situation. At this point, you were just torturing yourself. Tomorrow was your 2 year anniversary and you were more than afraid to face him. That’s if it wasn’t over already.

-----At Tsukshima’s Dorm-----

“You have to go see her,” Yamaguchi pleaded

“But what if she doesn’t want me anymore now? What if I messed up? Worse what if she thinks you hate her? I should have seen her even if I was busy.  I’m always such- such dammit I’m an asshole,” it was one of those rare moments in his life where he was having a breakdown and he didn’t know what to do.

“Tsukishima Kei! You better calm down right now!” Yamaguchi held on to Tsukishima shaking his shoulders. “You aren’t going to know unless you find out ok. I know you, even if you’re not good at expressing yourself but you always succeed in getting the point across plus just sleep tonight and execute the master plan tomorrow. And for the record she knew you were an asshole, strangely I think she likes that,” he patted Tsukishima on the back and left the dorm, giving him a small laugh and smile of reassurance.

The words master plan gave him some comfort but he wouldn’t really call it that. It was always the plan it just took longer than he expected. He’s kind of glad you never came to check on him but he knew you, even if it didn’t seem that way. He knew you were hurt and your habits would have taken a turn for the bad he just hoped that he didn’t mess up for good. Tomorrow was your anniversary so in a sense the timing was perfect. The only problem was he’d avoided you for so long he hadn’t even seen you, sure he asked around but his worries weren’t put to rest so easily. He’d never let you know how obsessive he could be.

It killed him to be away from you for so long, especially how your last encounter had ended.  He could only hope this would make you see, make you understand how he feels once and for all.

----- Anniversary----- 

He was hoping he could catch you around campus for lunch and maybe convince you to take a walk with him to the nearby coffee shop where both of you had your first date, but you weren’t anywhere to be seen. He remembered that date, no matter what snarky remark he made you’d laugh and giggle. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, but he wouldn’t show it, instead, he’d made a snarky remark towards you laugh which only made you laugh harder. He was intrigued, captured in a sort of way and he knew you’d keep him that way for a long time but now it was a bit different.

“Hey, Tsukki! I heard she’s in her dorm, she hadn’t gone to classes all day,” Yamaguchi ran up to him pulling him out of the memory.

“Thank you!” He ran quickly, practicing more often really paid of athletic-wise.

----- In Your Dorm -----

You hadn’t moved all day. No breakfast, lunch, snack not even water. Your body ached, your nose stuffed not only from crying but rather because you worried yourself sick, literally. His gift laid unwrapped on the floor, It was a box of various things you thought he might like, new kneepads with a cute little dino on the ends, a jacket with an embroidered moon on it, cute matching dino necklaces, and a plushy which was you guessed it a dinosaur. Now you were wondering if he’d even want anything from you.  

As the heaviness of your eyelids started to take over there was a sound of the door opening, you quickly pulled the blanket over your head. Kei was the only one with a key; you wouldn’t let him see you like this. You didn’t want this to be the last way he saw of you, pathetic, weak, and plain loser. You prepared yourself to be broken up with as he called out, “Y/n! Y/n! Shorty! Babe, I’m coming in!” ‘Babe ?” your thoughts lingered on the word, it gave you hope and a bit of courage to call back out quietly because you could barely raise your voice, “I’m in my bed.”

He peeked his head in and the sight made his heart crack, “You little dummy! You got yourself sick; I should have known this would happen. Umm, I’ll be right back.” He ran out and in about 15 minutes he had been back, and even then you were still shocked and confused. “I’m in your kitchen,” He called out.  All you could manage was to mumble a simple ‘ok.’ His plans had few out the window and in all honesty, he was panicking just a bit but he still had a backup plan though and he thinks it’ll work just fine. All he had to do was try his best to do what he came here for, he just wanted to make you see and hopefully he hadn’t ruined everything.

Tsukishima waltzed into your room carrying a bowl, “Ok, I’m no cook but I can make ramen. You better like it ok.” He helped you sit up and held the spoon to your mouth which kind of took you by surprise, “Come on open up or I’ll eat it myself. Unless you want me to do that airplane thing they do for babies you’re such a child anyways,” he joked earning a little giggle from you. You gladly took the mouthful and smiled, “Yummy. Thank you, babe,” a small smile quirked his lips to your response. This caused your cheeks to feel even warmer if that was even possible, the fever was already burning you alive. After you finished the ramen, he made you take some medicine and drink water. At this point, the fact that today was your anniversary was completely forgotten but you did the one thing that got you into this mess again. You blurted out, “So you’re not here to break up with me?” He looked sort of taken aback, had he really made you feel that way. He thought maybe his lack of response had made you sort of letting go of yourself but he didn’t think that this could happen. He hated that he couldn’t make you believe in his love, that he always came off as cold but it was time to execute the plan. He hoped this would show you.

“What? No, no I’m not here for that but um we can talk about this after you should get some rest,” He padded towards you and laid next to you wrapping his arms around you. “What if you get sick?” you questioned him quietly. “It’s whatever; you’re the dummy who didn’t take care of yourself so now I gotta do this. Plus maybe then you can take care of me, you owe me anyway because I made you my amazing ramen,” you chuckled at his response, leaning into his touch. “Wait I almost forgot,” he grabbed his earbuds and his phone. He readjusted and started the music, you were four songs in, all happened to be a mix of his and your favorites.

Tsukishima’s heart rate had quickened and his breathes were getting shallow, it was fast approaching and he was nervous. He couldn’t help but wonder ‘What if you hadn’t liked it?’ The song started and you knew immediately, you couldn’t face him your hand over your mouth, tears welled in your eyes it was beautiful, it was perfect. You could feel every emotion, every thought, you knew he loved you before but this was pure, it was his everything and he did it all for you.

The weight shifted on the bed as he came on the other side of the bed on one knee, he pulled your hand from your mouth and kissed your knuckles, “I’m sorry I left you waiting for so long, I’m sorry I made you feel lonely and hurt but most of all I’m sorry for making you didn’t think I loved you. I’m not the best with words so um I hope this comes out right. When I met you, I felt like I finally found my person, you loved my dry, snarky humor, weren’t easily fazed and most of all you never judged me. You made me feel accepted, loved and I could never ask for anything more. I- I- spent the last week thinking about what you said and well you know what else now, I’m sure you can tell. Anyway, umm I want to get married, I want cute kids that look like you and have your cute laugh, I want it all, I’m sorry I didn’t make it seem that way, I just never thought you could want that with me but I panicked though I was beyond happy. I can’t propose to you now but I want to promise myself to you with these,” he held out his other hand with two rings; they were dino rings which made it even cuter. You couldn’t help but giggle as you wiped the tear with your other hand. “That’s if you still want me and we can play this song, Our Song at our wedding, in the car, for our kids, whenever you want if that’s still what you want,” he broke, tears slid down his cheeks.

 He was never one to cry, and when he did it was genuine. You shifted your body, your legs off the side of the bed, and him now kneeling in between them. You raised his slightly bowed head, holding his face and wiping the stray tears on his cheeks, “Kei, you’ve never made me feel lonely, I just over thought and you know kind of thought maybe you didn’t want to have kids or get married or the whole shebang. I’m not the most optimistic person so I immediately assumed the worst. This isn’t your fault I’m just a big idiot and I love you so much. So yes I want all those things with you and no one else.”  He laughed a bit, “Yep you’re an idiot but you’re my big idiot and I love you too, shorty hmmm shortcake,” he placed a gentle kiss against your lips and slips on the funny little ring.

“Hey you were supposed to say I’m not an idiot but what did I expect, shortcake though I like that,” You leaned in as he hummed in response against your lips. He is incessantly kissing you but a question crossed your mind and you stopped him, “What’s wrong y/n?” He questioned a bit worried. “How did you make that song by yourself? Not to mention your voice is amazing babe. You should consider music as a career you know,” you looked waiting for a response. “Well you see, I had some of the lyrics written about half a year ago and what you said made me finish em. You made me really happy but also nervous and I was scared to mess up so I panicked. I thought maybe if I had finished the song I could get my feelings across so I met up with someone I knew from my time in high school and he helped me out. Semi Eita, the musician he helped me with the tune and the music in the background. I took a bit longer mainly because I needed it to be perfect and I was nervous.  So yeah but I’m gonna be a pro volleyball player babe, I didn’t know my voice was good until Semi suggested I sing it myself.”

“Wait like the Semi Eita,” your eyes sparkled, you loved his music, “You never told me you knew him. Wait sorry I’m off-topic, the song was perfect and you wrote these that long who knew you could be so romantic?” He looked at you slightly frowning, “Hey! I can be romantic ok. You try to top that. Humph!  I’m glad you like the song though. Oh also I’ll introduce you next week to Semi he’s been curious, something about someone who can handle the Tsukishima Kei. I don’t know what he’s talking about.” You jumped up, “I can’t wait. Yayyyy. Oh wait before I forget I didn’t wrap your gift but it’s over there, I kind of got necklaces, they match the rings.” You twirl around excitedly when suddenly he grabs you by the waist, “Well since your feeling so much better, maybe you can give me another gift,” he pulls you down to straddle his lap on the bed instantly attaching his lips to your neck.

You jokingly cough in his face and run as he chases you around the dorm shouting, “You damn pipsqueak when I catch you which you better hope I don’t, you’re so screwed.” He does eventually catch you but he drags you back to be for cuddles, kisses and a bit more. Needless to say, both of you did not attend classes tomorrow.

I always found it hard to be myself

But you made feel like no one else

A love like no other is what I really felt

So I’m in this in sickness and in health

So that’s what I thought the last verse could have been but I’m no song writer so I’m sorry if its horrible. On that note I hope you enjoyed the story. I encourage constructive criticism and I hope to see you again.

PS I am working on your requests I promise it’ll be here soon. 

If you liked my work, maybe you might want to buy me some coffee ☕️?

Question; Do you want what happened if Y/N decided not to be playful aka the NSFW?

#soft tsukishima #tsukishima #tsukishima aftercare #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x oc #hq yamaguchi #yamaguchi tadashi #tsukki #hq tsukki #gomen tsukki #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #tsukishima fanfiction #tsukishima fluff #kei tsukki #kei tsukishima #haikyuu #our song #semi x reader #semi eita #shirtoizawa #haikyuu fluf #y/n #kurasano #haikyuu tsukki #haikyuu tsukishima #Sar.writes

[nikmikaelsonswife]

Alaric’s in Love with You but Klaus Was Your One and Only

contains s5 TO spoilers that you’ve probably seen before since you’re on tumblr. set in legacies.

It started when Hope returned to Mystic Falls with you in tow, someone Alaric hadn’t seen in over a decade. You’d changed; physically and mentally. Your hair was darker and shorter, brushing your shoulders as well as your eyes had lost that pretty, dangerous sparkle. You were less extroverted, but that was understandable since you had gone through tremendous heart break.

It also didn’t help that you’d returned to a place that once was your home, the changes having a much heavier and worse effect on you than you had anticipated. You’d spent a great deal of time staring at the Stefan Salvatore Memorial plac, reliving the past, not even having the courage to enter the library.

The way you closed off was only half the reason Alaric and you hadn’t slipped back into old habits. The other was that frankly, it wasn’t easy for him to trust a Salvatore, much less a Mikaelson. You just so happened to be both; the woman who brought the two vampire families together. He didn’t see that as good in any way, shape or form.

He’d never had an issue with you, it was always your brothers, husband and his family stirring the pot and setting paths of destruction in their wake. It was rare for you to aid in it voluntarily, but at the end of the day, you were still a vampire. No matter how much you tried to avoid darkness and evil, you couldn’t hide from something that was apart of who you were.

But then again, he hadn’t seen you in so long. It was before you had officially moved to New Orleans, before you had truly began to cope with Stefan’s death and before you had helped in raising a child. Now you had gone through all of that, along with losing the love of your life and it didn’t take you opening up to him to notice that you weren’t the same person.

Out of nearly two centuries, the past decade had been the worst of your life as well as the best. You’d grown so much and Alaric couldn’t say that he didn’t like who you had become.

He was surprisingly able to set aside your supernatural nature enough to grow quite fond of you. With the help of the people around you, the distraction of being co-headmaster and weekly phone calls with Damon, you were able to break through the grief-stricken shell you’d built around yourself. It allowed Alaric to truly see you again.

At your core, you were still (Y/N), the woman he bantered with in the early morning hours in his office over take out that you had convinced him on buying. The woman who would shout, “YES,” when she’d crack a case all on her own, flashing him a breathtakingly gorgeous smile that made his heart flutter.

He could still pinpoint the day you took your wedding ring off on a calendar, stating that, “I can’t go on everyday with this reminder. I need to live my life.” He knew that was hard for you, since you had refused to take it off for a full two years following Klaus’ death. Perhaps, it meant something.

His brain would turn to mush every time you pulled him in for a hug after a particularly dangerous day, or when you’d catch him staring and give him a quizzical almost smug look. He had a hard time in controlling how his pulse would quicken up when near you, aware that if you listened for it, you’d hear it.

You were far from dumb, as well as the students attending the school. His daughters often gave him a look when they’d catch him acting weird and Hope had even cornered him asking if he had a thing for you with a threatening look on her face.

“I do not have a thing for Dr. Salvatore...”

“Salvatore-Mikaelson,” Hope corrected, arms crossed over her chest. She could see through his bullshit and both of them knew it.

“Look,” she sighed, “(Y/N) is like a mother to me. I’ve known her all my life. For your sake and for hers, I’m going to be completely honest. I doubt she’ll ever get over my dad.”

Sincerity shone in her eyes, a slight frown in her brow. “You didn’t get the chance to but I saw them together. Nothing could match up to what they had. They were soulmates. She doesn’t want anyone else.”

Alaric cleared his throat, briefly adverting his gaze to the floor. “I..I..” He stumbled over his words, unaware of what to say. Deep down, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. But he couldn’t let his façade drop.

“Have a good day, Hope.”

He’d sat down in his office to mull over her words, pulling a hand over his face every time he’d get too caught up in his thoughts.

If what Hope told him was the case, then what about the little flirtatious glances? Or the way you snuggled into him when you fell asleep in his office that one night?

A small smile tugged at his lips when he thought about how you had berated him after he went off on his own to fight a monster. You had been fuming, eyes watery, yelling about how he was only human and a selfish jackass to not think about all the people who cared about him.

How you cared about him.

He hadn’t felt the way he did since Jo died, not even for Caroline, and it was one he had missed. One he’d been harboring for months and he felt like it was time to confess. If his feelings were requited, he couldn’t imagine a better future than that, a better feeling than that. It was all he was focused on when he said those three little words.

“I..I like you. A lot.”

It was one night when the two of you had gotten a little carried away with the liquor stored underneath your desk. You were snuggled up against him on the couch, but thought nothing of it. Unlike Alaric.

Brows furrowing, it took you a moment to register his words due to the sleepy haze and the alcohol coursing through your system. And when you did, the tension alleviated from your shoulders before you lightly punched him in his. “I like you too. A lot.”

He shook his head, throwing caution and anxiety to the wind before he clarified. “(Y/N), I’m in love with you.”

His eyes were closed so he couldn’t see the way you froze. “I have been for a while. You’re sweet, loving, unbelievably beautiful and an amazing friend. Being co-headmaster with you, seeing you with everyone...I couldn’t help but imagine a life with you by my side officially.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” his eyes fluttered open, which is when he noticed that you had moved away. His heart dropped at that. “I don’t want you to feel pressured...”

“Alaric.” You interjected, fingers toying with the N necklace dangling from your neck; the necklace that was always hidden underneath your shirt, which Alaric hadn’t noticed you still wore until now.

And that combined with the melancholy expression on your face made his stomach churn in fear and realization. He’d made a huge mistake.

Inhaling deeply, you contemplated on what to say. “I like you, Alaric.” His eyebrows raised, hope glistening in his gaze but you quickly shot that down. “But this can’t happen.”

His gaze softened as you stood up from the couch. “It’s not fair to you. I can’t be that woman for you, for Lizzie and Josie.”

“I’m not expecting anything from you...”

“Apparently you are since you told me that you’re in love with me!” Both of you were shocked by your outburst and you quickly apologized, “I’m sorry. I’m overwhelmed.”

A moment of tense silence ensued as you stared at the ground, hyperaware of his gaze on your face. “Klaus was different.” You suddenly spoke, bottom lip quivering as the feelings you had buried resurfaced, “I thought I was going to spend eternity with him.”

“I understand that.” He leaned forward, “I felt the same when Jo died. And it took me a while to move on. I can wait.”

You lifted your gaze to lock it with his. “I wouldn’t ever ask that of you.”

“You’re not asking, I’m just stating. I understand if you need time.” Tears began to gather on your lashes, fingers threading through your hair as you sighed. He was making it more difficult than it already was. You didn’t want to break his heart.

“I still cry in the shower, Al! And when I’m not crying, I’m talking to my dead husband!” Your eyes were wide, voice loud and shaking as you stifled your cries. “I continue to dwell on the past. I dream about him every night. Hell, I even write in a journal about him.”

“After almost three years, I’m still mourning as if I lost him yesterday. And I know for a fact that it will always be like that.”

He stood up at that, his face contorted into a incredulous expression. “But what about the looks you give me? Or the cuddling? You can’t tell me that didn’t mean anything.”

“That’s how I’ve always reacted when a man was interested in me! I thought it was a short term thing or that you wanted to get in bed with me. But just that.”

“It’s not just that. I love you.”

Your heart broke even further at how those words made your stomach churn. “Please. Don’t.” Hatred boiled in your chest as you were upset with him. Upset that he’d ruined a strong bond that took years to build, that you wouldn’t be able to find comfort in your friendship anymore.

“Klaus will always be the man my heart belongs to. He was my one and only. He was my soulmate.”

“You have to stay here and take care of Hope.” He swiped his thumb across your wet skin, “Don’t worry, my love, I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”

The word echoed in his head, a memory of his conversation with Hope crossing his mind. Soulmate. “(Y/N)...”

“I’m sorry, Alaric.” He internally grimaced at the absence of his nickname and he found himself wondering if the relationship he had with you would ever be the same. Found himself acknowledging that he, in fact, ruined it.

It made him angry as well. He needed you just as much as you needed him.

Your fingers wrapped around the doorknob, “You deserve someone special, Alaric. That someone just can’t be me.”

#i don’t know why i wrote this #i was just watching legacies and got the idea #i was mourning klaus don’t judge me lmfao #klaus mikaelson #alaric saltzman #klaus mikaelson x reader #the vampire diaries #the originals #legacies

[rjhpandapaws]

I Will Always Love You

Ch 1: You Won't be Alone This Time

Names/Translations:

Hank: Sealgair, Hennek

Connor: Curiosity, Feorachas

//TW: Death, memories of death, unrequited love

Curiosity wasn’t ready to see him again. That wasn’t to say that he hadn’t been happy to. He just hadn’t been ready. Curiosity had just gotten used to the idea of him being gone; and then there he was, like he had never even left. In another place and time as seemed to be mostly customary of these things, but he largely looked the same. Just like before his vibrant blue eyes were what drew curiosity in all over again, as it seemed he had not learned his lesson. Curiosity tried to stay away, but as they would eventually come to say: Curiosity killed the cat. He couldn’t stay away, not when Hennek looked at the world with so much wonder, the desire to know it in ways that books simply could not provide. Curiosity couldn’t ignore that, he had a hard time keeping his distance from overly curious humans as it was; but even then, with Hennek it was different. It felt like something bigger than the both of them, like Fate had written that wherever Hennek went Curiosity was to dutifully follow. It was an odd feeling, to think that as a being of Fate himself that his actions would seem so prewritten.

Like the predetermined beings he helped govern over, he gave into the pull and followed Hennek. By this point humans were trying to determine or create a god for themselves. Why; Curiosity could only guess. He would assume it was to help them understand the things he and Wisdom hadn’t yet shown them the answers to. The Beginning had told him to leave it alone, so for now he planned to. Hennek didn’t practice this newfound faith, but he was curious about it. Curiosity hadn’t given himself a form yet, he was only watching for now; just like last time he supposed. Perhaps Hennek - Sealgair in this life - would be better off like this; if he didn’t interfere. Sealgair was always alone; not truly though, since Curiosity lingered; but there were never any people with him. Solitary, he supposed would be the word to describe him, he wasn’t lonely. He seemed content to watch those around him rather than participate. Curiosity could understand that, humans were incredibly fascinating. HIs favorite creatures honestly, but they were not meant to be alone. That was what worried him. Sealgair made no moves to even be social, he was always on his own.

Curiosity started snooping, it couldn’t be helped really. He was the embodiment of curiosity; but moreover there had to be a reason. He had found Sealgair well into adulthood, there had to be something he had missed. Something he hadn’t gotten to see. There were always answers to these sorts of things, it was only a matter of digging for them. It took him months, closer to a year if he was honest, to start finding the answers he wanted. They were well hidden. Whatever had happened. Sealgair didn’t want anyone to know. Curiosity wasn’t a person so that was fine. Sure, he took his human form to interact with things, but that was more because as a mere presence he couldn’t open books. It was the principle of the matter. Sealgair had a family once, a wife and a little boy. The thought that Sealgair had loved someone else had stung, but it wasn’t like he had been there. According to the journals, he would dare to call them diaries he found hidden away, the relationship had crumbled rather quickly. Their child had been born ill and hadn’t made this fourth year. That was the start, the end of things had been Sealgair’s drams and ramblings.

Sealgair remembered having been Hennek, and him in a sense. He had vivid recall of the last  moments of his first life, down to Curiosity’s own presence, so he was aware that something was amiss. It was the rambling though; Sealgair trying to explain himself; that drove his wife away at long last. That was when Sealgair had made the choice to be alone. To observe. To try and find other like him. One of the journals went into detail of how Hennek had died. He was following someone that he had believed to be Curiosity, but he could never get close enough to get a good look. Every time he had called out Curiosity had only run faster. Of course; it hadn’t been him because he had been waiting for Hennek to return. Which made it one of three things; and age induced hallucination, Death dressed as him as she was known to do, or Balance luring him to his end. To where Death had been waiting. For the first time Curiosity cursed his own nature, he wished he had never learned any of this. He burnt the book as he held it, and it had taken a lot of his concentration to manifest his hurt and rage as a flame, but he wanted the book gone. Destroyed. When he looked up again Sealgair was standing in the doorway. His expression was an odd mix of recognition, fear, and awe; perhaps even anger for a moment.

“Its you.” Sealgair breathed, “I’ve seen you in my dreams. Beside me on that cliff. Why did you let me fall?” Curiosity was still processing the fact that he had been caught. He was certain he hadn’t been making that much noise, Sealgair wasn’t a light sleeper as it was. So Curiosity wondered what it was that had woken him. “Answer me Feorachas!” There was the anger from before. It rumbled in his voice and sharpened his eyes. “Why?” He pleaded, “Why did you kill me?” “That wasn’t - I didn’t... It wasn’t me.” He tried to explain, but the words caught in his throat, “I can show you that day from my perspective if you would like.” He tried to collect himself, but when the hurt persisted he decided that it wasn’t worth the effort, “I love you - loved - you. I wouldn’t have done that to you, even if The Beginning had threatened me with the end of the world.” He pleaded next, “Hennek, I need you to understand that. Please.” He wasn’t sure when he had reached out, or when he had started crying for that matter; but when Sealgair took his hand the memory took over. The sensation was a bit like free falling, and Curiosity was certain this was against all kinds of rules. He needed to do this though; Sealgair deserved to know.

Reliving that dat was not something that Curiosity was emotionally ready for. He had avoided thinking about this one day for centuries, so having to actively do so was difficult. Sealgair deserved to know; to understand. Curiosity would never hurt him, not then and not now. That was why he had tried to stay away. He watched Sealgair as he watched the memory. Observed as the emotions washed over him one by one in the same way they had done to him. Watched as he heard the words that version of Curiosity had said to him. The sight of his old body, even in that state, didn’t seem to bother him. He had long since come to terms with that death. What seemed to shake him bout it had been Curiosity’s reaction to finding him. When they were back to the present, to the real world as it were,  Sealgair stared back at him. “Who was it then?” He asked with a note of desperation to his voice, “Who was it that lead me to my death?” “I don’t know.” Curiosity replied with defeat in his own voice, “You were unwell so it could have been that, or my brother, or his... compatriot. There is enough that I don’t know and I can’t give you an answer. I’m sorry. I would like to know as well, who and moreover why. But that was an old life. It shouldn’t keep you from living this one Sealgair. Let go of it. I am with you now.” He squeezed Sealgair’s hand, “You aren’t alone this time.”

Curiosity stayed after that. Sealgair could use the company. There was no love this time, not from Sealgair; he was busy processing. So curiosity loved him privately. The village judged them harshly and Sealgair remained an outsider. If anything, Curiosity’s sudden presence might have made him more of one. Curiosity was lonely in his company, but he stayed. Sealgair deserved to no longer be alone. They were friends at the very least, and Curiosity helped when he could with what Sealgair allowed him to. Sealgair kept his distance and Curiosity got good at pretending that it didn’t hurt. He couldn’t blame him though, learning the things he had was probably unsettling. Humans weren’t meant to deal with their own mortality, and Curiosity probably should have been gentler in unloading it on him. Sealgair got to see old age, but farm work soon became too much for him. So Curiosity took over, he had learned how to do these jobs from observing Sealgair. Curiosity had aged only in appearance so he could handle the jobs just fine. He helped take care of Sealgair in the evenings, though Sealgair fought him the entire way. It was a matter of trust, the first time he had given Curiosity any form of faith he had died. Curiosity of course didn’t blame him. Even if he wished Sealgair would be a little less stubborn about it, but that wasn’t in his nature. Sealgair was many things, and stubborn was the first of them.

The years came on and eventually Sealgair was no longer aware of himself. He was kinder to Curiosity now, but it was brought out of not recognizing him and that hurt more than the distance ever had. Curiosity had retired the farm some years ago, he looked far too old to be doing that kind of work. All of his time was now spent with Sealgair. He was asleep more often than he was awake now, and Curiosity spent a lot of that time running his fingers through Sealgair’s age whitened hair. With all of the time he now spent with Sealgair, he was there when he died. It was a peaceful affair this time. She came for him in his sleep, a rattling exhale and then nothing. Curiosity had been ready to let him go this time so there wasn’t as much pain. He had kept his promise, though Sealgair had not made it easy to. He saw to it that Sealgair was properly buried then vanished. He hoped Sealgair might love him again in the next life. For now though, he had questions for Balance, and he would be getting his answers if Balance gave them to him or if Death did.

#In All Your Forms AU #IAYF #I Will Always Love You #IWALY #Hankcon #dbh Hank #dbh Connor #death and reincarnation #child death #unrequited love #tw death #dbh fic #dbh

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Just A Taste

Characters: Spencer Reid x reader, minor characters

Word Count: 2,925

Warnings: talk of men abusing their female partners (very implicitly), smut, oral (female recieving), fingering, a bit of dom!spencer

request by @theitcaramelchick​: Okay but imagine Reid interrogating a suspect and you, an assistant at the BAU office, happen to hear how domineering he is with them and you get all hot and bothered? Jesus. 🥵 And the way he would make the suspect tell him stuff. ...Could you do a one shot with this?

Summary: You assist Spencer with an interrogation despite having no experience with it all. Turns out, there is a reason why Spencer chose you, and it’s not all for work.

Squares Filled: office sex for @cmkinkbingo // free space for @cmbingo​

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! this is unbeta’d and every mistake is all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

For the first time in… ever… you’re going to assist the one and only Dr. Spencer Reid in an interrogation room with a real criminal. You’re only an office assistant, but they wanted you to be in there with him. You know nothing about how to talk to criminals or where to even begin, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer. You don’t even know what you would do in this interview, but you’re not going to question it. This is your chance to prove you belong with the rest of the BAU.

Your dream is to be a profiler that catches bad guys. If you can see how they think during this interrogation, then maybe you can start to work on your own profile. While you’re very nervous to be in this interrogation room, you’re more worried to be in that room with Spencer. It’s not that you’re worried for how bad you might be in front of him, you’re afraid he will figure out your feelings for him. He’s the most talked BAU agent on your floor. He’s so smart, innovated, talented, and very handsome.

His brown eyes can be so soft and caring, but can also turn hard and threatening in a moment’s notice. How he hasn’t landed himself a girlfriend yet is beyond you, but you’re glad he hasn’t. Him being available makes you less guilty for the thoughts you have about him. He’s tall, lean, has curly hair that you really want to tug, and he has a habit of biting and licking those damn lips. He’s definitely been the center of far too many fantasies you relive over and over again.

Your office is one floor below the BAU team. You’re best behind a computer, but you’re trying hard to prove yourself worthy enough to be a profiler. Because you’re great with a computer, your best friend is Penelope. When the team is away, you like to go to her office and hang with her when she’s not assisting her team. You use her to gather intel on the rest of the team, and you’ve learned the following details:

Rossi loves to drink. He has a very impressive collection of old alcohol that he doesn’t really use all that often, but always loves to show off. Hotch loves his son, and would do just about anything for him. One year, Jack dressed up as his father for Halloween. You thought that was the best thing ever. While Emily isn’t on the team anymore, Penlelope does talk about how brave and selfless she is. She’s saved the other teammates in more ways than one.

JJ has been through so much; not only as a mother but as an agent. She’s suffered the most, but she works the hardest. Derek is the muscle of the team, and Penelope has said some raunchy stuff that you’d rather not repeat. Last, but certainly not least, Spencer. He’s had a kind of serious girlfriend, Maeve, but she ended up dying right in front of him. He’s been through a lot as well, but he won’t ever give up on helping people. He’s really great with kids, and he is definitely husband material. Even Penelope is surprised how Spencer hasn’t settled down by now.

Fine by you, as long as you get a piece of him at some point.

It’s hard to put yourself out there for a man like him because if he somehow rejected you, then you won’t be able to recover from that. You don’t want to be one of those women who centers her world around some guy, but Spencer is just so special that you wouldn’t bounce back by a rejection from him. You’ve voiced your thoughts and opinions to Penelope, and as far as you know, she’s kept all those opinions to herself.

Now you have to work with the guy you are already nervous to be around. No one told you why they wanted you in there with him, but it’s not like you’re going to complain. You head up to the floor above you where Spencer is waiting for you. Once he sees you, he heads over to you. Your heart pounds just a bit faster, and your breath comes out a bit shakier. You try to keep your complexion the same color, but you know you’ve revealed how pink they are.

“Are you okay? Do you need a minute?” he asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Your cheeks are flushed. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m just a bit nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t know why I’m even here,” you chuckle nervously.

“You’re going to be fine. I promise.”

“Why am I here, Spencer?”

“I asked for you.”

He leaves your side without another word, and you follow him to the interrogation room. The unsub they caught, Frank Bishop, sits inside the room silently. From what you’ve heard about this guy, he’s killed half a dozen men. The BAU doesn’t know where he’s buried them, and they have to get him to confess to their murders as well as their locations. You’ve seen some terrible people, but he is on your radar.

First and foremost, this man is accused of killing men who were physically and emotionally abusive towards their wives or girlfriends. He sees himself as some sort of God or savoir in the eyes of these women. Not that you agree with his method, but these women aren’t suffering anymore. You’re actually nervous to talk to a man like him because of the person you are.

Yes, you’re a submissive. Everyone who meets you knows this. You don’t broadcast it, but it’s all in the way you present yourself. You’re also showing signs of nervousness, you rarely say no to people in fear of what they would do to you if you did, and all your friends are dominants. They just embrace life and want you to do the same. You’ve done some stupid shit in your day because of them, but your life wouldn’t be what it is now if you didn’t have them in your life.

Spencer gives you one last look before entering the room. Frank’s head pops up, and he straightens when he sees you. He must have seen the way you’re presenting yourself because he can’t take his eyes off you.

“Don’t look at her, look at me. Tell me where you buried those five men,” Spencer demands.

Seeing him like this is putting you back into your late night fantasies. One thing you never considered is the way he is with hardened criminals. He can get so threatening that sends a heat sparking up your core. You push your thighs together to relieve some tension, and you cross your arms loosely.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What five men?” he asks and smiles at you.

The way he smiles makes you nervous, and you begin to bounce your leg aimlessly. Frank likes how nervous you are, so you try to keep it under control.

"Don't waste my time here. Where are they?" Spencer asks again.

The man doesn't answer. All he does is stare at you. Your leg bounces faster so that's the only thing you can hear besides the ticking of the clock in the room.

"Stop bouncing your leg," Spencer demands.

He puts his hand on your thigh to stop you himself and that doesn't go unnoticed by Frank. You immediately stop what you're doing and look at Spencer with wide eyes. Once he knows you won't do it again, he takes his hand away.

You wish he hadn't.

"We know you stalked and killed men who abused their partners. They'd be somewhere where you can visit and continue their humiliation. You wouldn't want a proper burial for them, would you?"

"I didn't kill anyone else besides Jack Harmer."

"Yeah, that's because we caught you in the act. We know you did it. We found traces of your DNA in their houses."

"Doesn't mean I killed them."

The tension in the room thickens, and you feel trapped. You can't go anywhere, you haven't said a single word since you got here, and all Frank has done is stare at you. You'd leave, but you're afraid Spencer is just going to yell at you. You knew he wouldn't, but your anxiety doesn't know that. Because you feel trapped, you result in biting your nails. It's one of the things you do when you don't know what to do. However, as soon as you put your thumb between your teeth, Spencer swats your hand away.

"Don't bite your nails," he orders.

Why is he being like this? He is never this aggressive towards people—or that's what Penelope told you.

"Why don't you let her do what she wants?" Frank asks.

"Is that what you told Jason Hurley, Jared Bush, Harold Jenkins, Bailey Pickett, and Cody Campbell?"

"Who?" Frank smirks.

You shrink back into your seat because this interrogation can literally take a number of turns. Spencer looks at you with fire in his eyes, and you actually became scared at the thought of what he might do to you.

"Sit up straight. We're in a goddamn interrogation. If you can't handle that, then why are you even here?" he snaps.

Okay, you have no idea why he's treating you like this. Is it all for show, or does he really think he can boss you around like that? Of course, you're not going to say anything to him about it, but that doesn't mean you won't complain to Penny about this.

"Leave her alone! Who do you think you are treating her that way? Jason, Jared, and Harold all thought they could get away with treating their women like that. It's why I threw their bodies in the lake behind my house. Now, don't get me started on Bailey and Cody." Frank blew up.

He confessed to all five murders including revealing where their bodies were located. It wasn't long before you were able to leave. However, you didn't get very far because Spencer was pulling you into the nearest empty office.

"Look, I'm sorry for how I treated you there. Frank looked for men who "bossed" their partners around. I figured if I did that to you, he would reveal where he hid those bodies."

You knew Spencer was one of the good ones.

"You could have just told me. I would have played along."

"Your reaction needed to be real. I chose you because I know you're a submissive. I needed all of it to be real."

"How did you know that?"

"Besides how you acted today... Penelope told me."

"She what?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Though, that's the other reason why I picked you."

"Which is?"

You meant to say that accusingly, but it came out in a breathy whisper.

"You're attracted to me. I need that attraction to be real," he reveals. You want to deny it, but your brain just isn't cooperating. So, he continues when he sees you wanting to deny it. "I knew it was true when you came up this morning. I asked you if you were okay because your cheeks were pink. They were like that because of me. I'm sure your heart started pumping as well. The next sign was in the interrogation room. You were rubbing your thighs together because of me. Should I continue?"

Goddamn, the man really knew how to sweet talk you. You could deny it, but what would the point be? He already knows your feelings. The other option is to come clean and hope he doesn't reject you.

"What are you going to do if what you said is true?” you wonder.

He takes three large steps toward you, and you, purely out of intimidation, take five much smaller steps back. Your back hits the wall next to the door, and you realize you trapped yourself. He places one hand on the wall next to yours and with the other, he locks the office. He leans down so that his mouth is right next to your ear.

"If it were true, I'd get down on my knees, yank that unbelievably tight skirt down your legs, and bury my tongue in you," he whispers.

Shit. Did he really just say that to you? Your panties are so wet right now, and it's all because of the man right in front of you.

"Hmm? Would you like that?" he asks as he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear. You can't help but nod slightly. He's taken your ability to talk. "That's my girl."

You could have come right there, but you really want to know what his tongue feels like inside you. He presses his lips on your neck and gives a few kisses. He has you exactly where he wants you. You are his and he knows it.

"Remember, we are at work. Be a good girl and don't make a sound," he whispers before dropping to his knees.

Holy shit, this is exactly what you pictured in your fantasies. Now, you're getting the real thing. His hands grip your waist, digging his fingers into your skin. You know bruises are going to show up even through the couple layers of clothing. He gives you a questioning look as if to ask if this is alright. You just nod once, and he gets to work.

He slides down both your skirt and panties until they are on the floor. He keeps your heels on, and you make a mental note that he likes heels. He rests one leg over his shoulder, and he presses light kisses to your inner thighs. It didn't occur to you that you're exposing yourself to him for the first time. He has an eidetic memory. If this whole thing doesn't work out, he will have the look, taste, and feel of you embedded into his mind.

The smell of you messes with his mind, and he knows he has to get a taste of you. He gives one kiss to your clit, and you do your best to keep that moan in. Whenever you had sex, it’s always a challenge to stay quiet. You did it, but it always came at a cost. Spencer loves it when a girl moans for him, but not at work where his coworkers and bosses are.

Too much time has passed since he first got a whiff of you. Maybe he can take his time later, but for right now, all he wants is to make you come. From the bottom to the top, he licks one thick stripe up your center. When he sees you dripping with anticipation, he shoves his unbelievably long tongue inside you. You bite your lower lip to keep yourself from screaming out. Spencer looks up through his lashes and swipes his tongue from one wall to the other. The way he's looking at you makes you clench around his wet muscle. You have to get your tension out somehow.

There is finally an opportunity for you to satisfy one of your urges. You reach down and grab a fistful of his curly hair. You tug, and he moans. The vibration sends ripples through your body, and you give another hard tug. Your head bangs against the wall behind you, but you're too caught up in the moment to care.

He grunts when you give another yank. You file that piece of information in the same place as the heels. He pulls away only to suction his lips around your clit. He doesn't want you to feel empty, so he slides in two very long fingers.

“Shit! Spencer!” you hiss.

That response only makes him suck harder. You tighten around his fingers, making it almost impossible for him to remove them. He keeps his fingers right where they are and wiggles them so that he's hitting places not even you knew you had.

"I'm close! Fuck!"

Without going too hard, he nibbles on your clit with his teeth. The stimulation, combined with what his fingers are doing, is enough to push you over the edge. Your orgasm washes over you just as your come spills over his fingers. He pulls away and sticks them in his mouth. He sucks your juices from them before diving in once more. You're very sensitive from the first orgasm, so you twitch away from him. However, he grips your hips to hold you in place. He licks you clean until there is no more evidence lingering.

Once he finishes, he sets your leg down and redresses you. Your legs are wobbly, but you're doing a good job at keeping yourself up. He pushes your hair back to expose your ear, and he leans down to whisper in it.

"I never knew you tasted so sweet. I'm going to have a hard time focusing on work now that I got a taste. Be a good girl for the rest of the day, and I’ll show you what else I'm good for."

He presses a kiss to the side of your neck before leaving the office. Did that really just happen? How can you get through the rest of the day when you've experienced how well he can work his tongue? Plus, you also won't be able to stop thinking of his proposition. If he's that good with just his mouth. What else will he be good at?

wanna be tagged? add yourself to this document! if your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

@adlerorzel-blog​ @kendall-michele​ @megsyrae​ @bitchwhytho​ @kt-bug3​ @broimjustvibin​ @practicallylivesonline​ @cynbx​ @cobrakai1967​ @reid-187​ @mbmrocks​ @idkbutspencer​ @yellowbadgergirl @onceuponthenightmares​ @yeet-the-nugget​ @izzythefanfreak​ @very-lonely-august​ @sammy-jo1977​ @nomajdetective​ @skarsgardandredmayne​ @neutralwiener​ @miraclesoflove​ @skylarraker @theitcaramelchick​ @whatspunispun​ @countrygal17a​

#cmkinkbingo #cmbingo #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid fan fic #spencer reid fiction #spencer reid fic #reid x reader #reid fanfic #reid fanfiction #reid smut #reid fic #reid fiction #reid fan fiction #reid fan fict #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fiction #criminal minds fan fiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fan fic #criminal minds smut #cm #cm fic #cm fiction

[selfless1978]

SURRENDER

She hit the ground hard, grunting on the impact. Vicky found herself in the undignified position of lying on the ground, her eyes clenched shut against the pain of her sore ribs. Her arm wrapped around her throbbing ribs as she ignored the rest of her more minor injuries.

“This is her?” Came the unseen woman’s voice. A voice that couldn’t, or wouldn’t, hide the amusement in it. Quite the opposite, the owner made it very clear that she was not impressed with what she saw on the ground in front of her. Vicky felt the nudge of a booted toe against her side, igniting a flare of pain.  

“Yes, Mistress.” Came the answer from one of the thugs who had drug her in.

“Pathetic. Leonardo shames himself by associating with her. She makes such an easy target to get his attention with.”

Leo....

At the mention of that name Vicky’s eyes snapped open again. Unseen to those around her, a fire began to light up in those deep brown orbs. A fire she never thought she’d need again. One she hadn’t felt since the first time her life was in dire peril. 

There's so much life I've left to live, And this fire is burning still

She didn’t know how long she had lain there, being taunted and occasionally kicked. But it hadn’t been a long amount of time. Vicky just remained quiet at the torment. For now. Instead she tried to focus on her situation. It seemed that they were in a large lot of some kind. She could smell the scent of dirty sea water and there seemed to be warehouses and buildings surrounding them. 

The docks, they had to be at the docks. Okay, one question down, only fifty million more to go. Vicky tried to sit up, and was instantly kicked back to the ground again by this damned woman.

“Stay down. Crawl on the ground where you belong.”

There was harsh laughter from those around her. Laughter that silenced abruptly. Even hurting and struggling to focus, Vicky clearly felt the sudden tension in the air. She raised her eyes to find the reason why.

Leo had just landed. As her eyes looked up he was already righting himself from the crouch he had landed in, and his glorious blue eyes met her brown ones. His expression neutral, but those blue eyes held anger, fear and something more. Hers held the relief of seeing him. Even in this dire situation her heart lifted. Leo... He had come. 

“You actually came for this worthless thing?” The woman laughed.

He remained quiet, but his eyes shifted to her and his anger flared in those icy orbs.

He had come for her....

When I watch you look at me, I think I could find the will. 

“Let her go.” His tone was low. It sent shivers down Vicky’s spine. It was a side of him she hadn’t ever seen before. That tone promised untold violence as he strode closer. His steps filled with a purpose as he  strode closer. In an instant a katana was in his hand and the threat of violence breaking out was heavy as those around her pulled out theirs.

Suddenly, a blade was held at her own throat by this bitch. “Stay where you are Leonardo, or I’ll spill her blood all over the concrete.” 

He froze, fury in his expression as she gloated at him. 

“So easy to control you now. You waste your time with this useless sack of flesh.”

To stand for every dream, and forsake this solid ground

And give up this fear within, of what would happen if they ever knew

Vicky glared up at her captor. This cunt was using her. Using her to get to him! She began to tremble in her rage. She was being used as a god damned pawn. Again! And this time against someone she was...

I'm in love with you

...falling deeply in love with.

Anger filled her even more. Starting to drown out the pain from her bruised ribs and numerous smaller injuries. It pumped adrenaline in her veins and she clearly felt her body readying itself for something she didn’t know yet. For once, she was clearly facing her feelings. And getting ready to fight clearly for them. She was surrendering. Not to this woman, but...to him.

'Cause I'd surrender everything, To feel the chance to live again

I reach to you, I know you can feel it too

Her eyes flipped back to his from her prone position on the ground. His expression was helpless as he met her gaze. His hand tightening on the hilt of his weapon. Vicky’s own eyes held an apology that she had let herself be caught. To be used to draw him into this situation. She had never wanted this. Vicky wanted him to be happy, to be free of responsibilities when he was with her. She wanted to be his place to escape the shit he had to deal with. Not to be a cause of torment.

We'd make it through. 

No. She wouldn’t fall into that trap. The fault was not hers, nor was it Leo’s. It was this nameless woman’s. She was the one trying to use her against him. The one who was trying to tear something apart Vicky was beginning to understand that she wanted, needed. 

“You go to far, Karai.”

“I’ve not gone far enough. She still lives, for now.”

A thousand dreams I still believe, I'd make you give them all to me. 

I'd hold you in my arms and never let go

It wasn’t enough. She didn’t want to just live. She wanted to live with him. To spend every waking moment by his side. Regardless if it was lying next to him in his bed, or fighting by his side. Vicky was reliving every moment she had spent with him. Every moment of laughter, of tenderness. Moments where she began to feel she had found a purpose in her life again where it had been so cold and empty before. She didn’t want to just be someone in his life, she wanted to share his life. 

Vicky knew there was more to this turtle than goofy oreo dipping moments and silly jokes and gentle teasing. He was a warrior. He was a fighter. He defended those who couldn’t defend themselves. He stood for the downtrodden. He stood against tyrants like this woman. A woman who had a very distant set of morals.

The woman pushed away her pain even more. Finding something that had been buried deep down inside of her. She had lost hope over the years that there was nothing left for her to fight for. But now, memories of a time before she met him came to the forefront of her mind. She had been a soldier. She had face tyrants before. She had faced death before. And so had he. 

With him, she could find that place in this world she had tried to find when she joined the army. When she left, she had been disillusioned. Now, he was relighting that fire. 

In mere moments she went from living under her hopeless views to knowing that with him she could make that difference she had wanted to make since Amy died....if she surrendered to him completely.

I surrender

Her life still was in danger. That blade inches from her neck as the stand off continued. Vicky didn’t know what exactly Karai wanted from Leo. And at this point she didn’t care. All she knew was that she had made up her mind in whose hands she actually wanted to place her life. And it wasn’t this bitch.

I know I can't survive, another night away from you

She owed him so much he would never know. He taught her how to trust again, to enjoy her life. A life that was so much better now with him in it. No, she would not lay here and be the cause of his downfall.

You're the reason I go on, and now I need to live the truth

Right now, there's no better time. From this fear I will break free

She had been so scared at first. Not knowing what was going on. Not knowing what she should, or could, do. She had been at a disadvantage, now she studied Karai very closely as she exchanged words with Leo. 

Leo....

Her eyes met his again. This time free of the confusion and full of determination. His own eyes widened slightly, as if he could read her thoughts. Then, he smiled lightly and nodded. He was ready.

He knew more than Karai would ever know. And Vicky now had a reason to end her cowering on the ground. She had him. 

And I'll live again with love. And no they can't take that away from me

And Vicky refused to let Karai rip them apart.

And they will see

Kara was about to find out who she was actually surrendering to....and it wasn’t to this black clad tramp. Vicky’s fighting spirit came awake with a vengeance.

'Cause I'd surrender everything, to feel the chance to live again

I reach to you, I know you can feel it too

With a speed fueled by adrenaline, Vicky slapped the blade away from her throat and spun her body on the ground just enough to kick Karai’s feet out from underneath her. The caught off guard woman hit the ground on her back next to Vicky, and she wasted no time to crawl onto of the woman and began to pummel her. Vicky’s face was twisted in a furious snarl as Karai regained her senses. The two of them rolled around on the ground like two bar room brawlers, Vicky knowing that if this woman got to her feet she would easily outmatch Vicky with her martial arts skills. The brunette simply refused to let her back to her feet as she dished out punches.

We'd make it through

In her peripheral, she could tell that all hell broke loose. These strange soldiers had moved in to try and pull this feisty woman off of their leader, but was met with a swift moving blur of green as Leo joined the fray. His blades flashing in the light as he swung them around with practiced ease of years of training and fighting. Even as she kept on Karai, Vicky had to marvel at his strength and speed. His fighting was so smooth it seemed like a dance. A deadly one, but beautiful to watch. 

A thousand dreams I still believe, I'd make you give them all to me

I'd hold you in my arms and never let go

Vicky had finally managed to daze Karai enough to where she could roll off. Finding a weapon on the ground, thanks to Leo disarming one of these goons, she picked up the sword, not really knowing how to use the silly thing. It didn’t stop her. She used the none sharp edge like a club and smashed her way to him. She had to get to him. Once she was with him, they could find a way out. She would trust herself to his more than capable arms. Arms she wanted so much to surrender herself in.

I surrender

It seemed that the fight went on for hours, even if it had only been a few moments. Her arms were rapidly beginning to tire. Her momentum beginning to slow.

Every night's getting longer

But she refused to give in. Now stumbling towards him in exhaustion. Nothing else mattered than reaching him.

And this fire is getting stronger, babe

And he saw her coming. He saw how much she was struggling to just stay on her feet at this point, and yet she refused to give in.

I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive, can't you hear my call

“Leo!”

I surrender all

With a last push, she stumbled towards him. He quickly sheathed one of his swords and supported her as she fell against him. Giving all her trust and faith to him. His arm wrapped around even as he fought on. Somehow keeping them all at bay while keeping her shielded.

Then, finally, he broke free and scooped her up in his arms and ran. His swift strides quickly outpacing their pursuers before he went up to the rooftops and took a route they could not follow easily.

Right here, right now, I’d give my life to live again

I’ll break free, take me. My everything, I surrender all to you

She melted in his grip. Trusting him with her very life. The final surrender as she accepted that he would do anything for her, and she would do the same for him. She gave up her long fight of trying to live this life on her own. He was now a part of her, heart and soul.

Right here, right now. I’d give my life to live again

I’ll break free, take me. My everything, I surrender all to you

She surrendered to her love. Her love for him.

@bushido-in-blue

@the-second-circle-of-shell

And here is your first introduction to me writing a song inspired story. Doesn’t have to be canon with us. I just get these spontaneous story ideas when I hear songs. Thank you for letting me do this.

[mimiplaysgames]

A Powerful Enough Dream (Ch. 9)

Pairing: Terra/Aqua (eventually) Rating: T Word Count: 4,554

Summary: It is time to rescue Ven. Aqua steps into Castle Oblivion, not knowing what’s waiting inside.

Read on AO3

A/N: I wasn’t planning on publishing this one too soon - it just happened lolol. I do want to say that I’m sorry this chapter is so canon-divergent. I planned it before KH3 came out and I don’t have the time to rewrite everything. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

~*~*~*~*~

Oblivion, pt. 1

Stars shoot past Aqua in a melted blur. The faster she goes, the less she notices. Keyblade wielders should be humble. They should take their time to acknowledge and admire life, promised as students that their Light sturdies under such discipline. But screw it - she’s too excited to bother with the view.

All she has to do is listen. Once her heart connects to that place, her glider leads the rest of the way.

Sora and the others lag behind. Their gummi ship is impressive but it’s basically a tourist’s vessel, locked to the celestial highways that have to be traveled in full, unable to perform any of the warps her glider is capable of. At some point, she disappears from their radar, and she hovers in the middle of space to wait for them.

It shouldn’t take this long to get to Ven. They hold her back.

Aqua breathes heavily into her helmet, watching for signs of Sora’s bright red beast of a ship. The confines of her armor, absurdly enough, take some getting used to. She made it with her own hands, once a proud moment from her road to mastery. Yet it feels like she’s outgrown it. It’s heavy and tight, constricting the rise of her arms and the strides of her legs. It could be that she has gotten used to living without it. It could be that it doesn’t recognize her anymore.

That’s a terrifying thought. Aqua shakes it out of her head. It’s just because it’s been a long time since she’s worn it. That’s all.

Lightning snaps and cracks, and Sora’s gummi ship breaks through a barrier that tears a hole through space. Behind it is a mess of passageways marked by colored stars and dust. By normal standards, a passageway to the Land of Departure means he’d need to discover and unlock his way, but instead Sora has to blast through to catch up to her. There has to be some kind of transgression for it, but they’ve wasted enough time to think about collateral damage right now.

Her engine revs up and she soars, Sora trailing closely. She can’t feel the air through her armor as it darkens, but pressure mounts on her shoulders. Negative space squeezes her waist, her arms, her chest, threatening to collapse. It’s thickening. She’s getting close.

By the time she lands, there aren’t any more stars left to see.

Shedding her armor, Aqua breathes in humid air. Storm clouds smother the sky, but it doesn’t rain. Did it ever in the years she’s been gone? The dirt doesn’t thirst for anything, and the cliffs buckle with every step.

The castle (not home, something else) is ugly. Painted the color of stale excrement, it contorts in ways that can’t have been built by human hands. Towers stick out sideways and upside down, criss-crossed and layered where no staircases could practically fit inside. The castle suspends itself in the air by nothing except someone’s imagination.

There’s supposed to be grass underneath her shoes - or maybe stone tile leading to the terrace. Either of the two. Looking over the cliffside, she’s supposed to see rivers miles below, too far to hear their work. Now it’s just blackness. Morbid curiosity questions how long it would take for her to find new ground if she jumps off.

A couple of yards away was where Ven caught a grasshopper and claimed it as his own pet. He never expected he’d crush it by accident. He never expected he’d bury it in that same spot.

If Aqua remembers correctly, there’s supposed to be a tiny dirt path, right here, that would’ve led her to a clearing in the forest, down a lower altitude by several notches, where she and Terra kept a chest of old toys they couldn’t let go of, and letters they wanted to keep but forgot about. Where they kissed for the first time because she was curious, and Terra shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal, and she did the same.

Where there should be that forest is nothing but air now.

But home is home, always a fortress, always there to shelter, just like it does for Ven if only by a new expression.

The thunder of Sora’s engines roar before they quiet, exhaling one last time when he lands. He brings everyone with him - Lea is the first to come out, mouth wide open in a stupefied gasp, his glare demanding an explanation.

“Castle Oblivion?” He gesticulates, letting his hands slap his hips. “Sure, it’s not the easiest place to get to. But you could have done us all the humanly decent thing, and said so.”

“Castle Oblivion?” Aqua repeats. The words sound foul.

“You mean your lot didn’t name it?” He crosses his arms as he steps by her side. He’s too smug, like he finds that fact giddy.

“No, of course not, this…” This is the first time it’s ever happened in our history.

“If it wasn’t you, then it had to have come from our favorite, friendly Nobody.” Still smug. Stars, she’d punch him. “Xemnas.”

Despite the warning in her eyes at the mention of that name, Lea sneers. “It’s quite the comfortable home, if you’re interested in psychopathy.”

“You’ve been inside?” she hushes, tying up an apology behind her lips. What if he doesn’t know?

“Don’t worry.” He waves a hand at her. “I was a Nobody at the time. Not like I was that attached.”

So he knows. “You’re lucky you ever got out,” Aqua mutters.

“That attached to what?” Sora skips over, an innocent smile plastered so hard on his face that the horrible truth still wouldn’t peel it off of him.

“Memories,” Riku answers.

If Riku knows, then surely he’s lost some. Aqua nearly blurts out her concern for him, but he flashes her a gentle smirk and rolls a shoulder like it barely matters.

“Is that supposed to mean something?” Sora asks as Kairi tags along, who is unzipping and zipping Donald’s cap.

“The Organization used it to research memories,” Lea says. “We even went so far as to manipulate them - you know, plant a little bit of this, tweak a little bit of that.”

“And this is important, why?”

“The castle has a defense mechanism,” Aqua says, glancing at Riku, “to protect the delicate balance of this world so we could give all Keyblade trainees a safe refuge. The rooms aren’t truly real anymore. Threats who wander in are… forced to relive certain events in their life.”  

But Riku doesn’t have much of a reaction.

“Anyway,” she continues, “the memories replayed aren’t always exact. They reflect the heart of the person the castle is reading. So yes, it would be the perfect place to experiment with them.”

“I’ve been in this star-forsaken place more than I wished for,” Lea says, giving the castle a lookover. “My most important mission was to find one particular room. I never did.”

Hearing that was comforting. “Because the rooms inside move around,” Aqua says. “The point is to make the intruder confused. Make them obsessed with remembering correctly that they continue to wander. Until they forget why they’re there.”

Sora gapes, his eyes bulging. “You were the one who designed it like that? You’re savage.”

“Gawrsh,” Goofy says, holding a chin to his hand. His vowels ripple. “Ya think it’d be a nifty place to keep Xehanort locked up in.”

Donald frowns and fists his hips. “And you left Ventus in there?”

“Yes, and I’m the only one who can get him out,” she says sternly, choosing not to elaborate on the how. She sucks in a breath. “The castle won’t exactly recognize me, either. But I have the key.”

“How do we stop ourselves from losing memories?” Kairi asks. For a first mission, this one is entirely inappropriate.

“We don’t. I’m going in alone.” Aqua has long accepted the responsibility, thinking about this moment since the day she closed those doors. She chooses to ignore the disappointed look on Kairi’s face - once full of curiosity and hope at finally being allowed to show her worth.

“But you shouldn’t have to do this alone,” Sora says, stepping forward.

Aqua purses her lips. She’s done good not telling him everything.

“I do.”

“What is it with you and Terra and your obsessions with marching a one-man parade?” Sora grins, rubbing his nose. Riku snorts. “You’re going to have to learn to take ‘Nah’ for an answer. I think Ventus would agree with me.”

“Ditto,” Lea says.

“It was your bright idea to leave him and now we have to fix it,” Donald grumbles.

You were the ones who followed me. Aqua bites her lip.

It’s Aqua against six others who disagree with her, who came all the way here like she’s the one needing a chaperone. Ven would have wanted to come too, given the chance. He’s just better at submitting to her demands, even if he hated them, even if he didn’t want to understand they were for his safety.

“But your memories-”

“It really isn’t fair that Sora forgets what it’s like to be in there anyway,” Riku says, arms crossed and flexed.

Sora furrows his brows. “What would we forget?”

“Whatever you’re giving the castle,” Aqua says, starting quiet then raising her voice. “It will snatch something you’re passionate about… Your best defense is to simply look away. Believe in your own integrity, instead of what you see.”

“That…” Kairi picks at her cuticles. “Doesn’t sound too bad.”

That’s only because they’ve never spent years weighing the consequences.

“Consider this: how long would it take you to get to Ventus?” Lea asks.

“Not long at all. I can summon him to the first room,” Aqua says.

“Then we skidaddle in and run the stars out.” He mimics walking movement with his fingers. “You’re too paranoid. We didn’t travel all this way to admire the decorator’s taste. Award-winning, I tell you.”

Aqua takes a moment to study each of them, hoping her eyes spoke of horrors she can’t find the words for. But they smile back with encouragement. She considers tying them up with her chains to see if they enjoy feeling trapped under pressure.

She sighs. “The less amount of time we take, the better.”

The front door protests when she opens it, heavy and dragging across the pale floor. The inside is sterile, so white that the reflected light blinds. Every surface she can see is scrubbed clean of any and all personality. Like a hospital. Like a morgue.

At first glance, it’s just a simple room. A door innocently waits on the other side, the same monocolor as everything else. Their footsteps clank hard on the tile floor.

“Can’t believe I get to see the magic this time,” Lea says, the volume of his voice normal, but too strong for this room.

“You bums are pretty late for the show,” a gravelly voice replies. Aqua catches him leaning casually at the corner of the room, his black helmet a stark stain against the wall. She swears he wasn’t there before. She swears she got rid of him. She wonders if it’s still Ven’s face underneath.

“You again,” Sora barks.

“Took you long enough to get here,” Vanitas says, straightening up. “A really long time. Venty-Wenty needs his mommy to wake him up, but it’s like…” He snorts. “It’s like you forgot you had a kid waiting for you. Some mother you make.”

Donald slaps his webbed foot on the floor, his voice grating. “We’re too busy to deal with you. Now scram!”

“I have more right to be here than you,” he says, a sudden leap downhill trickling through his voice. His posture, however short he is, stays tall and proud. “I got here first. I outperformed the parent.” He jabs a finger in the air. “Don’t believe my sincerity, but I’ve got all the family business to pick with my own brother. It’s inhumane to keep us apart.” Vanitas summons his Keyblade, electrical sparks warping the air before its monstrosity takes form. “It’s been almost thirteen years, Aqua. What do you say? We can make this reunion worth the wait.”

Aqua scoffs through her nose. So he wants to think he’s still that much of a threat, after everything she’s seen. She keeps her nose high. “I don’t think about the gnat I’m stepping on.”

He pauses before he laughs. “You almost bruised me there, Master Aqua. What kind of selfish person would say something like that.” Darkness sputters from his body, ribbons crawling out of the leathery web of his skin. Monsters, Unversed. Red-eyed and twitchy, with more spunk and intelligent thought than the feral mind-numbing of a Heartless. “It suits you.”

This time, Aqua doesn’t hesitate. Her Master’s Defender takes form, and she charges. The sound of Keyblade summons bounce off the walls like bells as the mob of Unversed swarms. She takes out a swath of them in one icy hit, a sudden euphoria taking over her body - it’s good exercise to have. Beating him up should release some of the tension in her shoulders.

Still, she has to be careful about one thing: she can’t let Vanitas follow her.

“Get rid of them!” she yells.

By superficial glance, Vanitas is outnumbered, but the Unversed keep coming. Wave after wave of aggressive emotion. As though humans will never go numb.

Sora takes the enthusiastic lead. Lea stays behind and relies on his pot-shots. Riku hovers near Kairi, who does her best juggling creatures she’s never fought before. Donald sounds like he’s cursing when he really isn’t as he casts thunderous spells, and Goofy builds a strong defense on the front line, right by Sora’s side.

Aqua focuses on Vanitas, who has his arms wide open like a goal post.

But Sora juts in, and Aqua staggers to avoid hitting him.

“He’s nothing but a creep. Leave him,” he says, blocking one of Vanitas’ explosive attacks on her behalf.

“I have to end this,” she spits.

“Then stop talking and end it,” Vanitas growls, his Keyblade brimming with heat as he slams it against Sora’s.

“What about the time we’re spending in the castle? It’s ticking,” Sora asks her, his brows furrowed upside down.

“You’re boring me,” Vanitas says. He ghosts through the space between them, throwing an electrified force like he’s batting a swing. Aqua dodges, using the Defender as a lightning rod, and redirects the intensity until it crumbles into a wall away from everyone else.

“We’re not alone!” Lea calls out, the smoke of his fire spells clouding the room.

Something slithers, weaving through the air with a high-pitched wiggle. The thing is white, bending like it can compute Aqua’s strike before she has the chance to think of it. Its skin is thick yet fluid, reverberating her magic like it’s jelly. All of its movements are calculated - the way it walks is unnatural, as if someone is inputting commands into its mind.

“Nobodies!”

“Finally, some proper entertainment.” Vanitas catches Kairi off-guard, throwing her backward. “You got children in your team. Proud of yourself?”

If Aqua goes ahead and hurries to Ven, none of them would have to sacrifice their memories.

If she leaves them alone, would she betray their need for help?

“Just go,” Sora says. “It’s not a big deal. Look at him.” He waves to Vanitas, who is messing with Lea now. “He’s like an angry chicken.”

That’s the last word she’d use to describe Vanitas, but they’ve wasted so much time already.

“You promise?”

“Promise to trust my word?”

Aqua sighs and grips his shoulder, her fingers digging into his sleeve. His eyes go wide, getting the message. “Don’t underestimate him. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

The door handle churns when she grabs it. Pops, whirs, and shouts rally behind her in a thunderous roar, and she stops herself from turning the knob.

“I didn’t say you could see him!” Vanitas yells, coming toward her like she’s the only one whose existence has any value. Riku blocks his way, scruffed up from vanquishing enemies in one intricate attack a moment before.

The lock turns. She wants to see Ven but she doesn’t, not with enemies so close.

Vanitas dodges strings of attacks from all sides, from her friends, from Goofy throwing his body across the room, from Donald screaming incoherent gibberish. “Not without me!”

It almost sounds… painful. If he’s this bothered, then she can only imagine how much hatred and disgust fuel his words.

Poor Ven for having to deal with him.

She shuts the door behind her, suffocating the noise, cutting off Vanitas’ verbal assault, like an eraser swallowing an exclamation mark.

Aqua stands at the entrance hall of what used to be the old castle, gold pillars holding up ivory walls, coated in stained glass light. Down the hall are staircases leading up to the throne room where she had her Mark of Mastery, right where they’re supposed to be.

She should’ve been more careful than let the castle into her mind. Damn it.

“Nothing is real,” she declares. Someone could be upstairs. The Master. With his bushy mustache and ridiculous hairstyle that she’s offered to cut for years. What would he say to her?

Maybe she could apologize. She really wants to.

No. The castle will conjure him only because she’s thinking of him. “I won’t look. I won’t.”

Some part of her jumped at the thought that it could be Terra… She could hear Terra’s voice. It’d be exact, his smile something she’s needed. It could be wonderful. It could be sad.

“I won’t look,” she whispers, taking a peek up at the balcony over the foyer to see if she could at least spot a head of hair. She sees the stained glass mural in the same beautiful shapes she’s mimicked with crayons, hovering right above the thrones. The colors do their best work in the late morning, just like how they glistened prims on Terra’s shoulders when she dueled him.

Aqua inhales sharply. She runs past the stairs and down another hallway to the left, to a door that normally would lead to the kitchen.  

Is she remembering that right? The kitchen?

“It doesn’t matter.” It does. But Ven. She grips a new door handle, so much like the ones back home (the same golden color).

She hisses. “Ven,” she calls, willing the word onto the door.

Aqua enters another empty white room with yet another door at the opposite side, like she smothered white paint all over a filled canvas. Who knows how far she’s moved away from the others by now, or how many rooms have sifted in between.

But the whiteness is exactly what she wants - to get to Ven, she’ll need some peace and quiet, and a bit of time to grieve.

Something is wrong, though. Aqua doesn’t take another step. The rooms should read her, not watch her.

“Who’s there?”

Footsteps lightly tread, weighty but feathery. A man in a black robe gracefully makes his appearance from behind a stone pillar, his face a secret under the hood. A giant of a man, barrel-chest with a thick waist, at least two heads taller than her.

“I had missed the chance to see you before,” he says, his voice deep and smooth, but forceful like the bottom of an ocean. Aqua’s heart hammers at the familiarity. “Now I’ve been granted a tabula rasa...”

Aqua scoffs, Defender at the ready.

“My friend,” Xemnas says.

“You’re not my friend.”

“Even I am not that cruel to be so cold. How can you say that to someone who has longed to see you?”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”

Xehanort’s Nobody hums, halfway between a chuckle and solemn breath. “I don’t need the pity.”

“Then I have nothing else for you.”

Aqua is the first to move, casting a barrier around herself for protection, expecting him to conjure up spells of his own. Instead, out of his palms burst two red sabers that throb when she gets close.

He strikes her with both, clutching Defender’s jab and throwing her off balance. He’s too fast for his size - he has to be utilizing the darkness to bend the laws of physics. Showing off his acrobatics and reappearing in places she doesn’t expect, he toys with the space between them, coming close to taunt her into hitting him. Then he goes away in a flash. Aqua scrambles to keep up.

“Enough of this,” she mutters.

Summoning her Master’s chains takes more from her than any other spell, but they’re her rock and wind - as though Eraqus is with her every step of the way, approving her decisions. They are Light incarnate into metal, threads that peel chunks away from her heart to take form. To justify conjuring them, she needs to land a certain blow.

This is Xehanort’s Nobody, after all. Watching him wince will be a welcome sight.

They wrap around his body, locking his sabers against his thighs. He shudders from the pain, his knees losing their strength. Yes, that’s exactly what she wants.

Like finding new resolve, Xemnas stands straight on trembling feet just as she was sure he’d collapse. She must be exhausted from conjuring them, she has to be. They shouldn’t be this weak. Dark energy crackles and whips against the links. His arms manage to flex outward, pushing against the hold.

Maybe that’s the point. To survive this, he can’t be anything close to human. He’s technically Nothing.

Or maybe it isn’t. Maybe she isn’t sure she wants this.

“An old trick,” Xemnas says, loosening one arm.

This is her only chance. Aqua pinches the gap between them in an instant, her Master’s Defender high in the air to knock him out.

Xemnas grabs her by the wrist, the Defender suspended in air. His hand is so large that his fingers lock together, twisting and squeezing her that she’s worried he’ll break it.

Aqua tries to jerk free but the pain cuts into her circulation.

He watches her squirm. “Like a trapped mouse with not the mind to know there’s nowhere to go. No need to skirmish so much.”

“Let go of me.”

“Why do you hate me so?” He squeezes harder and lifts her, her feet dangling off the floor. She yelps. “You fight me though you know me as faceless. Such harsh disregard for my existence.”

“Spare me,” she breathes, her wrist throbbing, “your stupid pleas.”

“But I do plea.” Xemnas gently lifts the hood off his head. It’s not the shoulder-length silver hair that surprises her, but his face. Yellow eyes, but the same face.

She gasps. “Terra.”

Wrong. Everything about him is wrong - the smile, the malicious glint in his eye, the tightened half-smirk. A callous Terra looking down on her like the gnat under a shoe, needing to be scraped off.

“You’re hurting me,” she whimpers to (Terra’s face), hoping to catch the tiniest reaction in his eyes that he’d feel bad for doing so - just like Terra would. But he doesn’t.

This is supposed to be Xehanort’s body without a heart. But she’s been misleading herself, hasn’t she?

(Terra’s body) wanting to be her friend, wanting to stay close, wanting to reconnect. And she wanted the same. Aqua swallows bile.

This bastard stole from her.

She throws a kick into his face with enough force that he lets her go. Xemnas stumbles backward, holding his chin where her shoe made contact. He winces. Good.

“You’re nothing like him!” Aqua says, flexing her sore, thick grip on the Defender. It twitches and singes.

Xemnas stays where he is, carefully massaging his chin like she isn’t in the room anymore. If he heard her, he doesn’t give notice, staring blankly at the floor. She wonders - for the slightest moment - if what she said actually stung him.

“You can try,” he says.

“Excuse me?”

“Try it.” He conjures his blades. “Obliterate me. Let’s see if you make peace with doing so after seeing my face.”

Shut up. Aqua lunges at him, ignoring the ache on her wrist. But instead of using his blades against her, a wall of light erects from the floor. She collides into it. It electrocutes her, throwing her back.

An offensive barrier? Terra’s used this. Protecting her in the Realm of Darkness right after finding her. This really is Terra’s body.

A cry echoes against the tile. It came out of her own mouth. She can’t lose it here.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re his body,” she whispers to herself, standing up. She stumbles as Xemnas casually approaches, his footsteps as soft as the adrenaline dissipating from her body. Numbness is quickly replaced by the stinging in her wrist. It’s harder to take calming breaths.

It matters. It matters too much.

Aqua huffs, telling herself to stop thinking about who’s in the room and start thinking about the people depending on her. “You’re wasting my time,” she declares.

She turns on her heel and heads for the door.

A blast explodes near the exit. Over her shoulder, Aqua sees Xemnas holding out his palm, smoke fizzing out of the leather of his glove.

“After all this time?” he asks.

Aqua gives herself a conscious reminder that Nobodies can’t truly feel. Lea is sure to disagree, but there’s little in Xemnas’ voice to tell her there’s anything left of Terra in that mind.

She yells. Such a primitive thing to do, but it tricks her body for a few precious moments into feeling she has the strength to pull off something big and reckless. Chains of light emanate from her body.

The chains pummel in different directions, and Xemnas erects several barriers to counter each one. Neither of them actually target him. It’s not that she’s getting worse at her aim. Or getting brittle. She knows this. It’s everything to do with (him), and she’s ashamed of it.

At least they’re distracting him.

Aqua yanks the door handle with her good hand, a pressure bursting from the other side and swallowing her as she closes it behind her.

Warmth beats on her shoulders. Tall stone towers conquer the space around her, blocking off the horizon. Aqua only sees gently setting sunlight. She’s somewhere on a terrace of a castle, tucked away from the main streets.

Her heart drops when she realizes it’s Radiant Garden.

“No, no, no, no,” she murmurs, palming the brick walls behind her for a door. For the feeling of a doorknob. She can’t have this now. She can’t stand to witness one of her worst memories.

A few feet ahead. There, a gray door that would take her out to an alley - out of this room. It’s just a room.

But the castle knows.

It only takes a second. A tall figure catches her peripheral attention.

Terra, with a scowl on his face. He’s impeccable: thick, effortlessly tousled hair just right, the pensive deepness of his eyes far away and hurt, unsure of her presence there. Something about him is tense, like he’s about to turn over his shoulder and walk away from her all over again.

Aqua has only one wish to ask what she used to call home. Smile. Please, smile.

#terraqua #aqua #vanitas #xemnas #kingdom hearts fanfiction #kh fanfic #i dunno what happened #i format it and then tumblr deletes everything but the title #i apologize #i had to redo it #my fic

[jawritter]

A Thousand Years...

Chapter 1

Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave. How can I love when I’m afraid to fall. But watching you stand alone. All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow…..

Summary: A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master. – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

A new town, a new job, and a new life, one that you didn’t even expect……

Pairing: Reader x OFC Crystal, Reader x OFC Jessie Jensen Ackles x Reader.

Word Count: 1842

Warnings will include… Smut, language, unrequited/ requited love, cheating, and possibly more. This is gonna be a slow burn y’all!! This is brand new, so I will add to it as I know. Chapters will have warnings of their own if need be….

A/N: So my little cousin was watching breaking dawn in the living room, and I was folding clothes in the guest room… When the credits rolled and this song started, this fic hit me right in the face… I couldn’t escape it.. I don’t know yet how many chapters it will be! But If you want to be tagged let me know!! As always all mistakes are mine!! Feedback is gold!! Hope you guys enjoy this one!!

Fic Based on the Song A Thousand Years, by Christina Perri

Want more? Check out my Masterlist?

*****Masterlist*****

******Series Masterlist*****

Austin, Texas. A city that seemed to have a life force of its own. Full of art, culture, music, and people of all verities. There was very little that people didn’t love about this place once you visited it. It draws you in and keeps you there. Holding you like a giant magnet and never letting you go. Like it had its own invisible pull. 

Well, that’s what it did for you anyway. 

And what better place to start life over than right here in Austin, Texas. 

If there ever was a place in your mind you could start fresh, make something different of yourself, it was here; and if there was ever a place you could hide from you past it was here too. 

Pulling the last shirt out of your bag and folding it before placing it in your dresser, you take a deep breath and look around at your new apartment. It was small, only a studio apartment, but that’s all you could afford right now. Besides, it was a start. There was a waiting list to get into most of the places like this in Austin, and you were lucky enough to know the manager of this apartment complex. She was actually your sister-in-law.

Sure, it was cheating, but you always loved your brother and his wife; and when your life fell apart back home they were the ones that suggested you move here. 

Shoving the memories down of a failed engagement, and a promise of love that was obviously a lie, you make your way from your bedroom to your kitchen. You put on a small pot of coffee and sitting down with your laptop at the bar, letting out a sigh as you looked around your small space.

There was no point in dwelling on the past, only the future mattered now, or at least that what you kept telling yourself. 

You had been avoiding every type of social media and most relatives since Justin left you standing at the altar. You just didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It was humiliating enough to be the bride that apparently no one really wanted, and reliving it over and over again every time someone wanted to discuss it wasn’t something you wanted to do. That was one of the main reasons why you left your home town when you were invited to live out here. 

Crystal and your brother Jessie were the only people you knew in Austin. There were no high school classmates you had a danger of running into at the local supermarket, there were no “almost in-laws” living up the street from you. There were no ex fiances that you could run into at random moments in this town. No one knew you, no one knew your past, and no one would ever know if you had your way about it. 

You left all that behind when you got in your car and drove to Austin, not looking back, and burying that part of you deep, deep down; never to be dug up by anyone else again. 

You were just about to log onto the resume builder to start working on your resume when you heard a pounding on the door. That could only be one of two people, so you didn’t bother getting up to answer the door.

“It’s open!” you yell in the direction of the front door, not even bothering to look up when the door opened and Crystal flounced into the apartment, dropping her purse down on the bar next to you before flopping down on the vacant bar stool. 

“So, you get yourself settled okay?” she asked, looking around your apartment like she’d never seen one before even though she works for the apartment complex and looks at the same damn floor plan every day.

“Yup,” you mumble, popping the P at the end. Not bothering to look up from your computer as you did.

You were a little aggravated that your brother and his wife and insisted on paying your rent up three months ahead for you, giving you a “jump-start” while you look for a job around here that could support you.

“You are still annoyed with me for paying the rent up aren’t you?” She ask, a smirk on her tinted lips. She was always one to apply the makeup heavy, and when she was at work she laid it on pretty thick.

“Yup,” you said again, hopeful she’d just drop the subject so that you could concentrate. 

You’d been working for a local bar while you were still in your hometown, and so far that’s the only “job” experience you had. So you were basically just staring at your resume, with your past employer's information on it, and nothing else… 

Maybe this was going to be a little harder than you thought it was going to be. 

Crystal looked over your shoulder at your laptop screen, reading over your last employment information. 

“So...got any idea what you want to do now that you’re here in Austin?” she asks you, stating the question like you might bight her head off if she caught you in the wrong mood. 

Maybe you had been a little touchy lately, but you’d been through a lot, and your trust in people was pretty much nonexistent at this point. 

The one person you let yourself trust, the one person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, had let you down in one of the most humiliating ways possible, and it was going to take a lot to get past that. Even though you didn’t even want to admit it to yourself, you were pretty hung up on what happened to you. It wasn’t even “hurt” at this point, you were angry with Justin, and with most of the male population in general.

“Not a damn clue,” you admitted, running your hand through your hair and getting up to fix your cup of coffee, walking away from the most pathetic work experience list that you’d ever seen in your life on a resume for a moment before you started to cry again. 

So much for a fresh start.

You were going to starve to death before you could find a damn job with a list of work experiences like the one you had, or at least that’s what the little sarcastic voice in your head retorted to you before laughing maliciously. 

“Look there are a lot of bars and things around here in Austin. My suggestion is go with what you know. It may not be exactly the change you were looking for, but it will keep you in food and clothes while you look for something different that will let you start out on a training level.” 

You pass her a cut of coffee across the small island bar in the middle of your kitchen before setting back down with a defeated huff, staring at your computer like if you stared at it long enough, you could will it to change it to suit you better.

Sighing defeatedly you exit out of the resume builder and start googling local bars you could walk around downtown to and see if they need a bartender. Thankfully you had just renewed your liquor license before you moved here, so at least you had that working for you. 

“It’s not all bad you know, you get to meet all kinds of people in Austin working at a bar. Musicians, artists, hell we even got a few famous actors that live around here! You never know, mister right might walk right into one of those places and sweep you right off your feet,” she said, giving you an elbow to the ribs. You grimaced at her from the top of your coffee cup.

“I’m not looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Anyone for that matter. I’ve had enough of dating, relationships, and men right now to last me a lifetime,” you retort a little more sadistically than you probably actually intended. 

“Oh come on, Y/N! There’s nothing wrong with having someone to have a little fun with. You’re a young, attractive woman. Don’t count off all men just because of one asshole. You will be surprised by the men out there that would give their left arm to have a chance with you. You sell yourself too short,” she chided, watching your reaction closely. 

Shrugging, your roll your eyes dramatically as your brother burst through the door, not even bothering to knock.

“What’s up, ladies?” Jessie said, sitting down a few boxes of pizza on the bar in front of you.

“Dinner is served! I thought I’d be nice and pick up dinner for you girls tonight since Chris has to work late and you’re just getting settled,” he said, leaning against the bar, looking over your computer at your computer before you slammed it closed. 

“My hero,” you said with a sneer. 

Crystal snickered at you before opening the pizza box and grabbing a slice. “Dear God. Pizza and coffee for supper. I feel like I’m in college all over again.” 

“Fuck, at this point I wish I’d have gone to college. I’m never going to find a job here that’s not slinging drinks for a bunch of drunk men at all hours of the night,” you grumble, grabbing a slice of your own.

“So that’s up with the list of local watering holes you had pulled up there? Here I was thinking you just wanted to get tossed,” he said sarcastically. 

“No jackass, it’s just the only job I’m qualified for,” you growl, shooting him the finger and causing a coughing fit from Crystal who was laughing hysterically next to you.

“Well, you know if you are not interested in the whole bar scene anymore there’s a fairly new brewery that has opened up in Dripping Springs, Texas. One of our local celebrities and his family opened it up. They might be looking for someone. It is out in the country, it closes fairly early, usually it’s shut down by like 11 at night. It’s a bar, but it’s not a bar. Hell, you might even like it. Live music, trivia nights, I think it’d be a good thing for you,” he said, walking around you grabbing a glass and feeling it with water before returning back to the opposite side of the bar.

Rubbing your face with your free hand and taking a deep breath you tried to decide what to do. It didn’t sound that bad, but could things actually work out like you were supposed to? Could things actually go that right, or would it be just something that you got your hopes up for again and got let down?

Jessie could see your internal battle, reaching across the bar he grabbed your shoulder and made you look at him. 

“I’ll tell you what, both Chris and I have tomorrow off, let’s drive out there and see if they’re looking for anyone to hire. Either way, it might be fun. You deserve to have a little fun after everything that you’ve been through. Let’s just go have a good family day.”

“Okay, okay fine!” you said, leaning back and crossing your arms over your chest. “We’ll go check it out.”

Deep down inside there was a twinge of nerves you hadn’t felt in a very long time, and you didn’t know what to make of it, but you knew that if this worked out it could be the change you were looking for. 

Could you really be that lucky?

———————————————————————————————-

Tag List:

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @akshi8278​

Series Tag List:

@prettydeaneyes​

@supersassyprobablysad​

@fangirlxwritesx67​

@ricanqueen20​ 

@xhannahbananax03​

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen x you #jensen x reader #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic #jensen fanfiction #jensen fic #spn #spn fanfiction #spn fic #spn smut #jensen ackles smut #jensen smut #dean winchester #dean winchester smut #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural #jawritter #a thousand years

[pastelwitchling]

This (very late) prompt is courtesy of Anonymous.

I am in love with your writing and I just could not get this prompt out of my head and I thought you would be perfect to write it. Something with Alex looking miserable and Michael (as the friend he is to Alex now) asking him what’s wrong and Alex hesitating at first but then eventually telling Michael about the bad date he was on where he was rejected due to his leg. I would just love to have some Michael comforting Alex and reassurring him that he is beautiful inside and out even with the leg

***

               Michael wished he could say he was being mature about this. But the truth was he really, really wasn’t. He sat in the bunker with his legs crossed over the desk, counting the minutes as they passed, his fingers tapping against his arm to the seconds.

               Some might say that Michael had found any excuse to go see Alex at his cabin at the same time he’d heard from Liz that the airman would be leaving for a date. Alex had been startled to see him, but had been as gracious and polite as ever. He reacted no differently than he might have if it was Max that had gone to see him.

               Michael shut his eyes. What was the good in thinking of that now? Alex had been out on a date. For hours. Michael had files to look through. He didn’t care if Alex was out with some other guy. In fact, he hoped the airman was having the time of his life. (Except, of course, that that was a lie, and the darker part of Michael secretly hoped Alex hated having gone out at all.)

               When the bunker door opened, Michael very pointedly did not stand. Alex was faced ahead, his expression a mixture of disturbed, tired, and unreadable as it always was when he stepped in here. Michael wanted to study the look, decipher the kind of night the airman had had, but he couldn’t afford to be caught staring.

               “Oh, hey,” he very casually said after what he felt was the proper waiting time. “How was your date?”

               “Fine. Did you ever look over the 1950 file?”

               Michael blinked.

               “Uh – yeah, I did. Nothing conclusive.”

               He knew he and Alex weren’t best friends, but he had thought they were both going to make an effort to talk about this stuff. Admittedly, Michael thought being shot in the foot was a lot more merciful than hearing about Alex’s dates, but he wanted to be the kind of person Alex could talk to. He had to be. How would he ever win Alex back if the airman couldn’t confide in him?

               “Did you… have fun?”

               “Mhm.”

               Michael tapped his finger against his file. “Where’d you go?”

               “Movies.”

               “You get cold?”

               “Nope.”

               “What movie did you watch –”

               “Are you done?” Alex finally said. He was smiling, as if amused, but there was an unmistakable weariness in his voice. He nudged his chin at the files on the table in front of Michael. “Don’t you have something more important to think about than my date?”

               Michael stared. If it had been anyone else, he might’ve gone back to reading, might’ve shrugged it off, but this… this was Exhausted-Alex. The kind of Alex Michael only saw when the airman was disappointed, and was trying not to show it. Something was wrong.

               “Are you okay?”

               “Mhm,” Alex hummed, typing away at some complex coding as he kept his back turned to Michael.

               Michael considered Alex’s behavior as he considered everything that mattered; reasonably and logically. It was not a method he used often, but Alex was upset. If ever his unused genius was needed, it was now.

               He stared at Alex as the equations and theories ran through his head in an instant. “Alex,” he tried, his voice low. “Did he… not show up?”

               Alex’s fingers stilled on the keyboard, and just as Michael was telling himself that he’d cracked the code, that he’d kill whoever decided to stand Alex up, and then questioned the irony that made him want to kill someone for not dating the airman, Alex turned his chair.

               His head was tilted, his eyes on the floor, his hands folded between his legs. He leaned back in his chair with a long sigh, and to Michael’s surprise, he didn’t seem angry or annoyed. He was just… sad.

               “He showed up,” Alex said, then cleared his throat. “Then, uh, he left.”

               Michael raised a brow, his thumb digging against his arm. “Oh?”

               Alex nodded, and said nothing else. He wasn’t completely here, Michael realized. He was still reliving whatever had happened on his date. Michael used the airman’s distraction to look him over. He had no hickeys, his clothes didn’t look rumpled, his hair looked windswept, but not as if someone had run their hands through it. His cheeks weren’t red, but instead he looked like he was going to be sick, despite the small smile at his lips that looked anything but genuine.

               It was as Michael looked him over that he noticed Alex’s hands weren’t folded. The airman was subtly pressing his fingers into his right leg as if it ached. Michael stared. He showed up. Then he left.

               Oh.

               When he looked up at Alex, he saw the airman looking back at him. Michael hated this. He had thought he wanted Alex to have a terrible time, but he hadn’t wanted anything like this. He wanted a bad kisser, he wanted annoying jokes, the more selfish part of him wanted a, ‘He’s not you, Guerin.’ But this was the worst thing that could’ve happened, this was something that could’ve killed Alex, this…

               Michael stood. “I’ll kill him.”

               “Guerin,” Alex shook his head. “It’s fine.”

               “It’s not fine, what’d he say to you?”

               “Nothing I haven’t heard before,” he said, as if that was supposed to comfort Michael. Instead, it made him nauseous. “It’s fine, it’s okay. I’m not mad or anything.”

               “Alex –”

               “You only say my name when you’re mad at me,” Alex muttered, as if to himself, and huffed a chuckle. Then, louder, he said, “It’s actually kind of reassuring. Look, I’m only telling you because it’s embarrassing not to. I’m not ashamed of anything, Guerin.”

               But even as he said it, he couldn’t meet Michael’s eyes. Michael’s hands tightened to fists at his sides, and he stormed up to Alex. Before the airman could ask what he was doing, Michael gripped the armchairs, caging Alex in.

               “Go out with me.”

               Whatever Alex had expected Michael to say, he had apparently not expected that.

               “W-what?”

               “Go out with me, Alex,” he repeated. “Date me. We can go now, let’s go now.”

               Alex’s expression hardened. “That’s not funny.” He tried to stand, but Michael put his hands on his shoulders, keeping him down.

               “I’m not laughing,” he said. “Alex. I hated that you went out with someone else tonight. I would’ve hated it if you’d gone out with Valenti, I hate anyone that tries to date you.”

               “You’re going too far, Guerin, I told you already, I’m not upset, I don’t need you to do this!”

               Michael clenched his jaw. “Damn it, Manes, you’ll always be impossible to talk to.” He took Alex’s face in his hands, and pulled them close enough that his lips were a mere few inches from the airman’s. “Listen to me. I love you, okay? I love you. I’d marry you right now if you’d let me, but since I know you have to have everything your way, I’ll settle for a date for now.”

               Alex searched his face, his brows furrowed as if trying to find the lie. It was pointless. Michael had never been so honest in his life.

               Alex suddenly swallowed, and turned away. Michael pressed his forehead to Alex’s back.

               “Private, you’re gorgeous. I love all of you so much, it hurts. Even if you say no after this, you have to know that. Please don’t say no,” he finished on a whisper.

               Alex stood, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. “I, um… I-I’m really tired. I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

               He walked past Michael who was staring at the empty space where he’d been seated. He hadn’t, he realized, really expected Alex to leave him. He turned, not knowing what he would say, only that he would chase Alex to his cabin if he had to get him to say yes, and no sooner had he done it than Alex wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in for a hug.

               Michael stilled. Alex had never hugged him before. But as he felt the airman’s chest, rapidly rising and falling against his, as he felt Alex’s warm cheek against his own, as he felt Alex’s lips against his shoulder, Michael hugged him back with both arms, wondering why they had never thought to do this before.

               Alex was so warm, his body so toned, and he and Michael were the same height, so Michael could burying his face in the crook of Alex’s neck so easily.

               “Thank you,” Alex breathed into Michael’s shoulder. Alex sounded… relieved? As if he’d been afraid that Michael would agree with his date, that he wasn’t worth loving because of what he’d lost.

               Michael held him tighter, shut his eyes. “Baby,” he whispered against Alex’s skin, and the word seemed to wake Alex up.

               He stirred in Michael’s hold, and Michael thought that holding him tightly enough that he couldn’t breathe would keep him still, keeping him hugging Michael, and for a minute, it really looked like it was going to work. Alex settled into his arms with a deep, silent sigh, and Michael held onto him.

               Eventually though, Michael had to let him go, and as soon as he did, Alex patted his shoulder, and left so quickly that Michael couldn’t even see the look on his face, though he guessed that was intentional.

               As he was left alone in the bunker, Michael imagined seeing Alex again tomorrow. He imagined the airman taking his seat and continuing his work as if Michael had never confessed his love for him. He would be giving Michael an out; I’ll pretend you never said anything. I’ll spare you having to actually go out with me. I won’t let either of us suffer like we used to.

               Screw that, Michael thought. He would ask again tomorrow, and if Alex didn’t show up, he’d go to his cabin. He’d give his airman tonight to breathe, then tomorrow, Alex was his.

***

I am so late, it’s not even funny.

Well, I’m back. First one-shot I’ve written since the 25 days of fluff, and I have to say, it feels good to return to angst. As you can see, I’m a little rusty. I still have that pesky little ambiguously happy ending instead of a clearly miserable one, but FEAR NOT! I will rectify that soon enough 💕

#alex manes #michael guerin #malex #malex one shot #malex fanfic #malex fic #malex fanfiction #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex angst #malex fluff #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis

[skvaderarts]

Hiraeth Chapter Two: Hindsight

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Two: Hindsight

Notes: I’ve had an overwhelming majority of you request this kind of chapter up until now, so I hope you like it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think it’s finally time. Buckle in, because this is gonna be a long one.

-~-

The room fell silent. It was as though all the air had been sucked from the space between each of them, the small living area suddenly converting itself into an airlock of sorts. Any vestiges or illusions of a pleasant and welcoming environment falling away like so much set dressing leaving nothing but the most piercing silence imaginable. Keen ears such as theirs could only pick up the faint sounds of breathing as they looked out across the room at the young white-haired summoner, questions without answers brewing at the forefront of their collective consciousness. It was only an extraordinary circumstance that led to a situation where V was willing to elaborate on something so deeply personal, and there was no question that this qualified as such an event. But there were still a few things that they didn’t understand on principle alone, and they needed to understand them before they could continue.

“Wait wait wait wait wait…” The devil hunter in red held up his hands for a moment, stopping V before he could go any further.” What made you remember this in the first place? What’s going on with you? Because the last time I checked, you didn’t just volunteer to tell us your life’s story, V. Somethings up with you.”

A ragged sighed escaped the younger man’s lips as he considered his uncle’s words before nodding in agreement. Yes, perhaps a bit of context was needed in this situation.

“Your quite right, Dante. The only issue is that I don’t know what that “something” is.” He paused for a moment, meandering through his thoughts. He wasn’t entirely sure how to explain what he’d experienced leading up to this conversation in a way that made sense.” Everything is an incomprehensible blur of fragmented memories. I remember boarding the train, and then from there, there is very little that I can grasp. I have a vague recollection of being on the train and suddenly feeling overwhelming… I can’t quite put it into words. I’d compare it to coming up for air when you didn’t realize you were drowning, only to realize that you were under longer than you could remember. Reality was subjective, almost as though something else was going through my memories and I was resisting it, if only barely. It felt as though I was dreaming but wide awake all at once. It’s very strange. I apologize, but I can’t explain it any better than that.”

Both Dante and Vergil nodded, seemingly considering his statement. The eldest of the two seemed to be considering something else, while Dante was simply trying to comprehend whether or not he was actually capable of comprehending this sort of thing since it was so abstract. Strangely enough, he had gone through something like this once before, but he wasn’t sure that this was the time to bring that up. Much like V, it was a memory that he had buried deep and wasn’t sure that he wanted to relive in vivid detail. But then again, if V was going to…

“Hey V… are you alright?” Nero asked almost hesitantly. He was genuinely unsure of how to react to such a statement. What V had just experienced sounded truly awful to him, and he’d known that something was wrong with him the moment they boarded the train, but to find out what it had actually been was a different matter entirely.” I thought that something might be wrong with you and I clued Dante into it, but I wasn’t sure what else to do…”

V nodded, slightly distant as he tried to recall the things he’d experienced during their trip. Now even those vague memories were starting to slip away as he tried feebly to grasp them to no avail. It was like waking up from a nightmare only to feel the residual fear, but not remember anything you dreamed about.” Yes, I vaguely remember that. Thank you, Nero. I may very well still be in such a state if the two of you had not acted as you did.”

Nero nodded in agreement, turning his attention to Matier.” Why would that knife even be able to do something like that? It is cursed or something? We’ve had it for a while now and nothing like that has happened before.”

Matier smiled softly, sparing a deliberate glance in the direction of the box the blade was in as Nico and Sirrus migrated further into the room. They’d been hugging the wall on the far side of the room until then, unwilling to interject into what seemed to be a family affair.” Nothing that you know of, young one. If what he describes is true, who among you would be able to tell? After all, we have very little insight as to how the Arcana functions.”

The young devil hunter opened his mount to respond, only to find himself at a loss for words. How could they know indeed? It wasn’t as though any of them had been able to look at V and tell immediately. He’d been that way for several hours before his prolonged silence seemed to register to any of them. If the blade could control its own duration of effect, then there was no way of knowing if it had decided to affect them at all up until then, especially if it didn’t need to be in direct contact with however it was manipulating. Nero wasn’t sure if that was the case yet, but it brought a lot of questions.

“It’s weird, but I think I’ve had something like this happen to me before. It was years ago, though. On Malet island…” Dante groaned slightly. This was one memory he could do without sharing, but the more that V described his ordeal, the more he felt compelled to do the same.” I was just about to go to the underworld to fight Mundus when Nightmare attacked me for the second time. He was guarding the gate or something. Anyway, he swallowed me and I got sucked into his little pocket dimension where he shows you your worst fears or whatever, and it felt kinda like what you’re talking about. Only thing was that when he showed me a bunch of illusions, I knew that they weren’t real because…” 

Dante paused, trailing off as he noticed Vergil’s evident discomfort with the subject matter. It didn’t come as a surprise to the youngest of the Dark Knight Sparda’s twin sons that his older counterpart might not like hearing about that place. He could only scarcely imagine what he’d gone through during his time there. In ways large and small, it had affected them both to some degree over the years, but he was willing to bet that despite his own immense suffering, Vergil had definitely gotten the short end of that stick. Perhaps literally. Mundus was an inventive bastard.

The Darkslayer folded his arms, seemingly disturbed to some degree to hear about this entire situation. He seemed to retract somewhat into himself, if only mentally as he tried not to think about his past. It was a daily effort for him to keep his demons buried, and having to hear about Nightmare didn’t help. It was bad enough that Griffon and Shadow were still around, but he had less of a bone to pick with them. 

Nightmare, however… well, that was an entirely different matter.

“... How were you so sure that what Nightmare showed you wasn’t real, Dante?” Vergil knew that he’d regret asking the question before he even asked it, and with every syllable that escaped his lips, he came to dread the answer more than he had a millisecond prior. Still, it might prove to be useful information. Or at least that was what he was going to keep telling himself. In truth, he was simply curious to know if Nightmare had shown them both the same thing during their respective encounters, but he didn’t feel like discussing his reasons as to why. They were deeply personal.

For a moment, Dante considered finding a reason to vacate the premises entirely. The subject matter had certainly taken a turn for the worst. But they had to have this conversation at some point, didn’t they? A part of him had known that it was running the risk of follow up questions when he’d made that statement, and there was simply nothing he could really do about that outside of asking them not to ask. But that just didn’t feel right to him, especially when it came to Vergil. They’d been through so much there that it almost felt like a betrail not to elaborate on what he’d been shown, even when he knew that he should probably keep it to himself.

“Look I don’t know what that has to do with…” The Youngest Son of Sparda stopped when he realized that something in Vergil’s demeanor had changed. It wasn’t something that anyone else in the room could probably pick up on, but they were twins after all. Sometimes they did thighs that only they truly understood, and from what Dante could understand, Vergil wanted him to answer his question. No, it was more than that. He needed to know the answer to this question. It was as though he was haunted by some nameless force that Dante couldn’t quite comprehend, and his answer might provide him with some form of release. Now that he knew that he had the answers that he was seeking, he needed them. 

With a sigh, he gave Vergil an almost unreadable look before continuing, never once breaking eye contact with him. It was probably the first time in several decades that they’d done so with one another.” I knew because… you were already dead, Vergil. I watched you die. You couldn’t have been that thing anymore. How were you supposed to come after me to kill me if you were already… beyond my reach?”

The room fell silent again as everyone became painfully aware of the fact that they were in the middle of a deeply painful and complicated conversation that would have more than likely been better had in private. Vergil gave Dante a look none of them had ever seen before, and one that they could only vaguely understand. To them, he almost looked confused, but to Dante, it was another matter entirely. He’d seen Vergil upset enough times to know that that wasn’t what this was. In an instant, he had been sent catapulting back in time to when they had been children. Specifically the day their mother had explained to them that she didn’t know if their father was coming back. It had come as a direct result of a habit of Vergil’s that he’d had back then, one that Dante had found irritating as a young boy, but now understood much better as an adult who could look back on the situation with a fresh pair of eyes.

Back then, anytime their beloved father Sparda had left the house, Vergil had made a habit of sitting by the door and waiting for him. He would make the pilgrimage across the house carrying a chair he kept especially for that reason. He treasured spending time with their parents, especially their father, and just seemed to know when he was coming back. As such, he had made it his goal in life to be the first to welcome him home whenever he came back from whatever he’d been doing, regardless of how mundane or miniscule his reason for leaving had been. He rarely left for long periods of time, and Vergil was always eager to hear about his travels and experiences, even when the topic actively bored Dante to death. 

After several weeks of avoiding the subject, their mother had come to speak with them. Dante had been begging Vergil to play with him, but he’d refused, noting that he was sure that the instant that he left his post, their father would arrive, and he would miss his chance to surprise him. He’d always acted so surprised to see Vergil back then, even though Dante now realized that he’d known where they all were at all times, and was only doing so for his brother’s betterment. 

When their mother had gently explained the situation to them both after overhearing their little disagreement, trying her best to soften the blow, something had changed in Vergil. There had been no anger in his face that day. Only abject horror and pain at the realization that things were never going to be quite the same at their tranquil family home again. That was when he’d first become so quiet; when he’d first began to develop the habit of burying his emotions under a deep layer of thinly disguised suffering that he now associated with his twin. Vergil had been utterly devastated, and had been far too young to even begin to find a healthy way to channel that heartbreak into something less self-destructive. He’d been suffering long before their mother had died and their family had been torn apart, and that was a reality that Dante had been powerless to do anything about for decades.

That was the same pain that he saw in his brother’s face now, but it was doubly tragic now that he understood what it meant, and that he had grown so adept at hiding it.

Dante wanted to say something, but there was no time. Not then, at least. But sometime soon, they would be alone again, and he quietly assured himself that he would make the time to ask him what he’d seen. He knew deep down that Vergil had experienced something with Nightmare that had caused this kind of reaction in him. Call it a gut reaction, but he just somehow knew that what he’d just said had either confirmed or disproved something fundamental within his twin brother, and he felt the need to follow up with him and find out what had led to this. They’d never talked about what he’d been through on that island that had led to him being in the state that he was in when they’d met up again after all those years, and he felt like it was high time that they did some. And for the first time in an immeasurably long time, he was willing to believe that Vergil might actually be willing to humor him, even if only for a moment.

“Wait. What “thing” is he talking about? I’ve never heard anything about this before.” Nero inquired quietly. He wasn’t exactly whispering, but he was speaking in a tone that was a bit more gentle and indoor appropriate than he normally did. Nero could tell that there was something going on between the two of them, and he didn’t want to negatively impact that, but he just felt a nagging inability to shake that question. This was an opportunity to find out about his father’s past, something that he realized at that moment that he knew literally nothing about aside from the fact that Nico had mentioned to him that Dante had Killed Vergil once. At the time, he’d assumed to some degree that she was taking the piss, but now that it had come out of Dante’s mouth and his father hadn’t denied it…

A lot more about them suddenly made sense to him, and all of it was painful.

V gave Nero a serious look as though he knew something that he didn’t. From what he was willing to guess, it was a warning of some sort, but he couldn’t be sure. And how could his older sibling know any of this himself? Then again, he knew precious little about what had happened in V’s life leading up to now, so it was hard to say. At that moment, Nero felt more out of the loop than ever, and that was saying something considering the amount of time he’d spent around his family without even knowing that he was related to them. He had to imagine this was kind of how V felt towards the rest of the group a large majority of the time. And if that was the case, he pitied him. Hell, he pitied them all right now. It seemed that there was a lot of tragedy in their past that he knew very little about, and he was at odds with the part of himself that wanted to keep it that way and the part of himself that wanted desperately to have the answers to the questions he’d had for so long. It was miserable.

The Eldest Son of Sparda glanced over at both Nero and V, giving them a look that V seemed to understand the implications of more than his younger sibling before sighing heavily and turning his attention back to Dante. He seemed surprised and pained all at once, and Nero got the impression that he was going to find out why soon enough. 

“So you’re telling me that you’ve never explained this to him?” Vergil asked, a hint of something unfamiliar to them in his voice. It seemed that they’d touched on something profound within him, and he hadn’t been expecting to have this conversation with them today.

With a soft huff, Dante nodded in agreement.” I just… For the most part, I tried to avoid that part of my life. It didn’t work very well, but that’s what I did. I think I thought that if I just pretended it never happened, I’d make my peace with what happened between us eventually. Part of me still does.” Dante looked down at the floor, seeking something, anything to distract him from the painful topic of conversation that he found himself in at that moment. Explaining his coping mechanisms to the very person that had been the source of his agony in the first place wasn’t something he’d ever banked on doing, but here he was.” As for Nero…  he didn’t even know who you were until after you came back. Never told him who I was, either. Didn’t know how to bring that up, ya know? Guess I was afraid he’d hate me for it and I’d never see him again. I’d kinda ran out of relatives at that point. That’s probably why he bitch slapped me across the room back in Redgrave. Nero doesn’t appreciate lies. Just an educated guess.”

Nero stared at both of them blankly, unsure as to how he was supposed to process that. V looked at him quietly, seemingly wanting to say something, anything, to make the entire situation less uncomfortable, but not entirely sure where to start. He had no history with this situation and was nowhere near as close to Dante as Nero was. This had to be difficult for them all.

He closed his eyes for a moment before turning away from Dante and back to the both of them, a groaning sigh escaping his lips as he resigned himself to his fate. He felt like he was explaining to Nero that V was his brother all over again, except this might actually be worse. 

“I was not gone your entire lives out of purposeful negligence. I spent most of that time in servitude to the Prince of Darkness who was responsible for the death of our mother after sealing myself in the underworld after a battle with Dante. The decision to serve him was not one that I had any part in, of course.” He took a breath before continuing, half relieved to finally be getting this off of his chest and equally uncomfortable with actually speaking of it. As far as things went that he wanted to keep buried, this was at the very top of the list. But it was time.” After destroying Yamato in a bid to keep the demon king Mundus from obtaining it, he decided to spare me. It was a decision made mostly to spite me and deny me the privilege of dying honorably as was preferable in that situation, but it also served his best interests. But when I refused to serve him, he used his power to corrupt me into an instrument of his own design that he could use as an extension of his will.” 

A slightly ill look crossed Vergil’s face as he came to grips with what he would have to confess next.” I was transformed into a being he referred to as Nelo Angelo, his black angel. And I was to do his bidding and have no choice in the matter. And it continued that way for countless years despite my constant resistance and his ever creative methods of forcing me to do so… until Trish lured Dante to the island and I was ordered to kill him.

The barest form of a smirk ghosted Vergil’s face as he spared Dante a momentary glance.” At that point, I was at an impasse. Mundus was the only one who could release me from his servitude, and I refused to give him the pleasure of begging for it, and killing Dante on his behalf was entirely out of the question. Dante ended that impasse by ending me and then Mundus shortly after. That was fortunate considering the fact that he had just resurrected me for the sole purpose of his own endless desire to watch me suffer. But with no master to be bound to, I was free to venture elsewhere. And I did so… until after I encountered Belial and, defeated, decided to return and usurp the demon thrown. It’s been an eventful few decades, to say the least.”

V closed his eyes and looked down at the ground, unable to face him at the moment. The situation was far too heavy for his liking, and this was a matter that was best explained to Nero instead of himself. He had some degree of prior knowledge as to how this had occurred, and he knew that he and Vergil would have to speak on that some time in the near future. After all, there was a part of him that simply knew his father knew this already.

Nero exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, feeling an unfamiliar pain travel through his entire body as he tried to comprehend the unfathomable horror that had just been painted for him. Yes, he now understood a great deal more about both his father and his uncle, but what he understood also helped him understand why Dante had made a point of never elaborating on the matter to him. He’d always wondered what the devil hunter in red had never liked it when he asked him about his family, and now he understood perfectly.

“... Your mother was murdered?” He could barely make himself speak those words.

Dante nodded.” Yea. We were eight at the time. Demons attacked the house and it almost burned to the ground. They were looking for us, being Sparda’s sons made us targets, too. Wasn’t more than two years after our dad disappeared. We still don’t really know what happened to him. No one’s said a thing about him since. It’s like he just… ceased to exist or something. You’d think you’d at least hear about a demon bragging that they killed him or something, but nope. Nothing.”

It was Vergil’s turn to interject.” I searched for any trace of him for years. That’s how I encountered both of your mothers. But I was never able to find anything that would lead me to his location. I simply don’t know what happened to him… and that does not sit well with me.”

There was a part of Nero’s heart that hurt for both of them. To have their mother burn to death in a house fire so soon after their father’s disappearance and then for Vergil to spend years looking for him only to end up enslaved by what had to be his worst enemy… that kind of horror wasn’t something Nero was sure he could even begin to grasp fully. At the very least, he now understood his father and uncle’s dysfunctional relationship a little bit better.

“At least you two had each other right?” Nero watched their faces for some indication that he might be right, a gnawing emptiness brewing in the pit of his stomach as the revelation that that wasn’t going to happen hit him like a freight train.” Shit… what happened between you two?”

Before either of them could answer, Nico suddenly bolted out the front door, looking exceptionally upset. They all watched her, somewhat surprised and confused as to what could have been said to upset her in such a way. Sirrus waived his hand almost dismissively as he started towards the door, signaling for them to continue. “Don’t get up. Please. I’ll go make sure she’s alright. You lads continue. You clearly need to.”

With that, he rushed out of the door in a manner that was admittedly strange to behold. He took long strides but seemed to clear the distance between the door and where he stood unusually quick. Nero swore that something strange had just happened, but he had no way of knowing for sure. And to be honest, the strange things that the red-headed man did were the least of his concerns at that moment in time.

Dante sighed and shrugged, seemingly tired all of a sudden. “We had a falling out after our house was attacked, is what happened. I thought he was dead, and he thought I was dead, and we’re both idiots who can’t talk about anything important unless we’re throwing blows in the process because it just… hurts too much.” 

Much to Nero’s surprise, Vergil nodded in agreement after pausing for a moment to contemplate Dante’s words.” I had fundamental misconceptions about what happened that day since I was elsewhere on the property, and it never occurred to me to ask Dante what had happened. I wrongly assumed that I’d been left to die by them both… It was foolish of me.” He looked down towards the ground, fiddling uncomfortably with his worn gloves. Anything to make the conversion end.” It’s a topic I tend to give wide berth. And one that has dominated both of our lives for entirely too long. I can only hope it’s over now, at least for the most part. There’s no way forward with it. At least not from what I can see.” 

A soft laugh came from Dante as he shook his head and leaned forward, resting his face on his palms and he allowed his elbows to embed themselves into his knees.” I take back what I said before, brother. That is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

The quiet sound of Matier’s footsteps could be heard as she approached them. She took her staff and wacked both Dante and Vergil upside the head, shaking her head as she gave them a sympathetic but displeased look.” I can see the toll this has taken on you both, Sons of Sparda. I knew your father long before you were born. It would pain him so to see you both fight. He told me as much himself.” She shook her head, sitting down in the seat across from them as Dante gave Vergil a warning look. The Eldest Son of Sparda had obviously been considering retaliating for a moment, his surprised rage getting the better of him.” He said that should you ever come to exist, he’d only want you to be happy. For you to not carry his burdens. That was the world he wanted for you. What he strived towards for you and for everyone else. Be better to each other. He’d like that.”

As both of them looked at her quietly, the truth in her words gripped them. That did sound like something their father would say. He was wise in that way. And they were sure their mother would agree with them. They’d made it this long and this far. They were both still here. They had to make that worth something. And while they weren’t quite ready to say as much to one another, they were sorry.

V watched the entire ordeal quietly before glancing over at Nero. The younger of the two was shaking his head, the weight of the entire situation weighing on him heavily. Their family truly was a mess. So many things that hadn’t made the slightest bit of sense to him now seemed as clear as day, and although he was glad he knew the truth and that they were talking for once, there was a part of him that would have been perfectly happy never knowing the bottomless suffering that was the lives of their father and uncle.” Is it too much to hope that your story won’t be as bleak as theirs just was, V?”

In an act that took everyone by surprise, V rested his hand against Nero’s shoulder before slowly leaning forward and pulling him into a loose hug. Nero went so rigid that it put tungsten to shame and Dante and Vergil looked at them both like they’d grown a second head.” I’m sorry to disappoint you, Nero, but that is indeed too much to hope for. It’s best you lower your expectations now, lest you give yourself false hope.”

Nero sighed and reciprocated the hug, allowing his head to rest on his older brother’s shoulder. Yes, of course, it was. How foolish of him to assume otherwise.” Yea, I shoulda figured as much. How stupid of me. So tell me, V… what’s your damage?”

V gave him a final gentle but reassuring squeeze before releasing him. Today had been an incredibly hard day, and he never would have guessed that such a benign admission of internal guilt could have unleashed the floodgates of so much sorrow and misery. But here they all were, holding their lives hostage with enough collective pain to send a certified physicist straight to the bottom of a stiff bottle of alcohol.” I’m sorry to say that it’s quite a long story. And I don’t’ believe it’s one any of you are going to enjoy.”

-~-

I’ve been looking forward to this damn chapter for like a YEAR. It was time that they finally talk to one another about this. It’s the only way they are ever going to start working things out. There was simply too much pain wrapped up in their pasts to just move on and forget it. And now it’s V’s turn to share the pain.

But first… Nico.

See you all on Friday. Well, if we haven’t all died of second-hand sadness by then! Thanks for the support so far! Your all awesome!

#Devil May Cry AU #Vergil #Dante #Nero #V #Vitale #Nico #Devil May Cry #Devil May Cry 5 #Hiraeth #DMC #DMC5 #DMCV #Post Devil May Cry 5

[randomly-random-jen]

The Completely Inaccurate Misadventures [3/?]

[part 1] [part 2]

3. Abandonment Issues

Hours passed. Then days. And Church had to come to terms with it.

“She’s not coming back.”

Tex was stretched out in the grass, staring at the sky. “Church-”

“No. She’s just not. What if something happened to her? I’m supposed to run her equipment. Keep her safe. What if she went on with the mission without me and got hurt? Oh god.” He felt sick.

“Carolina’s a big girl. She can take care of herself, and she’s been running her equipment on her own since she got it. She’ll be fine.”

He looked away. “Right. She doesn’t need me.”

Tex rolled over then crawled to where he was sitting. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s true.”

Then she slapped him. He fell back, cheek stinging. “What the fuck, Tex? What was that for?”

“Would you snap out of it. You sound like an emo sixteen-year-old whose boyfriend broke up with her. I’m just waiting for the depressing music to start.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to be Church. I want you to stop crying and get angry and curse and being fucking annoying.”

They stared at each other for a long time. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t explain the way he was feeling.

“You miss her.”

He bit his lip then pressed his hands into his eyes. “I love her,” he mumbled. 

Tex gave him a look he felt more than saw.

“Not like that. What is wrong with you?” He got up and stomped away, but there was only so far he could go from the memory unit. There was a little stream about ten meters from home base. He sat at the edge wishing he could feel the water on his feet. Wishing he could do anything at all besides wait.

After a while, Tex appeared next to him. “The memory unit is running out of power.”

“I know. I’ve shut down as many subroutines as I can.” He shrugged. “Not much else I can do.”

“What will happen?”

“I guess we cease to exist.” He reached down and tied his shoe again. “Probably for the best.”

She wrapped him in a hug. “Don’t say that, Church.”

He sighed. “I don’t know what else to do. I can’t believe she abandoned me.”

“I’m sorry,” Tex whispered. “It’s my fault. I told you she hates me.”

Church didn’t respond to that. It was pointless to argue with Tex.

“She’s an amazing woman,” Tex said softly.

“Yeah. No thanks to me. Unless you count being a heartless bastard that ignores his kid an influence on how strong she becomes.”

“How many times do I have to tell you-”

“That wasn’t me. Right, whatever.” He shoved her off. “I can’t take credit for the good parts of her and ignore the pain I caused. God, Tex, you weren’t there. You don’t remember. You don’t even have memories of your own. You’re my memories of you. And I’m just the memories of someone else. How fucked up is that?”

She was gone without a sound.

“Good riddance.” Except he didn’t mean it at all. He pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his knees. He could feel the memory unit slowly pulling him back as the power ran lower. He wasn’t sure he cared anymore. There was a tingling at the base of his skull that wouldn’t go away. Reluctantly, he popped back to the memory unit. “What?”

Tex looked more defeated than he’d ever seen. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

“What? You hate goodbyes.”

“I know.” She wouldn’t look at him. “The power’s failing so I’m leaving.”

“How?” His head was spinning. What was she even talking about? “The program will just start rewriting.”

She shook her head. “No. There’s not enough power. It’ll try, but the power fluctuations will corrupt the file, stopping it.”

“Corrupt the-?” He swallowed hard. “You’re not coming back this time, are you?”

She still wouldn’t look at him.

“Please don’t do this, Tex. I’m sorry about what I said. I was just mad at myself and taking it out on you.”

“This will give you the best chance of survival. At least a few more days.”

“To do what? Sit here and feel sorry for myself?”

“To see if Carolina comes back.”

Church looked away. “She’s not.”

Tex sighed. “Church.” She looked like she wanted to say more but didn’t.

The silence grew tense. Church hurt. He wasn’t sure how a program could feel so much pain, but it could. “Please, Tex. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.”

She was already gone, but the tickle in the back of his mind gave one last twist. He was sure he heard the echo of her voice whisper, “I love you.” But he probably imagined that.

“Well, Fuck.”

He wished he could pick up the memory unit and throw it in the stream. Maybe it would fry the circuits and kill him faster. He considered turning everything back on and wasting what power he still had, but that seemed like a waste of Tex’s sacrifice. He sat next to the memory chip. He kind of laughed at the fact that he manifested himself sitting. Or doing anything really. Technically projecting himself from the unit was wasting a lot of extra power. He didn’t care. Tex’s sacrifice. Remember Tex’s sacrifice.

“Goddamn it.”

The inside of the unit was bleak. Darker and quieter than he even remembered. And there wasn’t power to do anything about it. He was dying. Part of him was relieved. It’d finally be over. No last-minute Hail Mary pass from Caboose to save him this time. The hours dragged on—the power lasting a lot longer than the few days Tex predicted. Too much time to think.

Too much time for him to lose containment of the memories. Little by little, they pushed into his conscious mind. He tried to stop them at first, but he was tired. They swirled in like a fatal fog, and he lay in the middle of it, just watching as every evil thing he’d ever done, every mistake, every torture relived. He was unwinding. The loss of power was making him unstable. He remembered this feeling.

He didn’t try to stop it last time, and it nearly took Wash’s mind with it. Yet another person to add to the list of people he’d destroyed. And he couldn’t blame that on the real Leonard Church. That was all Epsilon.

“Guess the list gets pretty long when you have three lifetimes to account for,” he said to no one.

Then he couldn’t move anymore. His brain felt sluggish. The memories were gone. It was all gone. Long term storage failed which was sort of a relief except now he couldn’t remember why he cared to stay alive

“Well this fucking sucks,” he yelled. “Can’t I even get one break. One fucking lousy break in this world.”

No one answered back.

“I don’t want to die,” he whispered to the dark as everything faded away.

#red vs blue #rvb #red vs blue fanfic #epsilon!church #agent texas #lot of angst #talk of death #in which epsilon has regrets #and tex says goodbye #unfinished

[siverwrites]

Another Trial

@fyeahghosttrick Ghost Swap treat for @arbuthnotblob!

I never expected to see anyone other than ourselves prompt for our ever expanding FFVI AU and it’s so cool to see more interest in it. To the point of prompting! Wow! Obviously I couldn’t resist throwing my hat into the ring.

It’s still in the middle of things which I hope is okay. World got wrecked on an apocalyptic scale. Cabs and Cidgeon fell on an island and Cabs was in coma for a year looked after by Cidgeon (Solitude). Now they’ve set off hoping to find more land and the rest of the group.

An attempt to touch more on Cabanela’s whole deal which is a Lot. Hope you enjoy and thank you again for the interest! (And I hope one day you can play FFVI! It’s still one of my favourite SNES games alongside Chrono Trigger)

On AO3

The waves washed around their raft. The sky overhead remained the same sunset tones each passing day only changing at night to cast the ocean into a deeper and more threatening darkness that remained dull all the same. The island had been bursting with interest compared to this journey, Cidgeon thought to himself.

Still there was one good thing. Cabanela had finally fallen asleep at last. They were supposed to alternate, yet too many times Cidgeon took his watch in company. The stubborn fool. Then again maybe it wasn’t just stubbornness. Cabanela turned his head with a low groan and a shiver, furrows lining his brow. Was it stubbornness to keep going or avoidance of the things sleep brought? Possibly both.

Cidgeon sighed and shuffled closer. He didn’t want to wake him; Cabanela needed this sleep, disturbed or not. And what then anyway? He pulled the blanket more securely around Cabanela, fighting off the old sense of helplessness that had become far too common over the past year. He’d never been very good at this from the earliest days when the young boy’s nights were broken with nightmares and he relived the attack on Tzen. All he could do was sit by and listen if the boy woke and if he could bring himself to talk haltingly between tears or long lulls of silence. Listen and wonder how it all came to this.

Years later and he still couldn’t say what possessed him to take the boy in like that. What did he know of children, let alone one newly orphaned and home annexed? He’d berated himself multiple times in those early days. A child would only hinder his works and his efforts to maintain his secrets. And yet… And yet something had drawn him to the boy. Simple pity or something more—three decades later and he still couldn’t say, but it wasn’t a decision he regretted for one moment.

No, it was those lines etched in deep he regretted, watching him run the ragged line of exhaustion. It was failing to convince him not to go for the magic infusions in the first place. It was not being be able to help him when he needed him most, not even recognizing who it was who truly needed that aid. It was a year-long coma. It was sitting on a raft in the middle of the ocean in a world torn apart, not knowing what land was left to find and who was still out there.

The telltale prickle of magic shook Cidgeon from his thoughts. Cabanela’s eyes flashed open. Words of a spell came out monotonous and rapid.

“Stop!”

He clapped a hand over Cabanela’s mouth, grimacing at the anger and panic rising in his eyes. Well, better some extra temporary distress than the alternative. Cabanela struggled to pull away, fingers flexing and sparks dancing off the tips.  

“Cabanela, stop. You’ll drown us.”

Blank eyes met his, blinked and narrowed as recognition dawned. Cabanela relaxed. Cidgeon removed his hand.

“Professor…?”

“Try not frying our only mode of transportation.”

Cabanela sat up. “Sorry, I… was elsewhere.”

“I noticed,” Cidgeon said dryly. “Nightmares?”

“Suppooose.” A long pause and he spoke again, his voice low with a harsh edge. “I was with him.”

Ah. He couldn’t say lightning bolts weren’t an entirely unreasonable response were they not in the middle of the ocean. Cabanela fell silent. Lovey-Dove fluttered onto his shoulder with a soft coo and he stroked her feathers absently while staring into the distance. He finally spoke again.

“Is it possible to remember anything from bein’ crowned?”

Cidgeon frowned worriedly at him. He’d hoped not. He knew only stories and rumours of some things, but others... “Briiiing in the boys from Tzen!” The Jester’s crowing still rang sharp and terrible in his memories with the nightmarish sight of mindless obedience and a rain of lightning. No, don’t let Cabanela remember that senseless slaughter.

“Do you remember something?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” Cabanela’s fingers stilled before resuming their stroking. Lovey-Dove nuzzled his jaw. “Maybe it’s everything throwin’ me for a loop. In Vector there were things that were so familiar, but I couldn’t say how. I’ve been havin’ dreams that feel real… feels like Tzen.”

“Have you been dreaming of Tzen again? It’s been a long time.”

“They’ve been comin’ baaack. And Maranda I think. I’ve heard the rumours and stories. I know I was used to torch the place.” His hand dropped from Lovey-Dove and he bowed his head with a pained grimace, fingers digging into his hair. “But I can’t quite…”

“You don’t need to,” Cidgeon said sharply. “The Slave Crown is ancient. I can’t say how much you should or shouldn’t be able to remember. I doubt those fools even fully understood what they had. Memories may remain in your subconscious, but those acts are on the Jester’s, Asbolus’s and Sith’s heads.” A figure masked and robed in white, ever present at the Jester’s side. He’d been right in front of him all along and he’d missed it. “That wasn’t you.” A silent slave with no will of his own: that wasn’t him.

“Maybe not,” Cabanela said after a pause. He turned dark eyes on Cidgeon. “I wasn’t lookin’ to see another city burn.”

“No,” Cidgeon agreed. What else could be said?

Lovey-Dove gave another coo of concern and traded Cabanela’s shoulder for her perch back among Cidgeon’s hair.

“It’s all right, old girl,” he muttered.

He reached for their supplies, pulled out two cups and cast a small-scale aqua rake into each, letting them fill with water.

“It’s not much,” he said passing one to Cabanela. “But heat that up. Something warm will do you some good.”

Cabanela cupped it close and a puff of steam arose shortly after. Cidgeon’s cup received the same treatment and he thought Cabanela would finish there. Instead he gripped Cidgeon’s shoulder for a moment and a wash of welcome warmth coursed through his clothing.

They sat in silence for a spell. It was only when Cabanela started to nod off only to jerk awake that Cidgeon spoke again.

“Get some sleep.”

“I’m fine. Few hours, riiight as rain, baby.”

“Yeah, sure, if it was a few hours,” Cidgeon countered. And not so consistently only a few and so scattered. “Look,” he continued, “I know you don’t like the idea, but a sleep spell tends toward a dreamless sleep. I can—.”

“I can’t say I neeeed more voids,” Cabanela said blithely.

“It’s not the same and you know it.”

“It’s close enough,” Cabanela snapped.

Cidgeon stared at him unperturbed. Fine, let him rant and rail; it was better than trying to bury it all under the thin and cracking veneer he’d been trying to uphold since he finally woke on the island.

“Three years.” Cabanela abruptly cut off with a deep breath, and instead fell silent once more while fixing a hard stare toward the horizon as if willing land to appear right then and there.

“You were helpless for three years,” Cidgeon said. Cabanela’s hands clenched. Two years enslaved, one a coma, all three empty. While he could see Cabanela’s hesitance, it wasn’t doing him a lick of good. Cidgeon plowed on. “And if you keep up like this you’ll be so again and then what do you think you’ll do when we do find land?”

“This is nothin’ I can’t handle.”

“I didn’t spend a year watching over you not knowing when or if you’d wake to let it happen again.”

“It won’t.”

“Exactly.”

“I…” Cabanela, grit his teeth, shuddered and drew inward. Tense. A wound up spring with nowhere to unwind.

Cidgeon found himself almost wishing they were back on the island. At least there Cabanela could leave and go vent some steam. Trapped on this small raft there was nowhere to go, leaving him with a Cabanela who was both overtired and restless—not a combination he relished or wished upon anyone.

“I won’t force it,” Cidgeon said.

“Nooo? And why should you when you can force my hand instead?”

Now Cidgeon felt first the seed of anger bloom. “Remember who you’re speaking to, boy, then you can tell me you’re ‘just fine’.”

Cabanela’s mouth twisted and the ocean received another angry glare. Cidgeon let the sullen silence stretch. He said his piece. It was up to Cabanela to make the next move. As expected it didn’t take long before he spoke again, tone low.

“Dad…”

Cidgeon sighed. It had been so rare to hear it. Now it had been, what, three times at least since he woke and it still gave him an odd sort of pang. Not… bad, but he wondered if he’d ever get used to hearing it.

“I’m sorry,” Cabanela said. “You’re right, I’m not at my best.”

Cidgeon snorted.

“You’re nothin’ like the doc or him.” Cabanela gave a wan smile. “Why manipulaaate when you can call someone three kinds of fool?”

“I wouldn’t have to if they didn’t prove themselves to be one.”

“Point taken, prof, point taken.” He leaned back on his hands, face drawn and eyes tired, but with a set in his shoulders that told Cidgeon he’d made up his mind. “This one time. Dooo it.”

Cidgeon shook his head. Fool, fool and more fool indeed. If he’d listened in the first place they wouldn’t have had to go through all this. Goddesses forbid simplicity.

“Lie back then.” Judging by his heavier lids and slower movements as Cabanela complied it wouldn’t take much to push him over the edge anyway.

When Cabanela was settled Lovey-Dove fluttered down to settle on his chest. She received another stroking and a small smile.

“Cooomfy there, ladybird?”

“Maybe you can keep him down,” Cidgeon said.

“Coo!”

“Wake me if something happens,” Cabanela directed at Cidgeon.

”You don’t have to tell me. Now get some sleep,” he said firmly and cast the spell.

Cabanela went slack as the spell took hold. Cidgeon eyed him. His stillness was uncomfortably reminiscent of the past year. Cidgeon never wanted a repeat of anything like that again, yet there was a certain appeal in the thought of him staying asleep until they found land. Trapped in a contained space with a man who needed things to do and didn’t have them was turning into its own special kind of trial as today’s fit of temper showed. Cidgeon let out a long sigh and looked away. Let him rest for however long this lasted. He was the most peaceful he had seen him in too long. Ridiculous man.

Just Lovey-Dove and the ocean for company now in a more welcome quiet. There was enough wind to take care of them for the time being, so he sat and let his thoughts drift with the waves, finding a different sort of rest there.

Three to four hours later by Cidgeon’s count Lovey-Dove took off from her perch on Cabanela to fly high circles above their raft. An excited chirp caught Cidgeon’s attention as she swooped back down.

“What is it, Lovey?”

 She flapped in place, shot forward a small distance then flew back.

Cidgeon squinted. His eyes were most definitely not what they used to be, but there was something in the distance. It was nothing more than a vast dark smudge on the horizon and there was a ways to go yet to reach it if reachable it was. Still, it was more than they’d seen thus far.

“Could be anything. Could be storm clouds for all we know. Let’s hope it’s something better, eh?”

“Coo!”

Lovey-Dove took her place back in Cidgeon’s hair with another cheery chirrup.

“We won’t wake him,” Cidgeon said, giving Lovey-Dove a small pat. “It’s not enough of anything to be ‘something’ yet.”

Not yet, but as the wind pushed them onward Cidgeon’s hope grew that this time Cabanela would wake to good news at last. They were going to make it.

#ghost swap #arbuthnotblob #fyeahghosttrick #ghost trick #gtau #GTxFFVI fic #gtxffvi #cabanela #pigeon man #lovey-dove #ghosttrick10th

[catte-bard]

Future Musings

(Something self-indulgent af I decided to write. Didn’t know where I was going with it but I used this prompt to help get me started)

All was quiet and still. Moonlight spilled into the room through the parted curtains, offering some illumination in the dark. Thancred knew not what time is was—late in the night he imagined. The Crystarium fell into peace around this time. Most of the denizens of the city having already taken to their beds.  

Bellona laid on his chest, her stillness told him that she was fast asleep. However, sleep for Thancred remained somewhat elusive. Perhaps, a few times he had managed to doze off but he found his mind constantly snapping awake. 

Thancred had not experienced such restlessness since his first days on the First. The surreal experience of being on a completely different world had almost been too much for him. 

He hummed softly to himself to entertain his restless mind. It was an old song he didn’t know the name of. Limsan sounding—probably something he had heard years ago in his youth that he took a liking to. 

His hand ran through Bellona’s hair, fingers combing lovingly through dark locks and brushing against her ears. He always enjoyed touching her there, her ears were so incredibly soft it was almost soothing to touch them. And he was proud to say he was one of the few people she’d permit to do such a thing. 

Why some days he swears she even purrs when he touches her like that. However, Bellona would always deny it. 

He felt her perk up suddenly and make a soft noise. “Are you humming?” She quietly asked. Her voice still laced with sleep. 

Thancred ran a hand down her head, smoothing out her hair. “Apologies,” He whispered, “Did I wake you?”

A long yawn.  “You move around a lot when you’re awake. But it’s fine. It’s...it’s rather nice. You should hum more often.” 

His hand trails down to her back where he rubs small circles. “There’s just been a lot on my mind lately.”

“Like what?” He heard her hum.

Thancred smiled. “You don’t have to make yourself stay up just to entertain my thoughts.”

A grunt. “But if you don’t speak your mind you’ll stay awake and that’s going to keep me awake.”

That’s fair. 

He chuckled. “Well I suppose I was just thinking about what happens next once this is all over.” 

Bellona yawned again. “We head back to the Source, stop whatever new machinations the Empire has created, and make sure a certain Garlean prince stays in his grave.” She said in a matter-of-fact way.

Thancred shook his head. “I meant when all of this was over. Our business on the First, dealing with the Empire, defeating the Ascians…”

Bellona made a thoughtful sound. “I don’t know...I never thought that far into the future.” She mumbled. “Honestly, I always thought I’d get myself killed long before any of this ended.”

That surprised Thancred. Though he supposed he was guilty of such pessimistic thoughts sometimes. He’d been on plenty of dangerous missions where he wondered if he were cutting his life short by keeping at such things.

“Come now, you must’ve at least fantasized about the perfect respite once this is all over?” Thancred tried to coax. “You must want something once this is all over?”

She tilted her head in thought. “I guess I’d want to go somewhere else—settle down in a place where no one would know who I am...A peaceful place where I wouldn’t always be known as the Warrior of Light.

“Maybe somewhere in Yanxia? I always thought it was beautiful there. And it always seemed like a good, quiet place to live.” He could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke. “And you could come along if you’d like.”

The man arched a brow. “Oh I’m invited am I?”

“Of course, I promised you I’d take you to the Far East with me one day.” 

“I see...Well I don’t mind settling down in Yanxia then. We could get a little cottage,” Thancred murmured as he combed his fingers through her hair, “Somewhere far away from the cities and their chaos. Somewhere by the sea, with a beautiful view. And I suppose I’ll have to take up a new career too. If we’re going to be able live comfortably and put food on the table.”

“And what is it you exactly plan to do? I don’t think you’re very good at many trades.” She looks up at him, resting her chin upon his chest.

He chuckled. “Maybe I can take up fishing? I’m rather decent at that. Life as a fisherman does sound rather pleasant doesn’t it?”

“Perhaps, but you’ll come home always stinking of fish.” Bellona wrinkled up her nose.

“I could always bathe?”

“You’d still have the entire cottage reeking of fish. Asides, I hate fish, so I’d rather it not become a large part of our diet.”

“You hate fish? But you’re Miqo’te!”

That earned him a half-hearted slap.

Thancred laughed, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss atop her head. “Alright, aright. That was poor of me, I take it back. Anyroad, I think it’ll be nice. A simple life. We settle down, start a family, and have nothing else to worry about.” He mused. “I like the sound of that.”

The mention of starting a family surprised Bellona. She blinked, feeling a strange fluttering within her chest. “You...want children?” She sheepishly asked.

Thancred winced, catching himself. His face suddenly felt very hot. “Well I...uh well that is unless that’s not something you want. A family does not need children to be complete.” 

Bellona chewed her lip and  looked away from him. Briefly, Thancred worried he may have broached a rather uncomfortable subject. He was about to apologize and change the subject when she spoke up.

“You really see us becoming parents in the future?” Bellona’s voice was soft, a hint of amusement in it. “I mean marriage and settling down is one thing. But parenthood is another; especially with a pair as disastrous as us.”

Thancred smiled. “Well, it’s not a definite thing I would want.” He replied. “It’s been more something I’ve entertained. A “what if” situation I suppose.”

Bellona returned a smile and laid her head back down on his chest. “Tell me about it then.”

“Well, I’ve always imagined a daughter—maybe two?” He hesitantly replied.

“No boys?” Her tone teasing. 

He snorted. “Their father would be a terrible role model for them.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I still fell in love with you despite all your obvious flaws.” Bellona jested.

And what a lucky man I am for that. Honestly, there were still some days when he wondered what she saw in him. But he’d not complain about it.

“Girls are easier to raise—so I’ve heard anyway.” Thancred went on. “I wouldn’t want twins though. That way I could relive spoiling the other when the eldest one felt too old for such things. I’d protect them. Cherish them. They’d be the most important thing in my life...next to their mother.” 

A snort slipped from her. “You speak as if you think I’d be a good mother.”

“I think you would.” Thancred glanced down at her. “You’re kind and caring and responsible. I think you’d be a lovely person for them to look up to—so long as they don’t inherit your stubbornness.”

He laughed at the affronted sound she made and rubbed her back to soothe her.

She looked up at him, meeting his eyes and her expression suddenly serious. “You’d really want that with me?” Bellona asked, her voice hushed and timid. “A family?”

Honestly, it seemed like a foolish fairy tale. A quaint little cottage, the pitter patter of children’s feet running around, a peaceful life...But Thancred wanted to believe they had a happy ending in all of this.

“Of course.” He said and he cupped her cheek. “And if you aren’t comfortable with any of that it’s fine. As long as I get to be with you it will be all I’ll ever need.”

She seemed stunned into silence. In the moonlight, he thought he saw the glistening of tears in her eyes but she buried her face into his chest before he could be sure. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, trying to coax her to look up at him again.

“Nothing.” Came her muffled response. “I guess..it just makes me glad to know you feel that way.”

Thancred blinked. “How else am I supposed to feel?” 

When she said nothing he chuckled and wrapped her arms around her again. “Is it such an odd thought for me to love you that much?” He asked. “I want a life with you—I want a life for us. That is...if you’d allow it.”

Bellona was quiet for a few moments. So still that Thancred wondered if she had nodded off to sleep again. But then he felt her arms shift to hug him.

“I...I think I’d like that.” She softly said. 

Another warm chuckle rumbled through him and he rested his chin atop her head. A content sigh slipping from him as he enjoyed the feeling of her closeness. “I’m glad.” He murmured. 

And with a new warmth in his breast, he soon found himself able to finally close his eyes and sleep. 

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #thancred waters #thancred x wol #wol x thancred #writing #(To Open My Heart Again)

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 season 6 - theories and predictions.

No episode this week, I know, it sucks. So, I’ve decided to do jot down some thoughts and conspiracies I have. Feel free to argue with me. I love hearing I’m wrong and why.

Episode 6 is called Memento Mori, Latin for "remember that you will die", is the medieval Latin Christian theory and practice of reflection on mortality, especially as a means of considering the vanity of earthly life and the transient nature of all earthly goods and pursuits.

Episode 7: Nevermind -  used to tell someone not to worry about something because it is not important.

Episode 8: The old man and the anomaly aka Gabriel and time travel.

Episode 9: What you take with you - when you die?

Episode 10: Matryoshka: also known as Russian nesting dolls, stacking dolls, or Russian dolls, are the set of wooden dolls of decreasing size placed one inside another.

Episode 11: Ashes to ashes -  derives from the English Burial Service. The text of that service is adapted from the Biblical text, Genesis 3:19 (King James Version): In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

Episode 12: Adjustment protocol

Episode 13: The blood of Sanctum

All of the above refers to mortality and death. The entire season will thus focus on both the continuance and destruction of the primes. 

Murphine in cahoots

Luckily Murphy loves Emori, because that hookup would have made me nauseous. I HOPE IT DOESN’T HAPPEN. Okay, he will do whatever it takes to avoid hell and get eternal life. Call me a big old Murphy marshmallow, but I refuse to believe he’ll put his family in harm's way. 

Josephine will have to promise their safety in order to gain his co-operation. The rest he doesn’t care about. Including Clarke. I know he saved her during the eclipse but he needed her help to rescue Bellamy. He seems pretty mad at her, I’m sure he doesn’t want her dead, but she’s not on his list of top priorities.

Josephine needs to learn how to create nightbloods and only Abby knows how to do that. And Abby will swim across the Atlantic to save Kane. Ding Dong, create another nightblood to save Kane, but who will that be? One of McCreary’s crew, a fellow Wonkru warrior or will Abby sacrifice herself? Not sure if a man can utilize a woman’s body.

She is so determined to save the love of her life, that she ignores the gravity of her own daughter writing with the wrong hand. Further, she has already expressed her opinion on how Kane deserves to live while they don’t. She bears a lot of guilt for the things she has done. But Abby wasn’t comfortable with their experiments in Becca’s lab. It will take a lot of persuasion; can she be convinced to take another life?

Maybe Murphy and Josephine will tell Bellamy that there’s a way to bring Clarke back to get him on board. They’ll have to temporarily kill her parents to continue with their scheme. Russel is firmly against Josephine’s breeding plans and creating new nightbloods means murdering red-blooded people. 

Head over heart Bellamy would not be okay with this, but I think he might lose his head over the loss of Clarke. More on this later. Jordan will do whatever it takes to save Delilah, so he might board this “saving” ship too. Raven will torture herself when she finds out about this and probably go above and beyond to help bring her back. Echo and Emori might be indifferent.

Josephine vs Clarke

A lot of you have argued against my Mount Weather theory last week. I’m still not convinced it’s not time travel via the anomaly but I’m not psychic. So, my other option is that Josephine will experience Clarke’s past as dreams. Bellamy explains, in trig, that it’s how his victims haunt him. Perhaps a little foreshadowing.

Russel was in a hurry and distraught to clear the host (kill Clarke) and bring his daughter back. In my 6x05 review, I did a bit of research on the meaning of Gabriel’s biology terms and came to the conclusion that Clarke is not dead, only in a deep vegetative state. Gabriel stressed the fact that they had to wait for the serum to reach the claustrum. Perhaps it didn’t take full effect.

Josephine did not sleep her first night back, but when she does it might be restless and filled with Clarke’s demons. Clarke Griffin is a fighter, trust her not to back down. Not to give up. She’s gonna taunt you until you wanna crash the Ferrari. We know both Jake and Maya comes back, so this is probably where we’ll see them. Unfortunately, in the process, she’ll have to relive it herself.

The crazy smoothie that cleanses the body of all evils

Ingredients:

1 x Red Queen

1 x Terrorist

1 x Rebel named Xavier

1 x Old man

1 x Temporal Anomaly

Mix all the ingredients together and you have the perfect solution for a prime pest problem. Octavia and Diyoza are desperate to find Gabriel and if it means time traveling through the temporal anomaly, then so be it.

Octavia’s hand aged when it came into contact with the temporal flare. So, I’m fairly certain they’re either going back or forward in time. IMDB shows Hope as a little girl in 6x08, which means Diyoza visits the future and Octavia might go back to the bunker to slaughter Bloodreina.

Once they make it through, they finally encounter the old man himself, who has all the answers with regards to the primes, Sanctum and ridding Clarke of the devil that possesses her.

I have a strong idea that this will be how the Blakes bury the hatchet. Octavia will help Bellamy and the others to revive Clarke. Meaning Bellamy will see the good that still exists inside her. Even when he couldn’t see it, I never gave up hope of Octavia returning. A lot of you did not agree with his decision to abandon her, but I think it’s the best thing he could have done for her.

Madi vs Sheidheda

I’m still not sure what’s going on here. I’ve seen some theories about using her bone marrow in an attempt to create other nightbloods. It could be, but they have a lot of nightbloods to put to use. And Abby won’t use Madi, that’s for sure.

Also, Madi has machinery strapped to her head in the trailer, which made me think that Josephine doesn’t know how to reverse engineer “memory chip” technology like Gabriel did and will need to explore the flame to create one for Murphy.

Or perhaps Josephine fails in convincing Abby, finds out that Madi has Becca’s memories in her head and tries to download them from the flame? 

Either way, Madi’s nightmares are enhanced during the experiments and she will obviously battle the dark commander for power. Without Clarke and Gaia’s guidance, she might lose, become him and in turn the villain of season 7. I just hope it doesn’t cause her death. Can you imagine Clarke returning to find Madi’s gone? She’s had to live through numerous deaths: Jake, Finn, Lexa, Marper, Jasper, please don’t do this to her.

The romance section

I don’t think we’ll see Delilah again. Jordan will do everything in his power to bring her back, just like Clarke, but I have a feeling she’s gone. For good. So, RIP Jolilah.

Emori is also on my deathdar for some reason. It’s no secret that I ship Murven, but I really don’t mind Memori. They’ve had their problems in season 5 and Murphy’s fear of dying might push them apart again.  Look, some people die each season and so far it seems like there’s no further story for Emori.

Raven and Murphy have always been better when they’re in the presence of the other, but I like them as friends as well. Murphy somehow calms Raven and she inspires him to do better. 

I know it’s harsh and I want Raven to be happy, but unless Raven and Ryker are endgame, I hope they don’t set them up romantically. The writers probably had a bit of a muddle with Shaw leaving for another show while wanting to give Raven a happy arc this season. Somehow, I do think all the primes will be killed (the blood of Sanctum) with the exception of Ryker since he seems a bit hesitant towards their living style. If that’s where it’s heading then I’m fine with it because they did have instant chemistry and a lot of it. More than she had with Shaw. Don't @ me. But please show it to us over time.

Please don’t hate me but I don’t think Niyalah and Octavia will become romantic either. As far as I know, Jessica Harmon is working on Izombie and I think her death is soon. Besides Octavia has to mend in herself before she can focus on relationships with other people. Including her brother.

I spy with my little eye a Becho breakup

I’ve feared that Bellamy and Echo might be a long term pairing many times before, and I’ve even sort of accepted it because I refused to let it ruin the show for me. Now, more than ever, I believe they’re on their way out. In the 6x06 promo, Echo is in the woods, searching for Octavia? She may even team up with them.

Echo does not understand Bellamy’s complexity in a way that Clarke does. On the ring, they lived in harmony, whereas now they have countless tribulations to overcome and they’re not the same people. 

Also, there’s been continuous scenes where she’s shown as inferior and submissive to both him and Clarke. They bark the orders and she follows, Emori even called her out on it in 6x02. A relationship can only last between two equals.

If that’s not enough, there’s no way in hell, no mountain too high, no river too deep for Bellamy Blake to bring Clarke back. He’ll fight who has to be fought, kill who has to be killed, leave no stone unturned. One of those obstacles might even be Echo trying to convince him she’s gone. Bellamy will refuse to lose her again. When Echo sees this, she’ll realize what Clarke means to him and either confront him or cut him loose.

There is no more beautiful romance than Bellarke

Think of all the most romantic books you’ve read or movies you’ve watched. What was the trope? I bet you’ll find it in Bellarke.

Titanic - “You jump, I jump right?” - “If I’m on that list, you’re on that list.”

Beauty and the beast - Enemies to friends to lovers

Tangled - Deep, longing looks during firelight 

Love in the time of cholera - A love triangle due to logicality and comfort vs love

Romeo and Juliet - A girl from a wealthy family falls for a boy from poverty. Both willing to die for the other.

The Notebook - “I wrote you one letter every day for a year.” - “When you were on the ring, she called you every day for six years.”

The Time Traveler’s wife - Two lovers constantly separated by time and space but love always prevails.

I can sit here all night. The fact of the matter is that they love each other. Of course Bellamy notices that Clarke is not herself first. Even after six years apart, he is attuned to her and knows her on such a deep and intense level that he can’t be fooled. 

When she leaves to head to the school, he follows. He allows himself to be vulnerable with her when she apologizes. Clarke’s biggest regret is leaving him to die. She trusts him to bring her child home safely. He trusts her to bargain for their safety. Bellamy stares while she dances with someone else and asks about it later. Then his reaction to her overshare of the details is a mixture of confusion and jealousy. 

But the best part of all is the horror and heartbreak when he finds out he’s lost her. Again. That part of his heart, only reserved for Clarke, will now come to the surface and there will be no more denial.

To wrap up, I can only speculate based on what I’ve seen and heard. So, I can’t include all the characters that have been MIA. Indra most of all. I miss her. Please let me know if you think I’m crazy. I’d love to hear it.

#The 100 #the 100 season 6 #the100 #The 100 s6 #the 100 season six #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #josephine!clarke #josephine lightbourne #octavia blake #charmaine diyoza #octavia x diyoza #raven reyes #john murphy #abby griffin #russel lightbourne #the 100 season six spoilers #the 100 s6 spoilers #echo

[eldritchsurveys]

685.

what was going through your mind during the presidential campaign? were you relieved when it was over? >> This survey is from early 2009 and let me tell you, I don’t even remember the 2008 election anymore. I’ll be fucking relieved when this year’s is over, though (although depending on who wins, the noise might keep going right through the end of the year, so I may get no relief).

what do you think of the Duggar family ( 17+ kids )? could you handle taking care of that many children? >> I have my share of uncharitable thoughts about families with that many children, but I’d rather not give voice to that kind of rudeness. It’s nothing to do with me, anyway. I couldn’t handle taking care of one child, so that’s that on that.

in your opinion, do you think that you act your age? what do other people think? >> I don’t know what it is to act a certain number of years old. I don’t know what other people think regarding this and I really don’t care.

what is the nicest thing you have ever done for a stranger? >> Nothing comes to mind.

so far, what is the number one, best decision you have ever made? how has it effected your life? >> I find it difficult to think of my life in terms of decisions I’ve made, and direct results of those decisions. That’s just not how things work -- I’ve made choices, but the things that happened after those choices are not necessarily direct results of the choices I made. The element of other people and the element of randomness play equal parts, too.

have you reunited with any old friends recently? was it awkward, or just like old times? >> No.

when was the last time you talked to your first ex? >> ---

how different is your online personality from your offline personality? >> It’s the same personality, dude. It might manifest somewhat differently because of the difference in communication style (typed dialogue vs face-to-face dialogue), and that’s all.

have you made any headway on any new year's resolutions? >> I don’t make resolutions.

what are your favorite holiday-themed movies? >> It’s a Wonderful Life, Rise of the Guardians, Klaus, Love Actually.

do you listen to christmas-/winter-themed music when the season comes around? >> I sure do.

if you could create a law, what would it be, and why? what if you could take one away? which, and why? >> I have zero interest in the law.

is there anything that you do that's potentially controversial? >> Well, sure, depending on one’s worldview. I’m sure some special people out there don’t think I should even be alive, in which case my very existence is controversial.

would you ever sign up for a reality television show? if yes: which one, why, and how would you act while on tv? >> No. Absolutely fucking not. NO.

what is your most recent obsession? >> Hmm... Heartman from Death Stranding, maybe. Low-grade obsession, but it counts.

do you say "merry christmas" or "happy holidays"? to you, does it really matter which one is said / you say? do you do your best to remain politically correct? >> I repeat whatever is said to me first, because that’s usually how such interactions go -- I rarely initiate any sort of seasonal greeting like this.

if you could relive one week of your life, which would it be, and why? would you do anything differently, or keep it all the same? >> I would really rather not.

is there a part of your life you wish you could remember, but can't? >> Sometimes I get frustrated with the patchiness and distance, so to speak, of my memory, but I’ve come to expect it. Most of these memories aren’t specifically mine, after all.

what was the last thing / event to trigger a painful memory? >> A lot of my memories are painful because they make me feel alien and disjointed, or like I’ve “lost” something important, or whatever. So, like, I don’t know if anything triggers that, sometimes I just randomly remember shit.

if you had to give up one of your 5 senses, which would it be? >> No thanks.

what do you think of people that choose not to vote? >> I don’t think anything of them. That’s their right. The fuck do I care? Also, I was one of those people until very recently, and I still don’t feel any better or like a better citizen or whatever for having begrudgingly registered.

are you keeping anything from the people you love? >> I mean, not intentionally, I guess.

have you ever written a suicide note, whether joking or not? >> No.

what is the worst physical pain you have endured? >> Cramps.

what is one thing that you want other people to know about you? why is it so important that someone knows this? >> Meh.

what is something you wish people DIDN'T know about you? what would be different if they didn't? >> I have Trauma Brain so I irrationally wish no one knew anything about me because vulnerability bad.

what is the worst question that someone could possibly ask you? what about the worst thing that someone could say to you? >> *shrug*?

would you consider yourself a sensitive person? why, or why not? >> I don’t know. Maybe there is a sensitive person in here somewhere, but it’s buried in all the noise from Trauma Brain. Or maybe Trauma Brain is the sensitive person turned in on itself. I don’t fucking know, next.

you can spend the day with anyone, living or dead; who do you choose? what do you do / where do you go? >> ---

when was the last time you let something 'go to your head'? >> I don’t really know.

when are you most likely to show off? >> I don’t show off. I have nothing to show off, lol.

which would you prefer: spectacular view of the ocean, or of the mountains? >> I like both views. I don’t see why I should have to choose. I live on a landmass where you can easily make trips to see both. (Well, considering travel expenses, “easily” might not be the right word. But.)

do you follow any dating rules / play any dating games? >> No.

when was the last time you felt extremely confident about something? >> Good question.

how do you, personally, know when you are falling in love? >> ---

when was the last time you blew the seeds off of a dandelion? >> Maybe last spring? I don’t know. I do enjoy doing that very much, though.

in your opinion, which holiday is the least important? >> All of the United States-specific ones are just. Trash.

what was the last thing that happened that you couldn't explain? >> I can think of an explanation for anything. Whether the explanation makes any sense to anyone else but me is the question.

what do you do with all of your spare change? >> ---

where did you hear about your all-time favorite band? >> ---

how many cans of soda do you drink in a day? >> Zero.

what is your idea of paradise? >> I never bothered thinking of one. Maybe Inworld is the closest thing.

what do you think goes on in the minds of the opposite sex? >> You know. Thoughts.

what is the oldest thing that you own? and the newest? >> I have no idea what the oldest thing I own is, but I guarantee you it’s not more than 4 years old. The newest thing is an eyeshadow palette and a lipstick that Sparrow got me.

is there anything you wish you had never found out about? >> Probably.

describe your handwriting? >> I don’t know how to describe it. It’d probably be pretty difficult to forge.

have you ever had to choose between friends and family? if yes, what happened? >> No.

in what ways has music affected your life? >> Many ways. It’s a very integral part of my life and has been since childhood. It’s the one constant (aside from Inworld).

what is something that you refuse to believe in? >> I don’t refuse to believe in anything. Some systems just don’t work for me so I don’t use them. They might exist for someone, but they don’t for me.

what is something you wish more people believed in? >> ---

what food is your ultimate comfort food? >> I don’t think I have one.

have you ever put anything inside a time capsule? what? >> When I was pretty young, I tried to make one. But I opened it within like, a year. I couldn’t imagine waiting for like... ten years or whatever because I couldn’t even fathom that kind of time, lmao.

how did you come up with your bzoink screen name? what would you change it to, if you could? >> It’s just one of my standard usernames. I really only registered to avoid seeing that “this is a rated R survey” screen and having to click through it every time.

when was the last time you experienced deja vu? >> I don’t remember. Maybe never.

what do you do when someone snarkily corrects your grammar? >> Ignore them.

what was the last thing that you put quotations around? >> Part of my answer three questions ago.

in the time it took you to fill this out, what else could you have done? >> Well, it’s taken me a half-hour, so I could have done a lot of things in that time. Watched a show episode, eaten, done a dance, idk.

is there too much violence on tv, or are people to sensitive? >> There is a lot of violence on television. People should be sensitive to violence, because desensitisation to violence has led to a lot of bad shit. Personally, I’m mostly desensitised to fictional violence and that probably is becuase I’ve seen a fuckton of it, but fictional violence isn’t the same as real-life violence, and I would probably still react more acutely to violence that’s literally happening in front of me.

what is one "junk food" you enjoy? >> I refuse to label foods like this. It’s reductive and unhelpful.

what is one "health food" you enjoy? >> ^

what is something you used to fear, but no longer do? >> Thunderstorms.

who was your first hero? >> ---

is there anything your friends won't let you forget? >> No?

is there something you have trouble putting into words? >> There are many things I have trouble verbalising.

when was the last time you were at a loss for words? >> I don’t remember.

what bothers you most about getting older? >> The increased likelihood of disease and infirmity.

have you ever flown all by yourself? how was it? >> Many times. It’s lovely.

if you have one hour left to live, how do you spend it? >> ---

do you think it's important to know a 2nd language? >> Sure, but it might not be important to someone else, and that’s fine.

do you know anyone that's just naturally good at almost everything? >> No.

do you know anyone that's just bad at everything? >> No.

what is one emoticon you use often? >> xD

what is one emoticon you almost never use? >> Hmm.... I can’t think of one.

do you use emoticons to express yourself? >> Sure. That’s what they’re there for.

#surveys #survey #random survey

[rinusagitora]

Our rites of passage.

Fandom: Bleach

Characters: Momo Hinamori, Tetsuzaemon Iba

Pairings: IbaHina, mentioned badship AiHina

Words: 3,400+

Summary: Post TYBW. WARNINGS--- shameless smut, mentioned sexual abuse; Momo is an impossibly lonely woman, with needs. Naturally she has to project those needs.

AO3: works/20429852

Momo was broken for almost five decades. Those days, she had little interest in romance. There was nothing for her after Sousuke.

She reentered the social hemisphere, however, just two years after Sousuke’s incarceration. She spent some evenings with Rangiku and Nanao once in awhile, but Momo rarely went out-out with anyone into the world, where there were plays and music and restaurants.

Her work was her life. Her friends were her coworkers.

Her and Tetsuzaemon hadn’t spoken much in the past. When it was just Momo and him in the conference room, thirty minutes early to a meeting which they didn’t get the memo that it was postponed, they were both professional enough to carry on a conversation.

“It’s hard being without a captain,” Tetsuzaemon said. “I’m managing, but at the cost of long hours.”

“It’s going to be hard. Just remember that you have friends who are more than happy to help. For the time being, you’re going to have to delegate. You’re all going to have a lot of slack to pick up in Komamura’s absence.”

“How did you do it?”

“With help. Hitsugaya-taichou and I split the duties, and I delegated of course.”

"Sensible," Tetsuzaemon replied. "Thank you for your advice."

"Of course."

---

Momo was easily qualified as a lonely woman. She hadn't dated anyone other than Sousuke in decades, and that relationship was far from satisfactory in hindsight. Her outings were in the commissary cafeteria, across the table from her peers. Tetsuzaemon was a good friend, like Rangiku and Nanao, but it became more apparent how empty Momo's life was the more time she spent with him. It made her sad. Sadder too that she couldn't get a read on Tetsuzaemon with those damn sunglasses in the way when she knew just how apparent her moods were.

"Are you okay?" he inquired.

"Of course. Just… contemplating."

"A penny for your thoughts?"

The only other person Momo disclosed anything to was Rangiku. She was reluctant to disclose anything to Tetsuzaemon, since everything Momo felt seemed catastrophic and gargantuan. He was one of the strongest men Momo knew, but the sordid details of her history weren't easily burdened by even the widest shoulders and thickest arms.

Still. She imposed, again and again. It must have exhausted many to not know what had her face constantly twisted.

"You'll think I'm awfully silly," she said, "but I miss Sousuke Aizen. I knew how to comport myself then. These days, I'm not even sure how to talk to friends without instinctually needing a wall of… I'm not sure. Secrecy, I suppose. It's difficult to describe." Momo frowned. "I apologize. I didn't mean to overshare."

Tetsuzaemon reached across the table and held her hand under his. "You have nothing to worry about. I won't say I understand your anxiety, but I value our friendship. I only asked because I wanted to help."

Momo gave him a smile. "Thank you," she replied. "That means a lot to me. If we're friends, though, may I call you Tetsuzaemon?"

"May I call you Momo?"

"Of course."

---

Momo swore up and down her own body conspired to kill her. If her lungs weren't so tight, her brain refused to slow down and let her sleep. She felt like she wasted away every night.

His godforsaken face strobed on the back of her eyelids. His cruel smile, the emptiness in his eyes. Sousuke was like a fucking monster, yet when Momo was desperate for someone's touch, anyone's touch, she couldn't help but relive her own rape again and again. Her own mind assaulted her with the pain and claustrophobia, and what was worse, it interrupted her everytime she masturbated.

Everytime, she fought to ignore potent and poignant memory, but it was difficult. It slipped into her mind, like Tetsuzaemon did that night. Momo felt as guilty as she did aroused.

His chiselled jaw and big grin somehow overlayed Sousuke's as she worked her clit with the head of her purple dildo. Somehow, his arms pushed away Sousuke's, and Momo needed her body pillow to cuddle in place of his body. It was far too soft and narrow to emulate Tetsuzaemon's physique, but it worked.

Heat accumulated between her body and her pillow as she slid her dildo between her moistened folds. Her legs quivered as she pictured it was his cock that rubbed her in preparation. He was so gentlemanly, Momo could picture his forehead against her own, could almost hear his compliments and consolation.

Momo pushed her toy inside her. She choked, fell onto her back, moaned for Tetsuzaemon. With one hand, she held the top of her body pillow against her neck, like Tetsuzaemon had his face buried away, and slowly fucked herself. The dildo was hard as rock. The longer the thrust, the better it scratched her bundle of nerves. 

"Fuck, Tetsuzaemon," Momo whimpered. She picked up the pace as fast as she could push it in. Her legs involuntarily tensed around her hand, so Momo folded her body pillow, straddled the bottom half as a base for her dildo, and hugged the top. Tetsuzaemon's phantom arms assisted her. Momo imagined her nipples scraped against his muscular chest, so receptive from years of neglect, she felt their heat mingle, his hands in her hair.

Momo slammed with finality onto her dildo. Her orgasm locked every part of her for a good half minute where she only shook. It passed much too soon, and much too soon her self-loathe returned. She was so sickened with her own deviancy, to masturbate to an unsuspecting friend, she burst into tears, huddled up against the wall, and wished for someone to strike her bloody.

---

"I'm pleased to announce we will be promoting Tetsuzaemon Iba to the captain position."

Momo smiled at Tetsuzaemon. She was proud of his promotion to nanabantai. She was also saddened, however, since they would see less of each other. She should've been relieved, since it would get him out of her head and her hazy states of arousal, but Momo was a selfish person. Change meant she had to cope with worsened loneliness. But Momo wanted to be a good friend. When the meeting was dismissed, she caught up to Tetsuzaemon to personally congratulate him.

"Hello. I'm glad you were selected for the position. No one is better suited," she said. "I would like you to come with me for tea to celebrate. I'm sure you will be drinking with friends, so I'll let you be sober for them."

"It would be my pleasure, Momo."

He offered Momo his elbow, and she courteously accepted. She tried to ignore the night she jacked off with him in mind as they walked. Thankfully, she was successful since Tetsuzaemon and her conversed easily.

"My mother was absolutely thrilled when I told her. Never seen her so proud."

"She ought to be," Momo said. "You always work so hard…. Don't forget about all us when you're busy in the big leagues."

"Momo… we're still friends. I'm sure we'll still have time to spend with each other. It's just a promotion."

She smiled. Momo hoped that was the case, because good things in her life seemed to slip away. She was the hive of terrible evils. She would understand if they drifted, but she would've been terribly sad.

They sat, they sipped tea, they joked and talked.

“Let’s finish up here. I bought this new sake I’d like to try with you. I know you don’t drink, but… I’d like to offer, nonetheless.”

Momo smiled. “Whatever happened to sobriety and celebrating with other friends?"

"A taste wouldn’t hurt. To celebrate.”

Tetsuzaemon and Momo paid for their tea and left. When they came upon his barracks, he unlocked the door, and he followed her after he gestured her inside.

“A humble place,” she remarked, since it was the first time Momo had ever been in his home before. There were pictures of his family on the walls, vases filled with flowers in the windows. “Surprisingly personal for a man.”

“My mother sends me decorations now and again. Come, sit,” Tetsuzaemon replied. Momo sat as asked of her. Tetsuzaemon returned a moment later with a pitcher of guava-flavored sake.

“To friendship,” he toasted.

“To your success,” she replied.

They both drank. He drank surprisingly little. They were silent. Momo hadn’t been out for so long before, like a naughty child out past curfew. She scolded herself. She was an adult who could stay out as long as she wanted with whoever she wanted.

It was definitely the booze, but Momo’s rebellious feelings made her want to kiss Tetsuzaemon, maybe drink naked with him. A jab to Sousuke’s tyranny. 

"I had a dream the other night. We slept together," Tetsuzaemon announced like magic, "I've felt bad about it for awhile now."

Momo was relieved. Flattered. It felt nice to be lusted after, to be naughty. “I’ve had fantasies too. You are exorbitantly handsome, and more so sweet. I don’t think I love you, Tetsuzaemon, but… we’re adults. We have needs. We’ve projected them onto each other since there’s no one else to.”

“Are we good enough friends to help each other meet our needs?” Tetsuzaemon asked.

Momo delicately put aside his dishware. Tetsuzaemon watched her unreadably. She sat on the table in front of him, with her legs spread, and she batted her bedroom eyes at him. “Let’s find out. Please undress me.” Tell her she was beautiful, she inwardly pleaded.

Tetsuzaemon gingerly pushed her yukata off her shoulders. It slid down to her waist. Her shame, her breasts and ugly, pink scar, were in full view for his judgement.

“I’ve wanted to see this for awhile now,” he said reverently. “You are as beautiful as I could imagine.”

His calloused finger stroked the underside of Momo’s breasts. How Momo missed the touch of another human being, so carnal, licentious. Sousuke never touched her like Tetsuzaemon did. As he played with her nipples, brown like caramel, Momo pulled his sunglasses off his angled face and set them aside. His eyes were thin and almost black. They smouldered with hunger for her. Hungered so much he took her breasts in his hands and suckled. She moaned helplessly, only able to clutch the back of his neck. He held her tightly, his tongue happily played with her bosom, and Momo felt adored more than ever before. She was drunk off the attention.

“Give me your cock,” Momo ordered, “I’ll take care of you.”

“Sweet Mother of God,” he cursed. He was only partially erect, but halfway so, from her breasts and filthy mouth alone. Tetsuzaemon stood, bent at the knees to accommodate the distance between her mouth and his cock. She stroked him with her fist. His hips bobbed back and forth with her. He grew to full mast with Momo’s administrations. Tetsuzaemon was inarguably behemoth. His cock touch his belly button when fully erect, and it was so thick Momo’s fingers couldn’t wrap around it.

Precum seeped from the head. Momo touched a finger to it, and it came away with a string. She touched his precum to her tongue. It wasn’t terrible, but how it made Tetsuzaemon grunt from the mere sight, she decided it was worth the unremarkable taste of cum to suck him off. Momo leaned forward and swallowed him whole. She gagged when it hit the back of her throat, but she was a quick study, and figured out how to breathe through her nose in time with her head bobs. 

“Fuck… you are amazing,” Tetsuzaemon groaned breathlessly. His fingers combed through her hair. He held it from the back of her head like a handle and fucked her mouth independently. She loved his forcefulness. It wasn’t like Sousuke’s, who relished her discomfort. Tetsuzaemon’s dominance was all need and adoration. He needed Momo for release.

She loved it so much she peeled her eyes open, pushed herself off, and grinned as precum dribbled down her chin. “I want to try something,” she said as she untied her obi. Tetsuzaemon wordlessly watched as Momo pushed her hakama off, spun on the table and laid on her back so her head pointed towards his crotch and he had full view of her as she masturbated.

“I need you to fuck my mouth.”

Tetsuzaemon wasted no time. He braced her head in his hands, shoved his cock into her mouth, and fucked her face. Her fingers fervently circled her clitoris. It drove him wild. Tetsuzaemon quickened, and seconds later, his cum pumped down her throat, thick and warm. She milked him with her free hand for every drop, and he shook like tremors overcame his legs.

Finally, he pulled out of her mouth, shiny from his cum and her saliva. Momo proudly scraped the vestiges of his cum back onto her tongue.

“Was I good?” Momo cooed.

“You were… you were outstanding.” Tetsuzaemon looked down at his still-hard member. “Holy shit, I want more….”

Momo grinned. “Are you gonna fuck me?” she asked. 

“I’m going to fuck you everywhere I can, until you’re so fucked up, you’re gonna need me to carry you to work.”

Momo squealed in delight as Tetsuzaemon pushed her back onto the table, pulled her legs over his shoulders, and pushed himself inside of her. She had no other words to describe it aside from it was like he scratched a deep itch. It relieved so much pressure Momo bit back a scream of ecstasy.

“That is… god, you are unlike any other man I’ve been with!” she cried in delight. “Go on, I’m okay.”

Tetsuzaemon thrusted into her. Momo held his biceps, feebly pleaded for him to fuck her harder, harder, harder until the table creaked beneath the force of which they fucked. It scratched the back of her clitoris, and her release built up like Tetsuzaemon filled a kitchen pitcher in a creak. It filled surprisingly quickly.

“Oh my god,” Momo choked, “harder, I’m going to-- I’m cumming!”

Tetsuzaemon unmercifully hammered into her. Every muscle in Momo’s body locked up, her lungs froze. Euphoria engulfed her in waves stronger by the second.

When it faded, Momo felt light. Sated. She kissed Tetsuzaemon.

“That was… wow. I don’t think I ever came like that… ever,” she admired as he pulled out. Momo looked over her breasts and her belly to see his cum ooze from her. It made her dizzy with delight.

“I’m not done,” he said. “Stand next to the wall.”

Momo salivated. She gleefully obeyed, even as his semen oozed down her leg. Tetsuzaemon heaved her leg over his shoulder and poised himself to enter her yet again. There was no ceremony once he picked up. He fucked her hard and fast. Momo covered her mouth to prevent her crying out. Yet again, his cock filled her so fully, he scraped that special, nervous spot.

“Your pussy is great,” he groaned. “Momo, everything about you is phenomenal.”

“Thank you, Tetsuzaemon!” Momo gasped. “Oh god, please, fuck me more. I need more!”

“Say it again”

“Oh god, I need you. Tell me what you've done."

"Fuck--- I had this incredible dream you took me home with you. You went to change a-and you came back wearing nothing but stockings and holding rope. You tied me to the floor and I ate your pussy. The next day, I had to jack off at my desk when I was trying to eat lunch because I just couldn't stop thinking about how good your pussy is."

Momo grinned. "Isn't my pussy great? How long have you wanted it?"

"I wanted to fuck you our first meeting since we rebuilt the conference room. You're so cute, I just couldn't stop imagining fucking you better than that scumbag."

"Did you jerk off?"

"I couldn't stop!"

Tetsuzaemon choked. His eyes fluttered shut as his cock pushed his cum inside of her. Momo pulled him deep into her, elated by the sheer amount that oozed down their legs. His loads were so voluminous. Momo wanted it all in her and on her.

He finally caught his breath. Momo kissed his neck. "I need it again," she told him. "I need you to fill me until I can't walk."

Tetsuzaemon happily obliged. He threw Momo face-first onto his couch, he pinned her head against the cushion with one hand, and then railed into her with his cock. 

"Fuck!" Momo screamed without regard for who was beyond the thin walls of his barracks. She quivered like her bones would rattle apart. "This is the best thing I've ever had!"

"Better than that arrogant sod?" Tetsuzaemon spat. 

"Legions. God, he pales in comparison to what you can do. Never fucked me half as good!"

Tetsuzaemon's cock slammed deep into her. It was relentless and positively heavenly. Momo knew she had been fucked as hard in the past, when she was Sousuke's whore, but Tetsuzaemon built up to it with his own godliness. Momo shrieked in ecstasy, without care who heard her, all that mattered was she was on top of the world.

Her orgasm ascended from her groin, into her chest, and filled her head. Momo had never felt lighter, or more pleasured. If it wasn't for Tetsuzaemon who held her in place, she was sure to have slumped to the floor.

Tetsuzaemon pulled his cock out. He was absolutely covered in their cum and somehow still hard. Momo helplessly sat on his couch with her legs tightly shut to keep what was sure to be several ounces of cum inside of her. She had no idea what her preoccupation with it was since she wasn't fertile or baby hungry to begin with, she just needed it in her.

"Holy shit…" Tetsuzaemon cursed. "God, it's been so long, I want to keep going," he told her.

"Me too," she replied. "Can you? I don't think I can stand. My legs feel like jam."

Tetsuzaemon grinned, what Momo would call the first ever display she had ever seen of arrogance. She couldn't help but smile with him. His virility was superb. "I'll be just a second," he said, before he fled into his room. Tetsuzaemon returned with a full-length mirror. Momo's mouth went dry. Happily, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her off the couch and sat her a couple feet away from the mirror. He held her on her knees, with his enormous hands clasped around her breasts, and he fucked her from behind.

Momo wordlessly watched in the mirror. She watched the bottom of his cock vanish and reappear in time with his thrusts. There was no more room for his cum and cock to share, so his cum gushed down her legs. The additional visual stimulation made her all the more receptive to his every movement. She was atop a pedestal, she thought, as Tetsuzaemon watched with rapt attention too. His handiwork on a gorgeous woman he drove absolutely crazy that afternoon. 

"Thank you," Momo mewled. "God, thank you. This is better than I could ever imagine."

"You're gonna come to me a couple afternoons during the week so I can fuck you during my lunch," he told Momo. She happily nodded with the picture of her braced on his desk as he triumphantly railed her. God, she would have moved in just to fuck him at that point.

Momo's eyes rolled into the back of her head. Her climax forced out his name from her clenched teeth. She felt his cum billow inside of her, stroke every part of her. 

Tetsuzaemon pulled out, and it spilled onto her legs. He kissed her neck, he wordlessly carried her into his bathroom were he towelled her off, and then carried her into his room and laid with her on his mattress.

"You're gonna be late for your party," she mumbled feebly. Her body was thoroughly exhausted from their legendary romp, even talking was difficult.

"I'd rather rest with you. I think if I drink anymore, I'll just pass out."

She smiled and cuddled up next to Tetsuzaemon. "I'm very selfish to be, but I'm glad."

"Neither of us have been with anyone else like this…. I'm emotional too. I don't want to just up and leave." He swept her into his torso. She laid on his breast.

Momo didn't love Tetsuzaemon, but she could forget about those awful decades with Sousuke.

#bleach #ibahina #momo hinamori #tetsuzaemon iba

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat (2/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left. It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Chapter Summary: You two have a small interaction. Steve’s back. You don’t want to stop helping Bucky, even if he doesn’t know a thing. How long will you be able to keep the control of the situation?

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings for this chapter: angst, past break-up, unresolved feelings nightmares.

 A/N: Here’s chapter two. The idea came from this anon request which has been waiting on my ask box since forever: Do you still do requests? I really want a story where the reader has F.R.I.D.A.Y. wake her up whenever Bucky has nightmares so she can calm him down and Steve finds out. @lesqui Ily.

Please, let me know what you think.

Part 1/Part 2/ Part 3 

Masterlist.

 You hated parties. So much. Yet, there you were. The voice of your grandfather echoed in your mind, telling you that going to events, socializing, and making contacts were an essential part of the job. “Kicking some asses isn't all this is about, pumpkin,” he used to say.  You remember going with him at very early age, having to memorize the name of all the big players and how each of them could be beneficial to SHIELD.

The perks of being raised by one of the founders of the powerful organization. Even years after his death, you couldn’t help but following his lead, not missing one single event like the one you were at now.

Leaning on the balcony, you took a sip of your champagne, scanning the place, identifying at least a dozen of people you would have to socialize with before the end of the night.  

However, before you got into action, your gaze landed upon him. Bucky Barnes. The former Winter Soldier. Four spots away from you at the bar, asking for a drink of his own. You wondered what Steve had to do to drag him there. Since he got to the team, he had been keeping to himself, interacting with almost nobody, except Steve and occasionally Sam.

You knew the famous brainwashing wasn’t a problem anymore and he’d been doing well on the missions he had been assigned to, but your efforts on exchanging a bit more than the good mornings and hellos with him, it was to no avail.

The man intrigued you. Not to mention he was hot as fuck. Considering the two samples you worked with, the 40’s should have been a damn good decade to live in.

You were taking another sip of your glass when he inadvertently turned his face to you, catching you gawking. You quickly moved your gaze to your front. But your eyes were also quick on betraying you, seeking for him again.

And then you saw something you had never seen him doing before: he was smiling. Bucky Barnes was fully turned to your direction and sporting a small, yet gorgeous smile on his beautiful mouth. The man who hadn´t acknowledged your existence so far was aiming the sweetest of smiles at you.

You felt a broad grin of your own tugging at your lips and some weird fluttering feelings taking over your stomach.

Oh, shit... this can’t be good.

~~~

Why is the fucking kitchen so far fucking away? The thought pops into your mind while you drag your feet to said kitchen, aiming to fill your empty whining stomach, hoping to be lucky enough and find nobody there. You haven´t managed to sleep for a single minute since the night before. The moments with Bucky and the last words he said before you dashed out of his bedroom ended the possibilities of you having any kind of rest, as you kept reliving them in your mind.

I’m sorry…I’m sorry…

They weighed over you, over your heart especially, bringing out emotions and feelings you thought you had done a good job on burying inside the depths of you. It isn´t so, apparently, for those simple words were enough to erase two years of your life. Two years of running away, two years of forgetting. Or trying to.

You wonder if you really made the right call on coming back. Being away seems a very good and reasonable decision now, why did you have to go and change your stupid mind? You take a deep sigh, pushing the kitchen´s door open. You know damn well why you changed your mind-

“Good morning, sunshine.”

Of course luck wouldn´t be your friend that morning. “Morning, Nat…” you murmur, “Sam...Wanda…” you nod to the other only two occupants of the table, who wish you their mouthful “good mornings” as you walk to the coffee machine and help yourself with a cup of strong espresso, before joining the group.

“Okay,” Natasha drags the word after a moment of the three of them staring at you, while you fill your plate with some of the eggs and bacon from the pan on the table, “what exactly ran over you last night?”

You let out a bitter laugh, you surely look like shit after the hell of a night you had, “Like I´m the only one here with sleeping troubles every now and then.”

Wanda and Sam shrug and keep eating, finding no lies in what you said, while Natasha smirks, “I missed you. Thought two years away from us, simple avengers, would change you. I´m glad it didn´t.”

“I don´t think simple is the word you looking for, Tasha,” You don´t have to force the smile curling up your lips. You´ve missed everybody, but Wanda and Natasha would always hold a special place in your heart. Your little squad, having your back no matter what.

“All right, but the real question is: to what do we owe the honor of having the illustrious director of the infamous European branch of new SHIELD among us?” Sam says the words with mocked drama, wiggling his brows and imitating quotations marks over  new for the effect.  

You roll your eyes at the remark, “They hate you call them that, you know?” You swallow your coffee and sigh after he chuckled and kept looking at you, waiting for a response. Apart from Steve, Wanda and Natasha, It hasn´t been so hard to avoid explaining to the rest of team the circumstances of your presence since the beginning of the week, considering the come and go due to missions and personal matters, like the long delayed honeymoon of Tony and Pepper. You guess you can’t avoid it any longer, “Ahm, it´s former director, actually. I’ve resigned.” You smile tightly at him, “I’m back to stay.”  Your both hands firmly hold the cup in front of you.

His jaw drops and a sound, which you can’t distinguish between a scoff and a genuine laugh, comes out of his lips. You raise a brow at him, as Natasha keeps her classical unperturbed expression and Wanda takes a nonchalant sip of her milk. His gaze switches between you three, “Are you serious?” he asks, at last.

“Yup”, you shrug, gulping down some eggs and hoping for the miracle of not having to discuss the matter any further.

“What the hell happened? This was all you ever talked about ever since I met you.”

You’re taking a breath to face the questions, when the miracle you were hoping for happens in the form a sexy former assassin.

“Ok, Wilson, enough of bacon and chit-chat. You’ve been successfully dodging from that sparring session with me for too many times, now.” Natasha snaps out of her seat, dragging Sam with her by the collar.

As relieved as you are, you know Sam isn’t stupid to fall for that, but, lucky for you, he’s also the most comprehensive motherfucker you know. He swallows back whatever he really wants to say and goes along, “I’m glad you’re back anyway. We really missed you.” He pats your shoulder before being drifted out of the room.

You can’t help a small smile to cross your face at his consideration in leaving the subject behind. Or for later, if you really knew him. Shaking your head slightly, your gaze falls upon the up till now silent Avenger in the room, who is smirking at you, with her arms folded in front of her.

“What?” Your eyes narrow at Wanda.

“You know what? You were right.” Her smirk grows bigger at your quizzically shrug, “All of us have trouble to sleep.” She elaborates, grabbing her cup and plate and turns her back to you, walking to the sink, “By the way, one nocturnal troublemaker in special is strangely still asleep this morning.”

You choke on your coffee. While she dries her hands using a dish cloth, you can’t see her face but you’re mostly certain she’s sporting one of her radiant full grins. If you can expect scolding and advices against what you did last night, you know you wouldn’t receive them from Wanda. She has always been the most supportive of you and Bucky and she was heartbroken with the break-up.  She used to say she shipped you two, or something like that.

Wanda walks back to you, stopping behind your chair and leaning down to wrap her arms around your shoulders. “I think what you’re doing is great. He hasn’t slept that well in…well, two years.”

Before you can respond in any way, she props a kiss on your cheek and is out of the kitchen in a swift move, leaving behind her a slightly lighter heart than the one which has entered the kitchen this morning.

~~~

The rest of your day consists on being in the main office, trying to catch up with what you missed these last two years concerning missions, team rearrangements, new additions and work methods… You have a lot to study and analyze, which you’re kind of thankful for, since locked inside a room alone, you don’t have to play the avoidance game you and Bucky have been engaging to this last week. Also, it’s always been easy for you to use work as a way to take him and everything concerning you both out of your mind, at least for a bit. Mission accomplished. You’ve successfully driven your mind away from him and haven’t seen Bucky the whole day.

Except the day isn’t over yet.

Late in the afternoon, a throbbing pain lodges in your head, and you decide to hit the gym and exhaust your body instead of your mind for a change and, hopefully, relax. Everyone usually does their work outs in the morning, before their day’s responsibilities, so you are pretty confident you’ll have the place all to yourself.

Just like you expected, you find yourself running on one of the treadmills with no one around. Earphones drumming your favorites beats in your ear, you keep speeding up, the endorphin rushing through your body, easing your headache and running down to your limbs.

The slowly shift from numbness to aching in your joints brought by the heavy exertion doesn’t stop you from accelerating even more, breaking a personal record. You’re drenched and panting when something catches your peripheral vision, right by the door, making you trip on your toes and hit straight to the ground.

You groan at the pang you feel in your ankle and bring your hand to cover your eyes, pulling your earphones with the other, tossing them aside, cursing at your clumsiness, trying to recover your breath, even through clenched teeth.

“Are you ok?”  

Fuck.

You open your fingers to see between them, meeting a pair of blue eyes hovering over you. The very same blue which has knocked you down all those years ago, and keeps making you trip on your feet.

As he stares at you, worry etched on his face, you incline yourself up, supporting your weight with your hands on the floor, as he crouches in front of you. “My right ankle,” it´s all you mumble, having almost completely forgotten about the pain.

Bucky then focus his gaze on your feet, and you try not to wince when he gently wraps his hands around your aching ankle. The touch is clinical as he assesses possible damages, but is incredibly soft and, as it has always been, even with the metal, it’s warm, subduing the ache right away. Goosebumps trails up your skin and his heat rolls off on your body in burning sparkles. It´s the first time he´s touching you after two years and all you can do is stare at him, and control yourself not to scream, run away or throw yourself at him and kiss him breathless.

His attention is stuck on where he´s touching you, “There´s no sign of trauma,” His voice is dry and contained.

Even if he isn't looking at your face, you nod and expect him to let go of you then. But he doesn't. Your breath hitches in your throat as his thumbs draw lazy circles on your skin. The touch is barely a brush, light and soft and you could retract yourself from it if you wanted.

But you don’t.

You’re frozen in place while your gaze follows his flesh hand when it unhurriedly slides up the back of your leg. You stop breathing altogether and he seems hypnotized by his own hand when it stops right in the middle of your calf. Your eyes flutter shut. It’s overwhelming, bringing you to old memories and new sensations. A simple touch and you´re a puddle on the floor, willing to drown into him again.

“Bucky...” you finally breathe through your daze.

Your voice calling his name seems to snap him out of his own stupor, because too soon his hands are out of your body and as you open your eyes, you face the hardening of his features, still not looking at you when he stands up promptly.

He offers you a helping hand, and when you´re up, it’s only a moment before he takes a safe step back, avoiding the closeness. “Are you ok to walk?”

You’re the one who avoids his eyes, when he finally looks at you. You nod, feeling the pain in your ankle easing down.

“Good. Some ice and anti-inflammatory ointment and you should be ok.” Just like that he’s out of the gym, apparently forgetting whatever he was going to do there.

The phantom of his touch still lingers while you gather your stuff and drag yourself to your room. You sigh deeply when you realize the simple truth: he left a longing plastered in your skin. An aching longing for more.  

~~~

Late that night you find yourself again in his bed, running a timid yet soothing hand over his chest and whispering calming words on his ear, after Friday gave you the warning.

Your mind can’t help but travel to the afternoon events. The tiny interaction may seem insignificant on the surface, but you how much it’s meant to you. He’s spent a whole week ignoring you, not talking to you, running from your presence, and you, mimicking his behavior perfectly, both experts on staying away from each other.

But then he touches you… and all you want is more. Damn with the past, damn with the mistakes, the bad decisions. The heartache. You want him. You want him to want you, to kiss you, to touch you, to…

“Y/N?”

The whisper makes you promptly turn back around to find Steve, in tactical uniform, standing by the bedroom’s door with an almost comical expression of confusion on his face. Bucky stirs by your side and you’re quick to put a finger over your lips, signing for Steve to be quiet.

He sighs and nods toward the front door, before walking away.

You take one last look at Bucky’s peaceful form and cautiously leave the bed to follow the Captain.

“What am I seeing here?” he whispers almost in a harsh way, turning to you with folded arms in front of him when you close the door behind you.

You stare at your fidgeting fingers and use the same low tone to answer him, “I just couldn’t leave him on his own, Steve.”

Looking up at him, you catch the sternness leaving his posture as he takes a deep breath and regards door behind you for a second, “Does he know?” His gaze travels to yours and you shake your head in response.  

You stare at each other, conversing through your eyes, like only two people who know, understand and nurture a deep love for the same person could. He´s the one to cut the silence, “He never goes back to sleep so peacefully, you know? When I’m the one in there.”

It’s so fucked up to feel good about the information, considering you´ve been away for so long, but knowing you´re still the only one able to take him out of his torment brings you a shameful sense of pride. And hope. You almost can´t help a small smile to shape your lips, so you decide to speak to hide it, “Did you just got here?” You point to his battered uniform.  

“Yeah, came straight here to check on him. He seems to be just fine,” he smirks “I worry, though. About both of you.” His eyes bores into yours, “Are you ready to deal with it? With him?”

The meaning behind his words makes your chest smaller and you take a minute before speaking again, not really answering his question, “I think he was dreaming about me, the first night…”

“Wouldn´t be the first time.”

You mimic Steve’s tightened lips before they start trembling, “He said he was sorry…” You swallow back tears, casting your eyes away and staring at the door.

Steve places a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze and you look back at him.  

“I- I, wanna keep doing it. You said he usually doesn’t go back to sleep well. I wanna help him.” You grace your voice with resolve.

He removes his hand of your shoulder and contemplates you for a second, “You have to talk to him, though…Not just about this, but everything else.”

“I will, just… give me some time? Please?” You aim pleading eyes at him.

He nods and smiles softly when you let out the air stuck in your lungs. “Have I said I’m glad you’re back, already?”

You chuckle, pulling him for a hug. He hugs you back promptly and you’re so thankful for Steve Rogers. You know it’s been hard for him, too. Yet, there he is, supporting and offering his shoulder for you.  

“I´m starving, wanna go grab something with me in the kitchen?” He whispers softly, moving his hand in circles around your back.

You hear the silence inside the room before nodding and letting him pull you by the hand.

~~~

With Steve’s approval, having Friday waking you up becomes routine. It isn’t every night it happens, though, which is great for Bucky, but if you’re going to be honest, you long for the moment you can be close to him, talk to him, feel his body heat washing over your skin… He hasn´t spoken to you ever since that day in the gym, so you spent the days waiting for the nights.  

Steve´s been giving you the time you asked for, but you know the situation can´t be sustained for much longer. You need to talk to him, once and for all. You have to do it. Maybe tomorrow… or the day after tomorrow…

Tonight, Friday wakes you up later than usual and it takes longer for you to calm him down, due his agitated state. You hear him calling your name again, like it happened sometimes before, and you whisper you’re there, careful enough to get the message to his subconscious without waking him up.

You always leave when you’re certain he’s back to a peaceful state of mind, but maybe with the whole familiarity of the routine, you’re feeling dangerously comfortable and you´re not sure at what point you doze off tonight. All you know is the next thing you see is your hand laying upon an empty mattress.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Your heart rate rises when you follow the rusky voice. He´s plastered against the wall next to the bed, bare chest heaving and glossy eyes staring at you. You don´t miss his hands clenching when you move to sit on the bed.

Taking in a deep breath, you see no way out, before forcing a steady voice, “We need to talk.”

 ~~~

Part 3 

Perm. Tag List: 

@mytasterpeculiar

@mar-gega

@alohabucky

@melconnor2007

@iamwarrenspeace

@kaaatniss

@kissmyjasdaddy

@adaliamalfoy

@roselock20

@curlycals

@capbuckthor

@lilasiannerd

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

@ria132love

@alwayshave-faith

@camillechan

@strange-intricate-dysfunction

@cassandras-musings 

@random-fluffy-pink-unicorn

@captain-chimichanga 

@tilltheendwilliwrite

@super-complicated

@50shadesofyes

@cokamarie24

@jayzayy

@honey-bee-holly

@httpmcrvel

@milkywaybarnes

@learisa

@vintagepigeon

@supernatural508

@missmeganrachel

@its-daydreamer23

@nerdyandproud9

@geeksareunique

@feelmyroarrrr

@santheweird

@the-real-kellymonster

@buckyandivarlover

@wolflhards

@the-ragnarssons-tickle-spot

@elaacreditava

@saraniz

@game-of-spidey-imagines

@bitsandbobsandstuff

@kandiidreams

@wemettonight

@lilmissperfectlyimperfect

@bexboo616

@rebekahsalvator

@lostinthoughtsandfeelings

@fireflyloki28

@crazy-little-thing-called-buck

@creideamhgradochas

@suz-123

@coal000

@affleck40

@fuckthatfeeling

@bornfortherainydays

@cuddlysteven

@superappyjuice

@romanian-god 

Looking for a heartbeat: 

@nairobi13 

@rainbowkisses31

@goddess-of-silvers

@trenchcoatdevilsworld

@critterlady

@lost-and-wandering-alone

@stringgeek13

@anamcg317

@sprinkleofpoop

@capisicles

@dancer3205

@pao-prazz

@susmita121

@drunkinthemiddleoftheday

@commissioner23

@nomadicpixel

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky angst #bucky series #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel angst #looking for a heartbeat part 2