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cultpastorkevin · 4 months

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Cult Tips for AFTG writers

notes from the resident ex-cult pastor

If you’re in the cult, there is nothing bizarre abt what’s happening and in fact the normal stuff that happens outside of it is what’s bizarre to you. Target? Weird. McDonald’s? Even weirder. I can like guarantee Jean and Kevin never had McDonald’s until they left the Nest.

When you leave, you’re gonna be paranoid as fuck. All the time. Ngl at least for weeks but sometimes for years. Nightmares and insomnia 24/7. Hallucinations too lmao Riko is in every corner of empty rooms and you can hear his voice echo in the confines of the lockers.

I see a lot of Jean wanting to go back to the Nest, but not a lot of Kevin wanting to go back. He definitely struggled, 100%. In fact when he was in the pits of agony from his broken hand, was when he probably wanted to go back the most. Cult is home, cult is safe. Four walls you’ve always known and while it’s a cage at least it’s dependable. They hurt you but by god it always works out and the reward of pushing through this tragic incident is greater than the terror it caused in the first place. It’s a gift, actually. A gift from Riko. He saved Kevin. Cults save you. Cults make you wanna return to them like damn homing pigeons bruh. Give me more shattered hand Kevin screaming at Wymack to let him go back home and having a breakdown when he’s denied fics thanks

Piggybacking off the last one: cults are saviors; you’re nothing without them and they make sure you truly believe that; that everything that is done to you is for you and you’re blessed for it to be happening. You’re lucky even, to be allowed in it. Everything is as it’s supposed to be and order must never be challenged, because it works, and you’re the Edgar Allan Ravens, and this is the most honorable place you could be. All the pain you go through is you earning the right to be saved and to prove your worth every day on court. Only the worthy are honored.

You justify everything that happened and you will start fights and get angry with people who try to correct you and tell you it was wrong what went on.

On the other hand, you blame yourself for everything ever that happened there whether you were at fault or not. Hurting others, hurting yourself, gaslighting the fuck out of yourself over things maybe you could’ve prevented and over things you never could’ve stopped. The guilt is crippling and it eats you alive and haunts you.

There’s a lot of shame too. I see more guilt written than shame but shame is a huge portion of emotions that cult survivors have. Shits embarassing dude like “god how did I end up thinking this wack ass shit was normal” 😐 Shame comes later in the healing process usually, it’s after you have come to terms with shit that’s happened and you understand it. Looking back, you go “Jesus fucking Christ that was a red flag what the hell. Should’ve left then, or then, or then, or then” and then you’re just plain fuckin embarrassed.

Please look up how hive minds and brainwashing are created and work; also Stockholm Syndrome; understanding these would be incredibly helpful tbfh.

Diets are big; everyone eats the same thing; food is used as a reward and a punishment.

Hype hype hype. They whip up a frenzy of one singular emotion and use that to push you into a blind hysteria because you’re more suspectible to their influence when you’re out of your mind.

Drugs. Depends on the cult. But yeah these little bitches can be a huge factor for shit and can help with the brainwashing and hysteria and stockholm. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being drugged or poisoned until you leave.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Dehumanization and then being treated like a person again can be traumatic as fuck yall!! Holy shit! Sometimes it feels worse than being dehumanized!

EDIT AGAIN: you don’t know what mental illness is !! Cults don’t fucking tell you these things lmao. if you show symptoms it’s your fault. Kevin being depressed his mom died was gonna get blamed on him and he was never going to be told grief is normal and it’s okay to be insanely sad. Jean also never got told his anger was correct or his trauma responses to being raped were realistic! They just got blamed for any reactions ever that weren’t neurotypical !! that is all; do with that what you will.

Idk if I think of anything else I’ll write another one but that’s all for now; I haven’t slept much lmao 🫡

#aftg #all for the game #edgar allan ravens #jean moreau #kevin day #riko moriyama #riko was a cult victim too yall #smh keep seeing people forget this #tetsuji moriyama #cult stuff #psycho analysis of aftg #kinda #it’s close enough #castle evermore #aftg fanfic #cultpastorkevin

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shyjusticewarrior · 1 month

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Jason's favorite Taylor Swift albums would be Red, reputation, and evermore.

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jamestaylorswift · 1 year

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obsessed with the parallels between willow and mastermind and how in mastermind the touch of a hand lit the fuse and how in willow his touch would wreck her plans and how in mastermind nothing was going to stop her after that first night and how in willow she follows wherever he goes after his ship rolls in that night and and how in mastermind all the wisest women plan because they are the pawns in the lover’s game and how in willow she would cheat to win the prize and how in mastermind she’s been scheming like a criminal because no one wanted to play with her and how in willow she comes back stronger when she gets counted out and how in mastermind she’s cryptic and machiavellian because she cares and how in willow they meet in secret after dark to get closer and how in mastermind it was all by design and how in willow every bait-and-switch was a work of art and how mastermind starts out as this purported fairy tale but morphs into “none of this was accidental” and how willow begins with intrigue and desire but by the end she should have known from the look on his face and how in mastermind he knew she was a mastermind the whole time and how in willow he knows her train can take him home

#evermore #midnights #parallels #music analysis

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elenaferrante · 2 years

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I stg every time I listen to little evermore, I literally get legit tears in my eyes when I hear taylor sing: “I swear you were there” 🥺

The way she thought and dreamed about him (“when I was shipwrecked / I thought of you / in the cracks of light / i dreamed of you”) when everything was falling apart… “When she lay there on the ground / she dreamed of […] / a love that was really something / not just the idea of something,” and then, “when she stood […] / standing broad-shouldered next to her / was a love that was really something.” It was real enough to get her through because it wasn’t just the idea of something.

He was there.

#I literally cry #it makes me so emotional #taylor swift #joe alwyin #swiftwyn #little evermore #why she disappeared #lyrics analysis #j says

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slightlyrebelliouswriter23 · 1 year

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Hey so I’m confused about nevermore like… what is it’s actual purpose?

so i believe Nevermore was originally intended as a medicine for faeries living in the mortal world so they could withstand the high iron concentration in the atmosphere around cities. my sources have told me this is discussed at greater lengths in Modern Faerie Tales (particularly Valiant?), though i have not actually read the series myself.

in TFOTA, however, it appears to be used recreationally:

“[...] nevermore, a glittering golden powder so concentrated that it stupefies faeries and gives mortals the ability to glamour one another.” –The Cruel Prince, Ch. 12

there are some who suggest this difference is just an instance where Holly had an idea of what Nevermore was for MFT, and that idea morphed into something else later when she was writing TFOTA. that the difference is primarily just a world-building inconsistency due to The Passage Of Time(TM).

and while the former might be true, i'd argue that Nevermore, within the context of two separate cultures, would in fact serve different purposes.

i'll use the analogy of ADHD stimulant medication (since i am ADHD so it's my prerogative).

if someone with ADHD takes Adderall, it is a medication, because Adderall chemically balances something in their body which is inhibiting their everyday life (lack of dopamine, if you didn't know).

if someone without ADHD takes Adderall, they will experience a high. a stupefication, if you will. because they already have sufficient dopamine, and Adderall provides an influx of dopamine.

similarly, in the mortal world, faeries must chemically balance their systems to tolerate iron because human cities use iron in abundance. to do this, faeries living in the mortal word take Nevermore as a medication to balance the negative effects iron has on their bodies.

on the Shifting Isles of Elfhame, however, there is presumably zero iron. or at least very little of it since iron could potentially occur naturally in their environment. regardless, the people living on the islands don't need Nevermore to nullify an excess of iron in their systems, and therefore, Nevermore produces a drug-like effect in faeries as well as humans.

the reason it is still consistent is because we are receiving information about Nevermore from biased characters living in two separate cultures, who might not know how it is used in other Faerie cultures.

–Em 🖤🗡️

more theories & analysis

#ngl i thought you were talking about the taylor swift album for a sec #i was like girl i'm sorry idk i don't go here gvskdjs #(which is obvious cos the album is actually called evermore 💀)#tfota #jurdan #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #queen of nothing #the modern faerie tales #modern faerie tales #mft #holly black #my analysis #asked and answered #nonnie

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midnightsslut · 1 month

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when you’ve been listening to an album for four (4) years and you just understand it differently all of a sudden

#yes this is about folklore #I haven’t looked at the album as a whole in a long time and I was too focused on the potential storylines in it when it came out #I also haven’t thought about evermore as a body of work like at all #like why are the songs in that order what story is she trying to tell #anyway #will do💀#my media analysis skills were unfortunately poor in 2020

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ohgaylor · 1 year

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afterglow 🤝 hoax 🤝 the great war 🤝 death by a thousand cuts 🤝 long story short (parallels / analyses)

always remember // flashbacks waking me up // flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur // I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me

my knuckles were bruised like violets, sucker punching walls // fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves // don't want no other shade of blue but you // I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue, put you in jail for something you didn’t do // and maybe it's the past that's talking, screaming from the crypt telling me to punish you for things you never did, so I justified it

I lived like an island, punished you with silence // cursed you as I sleep-talked, spineless in my tomb of silence // misery like the war of words I shouted in my sleep // my sleepless night, my winless fight

somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed // my best laid plan, your sleight of hand // paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans // your finger on my hairpin triggers // my twisted knife // you knew the password so I let you in the door // my only one, my smoking gun, my eclipsed sun, this has broken me down

tore your banners down, took the battle underground // I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up // I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone // chandelier's still flickering here 'cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

and what once was ours is no one's now I see you everywhere, the only thing we share is this small town // you know I left a part of me back in New York // my kingdom come undone // our country, guess it was a lawless land

stood on the cliffside screaming, "give me a reason" // long story short, it was a bad time, pushed from the precipice, climbed right back up the cliff

I don’t wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you // that was the night I nearly lost you, I really thought I'd lost you // this has frozen my ground // soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops // thought I had reason to attack, but no // when I dropped my sword, I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door

the worst was over, my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war // your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in // no more keepin' score, now I just keep you warm // we're burned for better // I am ash from your fire // always remember the burning embers

no more tug of war, now I just know there's more // this ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight // and we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover // I vowed I would always be yours ‘cause we survived the Great War // and we live in peace, but if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

#lyric*connections #they tell the same story!!!!!#taylor swift #afterglow #hoax #the great war #death by a thousand cuts #long story short #parallels #analysis #mine #gaylor #anyway these motifs are rather significant if you ask me #folklore #midnights #lover #evermore #taylor swift parallels

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heyyyharry · 2 years

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The song begins with "I sit and watch you", followed by her thought process while watching her lover read.

She’s wondering why she's doing all these things and they're still not good enough for him. Then she’s asking him in her head, "If I left, would it matter to you? Believe me, I could do it." And yet the song ends with the same line: "I sit and watch you."

She wants to leave him, but she cannot do it.

(IG: @allie.writes)

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bettyshoweduptotheparty · 5 months

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My tears ricochet/ hoax / happiness parallels

My lovely moot @lyricstoojesus has asked me about My tears ricochet so I've dug out my pandemic notes on folklore and evermore and had some thoughts. I agree that it's a good contender for a lyrical analysis as it's entirely set in the wake/funeral imagery, but I'm afraid I have nothing to tell you that would offer a different interpretation than it being about SB, because that's what I also think. However, I have a few lyrical analysis points as to why that is, as you said you're not convinced. I will have to draw parallels to hoax and happiness to show what I mean.

First is the line 'if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too' from the first verse. This fire and ashes metaphor appears again in hoax where she says 'I am ash from your fire'. This person that burned her appears in multiple songs and in MTR and happiness it's very clear that this is someone she was once very close to, almost like a family member, and therefore burning her down is hurting them just as much ('you'll be made of ashes too'/ 'You had to kill me but it killed you just the same'). Even the title itself, the very concept of tears that ricochet is, that the sadness is backfiring at the person that's causing it. I think in the long pond session Taylor said something like 'The person that can hurt you the most is the one that was once your most trusted person, because they know what buttons to press'. Similarly, I interpret the line 'You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me' to mean 'You used confidential information that I gave you when I trusted you, against me'. That sounds very much like a parental figure to me and that points me to SB.

I have to admit that I probably come to that conclusion first through hoax, because that has so relatively few words in every line that they are really packed with meaning and once I'd worked my way through that the fire and ashes line then translates into MTR. So, in hoax all these four line verses are very minimal, but I think they are perfectly crafted to say exactly what/who each one is about.

The first one is 'My only one...' so that's about a romantic partner (her one and only). The song starts and ends with that, but in between I'm fairly certain she talks about something else. And I think she confirmed that in the conversation with Aaron saying that you can talk about multiple situations in one song, one being a business relationship, and one being a romantic relationship. Not surprisingly, this is a reoccurring theme in folklore and evermore, considering this is Taylor in lockdown in March of 2020 writing this, 9 months after the masters heist, working through all the feelings associated with what happened in the summer of 2019. And without too much guess work, I think we can assume some of that was business-related and some of it was the effect that it had on her relationship. (Not to forget that following the masters heist, Taylor started dressing in all black in the middle of her pastel and rainbows Lover era, to express her grief. So, not surprising that she chose a wake/funeral image for the song about that very situation). But back to hoax, the lines that I think point to SB are:

My best laid plan -the planned coming out Your sleight of hand - masters being sold to the worst possible person without consulting her My barren land - I was left with nothing, masters gone and plans foiled I am ash from your fire - I trusted you once and you used that to hurt me

In summary: You knew about my carefully laid out plans and you took the ground from under my feet when you sold my life's work to my biggest bully and left me in the closet. You knew how much that would hurt me because I trusted you and you did it anyway. Bringing it back to MTR, in that light the line 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave' really sounds like she's recalling times when he'd tell her she was brave for putting up with closeting for the sake of the success. And I really get older/parental figure vibes from this line, because isn't that what people of seniority often say to younger people when they are confronted with hardship that they don't want to tackle? 'Can't really do anything for you, but you are so brave...!'

Another lyrical aspect that I want to mention about MTR are the really strong parallels to happiness. Thematically, both are songs about a broken/past relationship, but MTR is the immediate aftermath, the grief of the moment, and happiness is the moving on, finding happiness and beauty in things that have ended. But the lyrics are really strong mirror images of each other, both highlighting that, despite the pain and betrayal, there was a lot to love and lose in this relationship, and some memories will always be cherished:

we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room -> In our history, across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise

Showed you all of my hiding spots -> I can go anywhere I want, Anywhere I want, just not home

you're the hero flying around, saving face -> I can't make it go away by making you a villain

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood -> Past the blood and bruise

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you -> Haunted by the look in my eyes

My tears ricochet -> now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head

Crossing out the good years -> seven years in heaven

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. These two are really similar and very much express the struggle of 'how do you move on from losing someone you were once so close to/looked up to'. Goes without saying at this point, that all three of these songs could easily also be read as breakup songs. But given the timing I would attribute them to SB, definitely a loss she'd have to work through in 2020.

That's all my notes on MTR, might come back to other folkmore songs, now that I've found my old notes. Let me know if it gave you any new insights ;)

#ts lyric analysis #my tears ricochet #hoax #happiness #folklore #evermore #taylor swift

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havealastkiss · 1 month

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honestly gold rush is such a beautiful song about an unrequited love, describing how you dislike falling for someone who you know will never love you back, but when you see them you start daydreaming and imagining a whole life with them until it hits you that it will never happen because they do not like you back…. a song a bit too personal rn 🥹

#taylor swift #lyrics #gold rush #evermore #rambles #top 3 in evermore surely #and my comfort one right now i’d say #one day i’ll make a whole analysis on this song

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dearreader · 7 months

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the way that maisie says “still don’t play the black key” then proceeds to play the black key to let us know she’s an unreliable narrator and that what she’s about to tell us through her album isn’t 100% truthful cause the past is a haunted house no one lives in but she’s trying to make it a past he could live in. so she’s actively lying to us all and letting us know

#kelly babels #i’m so normal about the good witch #but i honestly think it’s my favorite album ever #like… she best out evermore guys #kelly listens to music #maisie peters #the good witch #song analysis

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cultpastorkevin · 5 months

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Dependent Personality Disorder, Kevin Day, & the Edgar Allan Ravens

brought to you by an ex cult pastor w/ crippling mental issues

well let’s just jump right into it ngl (also if I miss anything or forget something give me a pass I have amnesia and a one track mind so I definitely missed stuff)

Okay so the whole Ravens always have a partner, never go anywhere alone, if one fails you both pay, etc. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and I don’t see it broken down and discussed at length enough, so imma try to do that from a mixed personal experience & psychology perspective

The fact Jean, Neil and Kevin have all stated in books and in the extra content that not having that presence next to them was devastating (much less so for Neil okay he didn’t spend fucking years there); Nora has also talked about how Ravens are basically unable to function if left alone; you can’t send them to the store alone or leave them places or expect them to be capable of completing tasks without their other half; TSC reeks of Jean having to learn how to function without a double and it’s gonna be a trainwreck for Jeremy bc how the fuck can Jean be this old and not feel able to have a room on his own anyways—

What is Dependent Personality Disorder?

The DSM-5 refers to DPD as a pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of, which leads to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation. It is characterized by excessive fear and anxiety. DPD begins by early adulthood, is present in a variety of contexts, and is associated with inadequate functioning. Symptoms can include anything from extreme passivity, devastation, or helplessness when relationships end; avoidance of responsibilities; and severe submission.

According to the DSM-5, the disorder is indicated by at least five of the following factors:

has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.

needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of their life.

has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval.

has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on their own (because of a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities rather than a lack of motivation or energy).

goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant.

feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for themselves.

urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends.

is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of themselves.

Since I only need 5, and I don’t want to bore everyone to death, I’ll just do 5.

needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of their life

Kevin spent well, basically his entire life having everything picked out for him by others. Exy was chosen for him. Where he lived, when he slept, what he ate and when was chosen. Riko and Tetsuji dictated his every fucking step up until he left. Kevin didn’t learn anything he wasn’t supposed to learn and therefore automatically expected others to do it for him because that’s what he was taught to do. Kevin’s only skill in life is Exy, which means he doesn’t have any other skills (well he does, he just doesn’t think they’re useful or important). Ravens are taught to be dependent on each other because without each other, they’re not whole or a person; they’re dehumanized until they begin to assign responsibility to someone they think is more equipped for it, is better for it, which is usually an authority figure (in this case, those figures are Riko and Tetsuji). Tetsuji knew exactly what he was doing by creating the psychological mindfuck of an inter-dependent group that is the Ravens. He took a bunch of young adults, gave them a god, and then helped that god beat them into numb dissociation until they couldn’t think for themselves and were even afraid to.

has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval

Reminder that DPD is prevalent in people who have been excessively abused and it’s also characterized by extreme anxiety. For people like Kevin and the Ravens, expressing anything other than what Riko and Tetsuji wanted could get them killed; it wasn’t just about being terrified of disapproval or protection, it was because losing anything from the group meant you were gonna get hurt (usually badly). Jean was literally waterboarded for shits and giggles, you think Riko is gonna take someone saying no very well (Neil Josten drove him insane I can tell u that much)? Ravens have a hive mind mentality because a hive mind keeps them alive and safe. Kevin had a hive mind when he was with Riko, and I’d argue he still had the remnants of one when he was with the Foxes. Riko breaking his hand was the only thing that broke him out of it, and even then, it barely did. Kevin only started mouthing off to Riko when Neil (bless his scrungly ass) started shaking Riko’s brain like a maraca. He had someone he could depend on in those situations because, again, Ravens always do things together. Kevin wouldn’t fucking dream of shitting on Riko at Kathy’s show by himself. Kevin spent 10+ years at Evermore with his sanity hanging on the hook of a batshit adoptive brother whose approval or disapproval would dictate if he was allowed to sleep. So yeah, I’d say Kevin had a violent need to always express agreement and do everything Riko wanted whether he liked it or not because the anxiety and terror of not doing so outweighed any sense of self preservation he could have. That ties in w the next one.

goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant

Riko utilized abuse in a lot of ways; Nora put in her extra content that he had other Ravens rape Jean; imo, those Ravens most likely didn’t fucking want to, but going to excessive lengths to stay within his approval and be safe? Yeah, they were gonna do it. Tetsuji and Riko also make the Ravens never miss practice or any other shit they want them to do, regardless of the state they’re in. Which means you’re going to practice when you’ve been raped the night before; it means you’re going to practice after getting butchered all night by your other half, etc. Anyways; when Kevin works with the Foxes, he repeatedly does the opposite and basically throws a fit if someone steps on court that isn’t in shape to. This begs the eye raiser that he didn’t want those things happening at Evermore, but he did them anyways because his need for approval and the anxiety of not doing so, outweighed the fact he hated doing it. He was so dependent on Riko and staying close that he was pretty willing to toss anyone and everyone under the bus to meet expectations even if they left a nauseating pit in his stomach. Doing unpleasant things for the person you’re attached to is hard, but their praise and approval after the actions erase all previous anxieties, which then fuels a broken cycle of seeking out that approval and continuing to engage in unpleasant actions out of fear of not recieving that pending approval afterwards. It’s hard to explain succinctly the mindfuck DPD causes your thoughts to be like when you have it.

urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends

Kevin lost Riko. You know what he gets next? Fucking Andrew. I don’t even know if I need to explain this one because Kevin’s dependency on Andrew is so prevalent and excruciatingly obvious throughout the whole series lmao. Kevin ain’t gonna admit it but he relies on Andrew like a starving man relies on garbage (no offense Andrew). Kevin’s duo dependency with Riko was shattered to its core and guess what idiot he latches onto to fill the void? Andrew ofc. I think out of everyone, Andrew is probably the healthiest until Neil comes along (still think it should’ve been a polycule but I digress).

Riko’s obsessiveness and possessiveness with Kevin was crippling to Kevin and left him without the ability to exist without a buffer. Andrew’s apathetic ass and explicit understanding of consent is needed to balance out Riko’s emotional instability and disregard for Kevin’s autonomy. I would go so far as to say it was dependency that forced Kevin to become more independent because Andrew wasn’t going to sit on his ass and wait for Kevin to figure it out or heal. Kevin only struggled into some form of functionality out of what I personally see as a crippling people pleasing need to be useful and that came from being dependent on those around him. He became semi functional (I use this so vaguely bc that man would not be functional in the real world) out of necessity and obligation to those around him, not because he actually healed or processed his shit.

Ignoring your own issues to meet expectations of the one(s) you’re dependent on is stereotypical avoidance and signs of people pleasing and also it’s a trauma response. Kevin quite literally just went “yeah well I have some problems but I’m going to push those aside bc nothing else matters besides Exy” and then proceeded for the entire series to use Exy, Neil, and Andrew as ways to try to avoid his trauma history. He’s kinda insane for that but also I get it, because placing your trauma lower than something else and then in turn obsessing over something or someone helps you compartmentalize and pseudo-function until you eventually snap and have a massive meltdown. Another thing is that when you’re living in an abusive environment you can’t afford those meltdowns. I like think that after all the shit happened in AFTG, Kevin just lost his shit for a period of time because it’s a very reasonable trauma response in victims for once you’re finally safe, you just shatter from all the pressure you’ve been avoiding in yourself. It’s only after you shatter that you can heal, and you can’t do that unless you’re in a space that you’re allowed to. And Tetsuji kept his Ravens in a headspace where they couldn’t.

feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for themselves

Ngl I’ve kinda already covered aspects of this but I just wanna reiterate what Nora said abt this specifically in her extra content that “Kevin is the one who warns Jeremy he (Jean) cannot go anywhere alone, “we Ravens don’t know how” and “Being able to go to class or the grocery store or the gym without any of his teammates in attendance is just—unfathomable” in regards to Jean Moreau’s transition into the Trojans. This is just kinda, explanatory. We’re talking about college age athletes who have been hazed and abused so much that the idea of going to a class alone isn’t even a concept to them; Kevin explicitly tells Jeremy that Ravens don’t know how to do things. They’re dependent on each other. Kevin is not only speaking to help Jean, but when he says “us Ravens” he’s including himself in that statement because he can’t either and he knows how hard it is to try to acclimate to suddenly being thrust into individuality when you haven’t had it in years. Unlike most of the Ravens, Kevin and Riko (and eventually Jean as well) grew up having that inter dependency made into a core personality trait. They hate each other and they love each other, their failures and wins depend on each other, one can’t breathe without the other suffering for it. At what point does trained and conditioned, and ultimately encouraged, dependent behavior turn into brainwashing and dehumanization until there’s nothing left of you but the one you’re dependent on?

Finally

I’m not saying Kevin Day or all of the Ravens have DPD; but what I am saying is that they have extreme traits at the least of it and it is entirely fucking reasonable to me that at least a few of them ended up with DPD or similar disorders because of the shit that happened to them in the Nest. People forget that trauma and adverse circumstances (especially from young ages like Kevin and Riko and Jean) can cause you to develop disorders or even mimic symptoms of disorders because those traumatic events caused reactions that are disordered behaviors. I feel if anything is to be nitpicked, it’s Kevin’s absolute bitchiness, because god he can be an asshole, and someone somewhere could argue because he has that antagonistic streak, DPD is entirely out of the question.

Unfortunately, the dichotomy exists of knowing when you can be bitchy and maintain submissiveness. Kevin probably learned where and when and to what extent he could tow that line when he lived in the Nest, whether it was taking out his anger and his anguish on other Ravens, on the court, or on the Foxes when he moved over. In my experience, my own explosive anger issues had to be portioned out, I had to know who I could do that to, be like that with. When and where was the correct time to lash out and when I was gonna get hit for it. Kevin isn’t stupid, he knew what Riko and Tetsuji were like. He also knew he had the upper hand in the power dynamic over the Raven’s on court. If he went for blood out of anger during practice, triggered by if Riko hurt him too much or took too much from him, other Ravens just had to take it, or worse, probably were encouraged to encourage the brutality.

All in all, I think Tetsuji created an absolute fucking labyrinth of a psychological warzone that both forced submission and rewarded dominance; it left lasting behavioral traits and triggered disorders that crippled Ravens, some for their entire lives. I wanna bet probably no former Raven went to therapy; the ones that got divvied up after the Nest closed probably were required to by their new teams, and they probably are the only generation that maybe were able to heal from it. In the extra content, Thea decided because Kevin could play again, “no harm no foul” on Riko’s end. If that’s not hivemind, culty, worshipper behavior, idk what is. That’s not a normal reaction, but it is a conditioned one.

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daisyswift3 · 1 year

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The Alcott Analysis

So now that The Alcott has officially been released I wanted to do an analysis of some of the lyrics and how I think they might relate to Taylor. Disclaimer: I know Aaron said Matt wrote the main parts of the song and Taylor only added the dialogue parts so many of these connections might be a coincidence, but I also think it’s possible Taylor could have had more input on the song than they’re letting on since there are so many themes and motifs that perfectly relate back to Taylor’s music. This is just meant to be a fun clown theory

Like many others pointed out, the whole first verse is very “Help I’m still at the restaurant, still sitting in a corner I haunt, cross legged in the dim light, they say ‘what a sad sight’” and seems like the opposite pov of RWYLM

“It’s the last thing you/I wanted, it’s the first thing I/you do, I tell you that I think I’m falling back in love w/ you” // “I love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard” // “Uh oh I’m falling in love, oh no I’m falling in love again”

“I had to do something to break into your golden thinking” // “Lost in the labyrinth of my mind…you would break your back to make me break a smile”— this is directly related to the following ⬇️

“And there you are sitting as usual w/ your golden notebook, writing something about someone who used to be me…I sit there silently waiting for you to look up” // “Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen, time moved on for everybody else, she won’t know it, she’s still 23 inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be…and you’re sitting in front of me” -> Taylor is stuck in her own head reminiscing and writing about the past (the golden age) and this person sitting in front of her is trying to break her out of this nostalgic escapist mindset. I think this may be a direct reference to the film Midnight in Paris which is all about nostalgia and escapism--much like the song Paris on the Midnights 3am edition--and specifically to golden age thinking, a phrase used in that film. Here are some tidbits that I think are worth noting

@chickawah23 made a really great post about the possible Midnight in Paris connections. Here’s a screenshot from that post that does a good job summarizing the important parallels

There definitely seems to be a connection between Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights, and the folklore chapters that were released in Aug 2020, specifically the sleepless nights and escapism chapters. I think it’s interesting that exile is the last track of the first chapter and first track of the second chapter--almost like the second chapter is a direct continuation of the first which again links Midnights to this escapism theme. And there’s been a lot of exile references lately (exile ends, doors, 8/3, etc)

Even though the back and forth dialogue between Taylor and Matt at first sounds argumentative, I think it could also be read in a positive way. This person is going to ruin and wreck Taylor’s plans and Taylor is going to gladly let them. She welcomes the curse on their house. “I’m begging for you to take my hand wreck my plans that’s my man” // “For you I would ruin myself a million little times” // “I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed...He’s gonna burn this house to the ground...So yeah it’s a fire it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it” // “Dear reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives” // Taylor is the one that chooses to burn the lover house down. She’s the one holding the lighter on the Midnights album cover and striking the match in the lavender haze mv (here’s a really great post about what that might signify). Furthermore, the willow performance and description make me think that the curse on Taylor’s house was actually her own doing--she’s not only letting this person wreck her plans but is helping them do so. So the burning, wrecking, ruining, cursing/spell casting are all metaphors for the same thing—destroying Taylor’s closet and possibly her career as a result of that

Honorable mention: The beat almost sounds like a heartbeat no? Wildest Dreams??

#i hope this all made sense lol #sometimes im not the best at articulating my thoughts #im doing this instead of studying for my finals like the responsible student i am #taylor swift #taylorswift #gaylor #gaylor swift #kaylor #midnight in paris #midnights #the alcott #the national #parallels #folklore #evermore #paris #exile #lyric analysis

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