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starlettescarlet · 4 days

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no, Matty's not TTPD's muse - and neither is Joe

okay so in my previous post i said that i believe that taylor has a secret muse (or muses) she's been writing about and in this masterpost i'll further explain why.

alright so as many of you may have noticed, there are a few main themes in most of taylor's work: forbidden romances, being in love with your best friend - or someone so controversial that the world wouldn't accept, your parents wouldn't accept, you and your love being against the world, religious guilt - you know the stuff. i've always wondered why? because Taylor Swift the gorgeous gorgeous billionaire who's always been dating famous single men who's around her age (we're leaving Jack and John out here) - like why would her relationships would be so forbidden and unheard of and the world just turn against her if they knew? the obvious theory is, yeah because she's gay or at least bisexual. i think everyone has heard enough of this theory (and i think this is the theory that has the most evidence) but in this post i'm going to keep in neutral and try to explore it in a more broad way.

with the drop of TTPD, she put a face to this forbidden love - turns out it was Matty Healy all long. it was Matty whom she secretly dreamt about and it was Matty whom would make her fall from grace just to touch his face etcetera. i mean yeah, it could be - but honestly i feel like this doesn't hold enough evidence considering she had been writing about the same person before they even met (2014). that's why I think Matty is a red-herring (a clue or piece of information that is, or is intended to be, misleading or distracting). it holds even more evidence when she is the one who's been telling us that she lies and withholds informations from us if you've ever listened to her carefully. anyways i'm not good at summarising stuff, so i'll just share the examples (the files, if you will) and it's up to you to decide.

so Taylor wrote about forbidden love both in Fearless (Love Story) and Speak Now (Ours), but we won't get into much detail here considering she was still a kid so yep it makes sense her parents wouldn't let her date who she wants lmao.

file I. Red

"Put your lips close to mine As long as they don't touch"

i think the entirety of Treacherous is pretty self-explanatory. this was like 2-3 years before she met Matty.

file ii. 1989

"And you took a Polaroid of us Then discovered (Then discovered) The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color"

the entirety of Out of the Woods explores the same old theme of your love being doomed from the beginning and it's you and your love against the world. this is supposed to about Harry Styles because of the bridge (Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?) (which I believe is an other red-herring) but I honestly do not understand why dating Harry Styles would feel like that lmao. "Baby, like we stood a chance / Two paper airplanes flying" i mean i don't know.

"Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?"

"Too in love to think straight All alone, or so it seemed But there were strangers watching And whispers turned to talking And talking turned to screams, oh"

the same theme in Wonderland (which i believe sounds extremely queer, but like i said it's for you to decide)

"I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost"

"Truth is, I can't pretend it's Platonic, it's just ended, so"

"One night, he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love"

themes of being in love with your best friend. i think it's self-explanatory.

"I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs Would surprise the whole school"

"When you told me we'd get back together"

"You don't knock anymore, and my whole life's ruined"

another theme is high school lovers. which is interesting because none of Taylor's exes that we know about weren't in the same school with her, or neither were her childhood friends. this theme will make a huge comeback in later albums.

file iii. reputation

this album is FUCKED. okay,

"Something happened for the first time In the darkest little paradise Shaking, pacing, I just need you"

"For you I would cross the line I would waste my time I would lose my mind They say, "She's gone too far this time."

"Halo, hiding my obsession I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy"

reputation is mostly supposed to be about Joe Alwyn and again, i don't know what is it about Joe that would make her questions her faith like that.

"Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep"

"I, I loved you in secret First sight, yeah, we love without reason"

"Picture of your face in an invisible locket You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it I had a bad feeling"

"I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche?"

"I'd kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down I'd hold you as the water rushes in"

again i really don't remember her and Joe ever being this secret and forbidden and the public wouldn't let them be together if they ever knew but, okay.

"Our secret moments in a crowded room They got no idea about me and you"

"All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you"

"I don't want you like a best friend"

"Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try And if I get burned, at least we were electrified"

"Everyone thinks that they know us But they know nothing about—"

TAYLOR WHAT'S GOING ON. alright we're moving on

file iv. Lover

"I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh) And I scream, "For whatever it's worth I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

again there's this romance that is so forbidden and not meant to happen but she can't help it etcetera. doesn't scream Joe Alwyn to me.

"We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I'd die for you? We were stupid to jump In the ocean separating us Remember how I'd fly to you?"

"They all warned us about times like this They say the road gets hard and you get lost When you're led by blind faith, blind faith"

"But we might just get away with it Religion's in your lips Even if it's a false god We'd still worship We might just get away with it The altar is my hips Even if it's a false god"

"I know heaven's a thing I go there when you touch me, honey"

"Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness"

again what's going on that would make her question her faith like that.

"School bell rings, walk me home"

"20 questions, we tell the truth You've been stressed out lately, yeah, me too Something gave you the nerve To touch my hand"

"Church bells ring, carry me home Rice on the ground looks like snow Call my bluff, call you "Babe" Have my back, yeah, every day Feels like home, stay in bed The whole weekend"

again being in love with your best friend and they get married at the end. honestly i just believe this is gay.

file v. Folklore

"I persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?"

"In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time"

the entirety of The One is just about still thinking about your ex love. this theme will make a huge comeback in TTPD.

"I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy"

again she's reminiscing about her ex love. keep the Peter & Wendy theme in the back of your mind.

"You know I didn't want to Have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels That I gave you As you bury me"

another theme is ghosts, death and burials. also keep this one in mind.

"I still got love for you Your braids like a pattern Love you to the moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long"

another childhood love song. it could be interpreted as platonic, but it sounds romantic to me. idk.

"Back when we were still changing for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all"

"Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose"

she's still reminiscing about "The One" but here it also overlaps with the high school love muse. this is going to make more sense in Evermore.

"And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies and it dies and it dies"

i mean i don't think an explanation for Illicit Affairs is needed. here comes a new theme, the one whom she's having a forbidden affair turns out to be married.

"You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else"

"You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else"

kinda screams Out of the Woods to me.

"My twisted knife My sleepless night My winless fight This has frozen my ground"

"You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for"

"You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score?"

again this is supposed to be about Joe (the references to "blue", him being a pisces and having mental issues) but it really doesn't sound like it - i mean not in the narrative we know about.

"Take me to the Lakes where all the poets went to die I don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you"

"While I bathe in cliffside pools With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief"

again the feeling of being misunderstood by the whole public and she defines Joe as her "calamitous" (catastrophic) love. hmm.

file vi. evermore

"Every bait-and-switch was a work of art"

bait-and-switch in literature is explained as: "This occurs when the author guides and encourages readers to invest their attention in some suspenseful situation but then is substitute for a payoff that has little to do with what occurred before."

"So we could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown"

"I parked my car Right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours"

"So I'll go back to LA And the so-called friends who'll write books about me if I ever make it And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking"

again the high school love.

"There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you"

reminiscing The One again.

"Hey Dorothea Do you ever stop and think about me? When we were younger Down in the park Honey, making a lark of the misery"

this is the childhood friend muse we've seen before in It's Nice to Have a Friend and Seven (even in Mary's Song).

"And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go"

"Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care? 'Cause we were like the mall before the Internet It was the one place to be The mischief, the gift wrapped suburban dreams"

this kind of sounds to me like the muse in 'tis the Damn Season. it is clear that this was someone from her teenage years, could be the high school love. also a reference to Suburban Legends.

"Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another"

the married muse.

"And the old widow goes to the stone every day But I don't, I just sit here and wait Grieving for the living"

"I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed"

the same cemetery and being haunted theme.

"It's been a long time And seeing the shape of your name Still spells out pain"

"I know I'm just a Wrinkle in your new life Staying "friends" Would iron it out so nice"

she's still reminiscing about her ex love and also a reference to being friends.

"Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt"

right where you left me is like the song that has all the theories combined lmao. there's not getting over The One, there's her love getting married to someone else (Glass shattere on the white cloth / I'm sure that you got a wife out there / Kids and Christmas but I'm unaware cause I'm right where you left me), there's being haunted, there's queerness (Hairpin drop) - there's literally everything.

file vii. Midnights

"Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend"

the best friend theme and honestly i think this is just gay.

"'Cause I don't remember who I was before you Painted all my nights A color I have searched for since"

feels like a direct reference to Out of the Woods and, illicit affairs maybe?

"Oh, my, love is a lie Shit my friends say to get me by It hits different It hits different this time"

another breakup song that was written when she was with Joe.

"I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost"

the Kens will make a comeback in TTPD.

"I find the artifacts, cried over a hat Cursed the space that I needed I trace the evidence, make it make some sense"

"artifacts" and "evidence" will also make a come back later.

"Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl"

honestly i think this is just gay.

"Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away? To take me away"

another reference to being locked up in an asylum lmao.

"We can plant a memory garden Say a solemn prayer Place a poppy in my hair"

another reference to graveyards and also battles, which comes back in You're Losing Me.

"Privacy sign on the door And on my page and on the whole world Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours"

keeping your love hidden which she didn't lmao

"I wanna transport you To somewhere the culture's clever Confess my truth In swooping, sloping, cursive letters"

she needs to take her love to somewhere the culture's clever so they could be... understood? i mean i wonder why... why would she need to confess her truth about Joe

"High infidelity Put on your records and regret me"

"Do you really want to know where I was April 29th? Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?"

she's just cheating

"I'd pay, if you'd just know me"

another reference to taylor feeling like she's not being understood

"We were supposed to be just friends You don't live in my part of town but maybe I'll see you out some weekend"

friends alert

"Dear reader, if it feels like a trap You're already in one"

"Dear reader, burn all the files Desert all your past lives And if you don't recognize yourself That means you did it right"

"Never take advice from someone who's falling apart"

"Dear reader, you don't have to answer Just 'cause they asked you"

"Dear reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets"

i think Dear Reader is the song that made the making of TTPD possible because this is like the first song she directly confesses that her life is not what it seems and she keeps things hidden

"I prefer hiding in plain sight"

"Spilling out to you for free But darling, darling, please You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking If you knew where I was walking To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there"

she's basically saying YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH. it cannot get more obvious.

"You should find another guiding light, guiding light But I shine so bright"

she knows that despite her efforts to tell us about her life and how it's very different from the narrative she tells us the public won't believe it cause she shines so bright

file viii. THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

"I was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic"

she shockingly confesses to not actually being what she seemed to be - she's depressed and she's an alcoholic and the reference to being locked up in the psych ward (Hits Difference) (also Fortnight mv)

"You're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road"

"But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head"

kind of reminds me of the muse of Peace (if your cascade ocean blue waves come) and Hoax

"He was my best friend Down at the sandlot I felt more when we played pretend Than with all the Kens"

the best friend theme and the Kens?

"Did you take all my old clothes? Just to leave me here naked and alone In a field in my same old town"

"Down bad like I lost my twin"

honestly it sounds like she's singing about a woman here. (Karlie)

"I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it"

the reference to Paris and all the other songs where she feels like her love cannot be understood

"I just learned these people only raise you to cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing, "What a mess" I just learned these people try and save you 'Cause they hate you"

i won't write the whole lyrics but the entirety of But Daddy I Love him is about forbidden love (like Love Story), not being understood, the whole world judging your love etc.

"Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to"

"Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine"

"My friends tried but I wouldn't hear it Watched me daily disappearing For just one glimpse of his smile"

i feel like Frest Out the Slammer is a direct reference to illicit affairs muse (Make sure nobody sees you leave / Hood over your head keeps your eyes down / Tell them you're out for a run / You'll be flushed when you return)

"At the park where we used to sit on children's swings Wearing imaginary rings"

again it sounds like the muse is somebody whom she's known since she was way younger

"Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?"

yeah she wants to cheat so bad lmao. i think this is pre-illicit affairs.

"I keep these longings locked In lowercase, inside a vault Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts Only your actions talk"

again religious guilt and keeping your desires hidden.

"What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously"

wow. once again she's haunted.

"They shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I Tell 'em he's my man But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no really I can"

you know what i honestly believe this is the same muse from cowboy like me lmao. another dangerous forbidden love.

"Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames If we know the steps anyway? We embroidered the memories of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe" I said, "I don't mind, it takes time""

here comes the muse from the 1, the old flame. again the childhood / high school lovers trope.

"Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried"

cemeteries again?

"It was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried"

i think this is after-the 1. (If one thing had been different / Would everything be different today?) i think they tried again but it didn't work.

"I can read your mind "She's having the time of her life" There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequin stars Off her silhouette every night I can show you lies"

i don't think i need to explain I Can Do it With a Broken Heart.

"And I don't even want you back, I just want to know If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

there's something about The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived that makes me think about it's related to August. i feel like it was written from August' POV.

"'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden"

self-explanatory, huh?

"Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons"

again she's haunted but i think The Black Dog is honestly about Joe.

"I'm the albatross I swept in at the rescue The devil that you know Looks now more like an angel"

again more religious imagery that i'm too tired to explain right now lmao but you know the drill

"You turned me into an idea of sorts"

she's talking about the public's perception of her

"Say it once again with feeling How the death rattle breathing Silenced as the soul was leaving The deflation of our dreaming Leaving me bereft and reeling My beloved ghost and me Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G"

"And so I changed your name and any real defining clues And one day Your kid comes home singing A song that only us two is gonna know is about you"

this is where the real deal comes in. in thanK you aIMee, it sounds like a direct reference to Kim Kardashian but she just throws this line here which makes you think... hmm. if she changed her name and any real defining clues how do we know it's about Kim? so maybe it isn't. i mean that's what she said anyways.

"I tried searching faces on streets What are the chances you'd be Downtown, downtown, downtown Does it feel alright to not know me? I'm addicted to the "if only"

feels like a reference to The One.

"I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?"

"Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me"

"A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon"

"A greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait I'm so afraid I sealed my fate No sign of soulmates"

another song where she feels doomed and cursed. honestly i think this is the saddest song from TTPD.

"You can mark my words that I said it first In a mourning warning no one heard

No one heard Not a single word was heard"

in Cassandra she once again sings about not being heard.

"Forgive me, Peter My lost fearless leader In closets like cedar Preserved from when we were just kids"

"You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me"

in Peter she once again sings about the old flame, the 1, the childhood love. we're supposed to believe the muse in question is Matty. they were both 25 when they met so it's up to you to decide if this is the childhood love. idk.

"Started with a kiss "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" But it always ends up with a town car speeding Out the drive one evening Ended with the slam of a door Then he'll call her a whore"

illicit affairs alert

so, to sum it up -

chapter "hiding in plain sight"

i. dear reader, ii. thank you aimee, iii. fortnight, iv. i can do it with a broken heart

chapter "forbidden love"

i. love story, ii. ours, iii. treacherous, iv. illicit affairs, v. cowboy like me, vi. but daddy i love him, vii. guilty as sin

chapter "i loved you in secret"

i. king of my heart, ii. dress, iii. don't blame me, iv. paris, v. glitch

chapter "the 1"

i. the 1, ii. 'tis the damn season, iii. coney island, iv. suburban legends, v. loml, so many more i'm so tired at the moment lmao let me wrap it up

chapter "passed down like folk songs"

this is the childhood best friend chapter btw

i. seven, ii. dorothea, iii. mary's song, iv. it's nice to have a friend

chapter "suburban legends"

this is the high school love chapter which could also overlap with the 1 chapter

i. 'tis the damn season, ii. coney island, iii. loml

chapter "best friend" (which could also overlap the childhood best friend and high school love chapter, i know it's so complicated)

i. maroon, ii. you are in love, iii. dress, iv. mary's song, v. it's nice to have a friend

alright so i've probably left some songs out cause i'm on my period and my mind is so foggy, like i said i'm so tired so please let me know there's anything missing.

to sum it up in a shorter way,

muse i. the best friend (which can both be the childhood best friend or the high school lovers, the one from her hometown, also can be the 1)

muse ii. illicit affairs, the one that got married, it can also overlap the prior muse idk

muse iii. this one is clearly a woman in my opinion.

IN CONCLUSION

in conclusion, there seems to be at least one hidden muse throughout taylor's discography. i feel like there's at least three. by the way - i couldn't care less whom taylor writes about. i'm just interested in the story she has to tell. and lately it's been feeling like she has been begging for us to understand her. i think she uses a lot of red herrings to hide the true muses of her songs. when you carefully listen to her whole discography there are a few stories that instantly connect to each other that is out of the narrative taylor explicitly chose to tell us about. and this is not to say that she never had a relationship with Harry or Joe or whatever - it's just that I believe there is someone else (or others) that we don't yet know about. i think the one she's known from her hometown is the most obvious one.

anyways, i'm curious to hear about your thoughts in this.