#every mental issue ever

[nyancrimew]

i am literally the cat from the "it has 72 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces" meme

#no cuz i have like every mental health issue ever and also ig i cant leave switzerland #im vibing tho #we stay silly :3

[teastainedprose]

I want to ramble about Homelander in bed. 

Blah blah "Homelander is a sub!", "NO, he's a Daddy Dom!", "No, he's!" He's whatever you want to fap to, who the fuck cares

He's none of the above. I don't think any D/s dynamic roles encapsule Homelander, not even Switching. (It's not his scene, bondage is a waste of time, this collar look stupid, don't call me that, that's weird...)

He's simply not into sticking to any set kink dynamics. (The vibes are off, fam. He'd be the vanilla boy within the BDSM dungeon. Confused and bemused.)

He doesn't have some innate desire to give up control to someone constantly, or to lead someone with a firm or gentle hand. Switching, yeah but he doesn't care enough to begin with. He's too insecure and uncertain of what he is as a person to even understand slipping into a role in the bedroom. Too volatile and what he wants and needs switches depending on his mood and/or partner.

What he is, is a starving man and his partner is the feast.

Poor idiot doesn't even know how to do intimacy properly and has gotten all of his sexual education from someone grooming him, someone paired with him for publicity, and porn.

The dude is lost. What he in bed I feel like boils down to three specific things:

Sadistic - He's a bully, he's mean, he likes watching others suffer in some form or another. (Giving pain play, orgasm denial, edging, forced orgasm, overstimulation)

GGG - Good, game, giving. He'll try anything and be up for whatever as long as his partner is into it. The dude can't be harmed in conventional ways, what's he got to fear?

Attention whore - Craves positive attention in any form (wanting to please his partner, praise kink to the MAX, receiving worship play, demanding attention, bratting, pestering and teasing, topping from the bottom)

-and then how those three things manifest depends wholly on his partner.

With Madelyn Stillwell, he wanted to be her good boy. He craved her praise and affection and he was restrained because she wanted him to be. He's a brat, he's petulent. He's needy. He's picking a fight with a toddler. She's his Mommy Dommy. I suspect she denied and teased Homelander endlessly and he took whatever scraps she gave him because he was starving for it.

With Maeve, they would have been two equals that he was horrifically territorial of. She was his and he had no issues broadcasting that to the world while emotionally intimidating her, but never getting physical. No, she's a god just like him. You can't hurt gods so why would he try?

With Stormfront, she encouraged all of his bad behavior, so Homelander was reckless and hungry. Break shit and fuck like animals, push and pull and playing with their combined strength. They're primal and at war and it's fun.

Soyeah, Homelander is going to fill whatever role suits his partner best. He's going to pay attention to what gets his partner off because he wants that positive response from them. It can be a good thing, or it can lead to the most toxic relationship possible. The man is fucked so it can go sideways fast. You're gonna need a strong constitution, a steel spine, and willpower to survive Homelander at the start else you'll get steamrolled and dropped by the plot like Becca AUGH.

Is it the fear mingled with arousal that gets them all hot and bothered like I imagine poor Hughie would feel with Homelander? Fuck, he's going to exploit that. He's gonna make that twink jump in fright every chance he gets.

What about little Starlight getting a spine and trying to play his game? Yeah, he's going to push those buttons and show her how good he can actually be for her. The gnawing need for the praise from the girl next door would eat him alive.

With Butcher? Scorched earth, baby. They're going to destroy each other in the most toxic, hate-fuck filled fest. Just tearing chunks out of each other to show the other that they can still feel. Raw and painful.

Until Homelander actually figures out who he is without his powers, status, or fame? He's going to play whatever role his partner needs, be that god, perfect gentleman, monster, or sweet boy. Then again, he's all of that and then some at once. He'll want to devour his partner in one moment, consume them wholly and just taketakeTAKE and the next he wants the intimacy that comes with being inside them/them inside him and he's so so so soft and gentle and reverent when he strokes them, and then he's a bastard who wants to twist the knife and make them beg and cry and scream and just tell him what to do, he'd do anything just to know he's loved.

-and anyway, this man is broken and the perfect putty for anyone to mold sexually consciously or subconsciously.

Not a Dom, not a sub, or a switch, but a chameleon.

#headcanons #homelander #Homelander x EVERYONE #Homelander Headcanon #these were my shower thoughts this morning #I didn't think that I'd have to point out that this is my personal headcanon n doesn't apply to EVERY SINGLE HOMELANDER bit of media EVER- #-but this is obviously my headcanon based on my D/s experience #nor does it contain EVERY POSSIBLE DYNAMIC #I didn't even put any HL x reader stuff and that's MY BRAND like- #uh #yeah #As a sub I can't claim him #the man doesn't have enough of a spine to be a REAL sub #HMPH #just a man with wet eyes and mental issues #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ah yes! the joys of executive dysfunction and something being Fundamentally Broken In Your Braincase!

#quick vent Look Away Nothing To See Here #i just needed to place my emotions somewhere before i really started to spiral #texts from cherished friends should not cause nausea-level anxiety! and yet! #here i am! running away from the ever-present miasma of guilt and stress! #you know a few months ago i was like 'im going to be better about responding im going to do better' #i Immediately started doing Worse! #i think i stressed myself out too much #pretty much every relationship i have ends up completely deteriorating due to my own insecurities and guilt and fucked up brain <3 #ah yes and how could i forget the Commitment Issues and Emotional Block #mentally i am banging my head into a wall #but its fine Its Fine #i mean its not. its really not. but sometimes it seems like the harder i try the harder i fail #which is something i should be used to by now! #okay so it looks like i Am Indeed spiraling so #i am going to go... list some good things in this world and uhhh #well i dont have the car this weekend so cant go for a drive and some boba. um. #i need to organize my room table Yes that sounds distracting and falsely productive #not gonna tag this with anything actually. #love treating tumblr like my personal diary #ah yes its just me. my personal feelings. and the couple thousand people that follow me. #perhaps i will also buy something online with one of the gift cards i found the other day #buttons from michaels!!! i need buttons! i will go do that! #with the knowledge that i have unopened messages to respond to looming in the back of my mind like a noose! yippee yahoo!!! #gonna... turn of replies/rbs just this once since its just a Vent #i just needed to get it Out yk? not looking for anything other than relieving pressure on my brain #ok it looks like i cant turn of replies for individual posts #just... pretend you didnt see this for both our sakes <3 #look away look away

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

#winters ramblings #seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have #to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God?? #what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power?? #these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want #perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no #if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao #not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion #have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians #wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole #which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist #doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because #believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop #so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know #temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy #like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems?? #youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian #of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem #its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad #because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem #because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people #and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their #religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what #morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about #it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right #can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts #who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand #maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!

[ohbo-ohno]

hozier tickets go on sale in 20 minutes and fair warning to you all: if i don't get them i am going to make it everyone here's problem

#please god let me get tickets it will cure every mental health issue ive ever had PLEASE

[silenthillbunni]

🍽️😔🎻

#soo blah blah need to vent again abt my health issue situation 💀 #yuh so like im so sick nd tired of whats going on. nd not being able to just eat whatever i feel like whenever #it's emotionall draining tbh. im always thinking abt what i could maybe try nd im always like ohh gotta make sure the portion is small etc #it's annoying me sm bc i can def feel the effects of me not getting the right nd enough nutrients nd vitamins etc etc #i get dizzy nd my vision is hazy sometimes. nd im like forgetful bc the other the when i walked home i kept getting lost nd had to walk back #nd forth several times nd i was like ?!?!? what?! i've lived here for 25yrs nd now i just cannot for the life of me rmbr the way #also i am so weak in my body. like carrying even a small amound or books nd groceries nd walking for 30min makes me exhausted #my legs are actually shaking when i get back home nd every step feels like im walking in cement #plus i just wanna be able to go to the gym nd build muscle. but if i dont get enough protein in me i cant build muscles T-T #what else... yeah also i do miss food bc of comfort. like my coffee + chcolate everyday makes me genuinely happy lmao #but i just want the food situation to be normal bc even w veggies im like oh no that is too gas building that is too hard to digest etc etc #it's mentally gruelling to not know how tf to get all the important nutrients!! i def have several deficiences lmao :(( #im so over it. but theres nothing i can do. i wish i could just not think abt it 24/7 tho #also. im the thinnest i've ever been BUT. i am constantly bloated so i look fkn pregnant. so i cant even enjoy looking the skinnier

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me #i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu #to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately. #i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked #but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago #so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer #and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones' #who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get #she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is #that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist #i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry) #and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because #i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'( #like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy #of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with #i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless #but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it

[midnight-love-song]

I am filled with all the love that was never given to me. I am not my mother.

#affirmation????? #i talk to everyone like I’ve known them forever because I’m scared no one ever wanted to know me #it’s kinda selfish bc everything I do is a plea for my mother to apologise #how hard was it? I do it every single day #I never forget a birthday #every object is a potential present #I Will stand up for you if you’re hurt #I Will stay with you if you’re scared #I don’t have to know you #emotional abuse #family issues #mommy issues #mental health #love #adhd #family #toxic mothers #toxic family #friendship #affirmations

[kyuala]

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either #anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable #and imaginable way possible like #and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam #family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life #he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good #christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif #we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for #the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would #have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only #he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life #he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our #church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty #much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl #stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the #long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an #he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING #and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY #WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time #WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE #and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me #but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this? #so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't #mari.txt #personal #tw negative #dl #btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never #had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.

[eriexplosion]

Today I physically stopped myself from engaging negatively with a post talking shit about Anakin and I think I deserve a little treat for that. I will just stay in my corner loving my very damaged boy.

#eri talks #Anyway i just don't think you can talk about his issues with possessiveness and obsessive attachment without acknowledging why he has them #its the Trauma and the Mental Illness and the total separation from the one person he ever had at the age of nine #one of my many issues with Star Wars is that it implicitly casts the existence of parent/child relationships in a negative light #this child/literal toddler is TOO ATTACHED TO THEIR PARENT aka 'has parents' remains an insane thing to present as a path to the dark side #Anakin went from a decently adjusted nine year old to 270 symptoms in a Jedi robe for several reasons #but his having to leave his mother in literal slavery with the expectation that he would never see or speak to her again is a huge one #every day i think of an order that keeps families involved with their own children #because turns out support from multiple angles makes children have less attachment issues not more

[astxrwar]

spiritual successor to let me sleep/(i am tired of my grief) bucky fic. please clap

#3k rn! he has so many Issues #getting annoyed at him even while writing this #every time he narrates as thinking rationally + follows w Thee Least Rational Shit Ever #the unreliable narrator part of the first fic becomes More Obvious #he has Problems :/ mental illness is mental illnessing #astxrwar.txt

[v-iv-rusty]

telling myself that sth is out of my control entirely and therefore it's pointless to worry and make myself feel bad or scared about it is like pouring acid directly onto my brain actually

#misc.txt #what do you mean I can't fine tune every single possibility in my general vicinity to make sure nothing bad or unpleasant occurs ever #me when I definitely don't have deep rooted control issues that grew into full blown mental illness. 👍

[sbd-laytall]

#I would just like to say that I KNOW that there are scenes where Sam slices his arm but for some reason I couldn't find any #and this gifset has been in the making for about a year so I really want to finish this #I remember I was watching Yellowjackets for the first time and I was discussing it with a mutual and I realized how much these two are alik #well there's the obvious: after traumatic experiences they endure mental health issues where they hallucinate and get electro-shock therapy #but there's also how Lottie finds comofrt in faith and religion just like Sam (at least in the beginning) #Sam has his powers that he gets from the demon blood in him and Lottie has her connection to the Wilderness so they're both kind of psychic #both of them feeling so lost and angry and being terrified of themselves #Lottie's dad wanting her to be 'fixed' and Sam's dad telling Dean that if he can't save Sam then he needs to kill Sam #and finally they just both feel very queer to me #Lottie losing Nat just like Sam losing literally every woman he's ever loved #tw electrocution #tw blood #tw self harm #hallucinations tw #lottie matthews #yellowjackets #sam winchester #supernatural #spn #gifs are mine #my post

[tacagen]

can we talk about how wrong the finish line ending is. can we talk about how barry sees snapping thawne's neck as their point of no return when thawne directly expressed hope barry can still live up to his idealised expectations several times and even spoke of how exactly he can achieve that. can we talk about how barry while having the best intentions fucks with thawne's speed and timeline resetting him to a humble curator with no powers and makes their situation a THOUSAND times worse when thawne comes back as reverse-flash because that reset is a direct and ultimate confirmation of barry's desire to forget thawne and make it like he never existed (the very thing that motivates thawne to mess with barry at all, the very thing he went insane about and which led him to becoming reverse-flash) and how thats similar to creation of the flashpoint which was done with good intentions and changed the world forever even after being undone. can we talk about how it also resembles lobotomy as in permanently fucking up persons brain and its necessary functions to make them more calm and controllable in their mental illness instead of actually helping them which takes a lot more time thought and effort and how that was a quick and seemingly effective but inherently destructive solution. can we talk about how barry by taking away eobard's powers also takes his freedom from societal expectations and standards of his time he clearly didnt fit in and 25th century in general. can we talk about how barry also took the only good memories thawne ever had aka their moments together and especially their first meeting which thawne saw as perfect and held very dearly just like any other interaction with barry including the reverse era ones. can we talk about how fucking intrusive, invalidating and selfish is the whole concept of erasing any kind of memories from another persons brain, no matter how hurtful or bad or self-sabotaging those can be especially involuntarily and how only the said person should have control over that because that is their damn life. can we talk about what such betrayal will do to a man who previously became the reverse-flash just because of one single phrase that he thought was something special only between him and barry. can we talk about how this time thawne paradoxically didnt even do anything to deserve that because he never met barry and never had such possibility in the first place. can we t

#reverse flash #eobard thawne #professor zoom #the flash #barry allen #eobarry ig? #listen i dont blame barry for that. thawne tortured him beyond any comprehension and the reset is understandable #that was one of the kindest solutions he could come up with considering the countless trauma thawne caused him. i get it. i see the effort. #but 1) im talking from thawne and his mental fucking issues perspective (and also my own bc he just like me fr) #like considering those HUGE ASS abandonment issues this is objectively the worst thing barry could ever do to him #2) also understandable but i cant believe barry (AND josh williamson.) didnt think ANY further than how Noble and Forgiving the reset is #he KNOWS thawne always comes back no matter what and yet he cannot make the logical conclusion that this will only hurt eo EVEN MORE #like my dude i get youre not on the best terms with timelines and changes to them but what youve done here is the ACTUAL point of no return #also i firmly believe that the 'peaceful' curator life is a fate worse than every death thawne ever experienced combined #there is so much potential in post!fl continuation where nothing in his life feels right and he can see the reverse era in his nightmares #i will make a separate post about it someday because i have So many thoughts on that that its a whole au at this point

[calaveracarnival]

i'm just going to keep letting you hurt me

and deep down some broken part of me will keep hoping every time that you'll love me enough not to hurt me again

but that's never how it goes, is it?

#mood #bpd #bpd vent #heartbreak #abandonment #betrayal #hurt #bpd favorite person #abuse #attachment #mental illness #mental health issues #every person i have ever gotten attached to has badly hurt me

[wutheringmights]

.

#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life #woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour #i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom #i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess #earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like #2 weeks straight #i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house #i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you #i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control #fucking sucks man #i hate ibs #in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work? #ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick. #it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school #while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick #but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then #but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off #and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh #this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person