#every time I’m come to tumblr it’s like ‘hey remember THAT! LET’S GET EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT!! AGAIN’

[gabessquishytum]

hey so do you remember the hysterical literature video series that was all over tumblr back in the day. the ones where they had a porn star sitting at a table, reading from a book, while sitting on a vibrator? iirc they're on youtube if you don't know what i'm talking about (it was stoya's that was especially popular 'round these parts and if you're not familiar DEFINITELY check it out)

anyway. porn star!hob and author!dream. hob does a hysterical literature video and picks dream's book to read from. for extra orgasms fun, trans hob. he explains the premise at the beginning of the video and mentions that he's going to be reading a full chapter and he is going to finish reading it no matter how many times he comes -- and as soon as he starts, dream immediately realizes that he's picked the longest chapter in the book.

(by halfway through the recording, when hob's gasping for breath and letting out little whines between sentences, dream's already wondering if he could commission hob to read the entire book. dream wants to listen to nothing else for the rest of his life. and if he wants to share, he's pretty sure hob could record the most incredible audiobook)

-🐈‍⬛

First of all. Sjsjsjsjwjsjww. I’m kissing you. Second of all. It’s been maybe 10 years since I watched the Stoya video from that series?? And let me tell you, it STILL hits different. I can only recommend that everyone head over the YouTube, stat. Anyway.

Hob is a pretty popular porn star, he’s got a decent following. One of the things that people enjoy is his voice, so he thinks this could be fun thing to do! Dream is one over those fans, he’s followed Hob’s career with interest from afar and he’s pleasantly surprised to see this new content pop up.

Dream, meanwhile, is an author. He writes a range of stuff but he’s famous for his erotic novels. They’re extremely well reviewed by literary critics and he’s considered to be a bit of a genius. Hob is a huge fan, has all his books, so it’s probably no surprise that he chooses to read from Dream’s latest novel.

The video is a good 45 minutes long. Hob sits there, wearing a simple white t-shirt. He’s only visible above the waist, but he promises that it’s going to be fun anyway. He’s going to finish the chapter, even if he passes out half way through.

(Dream nearly has a heart attack, hearing his own written words coming out of Hob’s mouth. He has to take a moment before he can continue.)

The first five minutes goes easily enough. Hob smiles occasionally, momentarily bites his lip or flexes his fingers. He reads without any mistakes. But slowly, slowly he starts to unravel. He’s squirming, clenching his fists. He trips over a word or two. Then there are little sounds, half moans and whimpers. He tumbles through a sentence, unable to make his tongue work, so he repeats himself. He’s starting to gasp for breath. He cums on the vibrator for the first time after a few pages, and the floodgates are open. He can’t sit still. Every word is dripping with arousal. He’s rocking back and forth and grasping the book like a life line. But he doesn’t rush towards the end of the chapter, oh no. Dream’s work deserves better. He tearfully whimpers through the second and third orgasms but he annunciates each word perfectly. He’s practically sweated through his thin t-shirt so his gorgeous chest is more or less on display. But he doesn’t let go of the book to touch his nipples or adjust the vibrator. He’s busy enjoying what Dream has written, making sure that he conveys the emotional strength of the writing.

He cums five times, each one louder and more messy than the last, before he finally finishes the chapter and slumps over on the table, with a weak grin towards the camera. He tells everyone to go buy Dream’s books. And promises to record more, if people like it.

And Dream pulls his hand out of his sticky boxers, wipes it clean, and shakily fires off an email to the agency Hob is represented by. He’ll get Hob to record his entire collected works, if he can. He’s already wondering what Hob will sound like at the end of reading his 600 page magnum opus…

#🐈‍⬛ anon #the sandman #dreamling #dream x hob #nsft #absolutely feral about this in case u can’t tell

[multi-fandomsfreak]

hello, hope you're doing well you're the only one on this site who writes for exe's/horrorbrews and i can't be more grateful. if it's not too much of a bother, could i request for some general relationshipp headcannons for GB Mario?

GB Relationship Headcanons

Hey there thanks for the ask!

I’m glad you enjoy my exe/horrorbrew content. Honestly I rarely see those types of fics of them not just on tumblr but on other websites and often re-read existing ones so I’d thought I could provide it. Hope you like it. ~ J/Blaze

Pronouns: Not Mentioned

Warning: ❌

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: GB

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by Mario Madness Crew (Edited by Me) + Banner by iHugYeojin on Pinterest

———————————

- I just want to say for those who want to be in a relationship with GB is to be prepared for him. As much as I love him and I don’t mean this in a bad way but he really is something. I can imagine him as some sort of trickster regardless of if he is in a relationship or not. He likes to tease you; he's just naturally like that. Seeing your reactions to it is what strives him to be around you. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect your boundaries. If you genuinely want him to stop then he will. He really likes you and wants to make sure you're comfortable especially when it comes to someone like him.

- I like to think that he is surprisingly clingy, especially around you. You could literally be doing something minding your own business then you would feel his arms wrapped around you with him clinging onto you for dear life. You can’t do anything without him being near you. Obviously you don’t really mind this because everyone has that thing about them but if you think about it it’s kind of creepy that one minute you're alone the boom he’s suddenly here. It definitely catches you off guard more than enough times.

- He’s also very flirty towards you and I mean that. He’s REALLY flirty towards you. As mentioned in my first point he likes to tease you and he usually does it by flirting with you. He ranges from complimenting you to straight up just touching you. As suggestive as it sounds he just likes to feel every part of you. From your face to your body, he likes every part of you regardless of what you look like or if you're confident in yourself.

- Creepily enough he knows what you like and often likes to get said things for you. He often remembers what you mentioned towards him for example if you offhandedly said you wanted or liked something expect to see it in your room the next day or even sooner.

- I like to think it would take him a bit to get him jealous but when he does get jealous it’s really bad. He doesn’t outright say or show that he is but it’s kind of obvious when he is. You just have this feeling that he is and you are usually right. Like some secret sense. You can probably guess from the other exe’s/horrorbrew fics but obviously due to his nature and personality, he could do a range of things to people he is jealous of. He definitely isn’t afraid of using his other form to at least scare those people off. If he is feeling somewhat nice enough. But he doesn’t like to use this form when around you because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable because he lets his emotions get the better of him.

- He also likes to keep what happens to him and his victims away from your business, only telling you if he absolutely has to but regardless he keeps it to himself. Obviously it doesn’t change the fact that you know what he is, you knew what you were getting into when you first met him and started developing feelings and pursuing said feelings with him. But you kind of appreciate him being careful around you to be honest you rather not know what he does.

- He honestly appreciates you sticking around him. Even with his nature you still stick around him. All teasing and joking coming from him aside he doesn’t really know what he would do if he hadn’t met you. Like sure he would be doing what he usually does but without you or getting to see you after all that, seeing your face realizing he’s back and immediately going up to him. It just sounds boring to him without you and he doesn’t want to imagine it actually happening.

———————————

#gb #gb x reader #gb mario #gb mario x reader #mario madness gb #mario madness gb x reader #mario madness #mario madness x reader #mario.exe #mario.exe x reader #horrorbrew #horrorbrew x reader #x reader #request

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hey, i hope you’re ok. i’ve been watching this whole thing unfold from the sidelines since it first started, and it’s been wild because it’s been like watching what i went through when i first watched GO, from the outside. i’m so sorry we as a fandom introduced you to this godawful heartbreak, but also, if you’re anything like me, you wouldn’t want it any other way because it’s just. so perfect. good omens genuinely rewired my brain chemistry and is easily the best piece of media i have ever seen. even though it has destroyed me, i am so grateful i decided to watch it. i share all your feelings about crowley. i have So Many Feelings About Crowley. after s2 i reacted just as violently as you did lol. i will say, it does get easier with time. for the first two weeks i genuinely could not think about anything other than the Pain (lol), but now i’m fully functional again! i still think about Them every hour of every day, but now i think about other things in between too. so it gets better! commiserating with fellow Good Omens Brainrot sufferers helped make me feel a lot less alone, especially in the beginning. and now that it hurts less, i’ve actually found quite a comforting family of sorts in this fandom. make sure you make room for other things too though!!! take a few days just to be emotionally devastated, but after that try and go outside or spend some time with friends or family. eventually it will fade to a comfortable level of obsession and you’ll feel okay again. it’s a lot less scary now that we know season 3 is coming. and even though it hurts. there’s something sort of beautiful and exquisite about being moved this strongly by a piece of artwork, i think. sorry for this long ramble, i just wanted to express my support and let you know that you’re not alone i guess.

Hello anon maggot! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, please don't apologise, it's so touching to read. This fandom really is beautiful, isn't it, and it's so crazy to see how much art and creativity inspired it as well as was inspired by it. It's such a kind community and it's wild how strangers have bonded over Good Omens and become so tight-knit. And yes, Crowley. Just Crowley. I am in love with them. I'm glad you've also found a family in this batshit insane and loving fandom.

Yeah, I'm trying to remember to take a break *looks away guiltily* whenever I'm not on tumblr I just seem to pull a Crowley and sleep through the day. It's been such a rollercoaster of emotions.

Why did I say that. Everyday, it's a-getting closer, going faster than a rollercoa-

Oops.

#good omens mascot #good omens #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #crowley #good omens fandom #maggots #lgbtqia #ineffable brainrot #good omens brainrot #ineffable husbands #final fifteen

[another-day]

hey guys, its been a while since i’ve done one of these, but i’m bringing it back - episodes in review!!! (that’s its name now)

featuring spoilers for iii episode 17!! make sure you watch that before you check this out

i feel like this episode was all over the place in the best way possible

for those unaware, i’m actually in the northern hemisphere for once which is why this is so late, i simply haven’t the time to watch it!!

to begin, why is he here

i love the asset yes, but cheesy is the last person i expected to see, is this balloon projecting the people he wanted to be friends with at the hotel??? i dunno, but this was such a silly scene

now, i had to rewind this bit at least five times to process what i saw

so remember what i said about balloon projecting? scratch that, i forgot this was a thing

first the fact that when he thought of fighting a shark the FIRST scenario that came to mind was him saving candle, that and the fact that he imagined her calling him “my spoon in silver armour” was so silly this fellow has read nothing but fairytales ever ok

also he was literally blushing do i have to say anything about that here? no, because this is tumblr and everyone understands everything

“awwwh but vee he turned go” shhhh sh i’m gonna get to that but can we just revel in this

…

okay lets move on now

why are they here

i’ve been on a bfdi binge lately so i was actually very happy seeing coiny also the line about balloon only making friends with coins was so funny to me and i’m keeping that forever

as for paper he was so silly in this and for what, i love the guy

okay back to serious stuff

can i just say, the first thing i thought when i saw this scene was “that’s something cobs would say”

like,,, i was kind of terrified this entire episode because mephone’s desperation to chase his aspiration reminded me of just cobs’ whole demeanour. i know its a little silly of me, but this idea that ‘revolutionary technology’ should solve it all is just a liiiittle too similar to the way i feel meeple functions

but maybe thats just me i dunno

do i really need to say anything

little mans has attachment issues, i don’t think he actually likes the contests and all that as much as he actually likes the contestants, and i don’t think he realises he can just be friends with them

i feel so bad because he’s been brainwashed by the people around him that he thinks that the only thing giving him purpose is this show, its tragic

okay so back to the silly, this caught me so off guard because i adored enanimat ensanitay and yellowangiru’s ii song parody videos when i was younger, so seeing this gave me such bad whiplash i had to pause and think a second

it was such a random callback (if it is at all) and i absolutely loved it

oh back to the sad again wow!!

i think mephone’s realising his fault in managing the show, getting too ahead of himself when presented the promise of longer air times, but the issue is that he thinks that this shows he isn’t fit to run the show at all

i think this belief that “one mistake means your conpletely incapable” may have stemmed from meeple in some form or another, especially considering all the flashbacks and all

this brings me so much emotion

look at how far they’ve come, like genuinely. from worst enemies to one of the closest friendships in season 3

they can communicate, they can be vulnerable with one another, and they’ve improved one another substantially

i often tell people that i’m not the biggest fan of iii3 because they almost completely changed nickel’s personality, and i still relatively stand by that, but seeing this version of nickel who is capable of change and development just warms my heart (even if it feels wrong)

this was so so sweet, and i was smiling every second of the elimination (i would say a first but box’s elimination existed too)

aaaaanyway that’s all from me, thank you for listening to my rambles about this gem of an episode, and i wish you all well till the next!!!

#inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity invitational #iii 17 #iii 17 spoilers #ii spoilers #iii spoilers #i miss doing this it has been soooooo long #sillyposting #technically

[inktae]

it's been so long, but i used to talk to you as an anon called "titania". anyway, something randomly made me think of you and how much i used to enjoy your stories (i'm probably rereading some of them soon) and i just wanna say that i hope you're happy. :)

Hello there!!! 

Soooo, yeah…. probably very surprising I’m showing up around here what, 3-4 years later!? Whoops 😅 really sorry about that guys.

But I don’t know… recently I’ve been thinking a lot of tumblr, and all the good memories I have from this place. Something just compelled me to come here today, and seeing all of the recent messages (yours included, Titania ❤️) of people that still remember me, after all this time, warms my heart and makes me tear up. It’s honestly amazing that the impact my stories had all those years ago is still present and fresh to some people. It makes me feel genuinely happy!! 

I thought I owed you guys a quick update on my life and how I’ve been doing, and hey, if you also want to chat and/or just send me a message, it’s absolutely welcome :) 

So… where to start!? A lot has changed since I was active in here, it’s been so long (can’t believe I’m almost 30 years old :D). I remember the years I was a BTS fanfic writer as a turbulent time in my past, which I don’t think I ever truly showed on here. Writing was an escape, and writing angst was my way of dealing with emotions I didn’t know how to manage (now I do, yay therapy). It’s probably the reason why I was so good at it — all of that sadness was inside myself and it was the only way I could let it out.

I don’t write anymore, haven’t had for a while (probably a couple years), but it’s something I want to go back to eventually. I suppose it’s hard to find motivation when it’s not an escape anymore, and it was more of a tool I needed to survive back then. Now that life is much better, it’s hard to find a reason to sit down and write for hours, getting lost in fantasy worlds. But hopefully I’ll find it sooner or later — it’s definitely a skill I don’t want to abandon. Just need to get into a new kind of mindset, I guess :)

So, as for life updates… like I said, a lot has changed! I believe I was still living with my parents when I was last active here (2018). A few months after that I moved out, became independent, and quickly realized how toxic my family life was. I obtained a new kind of freedom and learnt more about myself than I ever had in the past. Leaving my parents and lowering contact with them definitely changed me for the better, which I believe is why I stopped needing to write so much. 

I lived with three roommates for a while, which wasn’t smooth sailing... I didn’t connect with them in any way, and I was still learning how to live on my own, which came with its own problems and unfortunately provoked lots of fights amongst us ^^’ so that was definitely a learning period heh. I left after a year to live with another friend, which went WAY better, and then, as life would have it, I met a very cute, incredible boy who is still my partner to this day and the most important person in my life. 

We have been living together for a year and even have a dog together! a very stubborn, very rebellious but absolutely gorgeous 1 year old pup :)) honestly it’s an amazing relationship, it’s not perfect and we’ve obviously had some rocky moments, but we have healthy communication and we understand each other like no one else does. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself, because I never thought I would ever meet someone like him, someone I could connect with so deeply. We have been together for almost 2 years, and still going very strong. It's a very stable and solid relationship, we're both into therapy and communicating every issue (though I have to say he's way more emotionally mature than I am haha) which is amazing.

I’m also into spiritualism these days and spend quite a lot of time getting to know myself, learning about breaking down social constructs and inner beliefs, meditation and practicing mindfulness. It’s something I’m excited to continue exploring and it has led me to want a quieter life for myself in the future. Bf and I are actually making plans for the longterm to move far away from the city center, so we can live closer to nature and feel more connected to the earth (sounds like hippie stuff but I promise it's not lol).

To give you one last anecdote (a not so happy one) I did get covid twice and it was absolute HELL for me, even developed pneumonia which was no fun and quite scary. I hope none of you guys had to go through this and if you got covid (statistically speaking, chances are most of you did) I hope it wasn't as destructive as it was for me.

I think that's it! the important stuff, at least. Honestly, if you told me 4 years ago this was going to be my life I would have laughed in your face. I’ve come a long way (mostly thanks to therapy!!) and I have so many exciting plans for the future that I can’t wait for. :’)

So.. even though coming back here and being active as a tumblr writing is not in my plans anymore, I do remember this blog with so much fondness. It definitely saved me and protected me back then, it helped me feel less alone and played an important part in growing my confidence, mostly thanks to readers and followers like you, who cheered me on and believed in me even if you didn’t know me personally. You guys really have no idea how much you helped me.

I will read over the messages you guys have been leaving me these last few years, and like I said, if you want to chat and leave me a message you’re welcome to do so. I’m not writing fanfics anymore but I’d still be very happy to hear from you all.

If you read all of this, thank you ❤️ I wish you all well and I hope you’re all doing amazing!!

Mari

#thank you so much Titania for reaching out! it makes me happy you still remember me! #<33333

[andro-dino]

Hey! It’s CureDeity (sorry tumblr makes me ask from my main). I am here, in your inbox today, to rattle my little empty coin can and ask you to list some of your favorite beyblade fanfics! I’m going around asking a lot of people this, so feel free to ignore it if you want, but I thought this might be a good way for people to shout out some of the fanfic they really enjoy! Btw, if you can, I thought it would be helpful to list which site this fic was on so others could find it easier if they wanted to. Also, if you’ve written any fic (or have fic ideas, as we all know, imagining the same scene over and over again is the bread and butter of a writer), please also take this chance to have a massive, amazing ego and tell us which of your fics you're most proud of/is your favorite/etc.

WOOO LETS GO

I don’t read a ton of fics, mostly because I just don’t like reading as a whole and usually don’t have the energy for it, so I apologize if I skip over anyone

All of these are going to be on ao3 because I’ll die before I seriously venture into the wastelands (wattpad and ffnet)

So, starting with my own fics, tbh I tend to hate most of them immediately after I post them, but the two I’m most proud of still are A Confrontation and Hyoma’s Experience in Perpetual Loneliness. Both focus on characters with a lot of angst potential and I still really like how they came out. Confrontation made me genuinely upset while writing it so I was pretty dang confident in it, while Perpetual Loneliness explored a more bittersweet kind of feeling and the complexities of Hyoma’s attachment issues and ways of coping with loneliness in his life that i really like to develop. Also a shameless excuse to write soft domestic kyohyotsu, which is always a plus.

As for you deity, obviously you have a lot of bangers and carry the fanfic side of this fandom on your back, but a couple of my personal favorites from you are the one you made for me with a title too long for me to want to type it out and Ursa Minor. I love the gift fic for the super interesting story, wonderful interactions between starbreaker, emotional scenes that made me sob, and investment I felt in Faust and Zeo’s relationship, AND OBVS YOURE A FUCKING MADLAD FOR WRITING ME A 27K FIC WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU (I still have fanart I need to make of that btw I will get to it eventually I prommy). And Ursa Minor was one that I read early on getting into the fandom and it’s just really gentle and sweet and I liked it a lot. Obviously all your fics are bangers but those are my personal favs.

@lady-lazagna has so many bangers too it’s also hard to choose just a few. The first one that came to mind for me was her mayblade collection, which is just full of absolute bangers all the way through, and then I also remembered Warm Welcome Home because it was cute and made me laugh and I am indeed a sucker for tsujack content

OBVIOUSLY I can’t go without mentioning @heybeyby ‘s fdwdbg because as soon as shekel pitched the idea to me we talked about it for genuinely like 6 hours straight. Every time she brings up a new idea for it I start spinning around at rapid speeds and I am so excited to see how it takes the story in the future because it is gonna be so goddamn good.

One of my favorite fics ever of all time without a doubt is Irisviel101’s Chrysanthemum , which is probably obvious coming from me because it’s a takanosuke and sakyo centric fic, BUT IT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD AND CUTE AND FUNNY AND IT MAKES MY HEART EXPLODE EVERY TIME I READ IT AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH GOD ITS SO GOOD PLS READ IT IF YOU HAVENT

I also can’t go without mentioning Gesso by Arcylic because I absolutely adore how they wrote jack and Zeo together and it’s what made me absolutely fall in love with their friendship dynamic, and what originally inspired me to write Zeo’s Experience in Team Starbreaker

This one. This one goes without saying anything. I just totally adore it and I love the dynamics explored between the characters here.

There’s probably definitely some I’m forgetting here but these are a good couple I wanted to highlight

BUT ALSO.

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS UNTIL RECENTLY. I CANNOT REMEMBER WHEN THIS KYOYA/TSUBASA FIC WAS POSTED BUT I READ IT AGES AGO AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT BUT I CANNOT FIND IT NOW. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO POSTED IT OR WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND ALL I HAVE OF IT IS THIS SCREENSHOT

I fucking loved this fic and I have no idea what happened to it

#praying I got all those links right #i was gonna add something else in the tags but I completely forgot what I was gonna say

[jungwnies]

my dearest, my loveliest, my most talented and only maeby baby hi!! ^^

sorry i've been mia, last week my mom went on a business trip and cause she didn’t want me alone at home and my sister ordering an uber alone at 9pm i spent a couple of days with her at uni!

my sister is a (visual) arts major (also her school is hUGE) so i was able to see a lot of cute stuff and learn a lil bit of info (i learned about printers in one class and hey! actually very interesting, of course I did not retain any information but believe me it was fun and interesting ^^)

i also managed to experiment a little bit with my air dry clay projects and just made a lil bowl and a cup which even tho it was my first time they turned out so cute 🥺 (also my sister found out that they do a little flea market situation at her school like every month and she said that i could go there and try to sell some of my stuff! let’s hope I sell well! 🤞🏻)

on a not so happy note, after like almost 5 months without it, in two weeks im having a therapy session 😖, i dont remember if I’ve mentioned this before but ya girl used to go to therapy since like 2018 but this year i had to stop due to financial difficulties and for some time now i've been dealing with some… stuff that im pretty sure need a lil bit of guidance so i just scheduled by session with my therapist (kinda sad tho, doing it without my mom knowing but ya gotta to what you gotta do), hopefully it’s just a small bump and i can go back on track unu

(also you’ve heard avatar is going back on theaters for like a week ahhhh like the highlight of the month so far hahaha)

are u back in school? how’s it going? i know it’s easier said than done but pls don’t stress and you know it: take your breaks, chill, drink water, eat your meals and snacks, listen to some tunes and try to do something that you love! (one of my goals for when before the year is over is to read at least two physical books again! do you have any goals you are still aiming to accomplish? ^^)

sending so much love to exactly wherever you are ring know 💗💗💗🍪(i was eating a cookie just now so you get one as well)

love you maeby baby <3

take care, im always rooting for you! （＾∇＾）

- 🧸anon

omg ofc never feel obligated to message me often, just seeing your emoji pop up on my notifications is enough even if it’s not all the time. it’s always so heartwarming when you come into my inbox 💕

i think it’s cool that’s your sister is a visual arts major, a lot of my friends went to the school of performing and visual arts and i was the one who went to the school of arts and sciences 😂 university was fun before i actually had to start taking classes, but it’s not that bad and it’s kind of fun on some days.

also i hope that your air dry clay items sell well wherever you desire to sell them 👏👏 they seem so cute i want one now 👉👈

i completely understand financial problems and stopping something because of them, but i’m really happy to hear that you’re going back because that means you’re acknowledging that thoughts and behaviors you have (it’s always good to be aware of your emotions) so i’m really proud of you for going, even if you didn’t tell your mom. even if it’s a small bump, everyone deserves a chance to talk about it right? 💗

(i’m super excited for the new avatar to come out, im anxious waiting for it LOL)

school on the other hand for me has been going really well so far, i am an ESL major, and i minor in psychology so it’s really fun especially at my school. my main goals are being able to balance social media (tumblr) and my personal life :) i really enjoy writing here so i hate when i face any delays but of course that’s normal for any writer on here.

sending you lots of love and care where you are as well mwa mwa 💕💕💞

#🧸 ― jungwnies #🧸 #🧸 anon #answered #⌦ .｡.:*♡ ― inbox #📥 — jungwnies

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? I just wanna get out of this damn hospital, go home, and be able to eat actual food and drink actual drinks. 

2. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No.

3. What is the last thing you had a craving for? Ugh, everything right now. 

4. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Yeah. 

5. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? My online shopping got out of hand, but honestly it brought me some joy and I needed that, so I don’t see it as a waste. Same with my DoorDash deliveries. 

6. What’s the last thing you had stuck in your head? I don’t remember. 

7. What was the last “good” thing to happen to you? Uhhh.

8. Last awkward situation you were in? Who knows. 

9. Think of the last time you were sick – what were you sick with? I haven’t had a cold or something of that sort in awhile, but I’ve had other health shit going on.

10. How do you think your life would change without social media? It would take away a lot of what I spend my time doing. It’s Tumblr and YouTube I’d have a hard time without cause I’m on both all the time. It would suck.

11. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? I need a new laptop. I’m so grateful my brother let me use his, especially now as I’m stuck in the hospital. It’s been really nice having it. 

12. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? I’m not a cook/baker, but I have so many recipes saved on my Pinterest that I want my brother and mom to make for me, ha.

13. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? Remembering the time it was taken and what was going on. Lots of nostalgia. Lots of cringe, too. Although, compared to my appearance now... I’ll take the old photos. No glow-up here, I went severely downhill. 

14. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? I tried asking my optometrist for my glasses prescription so I can just oder a new pair for now while I’m in the hospital, but they never responded.  15. Would you say your emotions are fairly stable and predictable throughout a week’s time, or not so much? I can always count on good ol’ mr. depression to be there for me. 

16. Are you friends with your family members on any social media platforms? Yeah, a lot of my family. That’s mainly what I use Facebook for.

17. How do you get your news? Online, mostly. Some on TV.

18. How often do you drive? I don’t drive. 

19. If you had to go (back) to school and completely change your career path, what would you choose to study/pursue? I have no idea. I’ve thought about that since I no longer want to pursue psychology. I don’t know what else I would have majored in, honestly. 

20. Are there any TV shows you constantly quote or know almost every line to? Not really, but I could.

21. What do you think about lizards? Ew.

22. Is there anything that people assume about you that isn’t true, and that you find very irritating? I’m sure, I’m just blanking at the moment. 

23. How would you rate your “detective” skills? I think I’m pretty good, ha.

24. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? I haven’t. I’d be open to it depending on what it is. Hey, free stuff.

25. How do you feel if you are late arriving to meet someone? How about if someone is late meeting you? I hate being late and feel bad if someone has to wait for me. I’m also impatient, so while I’m understanding, I still get annoyed when someone is late (unless it’s just a few minutes).

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[brittney-brutal]

How are you doing? Not so active anymore :(

Growth is a powerful thing.

As I look back on the last year of my life, it’s honestly been traumatic as shit.

I hadn’t truly been happy in a while. The emotional damage of missing my son was getting to me every single day.

I was in an abusive relationship with someone that never truly loved me.

I was miserable because I felt trapped.

My boyfriend at the time wanted me to have intimate relationships with other people but still wanted me as “his”. The emotional abuse was out of this world, and I couldn’t commit to what I felt was “cheating”.

Until I met someone.

In November of 2021 I met someone. A cocky motherfucker, and I told him I knew it was an act from the start. He had my energy. I started to stay up waiting for him to respond, I started finding myself thinking about him through the day. Keeping it a secret was hard, if only for a short time. My boyfriend didn’t want me talking to anyone else but yet he wanted me to fuck other people. Which never happened since I have issues lmao, never had a hoe phase but I’m a hoe for one person 😂

Anyway, I couldn’t take being secretive like that and he eventually found out that I was talking to someone and flipped his shit, even though I was doing what he wanted me to do. So he had a mental breakdown a few days before thanksgiving and I had to tell my “newfound love interest” that I’d catch him on the flip side, bc this one was just having the hardest time and I couldn’t take the leap of faith and cut that shit off bc at the time I was living with him and didn’t really have an option to leave.

So I did what I do best and I told Bryson “hey I gotta go, he’s going mental, I’ll come back when it’s safe” and six months went by like nothing. During this six months, I went to Indiana, Chicago, saw Kevin Gates in concert with a new friend I made, saw A Day to Remember, Asking Alexandria, and Point North. I went home to Florida for Christmas, and for my sons birthday. I turned 26, I grew closer to my friends, I left a job and started a new one, and then April 2022 happened.

April 2022 was turmoil, beautiful chaos if you will.

April 2nd I decided to say fuck it and go with my friend to buy her first gun. She then decided to take me to gatlinburg for the first time since I moved here. We went down Main Street and ate footlong corn dogs and ate Belgian waffles with ice cream and tried fruit salsa and wine. I decided I couldn’t stop thinking about Bryson for the last six months that finally I gave in and reached back out. Surprisingly he never stopped thinking about me either, told his friends about me and everything. The timing of the universe had never been more perfect.

That kept for like two weeks. Boyfriend found out again because he went through my phone, and I just didn’t care at that point to hide it anymore I was so miserable. I went to brysons one day and then was threatened with the breaking of all my shit. Real domestic situation. Cops came, they let me get my shit and leave. I had nowhere to go, my friend is still letting me stay with her at her parents house. I went back to brysons that same night and cried in his arms and he has protected me ever since.

I’m happy. And not that fake happy shit I used to be. Yeah I miss my son terribly, but this man makes me look forward to every new day. I work for the state government now, I’m picking myself back up and starting at square one all over again. But this time I won’t fail. This time I have the support, and the love I need and always wanted. This is the love you wait for. This is the love you hear about at 75th wedding anniversaries. This is the love that makes romance movies look boring.

I’m finally being loved the way I need to be able to flourish. I love my job, I love my child. I want to be better every single day.

I will forever have this blog, until tumblr becomes defunct. I will forever love that I’ve now had this blog for eleven years and the shit it has seen. But no more is it my diary, my confidante. I have happiness. I have love. I have everything that I begged the universe for within the entries of this blog for the last eleven years. And trust me, i would do it all over again if it meant I still had bryson.

Growth is imperative, growth is uncomfortable. Growth is knowing you can do better, and being better.

I have grown.

#personal #anon #life

[fandomfairyuniverse]

Me: okay maybe we can stop thinking about ep 5 now

My brain (and dashboard): no ❤️

#i will never know peace #it’s fine #every time I’m come to tumblr it’s like ‘hey remember THAT! LET’S GET EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT!! AGAIN’ #my brain also won’t let me rest it’s on constant repeat #sigh #bad buddy

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Shield

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 5595

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, John Walker, Emotions, Character Death, Mentions of Blood, I know people had a hard time with that last scene so please take caution because it is in this part! GIF at end is the ending scene, so be careful when you get towards the bottom! I feel like I’m forgetting some, so just know this one’s a bit more than the others.

A/N: Here it is, folks! The Part we’ve all been waiting for! It’s the longest one I’ve written so far but so much happened and I couldn’t find a better spot to end it than where the episode ended. Thank you all for being patient with me today. I know I didn’t get this out as quickly as I would’ve the past few weeks, but you guys are so awesome! Seriously! I love that you understand I do have a life and work comes first! Thank you, thank you!

This Part is a doozy, guys, and…I’m sorry? But not really. I’m SUPER excited to see where this is gonna go, especially considering Episode 5 is supposed to be the real tear jerker. I can’t believe there’s only two more episodes! I’ve grown so attached to these characters just in the past month! I’m so glad I’m able to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you guys, too! You’re honestly the best!

I’ll be doing more One Shots this week, so look for those on the Masterlist. I’m still taking requests for them, so if there’s anything you want explored about the reader and her relationships that you don’t think will be explored in this Series, just ask and I’ll try to add it to the One Shot list.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

(I couldn’t decide on which GIF to use because there are so many good ones! Thank you Tumblr Creators!)

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“Doll…hey. Doll. C’mon, sweetheart. We gotta get moving.”

You cracked your eyes open begrudgingly, squinting up to see Bucky’s amused grin, head tilted and eyes soft. “Huh?”

He chuckled as you rubbed your eyes, confusion lifting an eyebrow. “The funeral. Zemo said we’ve gotta go if we’re gonna make it in time.”

“Wait, but…huh?”

Sniggering again at your reaction, he held up your phone. “You passed out in the middle of a chapter, sleepyhead.” He teased lightly, grabbing your hand and gently pulling you to sit upright. “It’s almost been an hour.”

You huffed tiredly, stretching and placing your feet on the floor, taking back the phone he held out to you. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You haven’t been sleeping well.” He stated, like it should’ve been obvious. “How’s your arm feeling?”

“Better than earlier. It’s just sore. That’s all.”

He studied your features for any hint of a lie. Not finding one, he nodded, holding out his hand. “Okay. But tell me if it starts bothering you.”

You placed your hand in his, marveling for a split second at how big his hands were compared to yours - something you noticed every time but still it never ceased to astound you. He tugged you up, and you looked up to meet his worried eyes, remembering his question.

“I will, Buck. Promise.”

He nodded, tilting his head towards the door. “C’mon, cuddle bug. We don’t wanna miss this.”

A groan passed your lips, but you nodded and followed Bucky out into the main room, where Sam chuckled at you from his spot at the table. “Sleeping beauty has finally awoken.”

You flipped Sam off groggily. “Are we going or not?”

“Do you wanna wake up s’more first?”

“No.” You answered the one armed brunette. “I’ll just splash some water on my face or something. I’ll be fine by the time we get there. Where’s-”

“Looking for me?”

Zemo strolled out, now dressed in that coat of his, that smug smirk on his lips. You scowled. “I wish I wasn’t.”

Sam stood up, standing subconsciously between you and Zemo. “Let’s head out.”

You nodded in agreement, shooting the Baron one more glare, before following him out the door and into the city, Bucky right besides you, shoulders brushing as if you weren’t ignoring him just hours prior.

The walk was mostly silent, a few jests between Bucky and Sam plus a couple comments from Zemo here and there. You talked about strategy, with Sam bringing up the fact that he wanted to try convincing Karli to step down. Zemo didn’t look pleased with the arrangement, but both you and Bucky relented, agreeing to let Sam at least try.

It wasn’t until you were close to your destination according to Zemo that anything exciting happened.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit!”

Hell. No. 

The moment the voice registered in your brain, your jaw tightened, your teeth starting to grind together as you held back the very not nice things you wanted to say. 

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky called out, tucking you into his side protectively, and a little possessively you noted, as Walker and Hoskins came down the steps, the two groups nearing each other.

You were relieved when the subject of Zemo escaping jail went by relatively quickly, Walker latching onto the fact that you were going to talk to Karli instead of focusing on the escaped fugitive in front of him.

You very nearly punched him when he ran in front of you after Sam told him the plan, making the four of you stop in your tracks, but Bucky’s arm tightened around your shoulders, holding you in place next to him.

“You’re gonna let him do this?” Walker questioned Bucky in disbelief, self righteous judgement practically dripping from your tone. “You’re gonna let your partner walk into a room with a super soldier alone?”

Bucky’s jaw ticked. “He’s dealt with worse. And he’s not my partner.”

“And you?” Walker narrowed his eyes towards you. “I expected more from you; the last original Avenger.”

You snorted, shaking your head. He obviously didn’t know how chaotic the Avengers were. What Sam was proposing? You’d seen it a million times with Steve alone. Not considering Nat, Clint, Thor, even Bruce and Tony. All of them willing to try to negotiate before running in, bullets raining and hell rising. “First, I’m not the last original. I’m technically not even an original. Second, I trust Sam with my life and I’m standing by his decision. He’s my brother. As a soldier, I would’ve thought you understood that.”

Before he could respond, Sam stepped around Bucky. You saw the reluctance in Walker’s eyes as he admitted a temporary defeat once Hoskins agreed with Sam. The fact that he was so unwilling to try to save more lives - including Karli’s - made the truth that he wasn’t, and would never, be your Captain harden deeper into your heart.

Ignoring Walker’s confusion as you followed the little girl Zemo befriended - which was weird, you’d admit, but it was getting you closer to Karli - Bucky’s arm slipped from your shoulders, hand sliding across your back and skimming down your arm to grip your hand. Even through your jacket, you felt goosebumps erupt along his fingers’ trail.

You finally came to your destination and you let out a small breath. If everything went smoothly, this mission could finally be over and you could go home and take a bath, get take out, get out a bottle of wine, watch TV, and just relax.

What a dream.

“Hey.” You stopped Sam before he could go through the entrance of where the girl said Karli was, holding his forearm. “You want me to come with you?”

He shook his head. “I think it’ll be better if I go alone.”

You nodded, letting go without any hesitance. “Okay. Be careful.”

“Always.” And despite all you’ve been through, no matter how many times he’s followed Steve’s lead in doing something stupid, you knew he meant it. You nodded again, before he disappeared around the corner.

You leaned back against the wall, Bucky once again wrapping an arm around your shoulder now that you weren’t walking - he liked having mobility on the move, hence the reason he held your hand instead - leaning besides you and pulling you against his chest.

Ten minutes. You tried looking at Bucky’s watch, which was on the wrist of the arm around you. He noticed and turned his wrist slightly, bending his elbow more, which brought you even closer to him, showing you the time.

Giving a small sigh, you nodded slightly and dropped your head back against his bicep, your hands shoving in your pockets, one of your feet coming up to rest against the wall. Bucky shifted to your other side so he could stand in front of the doors to where Karli and Sam were, pulling you against his back, arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly.

It was a long ten minutes. You kept eyeing Walker, and you couldn’t help the anger burning through you as he held the shield in his hands. That damn shield. It wasn’t his. It would never be his. And he would never understand it. The fact that the shield didn’t make Captain America. The shield isn’t what made Steve a good man. Not even the Serum did. He already was one. Steve made the shield what it was, not the other way around.

But then you remembered a conversation you had, years ago, and your eyes flitted up to Bucky’s hardened face, the brunette staring intensely at the ground.

~

You didn’t get it. You were confused. You knew how important Barnes - Bucky - was to Steve. But apparently you didn’t understand it quite yet.

You watched from the entrance of the hallway, leaning against the wall, as Bucky went under once more.

Steve stood there for a moment longer, before turning and walking towards you. “Why’d you do it?”

He raised an eyebrow at you while you turned to walk with him down the hall. “Do what?”

“Give up the shield. And don’t say it doesn’t belong to you. It does. Howard gave it to you. You’re the reason it’s…a symbol.”

He hummed. “And what exactly is it a symbol for, honey?”

You scoffed. “Uh, freedom? Justice? Resilience? The defense of the whole life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness thing?”

He stopped, facing you with a strange expression on his face, thoughtful. “I dropped it because I can’t be that anymore. Not right now. People don’t have the same beliefs they used to have. How can I stand up for freedom and let the Sokovia Accords track every person they deem a threat, just like HYDRA tried doing? How can I be a symbol for justice and let Bucky take the fall for something that he wasn’t in control of? I can’t. And until the world is ready to change…I can’t be Captain America.”

~

And suddenly, it seemed to click. Steve gave up the shield for Bucky because the world wasn’t ready to admit it was wrong. Just like Sam gave up the shield for himself and his family because the world wasn’t ready for the truth that would come with him becoming Captain America.

God…when did a metal circle become so complicated?

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty lil’ head’a yours?” His whisper in your ear startled you out of your thoughts, his nose brushing against your temple tenderly as he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek.

You looked up at him and shook your head. Of all the things Steve gave up, he never gave up Bucky. And it used to confuse you, but you understood then. His blue eyes sparkling with curiosity and slight concern, his fingers tracing patterns along your collarbone with a barely-there touch that was so light it didn’t seem to exist. You finally understood. Not just Steve’s decision, but Sam’s too. And maybe you didn’t understand it fully, and that was okay, because you weren’t them, so you never would, but you understood a little bit.

“Nothing.” You shook your head, keeping your voice down so the others couldn’t hear, the conversation being a private one, “I’m just waiting for this to be over.”

He hummed, nodding in agreement, setting his chin on your head. “Me too.”

Walker started pacing the room about half way through, getting too antsy for your liking. “Shhh.” Bucky mumbled under his breath, feeling you tense as Walker started talking. “It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”

“He knows what he’s doing.” Bucky stated confidently, straightening slightly from his leaning position, arms falling from your form. The two of you exchanged glances as Walker checked the clock over on the far wall, blocked from your view.

“I’m going in.” Walker strode across the room, heading for the entrance, no doubt willing to steam roll anything - anyone - in his way.

Bucky stopped him with a hand on his chest. You glanced back and forth between the two as Walker spoke, arms crossed tightly over your chest. “Buck…we promised him ten minutes.” You reminded him, seeing his resolve crumble a bit. You could guess he was thinking of the nightmares. The people he couldn’t save. The blood he already considered on his hands.

Walker used his moment of hesitation, shoving past him roughly. “I’m not waiting.”

“John!”

“Walker!”

You followed after him, you and Bucky arguing with him and Hoskins about giving Sam more time, but it was too late.

“Karli Morgenthau! You’re under arrest!”

“Fuck.” You hissed out when you saw Sam’s panicked expression, looking at you confused. Walker was flown across the room when Karli punched him, Bucky shoving Hoskins out of the way to run after her.

“Y/N-”

You threw your hands up. “I tried, Sam! C’mon!”

You and Sam ran over to some stairs, turning corners and trying to remember what the building looked like from outside to cut her off, but you only ran into Bucky again. 

“I wish we had the layout or something.” You grumbled. “We were that close-”

“We’re not done yet, doll.” Nodding, you followed the boys out, Bucky pausing every so often to try to hear anything. “I’ve got gunshots.” At that, the three of you took off towards the sound, Bucky leading the way.

Just around the corner from where Bucky heard the gunshots, you thought you saw a couple people slip around another bend. Noticing you had stopped, Bucky backtracked. “You okay?’

“Yeah.” Deciding it wasn’t worth the pursuit, you turned to him and nodded towards the doorway Sam already went through. He gave you a look, but nodded and the two of you jogged into the room.

You sighed heavily, seeing Zemo knocked out on the floor, Walker standing over him and broken vials that were previously full of, what you assumed was, the Serum. Hoskins ran in right after you, meaning no one but Walker and Zemo knew what happened. Meaning you would probably never get the full, true story.

What fun it is to work with manipulators and liars.

********************

“I don’t like him.” Bucky grumbled, the two of you walking up to the place you were staying in, Bucky holding the door open for you.

“I know you don’t, Buck. I don’t either.” You had asked Bucky to go with you to get some fresh air once you got back, Zemo having woken up a few minutes after and Walker and Hoskins had to make a call or something official like the good soldiers they were. “He’s hiding something.”

“You think?” Bucky scoffed, giving you a look.

You rolled your eyes. “I mean…I don’t know. When we found him and Zemo…my gut twisted.”

He nodded in understanding, his face twisting into a scowl. “Yeah. Mine did too.”

You stopped him before you could walk through the door to the main room. “Do me a favor?” He nodded again with a little hum. Catching his chin between your fingers, your free hand moved to smooth out the creases between his brow. “Stop brooding so much. It makes me worried.”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, features softening slightly. “Are you really gonna leave in the morning? I know you’ve had a lot of people telling you to take a break, and it’s selfish for me to ask you to stay, but…I dunno if I can finish this without you.”

“I-” You sighed, ducking your head as you thought of a response, before looking up in his wide eyes, begging for you to stick around longer. “Let’s just finish the day and see what happens next. Okay?”

He bit his lip, nodding slightly. You gave him a smile, before tugging on his hand. “I need a drink.”

He chuckled at that. “That I can fix, doll.” He, again, opened the door for you, and the two of you walked in.

“What a gentleman. Straight outta the 40’s.” You joked, making him roll his eyes.

He took off his jacket, heading to the kitchen, while you sat on the opposite side of the island. “Somethin’s not right about Walker.”

Sam gave you two an amused look. “You don’t say.”

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one.” He opened the lid of the bottle he grabbed, starting to pour two glasses of whiskey for the both of you. “Because I am crazy.”

You rolled your eyes as Sam responded, “can’t argue with that.”

“You shouldn’t have given him the shield.”

Giving Bucky a disapproving look over the rim of your glass, you sipped your drink, narrowing your eyes when he ignored you. “I didn’t give him the shield.”

“Well Steve definitely didn’t.”

Your glass slammed down on the counter. Why did he have to bring this up right now? Seriously? You were just having a nice conversation about places you wanted to visit while taking a walk outside. Why was he suddenly snapping?

Before you could scold him, the doors burst open, making your head whip over as Walker stormed in, “ordering” you to hand over Zemo.

You stayed sitting, leaning on the counter and facing the opposite wall as Sam told him off, giving an amused snicker as you sipped your drink. Bucky sat besides you, facing Walker, and you recognized from the angle he was positioning himself that he was blocking you from Walker’s view, whether intentional or not.

You raised an eyebrow, turning in interest when Walker put down the shield, knowing Sam wasn’t about to fight the man. What an ego the blonde had.

Before anything could happen, however, a spear pierced through the air, lodging in the pillar next to Walker’s head.

Your frustration with Bucky’s comment flew out of your head as Ayo and a few other Dora Milaje walked in. Bucky sat up straighter and you stood up, leaning ever so slightly against his arm.

You nearly facepalmed, a sound of complete disbelief leaving you as Walker introduced himself. Sam looked over at you two, an entertained, slightly incredulous smile on his face.

Sam tried warning him. He really did. But Walker, you’ve come to find, was an arrogant, egotistical narcissist who only wanted to win and would do whatever it takes to do so. Even when there wasn’t really a winner. At least, not in that situation. It seemed that Walker liked ignoring the gray area in the world, which wasn’t good. Not in the least.

Which is why you couldn’t really feel sorry for the man. You saw it coming as soon as he told them they didn’t have jurisdiction. And the moment he touched Ayo?

You put your chin on Bucky’s shoulder - who had stood up from his spot - watching the Dora Milaje kick Walker’s ass, wincing and cringing mockingly at the right moments, making Bucky smirk at you.

“We should do something.” Sam said, although he didn’t look thrilled about the prospect.

Bucky crossed his arms. “Looking strong, John!”

You gave a slight snort, not wanting to encourage anything, but unable to hold in your amusement. Bucky winked at you, clinking his cup of whiskey with your own, before taking a gulp.

“Bucky.” 

You huffed and stepped back at Sam’s tone. “C’mon, Buck.”

“Fine.” Bucky grunted. “But ‘M not happy about it.”

Soon, the three of you, plus Walker and Hoskins, were all occupied with a member of the Dora Milaje. You knew you couldn’t take them; they were on a higher level that Natasha, and you could barely beat her. But you weren’t necessarily trying to win.

It was a strange fight, knowing that no one - except Walker, probably - actually wanted to hurt anyone. Of course, that didn’t stop one of them from exploiting your injured shoulder that she spotted rather quickly. The hits were quick and precise, the tip of her spear cutting along the graze, hitting the spot just perfect enough to reopen it. The stitches that had been placed only a couple days ago ripped, making you wince and clutch your now bleeding shoulder.

“Oh fuck.” You groaned. “You were always good with those things.”

She gave you an almost apologetic look, before she looked over to Ayo, who stepped through the room towards the bathroom where Zemo had locked himself in during the chaos.

When you caught sight of the shoulder thing she did to Bucky, his metallic arm now laying on the floor, his eyes wide and his stance stunned, your jaw nearly dropped. You guessed it made sense that they had a way to do that, but, still. None of you were expecting it.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked once they started leaving, Bucky picking up his arm and connecting it to his shoulder.

“No.” The arm whirred as he swung it, getting it back to normal.

You couldn’t help the little giggle that left you, making Bucky raise an eyebrow at you. You tried holding in more laughs, but they just kept coming. “She-she...she disarmed you!”

Bucky rolled his eyes as you chortled, holding your stomach and bending over. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

“Oh come on!” You straightened and wiped your eyes. “That was good! Wasn’t it, Sammy?”

Sammy chuckled and nodded. “I’ll admit, it was pretty good. This, however, is not.”

Your laughter died as Sam made his way over to the bathroom, the light air that came with your cackles dissipating as quickly as it came.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.”

You stared at the drain that was uncovered - large enough for Zemo to slip inside and escape. He did it. The son of a bitch finally did it. It took him long enough. You would’ve betted against him days ago.

“I can.” Bucky turned and grabbed your hand. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

*********************

“I thought you told them.”

Bucky looked up from wrapping your shoulder, an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“I thought you told them. The Dora Milaje. Wakanda. T’Challa. I thought you told them about Zemo.”

He leaned back with a sigh. “It was kinda a last minute decision. You know that. You were there.”

You nodded. “I do. But I also know what they’ve done for you. Shuri and Ayo. I was there for that, too. And you know what he did to them. To their country. Their king.”

“I know, I know. I almost died several times because of it.”

Your eyebrows pinched in confusion. “So why-”

“I thought it’d be quick. I thought, maybe, I could do it without them finding out and then we could get to Karli and they wouldn’t be disappointed. Win win.”

Your cheek caught between your teeth as you thought. “You could’ve just asked-”

He shook his head. “They would’ve said no. You know that.”

“Okay. Fine. Yes. I know that. But…but giving them a warning would’ve been better than this.” He hung his head, closing his eyes. “Bucky. Hey,” hooking a finger under his chin, you tilted his head back up to look at you. “I know it’s been hard for you. Everything has. And I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I shouldn’t have let you come along. You should be healing, and it’s my fault you’re not.” He opened his mouth, face scrunching up in disagreement, but you shook your head. “It’s true. I just…I didn’t know it would come this far.” You gnawed on your bottom lip studying those captivating eyes, before sighing. “Which is why I’m not leaving.”

He perked up, those pretty eyes going wide, jaw slackening. “You-you’re not?!”

You shook your head. As much as you wanted to run away, you couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. “It wouldn’t be fair to you or Sam. I promised to help, and I brought you into it. So I’m gonna stay.

“Are you, uh…are you sure? You don’t hafta if you don’t wanna, doll. I know I kinda pushed you earlier, but-”

“I’m sure Buck.” You nodded firmly. “Just…do something for me?”

“I dunno if I can promise not brooding, sweetheart.”

You giggled at his words. “Not that. Just…stop giving Sam a hard time. About the shield. Please.”

His soft features hardened and he scowled. “If he didn’t give it up-”

“He thought it was going to the museum. I told you about that, remember? I told you we’d go when I got back.”

Giving a slight nod, he sighed. “We never did.”

“We will. But, I’m serious, Buck. Please. It’s not his fault. He did exactly what Steve did.” At Bucky’s confused look, you pursed your lips, looking down at his hands, starting to play with his fingers. “Remember how I was thinking during those ten minutes we had?” He nodded. “I was thinking about how Steve gave the shield back to Tony. After saving you. In Siberia. You remember that?” Another nod was given, so you continued. “It was for you, James. Because you made him realize that he didn’t want to be the face of a country that preached one thing, but did another. And that’s what Sam did. He did it for his family. For himself. Because no one wants to fight for a country that goes against your personal beliefs, no matter what they say.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Bucky’s eyes squinted, his brow creasing as he tried processing what you were telling him.

“That’s okay. Not everyone will. Really only they can understand their own reasoning. But you have to try to understand that he did what he thought was best for himself. For Steve. For the shield. And I know - dammit do I know - that it’s the last thing left of him. But it is just metal. Isn’t it? Steve’s the reason it is what it is. No one else. And no one is going to change that.”

Bucky took a breath, glossy, worried eyes meeting yours. “Walker’s going to ruin it. I know he is. I can feel it. Everything Steve worked for. I don’t care about Captain America. I care about the kid from Brooklyn who wanted to make a difference, no matter how little he was. I trusted him. I followed him through bullets and blood, with only that shield between us and them. He was home on a battlefield in Italy across the ocean from New York. And that shield was the welcome mat. It doesn’t matter what it says, what it looks like…but it protected my home when I couldn’t. But now? I feel like it’s tearing my home down. Pulling out the bricks. And it hurts. It was never about the shield, Y/N. It was always about the man it protected when I couldn’t be there for him. And now?”

Gathering him in your arms as he trailed off, you gave a couple little sniffles, pressing your face in his hair, nails scratching the nape of his neck lightly. “I’ll be your welcome mat, Buckaroo.” You offered.

He shook his head, pulling away to hold your face between his hands. “No, sweetheart. You’re not the welcome mat. You’re the new bricks replacing the old. You’re…you’re my home, now, doll.”

You swallowed thickly, unable to handle the rush of emotions that just poured through you, the sudden change in topic making you feel more vulnerable than you’d like. You leaned forwards, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, feeling him go lax in your arms. “And you’re mine.” You murmured softly, before getting up and heading out for the room, unable to stay any longer. You still had a mission to do. One that became even more desperate with Zemo loose, Walker unhinged, and Karli being so close.

******************

There was a silent agreement to not bring up your conversation. Not yet, at least. Sam had eyed you both when you came out of the room, saying you were ready to get moving, but he didn’t say anything either.

None of you really knew where you were going, only what you had to do. Find Zemo and get to Karli before Walker could. Both of which were a lot easier said than done.

Until Sam got a call from Sarah, who told him Karli contacted her personally and threatened her and her sons. She left a contact number for Sam, evidently wanting to meet. His phone dinged not a minute after he texted the number.

“She said come alone.”

“Well that’s not happening.” You opposed, crossing your arms.

Bucky nodded with your sentence. “We’re coming with you.”

Sam didn’t say anything against it, the three of you exchanging glances, before heading out to the location, changing into your tactical suits along the way.

Karli didn’t seem to mind you and Bucky tagging along, and you understood why the moment she mentioned not killing Sam because he wasn’t hiding behind a shield. It was a distraction. They were going after Walker.

It was confirmed only moments later when Sharon contacted Sam. “Looks like he found them, or maybe they found him.”

As soon as Sam announced that it was Walker, you jumped into action, Sam disabling Karli for just the right amount of time for you to get a head start. “I’ll send you the location. Go.” He told Bucky, who nodded and took off in his super soldier sprint. “You hitching a ride?”

You rolled your eyes at his slight tease. “I hate this so much.” You grumbled, catching his hand as he took off in the air with his bird costume. He held onto you tightly, like the millions of times you’d done this before, although it didn’t make you any less dizzy, traveling that fast, that high, with only his hold keeping you from dropping. “You’re lucky I trust you so much!”

He gave a small chuckle at your shout over the wind. “We’re landing! Brace yourself!” You followed his order, just in time for him to break through the glass ceiling of the building Walker was in. The both of you landed on a platform on the staircase just as a Flag Smasher was thrown through double glass doors, down the stairs, and into a power box. Your eyes went wide as Walker strolled down the steps, oozing a confidence that made you nervous. The moment Walker stopped the Flag Smasher - the Super Soldier - from hitting him with the pipe, you knew even before he twisted it like a pretzel.

“Sam.” You breathed out. You couldn’t even do anything, only watching as the Flag Smasher got up from being thrown again, and running down a hall.

“What’d you do?”

“They got Lemar.” Was the only reply he gave, brushing past you and Sam. You gave Sam a look, but he just jerked his head down the hall, in the direction the Flag Smasher went and the way Walker started heading. You nodded, willing to drop it for now to save someone’s life, but you were so bringing it up once this was done.

Jogging into the room, you should’ve expected the ambush in the room, but, to be honest, they didn’t take as much advantage as they could’ve, so it wasn’t too difficult of a fight. You had trained with Steve millions of times before, so you knew how to go against a Super Soldier. Granted, your Cap wasn’t trying to kill you while training, but it was better than nothing.

You protected your shoulder, knowing that was your weak point, while trying to disguise it so whoever you were fighting wouldn’t realize your Achilles’ Heel. Something you often found while dealing with Steve, and even Bucky, was that Super Soldiers, as quick as they were, tended to favor the super strength side of their enhancements. This made it easier for you to dodge the attacks, knowing most of your blows wouldn’t do much.

Knowing you wouldn’t be able to stay on the defensive for long, you decided to try to get an advantage over them. Disarming them and taking their knife was easy enough. A small advantage, yeah, but now you had a weapon, and you could work with that.

You weren’t exactly sure when Bucky joined the fight, but he did, immediately coming over to you when you body kicked your opponent, helping you up. “That was a Steve move.” Your eyes caught sight of the Flag Smasher behind him and you shoved his shoulder down, throwing your knife, making it land solidly in the man’s shoulder. Bucky looked up at you from his crouch, impressed. “And that was a me move.”

You shrugged. “I’m a visual learner.”

You, Sam, and Bucky were about to go for another round with the guys when a sickening crack sounded behind you, and you whipped around. 

Hoskins was against a split pillar, a crimson streak running down his forehead, head lolling to the side, lips red and cracked. The fight stopped as Walker rushed over to his friend, but you knew there was no way he survived. A punch from a Super Soldier? That hard?

Eyeing the Flag Smashers, you turned to Sam and Bucky when they started dispersing, Karli running out as well. They nodded towards you and the three of you took off after her, not wanting to let her get away again and, for you, at least, wanting to give Walker some time.

You weren’t expecting his grief to turn into such raw hatred. 

Running up to the city square, you didn’t actually see it happen. Just the aftermath. Which was good, considering you nearly threw up just seeing that.

You heard the change in Bucky’s breathing, barely recognizing the way he stepped in front of you, only realizing you stepped closer when you felt his sleeve against your palms, fingers tightly wrapped around his forearm. A choked sound came from somewhere, but you didn’t know it was you, even as Bucky reached his arm around to hold your waist, keeping you behind his shoulder. 

Tears leaked down your face silently, eyes unable to look away as Walker straightened, sliding the shield on his arm, too nonchalantly for someone who just murdered another in front of a crowd full of people, cameras pointed towards him.

The shield. That piece of metal you had been wondering so deeply about the past couple of weeks. The link to the first person you’d ever loved. Ruined. Tarnished. Stained.

You could barely breathe, your throat clenching so tightly it was a wonder you were able to get anything out at all.

“James…”

#cjsinkythoughts #cjswriting #cjsspoilers #fatws spoilers #tfatws spoilers #falcon and the winter soldier spoilers #fatws #tfatws #falcon and the winter soldier #fatws series #fatws pt 5.2 #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x avenger!reader #bucky x avenger!reader #bucky barnes #❤🐦💙🦾 #💙🦾

[kass-storycorner]

Mentally I’m getting worse again (tho I try to do all the stuff I learned from two years in therapy to … prevent it from getting bad bad ), so I’ve only been thinking about how some of the Genshin characters would comfort me? So here have this, whatever this is, that I wrote at 2am on a night before I have 11am shift at work. Using you in all of this but honestly this is 100% self indulgent. I just want someone to cuddle with. Pretty sure most of this isn’t really in character and every point is vastly different from the others but hey, it is what it is. As long as I’m in my current mindset my stuff won’t be any better than this

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst I guess idk man, comfort i hope

Content warnings: depression (?) I don’t go too much into detail, don’t want to write out those negative thoughts HA but you know you are just not in a good spot in these, absolutely inconsistent writing, every character has to deal with a different stage of feeling depressed and yeah

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Albedo, Yoimiya

Fun fact: my app crashed while writing this so thank the tumblr admins that you can restore posts you wrote after the app crashes one of the few good features of the app

Diluc:

Would definitely notice the first small changes in your behaviour, but wouldn’t think much of it in the beginning.

Maybe you are just tired? And even if not Diluc knows best that no one can always be chipper.

Still he doesn’t know how to act around you when you are sad / heading towards a depressive episode.

He would offer you his help, you just need to say what you need and he’ll give it to you.

Ah, but Diluc didn’t really consider at first that you would be too afraid to ask, even when he offered it to you.

One day he will directly ask you in the privates of your home if you are okay. At first you would try to brush it off, not wanting to be a burden on Diluc. You know how much he’s been through and that he also has his emotional scars… would be a bit selfish to dump it all onto him, wouldn’t it?

But oh, you’ve been dying to talk with someone about your feelings, craving a warm hug and words of comfort… so when Diluc doesn’t drop the topic you just let it all out.

He will take you in his arms and hug you, cuddle you, as long as you want. He’ll stroke your hair, quietly listening to your words, only small “mmmhs” and “it’s okay” leaving him, to reassure you that it’s fine for sharing it all.

When none of you talks all you can hear is his steady breath and oh, it’s so soothing.

Maybe you end up crying, while sharing all of it with him. All he does is to pull you closer into his chest, saying that it’s okay and tell you to let it all out.

Diluc hides his softer side from the people of Mondstadt, always hiding behind the more grumpy image some of him have, but he knows that it’s not good to run away from your own feelings. What you need to do is to feel them, do not try to push them aside because you are uncomfortable with them.

Generally he would be soft, kind and understanding. At first he might give you too much room, afraid he might be overstepping a boundary when he keeps pushing you in the beginning. Ends up in you isolating yourself / pulling away more, but once Diluc sees the pattern he will be more attentive to your needs and learn to differentiate between you needing space and you isolating.

Though please communicate with him better, he’s busy and if him having less time for you causes you distress you need to tell him, he might only notice it after the feelings festered.

Childe:

Oh boy - he hasn’t seen you in a while, Fatui duties you know, so when he knocks on your door one day he notices immediately that you are not in a good place.

This man - he cooks, he cleans, we all joke about him being the perfect husband but seriously. He sees the state of you, the state of your apartment and immediately helps.

Having spend the last week or two in a depressive state caused you to neglect your housework - the dirty dishes are everywhere and laundry keeps piling up. Not to talk about how you look.

Childe will make you a bath and while you’re in it he cleans. An immense help!!! Taking away a good chunk of thinks that made you feel just so overwhelmed and helpless.

The whole time he wouldn’t breach the topic of why it has come to that point, but now after you finished the bath and the apartment looks liveable again he asks you what’s wrong.

Honestly you don’t know yourself, you’ve been just lacking more and more energy to do the basic tasks and suddenly everything was a mess.

Will wipe away your tears and tell you “don’t cry, I’m here”, taking you in a hug.

When he’s around more, will he notice it when it slowly gets worse? Mmh, yeah!! He definitely notice when you are feeling more down, seeing how your interactions change and how your laughs become more forced.

In the beginning he will just try to make you feel all the “positive” feelings, not wanting you to feel any “negative” emotions at all

this man definitely represses his own trauma a lot and has a horrible way of coping with it so I doubt he would be the most emotionally intellectual person to help you through it

Though when you show that you don’t feel like showing your sadness aside and you just want someone to share it with / need some comfort he will adjust to your needs

Albedo:

Boy as impeccable observation skills, he will notice immediately when something is off.

However - he somehow struggles to understand your feelings. Like. At all.

When he asks you what’s wrong and you tell him that there is not a reason for your feelings, you just feel a bit depressed that’s all, he will not get it.

How do you feel a certain emotions without something causing it? There must be a reason for it.

And honestly he’s right there is always a reason for a certain feeling to arise, but sometimes they aren’t easy to understand for yourself or to spot, sometimes it’s just that your inner child needs a hug and it takes you three weeks and a metal breakdown to understand that this is all you needed… plus a good cry

He’s gonna be so awkward at trying to comfort you, making you feel better, at first. Trying everything out to cheer you up, he really doesn’t want you to feel bad. Asks around for advice what helps others when they are sad.

Honestly? The things he does, the small presents he gifts you - they are nice and make you feel loved, but it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away. Even worse it somehow builts up this immense pressure for you to get better quick because look! Albedo does nice things, he tries to help. He tries to figure it out. Why can’t you give him the results he hopes to get???

Only when someone (Timadeus for sure) finally tells Albedo that it’s not a special dish or flower or even place that helps with sad feelings - it’s that they remind them of something that’s comforting. Klee told him Dodoco helps when she’s sad, because Dodoco reminds her how much her mum loves her. So when people told him about certain foods or flowers - it was more because those were valuable for those individuals, doesn’t mean it has value to you. Most importantly is that he’s just there for you.

With that new bits of information he will try to adjust to your needs more, to learn what you need and to understand it.

He will be so upfront about it too, coming into your room and telling you that he’s been trying to make you feel better the past couple of weeks and noticing how your mood has not improved at all. Finally asks you what you need opposed to him only having asked why you feel that way

Will definitely make you cry with how he approaches the topic. When he apologises for making you cry you cry even harder at how soft he says it.

Albedo will remember what he was told, that it’s important to just be there for someone, so he will stay at your side, his hand on your back rubbing it while you are just sobbing.

After the tears have calmed down you can just be honest with him, tell him that you sometimes don’t know yourself what will make it better, that sometimes you just have to life with the feelings and accept them - but that his attempts really didn’t help.

He will apologise for putting more pressure on you, asking if you need a hug (something a lot of people have told him helps them but he was just to shy to actually try it out). After saying yes you both stay for a long time in the hug, the first thing in a long time to make you feel better.

Yoimiya:

My love, the light of my life, my future main - she would be SO good at helping you through an episode.

Notices the way you act towards her changes and immediately confronts you about it, afraid that something in the relationship is amiss until you tell her the truth that you are a bit depressed.

Canonically the one with the best communication skills, if you were to put her, Diluc and Kaeya in a room I’m 1000% sure those two would leave it as brothers again.

That said she can sometimes be a bit too overwhelming - she can talk a lot, but she’s a good listener too, but in her attempt to fix the issue she goes a bit overboard.

She’ll want you to talk it all out which isn’t a bad thing per se, but sometimes you just don’t feel like talking or that talking would help.

However the way Yoimiya is it will make you communicate with her more about how you feel and what you need - she kinda just seems to be more approachable and the kind of person you can pour my heart out to after meeting her on the toilets of a bar.

Will cuddle you as long as you need.

And honestly? 100% sure she would even make you a firework to cheer you up that you both watch from her favourite spot on a blanket while doing so (the cuddling!)

or you know maybe it’s just what I would really want to do with her when I’m depressed aka RIGHT NOW MAN

#friendly reminder I have diagnosed depression and while I experience it one way #you don’t have to have the same experiences as I do #even my symptoms change over time a lot especially eating and sleep habits #also I think all the characters are at least in a relationship with the gn!reader #some maybe earlier than others idk it’s late and I’m tired hahah #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #genshin angst #genshin fluff #genshin comfort #Diluc #albedo #yoimiya #Childe #diluc x reader #albedo x reader #childe x reader #yoimiya x reader #depression #depressed lol

[kittydeany77]

Alright here we go again! Chapter 8 is here! So heres the deal and its a SLIGHT spoiler. This is going to have a OPTIONAL chapter 9 following this chapter. If you DO NOT want to read chapter 9, please skip to chapter 10. The reason is (smut) and i mean hardcore. That way if tumblr has a melt down and trues to delete it, we dont lose the whole story. Also i have an AO3 so you can find the story there. You dont need an account to read it there but having an account lets you leave Kudos and comments and subscribe FOR free to my work. Thanks everyone, please enjoy!

Authors note: please ignore the giant spaces in between some paragraphs. I cant fix it for some reason UGH

Alone Again

Chapter 8

Dean Winchester x Y/N

…

Dean was looking out the window and thoughtfully rubbing his hand along with jaw. His demeanor was changing, you noticed a more permanent furrowed brow and frown on his face now. You reached a hand over onto his thigh and rubbed your thumb back and forth. All you needed was for him to remember you were there together and bring him out of his thoughts. It must have worked because Dean looked over and pulled you in against him. This gave you a chance to snuggle in against him and watch out the window at the passing scenery. His arm was around you as you rested your back against his side and you held onto him. You didn’t know when you fell asleep but you wish it didnt happen. The nightmares still hadn’t gone away from before and now they had more fuel. They were getting worse and the thought of sleeping made you anxious. Dean woke you up when your arms started to thrash around and you started yelling at something you saw in the nightmare.

“Y/N, hey, you gotta wake up sweetheart. It’s just a dream, come on now.” Dean lightly shook you, in fear he could make things worse by waking you up. You shot up when you woke and couldn’t catch your breathe. Everyone in the car turned to look at you and Rick must have been eyeing you in the rearview mirror for a while. Suddenly you felt embarrassed and just wanted to sink into a hole and cover up with a blanket, to get away from all the watching eyes.

“Sorry…” the tension in the air was too much for you and you faced the back of your seat now. Who cares about seatbelts in an apocalypse right? There was no way you could fall asleep again. It’s becoming too scary, too painful and you hate feeling out of control. Dean was watching you carefully but with all the concern in the world. You had no idea how he could carry so much emotion in those big green eyes of his.

“I dont want to talk about it.”

“And you dont have to, ever. Just know that when you’re ready to talk I’m here for you. Any time or place because I will never be away from you again. We are a package deal now right?” He knew how to make you feel better and listening to his gravelly voice helped. Why was everything about him so damn comforting? You leaned against his shoulder and took a deep breath. “We can do this, you know. We will survive and find a safe place. I know it.”

“Yes we will. And we will kill all those sons of bitches on the way. Whoever came up with releasing zombies can go to hell. I would drag them there myself.”

You giggled as you turned to face the front now. Carl fell asleep in the seat ahead of you and Lori was quietly sitting next to him. T-Dog was up front with Rick and helping him keep an eye out for a place to stop.

“I wish i had a book… long driving hours make me sleepy and i dont want to sleep.”

“We should find one for you and then when you finish it, switch it out for a new one if we’re still on the run. Always keep a book on us no matter what. Sound like a deal?” This man was going to be the death of you. He was so kind and thoughtful in every sense.

Rick eventually found a place to rest for the night. It was in this crumbled concrete building. It really couldn’t pass as a building though. Just a couple walls of concrete and the other two walls were partial to the point of no repair in the before world. ‘Before world’ is how you wanted to refer to life before the apocalypse of the dead walking the earth. Was it the whole world at this point? Hopefully there was somewhere safe to live one day. And not worry about the dangers. Why can't you just sleep in the cars tonight? Sure it would be cramped and uncomfortable but at least you'd have shelter, kind of.

Everyone was on edge tonight. There was a small crackling fire in the middle and everyone spaced out. We had all just been witness to Rick having a spat with Lori and now the tension hung over the group like a wet blanket. He killed Shane… you were thankful. You didnt even feel bad for anyone who knew Shane before. He deserved what happened to him because he was a monster. You normally wouldnt wish harm, let alone death, upon anyone, but Shane was different. He reminded you too much of your past. Lori and Carl were mourning Shane and it disgusted you, except you did feel bad for Carl. He was just a kid who didn’t understand the politics of being an adult. Then there’s Rick who now stands with that fact of killing his best friend in self defense, but now is losing his wife when it comes to connection and relationship. If it was the before world, these two would’ve seperated by now. We all knew the baby was Shanes and not Ricks. When Lori confirmed the pregnancy, you couldn’t believe it. Who would do that with Shane unless it was non consensual? Lori was such a nice woman you thought and now shes turning. You even heard Carol whispering to Daryl about not trusting Rick. Daryl stood his ground though and made his choice, he followed Rick and trusted him.

“Dean? What do you think about all this?” He hadn’t been saying much while you both sat there. You told him to help T-Dog and Rick keep watch but he refused. Dean was sitting against the wall with his arms resting on top of his knees. The stars were out tonight and he’d been staring up at them this whole time. Finally he took a deeo breath, “Ricks a good man. We should follow him, he does the hard stuff no one else wants to. I respect that about him. Do you trust him?”

“I trust you. But yes, i trust him too.” You leaned over onto his shoulder and looked up at the stars with him. The slightest noise in the woods that surrounded you put everyone on edge. Some wanted to leave and didn’t feel safe. Rick told them no ones leaving, that it wasnt a democracy anymore. The poor man just needed a break and he was trying hard. This wasnt the time to break apart as a group. Dale was right in that the group was broken and when Rick mentioned it, you hoped they would think about it overnight and after some sleep. Maybe this is what the group needed to stay safe. After that kid was brought to the group back at the farm, it tore us apart trying to decide on killing him or not. Now you wanted nothing to do with strangers. Nothing to do with anything that could tear apart the group.

A few weeks had passed and it was getting colder out. Luckily you had found a house to stay in after a couple nights in the car. You had to wonder though, how long would it last? Dean grew quieter every day but he never strayed far from you. You were certain he had a permanent crease between his brows now, and his facial hair was starting to grow in. He was clean shaven when you met and the prickles from stubble admittedly turned you on a little. A little rash when making out wouldnt be the worst thing right now, especially if it kept you occupied and distracted.

Distraction.

It could kill you if not careful enough. Thoughts of intimacy just werent allowed in a world like this anymore. Well maybe the thoughts could be…

“Y/N, do you want to play cards?” Carl walked over to your makeshift bed in the main room of the house, and he was holding a pack of playing cards. The thoughts of Deans stubble would have to wait.

“Sure, do you know how to play War?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright you shuffle and deal.” Carl shuffles the cards and starts dealing. Little did you know that Dean was watching you from across the room. He had perched himself by the window and was cleaning his gun all afternoon. This morning he refused to go hunt with Daryl simply because he would have to be away from you. This bothered you a little honestly, because you did want some space apart. You knew it was healthy and there had to be that type of trust built up again. Later tonight you may have to go through with this uncomfortable discussion with Dean.

“Y/N? You okay?” Carl was looking at you with his dad’s sheriff hat on. He was waiting for you to start the game with him. “Absolutely, but i bet you’ll win.”

Everyone was settling in for the night and you convinced Rick to let you climb out on the roof with Dean for a private discussion. There was access through a second story bedroom window and on the opposite side of the house from the others. Sometimes Dean can get a little heated and protective and the others didn’t need to hear it tonight.

“Dean, come on, follow me.” You ushered him upstairs and he eyed you cautiously.

“What are we doing? The groups gonna get ideas y’know.”

“Come on, I know a little spot just for us.” The bedroom they walked through was untouched since the beginning of the end. Books on their shelves, bed neatly made, clock on the wall no longer ticking, and no messes anywhere.

“Y/N seriously, what are we doing up here?” He was standing by the window looking at you already outside on the roof. He licked his lips and stuffed his hands into his pockets. You did the most cliche thing and just held your hand out for him. Dean rolled his eyes playfully but still went along with it. His hand was in yours and you pulled him up through the window. The sky was lit up by stars and some faint clouds. Trees were rustling from a soft breeze and crickets chirping gave a nice background. The two of you sat there in silence a few minutes before either of you spoke up.

“So, you gonna tell me why we’re up here? I know its not just to get in my pants Y/N. Something is wrong and i want you to tell me, please.” At least he still tried to lighten the mood and the man you fell for wasn’t completely gone.

“Why wouldn’t you go hunting with Daryl this morning?” You didnt look at him when you asked, just kept staring up at the sky. Whatever emotion he had on his face you would’ve missed and you weren’t sure that was a good or bad thing.

“I made a promise Y/N and you know that. There’s nothing that will take me away from you.”

“Okay but we need food and what if Daryl had gotten into trouble and you could’ve helped him? I was safe in this house and you could’ve left for a couple hours. The others can protect me and honestly i can protect my goddamn self.”

“Seriously youre blaming me? Youd rather i go out and protect others than you? Where is this even coming from?” He started to get a little defensive towards you but you also knew it came from a place of love.

“I need space Dean. And i think it would be good for you to get out. When we officially met at the farm you were out hunting by yourself. Come on, you know it’s peaceful for you and you need something to take your mind off everything. Did you even pay attention to the room we just walked through? It has books. I can come up here and close the door to read. You said i would always have a book and i do. You’re doing what you promised Dean, and I’m not going anywhere.” Your voice was starting to tremble from fear. Why? It’s not unlike you to talk to Dean and you knew you weren’t going to lose him just by sitting up here. Standing up to a man though, that was unlike you. In the past… you would’ve been beaten for standing up like this. Even just simply speaking your mind or raising an eyebrow would get you smacked.

Then there was Dean. He just sat there and didnt lay a hand on you, even though his voice raised and he was breathing heavily which avowed his frustration. The anticipation of waiting for him to answer was starting to feel heavy and you wanted to curl into a ball. He finally slammed a fist down on the roof and released a huge breath he’d been holding. The sound surprised you and made you jump a bit, and your heart started racing. You reminded yourself it was just you and Dean here, no one else and you weren’t being hurt.

“I'm sorry sweetheart… I know you mean well, but damnit i just want you safe and I can’t know that unless I’m with you.”

“Dean, i know, but i can protect myself. You have been working with me on hand to hand combat and self defense. We both know i can shoot my gun now. Please… just try to take a step back tomorrow and trust that i can be safe with you away from me. Im not asking for much, just stepping back enough to protect the whole group. We need food right now and if hunting during the early mornings with Daryl can help feed us, then i need you to do that.” The space between you was getting smaller as you inched towards him. Dean looked at you with tears in his eyes and a trembling lip that he nervously kept licking.

“I cant bear the thought of losing you Y/N.”

“You won’t, I’m here for the long haul, besides who would talk rock music with me? And classic cars? Who’s going to play I Spy with me out there?” Slowly you held your hand out to rest on his cheek, and he nuzzled into it. Your thumb rubbed along his cheek and he turned enough to kiss your palm.

“Come here sweetheart.” Dean reached out for you and your crawled up against him, into his warm embrace. Dean kissed the top of your head and rubbed up and down your back. “I will try, i promise. Daryl and i will go out tomorrow. You’re right about the food, we cant go hungry because i selfishly want to protect you. Do you even realize how stubborn you are girl?” A chuckle rumbled from deep within him and you smiled at that. His love surrounded you right then and you couldn’t help but look up at his face. Dean looked down at you, tears no longer present, and leaned in for a deep kiss. His lips were soft on yours and it made a warmth pool within you. You moaned against his lips and then released to get a breath. Just mere millimeters away though, because you didnt want to stop this moment. Your mouth quickly went back to his and both your lips moved with one another as you reached up to hold onto his neck. The hair on your neck stood up at the excitement of making out like a teenager and suddenly it was just the two of you in the world. No one could interrupt you up here. His tongue lightly met your lips, as if asking permission to enter, and you smiled into the kiss. One tongue met the other and the temperature in the air felt as if it rose ten degrees. Dean pulled away eventually and neither of you said anything for a minute while catching your breath. When the chill of the air started to settle in you spoke up, “it’s starting to get cold, want to head in?”

“If I could promise not to advance on you tonight, we could sleep in that unused bed right there.” He nodded towards the bed in the room you sat outside of. A sly grin crept onto your face. “What if I asked you not to keep that promise?” That warmth in you still hadnt left and the ache between your legs was enough to form your thoughts into actual speaking words. You heard Dean loudly gulp and his voice cracked a little. “Oh fuck me.”

“I plan on it.” You got up and ran to the bed as quietly as possible. Trying not to forget the others were downstairs, even if the house was huge and this bedroom was on the backside of the house. Most everyone slept in the living room which was located at the front of the house, but it was so quiet you didn’t want anyone to hear you. Only morning would tell if anyone heard, let alone suspect anything, which they would.

#twd #supernatural #fandom #smut #help #cute #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester slowburn #dean winchester smut #dean x y/n #dean x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester #deanwinchtser #dean x you #dean winchester x reader #multifandom #crossover

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 1

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt/Background: After turning yourself in to the government following the events of CA:TWS, they lock you up for the crimes you committed during your time at Hydra. Spending years there until Captain America got you on parole during the blip to help fight Thanos. Now, after doing community service acts and helping the broken society, when they give the new Captain America the shield, you’re thrown back into a life you didn’t want.

Word Count: 1871 (ahaha, yea)

Reader: Female

Warning: parole officers might be triggering??? idk

Author’s Note: I’ve decided to end my 141 part Wattpad Sebastian Stan imagine book and post on Tumblr instead :’), a happy day. Also, I’M SORRY THAT I LIKE SLOW BURN SERIES OK? Schedule for this series is every Thursday. ALSO IF YOU HAVE TITLE IDEAS FOR THIS SERIES, LMK! PLEASE

Masterlist

Part 2  Part 3  Part 4

=====

The sound of your heels echoed throughout the dimly lit room as you make your way through the exhibit. The walls take you back in time, reading how Captain America came to be and all his past accomplishments. They even updated from the last time you were here, documenting the events on the Blip.

You didn’t even know where you were going, absently letting your emotions and feet lead to where it felt you needed to be.

“For a former spy, you’re not really good at sneaking up on someone.” Rhodes’ voice greets you once you open up the curtain to a different area. A small smile sneaks its way across your face seeing the two men in front of you.

“Bit out of practice.” You spit back, walking towards them. “It’s nice to see you again, Rhodie.” You open your arms out to him and he gladly takes the hug. “Hopefully life’s been treatin’ you well.”

“For the most part,” He chuckles out while pulling away from the embrace. You move on to the other man, him happily wrapping his arms around your waist as you wrap yours around his shoulders.

Sam lets out a breath into the crook of your neck before pulling back. “You doing okay?” You ask, looking at his face for any sign of emotion. He nods but there was something in his eye that told otherwise.

You open your mouth to push him for the real answer but Rhodes cuts you off, “Well, I have to get going. It was good seeing you, (Y/L/N), hopefully, we work together soon. Remember what I said, Sam.” With that, he leaves the room to leave you and Sam alone.

The room fills with silence as the two of you turn to the iconic suit and shield in front of you. You try to watch Sam from the corner of your eye but he just stands with his back straight and his eyes forward.

“You know, I’m sure Steve would understand.” You decide to say, clasping your hands in front of you. “I didn’t become as close as you did, but from my time with him during the Blip, he tried his best to help everyone. He had a lot of responsibilities and issues of his own along with having a whole country looking up to him... 

“It was a lot… he opened to me about it one night before… you know.” You admit which makes him finally look at you. “He told me what he was going to do and all I could do is support him… I asked him what he was going to do with the mantle and he said give it to you.” Turning your head, you make eye contact with him. “I asked him if he was sure.”

He lets out a snort at that, shaking his head at you. “Really gotta do me like that?” He wipes his hand across his face then stuffs his hand in his pockets as he turns to face you. “I thought we were having a nice bonding moment and then you had to drop me like that?”

You can’t help the giggle that escapes your lips at his whining. “I’m being serious, Sam, stop.” You hit him on the shoulder. “He said there was no doubt in his mind that you do what needed to be done with the shield. He trusted you and your judgment, Falcon.” You emphasize his hero name which he just rolls his eyes at you.

“Yea, I’m sure he did.” He smiles and then changes the subject, “How’s parole treatin’ ya, still got the collar on?” He gestures to your ankle causing you to lift your dress pant leg, flashing the electric bracelet around your ankle. He lets out a hearty chuckle at it. “Still can’t believe that they have you on a leash.”

“Price you gotta pay for freedom.” You shrug and drop the cloth. There’s a beat of silence between the two of you, both of you taking a glance back at the exhibit and the shield.

“Have you talked with Bucky recently?”

“No, I was going to ask you.” Your heart sinks at the realization. “We’ve been texting a bit but I haven’t seen him since I spent the weekend with him a couple of weeks ago.” You shyly admit and look down at your feet.

“Weekend, huh?”

“Shut it, Sam.” You knock your foot against his. “We didn’t do anything, he doesn’t like me like that. Plus, he wouldn’t even let me spend the night. I had to go to a hotel, he sleeps on the floor, Sam! I’m worried about him.” It took weeks for you to convince him to let you come over and you finally knew why when you step into his apartment. It made your heart sink, it looked like if a Hydra cell got a remodel. “He has two chairs and a tv.”

“Living modestly I see.” He snorts out, covering up whatever he was actually thinking. It’s now your turn to roll your eyes at him, frustrated that he isn’t willing to talk about this. “Hey, he’s still figuring stuff out, okay? He just got all his memories back and he’s still working on living with his past. You should know better than I do to give him time.” His tone is soft as he lightly scolds you. You hang your head at his words, knowing he’s right.

It took some time for you to come to terms with your past when you turned yourself in after Hydra and SHIELD fell. You took accountability for your actions during your years at Hydra and spent a few years in jail before Steve took action to help you get on parole. That didn’t mean you weren’t fully recovered.

“When are you joining me on the field, anyway?” Sam changes the topic noticing how you went silent and your eyes looked past him. “I could use you on some of my recon missions.” 

A large smile forms on your face at the mention of your parole. “A couple more check-ins and I’m good, I think.” You excitedly inform, “They actually want to talk to me about something, and then it’s the last three months. Saving the world made my good behavior skyrocket.”

“I’m sure it did.” He smiles, “Well, let me know what happens. I’m heading down to Louisiana soon and my sisters want to meet you. She heard about your work with the soup kitchens in New York and she wanted some insight.”

“Really? Give her my number, you know I’d be happy to talk with her. I’ve been thinking about trying to get my officer to convince the big guys to expand my tracking radar so I reach out more.” You start to ramble about the ideas you’ve been having for more community service actions. During the blip, Steve got you into volunteer work and it sparked something inside of you. He said it might give you a new purpose and he couldn’t have been more right.

The two of you spend the rest of the day together, catching up on everything that’s been going on. You didn’t realize how much you missed his snarky comments and banter until he smothered you in it, “making up for lost time”, he said. He continues the bullying by texting back and forth for the next few days.

It was nice to have a friend after everything that happened over the last few years. Steve and Nat were gone so the friendships you built up during the blip were just a memory now. Yea, Bucky and you were friends but it was a bit more complicated than that.

It’s a few weeks after that and they’ve already named some prick the new Captain America. You were frustrated at Sam but you realized that he couldn’t have known that this was going to happen. Especially since when you reached out to him and he was more furious than you were. Bucky was a whole other story. When the press conference aired, he immediately called you and went off about Sam. You couldn’t offer answers so you just told him to talk to him about it. This didn’t involve you.

Now, you were sat at some random government office in DC. You were beyond nervous, leg bouncing and fingers tapping. Kevin, your sweet parole officer, had called you in for an emergency meeting. He didn’t mention anything about the content of it but he assured you not to worry. It didn’t help, though, your mind was scrambling trying to think of anything you could’ve done to break your parole or anywhere you could’ve gone that went outside your tracking radar.

“(Y/L/N)?” The familiar voice echoes through the lobby makes your head snap up. Kevin, your knight in a cashmere sweater, stands there with his hands in his pants pockets. He nods his head, gesturing for you to follow him.

He leads you down a long hallway, stopping at the end of it and holding the door open for you. You send him a grateful smile before entering the office. It was very different from his usual office. The tall windows lined the wall from floor to ceiling, making the already large room feel even more spacious. It was a bit unsettling compared to his close-knit office space located in an old house on the outskirts of DC.

Kevin moves you two to the large conference table on the other side of the room, having you sit before he does. He takes the chair at the head of the table, sighing as he opens the folder and takes a few papers out.

“Sign these.” He slides them over to you but you furrow your eyebrows in response.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re being released.” He announces, leaning back in his chair with a tight-lipped smile on his face. Your jaw drops and your heart picks up but you can’t help but question it. You quickly compose yourself and look down at the papers.

“Isn’t it a bit too early?” You ask while briefly scanning the papers. “I still have two months left, not that I’m not grateful but where is this coming from?” This was happening too suddenly, Kevin was good with warning you about the activities that go on behind the scenes of your parole and he didn’t even mention the thought of an early release.

The brunette man lets out a sigh, running his hair through his long hair. He then leans his elbows on the table with his head propped up on his palms, he opens his mouth to answer but is cut off by the office door opening.

The new Captain America and his sidekick come waltzing in, a few of his goons following as well. He didn’t need the uniform or shield for you to recognize him since his face has been plastered on every channel since they came forward with him. He’s all everyone could talk about.

“He released you.” You barely hear Kevin as your mind goes into spirals. What the hell did this guy want? Why is he even here? What the hell did he want with you?

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #avengers imagines #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #tfatws #avengers fanfic #mcu #james buchanan barnes x reader

[burnedbyshoto]

So I'm not trying to shame you. I have an app on my phone that let's me see what my daughter looks at online. She is fully aware of it. I just wish there was a way for you to make sure kids not of age can't see this. I know it's up to parents too. But it's difficult to try and stop my child from looking at this stuff. If you have any suggestions. She already feels like I'm invading her privacy.

hello mother of a follower, it’s nice to meet you, although in very, very strange circumstances if I must admit. so, a little background information on tumblr and my tumblr in specific!

tumblr is a very anonymous app if you want it to be. not only does each profile allow you to remain anonymous for all eternity, it’s a very “socially unfavorable” app meaning that most of the time you really don’t want you name tagged to your blog. I don’t know why, past reputations probably. due to the programming of tumblr, one thing it is incapable of doing — unlike twitter, tiktok, facebook, or instagram — is truly locking or privating accounts.

if someone wants to follow me, they can should they find my profile. so, clearly your child found my account.

I would like to point out that we can block profiles which prohibits profiles from viewing my page, but this does not stop them from hopping onto safari or whatever search engine and viewing my page. not only that but I do not block minors — i’m assuming your child is a minor in this case — because with someone with 25k+ followers that is continuously growing every day, I simply do not have the mental or emotional energy to track every single one of my followers age. I know there are some blogs who do such thing, but I do not because well... i’ll never get to the bottom of it.

I block minors when they are blatantly being minors in my eyes aka commenting or asking me something that includes their age. otherwise I do not interact with them as I fully expect them to not interact with me. as you can see via my blog header I am an “18+ blog minors dni” as a warning to them. I wish I could stop minors from reading and being on my blog, but I can’t. but it’s a warning so that if minors come onto my blog, they know they should not be here.

it may not be in my place, but I had overly strict parents myself. as a mexican daughter of immigrants my parents read and watched over everything I did before I turned 18 (they even used to read my text messages and would get angry about things i’d say even though they would tell me every day they would never read my texts) and they sort of do it still even though i’m 21. although I understand reasoning behind invasion of privacy of your child because I know it’s done with best of intentions, realize that even if it is your child, they deserve their own privacy. & hey it seems they’re just reading stories about fluff, smut, and angst about fictional boys — a step up from getting involved with drugs, sex, or whatever weird things you might believe minors be doing or could be doing.

what i think you need to do with your child, most importantly, is just talk with them. maybe you didn’t experience is as a minor, but take my own experience that we do at times feel horny and such. have the sex talk, have a progressive and open conversation with your child without shooting them down or making them feel bad about their very real and human feelings and temptations. discuss about how the things they read on my blog is not realistic — as any form of media is — but remember that you should never shame them for indulging on their sorts of entertainment.

I mean, I get it! if I was a parent and my child was reading erotica i’d freak out too because what do you do??? but also I know that it’s human and part of growing. I also know that if you shut it down and belittle or shame them, it will hurt them more than anything else. just have a discussion about healthy and safe sex if it’s the smut you’re concerned about, but that’s as far as I can help you. because if you’re unable to view your child as a human being that is growing up feeling how you did and maybe feelings in some areas more than others, you’ll hurt your relationship.

be a parent, but also be a human being and see your child as such too because one day they won’t be a minor anymore and there’s something they may or may not forgive you for. and if it’s too much for you then, maybe reconsider this privacy thing on your own end and maybe stop looking at what they do on their phone and trust that they’re making safe and healthy decisions because well... it sort of is an invasion of privacy. is your child allowed to view everything you look up on the internet? they’re communicating to you that they feel that your overstepping their boundaries & now you’re asking me to do something so that you can continue to enforce your restrictions on them. i mean, yes, i don’t want minors on my blog, but this is not the way to get minors to stop indulging into their more sexual feelings and emotions. strict parents breed mischievous kids and kids who don’t want anything to do with their parents once they taste freedom. be open. be charastimatic and empathic and realize that your child needs their privacy to indulge in their wants and needs without you being weirded out by it. educate your child but don’t destroy a happy spot for them.

it might mean nothing to you, but I promise you that a minor reading fanficition/being obsessed with fictional characters is not a bad thing or a crazy thing. i’m still relatively normal :) good luck, and I hope I neither offended or overstepped.

#lyssa doesnt shut up

[captainapple]

The Unforgotten Memory

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Warning: angst

Word Count: 850+

Part of a challenge from @babycap: “600 follower writing challenge”

Prompts: “Retrace my lips, erase your touch / It’s all too much for me” (Billie Eilish – Six Feet Under)

A/N: had to repost this since my old tumblr was banned for no reason.

Steve could not wait to visit you. He got lots of stories to tell you after his never-ending missions. You were always excited when he told you everything about his mission. He remembered how your eyes always lit up every time he won the battle. Sometimes he wondered if he overshared things and you would get bored eventually. But it was just in his mind. Every stories from him became your entertainment in your boring life. Steve saw your excitement similar to a teenager got excited over a new blockbuster movie in the cinema.

Every time he got back from a mission, he knew you prepared something for him. One day you surprised him with a midnight picnic on her apartment balcony. The balcony was small, yet you managed to arrange everything. You set the blanket, pillows, picnic basket, even a record player. After telling you all his story, he would slow dance with you. Steve and you wrapped around each other body and sway from left to right. Both of you did not really know how to dance, but who cares anyway. He enjoyed this close moment with you, even with the silly steps he made. You did not even realize that the music had stopped playing.

The last surprise was Steve’s most favorite. You took him on a motorcycle ride in Brooklyn. He was surprised that you learnt how to ride motorcycle when he was away. You let him guide you from places to places, remembering his old life in Brooklyn. He made sure you stopped at some of his favorite shops, the one he used to visit with Bucky in their childhood. Once again, he gladly answered all of your questions about him and best friend of his. When he got too emotional with his story, your fingers found its way to his hair, stroke his golden strands gently. He loved the warmth of your palm. Eventually, his head leaned against your shoulder. You both enjoyed the silence between you two. It was filled with love despite no words came out from you and him.

Not only the soft moments with you that he remembered, but also all of the antics of both of you. He remembered that you teamed up with him to fool Tony, ended up collecting almost a hundred buck for winning bets. Both of you also got nosy at Natasha and Bruce relationship. Steve asked Bruce to meet at the park while you were also telling Natasha the same thing. You could not stop laughing when seeing Bruce became sheepish around Nat and her cheek redden. Steve had to stop your laughter with a kiss before Bruce and Nat found out where you were hiding.

Thinking about all those moments with you, Steve did not realize that he has arrived. He opened up the gate and walked through grassy fields. The grass grew quite wild. He took mental note to call the caretaker after this.

“Hey! I’m finally here”, he began. “Do you miss me? Sorry, it took me too long. I’ve been to the most mind-blowing mission ever. I’ve been to Wakanda, space, and time travelling. Can you believe that? I don’t even know where to begin.”

Steve hates speaking with you now, knowing that you do not respond excitedly to his story. You never will. No matter how hard he tried to continue his story, his sobs come out uncontrollably. His eyes were fixed to your name on the gravestone. The date reminds him about the worst memory he had.

“I wish you were here. I really am. You know how wrong people judge me. They said I’m not selfish. But they are wrong! I am selfish. I want you here now, listening to me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I know you don’t feel pain anymore, but do you want me to stay broken?”

He is quiet for a moment. He does not know how he is feeling right now. He hates how the sun is shining brightly right now. It feels like the sky is betraying him. He wants to be drowned by his sadness and washed away by the rain. The world is a joke to him.

“Retrace my lips, the memory of your kiss burns my lips. Erase your touch if you intended to leave me like this”, he begged. He fisted the stone desperately. “It’s all too much for me”.

Deep down he knows that he is mad at himself. Steve could won thousands of battle and save the universe. The only thing that he could not save was you. Out of the unordinary things he did, he could not bring you back to life. You decided to leave him forever years ago. He wished he was there when your apartment building collapsed. That time, he was excited to tell you that he found Bucky is alive. He imagined all the cute reactions that you would give him. But the news arrived, and his dream shattered when he found you laid without a soul in the hospital bed. The only thing he was planning to do was asking you the question. Now, the velvet small box was buried with you, six feet under.

#devs600celebration #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers #capatain america #angst #sad #mcu #fanfiction #fanfics #marvel fanfiction #chris evans #writing challenge #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers angst