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kukuandkookie · 1 month

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Might copy and paste the text here later from my Twitter thread where I expressed why I enjoyed it, but I recently read My Little Poplar and ended up liking Bai Xinyu and Yu Fengcheng quite a bit!

Yu Fengcheng’s eventual regret was honestly written really well, and the relationship between the two leads has good chemistry. 👌

Even better is that it features Jian Suiying, who I also have gotten weirdly attached to???

Like objectively the book Jian Suiying comes from, In Love With an Idiot, has its flaws. Or rather, it employs tropes that really aren’t for everyone, which includes the main couple fighting constantly (so it’s basically fighting and then fucking and then fighting and then fucking and you get the idea), and it gets kind of overdramatic at times, as some very angsty-type stories can be—whether they’re from China (known as “dog blood” stories) or not.

I even found it a little silly that so many were so obsessed with Jian Suiying, and yet…

Here I am now, sliiiightly obsessed with him. 🤡😂

It’s just that! As I mentioned on my Twitter, he’s so unique for a shou/bottom/uke character!! Before he met Li Yu, he was always the top, and he’s sexually confident and pretty intelligent and ruthless and…well, temperamental. He does admittedly have a charm to him that works and I find it pretty amazing the author managed to predict that, since so many characters in her novels adore him BDMGIHSKD.

Even his red flags give him charm, because while he is problematic, the red flags make him an intriguing character. The author does a pretty good job at balancing the different aspects of him that make him technically infuriating and yet also compelling.

His charm is further boosted by the fact there’s actually a clip of one of his VAs just trying to cheer you up if you’re sad?? Like hello??? 🥺

It is no longer a surprise to me that Li Yu ended up so obsessed with Jian Suiying. 😆

Also I’ll note now the last image is actually by the My Little Poplar manhua artist while the others are from the manhua adaptation of Jian Suiying’s own novel! I like how the manhua artist draws him quite a bit since it feels so him. I’ve seen fan art and they sometimes feature him smaller and thus not domineering enough, even though they usually show him with the same hairstyle—which makes for a fun tangent on its own since danmei designs can be a bit “basic,” so when one specific design becomes a recognizable look for a character, I find it pretty cool.

In fact, one of my favourite details in My Little Poplar was watching Yu Fengcheng be very frustrated with how much Bai Xinyu looked up to Jian Suiying. 🤭

Also just seeing him show up always made me go “yay!” because it’s so fun getting to see him again, especially as part of his story aligns with My Little Poplar (as in the plots of both novels happen somewhat concurrently).

Similarly, the manhua adaptation, My Beloved Fool, has a really nice art style and I really like that the artist always lets Jian Suiying shine by really dressing him up. He and Shi Qi from Trap a Vicious Dog (another series I want to ramble about on why I’m enjoying it so far) are two manhua protagonists I know of who are like…confident smart corporate bosses that get stylish fits almost every manhua chapter, which is a nice detail ahaha.

My Beloved Fool has recently hit the heavy angst section of the novel so it’ll be depressing to follow for a while since you’ll just watch Li Yu fall apart as Jian Suiying suffers absolute hell. 😔

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Someone even uploaded the first season of the vomic version of the manhua on YouTube. 👀

Similarly, I’m really excited for the My Little Poplar manhua to get to all the good bits of the story there, since Bai Xinyu develops a lot as a character and I find Yu Fengcheng’s regret especially well done. But evidently it’ll take quite some time to get there; first we have to get past the military bullying alfndkfjjss.

Anyway the actual reason I started typing this out before I spiralled into another huge ramble asjakfl is that I found In Love With an Idiot and My Little Poplar audio dramas on YouTube!!

I’d heard some In Love With an Idiot audio clips from something that some fans had shared to YouTube before, but it sounds like those clips were from a completely different audio drama than the one I landed on. I’m especially excited about the My Little Poplar one. Even if it’s not extremely high quality (I think Bing Xing Xia Deng aka Inferior by Nature aka The Selfish Gene has admittedly spoiled me because it was so high quality 😆), it’s still fun hearing these characters come to life aurally.

Even more so since iirc I saw a Twitter post saying the My Little Poplar and In Love With an Idiot got taken down officially, so they may only be accessible via online reuploads right now. I can’t find the post to confirm, but if true, I’m glad someone preserved them. 🙏

Update: I did find the other version’s VAs of the In Love With an Idiot audio drama! Except it’s maybe a…sequel? Where a Li Yu of the past transmigrates 5 years into the future when Li Yu and Jian Suiying are a couple?? It’s on MaoEr FM…and it’s for free. 👁️

In fact, I could totally ramble about the Bing Xing Xia Deng audio drama—which I already have for a friend, so I can just copy and paste that long-ass (slightly more incoherent because it’s a lot of fangirling) wall of text here haha. I am currently very obsessed with that series too because it really is high quality and I like how it evolved the novel it’s adapting, but my friend is the expert on it so I feel a bit more shy about sharing my thoughts sometimes.

Welp that went on quite a number of tangents but yeah. I’ve enjoyed these novels and I’m very happy they got audio dramas and that they are still out there to be enjoyed after everything. 🥺💕

OH and final note but…the fun fact about the 188男团 aka 188 Group, which is the overall series Jian Suiying and Bai Xinyu belong to (so-called because it’s 10 novels that share a universe and all feature (scum) gongs of 188 cm) got sort of made into an “actual” 男团, aka a boy band/group! I found the couple (?) songs they released and some fan songs and it’s nice seeing them all “singing” together alfjskfjs.

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An English translation can be found here!

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An English translation can be found here!

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Me when I spy Jian Suiying, Li Yu, Yu Fengcheng, and Bai Xinyu especially in the MVs: 🥺

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noodle-schrammy · 2 years

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I was at the atmos dolby and it was amazing

WARNING ZEIT SPOILERS

ZEIT SPOILERS

Outift check 👌

It was such exciting to walk through the halls

HUUUUUGE

the feeling was beautiful

The atmosphere and the way the crowd clapped

Zeit

Zick zack

Angst

Dicke titten

Ofc also at ok

And Adiö ( I can't type 😭)

The album is amazing

Zeit and zick zack won't be taken into this rant cause it isnt new but they're still amazing

Now

Armee der Tristen

It was an interesting somg and the beginning was beautiful

The way it's all one of Rammstein song

Where they say

Hey come with us were one big thing

The instrumental is great, it ins the powerhouse that we get from giftig or angst yet it still gives you the idea at what we get in it

Melancholy and heavy chords

Schwarz

It's an interesting song, it begins very soft and has a heavy lyrics. In the cinema it doesn't have the power like when you listen to it via headphones.

Makes you question if the guys are ok

Giftig

Oh my god the beginning was beautiful and just the lyrics 👀 It had me wonder if it's about the way humans can be toxic or the whole corona thing

Yet yet

DU BIST GIFTIG

ACH SO GIFTIG

*dance*

It's a beautiful song and I'm in love, literally it's the way it should be the power in the keyboard and the riffs it had me such close to singing and dancing

The masterpiece

This song when it got played in the cinema EVERYONE CHEERED oh till know what he had to do and it's amazing

It has a big call back to pussy and this whole titel was beautiful revealed 😂

Meine tränen

Meine tränen has a big recaller to one dich in the keyboard tunes at 1:54 minutes in and mutter

Oh very very emotional about this song especially the last pieces of lyrics at

It just there's this small pause that let's you "try" to recollect before it crushes you

The main chorus has its recalling at how the main person in this song shouldn't cry yet their mother had died as In failing as the caregives so..

Yet this whole song hurts alot mutter lässt grüßen

Angst

The masterpiece in the beginning and end, the strong drums giving the tone as the riffs give the tone

The lyrics tell stories of the newest what mostly in Germany gets to be happening

Its wonderful yet such creepy at the same time at the most the reverse lines

Over all its a beautiful song and I'm excited to see the mv again 👀

And now we may rest our pants as the anthem of richa- Rammstein sets in

Dicke titten

Beginning with the Oktoberfest vibes and setting in with new riffs

The whole song seeming to have a lot incomming with a lifad song I think 0-0 idk fully yet it's a wonder of art

The middle part as the kapelle plays in with the band is beautiful and has me always at the edge of it

// side note Richard in dirndl 👀

Now into the softer part and Into

Lügen

A very sweet song that has lindemann potential 👀

It starts soft has you in securely hold before dropping you into the soft anthem era of rosenrot

And the heavy sounds of the middle part

We all know that it was more a mental slap to every person how we lie to ourselves but assort of that

I can only say it's great LÜÜÜGEN

The 2:12 mark sets in with great work of the guitars and drums as the keyboard can rest a while

As tills voice has it's great effect

Listening to it now has a lot of power yet from here we go into the depression hall

Adieu

A song that had everyone in tears, deeply taking everyone out at the riffs before letting them all know it's time or not- it's unclear what they talk about

Some say it's about the end of the band

Some other say it's about death

Yet we know one thing... Till is a poet

And the keyboard carries each and every song

Yet 🤕 it hurts

Hearing it at last in the cinema had me cry and if I didn't read about the 2023 four I would have been more broken yet none the last they have done it with or without saving

They took us all to rammtrauma without a dinner

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

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11 may 2023 Hursday jueves 3:37 pmpt

Diarrhea was mostly blood 🩸. When you call ☎️ out a beast vicious beast with no humanity, they increase the penalty. 3:38 pmpt

3:40 pmpt 3+ cups of blood 🩸 I estimate from looking at it. 3:41 pmpt

Sumner, I think 💭 he doesn’t plan for my blog to be seen by anyone. I typed in the url for the fuse YouTube video and it said unavailable. I think 💭 they changed it or I typed it in wrong. He doesn’t plan for Scott or any government employees or hospitals 🏥 to go down for s*x trafficking of minors. That is what the police 👮‍♂️ probably thought 💭 was going to happen to Sierra LaMar so they called her cries for help a hoax and framed an innocent someone. 3:44 pmpt he doesn’t plan to change anything at all. 3:45 pmpt

They don’t care about child rape or forced prostitution which is rape. Of a minor. 3:46 pmpt I think they all like it.

3:47 pmpt they don’t care that garrido raped dugard all her life from 11 years old. If the demon angels say it’s ok 👌 they’re happy to conform. The police 👮‍♂️. The hospitals 🏥. The governments. Capitalism. People with houses 🏠 who do pizza 🍕 gate have protected rights. Houses 🏠 mansions. Big property with back yards and sheds. 3:50 pmpt

3:53 pmpt why fight? All it is is a distraction. Our voices do nothing. It’s only buying them time to do the stuff they want such as f*ck minors in secrecy. 3:54 pmpt

4:12 pmpt he let Scott have a years b4 going to trial for running over avalos. Which enabled them to use time to blur memory to conceal evidence that he probably saw avalos and intentionally ran him over. They let him get away with anything. So why would anyone investigate 🔬 him for s*x trafficking of minors, even if they are half white? 4:16 pmpt what if in reality Asians are not Asian at all? 4:17 pmpt

Scott ran over avalos 2/22/2009. Trial happened 2013. 4:18 pmpt

4:28 pmpt gas ⛽️ fumes from outside 😩 difficulty breathing. My dad has gray eyes 👀. My aunt and uncle I think has blue eyes 👀. But their parents had browns eyes 👀. Why is it that it seems all Asians have brown eyes 👀 and dark hair? I wish I took genetics 🧬 biology 🧬 so I can understand. 4:30 🕟 pmpt

5:23 pmpt women don’t want to be pregnant 🤰 all the time but if they feel that they need to have babies 👶 and feel able to they would do it. I always felt scared 😱 that it would hurt. I was especially scared 😱 when I was 16 years old. And someone scared 😱 me about c-sections. 5:26 pmpt left jaw joint pain 5:27 pmpt incubus miñion put fish 🐠 oil in my food 🥘🤢 now I’m suffering and miserable with my options. He threatens me with every food it seems. Why everyone else gets to enjoy. Even a guy who is now suspected of being a rapist was able to get oxygen tanks. 5:30 🕠 pmpt

5:37 pmpt s*x trafficking is an organized crime? Saratoga is full of rich 🤑 people . Which is where Sierra LaMar said she was taken to in the hoax. Police 👮‍♂️ protect rich 🤑 people Bcz rich 🤑 people bribe them with donations. Those dodge chargers looked fancy and sporty and modern. A lot of police 👮‍♂️ were driving those in 2017. A house 🏠 with a red door 🚪 in Saratoga. 5:41 pmpt. I wonder if only rich 🤑 people are able to afford prostitution world 🌎 wide? Including of 11 year olds? I’m curious about Brooke shields 🛡 documentary now. And that movie 🎥 she did when she was 11 years old. Art 🖼 imitation of reality? Reality imitates art 🖼. 5:44 pmpt

5:48 pmpt I guess people with houses 🏘 are more prone to be “sickos”? Rich 🤑 people? I need to see that Brooke shields 🛡 movie 🎥 now. 5:49 pmpt

5:51 pmpt pretty baby 1978. I thought 💭 I heard her say 11 years old but IMDb says 12 years old. When Britney Spears conservatorship was about to end I tried looking up IMDb of Justin Timberlake’s movies. When I looked I couldn’t find model behavior on the list. 😵 maybe it’s there now? 5:53 pmpt tummy incubus miñion has been attacking.

5:55 pmpt acid hot pain right nostril 👃😵😖😭😤🥵exhaling hot 🥵 air. Yeah no one cares about me. Everyone I guess even though they heard apocalypse from incubus they probably all assumed everything would go back to the way it usually is/was. Inflation though made it look absurd enough to make me think 💭 not. Does that usually happen? San Francisco union square is going to completely change probably. 5:58 pmpt

6:42 pmpt if you intentionally tamper with food 🍱 by request of the incubus, you are lining yourself up 🆙 with child 🧒 rapists and s*x traffickers of minors. 6:43 pmpt

6:45 pmpt I think they took away half or more of my butt bones 🦴 length. 6:46 pmpt

When Jaycee dugard was hidden in the sheds in garrido’s property he brought her fast food 🍔. The black ants 🐜 got to it b4 she could. 6:49 pmpt incubus deprive their victims of food. 6:50 pmpt

When I was in elementary school 🏫 I had to give up 🆙 a piece of my sandwich 🥪 to a bee 🐝 on multiple days. 7:10 pmpt

When I was 5th grade? I felt weird feelings about a pack of younger boys. I thought 💭 that I was interpreting what they felt. I think 💭 it was part of the start of feeling psychic. The weird feelings were disturbing to me. I don’t remember saying anything to them. I only remember making eye 👁 contact and one of them had green eyes 👀. Then they started to chase me. I think 💭 I ran a lot for many minutes. I think 💭 until the end of recess ow left eye 👁 pinching 🤏 pain. Trying to remember how it stopped. I remember they started conflict resolution meetings with a guy dressed in a cartoony 🦸‍♂️ hero costume and we called him Arnold. A classmate identified a few of them and called them to come to our class to tell them infront of everyone to stop 🛑 chasing me. 7:17 pmpt

7:19 pmpt I guess the psychic feelings is part of the “vibes”, “bad vibes,”

“good vibes” stuff that people mention all the time now. Part of the apocalypse. We also had read the giver book 📚 around this time. 5th grade. Elementary school 🏫. 7:21 pmpt when I was at a beach 🏝 recently I heard a young woman 👩🏼 say “bad vibes” over and over again within feet 🦶 of me. 7:22 pmpt

1991 I was in elementary school 🏫. And Jaycee dugard was kidnapped by garrido. Police 👮‍♂️ didn’t get bad vibes from garrido. Police 👮‍♂️ are probably bad vibes but we don’t get that from them? 7:24 pmpt

7:27 pmpt butt is searing hot 🥵 it’s painful. Probably acid. 7:27 pmpt incubus justified rape of 11 year old girls. You do what they say and worship them = you worship child rapists and torture. 7:29 pmpt

What makes a good person ? A bad person? 7:30 🕢 pmpt

7:30 🕢 pmpt someone is very mad at the doors 🚪 in the hall. 7:31 pmpt

7:32 pmpt women want friendship even from men. We get tired of trying to control our feelings and actions. We want to know if our feelings will grow from friendship. We can’t do that if you are always hitting on us. 7:34 pmpt

7:39 pmpt therefore if you are a female, never go out alone. Never go on one on one dates. Don’t go to amans house 🏠 even if he lives in a nice rich 🤑 neighborhood. 7:40 pmpt

7:49 pmpt Adobe puzzle 🧩 looks like screw heads. Probably means whoever could afford photoshop in the early 2000s can screw us over. Nothing changed. Nothing will change. People who own houses 🏘 are hoes and child rapists. 7:51 pmpt

8:03 pmpt stupid dramas on tv 📺 are depicting people who say defund the police 👮‍♂️ as people who cause trouble. The police 👮‍♂️ put a woman in hand cuffs into an suv 🚙 and got hit by a train 🚊 it was a miracle she survived. That was September in the Bay Area? Police are guilty of forced prostitution of a teen. People who probably want to defund the police 👮‍♂️ recognize corruption in the police 👮‍♂️. Tv 📺 screen writers are trying to brain wash America 🇺🇸. More proof that the five is behind s*x trafficking of minors. 8:07 pmpt

I didn’t write ✍️ type five. Incubus changed it. Police 👮‍♂️ are part of government. Makes police and government and Hollywood part of s*x trafficking of minors and child rape. 8:09 pmpt

8:45 pmpt Derek’s aol screen name has std in it. Short for standard. 8:47 pmpt

8:48 pmpt incubus protects s*x trafficking of minors and child rapists. 8:49 pmpt dereK is not a rapist to my knowledge. Autocorrect: sister, death. I don’t want to know what that means. A lot of signs 🪧 I see in people’s names is Daniel is bad or dies. Susanna and Daniel references by demon lord incubus. King 🤴 David got his first wife back even though he didn’t love 💗 her. It was probably for power not love 💗. God incubus loves king 🤴 David and not Uriah which sounds like pee. 8:54 pmpt if incubus loves king 🤴 David, and not Uriah, then he probably hates Daniel and Susanna. 8:56 pmpt

8:57 pmpt and George. 😤🥵😤😖😭😫😩

9:42 pmpt people make excuses for s*x trafficking of minors. But that is forced prostitution = rape. That is not a beautiful liFe.. autocorrect is not helping sometimes. Some guys will openly date young women. Guys who kidnap and do s*x trafficking are probably not reAlly (damn autocorrect) nice people. They’ve probably very cruel but are deceptively nice. 9:47 pmpt

9:58 pmpt I don’t buy the “fake crime” explanation from incubus. Nick v./b. Did that to me in high school 🏫. He was learning how to be deceptive from the incubus I suspect. On MySpace years later he changed his name to nickolai like nickolaitian. In high school 🏫 after the friends with benefits had ended, after he told me that anger and fighting back is bad in different words, he sent me online showing he was working with expensive digital art program maybe photoshop illustrator. He put my name in an artful way under a female warrior cartoon character. I don’t remember if it was wonder woman 👩🏼 or a different one similar to Xena warrior princess 👸🏻 . Bikini 👙 with armor and a sword 🗡. Probably a psychological fake out the incubus instructed him to do. 10:06 pmpt everytime I think something will end my suffering I’m usually wrong 😑 but I’m putting this out there. There was also a weird rumour going around town I heard on the street and saw online from Ana nonymous website that someone named Nick was into weird porn of dead women in bathtubs 🛁 and I thought I should get confirmation from someone who knew him but I couldn’t get an answer out of him. 10:13 pmpt I figured maybe his little brother found out and told everyone at school 🏫 and that’s how it probably ended up online and in the street. 10:15 pmpt his little brother probably wasn’t aware of how big it was that he was spreading around. I bet he probably wouldn’t remember. 10:16 pmpt

12:05 am pt it’s rare to find a doctor that will cure a disease 🦠 it seems from my experience. 12:06 am pdt I think all the medical dramas on tv should come with a disclaimer when the doctor finds a cure. Warning might not depict reality. Still looking for a cure. If they ever do. My memory is very fuzzy now. 12:08 am pt 12:09 am pt my guess is I’m going to die without any help. 12:09 am pt

12:18 am pT I did not get any help fr My doctor 👩‍⚕️. I became very upset with her for playing dumb. And she turned it around on me saying I was disrespectful. But she’s not a good person I kno Now. She was using any excuse she can to change the subject. If I’m mentioning something that sounds serious 🧐 and I was given the run around by the previous doctor 👨‍⚕️ it seems like she’s playing games with my anxiety. 12:23 am pt she started saying a bunch of words that sounded like she wanted to talk about something else instead of asking me directly about the pain and what it might be. So I got upset. 12:25 am pt

12:26 am pt she sounded like she didn’t care. 12:27 am pt

12:28 am pt this is probably similar to how garrido was treated? I wonDer 💭. Autocorrect stuff. 12:30 🕧 am pt. But I didn’t do what garrido did. 12:31 am pt 12 may Friday.

12:34 am pt probably similarly to Q, Nick V./B. And carter trying to take advantage of people who have learning disabilities. There’s a man who got beat up for his wallet and after that he became great at math and saw tessellations everywhere and autistic people who are good at drawing ✍️🎨 12:38 am pt. I told Nick I got an A+ in algebra. ( I did not tell him but the teacher put my drawing in the front office Bcz it was great 👍 A grade quality work.) after I told him my math grade via aol messenger he asked if I would let a guy finger me. 12:43 am pt I started having difficulty with math 🧮 2014. And I think 💭 I realiZed something year 2022 about math 🧮. I’m guessing it’s the reason Nick copied the answer from my comp What the teacher gave me in Java class. Prequisites were to do well in algebra. And the reason He had video games on his graphIng calculator, aand maybe 🤔 asked to borrow mine infront of crystal junior year... I would need confirmation from krystle what he used my calculator for. Maybe 🤔 doesn’t matter. Bcz Nick sent me that digital art 🖼 with my name . He was probably told exactly what the answers were. How would a graphing calculator have any memory left to be a graphing calculator with games on it? For some reason I thought it was Mario bros. If someone can confirm ... 12:55 am pdt

1:03 am pt allegory of the cave. We have different realities. Hypothesis. 1:04 am pt 1:05 am pt. Will this go on for infinity? 8. 1:06 am pt let’s go back to the start. 1:07 am pt

1:10 am pt hypothesis: Nick treated me like a whore Bcz he thought he could get away with it. 1:11 am pt Bcz I was trained to be from humping Mickey Mouse 🧸 toy. Bcz he had a special relationship with the incubus who would supply him with whores galore. Incubus has an escape plan for them for everything so naturally I would be left with the blame. 1:15 am pt at 15 years old I was left to assume what friends with benefits meant. A virgin with barely any dating experience. I was hoping for the friendship stuff to start. We weren’t friends yet. 1:17 am pt 1:18 am pt

1:22 am pt maybe 🤔 Nick thought 💭 I was a doll that he could push into doing whatever he wants. 1:23 am pt

1:34 am pt the thing is, is that what Nick believed? (Left hip bone 🦴 pain 1:36 am pt)

here’s the thing, I need to review math 🧮 now Bcz it’s been a long time. There’s a game we played in elementary school 🏫 to start multiplication: circles ⭕️ and stars ⭐️ and you use dice 🎲. 1:38 am pt. 1:39 am pt right knee searing pain.

1:44 am pt yeah I did not realize the problem with my hypothesis until now. Which now I realize that is why he said I was under the test. I guess I didn’t pass it even though I didn’t let him touch me. “Brendan” tried me out at the same time Nick tried me. Incubus wanted me to believe he was “Brendan.” Why? Why? Why? Why me? Why move in on the girl Nick was trying? I guess it doesn’t matter. This is only to pass the time. Nothing is going to change my world 🌎. 🎶🎼🎵🎤

If I was under the test and incubus was really talking to me as “Brendan” with Brendan Lean’s account then I guess he was satisfied that I didn’t let Nick touch me. 🧐🥸😖😭🥵😤🥵😤 my mom told me I had s*xy legs 🦵 and my friend told me I had a s*xy butt, and since my parents separated we lived up 🆙 stairs so I did stairs every day. 1:53 am pt I don’t see any purpose to this now but to distract me Bcz nothing has changed. Except my body and life is absurd and miserable 😖 . 1:55 am pt

1:58 am pt what matters to me is what Nick thought 💭 he could do with me. What the incubus said exactly in what order. 1:59 am pt like kids who were given misinformation thinking 💭 they can kill me by punching my head Bcz they thought 💭 there was a natural hole 🕳 like I read on Wikipedia once. 2:01 am pt did the incubus tell them they could kill me and they would not be punished? There was a tv show called my strange affliction. There was a kid 👧 who tried to kill a sibling Bcz demons were telling the kid to do it. 2:03 am pt

2:08 am pt my hypothesis was Nick thought 💭 he can use me as a whore, Bcz he asked me if I would let a guy finger me after I told him I got an A+ in algebra freshman year of high school 🏫. 2:10 am pt

3:28 am pt here’s a hypothesis I have been holding back on: garrido. Dugard said ever since she was 11 years old garrido would rape her once a week. Why once a week? And why did it hurt her? Is it Bcz, was there a chance that it hurt him? If it hurt him why would he try again a week later? Bcz he was a zombie 🧟‍♂️? A doll? A doll if hit, [bcomes] ill 🤒 il-er/sicker. F that’s the case, how many of these were tests and how many were forced? Either way, demon angels of incubus, incubus miñions made it happen. Bcz demon lord god incubus wanted it to happen. 3:34 am pt Bcz he likes torture (weird noise 3:34 am pt) if garrido was 100% zombie 🧟‍♂️ a name that god gave to Adolfo hitler would suggest this might be so. Which means god himself is a sicko. 3:35 am pt

3:40 am pt Jon benet Ramsey happend when. The incubus was months away from turning 18 years old. 3:41 am pt

I never 👎 questioned my teachers 👨🏻‍🏫 about anything. I always tried to follow along on their examples in classes. And for some reasons, anything and everything I guess was true. Always thought was true/truth. Until year 2022. I got very good grades in math 🧮 classes. Senior year I did have issues but I felt dumber and my teacher 👨🏻‍🏫 did not teach to my learning style. But I got A+, A, probably A’s and B’s for the rest which was geometry 📐 and algebra 2 , and pretrigonometry and was it calculus? No matter what excuse reasons god used to justify dugard’s rape I think it was a heinous torturers and health-risky thing which makes it torture. The movie I watched about the 11 year old? Asian girl kidnapped and gang raped committed suicide in the end for some reason. Probably Bcz it was terrorifying and damaged her uterus and other organs Bcz she was too small. Heinous. If garrido was 100% zombie 🧟‍♂️ forced by god to rape her Bcz maybe 🤔 it was to show the consequences of doctors 🥼 and police 👮‍♂️ negligence of garrido’s treatments. Still doctors 🥼 want to say bad stuff happened Bcz they are bad people. They should quit being doctors 🥼 then Bcz the profession is dead ☠️. He was still alive and treatable. You don’t want patients? Don’t be a doctor 👨‍⚕️. 3:53 am pt

3:54 am pt so this is what I questioned in 2022: the rule for multiplying. If you see it you see it. If you don’t you don’t. But I didn’t see it until year 2022. But maybe 🤔 Nick v./b. And Q and carter knew already a long time ago. Even Q messed with me telling me on the phone ☎️ told me I see things differently [than other people]. 3:46 (looks like bye backwards or ebb and flow3:58 am pt) 3:56 am pt allegory of the cave. I think 💭 this is the reason why Nick thought he could treat me like a white (whore 4:04 am pt. Incubus changed it) besides the incubus telling him that inwasss a whore. Damne autocorrect right hip pain. 4 am pt maybe I was under the test but it was after I hit my head and punched in the head so by thesis (6:40 am pt: hypothesis, god ) given name of a doll if hit ill-er. If I got hit it means I am/was a doll. Like garrido with his head trauma from a motorcycle 🏍 accident. 4:02 am pt 6:41 am pt

12:15 pmpt demon angels and incubus are: sickos ickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous heinous sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos sickos heinous sickos heinous sickos heinous sickos sickos heinous heinous sickos heinous sickos sickos rapist sickos heinous heinous rapist sickos heinous rapist rapist sickos sickos heinous heinous rapist rapist sickos sickos heinous heinous rapist rapist sickos heinous heinous rapist rapist sickos sickos heinous heinous rapist rapist sickos sickos heinous heinous rapist rapist sickos sickos heinous heinous rapist rapist sickos 12:20 pmpt

10:17 pmpT he seared my chest organs it was extremely painful 😖 hot 🥵. He heated up 🆙 my stomach again I think 💭. I think 💭 I should quit. 10:19 pmpt

11:48 am pt 13 may 2023 11:48 . Incubus has been burning 🔥 around and inside my ears with acid and heat. I think 💭 he distorted the shape. Probably going to make it harder to clean 🧼.😞 weird people have been driving by with very loud music within last 4 days. Makes me think it’s special delivery like a passing by singing telegram to let me know he intends to hurt my ears 👂.😖😭😞 11:53 am pt happened at least 3 times. I don’t have a husband. Probably never did. 11:54 am pt. My ear 👂 feels weird and the sound isn’t the same. I’m not even 39 years old yet. My mom was dating a younger man 👨 when she was 39 years old. 11:56 am pt I was celibate for many years trying to not be a whore. But I sometimes was too afraid to date again. I always wanted to be done hoping One of the guy’s was the one and I wished on a star to have feelings for him. But I was so stupid Bcz I thought 💭 I fell in love with the other guy I wasn’t attract d to. I felt weird. Hyper happy but it was a little strange feeling so I didn’t think 💭 that it was good. It was very fast . I had started seeing him in October. I don’t think 💭 we hung out that much. But we met when we were kids. The hyper happiness felt unreal.. in a way. Recently I had a dream with that guy in it last month. The feelings of being in love was stronger. It Was a really nice feeling. Unfortunately most guys move too fast 💨 and I did my best not to be a whore. Only 4 guys. The last 2 I said no to for s*x but they challenged me. So I gave in. First guy and last guy were too short at the time for me. The 2nd and 3rd guy were only once. The 2nd guy was through clothing but I wouldn’t recommend it. 12:11 pmpt 12:12 pmpt

12:33 pmpt feels like he attacked ear 👂 canal? with acid. 12:34 pmpt Kentucky horse 🐴 park nbc Scott McLaughlin. I took a class with McLaughlin in middle school 🏫😖😭😞 acid ear 👂 canal. I’ve Only been to a handful of concerts and rarely played music loud. My sister probably went to a lot more. Probably I was sacrificed more so she could have more. Kindergarten curse. Saint Lucia curse. 12:40 but the miñion likes to vilify me. Insult injury vicious. 12:41 pmpt

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hashire · 2 years

Text

I posted 8,501 times in 2021

1573 posts created (19%)

6928 posts reblogged (81%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.4 posts.

I added 1,218 tags in 2021

#mdzs - 239 posts

#snk spoilers - 168 posts

#rivamika - 160 posts

#dgm - 109 posts

#snk 139 - 109 posts

#tgcf - 105 posts

#me - 104 posts

#sk8 the infinity - 89 posts

#nice - 81 posts

#baby girl - 54 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mmmmmᎷм💯 👌👌 👌нo0оଠoooooоଠଠooooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀

My Top Posts in 2021

Levi is dad, Jean is big brother

138 notes • Posted 2021-03-05 17:19:53 GMT

140 notes • Posted 2021-01-07 19:36:00 GMT

a rivamika fic masterlist

Before I start, I feel it's necessary to say that I am a filthy multishipper. If you think this makes me a fake fan, please allow me to suggest that you move along. If not, please feel free to stay. Thank you.

I've had most my rivamika fics hidden for a month. I've detailed my reasons in another post and don't want to repeat them here. I did, however, have another revelation recently that has helped me come to terms with why I did it and subsequently helped me move forward, in a way. I'm not going into detail about that.

A final note before I start: I have one more rivamika fic planned. This will be, barring extreme circumstances, my final rivamika fic. I don't know when it will be finished. Just that that's what it will be.

So, here we go. A masterlist of all of my rivamika fics, ordered by rating and then by date. Enjoy.

gen

among the teacups: The tenure of Miss Mikasa Ackerman as housekeeper in Ackerman Manor. [AU, my first (posted) rivamika fic; I commissioned art for my favorite part, which I must add is near the end and doesn't represent the content of the whole fic.]

of restless nights: In which the twins wake up in the middle of the night. [Post-canon-ish gen fluff drabble.]

a moment's surrender: Eren leaves, Mikasa flounders, and things change. [Canon divergence meant to be a standalone fic, but I was encouraged to continue and...haven't because I can't write longfic. Permanent hiatus.]

teen+

hickeys: She sits in his lap in the late afternoons, running her fingers through his hair. He nuzzles her jaw, kisses her throat, leaves marks on her skin. [AU, suggestive themes but not explicit.]

in the morning light: The sound of birds wakes her. It’s one of those rare days off: for morale and to rest before an expedition. It’s been far too long to wake up without an alarm blasting at her.

She shuts her eyes and starts to doze again when something tickles her ankle. Reflexively, her leg jerks to knock whatever it is away. Before it can connect, a hand catches her foot. She opens her eyes.

“Careful,” Levi says, thumb rubbing her arch. [Somewhere in canon, suggestive themes. Based on art from ask-secretrivamika.]

to force the moment: Three times it doesn't happen, and one time it does. [AU, feat. Captain Mikasa/Cadet Levi. Also based on art from ask-secretrivamika. I don't have any links handy.]

drink and be merry: In which Mikasa drinks and ruins things and Levi is annoyed. [Canon. Prompt response that I posted before I started putting them all under one heading (see: start a scene or two); rated for drinking.]

explicit

allaying the fever: The concern she feels as his back hits the desk and his neck overextends is very much in the back of her mind. She crawls – slinks – on top of him, settling astride his legs.

“Levi,” she says, and he drags his head up to look her in the eye, “say it.” [Canon, complete and total smut.]

eat you alive: In which there is stretching, showering, and some other things. [Canon, complete and total smut.]

it's just a phase: Levi believes that Mikasa is going through a rebellious phase and doesn't understand why she insists on tormenting him. [AU, friends to lovers, very smut.]

over the lunch hour: “This is a bad idea,” he says. She crosses her arms.

“And yet you’re here.” Levi snorts. He sticks his hands in his pockets and pivots to walk over to her.

“Didn’t you say you were going to put a curse on me if I didn’t show up?” He tips his face up to meet her eyes.

“I didn’t really mean that.”

“Of course not. And I don’t believe any of that shit so I didn’t care.” [High School Caste AU, janitor Levi and goth Mikasa, very smut. Also in Russian by...someone. They didn't tell me they were doing it so I only stumbled across it recently.]

in the cards: Levi gives Mikasa a card for Valentine's Day. [AU, feat. middle school babies being cute/sad in the first two chapters and adult rivamika smut in the third.]

other

a heap of images: Entries for the Rivamika Week - All-Time Favorite Tropes.

fake relationship (AU, gen)

hurt/comfort (Canon divergence, feat. Eren's death and aftermath; written in December 2019, probably between gen and teen+)

enemies to lovers (Medieval romance AU, teen+ for blood and suggestive stuff)

arranged marriage (AU, somewhere between gen and teen+)

coffeeshop au (swearing, so teen+ I guess)

pining (Canon, set around/during 123)

happily ever after: a collection of post-canon fics, sorted chronologically (not in the order they were written).

clean-shaven: In which Mikasa reluctantly shaves Levi's face. [M, suggestive, not really smut.]

looking into the heart of light: An early morning tryst. [E, very smut (recently added to the collection because it fits).]

on a fragmented memory: The stream, she thinks, is louder this morning. [Gen, angst and fluff.]

in a wink: A tired mother, a baby who doesn't want to sleep, her father, and a jerk in a tea shop. [Gen, rivamika with bb.]

like a ray of light: In which Kuchel and Mikasa visit Eren's grave. [Gen, Mikasa with rivamika bb.]

lilocks: Mikasa and Kuchel walk over to the tea shop. [Gen, first thing written for this series before it actually became a series.]

disturbing the dust: In which Kuchel asks about the scars. [Gen, feat. rivamika second bb in the background.]

So yeah. That's that. Takeaways? Why does it feel like I wrote and posted more than I did? Maybe I'm including all of the other stuff that isn't rivamika in my head. I had fun, but I think it is time to move on to other things. I'll always love you, rivamika.

147 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 23:26:40 GMT

120, right after shooting Eren

124, right after shooting at Nile :(

137, protecc from recoil

334 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 18:23:53 GMT

Eren: I don't want Mikasa to move on with another guy!

Mikasa: OK.

Mikasa marries Historia. They raise the baby together. Farmer helps.

The end.

345 notes • Posted 2021-04-07 15:13:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#your tumblr year in review #I am surprised by none of this #hmmm #the md/zs tag being the top tag was a lil surprising tho #i guess #so many reblogs so little original posts #long post

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