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#everybody hates when you sit together in meetings because you sit and whisper to each other behind a sheet of paper
lov1ngkvroo · 2 years
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kuroo tetsurou doesn’t know how much he actually wants to marry you until he sees you talking with both of his parents at the same time during a dinner at his house - the realization crushing him as soon as he walks back from the bathroom and catches a glimpse of what is going on in the dining room.
you are laughing, wearing your pretty silk dress that he loves so much on you, while his mother is leaning towards you with a satisfied expression as if she just said something incredibly funny. his father is also laughing from the other side of the table - of course he wouldn’t sit next to his ex wife - but keeping himself composed. however, kuroo is pretty sure he had never seen him chuckle in such a long time.
it’s summer and you have just finished planning your wedding, ready to live your life with the man you love and spend with tetsurou the many years left in your life. you have been dating since high school, and he proposed to you last year, after almost one decade of being together. when he told you that both of his parents wanted to meet up with you, the fantastic partner that made their child believe in marriage again, you felt so emotional you almost cried - but then, the sudden realization hit. you knew what your fiancé’s background was and what he had to go through with his parents divorce, so the idea of them meeting you, both of them at the same time, was not thrilling. of course you had already met them separately, and every time you wouldn’t miss the slight remarks they would throw around about how much they couldn’t stand each other - and now, suddenly, they had agreed to come together and discuss some stuff about the wedding with you. kuroo was literally shaking when his father told what they were up to, and it made him realize how fragile he still was. you remember holding him tight that night, promising to never let him go. it took you forever to make him believe in love again, and you for sure were not going to give up anytime soon - probably never. “i’ll make this work, don’t worry” you had promised, a whisper in the night.
and you weren’t lying. sitting there at that chair, in his childhood home, bringing his parents unconsciously together is making his heart flutter. they love you, they love you so much they are able to sit at the same table to talk to you - and even if the begging of the night has been a little stiff, you kept talking and dealing with their personality with a bright smile on your pretty little face. kuroo tetsurou’s brain can’t process and understand how you do it, but you do. they are just sitting there, and you are too. is it real?
he walks back to the table and hugs you from behind, even if your cheeks flush because pda in front of parents is always scary for you - it doesn’t matter that in a month you will finally call him your husband. he sinks his nose in your hair, placing a kiss. “you are wonderful, truly.”
it’s a whisper, but loud enough for everybody in the room to hear it. you mutter something back, blushing and overwhelmed by the feeling of being so deeply loved. he is laughing softly at your reaction, running his slender fingers through you hair. you can’t help but display a lovestruck smile, turning around and kissing his palm. and his parents watch, silently, as their son receives the love he always deserved. no matter the fights, the screams, the hate they felt towards each other; it’s just a moment, a glimpse of something that used to work and now it’s just a memory left somewhere, stuffed under thousands of bad moments that ended up eclipsing the love. they eyes meet in the silence of the room for just one second and there is nothing but gratitude towards one another - thank you for giving me this child. and gratitude towards you, of course, that no matter how deeply their behavior crashed tetsurou’s ideal of love, you came and put all the shattered pieces back where they belonged.
and when your eyes meet your fiancé‘s, he genuinely looks happier than ever. you murmur “i love you” against his skin and he smiles, saying it back with a grin. “i have loved you since the first day, baby, and i can’t wait to marry you.” he says, then kisses your lips so genuinely you almost shiver. every inch of your body is his, and every inch of his is yours - that’s what he’s gonna say during his promises, teary eyes and enchanted smile, but for that sight you’ll have to wait until the wedding. luckily, it’s in less than a month.
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kpopvillage102214 · 1 year
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•°•°•fan meeting•°•°•
Stella's outfit
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Today, we will have our fan- meeting here in seoul and I'm super excited but pretty nervous at the same time.  I had lots of good memories with kind of events but I got  a lot of bad ones. Some fans will give me hate comments or glars at me sometimes but I really don't mind them because of the true carats who support me from the start. 
But there will be times where they will go to far. We are still backstage waiting for our group name to be called out so we decided to have our cheer first. "Our stella will be leading the cheer today" S.Coups announced so me and the members form a circle for our cheer first. Let's do our best today and interacting with the carats whole-heartedly. Seventeen!" "Fighting" we all shouted.
I  suddenly  felt more nervous when the emcee called our group name. I bit  nervously while looking around. A habit of mind when i get nervous. "You ok?"      Someone  hold my hand and I look up to see minhao looking at me with worried visible on his face. "Yea pretty much nervous" I said honestlyI can't lie to Him after all. Hid minghao. He can tell if I'm lied or not. "Don't be. Everything will be fine" he assured and patted my head. I nodded and gave him a small smile. "I hope so..."    I mumbled.
And I thank the staff for giving me a blanket to cover up my legs because I was wearing a skirt. And of course I was wearing shorts underneath my skirt but still they gave my a blanket.
The members entered the state one by one while wavering to the fans. Me and minghao entered together, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. "Say the name! Seventeen! Hello Seventeen imnida!"  We all introduced ourselves one by one and held a short talk with carats with the lead of Booseoksoon. Everything is doing great so far until the fanmeet  started. I'm was sitting between jeonghan and Joshua right now and we're currently vacant because the fan meeting just started. "Unnie! Who is the most handsome member of Seventeen?!" A fan shouted from the audience which caught the other members attention."Guys, don't ask  some obvious question it's me, right Stella?" I  turned to hoshi with a disgusted face "Hoshi-Ah, lying is bad!"  I said which causes the carats laugh"
Everybody is handsome but I have to give it to mingyu" Mingyu suddenly shout out of victory and hugged me which the carats found it adorable. " don't forget my treat later?"  I joked which causes him to giggle. As he kissed my forhead before going back to his seat.
"I think I lost another dongsaeng"      jeonghan suddenly whispered so I turn to him laughing a bit before hugging him. "Don't worry oppa you're the most handsome. Don't tell it to mingyu"he shrugged laugh and pitch my cheek before turning his attention to the carats.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°"
Unnie. I really like your performance with hoshi oppa"         the fan said and sang the song me and hoshi performance during our concert"Wah Daebak!"           I gave her a thumbs up before signing her album"Unnie, who do you want to collaborate among the members?"   She asked
"Hmm maybe Joshua?"   I  said smiling at her and holding her hand. I saw hir controlling her scream which causes me to giggle"Wah I can't wait! Your voice fitted each other!" She squealed. "Thank you! We really appreciate it" I smiled at her and returned to her signed album I have a short conversation with her before she proceed to Joshua.
The carat in front of jeonghan is talking so long so I picked up the mic up and decided to have a conversation with the carats. "Carats are you having fun!?"  I asked and all screamed which made me laugh.
"Stella why are you so pretty!" A male fan shouted which made me chuckle."Don't shout you might hurt you throat" I started slightly worried about his condition" I'm ok as long as I see you"       he shouted again.
I felt shy when the crowd started shouted so I hid on Joshua shoulder which Causes him to laugh "Aww our maknae is shy"~ seungkwan teased which made me shy even more "Hajima~" I whined and started to put my attention to the carat which just finish talking to jeonghan.
I was surprised when she suddenly trow the album towards me angerily. I was shock but good things the members didn't notice it except for Joshua and jeonghan who was sitting between me and seungkwan who was taking to me earlier. I just gave them  a smile and nod not wanting them to get worried. "Hello"         I said hesitant to the fan before slowly returning for the album and then signed her album while smiling because I don't want the other members  and carats to  worry about me. She gave me a glare before getting her album harshly. "Aish! You so annoying!" She gave me a another glare and was about to throw a crumbled paper towards me but Joshua was fast enough to stop her.
"Oppa don't go near  her. She's probably using all of you for fame!"   She stated"No She's not. Stop believing in false rumors." Joshua started calmlyI know Joshua is just controlling his temper. He such a gentleman after all. The girl just rolled her eyes and just stood up angerly  and that when the staff need to handle the situation. The girl suddenly walks out which shocks everyone.
"Are you ok"    jeonghan faced me  and hold my hand with concern. I nodded my head as a response. "Don't mind her okay?"     He said and gave me a smile before patting my head.
Joshua keeps holding my hand under the table. Brushing his thumb on my hand to make me feel better. It's not new to me anyways. Some "fans"  can't still accept me as the as the only girl in the group which makes me feel sad.
The fan meeting continues but I just can't stop feeling uncomfortable and scared that another fan will hate me. I hang my head low and playing with the marker I'm holding.
" Everyone, you know stella is precious to us right?"  Dino suddenly spoke. The atmosphere because sad all of a sudden and I felt bad because the fun atmosphere because sad because of me.
"Yah Dino don't be cheesy!"     I said to brighten up  the mood but Dino just laugh and processed on talking. "She's just precious that when she's sad it makes us sad to." He continues. I look at him and gave him and he gave a smile "So I hope you love her  like how you love all the members because we don't want we don't want to see her  sad" Dino finish his words with the sincere smile which made the crowd cheer for him I suddenly wanted to cry because of his words.
Dino and I have a different age gap but we still get along with each other. I consider him as a brother and a bestfriend  and I know he consider  me as well. "Stella!" S.Coups called  out "Yes?!"  I answered laughing a bit by his excited face "We love you!"      Suddenly all the members gave me a finger heart with some weird faces which causes me to let out a cute little giggle.
I sent them a big heart and thank them "Dino-ah!"   I called him"Yes shortie?"   He answered and I look at him offereded and he just laugh " when did you get so cheesy?" "Awhile ago""Thank you and love u!" I gave  him a smile and a finger heart with a wink which made him cringe causing him to laugh at him
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
The fan meeting went smoothly with people giving me a lots of love thanks to my members. We are now playing with the gifts we received from the fans and some members are taking to the carats though the mic. I'm playing with the bubbles that I received when suddenly a male carat shouted. " Stella noona!do you have a boyfriend yet?!"The carats laugh at my surprise face " No. Do you want to apply?"  I asked back
"Yah! You're still a baby! no boyfriend yet!"    Jeonghan scolded me which cause me to pouted I'm 18 already but he's still treating me like a baby. " you can wait for her after 10 years" Dk said and the members nod in a agreement
"And waeee" I whined stomping my feet which made the carats laugh. "Stella-ah whose baby are you"  jeonghan asked his famous line "No one's"  I said and pouted. The members laugh teasing me more " carats they're teaming up on me!"  But instead of helping me they just continue laugh " your guys are mean" I crossed my arms and gave a glare to hoshi who is currently teasing me "Cute~" Joshua suddenly pinch my cheeks so I turn my attention to him " shua-Ah help me"  I said "Ani" he teased. I gave him a glare before picking up my mic "Carats do you have any house that I can rent in?
I'm planning to move out later"  I joked which made everyone laugh The day went by so fast And the members teasing me and laughters.  I guess this isn't a bad day after all, spending the day with the carats and the members who accepted me whole-heartedly.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°
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Slice of Life Masterlist
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Michael falls in love with his best friend and it feels like being torn apart.
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We Got A Good Thing (ao3) - dafeedil Michael/Calum G, 4k
Summary: And just like that, Calum gets it.
God, of course. Why else would their daughter have come all the way down to their room at a quarter past ten, looking like she’s been trying to work up the courage to do so for hours?
“Holy shit.” Calum grins, practically vibrating with excitement. “Fuck, Mike, she’s going on a date.”
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Or, every time Calum makes a wish on a shooting star, every wish he makes and how his life changes.
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quillsareswords · 2 years
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Damian, minding his business, reading a book or smth idk:
Me you, a connoisseur of drama you're not involved in, speedwalking toward him: strap in bitch u aren't gonna believe the shit I just overheard from kori
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iwadori · 3 years
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So I'm reading your works and I love them !! I was thinking of requesting some kind of drabble or whatever you like, about a female reader who has thick thighs and is somewhat plump and is in love with Tsukishima but he makes a comment about the food and she feels bad and when she meets Bokuto in the boot camp Bokuto is too cute and attentive to her asking for her number and a date. If you don't feel comfortable with this, just ignore it and good luck with your blog. Sorry my english is bad<3
When they make you insecure PT 5 (tsukishima,bokuto)
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Part One Part Two  Part Three Part Four  Part Five Part 6
Word Count: 2.6K
Genre: Angst to Fluff
masterlist
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Tsukishima
You and Tsukishima have been dating in your first year (as you both went to the same middle school together.)
You were in love with Tsukishima, you always have been to be honest, but once you became officially boyfriend and girlfriend your feelings amplified.
But recently, Tsukishima hasn’t been so nice.  
“Y/N we’re going on another training camp at Nekoma” Hinata exclaimed running up to you, as you leaning against Tsukishima “and you get to come too this time!”
You recently became the new trainee manager as the third-year manager, Kikyoko, is going to graduate. Tsukishima acted as if you being around all the time in practice was the worst thing in the world, but Yamagucchi always assured you that ‘Tsukki’ was just joking.
“Oh well that’s fun...” you say entertaining Hinata’s excitement. You were kind of excited to go to the training camp too, as it was in Tokyo after all. You were always a big fan of volleyball as your dad used to play for the national team and you were planning to play on the girls team this year but you felt that you didn’t have the body for it (which was obviously not true.)
Hinata kept on rambling on before Tsukishima insulted him. “Gosh Kei, you don’t have to be so rude.” you complained, he slightly nudged you off of him and put on his headphones showing you that he was not in a good mood.
You let the rest of the practice continue, making notes of things and basically being Kiyoko’s shadow. As it ended, you waited outside for Tsukishima to walk home with you, but one of the guys told you he left 5 minutes ago. You knew there was no point of chasing after him so you just walked on your own, making you sigh in defeat.
Tsukishima was what you would describe as hot and cold. Some days he was fine a ‘perfect gentlemen’ but other days, days like this Tsukishima was just Tsukishima.  
When you got home, you decided to watch matches of all the other schools just to get some insight. You were watching a Fukarodani V Nekoma match from a few years ago and something caught your eye, well someone did to be more specific. A beefy, bicolour haired boy who was hooting like an owl was mesmerizing to watch.
You saw that his name was Bokuto Koutarou which triggered your next actions, which were to internet stalk him. You learned that he was the captain of the team and the team’s ace and the 5th ace in the country which piqued your interest in the boy even more.
‘This is going to be an exciting training camp’ you think to yourself before going to sleep.
`Kiyoko gave you an itinerary of all the things you should bring, since you weren’t going to be joining in any of the matches you were reminded to bring things that would keep entertained.  
You get to the bus at the crack of dawn, ready to be driven to Tokyo. Hinata and Kageyama were already arguing (let’s pretend that they didn’t have to do the retakes in the test) Tanaka and Nishinoya were being loud, and the rest of the members were already asleep. You wanted to sit next to Tsukishima but when you were about to sit down, he put his carryon bag in the seat next to him.
The bus ride was around 4-5 hours, and you spent your time reading and sleeping. Daichi got the loudmouths to calm down making the bus ride more tolerable. You suffered from slight motion sickness but you powered through.
When you arrived there, you saw all the other teams and their buses too. You felt a bit overwhelmed, seeing these tall boys just crowd around an entrance way. But too your surprise, noticing your slight anxiousness, Tsukishima grabbed your hand in a hand-hold.  
The Nekoma coach, explained how the day would pan out and where each team would be residing for the week. There was a lot of commotion getting everyone settled, Hinata and Nishinoya were basically bouncing off of the wall commenting on all the people and the place and how they’re going to ‘crush the competition.’  
You could tell that when the other teams were looking at Karasuno they were all staring at Kiyoko. Inquisitive about how there wasn’t only one girl manager but there was two. As you were walking your eyes locked with Bokuto Koutarou’s making yours widen, you blush and turn your head quickly.  
What you didn’t know was, after your small interaction, Bokuto elbowed Akaashi and said “Akaaashi AKKAAASHI, did ya see that? did ya?” he was flying with happiness “That girl from Karasuno smiled at me. She’s really pretty.”
“I think she’s from Karasuno” Akaashi said “So maybe you’ll see her around”
Bokuto stared off in the direction you were walking in “Yeah, hopefully.”
The first day, everyone got settled in and then the teams went straight into games. There were two different gyms and today, in gym 1, you were watching Karasuno V Nekoma. (By the way I literally don’t remember the teams at the training camp besides Nekoma, Karasuno and Fukarodani.) The game was very back a point each team making point after point, you already knew of Nekoma’s captain, Kuroo Testurou and the setter Kenma, you’ve actually played games with Kenma online before so you were fairly acquainted with him already.
The games ended and it was now dinner time, the canteen was packed with all the boys rushing to line up for the food. You waited at the back of the line, not really caring about when you got your food. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your shoulder and you looked over to see Boktuo,  
“Hi.” he said “I’m Bok-”
“Bokuto Koutarou!” You finished “I'm a big fan..” you cringed immediately at your excitement ‘pull it together Y/N’ you scold yourself.
“Oh well hi, I’m glad you know who I am” he said “and may I ask for your name?”  
“Oh I’m Y/N L/N” you say with a slight blush “I'm the trainee manager from Karasuno.”  
“Cool! Well I hope to see you aro-” he starts  
“Y/N, I’ve been looking all over for you, I already got your food for you.” Tsukishima said pulling at your arm a bit harshly, dragging you over to a table with the Karasuno team.
“Gosh Tsukki, no need to be so harsh” you say rubbing at your wrist, he didn’t apologize and just started eating his food.  
You look down at your plate and see the small portion that Tsukki got for you. The Karasuno bunch was being loud, as they usually are, so when you whisper “Tsukki what the fuck is this” whilst nudging him in the side, he didn’t hear you (or atleast he pretended he didn’t.) You tried again but a little louder saying, “Tsukishima what the fuck is this.” you realised you said it a bit too loud as the whole Karasuno table stopped their conversations to look over at the slight commontion you caused.
“What do you mean Y/N?” he said with a slight smirk on his face.
“I mean what’s with the portion size of a bird that you gave me?” you ask getting upset “Do you really think im that big?”
“Well, you could start eating less that’s for sure.” he said earning gasps from you and some of the people sitting at the table “Y/N let's face it, you eat like a pig and you look like an elephant, me making your food portion smaller is the least I could do.”  
By now you had tears in your eyes, Tsukishima was a dick. You knew this, everybody knew this to be honest, yet you still loved him. He wasn’t like this in middle school, yes he was a bit snarky and rude (but wasn’t every middle schooler?) High school Tsukishima was like a completely different person. As much as you wanted to run away and hide, you knew you couldn’t.  
So you stood up and said “Tsukishima, I’ve spent 3 years loving and pining after you, because I thought you were this great guy, but turns out you’re a huge asshole” you start making some of the people listening in smile in laughter “Tsukishima, I’ve hated this past year dating you, you’ve been such a huge dick and I’m finally stopping you. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t.” You start making your way to exit before finally saying “Oh and by the way I’m not the pig here, you are... oh and I’m breaking up with you.” You left, hearing a few laughs and some claps behind you.
You felt relieved, like the massive cloud that’s been over your head is finally gone. You went to the gym since you knew it was empty and picked up a ball to just throw it around a bit. After a while of ‘de-stressing,’ you hear someone else enter the gym.
“Oh I didn’t know you’d be here.” said Bokuto  
“Well here I am,” you say awkwardly “I can leave if you want me too, I know this is for actual volleyball players.”
“No no it’s fine you can definitely stay, in fact do you mind setting for me?” he asks  
“Sure, of course I don’t mind” you reply, excited you get to play with someone.  You haven’t played in ages, you always begged Tsukishima to just throw a ball around with you but he never did.  
You set to Boktuo a lot, with him always asking for ‘another one’ everytime he spiked the ball. Eventually, you were tired of setting and wanted to spike. You originally was a spiker to begin with taking after your dad. Thats why you took a liking to Bokuto in the first place cause he reminded you of the joys you had when watching your father play.
Bokuto set a ball to you and you spiked it with great strength and accuracy smiling at the burning feeling you felt in your palm.  
“Woahh” Bokuto shouted going towards you in amazement “Where did you learn how to spike like that?”
“From my dad, I don’t know if you heard of him before but my dad’s name is D/N L/N...?” you say
“D/N L/N, Y/N he is my idol!” he shouted again “I want to be just like him.”
“I think you can, I see a lot of similarites in the way you both play.” you say
“Really! And you’ve seen me play before..?” he asks
“Yeah, I watched some of your games before coming here... you’re really good” you shyly admit.
“Wow.”
You and Bokuto spend the rest of your time, talking about volleyball you’re interests, things you have in common, your likes and dislikes. Talking to Bokuto was refreshing, he didn’t randomly insult you or make snide comments about your weight or your looks. He just genuinely looked happy to be there talking to you, unlike Tsukishima.  
Seeing your change in mood, Bokuto stops talking and asks “are you alright? I forgot to ask earlier, but I saw what happened in the canteen and I hope you’re okay.”  
“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just things with me and Tsukishima reached a breaking point, I guess...” you say sniffling a bit talking about it “But it’s fine now I’ve broken up with him and I feel better already.”
“So you’re saying your single...?” he asked blushing a bit
“Yeah I guess I am...” you smile blushing also.  
“Okay great...well I hope this isn’t too forward after everything happened with Tsukki and all but...” he starts “but would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Who me?” you ask as if you weren’t the only other person in the room
“No the volleyball” he responds sarcastically “Of course you Y/N.”  
“Are you sure, cause to be honest Bokuto you’re a really good-looking guy” you say making him smile widely “so I think you need someone to match your level in attractiveness” you look down and his smile drops.
“What do you mean?” he asks before realising all the stuff Tsukishima said about you “Y/N you’re beautiful, your face, your body just you.” you blush at his words “when I first saw you when you were walking past us in the entrance way the first thing I thought and said about you was “Akaashi who is that girl she’s beautiful.””  
“Really?” you ask with disbelief
“Mhm” he nods excitedly “So will you go on a date with me?”  
“I guess so...” you say a bit unsure
“HEY HEY HEY!” he exclaims “I gotta go tell akaashi!” he runs out of the gym in a hurry making you laugh, but he comes back to give you a quick unexpected kiss on the cheek making you smile.
You checked your phone for the time realising that you’ve been with Bokuto for 3 hours and you knew that everyone would be going to sleep now. As you are the manager you slept seperately from the rest of the team but before you went to your sleeping quaters you went to Karasunos.  
“Y/N where have you been? We’ve been worried about you.” asked yammagucchi  
“It’s fine yams don’t worry about it, guys” you say catching everyones attention “I just wanted to apologise to you for my outburst at dinner, it wasn’t my intention to cause a scence.”
“It’s fine Y/N” said sugawara “He definitely deserved it.”
“Yeah as your marvellous senpai we gave him a good telling off” said Tanaka and Nishinoya  making you chuckle.  
“Okay well thanks guys, I’m going to sleep goodnight.”
“Wait Y/N can I speak with you.” asked Tsukishima gesturing to outside the room
“Umm sure” you respond following him into the corridor.
���I just want to say I’m sorry for the things I’ve said and done over the past year and how I’ve been a terrible boyfriend, you don’t deserve that. So, I’m sorry.”  
“I can’t say I can forgive you yet.” you say making Tsukishima look sad “but maybe with effort from you we can become friends possibly?”  
“Just friends?” he said with hope in voice thinking that you could be something more.
“Just friends.” you repeated and confirmed “Besides I have been asked on a date”  
“With who?”  
“None of your business stingyshima” you mock the nickname that Hinata calls him making him scowl and you smile “Goodnight.”
After Bokuto’s confession and Tsukishima’s apology, the rest of the training camp went off without a hitch. In your breaks and lunchtimes, you got to know more about Bokuto and with Kuroo’s help you even got to sneak out to actually go on your date. You sometimes even went to practice with them getting to show off your skills, with Bokuto cheering you on and complimenting you every single time.  
Tsukishima kept his distance for the most part, and kept the snarky comments about you and Bokuto to himself (even though he was dying to say them.) You eventually fully forgave Tsukishima in your 3rd year but you definitely weren’t as close as you used to be. Tsukishima’s comments and actions did affect you for a while however with the help of your loving boyfriend, you were reminded how beautiful you are no matter what weight, shape or height you were.
You and Bokuto stayed together, you made sure to come to every one of his games and when you introduced him to your dad he fainted on sight. Your dad and Bokuto got along, and became very close friends, Bokuto always came to him for advice (especially volleyball advice.) You loved Bokuto and he definitely loved you too.
AN: I hope you liked it, since I didn’t want to make it too similar too the Atsumu insecure one. And I feel like it dragged out a bit but got rushed in the endd....but oh well...
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haadeswrites · 3 years
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Elysium
god this fic took forever i’m so sorry!! but hey, first fic on the new blog! <33 also y’all should really thank @iwaasfairy who listened to me complain about this fic for a solid month, she’s the reason it got finished
Cult leader Oikawa Tooru x female reader
tw: indoctrination, extremely dubious consent, blood, yandere themes, religious themes, minor character death, implied abuse & drug use, mild smut, nsfw
The island itself is breathtaking
Pristine beaches with gleaming white sand, vast swathes of lush, green rainforest and waterfalls that cascade into shimmering pools of crystal clear water. Untouched, undisturbed; a paradise. At least, that’s how Ryuji had described it. 
Paradise, but only in the sense that a gingerbread cottage in the middle of the woods is paradise to a lost and hungry child. 
He hadn’t been wrong. Bare feet sink into soft, white sand as you climb from the boat - the warmth just toeing the line between pleasant and burning. Gentle waves ebb and flow behind you, and there’s a light breeze that kisses your skin, the taste of seasalt carrying in the wind. Home, it seems to sing.
A laugh sounds somewhere in the distance, yet the only other figure on the beach is a man walking steadily towards you. He smiles when he sees you’ve noticed him; friendly, non-threatening. It’s a far cry from the swarming welcoming committee you’d been dreading, and you wonder if that’s somehow intentional as well. 
As the boat pushes back out to sea he comes to a stop before you, “I’m Makki,” he says, pushing the fringe of his hair back and giving you a not-so-subtle once over. Whatever he sees must meet approval, because his grin only widens, “Welcome to the Commune.”
Ryuji wasn’t wrong; the island is a beautiful, deadly thing.
You’d never heard of the Commune before the phone call. 
And maybe that shouldn’t be so surprising. You’ll be the first to admit you’re hardly an expert, but from what you do know, groups like the Commune – cults – don’t spring up out of thin air and start broadcasting their mistreatment and systematic abuse. 
They’re not the kind of people that have sweet old ladies clutching their pearls and mothers shepherding their children away – at least, not in the beginning. Not entirely. They’re not out to recruit extremists to further their cause, they choose to prey on the vulnerable, the lost and the disillusioned. Those easily manipulated. You suspect that’s why when you google the Commune, all you find is a website for what essentially looks like a long term luxury wellness retreat.
‘The Commune is about healing and harmony, about returning to nature, supporting one another to forge a brighter, more holistic future together… a self-sufficient community living apart from technology and other evils of modern society.’ 
You fight the urge to roll your eyes as you scroll through. There’s a whisper of philosophical teachings woven throughout, a page dedicated to their founder, Oikawa Tooru – smiling handsomely in every single picture, because what would a burgeoning cult be without a charismatic leader – but there’s not enough.
So here you are, on an island hundreds of miles away from home living amongst strangers; because Ryuji wouldn’t have sounded so terrified if this was just some alternate, free-loving bunch of hippies.
And even with all that he’d told you, everything you thought you’d be prepared for, the Commune is like nothing you could’ve imagined. 
Makki introduces you to Asuka, a woman only a few years older than yourself, dark haired and stunningly beautiful, and winks as he tells her to take you under her wing. She smiles brightly, eyes twinkling, and pulls you into a heartfelt hug – as if you’ve known each other your whole lives.
“We’re so glad you’re here!” she beams.
You’d like to hate her. 
It feels like you're supposed to, sometimes; when she gets that dreamy look in her eyes and starts talking about Oikawa and the Commune and how lucky everyone here on the island is. Yet there’s something about her – the genuine warmth she emanates maybe, or the kindness in her eyes – that makes it difficult for you not to like her.
“You should come to the gathering tomorrow,” she hums idly one afternoon, maybe a week or so after your arrival. The two of you are sitting on the edge of the pier, legs dangling down into the water, tangled fishing nets to be repaired strewn between you.
“I always go,” you reply.
She laughs, fixing you with a knowing look, “And sit right at the very back, all but running off the moment we finish?” 
And your traitorous heart skips a beat. 
“It’s okay to take things slowly,” she says. “We understand that being a part of the Commune is a big change from the life you knew, and that not everybody is able to see what we see and embrace those changes.” 
Asuka sets down the knot she’s working through and reaches for your hand, a gentle smile on her face, “But you shouldn’t be afraid. You’re meant to be here, I can feel it. You just need to stop fighting against it; surrender yourself to us, to the island, and everything’ll make sense, I promise.”
It’s dangerous territory. One wrong word could set off alarm bells, yet you can’t help pressing just a little.
“Do you ever miss it, then? Life outside the Commune?” 
Your family. Friends. The life you left behind before you came here to be brainwashed like all of the others.
“Why would I?” she answers without missing a beat, and it’s hard to ignore the bitter flicker of disappointment you feel at her answer. “The island provides for us, we don’t have to spend our days selling off tiny pieces of ourselves just to make ends meet. It’s paradise here, and we have Oikawa to thank for that. Why would I ever want to go back?”
Silence falls between you as you struggle to think of something to say to salvage the situation. Yet Asuka isn’t even looking at you, instead staring out at the water with a strangely pensive expression. 
“Did you know I was married once?” The words seemingly out of the blue, you can only shake your head. For a moment, she doesn’t reply, watching as the waves rise and crash offshore. And then;
“I was young, eighteen or so, fresh out of high school and he was a small town cop.” Her eyes flicker to yours, and your heart clenches at the sadness and pain echoing there. “I thought he was a good man, once upon a time.”
A chord strikes deep, your chest tightening involuntarily at her words. It’s not the same, of course it’s not the same, and yet… 
No. You stop the errant thought in its tracks. Groups like the Commune prey on the vulnerable, you know this. People like Ryuji, like Asuka, like–
Her fingers squeeze around yours, pulling you back to the present. “Come to the gathering tomorrow. Listen to Oikawa, it’ll help.”
She doesn’t give you a choice in the matter – dragging you by the hand to sit right at the front of the gathered crowd that very night.
Oikawa’s handsomer up close; tall and dark haired with pretty eyes and long, sweeping lashes that frame delicate cheekbones, it’s not hard for you to see how a man like him has amassed such an impassioned following. 
Once he starts actually speaking, however, you realise that his good looks and charming smile are just the tip of the iceberg. Oikawa’s utterly captivating as he preaches about the cycle of life and death and the paradise that awaits his faithful. Passionate and engaging, he speaks like he truly believes every word of the lies he’s spreading. 
And Asuka, her friends, the others gathered, they eat up every word like it’s gospel truth, resounding cheers and thunderous applause deafening around you. In the midst of the rapturous din, Oikawa’s eyes flit to yours.
Slowly, he smiles – a dazzling grin that makes your stomach flip – and everything; Asuka, the noise, the others swarming around you, it all fades away.
For one electrifying heartbeat, you’re frozen in place. Just you and Oikawa, trapped in the pull of each other’s gaze.
You can’t forget the reason you came.
But it’s… difficult, in a way you struggle to understand. You only have one purpose for being here, one goal; find Ryuji and bring him home. 
And yet, some days it’s like there’s a fog in your mind, and you have to focus to remember why you’re here at all. You catch yourself laughing with Asuka and her friends, the days passing by in a blur of endless, easy distractions. 
It barely feels like work when you’re sitting under the shade of the trees, eating the fruits you’ve picked by hand – ripe and sweet, unlike anything you’ve ever tasted – diving off waterfalls into the crystalline water and meandering down the shore collecting seashells. Even when you are working, mending clothes or cooking with the others, it fills you with a sense of contentment you can’t quite explain. 
Like you’re a part of something bigger. Like you’re doing something that matters.
Ryuji becomes a distant thought. A whisper in the back of your head, a niggling in your gut, easily brushed aside and ignored until there’s a moment of quiet. In the dead of night, the balmy summer night’s breeze kissing your bare skin, you lie awake, lost in memories of the last time you’d seen him. 
Fists angrily pounding at your door, the yelling that gave way to sobs and the hoarse, desperate pleas that followed. Ryuji’s face; pupils blown wide and eyes rimmed in red, darting restlessly around as he held you too tight and begged–
Rolling over in bed, you gaze out your window at the star flecked sky, the shadows of the forest that lie at your doorstep, and wonder what it is that scares you more; that you’ve lost track of the days you’ve been here, and saving Ryuji is starting to feel like an afterthought, or that you could so easily forget all of it, find a place here in the Commune and be happy.
‘The island, it–it fucks with your head.’
Ryuji’d told you that, and you’d brushed it off as paranoia. You need to find him. Find him and get the hell outta dodge.
You can deal with the fallout later.
Kiyoshi. 
He’d mentioned the name a few times amidst his rambling – a friend of his on the island. You’re annoyed with yourself for not thinking of it sooner, however much like Ryuji himself, trying to focus and remember the name is like wading through thick mud.
Once you do, though, finding him amongst the hundred and fifty or so inhabitants is the easy part. 
There’s no strict division between genders within the Commune, however Kyoshi, despite his somewhat lean stature, is among the builders of the island and his path doesn’t often cross with yours. 
From Asuka you find out that he’s been a part of the Commune for years now, before even she joined, and that he mostly sticks to himself, though you’ve seen him chatting quietly to a few of the other men, a perpetually angry looking blonde in particular.
It’s the last part that piques her interest, “Why’re you so curious, anyway?” she asks, her face lighting up as a sudden thought occurs. “Do you want me to introduce you two? To be honest, I didn’t think he’d be your type, if you’re interested, though…”
Cheeks aflame, you’re quick to shut her down. “No, no, nothing like that. I’ve just… seen him around and we’ve never really spoken, I guess.”
A lame excuse, though mercifully she lets the subject drop without too much prodding.
Therein, of course, lies the problem. Walking up to Kyoshi and casually trying to drop Ryuji into the conversation without raising red flags is risky, but what other options do you have? You’ve already spent too much time on this island.
Although, maybe Asuka has the right idea. 
While you hadn’t been lying when you said you weren’t interested in Kyoshi in that way, nobody else knew that. Who would really look twice at the shy newbie striking up a conversation with the quiet, easygoing man? He wasn’t unattractive per se, and from the brief interactions you’d seen of him, he seemed kind enough.
You have enough patience (barely) to wait for dusk the following night. There’s a celebration, something about the full moon and a blessing on the island and the Commune– you hadn’t really been paying attention when Oikawa had spoken about it. Still, it’s too good an opportunity to pass up. With the fire pits crackling, and the dancing and music and the sweet honey wine flowing freely, nobody will be paying too much attention to what you’ll be doing. Hopefully, the alcohol will also serve to lower Kiyoshi’s guard, and perhaps if you’re really, really lucky, loosen his tongue as well. 
Of course, you’re not banking on him telling you exactly where Ryu is or what happened to him– and that’s assuming he actually knows – but at this point you’ll take anything over the nothing you currently have. A tiny slip up, that’s all you’re asking for. 
As the sun descends beyond the horizon, you play your role well, laughing and chatting amongst friends, sipping carefully at the cup of wine in your hand as you wait for an opening. And perhaps it’s your nerves working against you, but you find that it’s not just Kiyoshi your attention is drawn to. 
Up on the shore, away from the rabble, Oikawa lounges back with a cup of the same honeyed wine you’re pretending to drink. For the most part he seems deep in conversation with Iwaizumi, his right hand, but every once in a while he glances up, letting his gaze roam over the crowd of his followers.
Every inch a king and his general.
And it would seem benevolent, if not for the strange smile he wears – the one that widens when his eyes catch yours.
Swallowing tightly, you force yourself not to dwell on it, to ignore the odd sensation curling in your gut and the way your skin prickles under his attention. Now is not the time to lose focus.
Pushing all thoughts of Oikawa aside, you subtly scan the beach once more, only to find that Kiyoshi’s moved, sitting now on a piece of old driftwood near the bonfire. Alone for the first time tonight. 
Your legs are moving before the thought even fully registers. 
“Do you mind if I sit?” you ask, gesturing to the empty space on the log beside him. 
Kiyoshi smiles, the laugh lines at corners of his eyes crinkling pleasantly, and shakes his head, “Not at all.”
“Thanks.”
Taking another sip of your wine, you will your shoulders to relax, your racing pulse to slow. This has to seem natural, and so you force yourself to hold your tongue, let your head loll back and breathe deep, soaking it all in. You can hear the others in the distance, the music and the dancing, the happy laughter and shouts that beckon – you want to go join them. Even your blood seems to hum, a call of something other pulsing through your veins.
But you pay it no mind. There are more important things to worry about tonight. 
Indeed, steel blue eyes have been appraising you curiously for a while now. “This is your first Lunar blessing, isn’t it?” Kiyoshi asks after a moment.
You nod, humming in agreement. Less than a month; you’ve been here less than a month. Is that a good thing?
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
A harmless enough question, and again you nod your head. “Yeah, it’s…” you pause, searching for words that won’t sound hollow. “It’s paradise. I feel like I need to pinch myself just to make sure it’s real.”
He smiles gently. “But?” he probes.
Grimly, you wonder whether Kiyoshi’s usually this perceptive, or if you’re just a really terrible actor. In a way, you suppose it really doesn’t make a difference; you’ve come too far to turn back now – at least not without raising suspicion. 
So you lie with a truth, and pray that it works.
“I had a friend I was supposed to meet here,” you confess quietly, gazing not at him but the crackling flames of the bonfire, the burning embers carried off into the night. “He was the one who said I should come, but now I’m here and he’s not and every time I catch myself enjoying this–”
“You feel guilty,” he surmises, cutting you off. “Because he’s not here to enjoy it with you.”
Wordlessly, you nod – and maybe it isn’t so much of an act when your eyes begin to glisten, your smile wavering. 
Kiyoshi’s silent for a moment, and you take another sip of the honey wine to hide your nerves. “You shouldn’t, you know,” he says eventually. “Feel guilty, I mean. You belong here, with the Commune. You’re happy here. Paradise… isn’t for everybody.”
He doesn’t say it to be cruel, more like he’s simply stating a fact, and somehow that makes it all the more unnerving. And it’s nothing you haven’t listened to Oikawa preach about time and time again. The Commune is for the devoted, the faithful – the lucky few – and you’ve never thought too hard about what he’d meant by that.
The Commune’s small, maybe a hundred and fifty or so people on the island. There’d been no initiation, no test of faith or trial period you’d had to pass when you arrived – at least, none that you’d been aware of. You simply stepped off the boat and they’d welcomed you with open arms. 
An uneasy sensation settles into your gut, goosebumps prickling at your skin despite the heat of the midsummer night. 
That… doesn’t make sense. It can’t. Absolute control’s too important in groups like this, they couldn’t just let anyone–
Kiyoshi speaks again, his calm voice pulling you from your thoughts. “What was his name?” 
You blink at him slowly – stupidly. “Sorry?”
“Your friend,” he clarifies. “What was his name?”
“Oh, um- Ryuji.”
Kiyoshi’s brow furrows in thought for a moment, but he merely shakes his head, “Doesn’t ring a bell, but like I said, not everyone who arrives stays with us for long.”
He looks you right in the eye as he says it.
You don’t understand the cold, foreboding that seeps through your veins, because he’s lying. He has to be. 
Ryuji was here. They were friends, Ryu’d told you that–
Why did you think this stupid plan would work anyway? That he’d tell you anything, much less the truth when this whole fucked up island is full of liars and those too indoctrinated to know the difference?
“You alright?” he asks when abruptly, you shoot to your feet beside him.
And it takes every ounce of willpower you have left to force an easy smile to your lips, raising your cup just a fraction, “Yeah, just gonna go get a refill. Thanks for the talk, Kiyoshi.”
Whether he notices that your wine’s barely touched or not, you don’t care – not as you turn on your heel without another word and head back up the beach. 
Your head is pounding, your body trembling – you don’t hear the call of your name until a hand reaches out and grasps at your wrist, spinning you around.
Asuka greets you with a wide grin, Makki and a tall, broad shouldered man you think is called Mattsun standing either side of her – the former’s arm slung casually over her shoulder. “There you are! I’ve been looking for you,” she says. “Come on, we’re gonna go swimming, it’s so pretty out there!”
You glance out towards the ocean. Moonlight bathes the inky blue water, light shimmering off the rippling tide; some of the others are already out there, splashing amongst the waves. 
“Clothing optional, of course,” Makki laughs, and Asuka tugs on your wrist once more. 
“C’mon, it’ll be fun!”
But you shake your head, slowly pulling your hand from her grip, “I’m not feeling great, I think I’m gonna head back.”
Asuka frowns, concern marring her pretty features. “Are you okay? Do you need us to call Mizo–”
“No,” you say, cutting her off. Healer Mizoguchi is the last person you need to see right now. “I just– I just need to go lie down for a bit. You guys go have fun – enjoy the blessing, I’ll be fine.”
Makki and Asuka share a fleeting look, but it’s Mattsun who interjects before either one of them can speak, “I’ll walk you back, then.”
Your stomach churns. It doesn’t sound like a suggestion.
And the smart thing to do would be to accept his help; the walk from the beach to your villa isn’t far, and while you’re not as familiar with Mattsun as you are with Makki or Asuka, it’s not like he’s going to hurt you or anything, but–
“Really– you don’t need to, it’s fine,” you smile weakly, shuffling back as he reaches to offer you his arm. “Go swim, I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
Mattsun shrugs easily enough, falling back into line with the other two – yet there’s something in the way he grins and holds your gaze for a beat longer. A glimmer of amusement, as if there’s some joke you're not a part of. “I’ll hold you to it, sweetheart.”
The heat that floods your cheeks clashes uncomfortably with the cloying heaviness in your stomach, but somehow you manage to stutter out one last goodbye before turning back to scamper off in the direction of your room.
–But not to lie down.
There’s not a cloud in the sky, and the full moon’s bright. No need for a torch, not unless you decide to venture into the heart of the forest.
You’ve been a fool. Kiyoshi, Asuka, Makki, Mattsun; you can’t trust any of them to help you, even unwittingly. Ryuji’s here on the island – somewhere – and every second that slips away, every second that you allow yourself to forget puts him in further danger.
And so you cling to your discomfort, ground yourself in it. The prickling sensation at the back of your neck, the tightness in your chest as you slip past your villa, keeping low and quiet – they’re a reminder that there is something insidious here on the island, that you have to get out.
You and Ryuji.
He’s here. Away from the others, kept under lock and key as punishment, or maybe being forced to undergo whatever kind of glorified brainwashing they’ve got going on, but here. You need to be smart about this, because while you don’t intend to stop until you find him, tonight will be your best shot – while everyone’s distracted down on the beach. 
For the first time in a long time, it feels like you have a clear head. 
Creeping through the underbrush, you steer clear of the well trod pathways that lead towards habitation. You’ve been there, and to the docks, and the river. 
If they’re still keeping him here (and they are, you refuse to entertain the possibility that it could be otherwise) then it’s not somewhere out in the open. A bird cries out in the distance shattering the calm of the night, and you flinch – but it only serves as another reminder that your time tonight is limited; you cannot afford to delay. You wrack your brain, trying to dredge up memories of the last few weeks, surely you must have seen something–
“Lost?”
The single word, spoken in a deep, gruff voice has your blood running cold.
Slowly, you turn. 
Iwa stands behind you in the thicket, his face utterly impassive. Briefly, you contemplate whether it’s worth trying to bluff your way out of this, but Iwa’s eyes narrow, flashing in the dim light and you think better of it.
A sigh escapes you, your shoulders deflating. “Where is he– Ryuji?” you ask; a whisper rather than a demand.
Iwa’s expression gives nothing away. Did he know, or have you handed him the smoking gun of a crime that’d fallen through the cracks? Does it even matter anymore? You’re just–
You’re tired. 
Exhausted. In the space of a few moments all of that shining determination and resolve; it fled, leaving a gaping hole in its wake. This has to end, you can’t keep fighting against them forever. You can’t keep drowning in this guilt, feeling torn every second that you spend here on this stupid island. You just want to find Ryuji and go home.
… Right?
A tense beat passes as Iwa appraises you, and then; “Come with me.”
The hand he places on your shoulder doesn’t give you much choice. His grip isn’t what you’d describe as gentle, yet he’s careful enough to make sure you don’t trip or stumble as he marches you north. 
In the thick of the forest away from the beach, it’s eerily quiet. Every twig that snaps underfoot, every ragged breath you draw; it feels too loud. Out of place amongst the stillness of the midsummer night. 
And isn’t it ironic, that for the first time since you set foot in this paradise, you feel like you’re trespassing?
A bead of sweat trickles down from your temple and your mind unwittingly drifts back to Mattsun and Makki. Are they still swimming with Asuka? Probably, you reason. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly how long it’s been since you left them on the beach, but surely no more than an hour.
And strangely, like water drawn from the depths of a well, an image comes to mind; the four of you standing in the waves, you perched atop Mattsun’s shoulders, screaming and giggling in delight as Asuka tries to knock you down again, two sets of eyes watching from the shore… 
You should have stayed on the beach.
“Can I ask you something?” 
“You can ask,” he replies drily – humouring you, you suppose.
Your lips quirk upwards for the briefest of moments. “What happens on the Lunar blessing? Asuka, the others– no one told me what it was.” 
Iwaizumi doesn’t answer you immediately, but you feel his fingers reflexively tighten on your shoulder. Likely it wasn’t the question he was expecting; surely there were others that you could have asked – but you don’t really want the answers to those.
If you’re being led like a lamb to proverbial slaughter, what good would it do you to know it? 
And yet as the seconds pass and no answer seems forthcoming from your captor, you resign yourself to the fact that your curiosity will remain unsated. You don’t even know what prompted you to ask in the first place; knowing Oikawa it’s probably some grand, meaningless spectacle. Pretty, hollow words spoken only to–
A heavy sigh draws you from your thoughts, and you falter in your step, almost tripping over your own feet in the process. Iwa’s quick to right you, urging you forward with a less than gentle nudge. “Walk straight,” he grunts, yet it lacks any true heat. Anticipation flutters through your veins, and he mutters a soft curse behind you. “Fine. It… it’s an exchange.” 
An exchange? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Your eyebrows draw together, mouth opening to press the matter, but Iwa beats you to the punch.
“You’ll find out for yourself soon enough, now shut up.”
You have no response to that, so you do.
The two of you walk in silence for what feels like hours. Eventually, the terrain becomes steeper, the worn path you’re treading twisting and winding, and you realise you must be close to the mountains at the heart of the island. 
As your breath comes in heavy pants, your legs beginning to ache, you can’t help but be lost in the beauty of it all.
The flora’s different here, unlike any you’ve seen before. Flowers bursting from the bark of towering trees, blooms of vibrant hues; reds and purples and soft, baby pinks. Even the vines at your feet curl amongst pretty white buds that gleam invitingly under the moonlight. Your jaw falls open as you gaze around in wonderment. 
You forget why you’re walking, where it is that you’re heading. Iwa’s grip relaxes as a quiet gasp escapes you, and he doesn’t stop you when you stray from the path to take a closer look. You can’t resist reaching out to touch the silken petals, leaning in to smell their perfume. Soft and light and sweet, your eyes flutter shut, a smile creeping across your visage. 
It reminds you of home. Not your actual home – the rundown, tiny shoebox apartment you gave up before you came here – but something deeper.
Home, like the long summer days spent playing in your parents’ backyard. Home, like afternoons curled up by the window, watching the rain come down in sheets outside. 
Home, like the comfort of arms wrapped around you; two hearts beating in sync.
“C’mon,” Iwa interrupts after a minute or so, his voice a touch less gruff. “We’re almost there.”
Dazed, you find yourself nodding, allowing him to guide you back to the path. This time, he doesn’t grab you by the shoulder, seemingly content enough to walk by your side. 
True to his word, it’s only another few minutes before you see it; a wooden villa, four times the size of your own and far, far grander, set amongst a clearing of trees on the mountainside. Confused, your eyes flicker from the villa to Iwa and back again. Gossamer curtains billow lightly in the breeze, a warm, inviting glow spilling from the open windows. Surely this cannot be where he meant to lead you… and yet he merely stands at your side, arms folded across his broad chest, watching you expectantly. 
“You gonna make me carry you up there?” he asks, not unkindly.
Swallowing tightly, you shake your head. 
Another glance, and you catch a shadow lingering by the window. Your heart skips a beat, apprehension curling in your gut as you begin to walk, every step feels less steady than the last. You’re almost glad when Iwa takes you by the arm; if only so that you have something to focus on other than the growing tightness in your chest. The villa, with its pretty flowers and airy, elegant grandeur is far from the isolated cell you’d been afraid of, yet the uncertainty of what you’re walking into eats at you all the same.
Is this where they’ve been keeping Ryu, or has he brought you here for another reason?
Nothing, however, can prepare you for what you find inside. Warm light emanates from lanterns that bathe the room, and your eyes widen as you stare around you.
Strange, gold carvings inlaid with mother of pearl decorate the thick, woodens support beams, a pot of incense burns on a table overflowing with fresh fruit. There’s a jug of the same honeyed wine you’d drank earlier in the night and two cups set on an ornate stand nearby – just within arms reach of one of the chaise lounges.
Iwa affords you little time to gape, drawing you further in. Silken tapestries hang from the walls – you’re pulled along too quickly to truly take note, but the brief glimpses you get hint at a story; a divine being cast from his home, lost and wandering.
It tugs at something buried within you, and uncomfortable, you tear your eyes away.
The two of you reach a closed door at the end of the hall, and Iwa pulls you to a stop, knocking once.
“Come,” a familiar voice calls.
You stiffen, though perhaps you should have foreseen this outcome. Who else would Iwa bring you to but to him? Distantly, you register his grip relaxing, the sound of the door sweeping open and his voice at your ear.
“Go on.”
And it’s funny, you think, how two halves of yourself can be so at odds with each other. Because while your stomach twists itself into knots, goosebumps prickling at your skin, your legs stumble forward of their own accord.
Two steps forward, and your breath catches in your throat.
It’s a bedroom, that much you can deduce from the decor, but that’s not what captures your attention. Nor is it Oikawa, leaning against the bureau with a genial smile – at least not at first. 
No. In place of a back wall, there’s open space, not so much as a panel of glass obstructing the view before you. And what a view it is; from this height you can see the sprawling forest below, the coastline dotted with bonfires and the moonlit ocean shimmering beyond. Where the floorboards end, there are steps, you realise as you unwittingly inch closer, leading to a cascading spring – likely fed from the waterfall you can hear rushing nearby.
How easy it would be to brush aside your worries, you think, to shed your clothes, slip into the cool, calm water and lose yourself entirely. Even amongst all you’ve seen and experienced on the island so far, this is incomparable. 
“Stunning, isn’t it?” Oikawa murmurs, coming up behind you.
His voice startles you, yet when you turn, you find him not gazing out at the scenery but rather at you, that same strange, knowing smile curling at his lips.
“Some days, I admit, it’s hard to tear myself away,” he continues, unbothered by your stunned silence. “But even I can’t neglect my duties for too long.”
You swallow, tongue darting out to wet your lips. Confusion twists through you at the conversational tone, surely he hasn’t brought you here just to chat about the impressive views, yet there’s no hint of disapproval on his face, no indication that he’s anything less than pleased with you.
It’s unnerving to say the least, but you’ll play along with his game if that’s what Oikawa wants.
���Beautiful,” you say, though the words feel woefully inadequate even as you speak them.
He hums in agreement, something akin to pride flickers in his eyes at your assessment, “A labour of love, I suppose. But… everything you see here, everything I’ve built, it comes with a price. You understand that, don’t you?”
“I-I’m sorry?” you stutter.
“Paradise,” he elaborates, his smile widening. “There’s no give without take. Those people down there,” he nods down at the beach, the tiny, ant-like figures still milling about, “the lost, the beaten, the abused – I gave them what they so desperately sought; a sanctuary. A life without struggle, without suffering.” He pauses for a moment, reaching forward to take your hand. You almost flinch, almost skitter across the room to put as much distance between you as you can, but you don’t–
His palm is warm as it envelops yours, a pleasant heat that seems to spread through your veins, easing your tense muscles. There’s nothing to fear from him, you’re safe with Oikawa.
“Aren’t you happy here?”
Yes.
“What about the price?” you ask instead, though it takes more concentration than it should to force the words out. 
Oikawa’s thumb sweeps along the back of your hand. “I never said it was your price to pay,” he soothes. 
There’s something wrong with that sentence, but another sharp knock at the door draws your attention before you can think too hard about it. You turn out of instinct, barely aware of the way his hand tightens fractionally around your own.  
A single finger at your jaw coaxes your attention back to him. “If you built a paradise, wouldn’t you give whatever necessary to ensure it flourished?”
Oikawa stares at you expectantly, deep brown eyes searching your face as he waits for an answer. Agreement would be the logical choice – the one he seems to want from you – but even as your lips part, the only sound that escapes is a breathless, confused noise. 
When you were a kid, maybe six or seven, your parents took you to the beach one day and you waded too far out into the water. The waves were bigger than you expected; all it took was one mistimed jump and you were dragged under.
It wasn’t for long, probably only seconds, and ultimately you were fine – but you remember those few seconds so vividly. The feeling of helplessly tumbling through the water, fighting to break the surface but not knowing which way was up. Your lungs crying out for oxygen, the disorientation and dizziness, the panic.
It feels like that now – like the floor’s dropped out from beneath you and you’re just hurtling through empty air, desperately trying to slow yourself down with nothing to grab onto.
None of this makes any sense. Your emotions are shot to pieces, too many parts of yourself being pulled in different directions and you’re not sure which ones you can trust anymore. How can you be? Oikawa’s still holding your hand, smiling at you, and you just want everything to stop for a second so you can right yourself and breathe–
The door opens.
Iwaizumi appears in your field of vision, dragging a bound, hooded figure behind him. And because this is all some big, cosmic joke, you get your wish. Both of them, actually. 
Time slows. 
Even with a burlap sack pulled over his head, you recognise the man Iwa shoves to the floor and sneers at. 
Hundreds of miles, weeks of uselessly traipsing around this fucking island, and finally– 
Finally, you’ve found Ryu.
There should be relief. Fear, considering his current state, yes, but Ryuji’s here and he’s alive and as the hood is ripped off his head Oikawa squeezes your hand and the only thing you feel is… anger.
Not a heated flash that surges through your blood. It’s slow and seething, insipid. You look at him, locked in place as empty, pleading eyes meet yours and all you can think is that all of this – everything – is his fault.
“Asuka told you why she came to me, didn’t she?” Oikawa asks.
Your brow furrows, why–why is he asking you that now, how did he even–
He slips closer behind you, letting your hand go in favour of your shoulder, his spare dragging lightly along the bare skin of your arm. “She was lost, in so much pain. The physical wounds, they heal after a while,” his voice is right in your ear, a low murmur that sends a shiver rippling down your spine.
It isn’t an unpleasant feeling.
“But the scars inside, well… sometimes those fester.”
Gagged and bound, kneeling at your feet, Ryu doesn’t even try to make a sound. 
He’s thinner than you remember. Face gaunt and bruised; there’s a half healed, mottled yellow one painted across the left side of his jaw, one eye purple and swollen. You glance at Iwa, standing stoically behind him, muscular arms folded across his chest. His work, you wonder, or others as well? You notice the tear tracks running down his face, catching the light of the lanterns, but it’s as if you’re seeing it all through a thick pane of glass. None of it reaches you, there’s nothing but that simmering, ugly feeling in your gut.
Oikawa hums, “I told you that Paradise wasn’t for everyone. It’s a haven, yes, but there are those who simply… don’t belong.”
His body’s so warm, pressed up against yours. Fingertips graze along your side, and this time you don’t bother biting back that tiny, breathless moan. Iwa briefly smirks at it, but there’s no embarrassment. Why should there be? Your eyes flit back to Ryu, bowed on the wooden floor.
Another memory resurfaces; A sharp crack and a ringing in your ears, Ryuji, eyes bloodshot and glazed, falling to his knees, clutching frantically at the leg of your pants as endless apologies spill from his lips. 
It wasn’t him. It was never him. 
“He hurt you,” Oikawa purrs. “He kept hurting you, I saw it.”
The words wash over you like waves breaking on the shore, but you find yourself nodding anyway. It was the truth, wasn’t it? A thousand tiny hurts, piled up on one another until you finally broke.
And you’d still come when he’d called.
Listened to him when he’d begged you not to hang up the phone.
“Iwa.” 
The brunet moves towards a grand chest of drawers pushed up against the western wall. An ornate dagger sits atop, strange and beautiful; the blade isn’t steel or any metal you’ve seen before, but some kind of black stone, the handle intricately carved ivory. You hadn’t even noticed it before, Oikawa’s room filled to the brim with odd trinkets and treasures, but now that you have, it’s hard to tear your eyes away.
Iwa takes it and carries it over towards the two of you, holding it with the utmost care. 
“Obsidian,” Oikawa informs you as he accepts the blade from his friend, bringing it in front of you both to show it off. “Pretty, isn’t it?” And while you can’t see his face, you can hear the smile in his tone.
He isn’t wrong though. 
Ever so carefully you reach out, the soft pads of your fingertips running along the obsidian surface, surprisingly cool to the touch. The razor sharp edges – wavy and asymmetrical, leading to a tapered point – you’re careful to avoid, almost positive you’d draw blood with the slightest touch. 
“Take it,” he urges, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. 
Obediently, you turn your hand over, your fingers wrapping around the hilt when he presses it against your palm. And as long fingers curl around yours, you idly wonder how old the dagger is – there’s not so much as a scratch on it, yet there’s something about the weapon in your hand that feels ancient. It thrums under your combined touch.
Oikawa jerks his chin at Iwa, and with a short nod and one last, lingering glance cast your way, the latter exits once again. 
Leaving you and Oikawa alone with Ryuji.
“It’s almost time,” he remarks – though time for what, you’re not entirely sure. His lips press against your hair, his arm dropping from your shoulder to your waist, drawing you flush against him. “I know why you came to me, the lies that led you here.”
Both of you turn your attention back to Ryuji at that, the bound man now shaking with the force of his muffled sobs, snot dripping from his nose. That bitter resentment rears its ugly head again, soothed only by Oikawa’s pacifying hum, his thumb now rubbing slow circles at your side. “Shh, I’m not angry – none of that matters now. You’ve found a home here, no? You want to stay on the island with me.”
You swallow, nodding your head rapidly. The thought of having to leave now, of being forced out after everything you’ve seen and felt and experienced here, you– you can’t fathom it. You don’t want to. 
Ryuji’d wrought so much damage, but even before he’d swept through your life… had you ever been happy? Were you ever truly accepted – or loved, for that matter?
You can’t go back to that life. You won’t; he’ll have to drag you kicking and screaming from the shore. The Commune is your home, this is where you belong. Here, with Oikawa.
“Good girl,” he croons, another kiss pressed to the crown of your head. You beam at the praise and Ryuji crumples a little further. “Death begets life, you understand now, don’t you?”
You glance at the obsidian dagger in your hand and then at Ryu, beaten and bruised, bowed in forced supplication before you, and nod.
His fingers tighten around yours, “Then do it.”
Leaning forward, you reach for Ryu, fingers lightly trailing down his ruined cheek, curling at his chin to coax his head upwards. He squeezes his eyes shut, pain and regret etched over every inch of his face, but he doesn’t fight you. 
Baring his throat to your dagger, Ryuji’s pleas take the shape of your name.
Muffled, thanks to the gag, but unmistakable. And for one single moment, you falter. 
This… this is wrong; for all his faults, and god knows there were plenty, Ryu didn’t des–
A wave of calm washes over you, allaying your fears, your doubts. Your breath leaves you in a heavy gust, taking with it the tension in your shoulders, and Oikawa’s voice, smooth and honeyed, reaches your ears once more, “Nothing comes without a price, doesn’t he deserve to be the one to pay it?”
With your hand still tucked inside of his, your arm moves with a will of its own; slashing with inhuman grace.
The dagger cuts deep, Ryuji’s eyes snapping open in shock as a spray of warm blood hits you both. He chokes – a horrid, wet, gurgling sound – wide, pleading eyes frantically shifting between you and Oikawa. Every beat of his failing heart sends fresh blood spurting from the gaping wound. It drenches his front, splatters across your dress, your face, crimson pooling at the wooden floorboards at his knees. His mouth falls open and shut, trying and failing to form coherent sounds and you just stand there and watch, the dagger hanging limply at your side.
It doesn’t take long; seconds at the most. 
Ryuji’s slumps to the floor, his body finally growing still as the light fades from his eyes. There’s a beat of absolute silence, and then–
Oikawa shudders behind you, a strangled, drawn out moan leaving his lips. You try to turn, but his arms lock around you, every muscle tensing, his back arching. The dagger in your hand grows hot, burning the soft skin of your palm, but with his fingers still tightly entwined with yours you can only whimper and endure it.
With a hoarse, guttural roar, a pulse of pure energy surges through the room like a shockwave. Every cell in your body lights up, electrified, buzzing; a dizzying euphoria unlike any you’ve felt before coursing through your blood. 
Across the island, voices cry out in delight, a symphony of life. The trees tremble and shake, invigorated and renewed, fresh buds bursting from the forest floor, blooming under the light of the full moon.
The harvests flourish, even the river swells in response to the call.
Death begets life, just as he promised.
And with every inch of your body alight and singing with pleasure, you can barely think much less protest (and why would you want to?) as Oikawa roughly yanks you around, hungry lips crashing against your own as his fingers pull and tear at your bloodstained dress. He wastes no time with foreplay, and you suspect only begrudgingly takes a moment to hoist you up against him and carry you to his bed.
There’s nothing gentle about the way he hauls your hips to his, sheathing his cock inside of your warm, tight cunt with one savage thrust, but you don’t care.
Not as you cling to him, fingernails raking along his shoulders as he presses your thighs further apart so he can fuck you deeper. It’s hard and rough and brutal, yet you moan for him all the same, his name a prayer swallowed up by feverish, claiming kisses.
Tonight, bathed in blood and the soft glow of moonlight, you offer your god everything.
“Look, look!” 
A small hand tugs at your skirt, and you glance down to find a little girl with pretty, dark curls holding up a crown of woven flowers.
“Do you like it?” she asks. 
Carefully, you take it from her, bringing it closer to examine. She watches you intently as you study it, lifting it this way and that to appraise her work, humming thoughtfully for good measure. “I think it’s beautiful work,” you tell her after a long enough pause, and you can’t help but smile at the way she lights up, preening under your praise. “Why don’t you go show your mama? I’m sure she’ll be very impressed.”
The girl nods rapidly, thanking you before skipping off in the direction of her parents. The sun’s hanging low in the sky, the fires already being readied for the night ahead. You’re not unaware of the watchful gaze that carefully monitors your every move, and the moves of anyone who ventures too close by. Soon enough, you’ll return home to the heart of the island – anticipation fluttering in your belly at the thought of what awaits you – but for now, you let your feet sink further into the sand, closing your eyes as you bask in the lingering warmth of the setting sun.
At least until the sound of your name being called draws you back to the present. Yet it’s not Iwaizumi approaching, but rather Makki, two strangers trailing along behind him. 
“Thought I’d find you here,” he grins, throwing a casual arm over your shoulders. “This is Kaneo,” he gestures to the man, “and his wife Manaka. They arrived this morning, I’ve been showing ‘em round.”
You turn to the couple, smiling sweetly as you extend a hand, “Welcome to the Commune.”
435 notes · View notes
bakugohoex · 3 years
Text
“good girl, spread your legs more, you want me to make you feel good?”
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pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader
cw: aged up, nsfw (corruption kink, age gap, fingering, nipple play, biting and sucking, kissing, praise, virgin reader, unprotected consensual sex, office sex, finger sucking and jaw grabbing), talks about men being perverted as well
word count: 4,000+
information: corruption collab hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting​
a/n: had such fun writing this, hope you guys enjoy this and check out the collab to see the other fics
summary: in which bakugo has always been infatuated with the pure guise you put on, when you come to his office late at night, how can he not resist the temptation of ruining something so sweet?
↞ back to my hero academia masterlist
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He hated it, hated how in a single look you could have him under a spell. You were supposed to be his sidekick, his little pure sidekick. But the way you sauntered throughout the office in the early morning of June made him think of you differently, think of how those pure eyes had something so much more to them. He watched how the tight leotard fitted just above your hips, he had often seen the other sidekicks stare at your body.
He knew you never meant any harm with your costume, it made it easier for you to use your quirk and stay regulated by the commission. The way the top of your collars were open showed a glimpse of your chest as the short sleeves made your arms almost glisten in the sunlight. Bakugo played with the pen in his hand as he watched you smile happily with some other much older sidekicks.
Ever since you arrived a couple months back, it seemed like every single member of Bakugo’s agency had fallen under your innocent guise. But how pure could one little girl be, hell you were only a couple years younger than the man, but the fresh face you brought to his agency was an unknown presence.
Sidekicks seemed to fan around you, love every part of you. You spoke with such purity, as if you’d never experienced anything adult ever. You chuckled at some idiot's joke as he continued to stare, leaning back in his chair as the vest top allowed his arms to breath. Bakugo hated the look of lust his sidekicks gave; you were supposed to be his little sidekick nobody else’s. What gave them the right to look at your vulnerable self and think they deserved to even talk to you?
He watched as you walked closer to his glass doors, you easily dismissed the men who surrounded you as soon as you knocked on his door. “Come in.” He muttered, dropping the pen as you gave a soft smile to the man.
“Good morning Sir, I collected your mail as I arrived.” He hadn’t noticed the envelopes in your hand, hearing the formalities that he hated as you stood at the door waiting to be told to sit down.
He put his hand out for the mail you so kindly collected from the side; it was never your job, but you seemed to always love helping the man. “Sit.”
You followed his order passing the mail as you sat straight, legs clenched together and hands sitting on your thighs. Such a pretty picture he knew how men would long to have a woman like you waiting for them like this. He shook his head skimming through the mail, some from other hero agencies, some other shit he didn’t care for. “Is this all, Sir.”
“I told you not to call me that.” He scowled sternly.
“Sorry Si…Bakugo.” You quickly stuttered on your words sitting firm as his gaze looked you up and down.
He chucked the mail to the side, leaning on his arms to get a closer look at you, “you can leave now.” The presence you brought about was sickly, he almost felt disgusted being around you, but it was something he craved to fix. He wanted to ruin that smile, ruin the makeup you wore, ruin your thighs and neck.
You quickly nodded your head before walking out of the door, but you stopped at his door frame, “Bakugo.” He looked up to meet your gaze again, “you’ll be coming to the dinner tonight.”
It wasn’t a question rather than a plea for him to attend, one of his sidekicks was having a birthday dinner and he had so kindly asked everybody to attend along with some of his own friends. Bakugo looked back down at the papers before meeting your eyes again, “some shitty extras birthday is the least of my problems.”
It was all you needed to hear for you to leave his office, he watched you walk away almost sad that the man wasn’t attending. It was your first time getting together with your colleagues and Bakugo wasn’t attending. You had heard about the rising pro hero when he had just freshly graduated UA and you were in middle school, ever since you’d become infatuated with the man.
He had a shitty personality from his teen years but as you watched him grow and heard the UA teachers speak highly about the famous graduating class who had fought villains since their first year. How could you not respect the man and now getting the opportunity to be around him, work alongside him made your heart beat harder.
The day went by without any more word from Bakugo, he went on patrol with some of the older sidekicks whilst you got stuck with other fresh recruits on your own little patrols. Bakugo had noticed the tense look you gave him; he was going to attend the dinner, but he really had just wanted to see your reaction. The way you didn’t meet his eyes when he walked past you, but as soon as he wasn’t looking you’d stare longley at the man. Bakugo had to admit that your quirk was exceptional, the way you easily fought villains on one of the first patrols he’d been on with you was amazing. He saw the raw talent you had for this, the way you’d be able to move past being a sidekick and create your own agency.
Bakugo truthfully knew that you’d become a lot bigger than he was at 19, that your talent would be noticed, and he’d lose you. His eyes skimmed to the darkness in front of the panned-out glass, he saw how most had left for the dinner and others had left for their own patrols. He watched how the sky was filled with bright lights, the way each building housed another story. He heard a knock making him turn, he had expected you to have left by now but instead you were standing in your normal clothes, the short skirt and tight shirt that made your figure show even more than he had expected.
It was the first time he had ever been alone with you, even in his office there had always been watchful eyes staring at the interaction with the angry pro hero and the sweet sidekick. It sounded cliché in his head, but he watched how you stayed beside the door frame encase he told you to fuck off.
“Bakugo.” You whispered softly, he saw how your bag was held tightly in your other hand, you had a small smile as you looked for any sign he was letting you inside.
He beckoned you inside, watching how you stayed in full view of him, he hadn’t realised how tight your shirt actually was. How it accentuated your chest to make them almost spill out of your shirt, he hated the thoughts that skimmed through his head. For years, his only thought was to become the number one pro hero, of course he wasn’t a virgin, having had many one night stands in his time. But the lust he had for you, for you to be pushed against the glass of his office made his head spin in excitement.
“What do you want?” He questioned as he watched you take a seat in front of him, he licked his lips waiting for an answer as you dropped your bag to the side.
He waited for an answer, you soft eyes giving him a tender look that he wanted to ruin. He craved to have you in his arms, on his cock but you spoke some sweetly like a pure virgin would, so careful with your words. “I didn’t want you to be alone on a Friday night.”
It was sweet, sickly even how you took pity on him. He hated it, giving you a snare as you looked down, he was about to speak when you continued, “I didn’t want to go to the dinner without you.” His eyes almost softened as your own did, but he regained his composure tapping his finger against his thigh as he looked at your smaller fragile frame.
“Why?” It was a simple question, but you seemed unable to answer it, he watched as you stayed in thought thinking of an answer, but he beat you too any response, “scared to be without me, aren’t you baby girl.”
His words seethed with malice, you felt mocked and disgraced you were unable to form the words to say he was wrong. Because he wasn’t, you were scared to be without him, scared to be in a room with men who had eyed you up on multiple days. He saw the worry that flashed as you tensed up, were you really that scared to be left in a room with them. He sat up moving to stand in front of his desk as he leaned against it, arms muscles on show as you didn’t meet his eyes.
“I should go.” You spoke hesitantly, but he leaned forward, hands on the chair as he trapped your body between his own.
His breath skimmed onto your face as he stared down at your fragile self, you were a pretty little porcelain doll for him to break. He moved one finger to touch your chin forcing you to look at him, you finally met his gaze feeling so small in front of him. “Bakugo.” You breathed out heavily, he imagined this breathless was from him pounding into you making him groan in frustration.
“What is it, spit it out princess?” He was toying with you, every word filled with a lust to ruin you in a matter of seconds.
His finger forcing you to look at him as your breath was heavy, “I didn’t want to go, they make me all uncomfortable.” It was a confession of the fear that you had to the men, Bakugo looked down, his eyes glazed with a type of discomfort at your own comment.
“I’ll tell them to stop.” He was going to stick by his word, but it was more for his own sake then anything else. He wanted them to stop so only he could have you, only he could think disgustingly dirty thoughts of you. You nodded but his finger stayed firm on your chin, “do you want me to stop?”
His question brought you to think of the prior actions of the past couple of months. They way he’d bark orders to the sidekicks whenever he saw them getting too handsy with you, the way he’d stand in between you and another man letting you beside him only. The way that he allowed you into his office without a growl to tell you to fuck off, it all came down to this moment. He may have not explicitly stated he wanted you like the others, but it had always been a lingering feeling.
“I don’t.” You shook your head looking at his lips, he licked them before grabbing your jaw up making you stand up. He let go of your jaw, the lingering miss of his touch as he went and sat on his chair, the way he spread his legs, his arms ready to divulge into you made you squirm.
He patted his lap, as you followed his instruction, your skirt riding as you situated yourself on his lap. One arm around your waist as the other skimmed down your mouth to your jaw and that’s when the question occurred. The one where you could decide if this was what you really wanted, “you want me to fuck you baby girl?”
You looked down at his lingering hands ready to either leave your chest or caress every part of your body. “I want you.” It was a whisper and Bakugo gave a soft chuckle at how stupidly quiet you’d gotten.
“Speak up, doll, or I’ll have to leave you to sort yourself out.” He was dead serious in his comment waiting for a proper reply to the question.
“I want to do this.” You spoke more loudly; his hand cupped your breast from on top of the shirt as his other hand gripped your side before his lips met your own.
Your hands moved to his cheek, kissing him softly but he had other ideas. He brought your body closer, wanting to feel your cunt clench against his thigh as he kissed you. His tongue gliding inside at the sign of one of your moans, one of your hands moving to grab the back of his neck.
You knew you had to tell him, it’d be wrong of you if you didn’t and it would make him know that you weren’t just looking for a hook-up. As you let go of his hair, your hand still around his neck as you breathed heavily into his mouth you confess something that could end whatever this was. “I’m a virgin.”
“I assumed.” He spoke moving his mouth to your neck, he hadn’t even thought to care about it, he was going to have you if it was the last thing he’d do.
You gave a soft moan as your hands played with the ends of his blond locks, “and you don’t care?” You questioned as his teeth nibbled on your neck, the sound of sucking and his tongue lapping against your neck heard throughout the room.
“Should I?” He had been admiring the purple bruises across your neck too care about the look of worry you had on your face, “my pretty little Y/n, what did you think I’d be so crude as to take your virginity and not want something else from you.” He moved his mouth to your ear sending a shiver down your spine as he continued, “once I fuck you and you cum on my cock, this cunt belongs to me and only me, okay?”
“Okay.” You replied obediently, Bakugo couldn’t wait to ruin you.
He went in for another kiss, watching how one hand rested on his bicep as your other landed on his chest. “You're gonna be a good girl for me.” He spoke parting ways as he took the shirt off of your body, seeing how you face flushed at feeling exposed. “Don’t hide yourself, pretty girl, I’m going to make you feel so good.”
Bakugo knew how scared you must feel knowing this was your first time in an unconventional setting, but even then he wanted to make it good for you. Make you remember your first time as something amazing that brought you pleasure rather than the pain of it all.
You nodded as you moved your hands away, his mouth moving to your neck as his tongue licked right down to where both your breasts parted. He unclipped your bra, the snap making you look down to meet his eyes as he sucked on one of your hand nipples. You could almost feel your underwear begin to soak through, glad Bakugo was wearing the baggy trousers.
The sucking of your nipples filled the room before, he let go easily bringing you up onto the desk. He saw how your skirt lifted up, exposing the cotton underwear he had been wishing to see. Your back rested against the hard wood as he looked at you with watchful eyes, “good girl, spread your legs more, you want me to make you feel good?”
“P…please make me feel you.” Your words echoed in his ear as he dragged the skirt down your legs, chucking it on the floor before moving your underwear to the side. Slick coating the fabric as he dipped his fingers into your clit, it sent a shiver as you tried to hide a moan by biting your hand. His hand moved to grab it away, holding it down as he brought his chair closer to your exposed body.
“Pretty, pretty thing, you going to let me ruin you now, let me stretch you out.” You were ever so submissive, so eager as he strung you along with every word.
His fingers moved past your clit as it circled your cunt, before divulging your insides. He let two fingers begin pumping back and forth as he watched how your heavy moans filled the room. He knew that if someone came walking into the doors both of you would be caught but why should he care. It's his agency and you were his pretty girl.
“Katsuki.” The way his name rolled off your tongue sent a surge for more from Bakugo as he inserted a third finger pumping in and out through the slick.
He heard the way you moaned heavily gripping his other hand whilst your other gripped the edge of the table. He continued with his actions, before feeling your cunt clench against him, “you want to cum princess, cum on my fingers…go on.” The coil inside of you had almost felt pressured to release at his words.
You’d never cummed before and the feeling that came with it brought you on a high, he watched you give a hefty moan of his name and a swear before gushing right onto his fingers. “You gonna keep this all inside.”
It was a command you’d happily follow as his fingers were still coated in slick. You looked eagerly at his fingers that he was about to put in his mouth, but the way you looked at them, in an instant he knew what you wanted. “Dirty thing aren’t you, you want to taste yourself.” Bakugo sucked one of the fingers leaving the other two coated in you, saliva went down the third before he stuck all three into your mouth.
You sucked the cum and spit from his fingers feeling like a whore for doing something like this, Bakugo enjoyed the feeling of your tongue wrapping around his fingers. As much as he wanted to feel your mouth on his cock, for your first time he wanted to please you and make the innocent girl not so innocent anymore.
His fingers came out with a pop as your cunt leaked out cum onto the table. He took his vest off, your eyes widening at the true extent of Bakugo’s body before he undid his trousers. You could already see the bulge, but you had no idea it was truly a good size cock. Anything could satisfy you at this point, he watched how you leant against your elbows watching him strip. It felt like your very own show, his eyes lingered across your frame, the smell of cum and sweat soaking the air.
He chucked his trousers to the side before doing the same with his boxers. His blushed tip and much larger cock twitched upwards, he pumped up and down as precum dribbled down to his thighs. You knew that what he had was a lot larger than average, your mouth watered as you felt an urgency to have it inside of you.
“Please…inside me.” You could barely even speak, Bakugo smirked at the effect he had on you aligning his cock right to where your cunt was.
“So needy, keep begging.” His cock lingered in place as he waited for more.
You mewled more pleas before he heard something that made his cock twitch, “please…Sir, please I’m your good girl.” You spoke through a broken voice as you had begged for his cock.
“This is going to hurt.” You knew it would and as he  began to push his cock inside of you, tears welled up as they trickled down your face, black mascara staining your eyes as he felt a sadistic enjoyment from this. “There you go, let me all the way in, pretty girl.”
His praise meant the world as he was glad to have stretched your cunt out with his fingers prior, but even then the extent of how much you could take was limited. He felt suffocated around you as you continued to sob, Bakugo bent down to meet your eyes. “You’re doing so well baby.”
He wiped the tears as he kissed you again, he wanted to fill you right up before thrusting, make you feel suffocated and filled up. It would get rid of the pureness, get rid of everything innocent that men had been attracted to. “I’m…doing good.” You whispered through the kiss, loving and appreciating the praise you were getting.
His hands cupped your cheek as he gave you a smirk, “you’re doing amazing baby girl.” He kissed the side of your jaw as he felt all of him stuff you full. “You ready?”
“Yes Sir.” You whispered back hands locking into his hair as one of his hands had gripped your thigh to bring it up. The much easier access had allowed for him to begin thrusting in and out of your cunt, slick and your previous cum helping him as he felt swallowed inside of you.
Bakugo knew how he was with sex, brash, fast and lustful but at this moment with you. He was nothing but loving and caring, making sure you felt pleasure. He met your eyes, how you looked at him with such admiration before you leant forward through his thrusting, “You okay?”
You gave a small moan at his question as the pain had turned into pleasure, each thrust ridding the pain. You knew why you had stayed a virgin for so long, you were waiting. You didn’t know who for, but at this moment in time, you knew it had always been for Katsuki Bakugo.
“Fuck.” You whispered as his pace quickened, he watched your eyes roll to the back of your head as he felt himself touch the back of your uterus. The way his cock had left a bulge into your stomach as he was able to see himself fill you entirely, “fa…faster.”
He obeyed your wish as he thrusted faster and deeper, every moan making him groan loudly in your ear. “Doing…doing so well princess.”
His leant his forehead against your own as you both took in each other’s presence, his thrusts becoming sloppier as your moans became louder. “You gonna cum on me.” You nodded eagerly as even though you felt tired you still had the strength to look right up into Bakugo’s scarlet eyes.
You felt the coil in your stomach re-release as cum gushed out in one hefty swipe, “fuck Katsuki…” You breathed heavily, tears flooded down, mascara ruined, hair dishevelled. Bakugo continued to thrust waiting for his own oncoming high, he knew he hadn’t used a condom but at this moment he wanted to fill you right up.
“Can I?” He whispered into your ear, trailing kisses down your neck to your collarbones, his thrusting leading to squelches forming in the room.
“I’m on the pill.” He didn’t bother asking why, even though through your moan and rolled out eyes he could only assume it had something to do with your quirk. You laid on the table, moaning as Bakugo thrusted back and forth, you felt empty but the love and passion he had as he groaned your name at every thrust brought you pleasure.
His mouth moved to suck on your collarbone, the more bruises to show who you belonged to. Your hands moved to his back as long scratch lines formed until you felt Bakugo cum right inside of you. The feeling of being filled to the brim as even more cum was being stuffed inside of you, you had heard him moan your name as his head was on the crook of your neck.
“You did so well baby girl.” He whispered, slipping his cock back out as he looked at your body and face. He grabbed your jaw to make you look at him again, “this well tell those stupid extras to not look at what’s mine.”
You softened at his possessiveness as you felt him give your temple a sweaty kiss. His lips lingered as he admired how you looked. The pure innocent girl that had arrived in his office would be leaving as the cum filled stained girl that now belonged to him.
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creamiecoups · 3 years
Text
anon : seungcheol smut!Jealous sex, degrading, ass smacking definitely. just add anything y’know! maybe you were flirting with another member and he got jealous. thank you, I don’t really know how to request, second time requesting only. ❤️
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↠  summary :  flirting with Jun just to get your boyfriend riled up really wasn’t a smart move, though you thought it meant no harm at the beginning, you realised way too late that it was a very, very bad idea.
↠  pairing : seungcheol x reader
↠ warnings :  posessive behaviour, swearing, alcohol, mentions of drinking (no one gets drunk), dom!seungcheol, rough sex (he gets out of control heh), dirty talk, unprotected sex, orgasm denial, degradation, multiple orgasms, choking, hair pulling, spanking, cheol loves your ass alot, crying, biting, creampies, overstimulation, oral (male receiving), deep throating, cum eating, slight daddy kink, slight size kink, a bit of fluff in the end
↠ word count : 11.3K words
↠ author’s note : i know i took really long to post it and im sorry in every language that exists :-( i just got kinda carried away with this one (as you can see with the word count lmao) so i took really long perfecting it and editing. but i hope y’all love it and it makes up for the long ass wait !!
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Another giggle passed your lips as you leaned on Jun, taking another sip of the red wine he had poured for you earlier.
You had come over to the dorms to spend some time with the boys, and of course, your boyfriend Seungcheol.
Currently, there was only Jun, Soonyoung, Vernon, Seungkwan and Seungcheol at the dorms, the rest being god knows where. You were a bit disappointed that you couldn't see all of them but at least you could see a few of them when they weren't busy or not at home.
"Hey you two! Let's do something together, this is so unfair you can't have her all to yourself Jun!" Soonyoung whined loudly, looking at both of you in annoyance.
You were all spread out, Vernon and Seungkwan and Soonyoung were sprawled on the couch, You and Jun were sitting on the floor, and your boyfriend was somewhere in the kitchen...his hard stare on you being oblivious to you.
"Come join us then," you said, patting the seat next to you.
You suddenly felt bad for them, you and Jun had been so lost in each other's conversations that you had almost forgotten about the rest.
"No ew...I don't even get what's so funny about him, I make the better jokes," Seungkwan huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically.
"You mean your over the top drama? She laughs because I'm actually funny," Jun shot, making you chuckle.
"Okay guys that's enough...let's do something together like Soonyoung suggested," you said, before their conversation got any more heated.
You leaned your back against the couch as you took the last sip of your wine.
"Want more?" Jun asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh no that's enough...I just finished my second glass," you said, placing your empty glass on the coffee table.
"So guys, what do you want to do?" Jun asked, looking up at the guys who were still laying on the couch.
"I don't know..." Soonyoung trailed off, making you smile.
"Wow....so you bother us and go on about how you wanna do something together but you have no idea on what to do?" Jun said, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"Yeah well I didn't care what we did it was just annoying seeing you both so close!!" Seungkwan chirped.
"Fine, fine, how about....spin the bottle?" Vernon said, getting up from his sleeping position as he looked at us.
"Ah no, that's not fair on Y/N! And plus I don't wanna kiss any of you guys," Soonyoung said, pretending to vomit.
"You say it like we want to kiss you...I just wanna play so I can get the chance of kissing her," Jun said, winking your way as you blushed, hitting his shoulder softly.
Jun would be lying to himself if he said he never found you attractive, you always were to him, but he knew not to cross the line with Seungcheol, he respected his older friends relationship and he was happy for them- but he also envied him.
"Do you wanna die in the hands of hyung that bad?" Seungkwan asked, making Jun chuckle.
"Oh please...he doesn't mind, do you cheol?" Jun asked, cocking his eyebrow towards Seungcheol.
You look towards the kitchen area, your eyes falling on Seungcheol who had his gaze fixed on you already, like he had been staring at you the entire time. You bit your bottom lip, realising you had kinda been ignoring him the past hour since you were busy talking to Jun.
"What ever made you think I'd be okay with you kissing my girlfriend?" Seungcheol shot, his eyes finally leaving yours to glare at Jun.
"Come on now...it wouldn't hurt now would it? It's just a kiss after all...right Y/N?" Jun asked, turning to look at you.
"Uh..u-uhm..."
You looked down to your entwined hands, ignoring both of their stares on you..Jun wanting to know what you would say, and Seungcheol daring you to agree with Jun.
"This won't...end good I can feel it," you heard Vernon whisper to Seungkwan, making you agree...mentally of course.
"O-okay guys! Let's play truth or dare, everybody loves that game!" Soonyoung suddenly said, getting up from his seat on the couch to come and sit next to Jun.
"Yeah... teenagers do," Seungkwan mumbled, getting up aswell, before dragging Vernon up.
"But whatever...just thank you for lightening the mood!" Seungkwan added, joining you three on the floor, already forming a circle.
Soonyoung smiled, giving you a reassuring nod to which you smiled back, thanking him silently for saving you from the awkward situation you were in.
"Seungcheol hyung, you joining?" Vernon asked, before sitting next to you.
"Yeah, whatever," he muttered gruffly, walking over to where you guys were seated on the floor.
"Awh why did you call him? He's a party pooper!" Jun groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Seriously, who the fuck says that anymore?" Vernon snorted, making you laugh.
"Move," Seungcheol's voice broke away your laugh as you looked up at him, his eyes were on Vernon.
"Ah right, my bad," Vernon said, scooting more to Seungkwan's side so Seungcheol could sit between you too.
"Okay now that we're all seated...anybody have an app or something? Or do you just want to say random stuff?" Soonyoung asked.
"Nah I hate the apps, let's just say what we feel like saying," Jun said, making everyone nod- well except for Seungcheol, who was too busy being bored, he had only said yes so he could monitor Jun and you.
He trusted you, with his entire life, there was no doubt about that...but Jun on the other hand or any of the other members at that, they were his closest friends and he also trusted them...but boys will be boys and he knew he had to be careful in case any of them got a bit too, well....touchy.
"Okay then, who wants to go first?" Seungkwan asked, as you crossed your legs, your pleated skirt riding up your thigh.
Jun's eyes fell to your thighs unwillingly, as he swallowed thickly, moving his eyes away quickly before someone caught him...and what he didn't realise was, Seungcheol was watching him the entire time and had seen him catch a glimpse of his girlfriend.
Seungcheol's jaw twitched, as he grabbed your wrist before pulling you up quickly.
"What are you doing cheol?" You asked innocently, unaware of the looks you had just received.
"Your staying the night so you should be comfortable..and this will not keep you warm," he said, eyeing Jun.
"Oh you can borrow my hood-"
"She has my clothes so don't worry," Seungcheol snapped, cutting Jun off his sentence.
Jun bit back a laugh, knowing he was really starting to piss his older friend off.
You just stayed still as Seungcheol dragged you from the lounge area and into the corridor to his room.
He locked it behind you both, before turning to look at you.
"Did you really not have anything else to wear today?" He asked, jaw clenched tightly.
"I came straight here after meeting up with my friends," you said, looking down at your outfit.
"What's wrong with it?"
"What's wrong? It's so fucking short that anyone could see your ass with one bend of your knees," he shot, eyeing you angrily.
"Cheol calm down..plus I do look cute in it," you said back, as you bat your eyelashes at him.
Seungcheol sighed, ignoring you as he walked into his closet.
You frown deeply as your fingers curled into fists, was he really not going to compliment you?
"Cheolie..do you really not find me hot in this?" You sulked, holding onto his muscular arm that you oh so loved.
"Let go of me, I'm trying to find something for you to wear," he mumbled gruffly, making you whine.
"But cheol...look at me, you have to admit-"
He pulled your arm off him, before roughly pushing you towards the wall.
"What the hell Seungcheol!"
"Yeah, you fucking do look hot, so hot that I'm trying my hardest not to bend you over right now and fuck the living hell out of you so you never dare wear something like this ever again," he spat, catching you off guard.
"That's what you wanted to hear, right?"
"I-I.."
His hands trailed down your back slowly, his stare on you cold and hard.
"I've been watching you princess...so don't think I don't notice your flirting.."
His hands smoothed up and down your ass, making you bite your lip before you could let out a whine.
"I'm not flirting...I'm just being friendly," you bravely said as you felt his lips on your neck. He wasn't doing anything, just keeping his lips on your skin but that was enough to have your entire body burning.
"Don't lie sweetheart....I know you have a really bad habit of pissing me off....so if I were you, I would stop being so flirty with my friends or you'll really get it from me..understand?" He growled, making you nod.
"Words sweetheart," he warned, moving away from your neck to look at your flushed face.
You smirked, before replying innocently. "I understand, daddy."
Seungcheol's eyes visibly darkened, as he licked his lips.
"I wouldn't play like that with me darling," Seungcheol snapped, bringing his face dangerously close to yours.
"Cheol...my clothes," you reminded him, pushing him off you.
"..Right," he huffed, looking at you one last time before moving away to get out a hoodie and sweatpants for you to wear.
"You...wore this last time you came I'm pretty sure, it should fit," he mumbled, probably to himself as he took out a simple pair of black sweatpants, before handing it to you.
"As for a hoodie since it's cold...."
"Hah...speaking of hoodies...I have like five of yours still in my apartment," you said, smiling at him sheepishly.
He turned around, his eyes soft once again.
"Well good thing I have alot right?"
You both laughed, as he took out one of his most favorite hoodies.
"This one...you are not taking home...it's my favorite," he said, pouting at you.
"Why are you giving it to me then?" You asked, crossing your hands across your chest.
"What's mine, is yours right? Plus you'd look so cute in it, I only said you couldn't take it home because then I won't be able to wear it all the time since it will be at your apartment," he said, making you laugh.
"Alright alright, I'll return it to you before I leave...what a baby," you mumble the last line, but Seungcheol was quick to catch on.
"Who you calling a baby?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow.
"You, now get out, I'm gonna change," you said, already pushing him out of the closet door since you knew he would try and stay.
"Oh come on...I can't wait until those annoying men go to sleep! The least you can do is give me a show until then," he said, winking at you.
"Go away cheol."
You shut the door in his face, laughing at how he whined from the other side.
In the past year and a half that you two had been dating, Seungcheol always was really just a big baby. Seemed all tough from the outside especially since he needed to be a good role model to his younger member's, but you all knew he was just a huge softie when it came to people he loved.
But you and his friends knew very well that if was to ever get mad, he would be very mad.
And that's why you loved ganging up with them to piss him off, see what would throw him off exactly.
He was like a bear in your opinion, soft and cuddly, but scary too.
You sighed, pushing your thoughts to the side before changing into the clothes Seungcheol had given you. Once you were done, you opened the door.
"How do I look?" You asked, turning around once.
"Covered. You look covered. Thank god," he replied with no expression. making you huff as you turned away from him, already walking out the door.
"Finally! You took so long!" Soonyoung yelled.
"Sorry guys, it took a while finding something I wanted to wear," you said, sitting back down next to Jun on the floor.
"Well you look really cute, big hoodies look so good on you," Jun said, making me smile.
"Thank you."
You felt Seungcheol sit next to you, before he kissed your cheek lovingly making you blush.
"Now who wants to go first?" Vernon asked.
"I'll go first....Soonyoung...truth or dare?" Seungkwan asked.
"Hmm....truth."
Vernon groaned, "That's so boring can we only do dares?"
"Shut up for once that isn't how you play!" Seungkwan shot, as everyone laughed.
"Guys relax, it's just a game...and yeah kwan is right, and it's his choice on what he wants to do," you said, making Vernon sigh.
"Ah, fineeee."
"Thank you, now...Soonyoung....what's the dirtiest thing you have ever done..don't worry, it's a safe place and Jihoon isn't here so he can't bully you," Seungkwan said, as everyone turned to look at Soonyoung, waiting for him to answer.
"Ahh...well..do you mean sexually..or just..dirty, dirty?" He asked awkwardly.
"Any, your choice," Vernon said, making you nod.
"Uhm...eh...well I once didn't brush my teeth and lasted on chewing gum the entire day cuz I didn't want to be late for practice and keep you guys waiting."
Everyone's eyes were on Soonyoung, making him smile sheepishly.
"It's okay, I'm sure everyone has done that at lease once in their lifetime," you said, smiling at him.
"Have you!?" Seungkwan asked, disgust written all over his face.
"Honestly, I did it once in middle school cuz I didn't want to be late for an exam," you confessed honestly, scratching the back of your neck.
"God your so honest, makes me feel like being honest too...I have done that a couple of times," Vernon said, smirking at you.
"Ewww Hansol get off me!..Y/N I'll let off because I love her but you!?" Seungkwan squeaked, pushing Vernon further away from him.
"Hey don't bully him, we're just being honest here so Soonyoung doesn't feel lonely," You said, frowning at Seungkwan.
"Okay stop, why the fuck are we even having this conversation? Isn't anyone going to even bother asking Soonyoung why the fuck he chose that as something to say for a truth?" Jun suddenly said, looking at us in disbelief.
"Oh yeah true...but I guess it was good enough," Seungkwan said making all of us nod.
"Yeah it was good, if your lucky I won't tell Jihoon," Vernon said, sticking his tongue out.
"No stop, that man never leaves me alone to start with," Soonyoung whined, making all of us laugh.
"Okay shut up and just choose who you're going to ask next," Jun groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Right, um, Vernon!"
"Ahh...dare, cuz I wanna spice things up and I'm not a pussy," Vernon said, winking at Soonyoung.
"Perfect....I dare you to call Wonwoo and tell him you spilt something on his bed sheets," Soonyoung said, wriggling his eyebrows.
"That's not a dare....that's suicide," Vernon said, as he visibly shuddered.
"This is going to be fun," Seungcheol whispered in your ear, knowing very well how angry Wonwoo gets when someone goes in his room.
You nodded your head as everyone grew silent, watching Vernon closely as he took his phone out of his pocket.
"Okay...it's ringing," Vernon said.
"Put it on speaker," Soonyoung whispered, as Vernon nodded.
"Hey, what's up?" You heard Wonwoo's deep voice through the phone, making your heart beat fast, suddenly scared for Vernon's life.
"Hey hyung...where are you?" Vernon asked nervously.
"I'm out with a few friends, I told you guys before I left...is everything okay?"
"Uhm...I...I was in y-your room cuz I wanted to uh...borrow your....pen and I spilt juice all over your bed-"
"YOU WHAT!?" Wonwoo yelled from the other side, making Soonyoung start laughing loudly.
"This is kinda boring...wanna do something else?" Jun suddenly whispered in your ear, making you turn to look at him.
"Oh come on, why isn't it fun?" You asked.
"I'd just much rather be doing something else.." Jun trailed off, making you sigh.
"Alright...what do you want to do?"
"Hmm...let's find something to eat?" Jun suggested, making you chuckle as you nodded.
You got up, about to follow Jun to the kitchen before you felt someone tug at your wrist.
"Where are you going?" Seungcheol asked.
"I'm going to the kitchen with Jun, we're gonna find something to eat," you said, pulling out of his grasp before he could answer.
"I found ice-cream!" Jun exclaimed, waving the tub of strawberry ice-cream around.
"Is that the only flavour?" You asked, looking into the fridge, as your eyes laid on another tub of vanilla ice-cream.
"Yeah sadly we only have those two, let's have both though," Jun replied, clapping his hands.
You laughed as you took the tub of vanilla ice-cream out, before grabbing two spoons.
"Let's just eat from the tub?" You asked, making Jun nod with a smile.
You grabbed the strawberry ice-cream as he grabbed the vanilla one, and you both started to open the lid, quickly taking a spoonful into your mouth.
"Ah yes! This is exactly what I needed!" You mumbled, taking another bite.
"Yeah me too...tell me when you want to swap," Jun said, pointing to his tub of ice-cream.
You nodded your head, turning around to look back at the guys.
"So whats happening?" You whispered, as Soonyoung turned to look at you.
"Well he started cursing obviously...said a few...threats but we quickly told him in was a dare and now their having a conversation about food or something," Soonyoung said, making you nod.
"I'm surprised though, thought he would be running home by now," Jun said, making you laugh.
"That literally wasn't funny, why are you laughing?" Seungkwan shot, walking up to you guys.
"I'm sick of him stealing you away, come on, truth or dare was kinda getting boring already anyways."
Before you could even open your mouth, Seungkwan had taken the ice-cream from your hands and put it back in the freezer.
"Kwan why!" You whined, pulling at his sleeve.
"Let's do something together! How about karaoke?" He suggested, making you huff.
"Yeah fine, okay.....Jun come on!"
You and Jun went back to sit on the couch, as Seungkwan took his phone out to play some songs.
"He only asked for this so he could show off," Jun whispered in your ear, making you chuckle as you rested your head on his shoulder.
Your eyes suddenly flicked to Seungcheol, who was still sitting on the floor, his eyes fixed on you. You could feel his anger, even from feet away, but that only sparked a light bulb in you.
you wanted to piss him off, really bad. and all just for the fun of it.
You had your fair share of moments in making him mad yourself. Especially on days like this, when you decided to play around with his friends to get him jealous purposely, it always ended in rough sex that ended up with you not being able to walk properly the next day...but today, you wanted to see just how many buttons you could push before he finally snapped.
and oh boy, you were about to find out just how angry you could really get him.
You looked away smirking to yourself as you snuggled into Jun, pretending to completely ignore Seungcheol's presence as you watched Seungkwan start singing and dancing.
"Yo Y/N....hyung looks mad," Vernon whispered from beside you, making you look at him.
"I know...but it's funny," you replied, smirking at him.
"Guess your right, I'm gonna take photos of him for safekeeping," Vernon said, making you chuckle.
"Alright but be careful," you reminded him.
A few minutes passed of you and Jun just laughing at Seungkwan and Soonyoung while they sang to a duet, when you decided to get up and go get a drink.
"I'm gonna go get something to drink, you want?" You asked Jun and Vernon, as you got off the couch.
They both shook their heads, making you nod slightly before walking over to the kitchen.
Aa you were pouring yourself a glass of water, you didn't realise someone was right behind you, until you bumped into their chest.
"Can't you see where your walking?" You muttered at Seungcheol, moving away from him to place the glass on the kitchen island.
He hugged you from the back, his fingernails digging into your skin.
"You...have had quite the attitude with me lately, where is this coming from...hm?" He whispered darkly in your ear, as you looked at the guys to make sure they weren't looking.
"Nowhere..and what attitude, just cuz I told you to watch where your walking?" You scoffed, trying to keep your composure when you felt his teeth graze your earlobe.
"Don't act smart with me, you know what I'm talking about," he spat, making you smile.
He bought one of his hands down to your clothed core, while the other stayed firm against your waist.
"Was it nice warming up with Jun sweetheart?" He asked rather softly, but you knew all to well not to answer such a question....but today, you would.
"Of course it was, he was so warm and cuddly I just wanted to sleep in his arms," you sighed, pretending to be day dreaming.
He turned you around suddenly, pushing you against the counter.
"I told you before, do not push me, right? I don't know why you're being so bold today but keep stepping over the line and I'll make sure you really regret it," he growled, towering over you easily.
"Look cheolie...I don't know what your talking about but I'm really just being friendly, your just overreacting," you said, rolling your eyes.
His grip on your waist tightened to the point where you winced.
"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He asked lowly, making you smirk.
"Yeah, I did, so what?" You asked irritatedly.
"Okay that's it. Get that pretty little ass of yours inside my room, now," he spat, making you scoff in disbelief.
"And what? You really think I'm just going to obey you like some puppet, go away cheolie," you smiled, kissing his cheek before pushing him away.
You smiled to yourself as you saw his shocked expression, and just as you were about to walk away, he grabbed your wrist.
"Then behave...next time, I won't be asking, I'll be dragging you myself," he warned, letting go off your wrist.
You scoffed, taking a sip off your water walking back to sit next to Jun again.
"He's still singing?" You whispered to Jun as you watched Seungkwan in shock.
"Yep...and next up is Soonyoung," Jun replied, sighing in annoyance.
While watching Seungkwan completely loose himself to a bunch of girl group songs, you saw Seungcheol from the corner of your eyes come and sit down next to you.
"Hey baby," he whispered near your ear, like you weren't just talking a few mere minutes ago.
He kissed your cheek before sitting back comfortably against the couch, his hand coming up to rest on your thigh, something he always did as a way to show you he was there- or at times like this, to just remind Jun that your boyfriend was right there.
A smile made its way to your mouth as you realised what he was doing.
You turned to look at him, before moving a little closer to his ear.
"Awh is cheolie scared Jun will take me from you?" You whispered, before looking away and back to Seungkwan, who was still dancing.
"Everyone here knows you belong to me, love, but I think your the one that needs a reminder," he whispered back with his jaw clenched.
You chuckled as you rested your head on Jun's shoulder, scooting more closer to him.
"Your really warm, Jun," you said, loud enough so Seungcheol would hear.
Jun smiled, figuring out exactly what you were trying to do, and he was happy to help...how could he ever say no to a chance of pissing off someone like choi seungcheol?
"Are you cold? It must be his hoodie that isn't keeping you that warm..I have this really warm one that would look so cute on you," Jun said, making you smirk mentally.
"Really? Can I wear-"
You words were stuck in your throat when you felt Seungcheol's grip on your thigh tighten, but you quickly cleared your throat.
"Yeah of course, I'll go get it for you," Jun said, making you push Seungcheol's hand off your thigh before getting up.
"Sit down," Seungcheol suddenly said, just as you were about to follow Jun to his room.
You leaned down, pecking his neck before answering. "Stop being so jealous baby, I just want to wear something warmer."
His eyes narrowed on you, as you heard him grit his teeth. "You want something warm, then let's head to bed."
You chuckled lowly, bringing your hand up to ruffle his hair before pulling at his cheeks.
"I don't want your dick, cheol," you deadpanned, before walking away.
Just as you got to Jun's room, he had already got out the hoodie he was talking about.
"Here, you can change in the bathroom if you want," he said, handing the hood to you.
You nodded your head before walking to his bathroom, and locking the door behind you.
Taking off Seungcheol's hoodie, you frowned a little, knowing he could be hurt that you took off his favorite hoodie that he wanted you to wear, just so you could play around with him.
Shaking your head, you decided to just go with it, knowing he most likely won't mind since he probably knows your just trying to get him worked up.
you should've stopped there.
You fixed your hair after putting on Jun's hoodie, loving the way it suited you, and even though Seungcheol's hoodie was keeping you warm, this one was too.
"Wow you look amazing in it," Jun complimented, as you came out of the bathroom.
"Thank you, I love it!"
He smiled at you before the both of you walked out of the door and back to the living room.
You threw Seungcheol's hoodie to his face, making Jun and Vernon laugh.
"You have guts I admire," Vernon complimented you, as Seungcheol slowly pulled the hoodie away from his face, his angry eyes throwing daggers to your amused ones.
"You fucking did not," he drawled, making you smile at him innocently.
"What? I wanted to wear it," you said, flicking your hair as you went back to sit in between Jun and Seungcheol.
Seungcheol sighed angrily, his fingers curling into fists. He always loved that you wore his clothes, because he could smell himself all over you, but now that you wore Jun's, he wanted nothing more than to rip it off your body.
"What's wrong Seungcheol, you don't look well," you asked innocently, grabbing his arm and snuggling into him purposely, knowing he could smell Jun on you.
"Stop," he warned, making you smile.
"Alright, I'll leave you alone then," you said, pulling away from him and hugging Jun, leaning your head on his chest.
"Hey Jun, do you want to sing together?" You asked, as Jun looked at you.
"Yeah of course, let's join them," he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up.
You both started joining in on the song Seungkwan and Soonyoung were so immersed in, as you forced Vernon to join aswell.
"Cheolie come join us," you said, turning to look at him.
He didn't respond, just looked at you blankly, but you knew he was burning in anger.
You bit your lip, wondering if you really had just crossed over the line, you knew far too well that when Seungcheol got angry he was brutal and merciless.
Just to be safe, you walked over to him and sat on his lap before pecking his cheek.
"You okay?" you asked carefully, massaging his tensed shoulders.
"Don't suck up to me now, you've pissed me off well enough already...I'm holding you responsible for this, not him," he growled, his eyes never leaving yours.
"It was a joke cheol, lighten up," you mumbled, slightly getting worried for yourself.
"Get off my lap and go enjoy your fun while you can," he whispered darkly, making a shiver run down your spine.
You hesitantly got off, giving him a small smile before turning around and walking back to the guys.
Seungcheol's words echoed in your mind while you sang and danced, and as much as you tried to ignore them, they only made you grow anxious, but also a little excited.
go enjoy your fun while you can
You knew you should've tried harder and maybe even apologised, but the look he gave you when he told you to get off his lap was enough to make you obey without even a second to loose.
While you were busy in your thoughts, you didn't hear Jun call your name, until he carried you up suddenly making you squeal.
"You seemed zoned out so I wanted to wake you up," he said, laughing at your shaken expression.
"God you scared m-"
"Put her down," Seungcheol's deep voice made everyone stop moving, as they turned to look at him.
"Relax we're just having fun," Jun said, holding you tighter as you wrapped your hands around his neck to support yourself.
"Just put her down hyung," Seungkwan whispered, as I looked at Jun.
"It's okay Jun you can put me down," I said, we were so close I could feel his hot breath against my skin.
"Okay this is my queue I'm suddenly tired, good night guys," Vernon said, giving me a smile before running off to his room.
Jun smiled at you, before turning to look at Seungcheol.
"And what if I don't want to?" He asked, raising one of his eyebrows at him.
Seungcheol got up, making you bite your lip as you realised this wasn't going to end well.
He put his hands in his pockets as he stood right in front of you guys. Seungcheol was beyond angry at this point, and mostly just pissed off at this moment with how his younger member was talking back to him, he wasn't going to let that happen.
"I think you've forgotten your place, but I'll ask you once more...let.her.go," Seungcheol drawled, his low dominant tone sending shivers down your spine.
"Jun," you called softly, patting him on the chest.
He sighed, nodding his head before putting you down slowly before Seungcheol grabbed your wrist roughly, pulling you to his side.
"Hey! Be careful!" You mumbled, trying to pull away from his grasp, but he only tightened it.
"That's enough for one night, it's already past 12, everyone go to bed," Seungcheol said sternly, making Seungkwan and Soonyoung nod, before turning the TV off. As much as they wanted to continue singing, they knew better than to annoy their leader when he already seemed so on edge.
"Look I'm sorry, okay? We were just messing around...she's yours and I know that," Jun said, patting Seungcheol's shoulder before winking your way.
"Goodnight guys," he added, before walking away.
You swallowed harshly when you heard Jun's room door open and close. Seungcheol was still not saying anything to you, but you could feel the anger radiating off him, as he was still looking straight ahead.
"Now you...." He trailed off, finally meeting eyes with you.
You bit your bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to dash out of the apartment before he could say anything more.
"Get your ass in my room before I drag you there myself," he spat, his voice laced with authority.
He let go of your wrist, making you rub the sore area as you nodded your head.
You feet walked for themselves as your mind clouded with nothing but regret, why did you even think of this stupid idea again?
You knew Seungcheol was right behind you from his heavy steps and slow breathing, his eyes burning holes into your back.
Once you were in his room, you heard the door shut behind you, before the faint sound of the lock perked your ears.
You didn't dare turn around, as you kept your eyes to the ground, not knowing how to get out of this situation.
should've thought this through huh.
You thought to yourself, before you were forced to shoo away your thoughts when you heard Seungcheol clear his throat.
"Turn around."
You did as he said, hoping he'd forgive you if you at least listened to him now.
"How long did you wanna keep that act up, hm?" He asked, as you looked down at your entwined fingers.
"I-I was j-just-"
"Look at me when I'm talking to you," he drawled, making you look up at him slowly.
"I was just messing with you cheol, I didn't think you would take it that seriously," you bravely said, making Seungcheol nod.
"Hmm..well didn't I warn you before not to fuck around with me like that?" He shot, making you bite your bottom lip, not knowing how to answer him.
"Y-Yes....yes you did...I-I'm sorry," you whispered, trying your hardest not to look away from him.
He sighed irritatedly, eyeing you head to toe.
"Take it off."
"Huh?" You asked dumbly, making Seungcheol swallow harshly, his adam's apple bobbing up and down.
"Take off his hoodie," he spat, making you slowly nod.
You bought your shaky fingers to the hem of the hoodie, playing with it slightly.
"For fucks sake hurry up, or I'm gonna have to rip it off myself."
You quickly pulled it over your head, throwing it to the couch in his room before you covered yourself with your arms, feeling a little conscious since you were only wearing a bra inside.
"Good."
He started slowly walking to you, making you take a step back as you watched him unbutton the first few buttons on his shirt.
"Never, ever let me catch you wearing any of their clothes ever again, understood?" He drawled, a hand coming up to caress your cheek.
"O-Okay," you mumbled, as his hand on your cheek went down to your neck.
"So, why did you decide to piss me off so much today, love?" His voice was somewhat calm, which was starting to freak you out.
"I-I..."
"Loss of words I see? Well let me tell you what I think then.."
He pulled you closer to him, his hand caressing the back of your neck.
"Was it because you suddenly felt the need to get me angry just so you could laugh about it later?...well whose laughing now sweetheart?" He mused, chuckling at your facial expression.
"Or maybe it was because you knew, once you were done and we were alone...I'd fuck all the right senses into you, have you screaming while I showed you no mercy whatsoever.."
You bit back a whine at his words, the dominance in his voice shooting right down to your throbbing pussy.
"You knew god damn well not to piss me off like that, fuck around with my friends like a fucking whore while I was right.there...what did you get out of that anyways?" He spat angrily.
You kept quiet, which only pissed him off further. "Answer me."
"I-I...don't know...I just wanted to..a-annoy you..." You trailed off, your breath getting caught in your throat when he wrapped his fingers around your neck.
"Well darling...you definetly did get something out of it....and it's not going to be fun for you," he growled, his grip on your neck tightening.
"I-I'm sorry.....I-I w-won't d-do it a-again," you stuttered out, holding onto his hand on your throat.
"Oh you won't, and I'll make sure of it," he spat, before letting you go and dropping his arms to the side.
He moved away from you and sat down on the edge of his bed, before calling you over with his finger.
"Come here princess."
You swallowed harshly, before walking over to him slowly. You stood in front of him, waiting for his next order.
"Take off your...my pants," he said, watching you closely.
You slowly bent down, pulling his sweatpants down your body before shaking it off your feet.
"Good....now I want you over my lap."
Your eyes widened, knowing exactly what that meant.
"Cheol, look, I'm sorry and-"
"I said, over. my. lap," he repeated sternly, making you swallow harshly.
You climbed over his lap, your limbs starting to shake when he placed one of his big warm hands over your ass, smoothing over it.
"You've...made it quiet the habit to disobey me...especially in front of my friends...and I am fucking sick of it...but you won't do it again, right baby?" He asked you softly, his hands pulling at your ass, avoiding the area you needed him the most.
"Y-Yes I won't..I won't do it again, I promise," your lips quivered, bracing for the impact.
It was silent for a while, before you felt his palm make contact with your ass harshly, causing you to lurch forward with a cry leaving your lips.
"Yeah that's right, be as loud as you can, rooms soundproof remember?..but I think you would've loved it if it wasn't hey?" He drawled, smacking you once again.
"Sh-shit!" You bit your lip, as you felt the strong burning sensation spread.
"Did you enjoy warming up to another man right in front of me?" Seungcheol growled, before smacking your ass once again, this time to the other cheek.
You groaned in pain, your elbows giving out, making you land face first onto the mattress.
"Answer when you are spoken to slut."
You turned your face to the side, looking up at him. "N-No I d-didn't."
"And will you ever do it again?" He spat, his hand soothing the red skin.
"Depends," you mumbled, smirking devilishly as you looked up at him.
His clenched his jaw, as his hands crawled up your skin and to your hair, pulling on it as you screamed.
"Guess I'll have to keep going until I get a satisfied answer from you then."
Your eyes shut tightly as another hard hit landed on your already aching cheeks.
It only got worse from there, as his hits got harder, and faster, as you cried in pain.
Your lower body suddenly felt numb, as Seungcheol stopped.
"Now try again....will you ever let a man that close to you ever again?"
You shook your head vigorously, "N-No never."
Seungcheol chuckled, his grip tightening on your hair.
"Good." He whispered, dragging his finger down your clothed core, chuckling deeply at how wet you were.
"What a fucking slut...are you seriously wet from this?"
You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as you refused to look at him.
"Or are you wet from flirting with Jun from before," he drawled, pulling your panties down roughly.
You didn't reply, which only made Seungcheol angrier as he spanked you again, making more tears fill your eyes.
"Tell me...while you flirt with other men and get close to them...do you at least remember who you belong to?" He asked, another loud smack landing on the same area as the last two.
You moaned loudly, finally feeling the pain subside a little as you only had the diritest thoughts running in your head now..but of course, your boyfriend had other plans.
He scoffed, "No answer, let's see if you'll talk after this."
Two of his fingers found your dripping entrance, before pushing into you roughly without any warning.
You mewled at the feeling of his thick fingers sliding into your walls, as you gripped the sheets below you.
"I'm not gonna move my fingers until you speak princess."
You groaned loudly, trying to push yourself on his fingers since he wasn't going to do it for you anytime soon, but as soon as you tried, he gripped your hair tighter.
"Don't even think about it. Now answer me."
"God Seungcheol, yes! I-I do remember who I b-belong t-to," you moaned out, when he added a third finger.
"Mmmh....you sure, cuz it didn't look like you thought of me before..." He trailed off, taking his fingers out of you before pulling your panties back on.
"Why-"
Your whine got stuck in your throat when he landed another hard slap on your ass, making you jolt forward in surprise.
"I don't like lies princess," he growled, rubbing your cheeks as you felt your sticky substance spread all over your ass.
"I-I d-did....think o-of you," you whined, wanting nothing more than his fingers stuffed back in your pussy.
"No, you didn't...cuz if you did you wouldn't have done any of that in the first place," he spat, before he smacked you once again.
A moan left your lips, as you bit your lip to stop any other sound from escaping, as Seungcheol tsked.
"Oh? I see my little slut has started enjoying this, thats not good."
In seconds he had pulled you up by your hair, making you stand on your wobbling legs as he let go off you.
"On your knees, hands behind your back."
You did as you were told as you looked up, watching Seungcheol pull down his sweatpants along with his boxers.
One of his hands found purchase in your hair as he pulled you closer. "You've found ways to piss me off the entire day, your smart remarks, talking back to me...so lets finally put that dirty mouth of yours to good use hm?"
You swallowed harshly, nodding your head as your eyes fell on his red tip, that already had a little bit of pre-cum dripping down.
"Remember, no touching, and if I see your legs give out even a little....I won't be nice," He growled, gripping your hair tighter as his other hand guided his cock to your closed lips.
He opened his mouth, signalling you to do the same thing.
You gulped, knowing he wasn't going to go soft on you by the angry look in his eyes that still hadn't faded. You opened your mouth slowly as Seungcheol almost instantly pushed himself into you.
You gagged around him when you felt him hit the back of your throat, your mouth stretching beyond comfort as he used your mouth without any mercy.
"Look up at me, I wanna see my cock in your mouth properly," he rasped out, as you moaned around his length.
You looked up, watching how his eyes stared at you so intensely that you almost felt enchanted by them, the beads of sweat rolling down his face his expression filled with pure pleasure. But you were bought back to reality when you felt Seungcheol push more of his length down your throat as you choked around him, tears starting to fill your eyes.
"L-Look at you now princess, not so strong anymore hm? God this is the only good thing your mouth can do," he spat, before a long moan left his lips when you hallowed your cheeks, sucking on him.
You wanted to touch him, so badly, especially since you knew your legs couldn't support you much longer, but it would only anger him more so you tried your best to stand up straight as he fucked into your mouth much faster.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck....you take me in so well babygirl..just like that, I'm close," he groaned, gripping your hair tighter as you felt his cock twitch in your mouth.
He went faster as you whimpered slightly, your mouth starting to burn at his rough movements. He pushed you forward right down to his pelvic bone, making you let out the most sinful sounds.
After what felt like hours of his torture on you, he finally released in your mouth, some of it sliding straight down your throat before he pulled your head back, more of his cum hitting your tongue.
He pulled out of you, giving you the look that told you to swallow everything.
Your chest heaved up and down as you swallowed, the strong salty substance making your body tingle.
"Open your mouth, I wanna see it all gone," he asked, his own breathing erratic as he looked down at you.
You opened you mouth, sticking your tongue out, earning a moan of appreciation from your boyfriend.
"Good."
You looked up at him with half lidded eyes, silently telling him to let you get up as your knees started burning, along with your aching ass that still tingled in pain.
"You're so messy," he cooed, wiping the saliva mixed with his cum that was all over your mouth and chin with his hand.
He pulled you up by your hair, making you yelp in surprise."You were so good for me...but don't think I didn't notice your legs waver," he whispered darkly, making your eyes widen.
"Ch-Cheol I-I-"
"On the bed, legs spread out," he commanded, cutting you off.
"B-But Seungcheol I...my knees s-started getting uncomf-"
"Are you really going to make me repeat that again?" He growled, eyeing you angrily.
You swallowed harshly, shaking your head before moving away from him, your shaky hands and legs moving down to lay on the bed, as you hesitantly spread your legs a little, barely.
Seungcheol watched you with predatorial eyes, scoffing at you.
"I said, spread your legs," he spoke through gritted teeth, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he watched you while he rolled the sleeves of his button up.
You hesitantly spread your legs even further your drenched clothed core on full display to Seungcheol's hungry eyes.
"I want it all coming off your body," he said, pointing to your bra and panties.
You were quick to comply, starting with unclasping your bra before throwing it to the side, before you pulled down your panties, flicking it to the side.
"I haven't even touched you properly, yet your soaked," He said, tilting his head to the side a little, his eyes trained on your dripping entrance, making you shut your thighs tightly together out of reflex.
"Ah, ah, ah....spread them out," he warned, making you bite your bottom lip, as you slowly spread your legs once again.
"Now, touch yourself."
You were shocked at his words, Seungcheol never let you touch yourself...so you knew something was up.
You looked at him with slightly widened eyes.
"A-Are you serious?"
"Was I speaking in french?" He shot boredly, making you gulp as you shook your head.
You bought your fingers down to your seeping entrance, glancing at Seungcheol once before dipping one of your fingers in.
You moaned softly, adding a second finger when you realised it wasn't enough, as you started a slow pace.
"Go faster," Seungcheol's deep voice reminded you he was still in the room, as you looked over at him with hazy eyes.
You went faster, throwing your head back as you moaned over and over again, forgetting everything around you as you just focused on making yourself cum.
You felt your walls clench around your fingers, as you let out a long moan, the coil in your stomache threatening to snap.
And just as you were about to come undone, your fingers were yanked out of you.
"Seungcheol!" You almost screamed, shaking your legs around as he chuckled.
"Go again."
You hurriedly stuffed your fingers back in once he let go off your wrist, slowly building up the pleasure once again. You bought your free hand down to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves to bring you closer to the edge, the need to cum growing stronger by the second.
You worked your fingers harder, moaning and shaking as you came all around your fingers. Your breathing was uneven as you closed your eyes, completely sated.
Your happy mood was quickly ripped away when Seungcheol grabbed your thighs.
"Did you enjoy that sweetheart?" He asked sweetly, but you knew better.
He ran his thumb down your gushing entrance, making you shiver.
"Yes..."
"Yes what?" He growled, pushing in four of his fingers into you at once as you groaned.
"Yes....d-daddy," you moaned out breathlessly.
"Hmm...so much cum," he whispered, nuzzling his nose into your folds.
He lapped up the cum that had seeped out of your hole while he started moving his fingers in you, making you moan softly, your fingers tangling in his hair.
He looked up at you, his lips glistening in your essence as he glared at you.
"No touching," he mumbled, making you nod before letting go off him to grip the sheets underneath you.
Just as you felt your release was close, Seungcheol pulled his fingers out of you, before crawling over your body as he licked his fingers clean.
You whined as you clenched around nothing, feeling empty without his fingers.
"Don't worry baby, you'll have something in your pussy in no time," one of his hands came up to circle around your throat, while the other stayed firm against your hip.
"Now I'm going to tell you exactly what I'm going to do to you, and your going to listen alright?"
You nodded your head, as Seungcheol's grip on your throat tightened.
"Words, love," he warned.
"Y-Yes....daddy," you half moaned when you felt his lips graze your hardened nipple.
"I'm going to fuck you hard, tire you out so much to the point where you'll be begging me to stop...'cause that's what dirty whores like you want right? Well I'll gladly give it to you," he growled, flipping you over suddenly so you were laying on your back, your ass in the air.
"D-Don't be r-rough," you stuttered out, a shiver running down your spine when you felt the tip of his cock slowly circle your tight rim.
"You really thought I was going to go soft on you after that little stunt?" He asked, groping your ass as he spat in his other hand, rubbing it all over his cock as extra lubricant. He pushed his tip into you without warning, making you cry out for more.
"I see my little sluts getting impatient, hm?" He mused from behind you, before he landed a hit on your right cheek, making you hang your head down, moaning loudly.
"Seungcheol please," You groaned, as you tried to push yourself back on his cock, but he was quick to grip your hips, stopping your movements.
"Your not going to get it that easy...beg for it, slut," he spat, another smack landing on your ass.
"Daddy please.....I want you so bad," you whined, swaying your hips a little.
"Why should I give you what you want when all you've been doing tonight is disobeying me?"
"I-I'll be good, I p-promise...ch-cheol, please," you moaned out, as you felt your arousal drip down your thighs and onto the sheets
"You really are such a needy whore, you know that? You flirt with other guys, pretend like I can't see what your doing....and now your shamelessly begging me to fuck you?"
"N-No...all I want is y-you," you stuttered out, all shame leaving your mind, as the only thing that was running through your mind was Seungcheol fucking you.
He growled lowly before pushing into you completely, filling your ass to the brim.
"Fuck....d-daddy you feel so good," you moaned out, as your hands that were keeping you up finally gave out, as your face landed on the pillow.
"Such a whore...get up and look at me."
You did as he said, getting back up on your shaking arms before turning back to look at him. His jaw was clenched down, and the look he had in his eyes was enough to show you how much of a deep hole you were in.
"Tell me...could Jun or any other guy fuck you like this?" He growled, as he pulled out of you before slamming back into you with force.
You broke eye contact with him, as you hit the pillow below you once again from the impact.
"Answer me, or I'll stop," he warned, making you whine.
"N-No, cheol....n-no o-one c-could," you somehow made out, even with you mind all over the place, the only thng you could focus on being Seungcheol.
"Yeah thats right, no one could use you like I fucking do," he spat, smacking your ass harshly, making you choke on your moans.
His movements went rougher, as you felt the tears of pleasure blur your sight. "Ch-cheol, go s-slower."
You felt his hand wrap around your throat, before he pulled you up roughly, your back hitting his chest as your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the angle his cock was hitting you.
"Your in no position to be telling me what to do, so I suggest you just take what I give you, I'm pissed off as it is," he growled in your ear, before his lips found your neck, biting down on your sensitive skin.
A scream left your throat as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten, feeling your release was close.
"Cum only when I tell you to," he whispered in your ear, before placing kisses on your cheek, which shocked you at his sudden softness.
"All mine, your entire body belongs to me...right babygirl?" He asked sweetly, snapping his hips harshly as you heard him grunt into your ear.
"Y-Yes...sh-shit cheol you feel so g-good," you cried out, the tears rolling down your face as you shook uncontrollably.
"I can feel you clenching, don't you dare cum," he warned, as his grip tightened on your throat, making you a little dizzy.
Tons of moans slipped from your lips, as you threw your head back onto Seungcheol's chest, screaming out his name.
Seungcheol's free hand went down your stomach, before his fingers slipped through your wet folds.
You let out a guttural moan, shaking your head as Seungcheol pressed hard circles into your clit.
"I-I need....to..c-cum plea-"
"Not yet, this is your punishment for not behaving properly...so if you want to make it worse for you, by all means...cum all you want like the slut you are," he seethed, before his lips went back to sucking dark purple and red marks into your neck.
"Cheol please!" You screamed, and without any other warning you felt yourself fall over the edge, the pleasure washing over you in waves as you moaned loudly, your body shaking.
Seungcheol growled angrily, pulling his fingers away from your clit before pushing you down on the bed harshly.
"Now your really pissing me off," he spat, pulling out of you as you sighed in content, letting your eyes close as you relaxed on the mattress.
He flipped you around, his fingers running down your entrance.
"Didn't I tell you not to cum yet?" He asked, eyes flaring at you.
You looked at him lazily. "I c-couldn't take it...I'm s-sorry."
"A sorry isn't going to fix this baby," he smiled at you, grabbing your thighs and pulling you towards him.
"Since my little whore can't seem to do as she's told, I'm willing to let you go on this one..."
"W-What?" You stuttered out.
"Since you want to cum so badly, let's see how much you can until you can't take it anymore," he smiled devilishly, as you felt the tip of his cock rub your folds.
A quiet moan left your lips, as you snaked your arms around Seungcheol's neck.
"Your not allowed to touch me, hands above your head," he spat, making you whine.
"Why baby...you love it when I touch you don't you?" You asked with a pout, your fingers raking down his arms.
"You don't deserve to touch me," he shot, grabbing your wrists and placing them above your head.
"Keep them there."
You nodded your head slowly, licking your lips as Seungcheol's eyes travelled to yours, before trailing down to your lips.
He wanted to kiss you, so badly, but he wasn't going to give in to you. Just the thought of Jun touching you was enough to have his blood boiling and all self control leaving him.
"Gonna fuck you so good, you'll think of this everytime you do so much as think of touching another man," he growled in your ear, before he slammed up into you roughly.
You groaned from the stretch, your walls sucking in his cock slowly as he moaned from above you.
"Shit fuck your still so tight," he hoarsed out, his lips finding your right nipple, before he had it between his teeth.
You felt him fill you to the brim, balls deep as you moaned into his ear from the feeling of being so full.
"Your hands are staying there, remember," he warned, making you nod as he completely pulled out, before pushing back into you.
Your fingers curled into fists as you moaned over and over again, Seungcheol's pace going faster by the seconds passing.
His lips bit into the sensitive flesh just under your collarbones, making you scream.
"Cheol what the fuck that hurt you idiot!" You angrily said, pushing his face away. Seungcheol was quick at becoming very aggressive when you guys normally had sex, especially if he was stressed or in a bad mood...or very pissed off at something you did like right now.
One of his hands left your hip to tangle in your hair, as he pulled on it, ignoring your angry eyes as he bit his lip, snapping his hips up into you.
You shook furiously, your orgasm quickly approaching as you threw your head back, tons of moans escaping your mouth.
"You enjoy being fucked like this doll? You love it when I use you like this don't you?" He asked, his mouth parting as you heard the ragged breaths that left his lips as he didn't slow his pace down. You nodded furiously, moaning out his name as you felt your release was close.
"Words."
"Y-Yes...yes I-I do, I l-love it!" You whimpered, your mind going blank as you could only focus on Seungcheol abusing your walls, and the sinful sounds leaving his mouth.
"Sh-shit cheol...y-you need to s-slow d-down," you somehow made out, as you felt him twitch inside you.
Seungcheol moaned into your ear, his hand in your hair loosening as he gripped your hips instead, his fingernails digging into your skin.
He ignored your words, his mouth sucking colorful marks into your neck as you cried out his name.
"Gonna fill you full of my cum, until it has no choice but to drip out of you...and then I'm  gonna fuck it back into you," he whispered darkly, another heavenly groan leaving his lips.
"That should teach a whore like you to remember who she belongs to," he added, looking at you right in the eye.
His eyes were a few shades darker than usual, the lust and hunger evident in them as he bit his lips.
"Open your mouth."
You did as you were told, staying quiet as he pushed in three of his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them happily, rolling your tongue around each digit before he was pulling them out.
"God your so hot," he muttered, bringing his coated fingers to your clit, before he started rubbing you roughly.
A garbled moan left your mouth as you came all over his cock, shaking in pure ecstasy while he rode out your orgasm.
He came soon after with a few more thrusts, his hot liquid filling you up as you shuddered from the warmth, closing your tired eyes.
You thought he was done when he started shifting and pulled out of you, but you were too tired to open your heavy eyelids to see. He placed one of your thighs over his shoulder, making your eyes shoot up.
"W-Wait what are you doing?"
"Who ever said I was done with you princess?" He asked, kissing your thigh before he was pushing into you once again.
"N-not more ch-cheol...I-I can't," you breathlessly moaned, the new angle making your insides tingle as you eyes rolled to the back of your head.
He snapped his hips, pounding into you deeply as he let out grunts and moans every now and then.
"Of course you can take more, that's what my slut is used for right? Taking what daddy gives her like a good girl."
"Please Seungcheol...n-no," your head started spinning as you lost all clear mind on what was happening, the pleasure being too much to handle.
"You love cumming like a little desperate slut without my permission, right? So come on, keep cumming, I'm not going to stop anytime soon."
Your eyes widened, was he serious?
The anger in his eyes was enough to give you the answer, he was genuinely still mad and you knew you had to make up for it.
"Ch-cheol...I'm s-sorry...s-so sorry I won't d-do that e-ever a-..again," you breathed out, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt the pleasure shake through your body as you came once again.
"Told you I'd make you beg.." He trailed off with a chuckle, as his fingers thread through you hair.
"Tell me...who do you belong to slut?"
"Y-You....y-you Seungcheol!" You screamed, tears spilling from your eyes.
"That's right...your all for me, and me alone...am I understood?" He growled, making you nod your head feverishly.
"Yes...y-yes, yes," you mumbled, your thighs shaking violently as Seungcheol fucked you through your orgasm, the oversensitivity causing you to cry out for him to stop.
"I-It h-hurts stop!" You sobbed out, looking up at him through bleary eyes. His eyes bore back into yours with nothing but lust, as he continued his pace without any mercy on you.
The pleasure mixed with slight pain at his rough movements, leaving you breathless, unable to move, and shocked that he still had so much stamina to keep going.
you really had hit the wrong nerve tonight, one you don't think you'll ever risk touching ever again.
He placed your thigh back on the mattress, before his fingers went down to your aching pussy, before he started rubbing tight circles into your clit, abusing the already swollen nub. A sudden wave of sensitivity hit you, as you came once again, throwing your head back as you whimpered.
His lips leaned down to lick and suck at your neck, making sure to paint as many marks as he could so you wouldn't be able to cover it the next morning.
"Think of this, think of this very moment every time you decide to get under my skin," he growled in your ear, before he moaned lowly, ropes of his cum filling you up once again.
He pulled out completely, a sigh leaving your lips as you looked down at him, as he watched his cum mixed with your own leak out of your hole, as you clenched around nothing.
"You look so pretty stuffed with my cum princess...makes me feel like fucking you like this all night," he moaned, swiping his thumb up and down your entrance, loving the way you squirmed under his touch and how more of his cum only oozed out, dripping onto the sheets.
He bought his fingers to your mouth, forcing them in as you sucked them clean of his cum.
"Want more?" He asked, bringing his fingers back down to your entrance, pushing them into you and collecting more of his liquid.
You nodded your head, knowing you would only anger him if you didn't accept it.
"Now that's my good girl...you always need me fucking the right senses into you, don't you? Because now your being so perfect...just how I like it," he nuzzled his nose into your neck, as you sucked on his fingers.
He entered you again, making you look at him in shock as he took his fingers out of your mouth.
"N-No....not again," your voice broke as Seungcheol kissed your cheek lovingly.
"Just one more princess...one more and thats it I promise."
He connected his lips to yours as he started moving his hips, his fingers going down to play with your clit. He pinched the nub between his fingers, as you felt yourself get lost in pleasure once again.
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The next morning you woke up early, even though you had slept pretty late- well more like passed out.
Even in your shaken and aching state last night, you remembered Seungcheol carrying you into his bathroom and running you a warm bath as he joined you. He had whispered sweet nothings into your ear, apologising over and over again if he had been too rough on you as he cleaned you up.
After a long bath, he tucked you into bed before snuggling with you.
You smiled at the memory, as you finished tying your hair up. You walked out of the bathroom, your eyes falling on a still sleeping cheol, his fluffy hair all over his face and his mouth slightly agape, soft breaths falling from his full lips.
Giggling quietly, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table before walking out of his room slowly.
The morning light shone through the windows into the dorm room, as you limped into the kitchen, you needed something hot, preferably tea to ease your aching muscles.
"Good morning," you heard Jun's voice, breaking the silence around the dorm.
"Morning," you said back, turning to look at him as you placed your tea bag in the cup of hot water.
"Your up early," he mumbled, yawning loudly as he stretched, making you giggle.
"Yeah...I got hungry...you want some tea?" You asked, pointing to your cup, making him shake his head.
"Nah it's okay, I just want some milk," he replied, walking to the fridge.
"Morning baby," you heard from behind you, making you jump a little.
You turned around, smiling once your eyes laid on Seungcheol's warm ones. Although you were a bit anxious to be near him especially when Jun was there, you still hugged him, before pecking his lips.
"Morning," you whispered, letting go of him as you turned back around to finish your tea.
"Good Morning Jun," Seungcheol said before wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind.
You winced as his arms pressed into your aching skin, but you tried to ignore it.
"Morning hyung....slept well?" He asked, winking at Seungcheol before pouring himself a glass of milk.
"Very well, how about you?" He replied, kissing your neck shamelessly in front of him, making you squirm in his touch, your cheeks heating up.
"Yeah pretty good..." He trailed off, throwing a sly smirk at the both of you before putting his empty glass in the sink.
"Well I'm off to get some groceries, before the others come home to kill me...it's my turn for this week," Jun said, making you laugh.
"Wanna come?" He asked you, tilting his head a little.
You were about to reply yes but Seungcheol bet you to it.
"I'm taking her out somewhere so sorry, she can't come," he said, making Jun shrug.
"Okay, have fun guys..and Y/N...maybe wear something else," he added, before walking towards the door.
You looked down at Seungcheol's hoodie that you were wearing, your eyes growing bigger when you realised it failed to cover all the marks on your neck.
Seungcheol chuckled, nuzzling his face into your neck making you laugh as it tickled you softly.
"Hey cheol...were you serious about going out?" You asked, as you felt him place kisses all over your neck.
"Yeah I was...I have a place in mind, your going to love it," he said, before kissing your cheek.
"Alright, but first can we go to my apartment so I can get some decent clothes?" You asked, making Seungcheol chuckle, his dimples on full display.
"Yeah your right let's go."
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Text
Meeting and Dating J.D.
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(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous and @poruchik-logy​)
(Sorry about the inactivity lately. With the holidays coming up, I’ve been a bit busy. Plus, I’ve written a post or two on my other blogs which means no post on this one. Anyways, hope you enjoy!)
- You meet J.D. when he transfers to your school. You’re in study hall when you just so happen to look up and make eye contact with the boy while glancing around the room. 
- For the rest of the period, you feel like someone's watching you, and lo and behold, every time you sneak a glance his way, his eyes are on you. He doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he was looking, he just raises an eyebrow at you when you turn and meet his gaze. 
- You spot him in the lunchroom later that day and ask your friends about him though they don’t have much information besides his name and where he moved from which they got from one of their teachers forcing him to introduce himself to the class. He was a mystery …and boy were you intrigued. 
- You have your first conversation at the local Snappy Snack Shack. You’d just popped in to grab a little junk food, only to find him stalking through the store in his black trench coat. You figured you’d dance around each other until one of you left but before you knew it, he’d sauntered up to you and interjected that you looked familiar. 
- Before you knew it, the two of you had introduced yourselves and began a sort of flirtatious conversation. He bought you a slushy and offered you a ride home on his bike which you coyly accepted after a moment of nervous hesitation. 
- It was that same night that he returned to your house, rapping at your window and damn near giving you a heart attack. Even though it was terrifying at first, it was also sort of endearing and you soon found yourself joining him outside.
- Now, It’s your choice whether or not you sleep together that night. If you do then consider yourself kissed and claimed from then on. If you don’t, he’ll continue to show up at your house or hang around you at school until he gets what he wants. You. 
- You suppose that your first date happened at the Snack Shack so from then on, the two of you were sort of seeing each other. Well, one of his favorite things to do with you is not be at home so the two of you were hanging out in an empty lot.
- The sun went down and you were sitting in the dark, the glow of the moon being the only thing lighting up your date. You were sitting down and he was lingering on his feet somewhere behind him, sorta pacing from what you could hear. 
- He knelt down beside you and you turned your head to look at him, only to immediately get pulled into a kiss that all but had you melt into the floor. It was passionate and somewhat rough, exactly what you’d expect from him. And you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
- Well, he most certainly isn’t letting you go after that. I hope you like him babe because you’re not getting rid of him anytime soon. 
- This man is fully willing to makeout with you in public. So yeah, there’s a lot of Pda.
- His hands are pretty much on you at all times.
- Pecks on the lips. He loves when you just give him a kiss for no reason at all.
- Rough, passionate kisses. He asserts his dominance by hooking his arms around you and pulling you into a searing kiss until you can’t breathe.
- He definitely calls you “woman” and a ton of other pet names ranging from cute to just plain annoying. 
- He never would have imagined a girl like you would actually put up with him for so long …but boy is he thankful you have.
- He’s a little shit and that’s just something you’ll have to live with. He’s blunt, conniving and sarcastic, but he does care about you.
- He pretends like he doesn’t give a shit a lot of the time but he does, more than he cares to admit.
- Surprisingly enough, JD actually really likes cuddling. You’ll usually lay with your legs intertwined and your head resting against his chest while he wraps his arms tight around you. 
-  Jason's father sort of ignores him, they aren’t very close and certainly not close enough to be sharing affection besides; maybe, a pat on he back or something similar. So he craves attention and affection.
- He yearns for you to touch and love him but he doesn’t know how to tell you that he wants you to suffocate him with your own body. He’ll just try to repeat whatever it is he did to make you touch him or touch you until you do something to him.
- Hugs from behind.
- Husky whispers in your ear. He does it on purpose because he knows what it does to you.
- Motorcycle rides. 
- Trying to get him to quit smoking. It never actually works but he; somewhat, tries to cut down on it for your sake. He thinks the fact that you care is sorta amusing. 
- Cutting class together.
- Going shooting with him. The beer bottles and porcelain plates kind of shooting, not the Ram and Kurt kind of shooting. 
- Dark humor. Although, sometimes you genuinely don’t know if he’s joking or not. 
- He can always seem to make you laugh, even if it makes you feel guilty to laugh at some off the stuff he says.
-  Hearing an alarming amount of gun and bomb facts. 
- Going to Snappys Snack Shack with him.
- Junk food binges.
- He’s kind of a stalker if I’m being honest. He follows you around without you knowing, finds out everything he can about you, etc. You’re sort of like an obsession of his and that can be good or bad depending on the situation and to what extent you know about his feelings. 
- He knows practically everything about you, ranging from your birthday to where you are at pretty much any given time.
- He’s not too great at all that lovey dovey shit but he tries. It might take him a little while to get the hang of it but he eventually will. 
- Getting him to play the sax for you.
- Having his hand on your thigh whenever he’s driving. 
- Making out.
- Hickeys.
- He likes when you wear his clothes, it’s like marking his territory without getting in trouble for making your neck different colors.
- Listening to morbid music.
- Deep existential conversations. What else do you talk about with your girlfriend besides the meaning of life and why society will ultimately cave in and destroy itself in a violent revolt?
- Late night phone calls from him. Be prepared to rush to your landline at three a.m. so that you don’t wake up your parents. You can’t even really be mad at him because he’ll just immediately launch into either a spiel about how he missed you or ask what your opinion on Manchurian candidates are; successfully silencing you in bewilderment. 
- Getting random knocks at your window whenever he decides he just has to see you. 
- Your parents either love or hate him, there is no inbetween. He’s generally pretty good at playing the role of the upstanding young man who cares a lot about their daughter; that parts real of course, but occasionally a parent will just get a bad vibe from him and his charade; though convincing, just won’t work on them. 
- If that’s the case with your parents then you’ll sort of be forced to sneak out if you want to see him, which he’s particularly good at helping you do. 
- Getting kept away from his father. He tries to keep your interactions to a minimum, especially if you have a much different personality than to the man.
- Incredibly jealous though he’ll always try to hide just how upset whatever situation you’re in makes him. He makes jokes and “forgets about it” as soon as you join his side, convincingly acting like nothing happened or that he saw nothing wrong with it but staying up the rest of the night wondering what he can do about it. 
- Possessive. You’re each others, aren’t you? He’s yours and you’re his. Everybody belongs to someone and the two of you belong to one another. 
- Is he protective? What do you think? If you ever complain about a person bothering you, he’ll almost immediately ask if you want him to kill them. You think it’s a joke. It’s not. 
- Although it may seem like he does things just for his own benefit, he would genuinely do anything you ask of him. Sometimes he’ll surprise you with the lengths that he goes to make your life easier and happier. 
- He’s hot tempered and kind of an asshole so the two of you are; most likely, almost constantly fighting. You’ll usually be yelling at each other or arguing passionately which is a problem because he thinks you’re hot when you’re angry. He’ll usually wind up trying to kiss you which succeeds in making things worse and having you give him the silent treatment/break up. 
- He tries his best to give you your space but the instant you want him back, he’s all over you. He usually never actually apologizes but he doesn’t force you to when you’re in the wrong either so you suppose it’s fair. 
- I love you’s are few and far between. He doesn’t really want to make himself seem too vulnerable so you only get them on rare occasions. 
- The two of you tend to not talk about the future. He wants to be with you forever; which is obvious, and he wants you to be his; which is also obvious. But you don’t know if you’re entirely sure you can handle him. So, you try to just enjoy the time you’re spending together and not think about how things may end. 
- You’re either the Bonnie to his Clyde or his blissfully unaware darling. Pick your poison. 
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itgirlification · 3 years
Text
supermodel | jjk
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the last three months have been hell for you, but Jungkook seemed to be living his best life.
pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader
warnings: explicit mentions of body image and insecurities, infidelity, anal sex, oral (male receive), foul language (kinda), etc.
now playing: supermodel by sza
part two part three
Exactly three months ago, your and Jungkook’s 2 years relationship officially ended. Unofficially, it ended about 5 months ago. And for about one month now, Jungkook’s been seeing someone else.
Your heart and mind told you not to do it but you couldn’t help calculating. Three months ago, you were still dating, two months later, he started dating someone else. That must mean he’s known her for a while. Did he cheat on you with her? Well, it’s not like it matters now anyway, does it?
Her name was Yuki, an undeniable Japanese beauty. You were still in college, studying music and she was a famous model who appeared in internationally known magazines. You assumed she met Jungkook during a photoshoot since he was a professional photographer who often worked for companies like Vogue and Playboy. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her.
It wasn’t the fact that he moved on so quickly that hurt you the most. It was the fact that he knew all about your low self-esteem and how you lack confidence. Especially about your body. And he still went and dated a model, of all professions in the world. He was definitely over you.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he did it on purpose. But thankfully, you knew better, he looked too happy for that to be even considered. He forgot about you.
You’re making yourself sadder by remembering all the times he assured you you were beautiful and your body was nothing to be ashamed of. The times he let his fingertips run over the lines of your stretch marks, whispering in your ear how much he loved them and how they reminded him of Tiger stripes. The times he caressed your jiggly thighs and told you how sexy he thought they were.
Then your mind would drift back to the phone in your hand, the Instagram page of Yuki Sakurai opened, careful not to accidentally like anything and expose yourself. Not that she’d notice anyway, she had 3.7 million followers, while you had a private one with 500 followers and no posts, and she gets around 300 to 700 thousand likes on each post, depending on whether she posts random photos or pretty pictures of herself. Or newly, your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Oh, how crazy everybody goes whenever she posts him. People love them together. You couldn’t blame them. Two attractive people? Of course, they’re gonna look great together.
Fucking great.
That the end of your relationship with Jungkook would look like this was semi-predictable from the beginning. He did admit to you that he never thought he’d date someone that looked like you when you first dated. And your heart broke a little. But he also made up for it in those two years, it was a beautiful relationship nonetheless.
While you weren’t exactly his ‘ideal’ type, he was definitely yours. You always heard from other women ‘when in a relationship, the man always has to love the woman more than she loves him. Otherwise, it won’t work.’ You never really got the saying until your breakup with Jungkook happened. It was the fact that you clearly loved Jungkook more than he loved you that lead to this.
“Oh my goodness!”, your roommate, Jane, dramatically exclaimed. “Will you stop feeling bad for yourself and do something? That’s not what hot girls do, sis.”
Jane was a lovely girl with a not so lovely temper. She always means well and you got along perfectly as soon as you met. Which was around 3 and a half years ago.
She looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. You obviously didn’t want her to see you snooping around your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s Instagram but it was too late.
“Seriously, yn?”, she took your phone in her hand and threw it on the bed. “Let’s go somewhere, you can’t do this to yourself anymore. I’m not letting you.”
Jane was clearly worried about you at this point. The only thing you did these last few weeks was eating, shower, cry, sleep and miss a whole bunch of classes. This wasn’t good at all.
“Where?”, your question was short.
“To the mall? Or the nail studio? Anything that’ll get you out of this fucking dormitory.”, Jane sighed, pulling the blanket off of you, making you whine a little. “C’mon, go put on some cute outfit and we’ll go.”
You felt bad since she was trying hard to make you feel better. But it didn’t really work.
You nodded, standing up from the bed, nonetheless. You picked out a cute two-piece dress, that brought back blurred memories of the time you went on a date with Jungkook, wearing the same two-piece. Bet Yuki would look cuter in this...
‘Shut your petty ass up, yn. It’s embarrassing, the way you’re stuck on a taken guy who wants nothing to do with you’
You wish you could change the way you think, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You wish you would stop imagining Jungkook judging you when he saw you naked or when you told him that you wished you could cut off some of your fat with a pair of scissors.
You were beyond ashamed of yourself. Why wasn’t it easy for you to just stay by yourself? why were you so desperately in need of Jungkook by your side to the point where you’d lock yourself in your room for a month just because he isn’t there?
You needed Jungkook. You became so attached to him in those two years, because you always saw him as a permanent, a forever. Not just a temporary, not just a distant memory. You already saw him as the father of your children, as the man you’re gonna marry.
You were so blinded by the fact that you had him, that you forgot you could lose him anytime.
“I’m done, let’s go.”, unenthusiastically, you announced to Jane, who was already waiting for you.
“Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, In contrast to your spirit, hers seemed to be all roses and daisies. “Lord knows you need it...”
__________
“Look at this cute ass skirt, girl”, Jane pointed at a chic, wine mini skirt she was holding. “You know, when I saw it back there I wanted to have it, but it’d look so much better on you”
You took a few seconds to admire Jane’s beauty. She was about 3 cm taller than you, had a great posture, and almond, dark brown eyes that suited her dark skin tone perfectly. Her body leaned more towards the slimmer side.
“Shut up! No, it would not”, you let out a small giggle. “It would look gorgeous on you, buy it.”
She smiled a little at your laughs. She was happy to see you at least a little cheerful again. “Yeah, but I think it’d look better on you. I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I not?”
You knew this debate was gonna go back and forth, because of her stubbornness. “Let’s both buy the skirt.”
You ended up doing so, added by a bunch of bags full of clothing. This may’ve turned into your new coping mechanism. Who needed therapy when you can go on a shopping spree?
Two hours were spent in boutiques and clothing stores and Jane decided she was tired, wanting to visit the local spa.
“No, seriously, these Riverdale seasons just keep on getting worse and worse. Netflix needs to step up their game ASAP”, Jane ranted, making you laugh at how serious she takes it. “It’s getting embarrassing. I’m being for real.”
The two of you were sitting in the whirlpool at the spa, relaxing your whole bodies a little.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t watch these new Netflix shows anyways. Been stuck on the vampire diaries for the last 7 years”, you chuckled, knowing you hated trying new things. “Can you pass me one of those magazines?”
Jane nodded, grabbing a random one from the table next to her and handed it to you, without looking at it.
The cover of it caught your eyes immediately. How could it not, when your ex’s new girl looks absolutely dazzling on the front page of it.
‘Supermodel Yuki Sakurai talks summer fashion tips, struggle with self-love and most importantly, her hot, new boyfriend the media is going crazy over’ was the headline of the Harper’s Bazaar Magazine cover.
You felt your stomach getting sick and your breath getting heavier, but you still flipped the pages until you found the one with her interview. You began reading it, skipping the boring parts.
‘Int: so, we see you have a new boyfriend. Tell us, how did you guys meet?
Yuki: Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. We actually met about six or five months ago at one of my photoshoots, since he’s a photographer and we exchanged numbers and stuff, and then we made it official mid last month.’
About six or five months ago? You were with him back then, but her answer was too unclear to find out if he cheated or not.
“Woah, yn, you okay?”
You entirely forgot about the fact that you were with Jane, let alone somewhere other than your bed.
Before you could react, Jane snatched the magazine out of your hand.
“You really can’t escape them, huh?”, She sighs, taking you in her arm. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. In a few months, you’re gonna look back to this and think wow I really was stuck on a guy who’s scared of microwaves and cried like a bitch when Iron Man died.”
You laughed, punching her arm playfully. “You know, I actually love these things about him. Shows his sensitivity and the way he perceives things.”
Jane looked at you as if she didn’t believe you were actually saying that stuff. “Girl, you’re overanalyzing this. Let’s just throw this shit in the trash, okay?”
She put the magazine aside.
“I just don't know what I did wrong.”, You murmured. “I know we weren't the best, but we didn't even fight that much. We could’ve talked it through.”
Jane pursed her lips and cooed. “You know, relationships are complicated sometimes. The reason why he broke up, to begin with, is probably not your fault.”
“Well, what if it is? I mean what if I was too fat or too ugly for him?”, you asked. “If he wanted a skinny girl so bad, I could’ve lost weight for him, I don’t get it.”
Jane looked at you like you lost your mind entirely. “I can’t believe you just said that! Even if that was the reason, which it wasn’t, you shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of it. That’s his loss. You’re beyond gorgeous and you have an amazing body.”
“You’re just saying that.”, tears slowly started coming up in your eyes. “But the thing is Jungkook knows all about my insecurities. Why would he do that to me? I know he knows that I’m still not over him.”
You usually didn’t like crying in front of other people, but you didn’t really care at the moment, besides that was Jane. You trusted her with your life.
“Girl, men are trash, I can’t believe you’re crying over one right now, seriously.”, she wiped your tears and held your face between her hands. “You know, honestly, I’ve read so many articles about how models actually hate themselves and have like the lowest self-esteem so in conclusion, no matter how miserable you are, his new girl is even more miserable.”
You knew Jane didn’t mean it in a harmful way, but it sounded harsher than needed. “I don’t hate her, she probably doesn’t even know about me. I’m just really insecure. He upgraded from me. He’s dating a whole model now.”
The situation just felt like a deja vu of these last few weeks laying in your bed, even though you were at the spa with your friend. You were supposed to have fun, yet you didn’t feel like having any.
“Why would you feel insecure when all you’ve seen of her are Instagram posts and red carpet pictures? She’s supposed to look beautiful, it’s her job.”
To a certain extent, Jane was right, but that didn’t really help your situation, you still felt bad about yourself. You stayed silent.
“C’mon, this isn’t fun anymore. Let’s leave.”, Jane mumbled.
_______
it’s been two days since the incident at the spa and you felt a little bit better now.
Those days were spent reading the same three book series you’ve read your entire life, overthinking, hot Cheetos, Indian takeout, and Netflix. It really wasn’t as miserable as it sounded.
You were just taking a little rest before term break ends and you have to go back to the shithole college again.
Jane was using the time until college starts again, but in different ways than you were. She was planning on going to some frat party in an hour and forget about the world’ for a minute. Or till 4 in the morning, where she will most likely drunk call you and ask you for a ride back to the dorms, because the friends she went to the party with were shit-faced as well and were in no way capable of driving anywhere without the cops stopping them.
Going out partying on a Friday night was a Jane tradition. In the past, you’d sometimes go with her, but you mostly spent your time out with Jungkook doing something more fun than partying could ever be. Now you can’t do that anymore, but laying in bed is more ideal than a party for you at the moment.
“How do I look?”, Jane twirled around to show off her black cocktail dress. She looked beautiful.
“You look beautiful.”, you responded to her question. “Are you leaving now?”
“Hm”, she said, to which you nodded. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me? It’s gonna be really fun.”
You shook your head no.
“Alright”, she shrugged, making her way out of your bedroom. “But I told you, it’s gonna be fun.”
You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll stay here, I have shit to do.”
“Yeah, right, like binge-watching the vampire diaries and taking 5-hour naps”, she said in a sarcastic tone. “Anyway, bye-bye, Vic’s already waiting for me in the car.”
Victoria was perhaps one of the most obnoxious people you know, yet she was too much of a nice person for you to talk shit about her. The voice of your intrusive thoughts couldn’t help but to, though.
“Alright, bye, take care and say hi to Vic from me.”
After Jane left, an hour went by like it was just a couple of minutes. You were starting to get real bored and decided to watch some regular tv in hopes to find something you enjoy. You ended up not finding anything fun, but you still watched it, because you didn’t have anything else to do.
A few moments later, the doorbell rang and you were suddenly worried. Either this is a serial killer or Jane forgot something.
But to your surprise, it was neither, but it was none other than
“Jungkook?”, truly, those were the only words you were able to mutter out at your shocked state. “What are you do-“
At the speed of light, you were interrupted by your ex-boyfriend pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t say a word.
You weren’t expecting him. Not knowing how you were supposed to feel at the moment, you just let it happen. You were sure your mental state couldn’t get any worse than that, no matter how this will affect you in the end.
“Is Jane home?”, for the first time in 3 months, you’re hearing his silky voice again.
Jungkook knew Jane always had some type of special hatred for him with her killing stares and her bitter comments. You didn’t notice either though.
He also knew she must hate him even more after your breakup. Or maybe she liked him more now since she was able to get rid of him without killing anyone.
“No”, your answer was short and it made a weight fall from Jungkook’s shoulders before he continued kissing you.
It wasn’t anything you haven’t done before, yet it felt like it’s been ages since it last happened. Your mind drifted to the thought of Jungkook and his model girlfriend. You were asking yourself what their sex life was like, if she was tighter than you or if she had stretch marks and scars.
Jungkook’s lips were moving south, giving your neck wet kisses, while you were wondering why he broke up with his model girlfriend. Or if he even did. You felt selfish for not caring.
Removing your clothes one by one, you were left in your underwear, while Jungkook only had his boxers on.
This body was yours. You knew it inside out. Where he liked to get touched and where he preferred not to. You knew him better than anyone else. You were sure.
You already moved to your bedroom, since Jungkook effortlessly carried you there. You were sat on his lap, facing him and your hands were in his messy hair. His hands were around your waist, he was slightly smiling into the kiss, as you started grinding on him. He loved how easy it was for him to turn you on. You were still his.
Cutting off the kiss, he looked you in the eyes, while his hand was on your cheek. “Say aah.”, he said.
You widened your mouth obediently, which was followed by him collecting as much saliva as he could in his mouth and spitting it into your mouth.
“Swallow.”, demanding, he spit on your face, his eyes become darker with every passing moment. You did as he said.
You looked at him with big eyes. He knew you loved it. You’ve always had a thing for him degrading and humiliating you during sex.
He started grinding on you almost desperately. You knew exactly what he wanted.
Getting out of his grip, you dropped to your knees and freed his hard dick from his drawers. You reached for it and started pumping it, and licking it. Your spit was leaking down his dick as you used it for lubrication. Then you started sucking on it, just the way you used to.
Jungkook’s groans and satisfied sighs were enough to make you even wetter than before. You enjoyed giving more than receiving.
Your mouth was wet and warm around him, giving him a feeling of familiarity. You lick over the tip a few times, then proceed to fully take him into your mouth.
The bulge in your throat could be seen and the way your eyes were tearing up a little wasn’t bothering you at all. You loved giving.
Jungkook started thrusting in and out of your warm, welcoming mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat multiple times.
“Fuck”, a throaty moan left Jungkook’s mouth, giving you hints that he was about to cum. And he did, releasing in your mouth before you swallowed it. “Shit, baby, that was so good.”
You felt your face heat up and a sheepish smile made its way to your face. Your throat was sore.
The two of you were on the bed again. To you, it felt like it was the times before your breakup again, when you’d purposely start an argument just for the makeup sex because Jungkook wasn’t giving you any anymore. It was like sex was the only thing to look forward to.
You felt attached to Jungkook to a point where it was dangerous. You weren’t okay when he wasn’t around. He affected every part of your life and God knew it wasn’t always a positive thing. Maybe it was the fact that he took your virginity. Maybe because he was your first boyfriend, the first guy that made you believe you were worthy of love and that someone was actually capable of loving you. One thing you knew was Jungkook had an expansive influence on your life.
While you were practically drowning in your own thoughts, Jungkook was busy taking off your underwear.
“You okay?”, Jungkook calmly asked you, looking at your riddled face.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.”, you sounded distracted, Jungkook wasn’t sure about asking you what it is though. He didn’t feel like getting personal.
So he shrugged it off and started kissing you again, his dick was unsurprisingly hard again as he played with your tits. He drew lines over the stretch marks of your thighs and kissed them.
“Can I fuck your ass?”, Jungkook’s raspy, tired-sounding voice casually asked, to which you quickly nodded, knowing that Jungkook’s favorite position had always been anal. He was massaging and gripping your ass firmly.
“This is gonna hurt at first, but I promise it gets better.”, He warned calmly into your ear, while putting some lube on his dick and just went right into your ass, slowly thrusting so you don’t feel as much pain.
He was right, it did hurt a lot when he first put it in, but the pain just changed into pleasure in a matter of time and his slow-paced thrusts helped with the adjustment.
“Fuck, I missed this ass”, he practically growled into your ear, as he kept on thrusting in and out, steadily gripping your wide hips with his big, veiny hands. “It just doesn’t feel right when I’m inside her ass.”
You knew your confidence shouldn’t rely on Jungkook bringing his girlfriend down, but you couldn’t help but feel good about your body when he said that. It’s been a while since you felt even a tiny spark of confidence. You weren’t so fond of him mentioning her while he was inside of you.
Your soft moans rang through the whole room like sirens, while he watched your ass jiggle against his pelvis, thrusting in and out faster every second. He missed this.
You had always thought you were indecisive, but you knew exactly what you wanted. You just couldn’t have that, so you’d eventually have to settle for less.
Jungkook wasn’t to blame for it, you just couldn’t concede your shortcomings. The movie’s villain wasn’t always the real villain.
Your hands traveled to your pussy to make sure you’d orgasm as well, when you heard Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier and his thrusts getting gentler than before, indicating that he was gonna cum soon. You were certain he could make you cum with just anal, but you wanted to cum with him.
With furrowed eyebrows and drops of sweat dripping down his body, Jungkook looked down at your arched back. The whole scene was sticky, especially when Jungkook presses his upper body to your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the spot.
It was kinda odd, having sex with your ex-boyfriend you were crying over just a day ago. There was a certain intensity to it though. Like your long-lasting nostalgia was finally fulfilled.
You’ve realized you couldn’t imagine yourself being intimate with anybody else. Jungkook already knew your body, how it looked without the material protecting it, the strawberry skin, the slightly sagging breasts you swore you’d surgically remove once you had the chance to but didn’t. He knew where you liked being touched, he was the first one to even touch you in those places.
You were unsure what you’d do with yourself when he leaves.
Jungkook’s thrusts slowly started stopping and you too felt the familiar sensation in your stomach.
Suddenly, you two were nothing but desire, fear, and pleasure. And faster than you could process, you came together.
For minutes after your orgasm, you were just laying on the bed, thoughtless. Maybe a little regretful. Not you, but him.
You weren’t facing each other, but you could hear each other’s breathing. Your stomach was filled with something you’d describe as post-sex melancholia.
All of a sudden, Jungkook stood up from the bed, startling your resting self a little, but you decided to keep quiet, wanting to see what he was going to do.
He made his way to the door to leave what he thought was your sleeping body laying there. You couldn’t keep quiet anymore.
“Where are you going?”, your soft voice suddenly rang in his ears. “Don’t you wanna stay?”
He didn’t know how exactly to tell you. You’ve always been a gullible little girl, you were the type of girl to think fucking equals love. Little did you know that wasn’t the case at all.
“Yn.... you know I can’t”, Jungkook responded, you knew it wasn’t gonna be good when he said your name like that. “I got a girl at home and I don’t wanna mess shit up with her.”
There it was. Your suspicion was corroborated. He was still going out with the model and you were a certified home wrecker. Great.
You physically felt your heart breaking. “Bu- but why are you here then?”
You were incapable of being mad at him at the moment. It was your fault for letting him in, again. After breaking your trust and your heart.
“This was a mistake”, he declared, not looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, yn...”
He’s moved past your room now, already at the exit of your dormitory. He was about to leave.
“You already ruined shit with her when you came here and fucked me.”, your voice was small, but your words were heard.
Without looking back, he left.
And you went back to your room, standing in the middle of it for a minute in silence before your brain fully processed what had happened and your tears started pouring.
743 notes · View notes
astranva · 3 years
Text
Falling Duet
Word Count: 2.4k
Category: Fluff but it’s so 🥺
Warning: Nothing
Request: harry dating singer!reader: he has to perform at some awards and he invites her to sing with him but no one else knows? love your writing🤧❤
Summary: You and Harry sing an unreleased version of Falling at an award show.
The lyrics used are of “Falling (other POV)” by THE cutie, Ally Naso 🤍
// masterlist //
**reposted bc tumblr is messing up the tags & nobody can view it. sigh.
..
It all started when a friend of yours had recorded you singing in your school’s bathroom during senior year.
7 years ago, you wouldn’t have believed it if somebody told you that you would be a 13-time Grammy nominated artist, as well as having 6 of that very award sitting on your shelf at your childhood home – one for Best Artist, and one for Album of the year.
You would have laughed even.
But it wasn’t a joke nor was it a dream you wished to never wake up from; it was as real as life could be.
You were successful in the industry and if any of your fans were asked, they would say that it was because of your immense talent and unproblematic, empathetic, kind character.
It was one of the many reasons why so many people on the internet had shipped you with a certain English man, him having been only 20 when you went viral and got signed.
A year into the industry, it was one day when you remember your Twitter notifications going crazy;
“HARRY STYLES JUST SAID HE LOVES YOUR MUSIC AND THINKS YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL”
“omg pls tell us you watched 1d’s interview with jimmy kimmel”
“IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING! CAN YOU PLEASE BE TOGETHER ALREADY???”
Looking back at that memory, you remember how you were a shaking and overwhelmed mess as you had clicked on the link everybody was sending you.
The video had begun with the audience cheering as the camera was on Jimmy and the 5 men near him.
And there he sat; in a black suit with a white shirt underneath, medium-length hair looking like he had run his fingers through many times, his hands clasped as he looked at Jimmy.
“Who’s most likely to let a woman split the band?” Jimmy had asked.
They had looked at each other, not answering for a moment before Niall chimed in with a laugh as he pointed at Harry, “Harry would let his celebrity crush do that.”
Harry rolled his eyes jokingly as his bandmates agreed and laughed, slapping his hands against his thighs in feigned annoyance.
“Who is that? Who’s your celebrity crush?”
“Just this talented person.” He had tried to smile his way through the question, but no one was having it.
“You know Y/N Y/L/N? She’s an amazing singer,” Louis told Jimmy.
“Y/N!” Jimmy beamed, “We had her on the show two weeks ago.”
“Yeah, he watched that.” Liam had gestured towards Harry.
Hiding his face in his hands for a moment, the audience cheered as his friends continued to laugh.
“She’s amazing, isn’t she?” Jimmy asked Harry in a teasing manner.
Having had decided to get it over with, Harry nodded as he clasped his hands together again, “She’s very talented and beautiful.”
“Lovie, can you help me with the necklace? My nails are still drying.”
You looked up from your place on the couch, sitting in your long dress looking so beautiful that Harry had lost track of time of getting into his own suit because he was too busy giving you a photoshoot on his phone.
Standing up, you reached and clasped his necklace for him, dusting his shoulders to signal that you were done.
Turning, you were met with your boyfriend of 4 years beaming at you before he leaned to press his lips against yours.
“You look so good.” You smiled up at him, “So beautiful.”
“Have to try to catch up with how you look tonight,” he replied with a wide smile, “Nervous?”
“Not really.” You admitted.
Amusingly and completely and utterly in love, Harry tilted his head slightly, “Any reason why you’re not? You usually hate those.”
It was true. You didn’t really like award shows because of how tiresome all the process was; hair, makeup, dressing up, walking only to pause every second, the repeated questions you have been answering for years, how more judgmental the world was on nights like these.
But it was always when Harry was able to be by your side that you liked the night, and the tall man knew it, but he had always loved hearing you say it.
To feed his ego, you wrapped your arms around his neck, “Because you’ll be there.”
“Music to my ears.” He joked, shaking his head slightly.
“Just feeding that already overfed ego of yours, baby.”
“Excuse you.” He pecked your lips, “Let me add food for Evie then we can leave.”
“I’ll do it, don’t mess up your nails.” You patted his chest before moving away to attend to your cat.
The fans and reporters all had anticipated the moment of yours and boyfriend’s arrival, and the both of you knew it.
You were fairly private with your relationship. While everyone knew you were together, the both of you didn’t always post about one another but when you did, it went viral – something you and Harry, shamelessly, enjoyed.
It was why during moments like this, everyone was eager. Reporters were hungry for content, all having different intentions, but you spend enough time in the industry and you sort of begin knowing what to say and how to say it.
Harry was scheduled to perform, something everyone knew of, but it was the fact that you were joining him not on the red carpet, but on stage that they didn’t.
Getting out of the car together, the screams and flashing lights were then doubled.
Harry closed the door behind you with a polite smile to the security standing. Bending a little, he adjusted your dress’s short train for you as you looked back at it before you looked up at him.
As if they weren’t snapping pictures like crazy yet, you reached and fixed Harry’s hair at the front, his eyes looking up with a smile as you did so.
“Thanks, love.”
With that, Harry placed his arm around your waist as you walked to the first spot on the red carpet.
“When was the last time we appeared together? They’re going mad.” You whispered, looking at Harry as he smiled to the cameras.
He chuckled, looking at you, “I think we deprive them too much.”
“Let’s give them enough content to last a year.”
Nobody but the both of you knew what you meant, and it was why the flashing lights and camera shutter sounds were then tripled the moment Harry’s lips were on yours in a soft kiss.
“Can we sign stuff?” You asked a woman standing on the sides, “Can we see the fans?”
When she nodded at you, you and Harry ignored posing for a few minutes to converse and meet fans.
“I love you and Harry so much!” One fan said shakily as you signed a paper for him.
“Thank yo- Hey! I saw you in Amsterdam last year, right?” You grinned.
And that was another thing not only your fans loved about you, but Harry, too.
You were no stranger to connections. You were no stranger to making people feel seen and treating them in a way that no fan expected to be treated – a friend, and you remember friends.
“Harry, do you think Y/N will win Songwriter of the Year?” A fan asked.
Harry shrugged with a smile, “I hope so but we all know she is anyway.” He waved his hand with a joking manner, making the closest fans laugh.
“What about you? Do you think you’ll win Artist of the Year?”
“I don’t know,” he smiled, “There are so many amazing artists. I wish them all the best.”
“He’s a humble man,” you teased, patting his shoulder, “We all know he is anyway.”
You were confused as they, Harry included, laughed in shock. “What?”
“He literally has just said the same thing about you.”
You laughed, looking at Harry, “Shut up, no way!”
“The both of you have been doing that for years.” One fan commented with a grin, “It’s adorable. It’s like telepathy or something.”
“Oh yeah, we are telepathic,” Harry nodded, “It gets a little scary sometimes.”
“Heeey!” You laughed, “It’s actually helpful. One of us would be just walking at home and we’d look at each other and know that the other just means something like “feed Evie” or “take out the trash””
“This is so cute!”
“Harry, what are you performing tonight?”
“You’ll find out in a bit.” He pointed.
Shortly, you and Harry had to take more pictures and do interviews before you were escorted inside.
It was the little moments that fans also lived for; how Harry held your hand as you sat so discreetly, how the both of you chatted and giggled among one another and those around you, how Harry fist-bumped the air the moment your name was called to receive your award of Songwriter of the Year before kissing you. It was how they knew this was real – how love wasn’t something you only listen people sing about or write novels for.
It was in how Harry’s eyes didn’t move from you as you gave your speech, a wide smile on his face and eyes resembling twinkling stars for crying out loud.
It was in how you ended your speech with: “This is to the man who has inspired and pushed me forward to write every single day. I love you.”
It was in how you looked more nervous than Harry himself when his category was called before you were the first to get out of your seat with a happy “yes!” once they announced that he won.
It was in how Harry cupped your face that moment to kiss you before walking to receive his award.
It was in how you remained standing, those behind you only smiling instead of being annoyed, with your hands clutched together against your heart, tearful eyes, and the brightest smile in the room.
“You’re going to tell me this is cheesy,” Harry chuckled slightly, giving a shrug as he looked at you, “But I wouldn’t be standing here, holding this, if it weren’t for you. I love you, too.”
But then Harry was about to perform and you weren’t in your seat.
The award show had decided to make a skit of it, the host being Miley had held her microphone as she stood in the empty isle beside yours and Harry’s empty seats.
“We know Harry Styles is performing in minutes,” she said, looking at the camera with a playful smile, “But where is Y/N Y/L/N? We know, we know,” she nodded, “Probably backstage for some extra good luck but-” people laughed, causing Miley to pause and chuckle, “But seriously, guys. There’s a show and it must go on.”
“It’s going on.” Harry said from backstage into his mic before the stage went dark.
It wasn’t until piano tunes sounded that the arena grew dim, a spotlight on the piano at the center of the stage where you sat, your fingers gentle against the keys as you played the beginning notes of Falling.
“I'm in my bed,
And you're not here
And there's no one to blame
But the drink in my wandering hands.” Harry sang as he came on stage, holding the mic in his hand before taking a seat beside you.
Everyone had expected him to sing the next verse, but it wasn’t his voice that they then heard.
“I'm in my bed
Instead of yours
Cried to sleep turned off all of lights and locked all of the doors.” You sang, eyes on the piano keys.
“Forget what I said
It's not what I meant
And I can't take it back
I can't unpack the baggage you left.” His eyes were on you, body turned slightly towards you as he felt like the both of you were in your living room in front of your white piano.
“I replay what you said
Don’t know if it’s true
Left with two broken hearts and there’s nothing that we could undo.” You sang, closing your eyes as you got ready for the chorus.
“What am I now? What am I now?
What if I'm someone I don't want around?
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling.”
“What am I now? What am I now?
Don’t want to cry ‘cause I can’t stand the sound
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling.”
The both of you sang together, your voice being softer and quieter than Harry’s.
“What if I'm down?
What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling.”
“What if I'm down? What if I'm out?
What if you’re someone I can’t live without?
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling.”
It was a version nobody had heard before, and it was why everyone was quiet, the only sound coming from you, Harry, and your lone instrument.
It was something you had written together following a rough patch of your relationship, and everyone knew that it was more personal with the way the both of you sang.
When his eyes weren’t closed, Harry sang as he looked at you, and he knew that performing this song meant more to the both of you than anyone could imagine. One look at your face and Harry knew you were reliving the night of when the both of you had written this; eyes a little red from crying, bodies hot, Harry wearing a hoodie of yours while you sat in your underwear with his purple fluffy robe on.
“Can I do this alone without ever needing you again?”
“And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again.”
You both sang the bridge together, yours being shorter than Harry’s note as you carried a softer tone, closing your eyes as you played the piano, feeling your throat close up before gulping.
He knew.
It was why the final chorus was sung softer and quieter, Harry’s forehead resting against your temple for a moment as the both of you sang.
“I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling.” Harry finished, putting his mic down as he stared at you with a small smile, watching you in your element as you played.
Managing to look at him as you played single soft notes, you sang, “I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling.”
You played the end single notes, looking at Harry with tearful eyes and a bashful smile.
It was like you were unaware to the erupted cheer and round of applause, you threw your arms around Harry, feeling his arms wrap around you instantly.
Crying from the overwhelming emotions, you were thankful your mascara was waterproof. You called it.
“I love you,” Harry whispered in your ear, “I love you so much.”
1K notes · View notes
achillieus · 3 years
Text
we’re fools. (bucky barnes x reader)
summary: for all bucky barnes knows, he hates clichés. and this thing between you two, happens to be the biggest one. 
(enemies to lovers trope or i watched the society on netflix recently and based this entirely on harry bingham and cassandra pressman)
pairing: college au!bucky x reader
warnings: alcohol, mentions of depression, angst, bucky is a cocky bitch, but bucky also needs a hug
(other parts)  (masterlist)
part 1/3:
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It’s December, his sophomore year of college and Bucky’s watching you again. From afar, always from afar. He’s scared if he goes near, something will give him away and you’ll laugh at him. He doesn’t remember when his fixation started but he’s certain it’ll pass. A load of girls on campus like him. Sometimes he thinks he likes some of them back. But not you. Bucky doesn’t like you. He’s beyond you. (Actually, you’re beyond him. He would never admit that.)  He watches you and notices how your fringe has grown the last few weeks and how a few strands are falling down your eyes. You brush them away and keep writing your essay. He decides it’d be better if he started writing his too. You’re a year younger but he knows you’ll probably get a higher score than him anyway. You’re good with words, he has noticed.
-
It’s March, your freshman year and you breathe out. You’re leaving the library, arms wrapped around books about Hamlet and Shakespeare, when you see him. Lately he seems to be everywhere you are. It’s getting annoying. You promise yourself you won’t stare at him again, but you cheat a few times. He’s wearing one of his overpriced shirts and he smiles at a sophomore girl. You know Bucky Barnes. You’d known him even if you didn’t want to. Because everybody does. Because that’s who he is. Everything you dislike about the world distilled into one label-whoring, conceited, 5′11″ tall boy. And everybody seems to be smitten with him.
He comes to you first.
“It’s destiny, Y/N,” he says, a smug look on his face, “third time I bump into you today.”
You tense. This is new. Usually, you don’t talk to each other if not for arguing in Romance Literature class. It’s one of the two classes you share.
“I must be very lucky.” Bucky chuckles and it’s somewhat engaging because he hasn’t given you a smile since the first day you met him.
“Admission office is on the left, doll”.
You had thought he was nice then. And beautiful. God, he was so beautiful. Please, he’s not. He’s an arrogant smartass. And now he’s standing here and for some seconds he laughs and you can see the dimples in his cheeks. You blink.
His light eyes divert to the books you’re holding.
“Try not to have too much fun.”
He mocks and walks away.
-
It’s July, end of sophomore year and Bucky joins a summer book club. (He doesn’t tell anyone. He enjoys his facade.) Every morning he grabs an iced latte and a butter croissant and he goes to the meetings. He reads a lot. And he loves it. It helps him feel. It’s a getaway. Bucky always stands proud and tall, trying to hide how easily he can be torn.
Running one finger along the starched collar of his shirt, he reads quietly and he considers the ever-changing art of literature; words and metaphors that allow him to imagine entire worlds and fathom his own sensitivities. He almost feels vulnerable. He decides that reading together with another person is an intimate act and he’s thankful he doesn’t really have any interest in anyone in the club.
But then it’s Monday and his teenage dream walks in, hair falling gracefully your shoulders, Gone with The Wind in your left hand. And it could have been the sun gleaming through the windows, but Bucky swears his whole being flickers. In a way or another he always responds to your presence.
You sit two rows behind of him and when he involuntary turns to you, you look surprised and yet you smile.
He tries to avoid you and he’s good at it, until someone decides it’d be fun to present the next book in groups. You’re the only two without a friend there and you end up paired together.
“I don’t like this.” he says.
“Oh, I know.” you whisper.
You spend an evening in his dorm, discussing the author and the plot holes. At first, he talks a lot, trying to impress you. But then he lays on his back, listening to the summer rain outside and you reading out loud. Regardless of what you feel for each other, he thinks it’s a beautiful sound.
Next morning, he buys two butter croissants instead of one.
-
It’s October, your sophomore year and you’re not exactly friends. Or enemies. Bucky has stopped teasing you and you think it’s because of your days in the book club. Actually, it’s because he’s dating Natasha Romanoff now and he promised he’d be kinder.
You realize sooner or later and you say it’s obvious you don’t care. (Who is it obvious to?) The girl is pretty, clever and vibrant and she’s a good person. You like her. You just can’t figure out what she sees in Bucky.
-
It’s January, his junior year and he’s not doing well. He knows it’s his fault (he always loved half-heartedly) and that makes the hurting worse. It’s guilt driven. He tries to get Nat back but she’s not ready. And it’s awful because nobody warned him and he didn’t know; it’s hard to feel lovable after a break up. He desperately needs a distraction. He pushes himself past his breaking point. Carves his grades into the back of his neck. Devours facts and theorems. Almost joins the football team for extra credit. But to be honest he’s never been that much into sports. Debate team, it is.
That’s where he truly learns to despise you. Who do you think you are? The proud jaw, those smart eyes, your feet planted on the ground as if the world’s wisdom belongs to you. You’re at your best while he’s at his lowest point.
He watches you and then he watches himself.
“Your last argument was weak,” you say, raising your eyebrows, “you should concentrate more.”
Bucky bites his lip in frustration.
“You’re not the boss around here.” He says, crossing his arms in his chest, “You may think you are, but you’re not.”
(Technically she is, Bucky. She’s the captain of the team.)
“Don’t start again.” You sigh. “I just want us to win next week.”
He rolls his eyes at you. He would never admit it out loud but a part of him is enjoying this. Feuding with Y/N feels natural. It reminds him of who he is.  And he feeds on that.
He takes a step towards you.
“Of course, so you can take all the credit.”
You just stare at him. Sometimes you don’t understand what Bucky is trying to prove. That he’s better? Or that you’re worse? You hate it. How quickly he can make you lose your temper.
(How quickly he can exhilarate you.)
“If you don’t like the team,” you tilt your chin up to meet his gaze, “you’re free to leave.”
Bucky laughs. This is how you are. This is how you will always be. Both strong, you just, him lost.
“You need me to win, Y/N,” he sets his shoulders back and smirks, “I’m good at this.” He remains close to you and refuses to look away. He can see you parting your lips for a second or two.
(Did he just glance at your lips?)
“I know you are,” you breath out and Bucky is incredulous, “so start acting like it.”
(Did you just compliment him?)
-
It’s the first day of February, your sophomore year and you think you’re losing your sanity. Bucky invites everyone at his dorm to celebrate their victory at the National Debate Championship. And it’s strange because Bucky never really invites anyone he doesn’t like. If you didn’t know him, you would have bet that he’s been feeling lonely.
You don’t want to go at first. But you’re glad you do. Under the green lights he has installed and all the alcohol in his body, he looks different and it’s the first time you genuinely see him. A boy with silky black hair, blue eyes and skin that looks like it’d be cool to touch. There’s something attractive about him, in a rugged way, and you’re seeing it again after a long time.
Your allergies must have gotten in your head.
He doesn’t talk a lot that night. Not to you. Not to anyone. You deduce pretty early that Bucky just wanted company to drink. You wonder if he’s still messed up because of the break up.
Probably. Everyone on campus is talking about how Natasha was hanging out with that boy, Clint.
He tells you, you don’t have to, but you still stay to help him clean up.
“Why are you doing this, Y/N?” His voice is low.
You started taking a new antihistamine, maybe it’s the side effects.
“It’s called being nice,” you say firmly, “you should try it.”
Bucky makes a little humming sound and keeps collecting plastic cups. The room is quiet, but for the sound of trash bags and you count the seconds before you speak again.
“How are you?”
“I’m not that drunk, don’t worry.” He half-answers, half laughs but he pronounces the last word with enough irony.
“No, I meant,” you breath, “Is everything okay with you?”
“Seriously, you make no sense Y/N.” He’s careful not to look at you.
“I just wanted to say,” your voice sways for a second, you’re a novice in talking with him about anything different than books and words and that makes you weak and nervous, “You’ll be back with Natasha, I’m sure.”
Bucky’s face hardens around the edges, his eyes saying more about him than any words could. He comes close to you and it could have been the smell of alcohol but you feel like you want to throw up.
“You and I, we’re not friends.”
You don’t blink. You stare blankly at him, waiting for what follows. But he just leaves the room.
You promise you will never go to any of his parties again.
...
feedback is so appreciated and motivates me tons, thank you :)
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ray-ray-writings · 3 years
Text
Stream Stresses-SBI Au
This is a Brother!Technoblade, Brother!Wilbur, Brother!Tommyinnit, and Father!Philza x gn!reader in the SBI inc Au. I hope that this is written how the anon that requested it wants it, but I’m not sure. So basically, the SBI is a real family dynamic, the thing is that all of Philza’s children, Y/N, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur are all well known streamers and everybody’s fans know this and love the family dynamic that you four have, because you’re literally family. So yeah. Here you go, I hope you enjoy. 
Check out my masterlist here!
When Y/N makes fun of their brother, chat jumps to his defense by saying some not so nice things about Y/N. The mean things cause Y/N to shut down their stream with tears in their eyes, worrying their father, Philza.
Y/N’s POV
“Hello chat!” I exclaimed, adjusting my headphones as people slowly began to flood the chat, “How are we today?” A variety of responses flew through my chat before my question was returned to me. “How am I today? I’m doing good! Thank you for asking!” My eyes scanned my notification and I couldn’t help but smile at the subs and donos rolling through. I quickly thank everyone by name before clapping, “Okay chat, today we are going to be playing Minecraft. But we’re not going to play on the SBI server, no we’re going to attempt speedrunning!” I explained. I eagerly watched my chat explode in support, a lot of ‘POGS’ flying by my eyes. “Well let’s get started, shall we?” 
I quickly opened my Minecraft and adjusted my stream so that my viewers could see what I was doing. “What should we name the first world? Yes we’re naming them, what monster does not name their speedrun worlds?” Random names flew through the chat, until one caught my eyes. “Tommy! We’ll name this one Tommy so when it let’s me down it won’t be anything new!” I cheered, typing the name into the world box, giggling to myself. For the most part the chat found it funny, but I did see some people say some mean stuff for making fun of my brother. 
I quickly cleared my throat and shook it off, “Here we go chat!” I exclaimed before loading in the world. I spawn in an acacia biome next to a desert, “So far Tommy’s treating us pretty good huh?” I joked, rushing over to a tree and punching it. I gained a bunch of wood and then began running through the desert in search of a village. I found one rather quickly and began my raid. I got everything from the chests and then found the iron golem and hit it to get it to chase me so I could build up and kill it… Only problem is I wasn’t quick enough.
I let out screech as the iron golem flung me up in the air, dealing a crazy amount of damage to the point where when I landed, I died. I gave a quick huff and pout as I exited out of the world. “Okay… What did I say, should have been expected to be let down by Tommy!” I exclaimed, my eyes scanning the chat. A few people laughed, but a lot of them were calling me horrible. They were saying that I shouldn’t blame my inability to play the game on my brother. It caused a pain to strike in my heart, because that’s not what I was doing at all. Really mean names began flying through my chat causing me to clear my throat and look away. “Um… Let’s try again,” I mumbled, creating a new world. 
“We’re just going to keep going down the list” I announced, trying to bring my energy back up as I typed the name “Wilbur” into the world box before hitting ‘create world’ and loading in. I let my eyes dance back to chat that seemed to go back to normal, but there were still some really mean people in chat. This time I spawned in a plains biome next to a village. I got pretty far this time. I made it all the way to the nether, even found a fortress, but my excitement about it died pretty quickly… because I did too. 
“NOOO!” I shouted at the ‘You Died’ screen. “I didn’t even see that blaze there! Damn it Wilbur!” I exclaimed, exciting out of the world once more. My eyes looked over to chat again, praying that the haters had gotten bored and left… My prayers were not answered. Instead, there were probably the most amount of haters I’d ever seen in my chat before. Every message was filled with hate. Telling me that I wasn’t good enough, that I should just quit, that my brothers were so much better than I was and there was no reason for me to even continue. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help the tears that formed in my eyes and began streaming down my cheeks. 
“Ummm… Thanks for coming. I’m going to end stream now,” I sniffed, closing Minecraft and going to my streaming settings. “Bye,” I whimpered out before ending the stream. I sat there frozen for a minute before breaking down into sob. Why do they hate me?
*POV Switch*
Philza’s POV
A grin crossed my face as my phone lit up with a twitch notification. I quickly shifted my attention to my phone screen to figure out which child it was that was going live. It was Y/N! I quickly set up my phone in such a way that I could ‘watch’ their stream while I made dinner for everyone. “Hello chat!” I heard them exclaim, “How are we today!” 
It really warmed my heart to watch my children stream. All four of them had worked extremely hard to get where they are today. I did everything I could to understand the Twitch community so I could support my children as they achieved their dreams. Sure it was hard at times, me trying to keep up with everything in all their streams but also when they’re all streaming at the same time and just screaming at each other, but we make it work. 
My focus turned to the food that I was making. Footsteps entered the kitchen pulling my attention away from the stream, “Hey Dadza,” Techno’s monotone voice greeted me from behind. “Hello Techno,” I greeted back, throwing him a smile over my shoulder. “Is Y/N streaming?” Techno asked, walking to the refrigerator, pulling it open and grabbing a water bottle. I nodded my head at the question. “Yeah, they’re speed running,” I responded, turning my head back to the veggies I was cutting for dinner. Techno let out a hum before turning his attention to my phone. 
As I cooked, I could hear Techno let out small laughs at what they’re sibling was saying on their stream. Twentyish minutes had gone by before Techno spoke actual words, “What the fuck,” He muttered, getting closer to my phone. “Language… What’s going on?” I asked, still focused on making dinner. “Y/N is crying,” He explained. My head snapped to my phone and sure enough, tears were streaming down their face. “Bye” they croaked out before the stream just ended. Not wasting any more time, I grabbed my phone and I ran out of the kitchen and toward Y/N’s room. 
As I grew closer, I could hear sobs coming from their room causing my heart to sink in my chest. I gave a quick knock on the door before barreling in. Y/N was still sitting in their gaming chair, hunched over into themselves, their hands muffiling the sobs falling from their lips. “Oh honey,” I whispered, closing the door behind me. Y/N’s head shot up and their red rimmed eyes met mine. Another loud sob broke from their mouth causing my heart to hurt even more. I took a few quick steps forward to get to them and offer them comfort. Y/N rose from their gaming chair and fell into my open arms. I quickly wrapped my arms around them in a tight hug. “I’ve got you honey,” I murmured, “I’ve got you.”
At some point, I slowly made my way to their bed and sat down, leaning against the headboard, pulling them to sit across my lap, burying their face in my chest like all those years ago when they were a lot younger. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the afternoons that they and their brothers would go outside to play and ride bikes and they would come back in with scraped and bloodied knees and palms. I would pull them into my lap, dry their tears, and help them calm down. It’s a bittersweet memory. It feels nice to think back, but under these circumstances? Not so much. 
Slowly but surely, Y/N’s sobs died down into simple sniffles before stopping all together. “You okay?” I questioned softly, leaning back ever so slightly so I could meet my child’s eyes. Their puffy ears peered up as they slowly nodded, “Yeah. I’ll be okay,” they muttered out resting their head back on my shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked carefully, not wanting to upset them again. A soft sigh left Y/N’s mouth, “I suppose I should. It’s best not to bottle it up,” they thought aloud causing me to smile just a little bit. A small bit of pride welled up inside me of how grown up they sounded. 
The smile quickly faded from my lips as my child explained what had happened on their stream. How chat had turned on them and the mean things that they said. I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was extremely pissed at not only chat, but at the mods for not stopping it. But I had to remain calm on the outside, for Y/N’s sake. 
“I’m so sorry that happened honey. You don’t deserve that. Nothing they said is true okay? You work so hard and it shows because you’re so good at what you do. Your brothers are good at what they do too. You guys are on equal playing feels and are all exceptional streamers. You deserve all good things honey. And I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to mod. You’re never streaming without me modding again. Do you understand me?” I rambled, staring at my child curled in my lap. A small giggle sounded in the air causing me to relax ever so slightly. “Yeah. I understand you dad… Thank you.” 
Before I could respond, there was a small knock on the door. “Come in,” Y/N called, staring curiously at the door. It swung open and there stood my three other children peering nervously into the room. After standing in the doorway in an awkward silence for a moment, Tommy lets out a loud scoff before pushing his way into the room and crawls up on the best next to us. Tommy then surprises me by wrapping his arms around his sibling and gives them a tight squeeze, “You’re a good streamer Y/N,” I heard him mumble in his sibling's ear. “Chat can be just a little stupid sometimes.” Another giggle passes through their lips as Y/N slides off of my lap and sits in between Tommy and I. “Thanks Tommy,” they whisper back, turning their body to properly hug their brother back. 
The closing of the door pulled my attention away from my youngest two. Wilbur and Techno were now also completely in the room and were heading toward the bed as well. I moved over so that one of them could sit in between Y/N and I and the other could go sit next to Tommy. Wilbur took the place beside me, sending Techno over by Tommy. Not saying anything, Wilbur turned his body and reached over and wrapped his long arms around Y/N and Tommy, trapping them in their own hug. For the first time ever, neither of them complained. Neither told him to get off, simply just accepted the affection from their brother. 
And to my surprise and delight, Techno leaned onto Tommy and wrapped his arms around the two as well, his arms only able to wrap around Y/N. The four didn’t say anything as they laid in the cuddle pile. I couldn’t stop the tears that formed in my eyes. They hadn’t done this in years. Before Wilbur and Techno hit their teen years, the four of them would cuddle in piles like this all the time. When I couldn’t find any of them, I would only have to find one to find all of them. But once the teen years began, the two eldest felt that they were too cool to cuddle with their siblings and the piles came to a stop. It warms my heart to see them do this, even if it’s under really shitty circumstances. 
One by one, their breathing evened out. One by one, they fell asleep. Once I was sure all were asleep, I slowly and carefully got off of the bed and managed to do so without waking any of them. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, made sure the ringer and flash were off, before snapping many photos. I didn’t plan on sharing them with everyone, they were just for me to have and to hold. Maybe I’ll print one and put it in my office. 
I carefully slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me before heading back to the kitchen. The kitchen was exactly how I left it when I fled to Y/N’s room after seeing them cry. As quietly as I could, I put everything away. I decided I was no longer in a mood to cook. Besides, on days like today, I think Y/N deserves to have their favorite carry out… Don’t you?
I don’t know if I liked how this one turned out, so let me know what you think! Leave a like if you did enjoy it and maybe even reply or reblog or even send me an ask telling me what you thought!!
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ncssian · 3 years
Text
A Favor: Part Twenty-Three
Nessian Modern AU
Masterlist
a/n: so yeah this isn’t my best work bc i havent been feeling great lately but i hope you guys can stay patient with me until i get my shit together. we’re almost to the end🤞
***
Sitting crammed between Elain and Feyre on the gray couch in Lana’s office, Nesta has to cross her legs prettily and pretend she doesn’t want to peel out of her skin right there. She doesn’t know what she was thinking when she invited her sisters to one of her therapy sessions, but she’s assuming it would be considered rude to kick them out now.
“Who wants to speak first?” Lana’s bob swings as she looks at each of them. The office is ice cold today, and Feyre and Elain’s presence doesn’t help the chill in the air.
Nesta crosses her arms before she can be asked to speak. “No, thank you,” she says. She knows everyone probably expects better from her, but no way in hell is she going to be the first to open up in front of this crowd. “Feyre,” she turns to her youngest sister instead, “why don’t you say something?”
“Actually, why don’t you set the example, Nesta?” Lana gives her a look, making her cheeks redden with irritation.
“Fine,” Nesta grumbles. She clears her throat. “As you can see, I have made moves to reconnect with my sisters. I invited them here because I hoped that therapy would bring us closer and also make them more… tolerable.”
Elain coughs, “Bitch.”
Nesta smiles tightly. “Elain could especially use this, I think.”
Lana is already frowning. She never frowns this early into a session. “We’ll start with an easy question, then. What’s been on your mind lately, Nesta?”
Nesta purses her lips, pretending to think. “Nothing important. I’m looking at jobs for the summer. I think Azriel keeps sneaking money into my purse, and it’s starting to become more than a little condescending. I caught up with some friends from school, and I was polite enough to pay for lunch.” She mentions off to the side to Elain, “Lucien was there, too.”
“Why would I care?” Elain sneers. She spies Lana’s disapproving look and lowers her head demurely. “Sorry,” she murmurs.
“That’s alright,” Lana says. “Why don’t you go next?”
“Me?” Elain’s head snaps up, and Nesta holds in her snicker.
“Start by describing your relationship with Nesta. I heard you two used to be very close.” Lana uncaps her pen, preparing to write.
Elain flushes lightly and folds her hands. “That was when we were children. The only thing keeping us together was that we shared a home. When we stopped living in the same place, some of us had no problem leaving others in the dust.”
“You can use my name,” Nesta rolls her eyes, “I’m right here.”
From the corner of her vision, Feyre cringes.
“Are you saying you feel abandoned by Nesta?” Lana continues probing.
Elain’s answering silence tells more than enough. Therapy must actually be paying off, though, because Nesta only thinks about interrupting and defending herself for a second before shaking it off. Her mind focuses on the word abandonment instead.
Lana is focusing on the same thing, because she leans closer and says, “Being abandoned bothers you?”
“I never said that,” Elain says indignantly.
“It would bother most people.”
Nesta watches Elain sigh and blink her big doe eyes at Lana. She’s always been able to use those eyes on anybody for anything. “I just don’t understand why I’m the villain for expecting a little loyalty,” Elain says sweetly. “Especially when you take a look at this face.” She cups her round cheeks. “You know psychology. How could you abandon this face?”
Nesta’s jaw hangs open. “Are we still talking about me?” She remembers Cassian telling her the story behind Azriel ghosting Elain, and a pang of guilt and pity hits her. She still hasn’t talked with Elain about why Azriel left Velaris, and she knows she won’t be able to decide whether to spare Az or not until she does.
“So that’s my turn,” Elain finishes up. “Feyre can go next.”
Lana is writing something sharply on her notepad, but she nods coolly. “Feyre, how would you describe your relationship with your sisters?”
“Oh, we don’t have time for all of that,” Feyre laughs awkwardly and waves a hand.
Nesta agrees, but the look Lana gives Feyre tells her that yes, they do have time.
Gulping, Feyre glances around. “Well, I was born last, so I guess that made me the outsider of the family. I never had much in common with my sisters, but now that we’re older I… hoped that we would grow past that.”
Translation: she hoped that once she found her happy ending in Rhysand’s arms, poor little Nesta and Elain would happily assimilate into her new community of wealthy friends, putting the cherry on top of her perfect life. And while Elain did that exact thing, it’s always bothered Feyre that Nesta won’t do the same.
Feyre continues, “I admit I’m not the best at understanding Nesta. Elain and I get along fine now, but Nesta…” Feyre meets her eyes. “It’s like nothing we do is enough for her, but for some reason I can’t stop trying.”
“Whose fault is that?” Nesta mutters.
“You want her approval,” Lana hums, taking notes.
“Is that what it is?” Feyre looks away.
Nesta refrains from saying yes, that’s exactly what it is, and it’s not my problem if you keep looking for something I can’t give.
“What are your feelings about that, Nesta?” Lana turns her focus to her. “Remember that this is a safe space.”
It really isn’t, not with two siblings holding long term grudges against Nesta. But once and for all, she’s going to set the record straight. “I spent most of my life being a bad sister.” Nesta’s voice is apathetic, straightforward. “I let Feyre take the burden of providing for us even though I was the oldest, and I didn’t know how to be anything other than cruel to my family. So once I had the means to do so, I cut everyone off for all of our sakes. I still don’t regret it, because being a stranger is better than being a bad sister.”
In that way, Nesta is a bit like her mother. Nesta was angry after her death, but she knows she would have been even angrier if Magdalene Archeron had lived and continued to be a disappointing parent. In that way, both of them are wise for leaving their families when they did.
“Or you could just be a good sister,” Elain interrupts with a drawl.
Nesta smirks bitterly at her. “I’d rather die.”
Feyre takes in a breath. “Why? Why are you like that with us?” She blinks furiously, and Nesta can see the simmer of her emotions. “It was okay when we thought you hated everybody, but you don’t. You only hate me and Elain.”
Nesta looks to Lana for help, but her therapist is sitting this one out. She sighs through her nose. “I don’t hate you,” she says, even though they might never understand. The next line comes with great difficulty. “I’ve loved you since before I even knew what love was. But I don’t like you very much, Feyre, and you don’t like me, either. Please stop trying to change that.”
When she finally meets Feyre’s eyes, though, they’re glimmering with tears. “How can I stop trying to change that?” Feyre whispers. “How can I give up on us like that?”
For Nesta to give Feyre and Elain the relationship they want from her would require nothing but lies on her part. And as much as she wishes she was capable of lying about this, she can’t do it.
Looking away and down at her hands, Nesta mutters, “It’s not fun for me either, but it’s how I am. I can’t be easy or friendly with you. I hate watching you try to make me be easy or friendly.”
Nobody says anything to that, but when Nesta looks up again Lana gives her a remote nod that Feyre and Elain don’t catch. Thank you for your vulnerability, it says.
“You said something interesting, Nesta,” Lana breaks the silence. “Did you see your sisters as your responsibility to raise?”
Nesta shrugs. “I was the oldest,” she repeats.
“Your father was the oldest.”
“He wouldn’t do shit even if you held a gun to his head, so I was up next.” Though Nesta hadn’t done shit either. Neither had Elain, but the rules have always been different for her. Elain redeems herself to others by handing out sunny smiles and pretending to have the intelligence of a fawn.
Lana stares at Nesta until Nesta’s skin starts to heat. “What?” she says defensively.
Ignoring the other two women in the room, Lana leans forward. “You told me once early into our relationship that part of the reason you left Tennessee was to get away from your sisters. You said you were heartbroken when they ended up following you here.”
Nesta doesn’t breathe or look to see her sisters’ reactions.
“Now I’m going to ask: did you really want to get away from your sisters, or did you want to escape the feeling of failing them?”
Nesta doesn’t know how to answer, because to her they might as well be the same thing. Having Feyre and Elain around is like having a weight tied to her chest. The lingering guilt every time Feyre is in a room, her existence screaming I’m the reason you’re still alive. Elain’s constant expectations of unconditional support and loyalty, whether it’s reciprocated or not. It’s all so heavy. And it all goes back to the fact that the three of them were once just helpless children.
If she couldn’t take care of her sisters, how is she supposed to take care of any child, ever?
Nesta releases a weary sigh. “You’re going to bring this up the next time we have the baby talk, aren’t you?”
Lana’s eyes sparkle. “Don’t get ahead of yourself just yet.” But Nesta can see from where she sits that her therapist’s notepad is covered in bullet points.
***
“I need to use the bathroom.” Feyre is hopping back and forth on her feet once the session is over. “You guys head down to the parking lot without me.” She exits in a rush, leaving the two sisters alone. Nesta hisses in frustration, nearly chasing after Feyre so she won’t have to face the inevitable awkward conversation with Elain.
By the end of the session, it was Elain that broke and pleaded with Nesta, “Don’t do everything we want, then. Just keep doing better, the way you’ve already been doing. I’ll be happy with just that.”
Nesta was surprised that Elain had even noticed her efforts, but she retorted, “And how do you plan to do better?”
To which Elain twirled her hair and murmured something halfheartedly about, “I might be more open to taking criticism or whatever.”
Though it was the absolute bare minimum, it was still a relief for Nesta to hear Elain admit that she has flaws worth criticizing.
Now, Nesta clutches the straps of her purse and turns for the stairwell leading to the parking lot. Elain follows without comment.
Inside the stairwell, Nesta asks, “Have you spoken to Azriel since he left Velaris?”
Elain looks surprised at the sudden question, and doesn’t remember to be guarded when she answers, “No. Why?”
Nesta shrugs, her heels thumping loudly on the linoleum stairs. “Because I know what happened between you two. I know why he left.”
Elain halts midstep, grabbing Nesta’s arm and turning to face her with wide eyes. “What do you mean, you know? He told you?”
“He told Cassian, and Cassian told me.” Nesta hardly cares that she’s being a poor friend to Azriel by spilling all this to Elain, and continues, “If I had known he was such a coward, I would have kicked him out of our place a long time ago… but I figured I would get your input on it first.”
She’s never seen Elain look so genuinely pleading before. “Get my input on what?” Elain breathes. “What did he say about me? Was it something I did?”
At that torn face that borders on heartbroken, Nesta decides that she’ll do more than kick Azriel out of the cabin. She’ll kick him off the whole mountain.
She shoves Elain’s back to get Elain detached from her and moving down the stairs again, and as they walk, Nesta spills everything she knows. She tells Elain about Rhysand’s talent of shoving his nose into places it doesn’t belong, and how one conversation with him managed to convince Azriel to ditch Elain for good. She tells her about how instead of having a straightforward conversation with Elain, Azriel chose to leave the city and hide out in the mountains like a pussy. She might sound blunt, but Elain needs blunt. She needs to know the unfiltered truth of things.
By the time they reach the floor where their cars are parked, Elain is silent. “Did he really say that?” she finally asks quietly. “He said he wants me to hate him?”
“That’s what I heard.” After a moment, Nesta feels the need to add, “You should hate him, though. He fucked up bad.”
When Elain continues strolling for their cars without replying, concern bites at Nesta. “You are mad at him, right? And mad at Rhysand? You’re not going to forgive them, right?”
“I’m not a total pushover,” Elain snaps. She stares at the cement ground as they walk. “I’m just… more disappointed than anything else. He gave up so easily.” She chuckles without humor. “It sounds like he was looking for an excuse to get away from me.”
Nesta frowns. “I don’t think he would’ve spent so long moping around our house if he wanted to leave you.” Though they can never truly know what Azriel was thinking or feeling until he grows a pair and talks to Elain. Still, she shudders at having to defend him.
“I take it he doesn’t mope anymore?” Elain says.
Nesta doesn’t know how to answer that truthfully. She knows there’s more to Azriel than he lets her and Cassian see, and she knows he’s gotten better at keeping his feelings to himself. So she says, “It looks like he’s doing better, but I really don’t know.” They reach Elain’s car.
“Were you in love with him?” Nesta suddenly asks. Or worse, is she still in love with him?
Elain digs around for her keys in her purse. “You know how I am. Of course I was.”
“Not anymore, though?”
Elain looks up, keys now in hand. “It’s hard to still feel love for someone I haven’t talked to in two months.”
Then it wasn’t real love. Nesta is relieved, even though it doesn’t change the fact that Elain is hurting either way.
Elain jabs her keys at Nesta and says sharply, “Don’t you dare punish him for what he did. That’s for me to decide on.”
Nesta’s brow creases in refusal. “I’ll do what I need to do, and you do you.” She’ll have to be careful with her plotting, though, considering Azriel is Cassian’s brother.
“No.” Elain surprises Nesta with the force in her tone. “He’s your roommate and your friend. Keep treating him like it.”
Elain makes it sound easier than it is, and Nesta wants to argue until she sees Feyre heading down the parking lot toward them. “Fine,” she grumbles halfheartedly.
Elain gives her one final long look, not of threat but something else. “Thank you—for inviting us today.” That’s all she says before getting in the driver’s seat of her little red car. At the same time, Feyre catches up to them.
“Where are you parked?” Feyre pants as she approaches Nesta. She sounds a bit out of breath, like she ran to get here before Nesta could drive off alone.
Nesta points down the lot to where her scrappy old car is waiting for her, and Feyre straightens up with a grim smile. “I’ll walk you.”
Nesta knows that arguing isn’t worth it, so she allows Feyre to trail her the rest of the way to her car. Once they reach the old thing, Nesta gives a curt goodbye and heads straight for the driver’s door. Before she can touch the handle, Feyre attacks her from behind with a hug.
“Get off me, freak!” Nesta tries to jostle her way out of Feyre’s arms. She tries being nice to her sisters one time and this is what she gets—
Feyre only squeezes her tighter. “You don’t have to hug back. Just let me love you my way.”
Nesta squirms for another second before stilling. Swallowing tightly, she stares at the reflection of herself and Feyre in the car door window. One of her hands goes to where Feyre’s hands are clasped around her stomach, and she stands there without moving. She can’t remember the last time she shared affection with a family member like this, but it must have been before their mother died.
The warmth at Nesta’s back doesn’t leave, like Feyre is trying to pour all her understanding into the hug. Silently saying, I’m finally starting to get it.
In a way, Nesta is starting to get it, too. After all, how do sisters with such a complicated history begin to forgive each other?
Not by apologizing, but by doing better in the future.
***
On her way home, Nesta remembers at the last minute to stop by Gwyn’s apartment to pick up one of her sweaters. She doesn’t know when Gwyn started raiding her closet like it was a free mall, but she has a school event next week and doesn’t plan on letting her nicest clothes rot at Gwyn’s forever.
Nesta enters using the key beneath the doormat, knowing Gwyn is at work and won’t mind her stopping by. She scans the living and dining areas for a glimpse of brown cashmere, but only finds scattered books and a disorganized mess. Her fingers twitch with the urge to stop and tidy up the place, but she continues hunting for the sweater. Gwyn promised it would be waiting in plain sight for her.
Realizing the scatter-brained girl probably forgot to put the sweater out for her, Nesta pauses in the hallway leading to Gwyn’s bedroom and bites her lip. She doesn’t know if bedrooms are off limits or not, considering how often Gwyn and Emerie have barged into hers, but she knows she doesn’t want to make a second trip here just for a sweater.
Without giving it further thought, she strides into Gwyn’s room—
And yelps to find Gwyn on the bed.
Except she isn’t alone, and there’s definitely another body under the dark green blanket with her, and whoever it is definitely has their head between her legs.
Nesta spins away at the same time she hears Gwyn’s cry of surprise. She braces one hand against the doorjamb and presses the other to her freezing cold face, not having any words for what she just saw.
“Nesta?” Gwyn calls from behind her. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Um, have you seen my sweater? It’s the expensive one.” She’ll just grab it and leave. Or maybe she’ll just leave—yes, that sounds like a good idea.
“Nesta?” a new, deeper voice repeats.
Gwyn hisses, and Nesta freezes because she recognizes that voice. She wants to be wrong so badly, but she has to whirl back around to confirm for herself.
“Azriel?”
***
a/n: i decided to cut this chapter short and add an extra one to flesh out my silly little gwynriel subplot. so if there’s anything specific or random you wanna see happen in the next chapter tell me bc i might have space for prompts!!
tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook a favor: @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea
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shishu-writes · 4 years
Note
hi! your inarizaki manager headcanons were super cute so i was wondering if I could request headcanons or a scenario idm! of inarizaki maybe accidentally making their smol manager cry? 🥺
𝐈𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐲
Warnings: Language, Atsumu being mean
WC: 1.5k
Genre: Angst if you squint, fluffy ending
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this one! Thank you for the awesome req anon 💞
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It had been a long day for everyone, the summer camp was grueling. The first two days of the week-long camp had been going alright, however the boys had lost a lot more games than they had originally anticipated. They just couldn’t seem to get into the groove of it, and it was putting everybody in a slump.
 The night of the second day of camp really put everyone on edge. Kita had called everyone, including you to the room they had been staying in to talk over why they have been in this slump and maybe find a solution. Opposing views on why the team was lacking during the past few days surfaced and Atsumus pessimistic attitude set something off in Suna, which resulted in the boys arguing.
Osamus bad habit of instigating emerged, which escalated the argument to a point where Kitas yelling would only fuel the argument more, which, in turn, made Aran try to calm Kita down, that then led to the two of them also arguing. Hitoshi had enough and left the room for a walk around the building, not even wanting to risk getting involved. Michinari and Ren sat with you in the corner, in silence, Michinari chose to stay purely for entertainment purposes, and Ren just wanted to sleep. 
As you turned to spark conversation with Ren a loud slap echoed through the room. Quickly your head snapped back to the group of boys. It took a couple of seconds to register what was happening. Everyone stood in silence and shock as Suna held his fist, Atsumu gripping his cheek. 
He glared at Suna before reeling back his arm to throw a punch towards him, Kita quickly grabbed his fist and shoved him against the wall, Aran dragged Suna outside, and Ren quickly scrambled up to follow the two boys. 
“I don’t know what the fuck you two think you’re doing but I will absolutely not hesitate to tell coach and get you both kicked off of this fucking team! We aren’t fucking middle schoolers Atsumu! When we have a problem we talk it out like adults we don’t start throwing fucking punches ESPECIALLY when you two are fucking teammates!” Kita yells, barely taking a breath between words. 
“If this shit continues the rest of camp you are both off the team. And you...we will have words.” Kita hisses, directing his final words at Osamu. Kita exits the room, leaving only The Miyas, you, and Michinari. 
Quietly, you shuffle towards Atsumu, who had slumped himself against the wall, sitting on the floor while cupping his cheek. “A-Atsumu…” you whisper, slowly sitting down in front of him while Osamu stands behind you. Slowly you reach your hand out, “Can I...take a look at your cheek for you..? I should bandage it before it starts bruising..” 
Gently you move to place your hand over his and right as the pads of your fingers touch his hand he slaps it away, scattering onto his feet. “Don’t fucking touch me. Get the fuck away from me..” He hisses at you, glaring down at you from above “I just-” “You just what? You’re only here because no other fucking club wanted you around! You thrive on the attention we give you in exchange for what? You nagging at us all hours of the fucking day? Give me a break, you have to be the most annoying girl I've ever met.” 
It takes him a couple seconds to realize what he said, both him and Osamu are silent. Michinar had been slowly making his way out of the room, the door slightly ajar, but he, too, was now frozen in shock. Tears brimmed the corner of your eyes until they overflowed. 
Quickly you stood up, running out of the half open door to be faced with the rest of the team who seemingly heard the whole thing. Too ashamed to look up at them you ran past, leaving the building. “I'll get her.” Aran spoke up, running in the direction you left while the rest of the team filed back into the room. 
Atsumu stood, dejected, arms hanging by his sides with a look of regret on his face. “I didn't mean it..” He whispers. Kita sighs, running a hand through his hair. “We know that. She's the only person that could truly ever put up with you...but she doesn’t. And you know how she is. She's going to take it to heart, because it's coming from someone she looks up to.” he whispers.
 Atsumu runs his hands over his face, sitting back on the ground. “Let's give her time...Let Aran work his magic.” Hitoshi says lightheartedly, sitting back on his mat.
-
The next day the team gets a very harsh scolding from their coach, the majority were issued warnings and went on their way. During the first couple hours of practice you were nowhere to be seen. After lunch the coach had called the boys for another meeting back in their room. He sat on the floor, placing his hands on his lap. “Can someone explain to me why Y/n just let me know that after the camp ends she will be resigning from her position?”
Almost immediately everyones heart simultaneously dropped, pure shock riddled with everyone's features. “Sh-she what?” Kita stutters out. “She told me today at lunch that she didn’t feel as though she was the correct person for the job, and that the team needed someone better. She offered me a list of potential new managers, however I feel like this has something to do with the fight that happened last night..” 
The boys all looked at Atsumu and he quickly got up, exiting the room before running to the managers quarters. When he got there he knocked twice, opening it quickly to find you sitting alone on your mat, looking through a list of potential club options. “Y/n!” “A-ah...Atsumu, good afternoon..” you mutter, looking up at him then quickly looking back down. 
“Why are you leaving the club? You know we need you-w-we’d be a mess if you didn’t take care of us like you do..” he stutters. Walking towards you slowly and sitting in front of you on the mat “You guys will be alright, it's not like I do much anyways...I gave a list of some really talented first years to the coach that should be an even better replacement.” “We want you! Y/n I know I said some really...really terrible things but I promise you I didn’t mean a word of it. I was just angry and I had been bottling it all up since we got here and I took it out on you and it wasn't fair. You take such good care of us...You make us each feel cared for and you do everything we ask of you and go above and beyond..You hold us together and.. We will never have a manager that could even compare to you...you’re also...our friend...and i’d hate to see you leave because I was acting like a fucking idiot. Please forgive me.” 
Stifling a sob, you nod. Atsumu wasn't one to show vulnerability to people, you and Osamu were the exception. His words were genuine, and you knew it by the way he looked you in the eyes when he spoke. 
He pulls you in for a tight hug, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. “So you'll stay with the team?” he whispers. “I couldn't just leave my family like that..” you whisper. “If you say some stupid shit like that to Y/n again I wont hesitate to break your nose next time.” A voice speaks up that you immediately identified as Sunas. 
As you looked up, the team was standing at the door, half smiles resting on their lips. “Don't think about leaving us like that again..i'd hate to have those sleepovers at my place monthly if you weren't helping me keep an eye on these idiots.” Kita speaks up, earning a giggle from you. 
You wave the boys over and they all shuffle in, sitting with you. “Let's work really hard the rest of the camp okay? Afterwards I think we need some serious bonding time so I say...Weekend road trip to the beach?” “Fine by me if Kita and Samu drive!” “That was the plan Michinari, you'd kill us halfway there..” “We have to split the Miyas up-” “I call Y/n in my car!” “rock paper scissors over her!” “I'm going in Kita’s car-” “Can we please resume practice now?” the coaches voice calls out through the room, his tone light, a smile adorning his features as you all turn to look at him. 
The team nods, still holding their conversation about seating on the trip down to the beach, and over the next few days they were able to get it back together, surprising the other teams there with the sudden difference in skill. 
You really were the thing that held these boys together.
and they couldn’t ask for a better manager, or a more reliable friend.
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babymetaldoll · 3 years
Text
DIWK - Chapter nine: “Fuck it, I love you”
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Word count: 8,2K
Summary:  (Y/N) is struggling with her feelings for Spencer, and being just her friend might be harder than she thought. Spencer feels everybody but (Y/N) knows he is in love with her, and for a second, he is sure he will lose her.
Warnings: Cursing, angst frustration, mention of S03E09 (Penelope), usual Criminal Minds content.
A/N:  Hello my dearest friends! hope you are having a great week, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. All feedback is welcome!
Masterlist
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |
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(Y/N)'s point of view
Since Rossi joined the team, we were as busy as we had been in a long time. We didn't have much free time, and most of the cases took us out of Virginia. But, it was our job, and we all liked it, which is why none of us complained much. No one but JJ, who still tried to keep her relationship with Will a secret.
On the bright side, all that traveling and working with the team got us even closer. Having Rossi there gave us a boost to be better at what we did and be even better friends. We had to spend a lot of time together, and by the look in David's eyes, you could tell he was surprised by how good we all got along. At least most of the time.
We were in Florida trying to find an unsub who kidnapped and mutilated women when it happened. After knowing them for over two years, Garcia and Morgan had a fight. A real fight.
- "Hey, how is it going with Father Marks? Any of the volunteers jumped out at him?"- I asked Morgan when I found him at the station after a long day trying to find a lead that might take us to the unsub or the victims.
- "Not yet"- my cellphone rang that second, and Garcia's voice at the other side of the line gave me more info on the case.
- "I'm still running the particulars of our homicides though vicap. Nothing so far."- she announced.
- "Ok. I just sent you the volunteer search list"- I walked from Morgan and sipped my coffee, feeling there was something off.
- "Ok. And I'm cross-checking the names against mental institution records."
- "Pay attention to individuals who were involuntarily committed in Florida. Rossi is convinced our unsub is the type that likes to stick close to home."
- "Got it. Talk to you later."
- "Wait, PG. You usually call Morgan about these kinds of things. Is everything ok?"- I whispered though I knew Morgan was paying a lot of attention to what I was talking about on the phone with Garcia.
- "God, I hate profilers"- she groaned at the other side of the line.
- "Come on, tell me."
- "Fine. I met this guy in the coffee shop I go to every day. His computer crashed, and I helped him fix it. He flirted, I flirted, and he asked for my number, and somehow I gave it to him 'cos he was incredibly hot and nice, and did I mention he was smoking hot? I didn't think he was going to call, but he did, which was surprising 'cos these things do not happen to me, sweet cheeks, never! But it did! And when I told Derek, he just told me I have to blow him off 'cos it's too weird."
- "What!?"- Penelope spoke so fast she didn't even breathe.
- "Yes! Just because he wouldn't hit on me doesn't mean another hot guy wouldn't! And he made me feel like I don't deserve anyone's attention."
- "I'm gonna kill him,"- I whispered and turned around. Derek wide opened his eyes and shrugged, not getting what was going on.
- "Don't. I'll take care of him when you guys come home."
- "Well, take care in the mid-time, and I'm here if you need to talk."
I hung down and sighed. Morgan looked at me, knowing I knew what happened between the two of them.
- "So?"
- "You fucked it up,"- I whispered and smacked his shoulder.
- "Is she furious?"
- "She's hurt. That's actually worse."- Derek sighed and shook his head.
- "What do I do?"
- "You mean, other than to apologize?"- I walked with him to get Hotch and tell him what Garcia had just informed us- "Think big, 'cos you really fucked it up."
- "What does Reid do when he fucks things up with you?"- Morgan asked, and I could sense the innuendo hidden in his words.
- "He doesn't do a thing, 'cos he never fucks up"- I answered with a pleased smile and turned to Hotch. It was time to catch a killer, not time to argue with Derek.
I always thought Morgan and Garcia were the greatest friends I had ever met. I could envy their relationship, especially 'cos they could be so flirtatious and so adorable, and at the same time, you knew their friendship was sacred.
I envied that. I don't think Penelope felt for Derek the way I felt about Spencer. That's why I was sure I had fucked it up. I didn't have to catch those kinds of feelings for my best friend, and I felt I had to find a way to get rid of them. I had to stop having a crush on Reid.
Those weeks had been challenging and yet amazing. It was awful knowing I had a crush on my best friend, but I was really enjoying all the time we were spending together. We had been sharing rooms for the last two cases, and that meant endless sleepovers with Spencer. After a long day, we would meet in our room and just share candies, ice cream, pizza, movies, whatever we needed to decompress.
If things had been too hard, I would lay with him on his bed and just cuddle for a while before going back to my bed. More than once, I fell asleep with him, feeling his fingers playing with my hair as he read. I always apologized the following day, but Spencer kept saying he didn't bother, that he had slept well and that I could always count on him whenever I felt bad.
Knowing I had never done that with Mikey or Frank more than a handful of times in all the years we had met each other made me feel like the shit. Sure, I could sleep in the same bed with them, but not the way I did with Spencer. This felt intimate. Serious. Real. Waking up in Spencer's arms was the best way to start my day, and each time it happened, it made me feel worst and worst 'cos I didn't want to ruin the best friendship I ever had over a silly, stupid, meaningless crush.
Each time it happened, I promised myself it would be the last one. And each time I did, I ended up falling into his arms again. It never meant anything sexual. It was just sharing a bed, cuddling. Holding each other. It was all the intimacy I always refused to share with other people. And I guess that's what freaked me out the most: how vulnerable I was with Reid and how much I enjoyed it for the very first time. Ever.
- "Hey,"- I heard Spencer whisper when we landed. I was curled up on his chest on the couch on the plane, as usual after a long case. I scratched my eyes, probably messing with my makeup, and smiled at him.
- "Sorry... you must have been awfully uncomfortable."
- "Not really. Besides, you looked like you needed a good nap,"- I chuckled and shook my head, sitting down correctly.
- "Next time I drool on your jacket, please wake me up,"- I collected all my things and took a look around- "What time is it?"
- "Almost midnight,"- he announced and stared at me as he held his go bag and put on his jacket- "Do you want to grab something to eat before you go home?"- and I nodded, thinking that was exactly what I had in mind.
But life had other plans, and this time it had nothing to do with us. We were about to get out of my car to catch a late dinner when I got a call from Hotch telling me Penelope was in the local hospital. Spencer's cell phone rang at the same time, and JJ announced the same. We looked at each other for a moment, scared of the worst, and all we managed to do was to get buckled up and drive to the hospital. We both needed to know Penelope would be ok, but all we knew was that she had been shot, and the doctors were doing all they could to save her life.
As soon as we reached the waiting area, we met Aaron and JJ. They looked as worried as we were.
- "She's in surgery,"- JJ announced, and I hugged her immediately- "There's no word."
- "This is crazy,"- Spencer whispered as I felt JJ's arms tighten around me.
- "I can't believe it! I talked to her before we took off."- I murmured and closed my eyes.
- "What do we know?"- Rossi asked, walking over in a hurry with Prentiss.
- "Police think it's a botched robbery,"- Aaron explained.
- "Where's Morgan?"- Emily asked, looking around the hall.
- "He's not answering his cell,"- JJ replied, and Spencer took his phone right away.
- "I'll call him again."
I looked at him as he walked away and turned to my friends. Emily and JJ were doing their best to stay strong, but it was clear they were fighting the tears back, just as badly as I was doing.
Spencer walked back and shook his head. He couldn't reach Morgan. I walked to him and rested my head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. It was unreal. I felt I was in a nightmare, and I couldn't wake up, no matter how much I tried.
- "They can't give me an update,"- JJ walked over to us after half an hour. She had been trying to get more info about Penelope's condition, but nothing.
- "Morgan's phone just keeps going straight to voicemail,"- Spencer added, and Prentiss's angry voice nearly made me jump.
- "Where the hell is he?!"
Nearly two hours later, Spencer finally contacted Derek, and in less than half an hour, he rushed into the hospital and found us still waiting for news about Penelope. He ran over, shocked and confused, and looked at us, waiting for an explanation.
- "She's been in surgery a couple of hours."- JJ whispered as soon as he stood by our side.
- "I was at church. My phone was off,"- he explained and mostly tried to excuse himself for not being there earlier.
- "There is nothing you could have been doing here,"- Reid whispered, trying to make him feel better. Spoiler: it didn't work. Morgan was getting more and more hyperventilated with every second he spent in that hospital.
- "The police got any leads?"
- "I spoke to the lead detective. He doesn't think we'll get anything from the scene."
Hotch spoke in the calmest voice he had. Morgan was about to say something but bit his tongue. Instead of yelling, he walked around the hall for a few minutes until a doctor approached us.
- "Penelope Garcia?"- and we all nearly yelled "Yes" as a desperate reply.
- "The bullet went into her chest and ricocheted into her abdomen. She lost a lot of blood. It was touch-and-go for a while, but we were able to repair the injuries."
- "So what are you saying?"- JJ questioned as we all held our breath.
- "One centimeter over, and it would have torn right through her heart. Instead, she could actually walk out of here in a couple of days. And I'd say that's a minor miracle."
The way we all sighed, relieved at those words, was priceless and unbeatable. The doctor smiled at us and added.
- "She needs her rest. You can see her in the morning."
- "Thank you,"- I smiled at him, and he was gone. I turned around and looked at Reid. He cut me a short smile as Hotch's voice caught our attention.
- "David and I will go to the scene. I think the rest of you should be here when she wakes up. I don't care about protocol. I don't care whether we're working this officially or not. We don't touch any new cases until we find out who did this."
We all nodded right away. No one had other plans. And after those words, Hotch and Rossi were out of the hospital, and we were left waiting for Penelope to come back from surgery.
- "How are you?"- Reid whispered and handed me a new cup of coffee.
- "Scared. You?"
- "Me too"
- "Who could ever want to hurt Penny? She is adorable,"- I murmured and shook my head.
- "We are gonna find whoever did this"- Spencer held my hand and cut me the warmest smile. I nodded and looked at Derek, who stood up from his chair for the hundredth time and walked to Penelope's room to see if she was ok.
- "In case we ever fight, I want you to know I will always forgive you,"- I murmured in Spencer's ear and rested my head on his shoulder.
- "Should I be worried?"- he asked me, and I just shook my head.
- "I just wanted you to know that you will always be my best friend, Spencer Walter Reid. No matter what happens between us."
And I meant every word back then. I had no idea what was coming ahead and how much things would change within a few months.
Spencer's point of view
The attack against Penelope hit us all hard. She had been shot by the same man who had invited her out for dinner. The one she and Derek had had a fight about.
Of course, Morgan was the one who was more affected by the whole situation. I tried to comfort him, and he nearly killed me. I knew Derek didn't mean to be mean. He was just losing it and feeling overwhelmingly guilty about everything going on. He was in hell, and you could tell. I didn't want to think what it would be like to be in his place. If anything ever happened to (Y/N) and I wasn't there to help her, I would go crazy. So I understood how Derek felt and did my best to be supportive.
Those days also made it pretty evident Rossi was still shocked we were such close friends and team members at the same time. I know he was friends with Gideon, but the fact our friendship surprised him so much made me wonder how close they really were.
It didn't get better when we were all asked to stop working on the case after Hotch found an encrypted file in Garcia's system, and she ended up suspended. That's who we found out how the FBI had recruited her.
Morgan and I were at the hospital with Penelope when Hotch gave her the news and heard the story of her hackers days. Something that I bet she didn't really want us to know about her.
- "After my parents died, I... kind of went off the rails for a while. I dropped out of Cal Tech. I lived underground, basically. But I kept teaching myself code. It was like the one thing that kept me together. In the way, the bureau decided to keep an eye on me, I guess... Did you know they keep track of hackers?"
Neither Morgan nor I opened our mouths. We couldn't, 'cos we were processing the whole information.
- "They do, of the ones who have the skill to be either extremely useful or a potential menace."
- "So they offered you a job?"- I asked her, and she simply nodded- "Like Frank Abagnale. The bureau figured if you can't beat 'em, hire 'em."
- "Yeah. Something like that."
- "Garcia, what's on the encrypted file?"- Derek crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her, waiting to hear nothing but the truth.
- "I'm required to keep a record of everything the team does. And after my system got hacked and Elle got shot, I just didn't want anyone else to be able to get at you."
- "We'll talk to the doctor, see if he'll clear you to leave,"- I whispered and left the room, just in time to get JJ's call to announce we were officially off the case. It wasn't good, and it wasn't getting any better at all.
In a way, the fact we were all such good friends wasn't as beneficial to the case as it could be. It all came clear later that night. Penelope was attacked again, this time in her own house. Unfortunately, a cop was killed in the process, and if it weren't for Morgan, who insisted on crashing her couch that night, Penelope would have been dead too.
We were all at her house at three in the morning. We wanted to take her to the BAU and keep her safe, though we all knew it would be hard to explain to the authorities, all things considered. We were all just talking about what had just happened when Garcia started remembering more details about her date with her attacker, and we decided to ask more questions about it in case she could give us more info that might lead us to him.
- "Tell us about the car,"- I told her and sat in front of her.
- "Why?"
- "Just go with him"- Morgan smiled at her and nodded, trying to reassure her everything was ok. It wasn't, not even close.
- "You said it was white, 4-door, American. What else?"- I asked Penelope, but she shook her head, confused.
- "That's it. It was just a car."
- "No, come on, think. Anything. Go back."- Morgan held her hand. We could tell she was trying her best to cooperate, and he was making his best effort to be sweet and calm, considering he was losing it to catch the asshole who hurt her.
- "The seat belt was buckled behind his back. Why does that matter?"- and that was progress.
- "It wasn't a rental. It was for surveillance,"- Derek explained to her.
- "Agents don't wear seat belts. They need to get out in a hurry"- (Y/N) added and was about to add something else when Rossi walked across the room and sat in front of Penelope.
- "All right, let's cut the crap. You need to be straight with us. Right now!"- she wide opened her eyes in shock and turned to Morgan- "Look at me, not them!"- Rossi commanded.
- "I'm not hiding anything,"- Garcia whispered, astonished.
- "You got shot. Most people get shot for a reason,"- she tried to look at Derek again- "Eyes here!"
- "Ease up, Rossi!"- Morgan shouted when David raised his voice, scaring everybody in that room.
- "You got a roomful of people here willing to believe that an FBI agent has tried to kill you. We need to know everything you do on company time that we don't know about!"
Rossi yelled on her face, pushing her to tell the truth, and Garcia nearly started crying.
- "What?"
- "Come on, man!"- I guess we were all waiting for Derek to lose it and punch him.
- "It's nothing bad!"- Penelope yelled, and every eye in the room turned to her.
- "Spit it out!"- David pushed her again.
- "It's... I counsel victims' families, and they know where I work, so sometimes they ask me to look into cases for them."
- "What does that mean?"- Rossi frowned and kept his eyes on hers.
- "It just means that the cases, the unsolved ones, I tag them, so whoever's investigating them knows that the FBI considers them a priority."
- "You're not authorized to do that"- Hotch's voice was as severe as kind, which surprised us all. Rossi the most, I guess, 'cos he stood up and turned around.
- "I know. I was just trying to help."- Garcia whispered, fighting the tears back.
- "But whoever's working those cases thinks you're watching them,"- (Y/N) said in a softer voice, probably to explain to Garcia how the whole situation had ended up with her being shot.
- "I just wanted to put pressure on them so that they don't slide,"- Penelope excused herself.
- "How many cases are we talking about?"- Hotch asked.
- "I don't know. 7, 8 maybe. I need to get into my system."
- "You can't. You're suspended,"- Hotch reminded her, though it sounded more like "you are grounded."
- "Wait a minute,"- Morgan interrupted the conversation- "Garcia, on your date, you said this guy was pressing you to find out if you were working murder cases. Hotch, we gotta look at those files."
Hotch looked at David, who was still as pissed as earlier. I don't think neither of us had ever seen him acting like it.
- "I told you, I'm sick of this jagoff being in front of us,"- Rossi said to him, and Aaron nodded.
- "Dave's right. We'll go back to the BAU. Morgan, Reid, (Y/N), Prentiss, you stay here and make sure no one forgets to log out of the system. Garcia should not have access."
We all stayed in her living room as Garcia walked to her room and hacked her own system. At the other side of the screen, Kevin Lynch, the analyst of another FBI department, was fighting back, trying to protect the files, and losing the fight after a few minutes.
Later on, (Y/N) explained to me that was how they met and finally how they fell in love. I guess everything happens for a reason, after all.
We didn't catch the bad guy that day. Instead, JJ was forced to kill him. It was the very first time she shot anyone, and surprisingly, she wasn't as shook up as we all imagined she might be.
- "You do whatever it takes to protect your family,"- she said when Penelope asked her if she was ok.
And she was right. That's how we all felt for each other at that point. And somehow, we all knew we were going to prove it, sooner or later.
(Y/N)'s point of view
I had been part of the BAU for almost three years already when it happened. And I felt so stupid 'cos we had all had a rough couple of weeks, and the last thing anyone needed was another worry. We had just gotten over the whole Penelope issue; having another member of the team injured was the worst thing that could happen.
But it did.
I got shot.
We were after our unsub. George Flemming. The bastard had killed four women in less than a month, convinced God had sent him to Earth to get rid of sin. We had been after him for two whole weeks until we finally got him. But I was stupid and reckless and didn't wait for backups. I wanted to catch that mother fucker, 'cos the way he had killed those women made me madder than I had ever been with an unsub before. That's too dangerous. You can't lose yourself in a case, 'cos you lose your objectivity. You risk your life every day in this job, but that specific day, I put mine on a silver platter.
We were supposed to wait for backup. I was just checking the perimeter, searching for the unsub. Spencer was with me, but he stayed behind for a second, trying to contact Garcia to run the plate number of a car we found hidden in a barn. I should have waited for him, but I couldn't stay still and do nothing when I heard a woman screaming for help. I had to run and try to save her. I wasn't going to let George kill yet another innocent woman and get away with it. He had to pay.
- "FBI! Freeze!"- I shouted as I walked into the last room of the house and found George holding close and pointing a gun at a woman who was covered in blood and bruises but still very much alive. Which, I must say, was a relief.
- "Stay away!! I'll shoot her!! I swear I'm gonna shoot her!!"
The unsub was sweating cold; he looked sick and weak. He looked like I could definitely take him down in a fight.
- "George! Put down the gun!"- I commanded and didn't move my eyes from him.
- "You put your gun down!"
- "I am sorry, George, but I can't do that!"- I answered- "Now let her go and put the gun down before anyone else gets hurt."
- "I don't have to listen to a whore like you! Who do you think you are? Giving me commands? You are evil!! Evil!"- he shouted, clearly losing control.
- "(Y/N), where the hell are you?!"- I heard Reid asking in the earpiece, and I just shook my head.
- "That's all you've got, George? Hiding women in the back of your house and threatening them with your gun? That makes your God proud?"
- "Shut up!! You bring disgrace to Earth! You should be punished too!!"- I took a step closer slowly and shook my head.
- "You are going to be punished, George. For killing innocent women."
- "Innocent? What makes you think they didn't deserve it?"
- "What makes you think you are the one to judge them?"
I kept my gun pointed at him, but I couldn't take a shot 'cos he grabbed the victim and kept her close to him, like a shield.
- "There's a special place in hell for whores like you!"- he announced, and suddenly, all I could feel was pain. There was a second gunshot, and George was down. I took a look around and saw Morgan still pointing his gun at him from outside the room, as Spencer and Prentiss ran inside, and he moved to me and held me close.
- "Medic!! We need a medic!!"- Reid yelled frantically through the speaker- "(Y/N)! How do you feel?"
- "I'm ok, honey bunny,"- I whispered in the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my entire life- He just shot my shoulder, nothing important.
But the way Spencer looked at me, I swear that no one has ever looked at me the same until this day.
- "Don't move!"- he commanded, though his voice was soft and gentle. Prentiss took care of checking George's body. He was clearly dead. She liberated his last hostage and helped her to the ambulance while Reid stayed by my side until a doctor appeared.
- "Why didn't you wait for me?"- Spencer asked as they took me to the ambulance.
- "She needed help"- that was all I could say.
- "Please, try not to talk,"- the paramedic commanded and got me into the ambulance, followed closely by Reid.
- "I'm coming with her."
My best friend wasn't asking for permission. He was informing the medical team he wasn't going anywhere else. And by the tone of his voice, it was clear no one was ever going to change his mind.
- "That was so stupid, chipmunk,"- Spencer whispered and held my hand in our way to the nearest hospital. The paramedics kept pressing my shoulder to stop the bleeding, and I just closed my eyes 'cos honestly, it hurt too much to process what was going on.
- "I am so sorry I wasn't there with you, chipmunk."
- "It's ok, honey,"- I mumbled- "You are right. I was stupid. This is my fault."
- "Please, don't talk,"- the paramedic commanded again, and I just shut up 'cos the pain was too much.
Spencer stayed by my side the whole time. After we reached the hospital, the paramedics took me to the ER, where a doctor cleaned my wound and took out the bullet from my shoulder.
It was a clean wound, and luckily, no arteries were hit. I just got some stitches and a sling, plus a few painkillers I really didn't want to take, 'cos after Spencer's experience with drugs, I was scared of painkillers.
- "Thank you,"- I whispered to the nurse who helped me get dressed and walked out of the room to find Spencer filling up the medical forms and Morgan and Prentiss waiting for me
- "How are you feeling, princess?"- Derek asked and caressed my cheek.
- "Like a virgin"- I sang the Madonna song- "Shot for the very first time"- and though Emily chuckled, Spencer didn't think it was funny.
- "I can't believe you think this is something to joke about!"- Reid frowned, upset.
- "Calm down, honey. I'm ok, I'm alive. It was just a shot on the shoulder."
- "Just? Just a shot in the shoulder?"- and Spencer freaked out- "Did you know some of the larger vessels of the human body run through the shoulder? The subclavian artery and vein, which by the way, are the basic blood supply to the upper extremity."
- "I'm sorry, honey bunny. I shouldn't have said that."- I whispered and tried to calm him down, 'cos I knew precisely the kind of man Spencer could be when he was mad and stressed.
- "The brachial plexus is also located in the shoulder, and it's the primary nerve supply to the upper extremity as well,"- he added and didn't take his eyes from the form he was filling.
- "I understand,"- I added, but he didn't stop.
- "You should also know that the shoulder is a very complex spheroid joint, and if it's injured, it can lead to lifelong disability."
I stood in front of Spencer and placed my movable hand on his chest. That forced him to stop writing and look at me.
- "I'm sorry I got hurt. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to make you mad at me or worry. I am ok, I am here, and I promise I won't do something as stupid and reckless as this ever again. Ok?"
Spencer looked at me and sighed. Morgan and Prentiss were still there by our side, and I had the feeling that stopped my friend from saying what was in his mind. Instead, he nodded and cut me a short smile.
- "Good. Can we go home now?"- I asked, and Morgan grabbed my bag immediately.
- "The jet is waiting, pretty girl. Let's go."
The flight back home was too long. It was only a four hours flight from Fargo to Quantico. But it felt eternal. Besides, I kept doing my best to act cool and in zero pain, in a poor attempt not to worry Spencer. Little did I know, no matter what, he would be worried sick anyway.
- "I was on the phone with Frank,"- he announced and sat in front of me with a cup of hot chocolate.
- "Please don't tell me you called to tell him I got shot,"- Spencer stared at me and cut me a short smile. I closed my eyes and groaned- "Did he go nuts?"
- "No, I started by telling him you were alright."
- "Thank you,"- I whispered and sipped the cup he had prepared for me just the way I liked it, even with the little marshmallows.
- "Your mom went bonkers, though."
- "You called my mom?!"- I shouted, and everybody in the team turned around and looked at us- "Why did you do that?"- Spencer looked at me surprised and frowned.
- "You just got shot, chipmunk. Of course, I'm gonna tell your mom!"
- "But she is going to overreact!"
- "She won't! We already talked. She said she'd stop tomorrow by your apartment to have lunch."
- "Tomorrow, I'll be at work for lunch,"- I frowned, and I swear I wanted to cross my arms on my chest, but I couldn't, 'cos... I have been shot.
- "You won't be back to work until next week,"- Aaron announced from his seat, overhearing the conversation.
- "But Hotch! I'm ok!"
- "Spencer is correct. You just got shot. Take the rest of the week,"- I groaned and frowned at my boss.
- "I can still do my paperwork."- I can't believe I was begging not to get days off from work.
- "You do realize most people don't argue when their bosses give them a few days off, right princess?"- Derek took off his headphones and asked, frowning.
- "But I'm not injured,"- I argued, but I knew I was losing that fight.
- "Chipmunk, may I remind you, you just got shot!"- Spencer looked at me, annoyed.
- "But I'm fine! Look at me! I can dance!"- I was about to stand up and do a little dance, but Reid stopped me. He literally grabbed my good arm and kept me on my seat.
- "It's Wednesday. You just have to stay home Thursday and Friday. And I'll be there, making sure you won't do anything stupid."
I looked at Spencer and groaned one more time.
- "There's no way out of this, (Y/N). You are hurt, and I'm gonna take care of you."
- "Will you cook?"- I whispered and pouted, defeated. And Spencer chuckled, blushing.
- "I will definitely call and ask for your favorite food"- I tried not to smile and shook my head.
- "Oh no, no. If you wanna take the lead and take care of me, you will have to do the whole job and cook, Spencer Walter Reid."- I teased him, and his cheeks turned blood red in less than a minute.
- "Fine,"- he whispered, narrowing his eyes.
- "I can give you my carbonara a la Rossi recipe,"- David said to Spencer from his seat- "Guaranteed to heal all wounds, and special to cheer up your girlfriend, kid."
Everybody stayed quiet at the same time. I wide opened my eyes, shocked, and looked at Spencer, whose cheeks were burning red.
- "She... (Y/N) is not my girlfriend,"- Spencer mumbled and avoided looking at me for a few seconds. Rossi chuckled and turned to us.
- "You call each other cute nicknames, you are always together, you argue like I did with my first wife..."
- "No"- I shook my head and did my best to ignore Derek's teasing comments and Emily's laughter.
- "Well, you could have fooled me,"- David smiled at me, and I didn't know what to answer. I frowned and looked at Spencer, who somehow was even more blushed than he had been a moment earlier.
- "I'm driving you, by the way,"- he whispered, and I didn't really have the strength to argue against that, so I just nodded and sighed.
Spencer's point of view
I thought I was going to die when I saw (Y/N) lying on the floor, blood coming from her shoulder. Time passed in slow motion, like a movie cliché. I ran to her, and I didn't know if the perimeter had been secured. I had no idea if the unsub was dead. I would have killed him myself if I hadn't been focused on (Y/N).
Then she smiled and assured me she was ok. But that wasn't enough for me. Her face was so pale, though her smile was shining bright. So I held her and called a medic. She was in pain, and I didn't know what to do to help her.
I held her hand the whole ride to the hospital and stayed by her side in the ER while the doctor cleaned her wound and put some stitches on it. Then I walked with her to the jet, and the whole time I made my best and biggest effort to stay calm. But once we were on the air, on our way back home, I couldn't hold it back anymore. I could feel the tears fighting their way out, no matter how much I tried to keep them inside.
So I did what seemed more logical and locked myself in the backroom. I needed a minute to put myself together again before I had to continue pretending I didn't nearly lose the woman I love that day. So I washed my face and let the water run through my fingers for a few minutes, trying to calm myself down. But I failed, and the tears started falling down my cheeks anyway.
I rested my back against the door and slowly slipped down to the floor until I was sitting, hugging my legs, crying my heart out.
I knew why I was crying. It was a weird mix of fear and relief. I was scared to lose (Y/N), and at the same time, relieved nothing terrible had happened to her. I had to convince myself it was all ok, that she was there on the plane with me, hopefully trying to get some rest.
- "Spence?"- I heard JJ's voice at the other side of the door, and I quickly stood up and washed my face saying, "In a minute." I looked at my reflex. My eyes were puffed, my cheeks were red. There was no way I could ever convince anyone I hadn't been crying.
- "Can you open the door?"
- "There's another bathroom, JJ,"- I said and closed my eyes.
- "I need to talk to you."
- "I'm kind of busy here..."
- "Spence, please"- she begged, and I gave up, only because I knew she wasn't going to leave me alone. No one at the BAU seems to understand the concept of personal space.
I opened the door and let her in. The bathroom was too small for the two of us, and I didn't want to think of all the teasing I would get from Morgan if he saw us locked in there. JJ smiled and handed me a cup of coffee. I just sipped it carefully, 'cos it was very hot, and looked at my hands, avoiding eye contact.
- "Why were you crying?"- she whispered and stood against the wall in front of me.
- "I wasn't,"- I lied, but she just raised an eyebrow, and I knew it was useless to deny it- "It was a hard day, and I needed to decompress somehow."
- "Was it because of (Y/N)?"- she simply asked, and I just nodded- "It wasn't your fault, Spence."
- "I should have been there. But I stayed behind, on the phone with Garcia checking the plate of a car that didn't even matter at the end."
- "You were doing your job, and so was she."
- "But I should have done my job better, 'cos something bad might have happened to her, and I would have never forgiven myself,"- JJ nodded and reached out for one of my hands. I tried not to look at her but failed.
- "Are you going to tell her how you feel?"
- "Telling her I feel guilty she got injured won't stop her from being reckless,"- but JJ shook her head.
- "No, Spence. I'm talking about you telling her you are in love with her."
I widened my eyes and stayed still, shocked, blushed. JJ cut me a short smile and probably tried to soothe me, 'cos I immediately got all defensive.
- "What... what are you talking about? I am not in love with (Y/N),"- I whispered and prayed no one outside that bathroom had heard her.
- "Spencer, there is nothing wrong with being in love. I actually think you two would make a cute couple."
- "No, JJ, no. I am not in love with her."
- "Spence, I'm not a profiler, but you are not that hard to read. I can see the way you look at her."
- "She is my best friend."
- "But you love her,"- JJ sentenced, and I just sighed- "It's not wrong to have feelings for someone, Spence. I am sure she feels the same way too."
- "We are just friends. That's it. Thanks for the coffee,"- I added and opened the door.
I walked out of the bathroom in a rush. To avoid talking with anyone on the plane, I called Frank and told him what had happened. I also asked him for Mrs. (Y/L/N) phone number and explained the facts too. She was so scared it took me a while to calm her down.
- "I'm going to stay with her tonight,"- I said and looked at (Y/N) at the other side of the yet. She hadn't slept at all, and I knew she had to rest.
- "Thank you, Spencer. I'll be in Virginia tomorrow. I'm visiting Phoenix in New York this week."
- "Don't worry, Mrs. (Y/L/N), I'll take care of her."
- "You are the sweetest man she could have met,"- she whispered before hanging down, and I couldn't help but wonder if she knew it too.
Apparently, I wasn't hiding my feelings for (Y/N) very well. If JJ could see it, maybe anyone else could. And after what Rossi said, I didn't know if I was busted or not. I didn't know anything. (Y/N) seemed to be as shocked as I pretended to be, so I guess I felt safe. But I knew I had to watch my back now.
Of course, planning to stay with her that night didn't make it easier for me at all.
- "I'm ok, honey bunny,"- she argued and sat carefully on her couch- "You don't have to stay here with me."
- "I'm sorry, chipmunk, but you were shot. There is nothing on Earth that's gonna make me leave you alone right now."
- "Fine, then help me take a shower,"- she simply said, and I widened my eyes. I know I even held my breath at that. I stared at her from the kitchen door, on my way to make her a cup of tea.
- "Well, in that case, I, I will do... I will do whatever you need to help you,"- I whispered and made my best not to stutter. She shook her head and sighed.
- "I was bluffing, honey. But I mean it, you don't have to stay and take care of me. I'll be fine. Just go home and rest,"- but all I could do was walk to the kitchen and put on the kettle.
- "I'm not going anywhere, so... how do you feel about that carbonara a la Rossi recipe?"
- "Spencer Walter Reid, you don't cook."
- "I do cook! Do you think I've lived on take-outs and coffee all these years?"
- "Hell yeah!"- she said and chuckled. She was right, though. I wasn't the best or more experienced cooker on Earth. But for her, I could try.
- "I tell you what. What if you take a bath and relax, I'll cook you dinner, and then we'll watch a movie? Anything you pick."
- "Anything?"- she raised an eyebrow and stared at me so sweetly and concentrated, I nearly stopped breathing. I didn't trust myself with an answer, so I just nodded and looked at her. Her cheeks were blushing, and that made me feel better. Clearly, she was relaxing at home. The color was coming back to her after being hurt. That was always a good sign.
- "Even my favorite chick flick?"- (Y/N) bit her lips and caught my full attention with that simple movement. I nodded again, not really thinking what she meant with "chick flicks." All I could think of were her lips and how incredibly soft they looked.
- "Even Pride and Prejudice?"- she added, and I nodded again.
- "It's an essential piece of literature. Jane Austen was an incredible writer,"- my voice was muffled, and her eyes were shining- "Did you know In 1802, in her late 20s, Austen briefly accepted a proposal from Harris Bigg-Wither, the younger brother of two of her close friends? She rescinded it the following day."
- "Yes, neither her nor her sister ever married"- (Y/N) added, and her eyes moved from mine, traveling around the room- "She believed that a woman shouldn't get married if she wasn't in love. She once advised her niece Fanny Knight that "anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without affection."
Somehow, (Y/N)'s eyes were blurry with sadness all of a sudden. Her words stopped. I was tempted to hold her hands that rested on her lap but stopped myself. I was scared to give too much away, and that she suspected how I felt about her. I didn't want her thinking I was in love with her. Don't get me wrong, I was. I am. And I know I will always love her. But that night on that couch, I was afraid of her rejection and scared she might have stopped being my friend if she ever knew how I really felt about her.
- "Maybe you are right, honey,"- (Y/N) whispered and slowly stood up- "I'll take that bath after all."
- "Watch those stitches"- I quickly stood up too and just nodded, looking at her as she started walking towards her room- "I'll cook dinner meanwhile."
- "Thank you, honey bunny,"- she said and turned around just to cut me a small smile before disappearing into her bedroom.
I made my best effort with dinner. I followed Rossi's instructions to the letter. (Y/N) had a lot of food in her fridge. Unlike me, she actually cooked her own meals. She was right about me and the take-outs. I had never been a great cook, and I trusted my local Thai place with most of my dinners. But that night was different.
Pasta carbonara was pretty good, I must say. (Y/N) opened a bottle of wine, though I told her it was a horrible idea mixing drinking with the pain killers she was prescribed.
- "I am actually not taking them,"- she whispered and took a sip of red.
- "You had a major injure on that shoulder (Y/N)."
- "It's just five stitches, honey. I don't need those pills. I actually didn't even get them,"- she replied. I looked at her in awe, thinking she was way stronger than she even gave herself credit for.
- "In that case, you can have two glasses of wine and extra dessert,"- I stated, and she chuckled.
We ate in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I guess the two of us were pretty tired that night. It had been a long day, a long case, and though neither of us wanted to deal with it, we knew things could have easily gone wrong.
After eating, I cleaned the dishes and prepared a tray with a cup of herbal tea for (Y/N), a coffee for me, and two bowls of ice cream, and we cuddled on the couch to watch Pride and Prejudice. She whispered most of the lines and argued against Darcy for half of the movie. But by the end, she snuggled closer to me, and I wrapped an arm around her carefully, trying not to get near her shoulder at all. Her head was resting on my chest, and I could feel her sighing with each word that Darcy spoke.
- "What is it with you and this book?"- I asked her suddenly. She huffed and looked at me with a cut, short smile.
- "I don't know, but I've been obsessing with Darcy and Lizy ever since I first read the story. I guess the classic "fools in love" story is my weakness. How couldn't they see how much they loved each other from day one?"
My mouth fell open, but I didn't say a word. She just smiled and turned to the screen again. That was good. I didn't want her to see how flustered I was.
- "Darcy knew he loved her, but he tried to fall out of love with her, and she was completely blinded by her so-called "hate" towards him to deal with her real feelings."- (Y/N) added- "I know that's not a complex and complete study of the story but in a short version of the whole plot... I guess that's what's so endearing and addictive about it. Everyone has been Darcy or Lizzy."
- "I doubt most people can relate with having four sisters and an obsessive nervous mother who keeps forcing you to get married,"- I joked, and (Y/N) giggled.
- "You'd be surprised, honey,"- she sighed and snuggled closer. My hand played with her hair for a few more minutes until the end of the movie.
- "(Y/N)?"- I whispered when we were already in bed. I wore the pajamas I kept in my go bag and crawled into bed with her as soon as she asked me to sleep with her. Ee had done it before, it wasn't weird, and we were best friends.
There was absolutely nothing friendly with how I felt, though. But I had to put all those feelings in a box and hide them deep inside of me 'cos they were no good for our relationship.
- "What happens, Spencer?"
- "I just wanted to tell you... you scared me today,"- she sighed. We were already hugged, but she snuggled closer and kissed my cheek softly.
- "I'm sorry, Spencer. I'll be more careful, I promise."
It was such a simple promise, and I knew though she meant well, the job was always going to get in the way. Our lives were always on the line working at the BAU. And no matter how much we wanted to take care of ourselves, sometimes things were out of our control.
- "Promise me you'll be careful too,"- she whispered, and I leaned over to kiss the top of her head gently.
- "I promise I'll be careful, chipmunk."
- "Will you always come home to me?"- she whispered and sighed, dozing off.
- "Always. I love you so much, (Y/N)"- that last confession fell from my lips before I could even realize what I was saying.
- "I love you too, honey,"- she answered, her voice muffled against my chest.
I stayed still, trying to burn in my memory every second of that moment, 'cos I knew it was going to be one of my most precious memories until my last day.
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Next update: June 9th, 2021
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